IDIOTS IN THE WILD 10 5 TRUE STORIES

one my last two jobs have been at financial institutions and I've enjoyed them both being the kind of service that everyone needs we see all kinds so naturally there are some trouble customers the other day I was visiting the bank I used to work at before moving to the credit union I currently call work for those confused by the difference between a bank and a credit union all credit unions are banks not all banks are credit unions the banks don't like credit unions using bank lingo and credit unions think that's fine since we'd like to differentiate ourselves anyway not all credit unions are connected privacy laws and at a credit union you are not a customer you are a member and your common shares account means you own a part of the company I was closing some investments and while I was talking to the teller I became the recipient of a very heart tap on the shoulder I turned around to see this lady that I had helped when I used to work there she had a very angry look on her face characters me yours truly cute and cuddly nice guy lovable adorable phenomenal cosmic powers great with kids does laundry does dishes and is pretty handy with electrical and mechanical humble a.f angry lady angry lady I won't call her Karen because of the dozen or so ladies I know actually named Karen including my mother-in-law or absolute gems there you are I've been trying to reach you for months why haven't you returned my calls oh hi I'm sorry I moved over to another institution well you're here now I need help with my mutual funds well I can't help you with your investments here I haven't worked here in almost two years don't give me that if you don't work here why are you here I'm closing my accounts and taking them to where I work why are you losing money here - no nothing like that it's just easier for me - well you must have some good reasons to move your millions and banker money especially with the fees you idiot charge here full disclosure the vast majority of my savings went toward a down payment on a house last year and now I have debt the remainder of what I withdrew the other when to cover my overdraft well I guess I don't need to worry about that anymore what why because I don't work here anymore stop lying you give me my money right now I can't you can and you will or I'll have you fired you can't yes I can I know your manager well I know you know him I'm the one who introduced you to him when he transferred from another branch also he's not my manager anymore since don't you dare say you don't I don't work here anymore I turned back to the teller who had finished closing most of my accounts and consolidated them into one and was preparing a draft to take to my credit union to deposit it there somehow there weren't any other customers in the branch and the teller and I just exchanged smiles and I rose again with the shoulders have I turned around slowly man if you touch me again you're what finger poked to my chest you'll close my accounts I've decided to leave here anyway oh cool well I never yes yes you did every day she turned around with huff and made a stumpy hurry toward the door but decided to make an impromptu visit to my old managers office I turned around to finish my business with the teller 30 seconds later this is what I heard enter the manager you can't do that I will not be treated this way I want that employee fired ma'am I've heard everything that went on up there he told you at least five times he doesn't work here anymore which means you are abusing my customer according to the policy which you signed when you opened your account with us and were told to read and not just discard I have the right to deny you service dare you that's enough ma'am I've already taken the liberty of closing your accounts the marketing your profile and charging the appropriate fees what fees fees and withholding taxes from withdrawing from an RRSP and early withdrawal fees for your GICs I'll have a teller make a draft for you but how will my mortgage get paid I'm still working on the calculations for the early payout penalties clearly flabbergasted the lady left the bank without another word I could feel an icy cold death stare on the back of my neck as she glided towards the door - this happened in 1997 when I was a volunteer at in American Zoo it was over 20 years ago but it's not something I'll ever forget I mostly worked at the baby Zoo with all the usual farm animals including a small gaggle of geese their leader was a big 23 pound white male goose named Roe this is his story one Wednesday out of the month the zoo had a free day meaning free admission all the workers hated free day because it attracted the worst kind of people jerks slobs leches and people who thought because admission was free everything was it also brought field trips which are the worst there would be often dozens of groups from grammar to high school and they just loved the baby zoo where I just happened to be however on this particular free day I'd be witness to something that brought me to my knees and truly made me heartily wish there had been camera phones back then this day we had one group of middle schoolers two groups of elementary and one high school group come to the baby zoo of the mall the group of high schoolers were the worst loud dropping trash chasing and grabbing the animals deliberately kicking up dust a poop covered hay and generally being asshats we had to repeatedly tell them to knock it off or leave their teachers didn't do crap to stop them there was one boy maybe 16 or 17 who I'll call guy showing off to a couple of girls by literally flexing his muscles loudly bragging can't remember what about and being a total jerk to the animals guy was good-looking tall with an athletic build nice clothes and was of course the loudest and most obnoxious of the bunch at some point guy had bought a handful of foot pellets and was using the food to tease the sheep and goats this will be important I notice row wattle up - the guy stopped next to him and pill on his pants leg with his beak telling the kid he wanted some of the food instead of feeding row this jerk instead bitch slapped her on the head big mistake I was advancing on this kid pissed and filly intending to kick the little turd out when roe decided to take matters into his own beak slowly and with purpose I watched his row backed up several feet lowered his head and charged before a guy even knew what was happening Roe had latched on to his privates his beak clamping down hard on the kids tender bits and began to pull hard guy began shrieking high and loud and slapping at roie's Road did a twist and pull twist and pull twist and pull on guy's package wings flapping and feet dug into the ground for more pulling power doing his best in neuter this kid is shrieks alerted to other volunteers and a keeper who all rushed over between the four of us we mashed a prior row of guys now more tender bits amidst the boys whimpers Roe trying his best to get another piece of guy and guys skilled mates especially the girls laughter one of the volunteers got guy an ice pack while the rest of us carried and herded Roe and his gaggle back to their sleeping area this was a particularly difficult task for us and took twice as long to finish due to the fact that a row really wanted a piece of that kid and a pissed-off 23 pound gander with a vendetta is very hard to hold and B we were forced to hold in our laughter since we weren't about to laugh at visitors talk about a difficult job meanwhile guy was threatening between whimpers and tears to sue the zoo however I came back red-faced and an agony from being unable to laugh and told the keeper that I saw guys slapped Roe in the head just before he was choking on the word attack dying inside I wanted to laugh so bad and the other three of us were no better other visitors including and especially his classmates backed me up and guy was carefully escorted out of the zoo by security after guy left me and the two other volunteers and the keeper managed to get to the staff only area in the back just before we all burst out laughing volunteer one was holding onto the chain-link fence for support as she laughed and laughed me and volunteer two held each other up as we give of like two loonies on nitrous the keeper who was a very stoic no-nonsense woman who rarely laughed or even smiled was sitting on the ground her face as red as my hair I'm a major redhead with tears running down her cheeks as she laughed her butt off eventually we all calm down well that is until the security guard came back and asked what happened sending us all into another fit of uncontrollable laughter let's stay ever three honest question do you all get riddled with guilt when you don't acquiesce to their demands in a big way of course well deal with minor Karen's but I'm talking about kicked out for good for being terrible to everyone my story not quite the hospitality industry you're used to we do general cleaning super spiffy top-notch maids carpet cleaners window cleaners etc very personal I am the point of contact for customers and teens to home base I send people to our competitors as often as I book an appointment saying no is frequent and as smooth as were fully booked that day week month which many of you know so well today I pulled a crew from a job site first time I've ever done that a Karen had high expectations in the initial setup asking for services we don't offer I noted the conversation carefully for the lead techs the following day she responded to the confirmation and estimate via text stating her office had quoted a much lower price that was me no I hadn't it's flat rate that number doesn't even exist in our system without a weird discount so I apologize for the miscommunication from the office she then tells me that I should respond to everything email and read the one she sent she didn't send one to anyone at the company after giving her two email options to reach me and anyone else necessary she tells me doing business by text is inappropriate okay fine most times when their dicks on the phone they're good to the techs it makes me choose my prep words carefully the texts don't need my bad energy before they knock on a door then the day comes when we're getting ready to head her way we have a set appointment with email confirmations and she knows a text will come when were on the way she calls right before we open and then again just after we opened I didn't know who it was and didn't have my system running yet it's stupid slow she asked if we're still on for the day and what time we would arrive I let her know the team was prepping and would be leaving shortly the team has an arrival window and I even narrated for her by knowing the behavior of the team it wasn't good enough surprise okay fine the team got on site and go figure she instantly started complaining about the price one of the teammates sent me the message while the other was trying to apologize I called her immediately ma'am I'm sorry for any confusion as we discussed we have flat rates for these services your home will cost four hundred and twenty-five dollars for this service I was told it was two hundred and forty three dollars by your office when I set up this appointment no ma'am I helped you set up this appointment perhaps you're thinking of a different cleaning company our competitors do things differently now I didn't speak to any other company the service you have tomorrow is two hundred and ninety nine dollars perhaps you got mixed up there now I have a much lower rate for that too are you sure you didn't call another company no I didn't your office told me ma'am I can see that I quoted you this amount from the initial conversation at 12:18 p.m. on July 11th there were no changes in the line items well I never got an email you didn't provide me an email until you sent a text which you called me an appropriate for responding to and yes sent two emails at 219 a.m. yesterday I see they have been delivered and not yet opened possibly check your junk mail oh well I'm not near my email I understand well I still need to get this done okay well we can take care of this for you today but it will cost four hundred and twenty-five dollars okay fine I'll pay it we calmed it down and got off the phone I pray the text would not catch too much flak but they were physically present for the customers rage one message from the tax no biggie two messages from the tax bullet this was doomed from the get-go my teammate called the team I called the customer ma'am we're pulling your team we cannot be of service what the rest was a blur in the end the team was good to go they headed off and got another job done today badasses every frickin one of them my teammate decided to publicly praise me in the company I am disgusted ly embarrassed sad for Karen and hiding behind being strong for the team her partner called later to try and salvage the relationship I told her our next available date was three weeks out no-go no problem for this happened many years ago my older sister had this awful bitchy neighbor who had a serious hard-on for sissies sill point Siamese cat our kool neighbor cn4 crazy neighbor sister assists me is self-explanatory CN was a black hair too plump 40-something divorcee who annoyed everyone in the neighborhood she had zero understanding of boundaries and like to come over to people's homes bargain and Luke snoop around opening drawers and cabinets and touching their stuff once she even went into someone's fridge and grabbed herself a ginger ale then got mad when the homeowner took it back if you left your door front or back unlocked for more than 10 minutes chances were she'd just come right in she stole yard decorations from other people's yards and had been caught on more than one occasion pocketing something she'd snagged off a mental or table of a high she's invaded and she would always throw a tantrum when she got busted cops had been called on her but she was good at being pathetic so most people didn't press charges unfortunately this made her bolder basically she was an entitled bitch sis was unfortunately one of her favorite victims she'd come over without calling Barger weigh in and ask Reid demand to see sissy's cat telling sis how beautiful he was and how she wanted a cat just like him sis being rather non confrontational would let her see the cat who didn't like the woman then make her leave cien never wanted to leave and had to basically be pushed at the door oh and she despised me because I wouldn't let her win when I answered the door nor would I tolerate her BS in any way if she got past my sister CN was so obsessed with the capped and offered to buy him many times but sis loved the cat he'd been the runt of the litter and rejected by his mom my sister had taken him and bottle-fed him mothered him and saved his life it wasn't a pet he was her child so sis of course said no this royally pissed off seein one day the cat got out he wasn't an outdoor cat so sis and I immediately started looking for him we were checking the bushes and behind the flowerpots in her backyard when we heard a very distinctive yowl followed by a very human shriek of pain coming from CN Songz suddenly the doggy door on CN s back door slams open and hunt runs my sister's cat his tail and one rear paw covered and was smelled like hair bleach I'm allergic to bleach and immediately recognized the smell as he passed dashes past us and it assesses house next thing you know C ends back door slams open and as she comes cursing up a blue streak ragged claw marks adorned her left cheek and one of her hands had a deep bite woman that completely saturated one of the gloves the kind one guests with any hair coloring kit she was wearing and running down her hand and arm turned out when the cat had gotten out CN had grabbed him took him inside then try to use hair bleach to bleach the brown out of his tail and paws in order to change his appearance so she could keep him unfortunately for her she didn't know shit about Siamese cats the moment CN put that bleach on that cat's tail he went absolutely berserk letting out that yowl we'd heard clawing up C Anne's face and sinking his fangs deep into her hand she pushed herself between the bushes the ones that looked like tall green paint brush heads sis used to separate the property Lian and began yelling she claimed sis's cat had wandered into her kitchen while she was cooking and when she tried to pick him up he attacked her for no reason clearly this was total BS CN then proceeded to call sis the n-word she's half black and me a half-breed and then she used the term frequently used for those of Hispanic descent I'm half Hispanic we have different dads she screamed that my sis was stupid for keeping such a dangerous animal and that my sis would be paying all her medical bills she then got right in my sister's face pushed my sister hard in the chest with her uninjured hand saying she was calling Animal Control and intending to have that thing put down CN opened her mouth to say more but my sister after hearing that last statement and without a word of warning hauled off in decked her she landed on her butt in the grass now clutching her eye sis then suggested CN go screw herself on a hot curling iron then ran inside to fight her cat well I called the cops the whole thing from start to finish lasted only about five minutes sis found him hiding in the laundry room and quickly cleaned him off in the sink meanwhile CN is still out on her butt in the backyard howling like a banshee when the cops arrived I told them what happened and they later talked to my sister after she tended to her cat it gave them the same story I did even admitting to hitting CN in self-defense of course it didn't hurt her case that CN had left a bloody handprint on my sister's shirt when she shoved her CN of course told them something entirely different her story was that she was about to bleach your hair when my sister's cat came in and attacked her she also said both sis and I attacked her too I apparently kicked her in the stomach but the cops find no evidence of bruising and the scratches on her face kind of masked her swelling I I also think the cops turned a blind eye pun intended to it considering the circumstances plus there was a clear blood trail leading into C ends open backdoor cops felt they had probable cause to go in I think if CN had been paying more attention she'd have refused them entry the betrayal led to the sink on the first floor bathroom blood cat fur a bleach applicator and the box it came in or in the sink and on the floor the cat's collar was in the garbage cien kept trying to play the victim but the cops didn't buy it she got arrested and my sister pressed charges for theft and assault she also got nabbed for possession of stolen goods cops found a bunch of DVD players and CD players still in their boxes sitting on her coffee table and in this spare room next to her bathroom and had a bunch of prescription drug bottles with other people's names on her kitchen counter turned out she'd also been stealing neighbors painkillers when she divisa 'tom also since she was a renter the property owner gave her the boot for breach of contract she went to jail and had to pay for the cat's vet bill he was okay but a bit traumatized and had a yellow patch on his butt and tail for several months see ends hand got infected from the cat bite and it turned out also caused tendon a nerve damage as well moral of the story stay out of people's houses and have the common sense not to mess with a cat named Lucifer 5 I primarily dwell at the front desk of an attraction at a large resort we see some interesting folks and by interesting I mean I am typically weeping tears of blood by the end of the night if the following post seems chaotic and a little hard to follow that's because it was we had a large Asian family come up today to pick one of our attractions our maximum capacity for either of our attractions is 6 people can book for our attraction online or at the front desk this horde of people probably about 25 or so swarms my desk we're in the Midwest us and not one of my staff is remotely Asian but for some reason the first four or five people from this group decided to come up to the desk and speak to us in their native tongue quite obviously they got nowhere with this so they elected a few individuals who could speak English to handle booking and everything after a long deliberation now one of our two attractions also comes with three different scenarios to choose from coming up to my desk and yelling to please at me doesn't leave me with much to go on needless to say I get to and I have three etcetera etc yelled at me about four or five more times before me asking what they specifically wanted to do struck home this marks another huddle-up that goes on for some time they finally decide get six booked get them in now we have a briefing room that people go in to get geared up and view an instructional and safety video prior the briefing room and the attraction room are heavily air-conditioned to keep the room temperature controlled because there are a ton of sensitive electronics the family decides that rather than occupying themselves in the waiting area which has a few TVs to see people while they're in the attraction and several canes to play that they're going to waltz in and out of my briefing room I go tell them that they can't go into the briefing room and need to chill out in the waiting area I'm also juggling people coming through and making bookings for the rest of the evening and helping run the other attraction at this time in between all of this they are constantly coming up and asking questions about when they were able to see their friends on the TV to which when they begin they'll be on the TV is apparently an insufficient answer I also have to explain to the same two individuals twice not to come behind my desk they're still going in and out of my briefing room and so I explained to them that the room is temperature controlled and I can't have them constantly going in and out and only people who are taking part in the activity are allowed back there when escorted by an employee I also informed them that this would be their last warning if they continued I would have secured to handle it from there one member of the group gets scared and backs out her mother asks if she can just apply what she paid for her daughter to herself when she does the walking one as she put it later I said sure that's fine noting that they hadn't booked another session an online booking popped in for our next timeslot one of their group walks up and loudly exclaims - and throws his card down on the desk my customer service persona has receded into the dark depths at this point we've been over this what do you want two of zombies a different scenario than the aforementioned walking one well my next available session will be in about one hour if that's all right but we are here now yes sir but as I explained earlier we need bookings for people going into play and somebody has already booked the next session so you'll have to wait we were here first we should get in first you had an opportunity to book the session when you were initially up here by choosing to book things out piecemeal as you go you run the risk of someone else making a booking I'm not trying to deny them the chance to book nor am I going to hold reservations for the possibility you might want something else at this point he storms off to his family I get one of my attendants to go get the next group in to start getting briefed and prepared as the first group is finishing he goes back there and does so and comes out before he's finished briefing because these people are interrupting his briefing by running in and out of the briefing room they come up to my desk and try to pick another session I'm sorry but I want the booking any further sessions for your group as you have as a whole proven unable to follow instructions even when repeated to you several times by several people have a good night this spark yet another massive huddle and discussion which I interrupted I'm sorry but you'll have to carry your conversation on somewhere else this area is for paying customers only afterwards talking to my attendant who ran their session he was also very frustrated with them this particular individual is very easygoing and he was on the verge of ending their session and kicking them out I've never even heard this dude give a warning before hey everybody hell freezer here and thank you very much for listening to idiots in the wild number ten and thank you very much everybody who allowed me to use in sentence stories for use in this video if you have a story you'd like to send yourself you can send it to king of the cities at gmail.com I'd also like to say a very kind and humble thank you to all the lovely words people posted in the comment section on Tuesdays video I was a bit nervous putting that outro up but you were all so supportive and I'm deeply deeply touched as I've always said 99.99% of my subscribers are absolute sweethearts and it really does mean a lot to me okay I'm gonna end it there and keep things brief because I'm running quite late today and had some noisy neighbours having fun outside even that sunny but they were having a party though fair enough so I didn't get done too late and I'll need to get these finish to get to bed and get up so I can start work on the weekend videos okay and with that I'm heading off for now so until next time thank you very much for listening and take very good care of yourselves

Channel: Hellfreezer

Views: 10,288

Rating: 4.936255 out of 5

Keywords: funny, comedy, bank, cleaning, cat, pets, voice, vocal, voice over, acting, entertainment

Id: O7MSKnQKlwk

Length: 27min 48sec (1668 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 08 2019