"33 Ways Your Boyfriend Is Micro-Cheating (And Totally Getting Away With It)" *DRAMATIC MUSIC* OHHHHHHOOOHHHHHHHOOOO Have you been cheating on me?! Huffington Post what have you been DOUGHING?! What is this?! I wanna see how much you've cheated on me. NO Huffington Post how could you do this?! I wanna read it I trusted you, dammit Pewds: Am I sweating? Marzia: Oh my god! I-I feel like I'm sweating a little bit *DING* *Marzia reads on screen* What is "bantering"? *...* You don't really reach out to girls for advice YEAHHH! You hear that?!! We are good here I don't reach out to women Okay so I'm fine for now? Yeah P: whew! M:Wait there is 33 right? Just 32 more to go *DING* *Pewds reads on screen* Yeah - no you never give a tip to anyone so THAT'S RIGHT I NEVER GIVE A TIP TO ANYONE Waddup Let's see Melanie what you got next P: Is that who wrote it or..? M: It says Melanie Oh, Melanie Berliet I think the real title of this should really just be - 33 Ways .. I am ... M : Insecure?
P : Insecure About my boyfriend And totally getting away with it... M : Hmmm ... *DING* *Marzia reads on screen* *Hufft ...* I mean, I only know that you follow Taylor Swift... I .. I unfollowed her. YEAH! I PASSED! Oh yeah, I remember when they hacked her and it came out that you guys were texting. On twitter And then you were like "Marzia have to tell you, that I've been - NUMBA FOUR! *Dramatic Music* *Pewds reads on screen* Oh yeah, but like, does any of these guy do it... like, that's just weird P : Who are you dating Melanie?
M : Yeah, exactly. That's the real question here... *DING* P : Wait, this one is good... *Pewds reads on screen* Oh, so if you name someone their, not their name M: Yeah P: You are using code. P: To make sure that they don't find out about it. M: So wait- So for example, if you had Taylor Swift as a private contact *Pewds cuts off Marzia* And I her as Tay Sway That would be a code Wow... You should have really been worried if I did that Oh yeah, for sure... omg just let me double check on that *DING* *Marzia reads on screen* This is such subtle things! WHO GIVES A SHIT?! I mean I haven't done it, but who cares?! WHO THE HELL CARES?! *DING* *Pewds reads on screen* *Cringe in it's final form* *DING* *Marzia reads on screen* Oh no... What does that mean?! It's if like, you know, when you ate too much hot sauce... And you can home and you were worried that I was gonna get mad? Oh yeah, you, I was so scared. It was half of the pain in my body. *Marzia Laughs* So maybe if you went to another girl an be like "What can I do?!" To feel better, instead of asking me. You know Melanie *thud* you're damn right about that one You get that one. You should confide in your girlfriend. Yeah Jump high-five? *slapping noise* *Marzia laughs* nailed it, okay great *DING* *Pewds reads on screen* WHAT?! First of all, how do you come up with 33? It's so many things. How do you think of all these things? She must be really holding a grudge on someone, like thinking... yeah "MY EX-BOYFRIEND DID THIS!" yeah "HE DID THAT, AS WELL!" *ominous music* And she just writing them and mailing these to him. If it was like a friend of ours, like, if it's Emma or Sophie And you say something nice to them. Really, cool. But, I think its just strange if its someone you haven't met... M: And you say that to someone P: I'm guilty *muffled* spank me spank me. NO! nononono! *spanking noise* ah! ow! That's on my tail! *DING* *Pewds reads on screen* Ooo that's bad I get that one Oh, Melanie you got a point over here yeah I find it really annoying when people do this. P: Like, dude, your not fooling anyone. I know, I know what you're doing. M: uh huh P: I know what your doing here and let me tell you. Even if you were single, no one wants your ugly ass. M: wow alright *DING* *Marzia reads on screen* M: Co...cohabi...bi...t..P: COHABITING It's not that serious That's what I say to my parents... when we.... Do your parents ask about us? Yeah, I was like "Nah, we're not that serious," *Marzia laughs* - We've only been together for like 5... P: 6 years, 5-6 years M: yeah "It's just a little thing we got going." *DING* *Pewds reads on screen* *INTENSE MUSIC* OHHHH! NO! UGH! Why was that a bad thing? OHMahGOD! Why is that a bad thing? NO! Have you ever texted anyone "good morning" Marzia? Why is that... Have you ever texted any one "good morning"? I'm afraid I have... P:NOO! *Marzia laughs* I'm sorry. I'm cheating on you... UGHHHHHH! What the hell, you're, really, you're reaching for it now. Like... What's wrong about "good morning"? Sometimes you know, I just wanna write, maybe... Like Nicole or my friends in Italy that I don't get to see that often. M: That's how you start a conversation. P:Yeah M: yeh disgusting *DING* *Marzia reading text* So like if you send a picture (P: WoaH!) of your ex-girlfriend? P: Woah! Woah! Nonono M:Woahwoah wha? P: *heavily* HUH M: What are you reading? M: Unnecessarily!! P: OHHH MYGODD! M: so basically- P: HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT MARziaa.. I would Never sink that Low M: I'm sorry... I would, NEVER say nice to meet you to ANYONE M: so you're just P: ANYONE!! *distorted audio* DisGUSTING! P: WHEW... M: But like this girl is basically saying that this boyfriend has to be rude to every, girl, out there. right? M: So she can feel e- P: I can agree P: You know. I don't want to completely bash Good old, Melanie Berliet But I..I can- I can agree with some of them... If you make a list with thirty-THREE M: Mmm. P: You got plenty alright, just cut some of them out M: yeah M: Take the top ten. P: How about Top Ten yeah just go for top ten next time M: yeahh... *Ding* P: Going out of his way to do something nice for someone who's not his girlfriend. You- So basi- you can, you can not have... any...Friends, M: yeah. Basically, yeah P: From the other gender. (M: yeah yeah yeah) At all. P: You're not, that's not- allowed. Just treat all women bad... M: yeah exactly *Pewds laughs M: And it's coming, from a woman. P: And put me... M: It's kinda ridiculous but... P: Put me on the throne... and kiss my ass M: yeah I do agree with 17 though. *Marzia reading text* P: That's just a bit weird, yeah. M: If you were like.. P: What does that m- if you tell someone (M: To a girl) that... M: "I'm thinking about you" P: Yeah... M: That's, not- P: Yeah... That's kind of M: I do agree with that one So we got 2 that- *inaudible* P: So that's, that's Micro Cheating! OHH!! 2017 micro cheating M: *mumbling* I don't really see 'micro cheating' P: Micro. *Marzia laughs* If you get at least ten... Ten of- ten of these P: You are- M: It turns into cheating P: It turns into cheating M: Mmm M: Alright, that's why she needed a longer list P: That's why she needed- *both laughing* *Ding* P: Establishing secret code words and, slash or inside jokes with women outside of hi-... the RelationSHIP M: but that's- can just be like a- P: hOW DARE YOU! Have jokes, with other women! M: Yeah P: You having inside jokes, without me? P: Huh? But with Emma *Pewds gasps* She's cheating on me with another woman M: Yeah. *Pewds makes a rough noise* P: Who is this. (M: Definitely.) Who IS THIS EMMA. *Pewds gasps* You know who (P: Em-) Emma is? *giggles* P: Em. Mah M: You're afraid P: Eh- M:That I will run off with her (Oooh...MarziEmma) Is it Emma... Pickles? M: Yeah~ *suspenseful music* M: She looks, Goooooood. That's Micro Cheating! Eh- Yeah~ P: Yeah no have fun with this. M: Hey! *Pewds laughs* M: That's my dream, alright? Wait that's my tears! What are you doing? Salty.... *both laugh* *calm music* P: I had never- I would never micro cheat at you Marzia Yeah. *Pewds sighs* Well, I gotta say, ah... I think, But that's how you know, right? This trust...*inaudible* Pffftttttttt...... M: So cheesy *Marzia laughs* P: I was jus about to say that I don't *inaudible*... I don't know. I think...with other girls Ahah I, you know...w- I've been with other... *Marzia laughs* P: A lot of women M: A lot of women. M: Mmm. It's what you make it. You- If you are with someone that does all this shit. And it bothers you... Don't write an article about it. Just get outta that relationship. M: yeah. How 'bout that? M: Mm-mm. *Dramatic music starts* Who is Susan? *Dramatic Music* P: No- M: It's in Swedish. P: Uh- *dramatic music stops* You wrote..."Nice to meet you." *dramatic music restarts, louder in volume* *dramatic music fades off* *Outro music* *Music stretches out to reach 10 minute Ad revenue*
Pewdiepie is youtubes kanye.