"If Catholic guys knew what women want, they'd have a girlfriend"

hello everyone and welcome to the biblical Bookworm my name is Elizabeth and I've got something special for you today because as you might know a day is approaching that is anticipated by many and dreaded by many others I'm talking about Valentine's Day which is why I brought a guest on my YouTube channel today he is giving Catholic dating advice on Twitter and as he's painfully accurate oftentimes I really wanted to make this video please enjoy hi Chad I'm really glad that you're on my Channel today maybe you'd like to introduce yourself first okay so uh so my name is well my middle name is Chad and that's too good I mean to just not exploit for uh publicity and so my middle name Chad you can all call me Chad this is the internet we don't have to be pricked about oh which name came first in the birth certificate um so uh so I'm Chad I accidentally became a dating Guru for Catholics on Twitter I have no idea how it happened but I'm here to bring the bring what I'm doing on Twitter um maybe help out the YouTube Community I've I've found you on Twitter and for whatever reason that's why I wanted to make this video today maybe we can talk today about the most common misconceptions people have about what Catholics have about their respective opposite sex when dating what's the thing that you see oftentimes for example maybe we can start talking about attractiveness how important is that because as Catholics we should try to avoid vanity but on the other hand we have eyes that we tend to use and so what do you what would you say how important is physical attractiveness in Catholic dating so um this is actually a really fun one um because so everyone basically everybody believes that physical attractiveness is the most important thing um the seculars believe this a Catholics sometimes will say they don't believe it but then for themselves they're like oh I'm not attractive enough so we say that we don't believe it but we secretly do um and there are a lot of things like that but uh it's a one it matters less than you'd think um a uh a painful thing to accept is that you're probably one more attractive than you think um now so everyone's a bit more attractive than they think and slightly less intelligent than they think and so it's like well mixed blessing um so one undoubtedly somewhat more attractive than you think but uh you still might not be conventionally attractive or at least believe that you're conventionally attractive and that doesn't really seem to track um with uh mayor job comes it's like well um plenty of people who would not describe themselves as conventionally attractive are getting married um you see uh couples well you don't walk down the street and then every couple is Arnold Schwarzenegger and I can't remember like a stereotypical actresses very beautiful segment um okay um you didn't walk down the street and then um everyone's either single or if there's a couple holding hands it's like well Arnold and Angelina Jolie it's like that's not the word we live in and so you're like oh I'm not X Y and Z then it won't work um and so um can you work on certain things uh can you uh work out and be healthy and that helps your disposition um it helps your mood um helps you sort of have a nice glow it's like that's all good stuff but we don't actually believe that I'd say that guys oftentimes worry about the wrong things for example um I've seen guys worry about their height and I don't know why that's a it's probably a myth in my opinion that all women want a six feet tall guy and I don't understand why that's a myth out there and because it's certainly not true for every woman and also there's no point in worrying about your height because you can change it things you can change is for example your health and that's a big one you can work on so I'd say that I wouldn't advocate for losing weight um by any terms because I've seen how restrictive eating has destroyed people's lives it can lead to eating disorders so that's not a good thing but try to exercise try to get outside go in the sun in eat healthy and that will automatically make that person more attractive and they don't have to be six feet tall to be more attractive what would you say oh um so it's absolutely that but it's uh even more than that so height is a huge fixation for guys um and so there's some women who care about height and there are some who don't um but uh so both sexes fail at understanding it's like well different people are attracted to different things so get an idea in our head it's like well um if there's somebody who finds height attractive therefore hype is attractive rather than well that's uh one Camp things Heights tracking the other ones want something else um it's a uh we have an idea in our heads of what's attractive and so women do this too it's like oh um my uh my eye color isn't the most attractive and then every eye color whether it's blue green or brown they uh they think it's one of the other ones so they never give themselves the benefit they never think that they're on the winning side of the end-all be-all attractiveness rules and so one nah a self-esteem issues that are expressed through what you imagine is the optimal attractive thing to be um and so people will make up what the beauty standards are or what do the aesthetic standards are or what the human standards are um and uh so so we do this on more superficial things like uh it's an excellent thing to pray Rosary every day your prayers are every day great congratulations good thing um but nobody in the dating Market within Catholicism um more I suppose with outside Catholicism but uh nobody's like oh um if I pray the Rosary every day they don't get a boyfriend it's like well nobody's quite making that leap but they do make the leap of oh if my eyes were a different color um oh if I dressed differently um am I dressing too modestly I'm addressing too immodestly um am I told an F am I too short um we make up things some of which are completely gone under control like hype and then we make them the end all beetle um yeah I totally agree people oftentimes overestimate the impact a certain characteristic has on their overall attractiveness for example another thing I see a lot is guys who worry about not being muscular enough and I've seen a meme somewhere on the internet that lifting gets you guys and not girls because if you lift other guys are impressed and because they think that it gets you girls but in fact it just gets you guys to ask you for advice on how to build muscle so for a woman it's not that attractive I'd say what are other things um people look for other than a physical attractiveness in your opinion oh so the thing um so the thing that a guy really must have is a sense of humor um so if you can't make chicks laugh well work on that um yeah so sense of humor absolutely critical in fact the most critical thing and that's the thing that you can work on it's and then there's a uh like people have the conception that it's like oh I have to make x amount of money for a woman to pay attention to me it's like not within Catholicism um and uh honestly it's overrated even in secular circles it's like no just um be funny and have the confidence to actually talk to women um half the guys I talked to about not having a girlfriend they're um like I don't ask this first because I usually assume but uh shame on me for assuming they haven't actually talked to women they have this idea that oh well the women are over there they're mysterious and different um and incomprehensible and yeah they're simply not they're different but they're not that different you can just walk up and talk to them it's uh they don't shoot you for making eye contact um not even in Texas um and so it's just a talk to them and don't and then the guys who are very good at talking to women will often just talk to them for instrumental reasons um uh you showed me that uh that clip where the guy is like walks up to the girl and then like grabs her hand and checks for a ring and it's like well um you can't and uh you can't be doing that either um just talk to them um so it's almost like uh rule zero the rule that uh you don't know that you need to hear but it's like well women are also people who have interests um and they don't want to be it's like well uh I'm breeding child it's like no um no chick is really into that um it's like walk up and it's like oh I'm I'm afraid it's uh Woodland fairy creature oh no I have to avert my gaze um or breathing trouble and these are both traps that nudes will fall into and then they'll think themselves unworthy as well absolutely agree and another thing I'd like to add this or another thing that guys underestimate how important that is is to develop a certain interest or a skill because in my opinion that makes them more attractive because in our day and age it's not that important that a guy can lift I don't know 300 pounds or something like that but it's more important that he is intellectually for example impressive or that he is capable of navigating in our modern society and strength just doesn't help with that or it doesn't have to be an intellectual skill maybe some some other interest because I think that if a guy shows interest then and he shows that he's capable of keeping that interest for more than six months that shows a sort of loyalty and the chose that he's capable of committing to something and sticking with that what would you say oh absolutely like uh I know a guy who does carpentry occasionally uh and it's a so can you walk up to a woman in public and say hey I do carpentry and then they're like oh cool let's get married like well won't quite work like that but it's a uh but just watching them build a fence um just like oh it's time to build uh rebuild the fence that the wind knocked over because it's a very windy city um like well like yeah you know this is this is impressive um there are all sorts of things to that so if you've been doing something consistently for a year now most guys recognize this in video games but you should be doing it for something other than video games but once you've done something for a year you're pretty good at it um and so you need to have things that you're good at that are impressive it's like oh but doesn't that mean she doesn't love me for me it's like well uh what is the the you um you have to be consistently doing something you have to have yes um you're trying to uh what is yeah without the things that you can or that make you because the same thing that's an observation I've made uh on from the other side as well I've oftentimes women worry that the guy doesn't love her for herself but for her outer appearance but who is she without her appearance like we aren't ghosts we have a body and that body is looked at by other people so um that's a good good one that you brought that up um yeah exactly what is the use trip from everything exterior yeah absolutely it's uh there's a tendency so we've got a tendencies in secularism where one's uh wants to say it's like oh we're only our outer trappings and this is the entire secular setup um this is hookup portrait this is all of that um and then there's uh our tendency as Christians is say well it's just the the things on the inside as well you kind of need but um if you're uh talking to them and talking to somebody you're uh dancing into their inner World we've all got this inner world and then we've got not trying to dichotomize it's not trying to be too Gnostic but we do have this inner life and then we've got our external life and it's like well both have to be interesting and mutually compatible um it's a uh it'd be awkward uh if you were um sorry um if you're an eight foot tall guy dating a five foot tall chick it's like well that's just somewhat in battle um I'm people make it work but uh um but it's a lot and you need something you need uh similar inner lives you need similar things that you can relate to with each other um well also it's a uh well what do you do um if like dudes will complain oh she asked me what I do for work and what I do for work isn't particularly High status it's like well so what um the fact that you're doing something is important it's a part of who you are it's how you spend eight hours a day um this is a facet of view that's not superficial um one thing that I one situation where I think that is especially a parent the importance of both the exterior and the interior is online dating because maybe you've made a similar observation or Catholic match for example people on Catholic match they might have the most beautiful interior life they might be the most holy people but especially the guys aren't able to take good pictures of themselves and that's that's a problem I'd say what's your take on this so uh so I'm a convert and so nobody will be scandalized by the fact that I've used Tinder um so I've used Tinder and then met people in real life from Tinder um and I've used Catholic match then I've seen people who I know in real life on Catholic match and then I've had gal Pals do the same and then scope out the guys I know and So within secularism everyone knows how to take the picture at the right angle and make them look the best so a secularists take pictures that make them look better than they actually are and Catholics it's not just that we take pictures that are accurate because that'd be fine Catholics have evolved a technique to make ourselves look massively massively worse than we do in real life um it's psychotic yeah I can go through the Catholic match and it's like no this this is a gorgeous woman who who I know and nobody who's just looking at this profile is going to know that at all um it's we don't need to keep it a secret um we've had we've got a tremendous we're basically employing cryptography to make sure nobody is uh interesting us for superficial reasons but we're going a bit overboard we don't need to this is not classified information um and so learning to take good pictures uh yeah so you don't need to practice this especially if we're doing online which I highly recommend I absolutely agree with this and I wouldn't say that it's important to have like a ton of pictures but one good profile picture for example you're didn't no not Tinder but Twitter profile picture is excellent and if that's the only good picture you have that's perfect that's perfectly fine it's an accurate representation of what you look like but you can't look like and that's enough and I would say that's not vanity to have one good picture of yourself that's good marketing and also also if we look at the people on YouTube YouTubers Catholic YouTubers um they are above average attractive usually not all of them most of them but for example father Mike Schmitz we don't want look we don't watch him just because he's attractive but it helps and that's important that's the same thing in real life you just like to engage with people who look nice look good together who um and that starts at online dating just don't want to talk to a person that is physically unattractive yeah it's a uh a physical attractive in the way that it's a day-to-day choice so uh during a there was a big Financial Scandal and then the CEO of the company had a uh so he was mostly clean shaven but he had like a tiny bubble of hair that he didn't bother to cut um just right under one nostril and it's like okay uh we're not saying that you need to be genetically well endowed with uh you don't need to be a dentist um but the amount of effort that you put into your appearance does make a difference um if uh if father Mike Schmitz handsome as he is um if he uh like Stop Shaving except for or if he shaved but there was a patch here and then a patch here then maybe a patch here that he just was so negligent and shaving it's like well um your diligence in grooming is when you say a lot about your diligence in a lot of things it's like okay so if uh if you're a Catholic online and you've got like a patch of uh of hair here that you just haven't bothered to shave then it's like well you also say your Rosary with eight Hail Marys per decade um you're just not you're just uh being sloppy and you're telling people how sloppy you are and I don't recommend do you have full comparison yeah absolutely so maybe to recapitulate to summarize um I'd say that we just discussed that it's important to both care for your interior life and for the exterior life and it don't worry about things you can change but try to make the best out of the things you have yeah and you can change and care for your health spiritually mentally and physically and I think that things will just fall into place I hope at least that's been it for today um I hope you liked the video see you next week and bye chat maybe we'll see each other again oh I hope so see ya

Channel: Biblical Bookworm

Views: 6,483

Keywords: catholic education

Id: u3NGnwyAZ0Q

Length: 17min 32sec (1052 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 12 2023