Impostor Syndrome: I'm a Bad Software Developer

it's a beautiful day here in Virginia Beach to be honest with you whether you believe it or not they actually forecasted for snow today no snow instead we just get this really cold rain fun fact the more you get closer to the ocean the less likely to snow however it is snowing inland I wanted to go about four hours in to that leash mountain sand go snowboarding today that every single person I asked to go snowboarding with me had other things to do such as life you know when you're an adult people thinking they have responsibilities and whatnot can't just pick up and go snowboarding for the day that'll keep my the hair out of my face alright so here we have it to be completely honest with you this is not the box it came in it came in a bag but I throw away the bag when I got earlier this week and then just pretended to pick it back up for the camera so this is a shipment that I ordered a couple weeks ago from banggood I think it's called calm the website is not what you think it is it is a electronic component website that you can get stuff for really cheap for example here we have a we most d1 mini a sorry less breadboard and a bunch of wiring oh and not to mention the LCD screen but you can't really see that just yet not too long ago I saw this clock this serves as a clock and it can also serve as a youtube subscriber counter meaning if I set it up for my channel it would tell me my exact subscriber count right now on the counter and instead of paying $200 for that I decided to order this for like 20 some odd dollars and build one myself I looked into the Arduino and whatnot but that's a little bit too much for what I need in terms of the capabilities plus the price this hopefully will do what I needed to do but for now it's going back in the box that will be the next episode or the episode after that if you didn't know this is episode two of my series which is essentially documenting everything going on it tells the 19 that I feel is video worthy and I think y'all will find this project to be very interesting but for now we're gonna keep it right there to be completely honest with you and I hate to say this on the very first like episode of the series that isn't the introduction of the series I did a very poor job of documenting this past week today is Sunday but this is a Sunday before the Tuesday that this video goes out and the main reason I'm telling you this is because it brings me back to work as you know at work I don't really film anything mainly because I don't own the software so I can't be showing you the code but right now it's very interesting time because I'm transitioning from working on a lot of the in-house projects in some of these side projects that are coming in to a full-time contract I am full time working there mind you but there's a different contract that I'll be hopping on where instead of doing a lot of web development work and a lot of experimentation with different technologies I'll be doing a lot of Java work getting back to my roots and actually what I'm when I'm actually decent in so I'm pretty excited to get into the whole Java route of things instead of doing this whole web development stuff that I've been doing for the past few months and this past week being one of the more hectic ones it's funny I was talking about in my previous video of this series about how this is one of my first year or actually have a consistent schedule and the very first what I like to call real week of 2019 it was anything but consistent I'll get to work it didn't really matter what time I got to work because I think three or four of the days this past week I didn't get home until like 7 p.m. because I was just working there's a site that I was working on that had a deadline this past week so there wasn't a lot of development work outside of real work like I wanted to get done so that's kind of why I didn't document a lot of what was going on because most of it was at work and y'all are gonna love this let me um let me type in my password here a lot of people for some reason get upset because I look at my keyboard when I type in my password I don't understand the only thing I'd be able to look at on a screen or a bunch of dots and there's no point in me looking at the dots going like this instead I can make sure I get it right the first time and just look at the keyboard I don't see the big deal I think those people are suffering from something called dunning-kruger effect but that's neither here nor there today we're gonna be talking about impostor syndrome I don't know a single person who hasn't suffered from impostor syndrome as a software developer if you don't know what impostor syndrome mean it's essentially you get stuck in your mind like I'm not good enough for this job look at all these other people and for me it always happens when the transition period so when I first got into college was one of them and I would look at all these people and think how did they already know how to code like I feel like everyone was coding from the womb and me I'm sitting here at 18 19 years old and I'm coding essentially for the first time but then once I started to program and kind of blocked out everyone else or maybe even try to get help from other people I realized that we're kind of on the same level you know I tried to get up and I was able to do some of the work and they were able to do some of the work and I felt at least competent in coding some of those early pieces of work however the next time I encountered imposter syndrome was when I was applying for internship positions there would be all of these positions that had all these different skills laid out and I'm trying to figure out how in the world is someone with two years of computer science degree experience not like real world of coding every single day experience but college experience supposed to know ten languages and supposed to have this type of experience and know way more than any normal student would know even coming out of college just for an internship and I really was just nervous about that but I ended up applying either way and in all honesty a lot of those job requirements on that were just fluff I don't know why they do it but half the things listed I just didn't even do ever didn't even touch and then the next transition period was from college into the workforce see for me I felt my resume was on point I had some good internships under my belt and then once I started this job I was going to have a computer science degree but even then plus I actually worked on my own iOS applications I had a few of those under my belt by the time I went into this and although I wasn't applying to iOS development jobs because there aren't many around where I live I still felt that that would add value but I still was like facing like I'm not good enough like I feel like everyone else is way better and they would be more qualified because all of these things listed I still feel like college and all my side work my internships didn't prepare me for this I thought people wanted workers to come in and just be able to type everything and boom that's what they got but in reality at least in my situation I was able to go into my job in the first few months and even now still is kind of like a mentorship I don't know if that is what it's like at every company but since I'm working at a start-up and my boss is amazing I in a really good position where they don't expect me to come in and just be this expert level programmer they understand this is my first year and the real job workforce so if you're worried about all of these little different transition periods just try to find something that will fit you try to find something where the people understand that you're not going to be this 5-10 year experience level developer you're gonna be first real job at full time in the workforce you may have had like me a whole years worth of internship experience in the workforce but that's not the same or maybe it is and you're still worried about going into the workforce just know that I'm actually kind of facing a Posterous edge right now although Java is my thing and I've been bringing up my github account I actually meant to bring up Exorcism as well I've been working on Java I showed you in a recent video yeah I don't know how the exposures doing on camera there let me correct this but I did a lot of work on my java track on exorcism where I did a lot of these different types of Java Java programs this one has to do with dates integers and time games loops pattern matching strings images loops a bitwise operation of conditionals cryptography so on and so forth that's really what I've been working on because I feel like I'm not going to be prepared coming into this working in a team and being able to pull my weight I'm really trying the best I can in order to pull my weight once I get into this which would be in the next week I think it would be full time like on this particular contract and I'm just going through it again so just know that you may be going through it just like me when you enter college just like me when you got your first internship first job so on and so forth I'm just about a year in maybe maybe more like eight eight months in and I'm still kind of feeling that and it's kind of sucks and putters and posture syndrome is just not fun you just feel like you're a bad developer and if you stumbled across this video because you thought I was going to essentially tell you how to get over the hump of imposter syndrome I don't I can't I in order to get over the hump I just I just did it I just went through it I don't even know if I got over the hump I just kind of tried to get in the groove of the job because I'm still facing it today if I know how to get over the hump then I wouldn't be facing it right now right so essentially it's just move forward if there are jobs out there that you will try to apply for and you see all these requirements just apply I've given plenty of tips when it comes to how to go about applying to different internships and jobs just use that as long as nothing on your resume is is lying just make sure you essentially cater your particular resume to that job listing if you have a basic knowledge of some of the things that they're listing on the resume then the list that I mean listening on the job listing then list that on your resume that's my best advice for it I just I don't know how to get over the hump that is a posture syndrome because I'm still facing it today and that's that just know you're not alone okay just know you're not alone because everyone goes through it and before anyone tries to call me out I just want to show you something real quick and the reasoning why this graphics card back here isn't in the proper slot it's supposed to have the little black piece similar to this right here over the prongs there but it kind of broke off which is why it's sitting in this one back here see that's what it supposed to look like that's what it does look like so that's where it sits I've actually reached out to a hardware company or two trying to see if they wanted a sponsor a video so I could finally upgrade this four to five year old PC to put in perspective this is a fourth generation intel core processor inside there and that was the new one when I built this thing and right now we're sitting at in ninth generation so what is that four to five years old PC it still does what it needs to do but it could do it better that's kind of why I'm trying to get an upgrade of the PC I know I will get one by the end of the year whether I buy it or not I just can't buy one right now too cheap for that and apparently I'm too cheap to record an outro as you can see I'm at in my video right here and I just realized I didn't record now Charles thinking I was gonna record some today for this video but instead I record something today for next week's video next week Studios are gonna be sick like I have a lot in store so just make sure you subscribe if you haven't already I hope you found some something useful out of this video just know that impostor syndrome if you're facing if you feel like you're not good enough know that you're not alone and just get better and try to prepare for whatever you have kind of coming up in your career so hope you guys enjoyed this video 10x I'm going peace

Channel: ForrestKnight

Views: 92,622

Keywords: impostor syndrome, bad software developer, bad software engineer, software developer vlog, software engineer vlog, im a bad software developer, bad at coding, software developer, software development, computer science

Id: Qc5C90Ndx0I

Length: 12min 44sec (764 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 16 2019