Insights from My Life | Neal A. Maxwell

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President Oaks, brothers and sisters, it’s  good to be home. I wasn’t sure I qualified   for continuing membership in this intellectual  community after I read a definition the other   day of an intellectual as “any individual  who can hear the William Tell Overture and   not think of the Lone Ranger.” I don’t  pass that test, but I’m glad to be home. Mention was made by President Oaks in his  generous introduction of my duties in connection   with priesthood correlation. Correlation is a  concept I’m often asked to define. I sometimes   respond by citing a story that is told about the  Church when a federal army was sent out here to   harass the Saints. The Brethren had decided  on a policy of irritation without violence.   In keeping with that policy Porter Rockwell  and Lot Smith were dispatched to a distant   army camp where Lot Smith was to secretly and  quietly remove the pins from the army’s wagon   wheels while Porter Rockwell was to drive off  all the army’s horses. In the dark of night,   Lot was busily taking out wagon wheel pins,  and Porter war-whooped into the camp and drove   off all the horses, including Lot Smith’s.  Lot later walked wearily many miles back   to Church headquarters and reportedly said,  “Brethren, we’ve just got to get correlated.”   Today’s correlation challenges are  different, but the basic need remains. As I pondered possible topics, some members  of my family urged me to use some relevant   autobiographical themes. They have had to  endure my tales of trudging through snow to   school—snow which grew deeper with each parental  retelling. They probably saw no reason why you   should escape the same punishment. Beware  today, therefore, those vertical pronouns   and the selectivity of my memory. At other  times I have spoken in praise of parents and   prophets who have helped me so much, as well as  about my renewing and loving wife and family. Today’s episodes involve other people, most of  them not known to you. The episodes may seem   small, but the lessons were large. We speak and  sing in the Church of counting our blessings,   and that’s a good thing. So is inventorying  our insights. My format today will make use   of some of the sample experiences I’ve had,  with their resultant or related insights,   as a part of my inventory. As you indulge me,  remember that there are wheat and chaff in   every life. A wise lady once said that what  we hope our friends will do is to separate   the wheat from the chaff and, with a breath of  kindness, blow the chaff away. I am grateful now,   as I have been over the years, for  friends who have had strong lungs. My mid-teen years were years when there was a  confluence of conditions that tried and vexed   me. Those are years when peer approval weighs so  heavily, as you know. I found myself contending   with shortness of stature, shyness, outdoor  plumbing, and a 4-H pig project—each of which   had by then become an embarrassment. The periodic  pain, can be smiled at now, but it was real enough   then. Programmed by doting uncles and by myself in  early childhood to love basketball and to aspire   to become all-state, I had, until this period in  my life, been more adept at basketball than most   of my peers. Soon, however, I started not making  the first string, and then the second. It was a   bitter pill. This failure for the first time  to achieve athletically—cruelly combined with   other indications that I was, for the first time,  outside that hard-to-define but very real inner   ring—was a time of long thoughts. Somehow, being  at home feeding the pigs was not like working out   with the varsity—especially when the boy down  the block, whom I had helped some learn to play   basketball, was where I wanted to be. He went  on to be all-state player, which he deserved. During this period I noticed that recycling  regrets didn’t change reality. Pawing through   the past is not productive. This period was a  time when my aspirations got diverted to the   world of words, where there were teachers  who would not let me pass without genuine   achievement. I honor and sustain them evermore.  Thus an insight dawned, although not all at once,   showing me that too much attention to  what might have been actually gets in   the way of what still can be. Those valleys  you and I are sometimes in are really the   sloping sides of hills to be climbed,  with as little muttering as possible. In the spring of 1945 I was on Okinawa as  a frightened and barely adequate infantry   replacement—concerned with victory, to be sure,  but very much concerned with selfish survival.   Japanese artillery pieces had tried for several  days without success to hit the little plateau   on which our mortar squad was located. Then  one evening they dropped three shells around   us. They had finally found the range, and  we knew it. Surely they knew it. Since one   of those shells fell just several feet from my  foxhole, I was stimulated, as you might imagine,   to intense prayer, full of promises. Strangely,  no more shells fell near us that evening,   the very time when more shells should have  been fired for effect. Foxhole faith brought   some real blessings that evening, causing me to  make some covenants which I am still striving   to keep. I have often wondered—if the Lord that  night not only blessed me and others as he did,   so clearly and mercifully, but had also told me  to be of good cheer, for not only would I live,   but one day, just a few ridges away, I  would preach the gospel of Jesus Christ   to an LDS chapel full of members—could I  have managed that insight. Probably not;   yet that is precisely what happened  in 1973, twenty-eight years later,   as I was privileged to go back to that island  and that spot which, for me, is a sacred spot. Sugar cane has since covered the little plateau,  but not my poignant memories of Okinawa,   the bloodiest battle in the Pacific. Two insights  emerged. First, it is naive to think we can repay   God for his blessings. I am more and more  in debt to him now than I ever was in 1945,   and I will be forever. God blesses according to  law, but out of all proportion to the ratios we   mortals reckon by. Second, along with believing  in the gospel, we need to believe in our own   possibilities—not as to status, but as to  power to do good. God could surprise—yes,   even stun—each of us here today if we could manage  such divine disclosures. Such must usually be kept   from us (or can only be hinted at) for now. But  specific and special opportunities are pending   for every person here today, if we can trust God  and do each day’s duties and bear our present   pain. We can’t walk a straight and narrow path  in the dark; hence, God gives to us the gospel,   by which we get direction, motivation, and  illumination. But there appears to be no point,   I learned, in God’s constantly illuminating the  trail beyond where my eyes of faith can now see. Several times in early manhood, friends  (who probably did not know then that what   they said had such an impact) gave me  rather specific and encouraging words,   prospective praise. I can remember their  specific words today. (Incidentally,   I have since told some of those friends who are  still living how helpful they were.) You and I   listen so well when we are ready to hear.  These friends, like good outside auditors,   confirmed my net worth and also pointed  to possibilities for service in ways that   were both timely and tender. Sometimes, in the  mutual climb along the straight and narrow path,   brothers and sisters, we need friends to shout  warnings to us or to give us instructions,   but we also need those moments when warm whispers  can help us to keep putting one foot in front of   the other. Good friends can give us the gifts  of approval and acceptance and of perspective.   How many of us have rendered that specific  service for someone this month? How long   has it been since you have been the recipient of  such a gift? Perhaps too long in both instances.   “Deserved specific praise” is the ingredient  of fellowship, of commending Christians. Several times in our early marriage I was thrust  in a close church or professional association with   those of whom I had, for one reason or another,  been critical. In one case, less than worthy   words had fallen from my lips only a day or two  before a call came to work with that individual,   a development which turned out to be a rich  and happy experience. In such circumstances,   one winces for his words, and pride goes first;  then comes reluctant reclassification, and   finally genuine appreciation. It has happened to  me several times in life. It has helped to teach   me a recurring lesson: God gives to us the lessons  we need most, not the ones we think we need. Also,   often that which we resist learning vicariously we  must learn the hard way—experientially. There is a   learning efficiency that comes with being humble  per se, because of the word, instead of being   compelled to be humble and to be open. I was so  grateful I was not too proud in such associations,   which will, I trust, be eternal. The Christian  receives a customized curriculum in life,   which is but one of many signs that we  have a loving and knowing Father in heaven. There have been insights for me, too,  about the role of silence, its usefulness   and its dangers. A few dealings with student  dissenters taught me (too late to help them,   I’m sorry to say) that my silent disgust did  not necessarily teach them. It often created   distance. Unexplained indignation is not  always communication. True, silence in some   circumstances is a powerful reprover, but not in  other situations. To withhold deserved reproof,   and the reasons therefore, may be to withhold  a warning that is urgently needed. Reproof   is often a last railing before an erring  individual goes over the edge of the cliff. I’ve learned, too, that silence can also be  productive, even though it makes us very anxious.   A fine colleague and friend called my office  shortly after I had been sustained as a General   Authority to ask for an appointment. I was out,  but happily my secretary scheduled an appointment,   and it was for more than a mere ten minutes. The  friend came. I greeted him warmly, but, contrary   to my usual style, I stayed mostly silent. His  eyes brimmed with tears as finally he said that,   as he had listened to conference, he knew he  needed to come and set things right. I resisted   the impulse to intervene reassuringly, since I  knew of nothing that was wrong. He then continued,   saying that he was becoming active in the Church  again and knew he needed to repair certain   relationships. Happily, again I resisted stemming  his flow of feeling. With courage and tenderness,   he indicated that at times he had said things  about me that were untrue and unkind. He   wanted to seek my forgiveness. Only then did I  respond by telling him of my regard for him and   my unawareness of and unconcern over what he  had reportedly said. Most importantly, I told   him of my love and admiration and forgiveness. We  embraced. I expressed then my admiration also for   his courage and for his manhood. He then said how  difficult it had been to come that day and how he   had almost called to cancel the appointment.  We spoke together of the wisdom contained in   Matthew 18:15 and Jesus’ counsel therein as to  what we should do when there are impasses in   human relationships: “Moreover if thy brother  shall trespass against thee, go and tell him   his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall  hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” I love   that man and respect him for taking the  initiative, since I had been unaware of   the matter. He is fully and effectively  active in the kingdom today. He needed   to say what he said more than I needed to  hear it, but I am so grateful I did not rush   in to fill the silence that morning  in the lesson he taught me so well. Spiritual silence is a school. We may think we  are sitting in that school only waiting, but   really we are witnessing those marvelous moments  of creative communication and of new commitment. Ten years of interviewing on a television  program on KUED increased my respect and   appreciation for the lives of individuals  whom I got to know a little bit more about,   other than in their formal roles of  U.S. senators, presidential candidates,   U.S. Supreme Court justices, or prophets. The  small talk of great men and women is worthwhile.   We discover so many wonders when walking carefully  through another’s garden, not by crashing into it   with a Mack truck. Tenderness is usually better  than trapping, so far as learning about another   is concerned. These insights have given me  pause when I see so much of modern journalism   searching for sensation—a search which can be  addictive to journalists as well as to audiences. Conversation is a dying art that may go  underground—not because it is afraid of light,   but because, in certain conversations,  confidentiality and mutuality go in tandem.   What I call “drop the hanky” reporters, who are  still a minority, are too often in the service   of accusatory patriotism, which can condition  citizens to become eager to believe the worst,   whereas “pure charity is never glad,”  Paul wrote, “when others go wrong.” About twenty-two years ago, the late  Senator Joseph McCarthy was finally   condemned by his colleagues. I was involved in  a peripheral way in that episode. I remember,   after the votes were taken, that McCarthy went  off the Senate floor into a small room with   three or four reporters. I went in to watch  the final scene. The reporters, who had over   the months disagreed with him, in some ways  still liked him. In their final exchanges in   that room I saw how symbiotic sensationalism  can be. McCarthy had been good copy, and now   it was over. Some commentators concluded that  erring politicians get their just due, that “time   wounds all heels.” But I saw, too, the realities  that crucial causes often fall into the hands of   those least able to champion them effectively and  also that the media use people—sometimes cruelly. While recognition is a basic human need  and is important in the public service,   there are those who do too many things to be seen  of men. I had the privilege of seeing this on a   grand scale in the U.S. Senate, where there is  normally an imbalance between the show horses and   the work horses. I can vividly remember standing  next to Lyndon Johnson, then majority leader, one   day in a Senate chamber anteroom as we  both read the ticker tape with a news   story about a major bill coming out of a Senate  committee after months of labor. One senator,   who had not been attending the sessions while  the hearings were being held and the tedious   testimony was being taken, had managed,  nevertheless, to show up the very day   the bill was reported out of committee to take  his bows before waiting TV cameras. He was one   of those senators who would show up for the  opening of an envelope. The man at my side,   later to become president, profaned in his disgust  for the show horse senator, declaring that the   show horse senator was also a lazy liberal who let  other liberals do the work while he took the bows. So often in human affairs I have learned  the many depend upon the few to lead,   to set the pace, to show the way,  to deal with the detail. It was so,   even in the inspired sessions of the  Constitutional Convention of 1787.   I’m grateful to have received, in diverse  ways, that insight while yet in my twenties. Some modest adventures of various kinds into the  world of public service have helped me to see,   too, that the shaping of choices in the political  process is at least as important as choosing among   the choices. In electoral ecology, there is  a greater impact and influence at the front   end of the process than in the voting booth, as  sacred and special as the latter is. The voting   booth is very democratic, but the shaping  of the alternatives is aristocratic; it is   work that is done by a few. I’ve been struck over  and over again in my experiences with government   and politics, modest as they are, by the Lord’s  counsel that honest, wise, and good individuals   “should be sought for diligently” and that  such individuals we should “observe to uphold.”  Ponder those words. Seeking out special  individuals implies that the special   individuals needed may not be those who are  first in line as eager volunteers. Along   with the search for good candidates is the  requirement that we thereafter uphold such   while in office. Too many prospective candidates  are rightly wary of being abandoned by friends   after they have filed or after being elected.  It is all so much more than going into the   little voting booth and being sixty-second  citizens. Lazy citizens who then complain   about the choices confronting them are like  those who ask not to be disturbed until time   for dinner and then sit down to a spare meal  and complain about the menu—when they have   consistently refused to plant, cultivate, and  harvest the garden from which the meal comes. Public service has also helped me to appreciate  my many non-LDS friends, whom I have found,   on the whole, to be caring and thoughtful  individuals. They are able to understand   when we must differ without jeopardizing what  we have in common, which is so very much. My   non-member friends have so often met me  more than halfway in our common causes. I do believe the gospel gives us some insights  which are not easy to transmit, such as how   vitally appropriate early life experiences are and  their impact on society’s institutions later on.   We know that it is the family wherein all those  virtues on which society depends are first and   best developed: for instance, self-restraint,  the commitment to work, doing one’s share,   compassion for others. Like it or not, society and  the state will mirror our homes. Adolf Hitler’s   early life experiences may have impacted more on  Germany than the Weimar Republic’s constitution. In any event, possessed of such insights, we  Latter-day Saints are often responded to a little   like John the Baptist. Minus such fundamental  insights, I fear that, as conditions worsen, many   will react to the failures of too much government  by calling for even more government. Then there   will be more and more lifeboats launched because  fewer and fewer citizens know how to swim. Unlike   some pendulums, political pendulums do not  swing back automatically; they must be pushed.   History is full of instances when people have  waited in vain for pendulums to swing back. A little experience with federal and  state bureaucracies has taught me that   such bureaucracies are inhabited  by basically good civil servants,   onto whom voters have pushed too much power  for their good or ours. What we unwittingly   court in such circumstances is learning  again, painfully, that “almost all” men   can’t handle authority without abusing  it. Whether or not the American people,   regardless of party, can tame their governments  is yet to be determined, but sunset laws alone   will not do it. If citizen appetites, once  aroused, merely look to a new agency to do   what a disestablished agency once did, it won’t  be enough. Addicts can always find new pushers. In one of those illuminating but sad stories that  would be funny if it had not involved something   terribly important, Peter Druecker tells us  that the czar of Russia in 1914 had ordered   a general mobilization to fight the Germans,  but then he had second thoughts about it. The   czar called in his chief of staff and asked him  to halt the mobilization. The general answered,   “Your Majesty, this is impossible. There is no  plan for calling off the mobilization once it is   started.” Perhaps World War I might not have been  any different regardless of what the Russians did,   but the sweeping events flowing out  of the collapse on the Russian front,   paving the way for the rise of Bolshevism, deserve  to be pondered in the context of that stupid,   bureaucratic rigidity. I remember all too well  a brief experience in one federal department   when it reached a point in our little shop  that the methodology of filing came out by   directive and assumed a preeminence over our  primary task. This trend was symbolically   accompanied by the domesticating appearance  of sweet potato foliage on the desk (which   was accompanied by my disappearance from  that department in search of better tasks). Yet we need some institutionalization, even  in the kingdom. Random goodness is, by itself,   not enough to resist the march of evil, which  takes its victims without pity or remorse. How   many of the tens of thousands who went to help  victims of the flood would have made their way   individually to southeastern Idaho to help without  the Church’s organization of that concern? I am   grateful that God has so organized us and that  he has given us specific things to do. Otherwise,   we would be like the lonely sharp-shooters trying  to slow the advancing army of evil. Sharp-shooters   can delay the enemy heroically, but such solitary  souls are not the way in which counterattacks   are mounted. Counterattacks must be expressed  institutionally, as in the case of The Church   of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Concerning  this need, the Lord has given us an immense clue   in an analogy when he said, “But first let my army  become very great, and let it be sanctified before   me . . . That the kingdoms of this world may  be constrained to acknowledge that the kingdom   of Zion is in very deed the kingdom of our God and  his Christ.” Such remarkable recognition, brothers   and sisters, will come in a time of stunning  contrasts. It was President Brigham Young who said   that it was revealed to him in the commencement of  this Church that, as it grew and extended into the   nations of the world, so also would the power of  the adversary rise—cheek by jowl, wheat by tares. To wonder if our faith is strong enough for such  remarkable developments is natural. The father   of Elder Bruce R. McConkie, President Oscar  W. McConkie, Sr., in a situation of stress   years ago prayed for adequacy. He prayed that he  would be able to carry out his heavy assignment   and that he could be given the faith of Enoch.  The answer to his prayer was Enoch’s faith came   through personal righteousness. There is a great  lesson, brothers and sisters, in that response,   which is consistent, of course, with the words  in section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants, in   which we are reminded that we cannot control  the powers of heaven except upon the principles   of righteousness. If you and I want to be more  effective, we must be more righteous. If we want   to have more faith, we must be more righteous,  and we might just as well face that reality. In a time when increasing numbers of  our fellowmen are wrongly concluding,   but nevertheless concluding, that man is alone in  the universe, there is a cosmic chill settling in,   an astral aloneness that seems to be  about and in the hearts of so many,   for which the truths of the gospel are the only  real remedy. The hungry of the world are reaching   out for these truths, even when you and I present  them fumblingly and live them less than perfectly. In addition to this yearning for identity and  belonging, we see about us also a yearning for   freedom taking its familiar forms—political  and economic. But we also see more and more   individuals who sense that the freedom they  desire involves more than a new constitutional   caress. Thoughtful souls see that something  even deeper is involved. So many have erred,   thinking that freedom, included both freedom to  obey or not to obey eternal laws and, wrongly,   that it included freedom to change those  laws. Not so. Ultimately, freedom involves   choice between eternal alternatives, but  not the altering of the alternatives. We   can choose wickedness or happiness, but not  wickedness with happiness. A confused Cain,   a vain Cain, not only murdered his brother  while they conversed together in the field,   but also gloried in the murder of Abel, when  Cain said (probably shouted), “I am free.” So often violence creates the illusion  of freedom or possession. So often sin   creates a momentary illusion which those  involved are taken in by. I’ve never been   able to erase from my mind the boasting words of  army buddies following their night of adultery,   which I heard while trying to go back to sleep  on an army cot no farther away from here than   Camp Williams. I saw the shame of several  of those same men in the days and weeks that   followed. It seemed to me then, as it does now,  that the raucousness and the shouting of sin,   the Cain-like glorying in it, is also  the sound of pain trying to erase itself. I have found, too, that it is better to  trust and sometimes be disappointed than   to be forever mistrusting and be right  occasionally. This is to endorse empathy,   not naivete. Neither is this to suggest  that our fellowship be flaccid. The   finest of friends must sometimes be stern  sentinels, who will insist that we become   what we have the power to become. The “no” of  such stern sentinels is more to be prized than   a “yes” of others. God’s seeming sternness is  actually a sweetness beyond our comprehension. Petitioning in prayer has taught me that  the vault of heaven, with all its blessings,   is to be opened only by a combination lock:  one tumbler falls when there is faith,   a second when there is personal righteousness,  and the third, and final tumbler falls only when   what is sought is (in God’s judgment, not  ours) “right” for us. Sometimes we pound   on the vault door for something we want very  much, in faith, in reasonable righteousness,   and wonder why the door does not open. We would  be very spoiled children if that vault door opened   any more easily than it does now. I can tell,  looking back, that God truly loves me by the   petitions that, in his perfect wisdom and love,  he has refused to grant me. Our rejected petitions   tell us not only much about ourselves,  but also much about our flawless Father. You have been patient with my reminiscences and  with this very partial inventory. May I suggest   you try not only counting your blessings, but also  inventorying your insights from time to time. It   “will surprise you what the Lord has done” in  teaching you things you so much need to know.   Nourish your spirits, brothers and sisters. Your  spirit can drive your body and your mind beyond   the borders now known to you. I vividly remember  first reading the lines that went as follows:   “Over a hundred years ago a sailor walked down  the streets of Portsmouth, with one arm and one   eye and a persistent state of nerves, and unable  to tread a ship’s deck without being seasick.”   Indeed, this man would have probably given  up except his name was Admiral Lord Nelson. Now, brothers and sisters, the spirit not only  can drive the body beyond where the body first   agrees to go; the spirit can enlarge our  minds beyond borders we think are fixed,   which are not really fixed, but which are movable. May God bless us to cherish the insights he  has given us and to live in such a way that   new insights can flow to us. As we count our  blessings, let us inventory our insights also,   and, in appropriate ways, share with others  where they may be helpful. I witness to you,   as I have so many times before and which I  always do gladly, that The Church of Jesus   Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Church  of Jesus Christ. It is a living Church,   not a dying Church. It is built upon, not partial  truths, but the wholeness of truth as God has   given it to us. May He help us, individually, to  rise to that discipleship which is so needed. The   time will come in the lifetime of many here when  the people of the world will acknowledge that The   Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is, in  fact, the kingdom of our God and His Christ—just   what we have said all along it is. What high  promises, what soul-stretching experiences await   us! May we so live in order that we will not  only witness these events, but also accelerate   their completion and fulfillment, I  pray in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
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Channel: BYU Speeches
Views: 61,628
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Keywords: BYU Speeches, BYU Devotionals, neal a maxwell, mormon apostle
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Length: 36min 58sec (2218 seconds)
Published: Thu Mar 09 2017
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