Have you ever heard the phrase, "If he hasn't hit you, it's not abuse?" This statement is not true. One of the most silent yet destructive forms of marital abuse is chronic indifference. The opposite of love isn't hate its indifference. Indifference says, "I don't care enough about you to give you my time, my energy or my other resources to show interest, care, or love toward you." Indifference says how you feel of what you want doesn't matter to me. You aren't a person to love. You're an object to use. Indifference says, "I don't need to change anything to make our relationship better for you if it's good for me." Indifference says, "You exist for my benefit and when you don't please me or benefit me anymore, you're replaceable or disposable." One of the most horrific abuse stories in the entire Bible is one of gross indifference. A Levite and his concubine wife We're traveling home when they stopped in the town of Gibeah now expecting the typical Jewish hospitality. They waited in the open square Hoping someone would invite them in to spend the night but as it got dark and evening to send it an old man spotted the couple and graciously took them to his house and while the two men were getting acquainted there were Vile men of the city and they surrounded the home and beat on the door and demanded that the old man Bring his guest outside so that they might sexually abuse him the men of the town refused to listen to the old man So the Levite grabbed his own concubine wife and shoved her out the door the men of the town brutally raped her taking turns until dawn and the scriptures say When her husband opened the door to leave in the morning there lay his cock combined wife with her hands on the threshold Coldly, he said get up. Let's go There was no answer. So he tossed her lifeless body on his donkey and took her home Later on he cut her body into twelve pieces and sent one piece to each of the twelve tribes of Israel betraying himself Not his poor wife as the victim of a horrible injustice Now the rape and torture by these vile men was traumatic, but they were strangers Her greater suffering was at her own husband Indifferently tossed her out the door like a piece of trash Knowing full well, she would be used and abused Marriage is the one relationship where and woman publicly make promises not to be indifferent they promise to love to cherish to protect and to honor one another and when a person regularly fails to keep his or her fundamental marital promise the marriage is in deep trouble and To pretend otherwise, it's not healthy or biblical Let me give you an example Kieran was a wife who I worked with who loved her husband and wanted things to work between them But he was just too busy for her. He had little time for her He was busy running a business and making money and playing golf and doing things that he enjoyed and when she tried to talk to Him about her feelings, he became harsh and then gave her the silent treatment. Sometimes ignoring her for months When Karen pursued or pressured him to discuss their problems he verbally attacked her he accused her of being controlling manipulative and the only Personal connection he desired from her was sexual and this left Karen feeling pretty update and used And so finally Karen wired up her courage to have a heart-to-heart talk with her husband about changes She needed in their relationship. And this is what she said Steve. There's something I need to share with you. That's really important Do you have a few minutes to give me tonight? Okay, but I don't have all night. There's a football game starting in a few minutes hmm already not a good sign, but Karen took a deep breath and started this conversation and she said this Steve I know you get very frustrated when I'm not responsive to your sexual needs I know you want me to be more sexual with you and enjoy our physical relationship but the way that you treat me so much of the time makes me feel hurt and Angry when you ignore me for months or accuse me of being things that I'm not or don't give me the time of day I just can't manufacture Warm and affectionate feelings towards you when you want me because I'm feeling upset and hurt and then she asked him the million-dollar question She said this Steve wouldn't you enjoy our sexual relationship? So much more if you knew I wanted to be with you and I enjoyed that part of our relationship Rather than me. Just doing my wifely duty Well Steve response floored her Know what he said, of course, I would but if wifely duties all I can get I'll settle for that Steve's comment woke Karen up to his gross indifference toward her as a wife as a woman and even as a person Everything in their relationship about revolver on him his needs and as long as her body was available to him when he wanted sex It mattered little to him how she felt or what she needed later, Karen told me I never Realized God never intended me just to be a sex object nor to sacrifice my body to enable my husband's selfishness to continue unchallenged Friend indifference can be one of the most unrecognized yet damaging forms of emotional abuse of marriage Maybe he doesn't hit you but it still may be abusive If you found this helpful, please share it with a friend god bless
