Now, people do ask us how we earn our living. It's very expensive of course keeping an orchestra
like this. We have a number of sources: Arts Council
of course, British Council. Also summer work: clubbing seals in Norway. The other thing we do - we write film and
TV music. Now you probably know the different types
of film and TV so there's obviously different types of film and TV music to go with it. One of the things we specialize in is 'Cute
animals' music like this. 'Cute animals' has a kind of jingley jangly
ukulele sound. Let's take it away. Always this. Cat videos. I hate cats but I love cat videos on Facebook. Who's got a cat in their house? Your house stinks. So, it's cat videos and yeah the music is
playing away like that. And it might not be cats in the house, it
might be stray cats you know. Not in China obviously. Stray cats you get them in restaurants mainly. But then when the cats fall over doing something
funny you would get a little run on the gockenspiel. Sounds like this: Ahhh. Sweet... or sour... ...depending on how you like your cat. Now, 'News' - newsy music that's got an exciting
feel. A kind of announcement fanfare feel. Sounds like this: [MUSIC] Yeah, you've got an important announcement
to make. "Mum, Dad, I've got something to tell you... [MUSIC] I voted LibDem!" Yea, okay, so there's that. Then you get a 'Horror' movie. 'Horror' has this kind of spooky horror sound
to it. This is 'what's behind the cupboard' type
thing. And then you get kind of stabby-type horror
music sounds like this [MUSIC] Yeah? You normally conduct that like this, basically. Okay. So, then you get horror and then you get 'Romantic'
music. You know sweet slushy type stuff. Now, in romance music you can't just play
a note straight. Like, here's a note. This note. [SINGLE VIOLIN NOTE] You can't just play that note. In romantic you have to kind of do a run-up
to it like Willemijn will now do. [RUN THEN NOTE] That's romance. Now, if you use that trick you can make anything
romantic. The boys here can do a fantastic ambulance
sound. Let's have an ambulance: [AMBULANCE EFFECT] Now who made a speciality of romantic ambulance
music? Tchaikovsky. We'll do it. [MUSIC] Now then, you get 'Action' movie you know. Who likes action movies? James Bond. Anybody like action movies? Anybody about their house before this evening? Any action movie fans? Action movies. One thing you've got to have in action movies
- you've got to have driving strings like this [MUSIC] Driving strings. And you've also got to have a big chunky brass
sounds, which is known in the trade as 'braaams'. 'Braaams' go like this: [MUSIC] That's 'braaams'. If you put those two things together, you
get James Bond. [MUSIC] You can also make anything like that exciting. 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' with 'braaams'
and James Bond stuff. Here we go. [MUSIC] Now 'Westerns'. You don't see those too much any more. But Westerns. Out in the West they haven't got instruments,
they can only whistle. So there is a lot of whistling in Westerns. [WHISTLES] That. You also get animals you do not get anywhere
else, like snakes. Now, we haven't got a rattlesnake here but
we've got a rattlesnakes simulator in the form of Steven. So, we'll do our Western music and you can
see the sort of thing I mean. Here we go. [MUSIC] Now, you know what they say about film music:
"if it's any good you don't notice it". Well, to hell with that. We want our music to be noticed so we're going
to do those six styles for you now but, do you know what, we're going to play those six styles
against the WRONG movie. So, the first style we are going to start
off with is 'Cute Animal' music played against 'Horror Movies'. You'll see it on the screen. Let's try it [MUSIC] Next one - 'News' style but with a 'Western'
movie. We have a bit of a commentary going to this. Let's try it. Here we go [MUSIC] COMMENTARY: These are the headlines and this is Rainer
Hersch reading them Fire in warehouse deliberate say police. Queen opens Parliament. House of Commons debate continues. More misery for rail users and tougher fines
for drivers caught using their phones. Those are your headlines. Weather: cloudy. Okay, next one is 'Horror' music but with
'News' footage. Right let's try that. Here we go. [MUSIC] Total respect for Donald Trump and for Donald Trump's
very, very large brain... 'Romance' right. Romancy music but against an 'Action' movie. Let's try this one. [MUSIC] 'Action' but with 'Cute animals': [MUSIC] And finally, our 'Western' music but with
a 'Romance' movie. What are the chances? [MUSIC] [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] Any kids in the audience? Mummy and daddy are gonna have some explaining
to do.
