but he never invites us to his show. -No. -So today, Sal, we're gonna make you
do it for us instead. Except we want you
to absolutely bomb. -Oh, my God.
-We brought you to the Advanced Learning
Institute Conference, buddy. Serious business people
from all over the country converge here
for this conference. 2:00 P.M. at a business
conference, yeah, they're ready for me
right now. Bring out the guy
in a fish tie. Sal, you have to
absolutely bomb. Oh, God. Look. I think they call
that flop sweat, buddy. You haven't even flopped yet. We have done a lot of business
talk these last few days. This is the end of a three-day technology conference. Probably the worst place you can go up there
and try and do stand-up. People
just want to go home. This is every comic's nightmare. This is every person's nightmare. Now, you all know we tour
as the Impractical Jokers. Sal also does stand-up
on his own. He loves it.
It's his number-one passion. Passion. He's actually
living that dream now, and now living
that nightmare. Please welcome Sal Vulcano. Murr: Here we go. Do not be funny. I know it's hard,
but you can't be funny. Hey. Is this on?
-We hear you. Oh, you hear me? Okay. Uh, how's everybody doing? -Good. Okay, Sal, bomb. Uh, I heard you guys
were here for a conference? You guys here
for business? -Yes.
-What kind of business? Funny business? [ Light laughter ] [ Laughter ] That was actually
too funny, Sal. I would like you
to rein that in. I -- The funny thing
about a conference call... The funny thing about
a conference call... ...is that you can't see
the people on the other line. ...is that you can't see
the people on the other line. 'Cause
when you have meetings, it's probably much more
effective communicating. Ba-dum-tss. [ Laughter ] Riff about marriage
a little bit. Oh, man, I'm divorced. Uh, women be shopping. [ Light laughter ] [ Laughter ] The laughter's
getting awkward now. Mm, boy.
All right. Now talk about your family. Uh, I have three siblings. Tough growing up
with three sisters. Tough getting some bathroom time. All right.
-Oh, they're starting to turn. You guys, uh -- Never get to punch lines. So, you know,
a lot of people think that, you know, women are bad drivers. I'm here to tell you
they're not. [ Laughter ] All right, so -- Murr:
Here's Arnold Schwarzenegger finding an onion ring
in his fries. Here's Arnold Schwarzenegger finding an onion ring
in his fries. [ As Arnold Schwarzenegger ]
What is this? I did not want an onion ring. I wanted fries. [ Laughter ] Murr:
Look at the faces in the room. [ Laught in the room. s -Oh.
-Dude. So... Sal, is it getting hot in there?
Take your jacket off. Yeah, take your jacket off,
bud. We put Sal's outfit together today. There's his suspenders,
there's his suspenders. Where are my single
booze bags at? Where are my single
booze bags at? Nobody?
Just me. [ Laughter ] All right, I just got
about 22 minutes left, just trying to fill
the time here. All right. -Wow. -Oh, my skin is crawling. This went great.
All right, thank you. Asians, right? Asians, am I right? I love Asians.
I have an Asian wife. I lied -- I do have a wife. Got all of you. I got all of you on that. I just dropped a bomb on you. Well, literally and figuratively, all right. Just get out of there.
You've had enough. Okay, bye. [ Laughter ] Thanks a lot, guys.
Appreciate it. Everything's gonna be okay. That was bad.
Love this show, it makes me happy whenever I watch it.
That is so cringe. Horrible punishment. Or good, depending how you look at it.
This, the bingo punishment, and the cell phone punishment are all top tier. Sal just can't handle awkwardness.
so bad itsss gooooooood