Hi everybody All: Hi. My name is James Murray. I'm here to talk to you
about my career. What is it?
Good question. Let's take a look
at the screen. Let's take a look at the screen. Narrator: When you wake up to
a loved one dead on the couch, what do you do with the body? Turn to James S. Murray for
all your pet cremation needs. He'll even do turtles, burning the body
in an 1,800-degree oven and grinding shell and bone
into a fine dust. Man: Cowabunga, dude! Narrator: Also, if you are
over the age of 65 and seeking a divorce, James S. Murray will get you
the justice you deserve. ♪ For pet cremation ♪ ♪ Grandparent divorce ♪ ♪ Call James S. Murray,
of course ♪ ♪ La la la la ♪ Please call now. [ Laughter ] Murr: That's what I do. [ Laughter ] [ Laughing ] I cremate pets, and I help grandparents
get divorced. Who here has pets? [ Laughter ] Who here
has grandparents? Oh. Jackpot! [ Laughter ] Get one
of their pets' names. Who has a pet?
Okay. What's your pet's name? Royal?
Royal, the dog. How old is Royal?
6, okay. -Getting up there!
-Getting up there! He's getting up there. [ Laughter ] How big is he? Is he a small dog
or a pretty big dog? Royal will be cremated
in about 30 minutes. Royal,
since he's a small dog, it -- oh. [ Laughter ] It'll be pretty easy
to cremate Royal, 'cause he's a tiny dog, so that'll only take
like 20, 30 minutes, at most. [ Laughter ] Does anyone know
what divorce is? [ Chuckles nervously ] Does anyone know
what divorce is? -I do!
-Yes, you do? What is -- what is divorce? Or grandparents.
'Cause that's what I do. [ Laughing ] I only cater to
grandparents who are unhappy. Okay. So now just pull off
that tablecloth there. Oh, my God. And have at it. So, these are urns. So when your pet dies... Oh, my God.
There's actually ashes. [ Chuckles ] When your pet dies,
we give you these jars -- these collectible jars --
with ash in it. Now, does anybody know
what the ash is? Does anybody know
what the ash is? [ Camille Saint-Saens'
"Danse Macabre" plays ] No, see, see,
it's not the bones, but -- These are the bones. [ Children gasp ] -And as a reminder...
-As a reminder... ...if any of your grandparents
are unhappily married... ...if any of your grandparents
are unhappily married, I do that, too. [ Laughter ] Yes, you have a question. Why would you want to help somebody's grandparents
get divorced? [ Laughter ] People make mistakes, right? And, plus,
I gots to make ends. Plus, I gots to make ends. You know,
and some people would say marriage
is a social construct. And some people would say that
marriage is a social construct. It's not really -- Monogamy's a sham. [ Laughter ] Who wants to see a major step
in the cremation process? Who wants to see one of the major steps
of the cremation process? -Me!
-Do you want to try? Come on up, buddy.
Come on. We may have gone too far
with this one. This is a sifter. This is called a sifter. It sorts the ashes
from everything else. Now here --
you hold this over the bin. Take a little silver urn,
unscrew it. And now sift it slowly. There you go.
Good job, buddy. -What's in the sifter?
-A little surprise in there. What's in the sifter?
What's left over? Oh. Oh, no. It's --
it's the pet's collar. [ Children gasp ] [ Laughter ] Look at him!
Look at the kid. [ "Danse Macabre" continues ] The whole room's
going nuts. And we give this to the owner,
and they keep it as a memento. Sal: [ Laughing ] Look at the kid's face.
