I Made Millions on a Hospital with a 0% Cure Rate - Two Point Hospital

hey there it's Josh welcome back to let's game it out we're playing to point Hospital today cuz if there's one thing I love it's creating hospitals that hurt more than they help let's dive into sandbox mode we got all kinds of layouts we can choose from we're gonna go with this big ol exciting one name enter sick never leave staff hiring medical students only that's what I'm talking about all doctors and nurses for hire are students with no qualifications now that's my kind of hospital okay so here's the start of our Hospital this little plus in the middle here we can actually extend outwards all of this surrounding area including this basketball court are you telling me in the name of expansion we can ruin like youth programs that's just perfect okay so for starters we're gonna need a reception area that of course is gonna go in the main part of our hospital and a design and so that when you enter the hospital first thing you have to do is imagine you're stuck at the DMV there we go that's about what I want for it naturally we're gonna put the check in computers in the center so patients have the longest crappiest journey and in order to make the jaunt a little more enjoyable I'm gonna put these amazing boom boxes all along the side it just really helps sell the atmosphere when you've got radios everywhere there's a bunch of other fun stuff we can add to like display skeleton oh hell yeah put some of these guys down - yeah uh-huh welcome to my hospital okay yeah that looks good you know I'm not a total monster though let's put a single chair down just right here there you go whoever is lucky enough can sit down at least after the long journey okay time to hire some people we can hire all kinds of people but for the front desk we need assistance oh boy the three L's Leonard Lauren and Lawrence I like how when you hire people you basically just get to shake them around like the vengeful God that you are okay these lovely folks are gonna handle the desk at least these two people are well Leonard here has other plans apparently where you going Leonard oh it's like he was gonna quit then changed his mind you probably should have quit oh boy we've got our first customer that's what we're calling people that need medical attention okay yeah really help them out yeah and just give up entirely yep that this really is like the DMV I like it second customers soul fully broken at least this guy's able to claim the one chair oh you okay buddy yeah you're just fine that was nice of him to get up to puke though oh it's contagious I like how these people just don't care at all that this is happening in front of them hey lady just be careful okay to your left is well this is going really well so far it turns out a lot of barf can happen we've basically got people slipping and falling no matter what everywhere okay so all these people are checked in and waiting now we've got to make a GPS office for consultation see we're gonna make that a nice stupidly long room we're gonna put the door crushed in the corner here desk on the opposite side cute little filing cabinet right there and just nothing but tantalizing sweet dispensers I haven't see don't think I could tell you why I want everything to be like a tower defense game but I do and hopefully people like candy as they navigate through this and of course we need to hire a doctor Mia bunts you win because you're the cheapest here you go fix some people all these people queuing outside a doctor patiently annoyed waiting for them to make it through this mess only to spend like a minute with them and then be like cool I'll just wait for the next person I guess oh my god this person's leaving and they're clearly unhappy a patient is not happy with the hospital in a storming out their top complaints include very hungry very thirsty very bored they were in the hospital for a hundred and twelve days yes I too think I would be dejected if I waited that long you know you people need to help you wait a drinkie machine that's right don't think I'm not thinking about you people of God so claustrophobic there you go a drink and a snack machine here and for the lucky few here's a bench okay now that this doctor has taken three seconds to tell patients what's wrong with them we need to send them over for treatment first let's expand our hospital by just trying the neighborhood we've got like a whole bunch of rooms we can do right right now we need to expand from the GPS office to some of this other stuff so first we're going to do this general diagnosis building we're gonna build in kind of a weird shape like that door right there and of course the scanning equipment goes right here and we need to put an examination table which we're gonna put way far away all the way over here let's make sure that there's windows on all sides so that nobody feels any sense of privacy goes for you too okay now that's the good stuff okay this person wins is my favorite name I'm gonna see in this whole game cat mouths unhygenic you don't say I'm so sad you can't just drop them anywhere like can you imagine being hired as a doctor like okay cool for your first assignment try to get out of this construction site or like we've gone ahead and just put you in the neighbor's house go ahead and try and figure that out one of the other rooms we're gonna build to is the pharmacy gonna build this on the back side of the other thing I'm a bob I think this is where we mix drugs to make everybody a little bit more happy you go just let the doctor scan you and that was it well that was nice of you to do a quick barf on the way out you know I thought this would be super creepy but it's just kind of cozy well while we're building stuff why not psychiatry it is this is where the psychiatrist's it's just like that see how do we make this like awkwardly too close yeah that's good and I think what would make someone feel the most comfortable is a bunch of these Anatomy models just a few it's really watching over you while you have your session oh you know what we got to put the toilets down that's what the real problem is no one has toilets yet let's put it right up against psychiatry over here wow these are some crazy-looking toilets with like saloon doors back over in the psychology room let's go ahead and just put some windows right here looking into the bathroom awesome it's perfect Oh check this out look what it looks like on the other side it's just tile because it wasn't creepy enough you know what I just realized another problem we're running into there's no psychologist here you want to know why cuz I can only hire frickin med students and so they don't know what they're doing and they need additional training let's go ahead and set up an unassuming little classroom in the corner but the lecturing podium right at the front why are you even allowed to put a desk right here this is how you get optimal learning done make sure that every student is facing the wrong direction so this is how you make better doctors cat mouse are you paying attention Who am I kidding this guy doesn't care oh my god who's this guy Health Minister you know what sir I don't think I like your attitude I think we're gonna make your stay a little more permanent here you go just enjoy some trash cans can you leave nope you're stuck hope you enjoy the view leaving the hospital well that's not true oh cool a rival CEO is here he basically walks for a couple of steps gives nobody the thumbs up and then barfs might as well give him the same treatment here you go buddy now you're the CEO of nothing you know I'm really digging this public viewing idea so let's go ahead and extend the bathroom a little bit and that's gonna go hand-in-hand with another room we need to make the staff room I think we all know where this is going you know it's been than watching TV live privacy violations oh yeah the perfect place to recharge they can be nice and creepy on this side with the bathroom just like before but over here in the psychiatrist office it's just plain windows no big deal they just know they're being watched I love that everyone is just settling in to watch the show oh my goodness staff resignation warning what could this be about Leonard quibble is very unhappy and threatening to quit primary reasons being underpaid desperate for the toilet very hungry they've given us 90 days to improve things well I guess you're resigning good luck to the back of your head all right what other things can we make here cardiology making sick people run that's all I need to hear let's put down our treadmill that's used for testing patients and not because I'm a sociopath and I don't know about you but when I'm running on the treadmill for a test or otherwise I love being blasted by unbearable heat okay that's probably enough just the right amount for optimal nausea oh god it hurts to even watch but not my problem what was that what what was that now looks like someone died call it a hunch not really sure what happened cuz I've been barely paying attention to the whole process of I don't know a treatment I mean seriously look at all the people in this line the ghost is almost the most normal thing here I'm okay with how this is going ironically I feel like when these people die and turn into ghosts it makes the place a little more lively I guess we should really address all this trash though and for that we're gonna have to hire someone specifically a janitor and I found the perfect one right here everybody meet grace traits argumentative what a shocker grace come with me have fun picking up all this vomit okay ignore the guy barfing literally where you're trying to clean up part of her job is also to take out the trash oh geez are you a superhero the dejected face of not caring I've never seen someone so depressed about taking out trash be so good at it oh my god I think she mops this up and then looks me in the eyes found the stats page let's see how we're doing yearly profits in the negatives reputation through the toilet your rate at an optimistic 1% staff morale is pretty good that's like an F plus I'm feeling pretty good about that okay so I've been at this for a little while now our hospitals getting shall we say a little bit larger than it was we've got x-ray machines we've got DNA scanning thingies too got grace pretty much everything around here except she still kind of struggles to clean up all the bar we've got machines to cure everything do you know what I realized that's a sucker's game to lose money and if we're not doing a hospital as a business what are we doing so we're gonna scale back we're gonna go back to basics all these fancy machineries like things that fix clowns and whatever the hell this thing is get it all out of here okay here we are new hospital clean slate let's see if we can't double our money we're gonna go with the more traditional reception desks this time we're gonna do it like it's a pill box in the World War two kind of look cool looks great and just because it's pretty we're gonna put some fountains down cuz nothing would make me feel more comfortable at work than being lightly spritz by water while I'm checking people in then we pull out of here and we're gonna make this GPS office land no frills no excitement just crappy unhappy little rooms and now we're just gonna copy this a bajillion times that'll do 28 glorious doctor's offices is is so at the moment there's only one guy working the front desk that's cuz we're waiting for more people to hire but I love this watching over 70 people try to form a line for just this one guy okay they appear to be forming lines now I don't know why cuz there's nobody behind any of the desks right now except this guy's coming back from break yep that's the perfect welcome back oh god dude you've opened the floodgates buckle up you know he's remarkably calm considering how long these people have probably been waiting after they've checked in patients hang out in these lovely very clean hallways and wait to see a doctor doctor waves their arms like they know what they're doing people part with their money and rinse and repeat oh but here comes the real magic currently we're charging people a mere 500 but I think we can raise that just a little bit oh yeah overcharge them that's the good stuff now we're gonna use all these empty places in the hospital to get our level as high as we can because my understanding is the higher the level the more people that come into our Hospital which we're gonna do by placing all kinds of equipment all over the place to make our hospital look more prestigious except we disabled all these rooms only lookie no touchie we also have this amazing marketing guru here who sits on the computer day and night running awesome campaigns all while wearing pink Crocs so we've been at this for a little while now lots of equipment in abandoned rooms lots of customers coming in and demanding treatment where they continue to wait for their appointments in the filthiest alley in the entire city in which you at that the strategy works it turns out it's real easy to make money at a hospital don't worry even with your dumpster reputation people will still flock to your hospital you run a lean hospital here now comprised of 22 doctors zero nurses nine assistants running the front desks and of course one janitor named Grace who lives her life a quarter meter of happiness at a time look at all these hallmarks of a successful hospital reputation zero percent cure rate zero percent hospital value 31 million you know now that we're cash positive I feel like we should do something that's only fair let's let grace and hair at the hospital so first let's fire all these other doctors your services are no longer required and let's bring grace back in as a doctor this time nice new hair I mean everyone's seen Good Will Hunting right I'm pretty sure janitors are secretly doctors all the time of Christ grace what are you doing I would say this guy is not impressed with your antics but it's clear he has other things on his mind like a body he forgot to bury and now the graces our finest and also only doctor it's time for her to valiantly help the masses and oh god there's a lot of them oh my god this is how many patients are waiting over a hundred and eighty to be exact okay janitor lady have fun on your first day watch out for those hands coming through the walls to try to kill you well I think this seems like a pretty good way to end it all grace stuck here for all eternity seeing patient after patient after patient never allowed to leave only here to diagnose and that's how you build a money-making hospital I hope you had fun I know I did don't forget to swing by and visit my hospital will get diagnosed but never cured and I'll see you next time

Channel: undefined

Views: 4,760,865

Rating: 4.9336658 out of 5

Keywords: two point hospital, 2 point hospital, two point hospital gameplay, two point hospital pc, 2 point hospital gameplay, theme hospital, two point studios, let's game it out, lets game it out, lgio, josh let's game it out, letsgameitout, let's game it out tycoon, let's game it out simulation, funny moments, no swearing, funny games, funny gameplay, i made millions, no cure

Id: 4-u_I8o0VEk

Length: 12min 25sec (745 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 04 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/NoNicheNecessary]

I was not prepared to laugh as much as I did. Thanks for sharing! Not sure how I haven't considered building a hellish joke hospital yet! I think I may have been taking the game a bit too serious thus far haha.

[u/Condog902]

Grace has been a real rags to riches story. Inspiring.

[u/-Blackcrest-]

Seen this video few day ago. This guy just knows how to run a proper hospital. His other videos are also amazing to watch :)

[u/ides205]

The staff room viewing gallery part had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

[u/DyceCubes]

I’m guessing, like me, you came here from NerdCubed? His Cooking Simulator videos are possibly the funniest 3 videos I have seen in my 25 years on this planet!

[u/alicecyan]

Oh my god this killed me

[u/[deleted]]

OH, MY, GOD. This guy is freakin genius. Definitely made my day.