i made a minimalist cake - loving yourself, confidence and being happy alone | clickfortaz

i'm just gonna wing it pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to look oh that's a lot buttercream looks nicer oh god it's a lot quicker than i thought it was gonna be hello my fine people hi as you guys know valentine's day is coming up usually around this time there are some people who feel extra down alone and then you add the pandemic on top of that and that just it's a tough time for a lot of people basically and this isn't just to do with valentine's day but since it is gonna be valentine's day it's a good time to talk about this today i really wanted to talk about truly loving yourself being comfortable being alone and this isn't just like a relationship thing this is just a human thing i think everyone should feel like that if you have watched my videos for a while then you will know that i have always struggled with confidence and love myself my first poem that i ever wrote was called i hate myself need i explain more so you know we've come a long way in the past year i feel like i've grown so much in confidence and loving myself i genuinely feel like i'm at a point in my life where i am so comfortable being alone in fact i love it i have very much adapted to the pandemic life i spend most of my time on this very sofa by myself i'm currently watching a show called superstore this has nothing to do with this deep mantra i was trying to get into but netflix recommended this show called superstore and i didn't really think much of it when i first got into it but now i have like really fallen in love with it it's my favorite show at the moment i fall in love with all the characters they feel like real people to me i'm very emotionally attached i should spend more time with other people right i just realized i've been talking about how i okay being alone and in the same sentence talking about how emotionally attached to these fictional characters so maybe i'm not the best person to do this video in the past year with the pandemic and everything like that i was pretty much forced to be by myself all the time so i pretty much just had to be my own friend because there was literally no one else around it was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me because it forced me to just be comfortable with myself and like myself and do things by myself and also i was like moving out and living by myself so i also had to do like more independent adult things uh like bills and maintenance and all that fun stuff so i feel like i've just grown so much in a year to the point where now i am so fine by myself everything i need to feel fulfilled as a human being is within me and i believe that that's the same for everyone i feel like i've been doing a lot of work on myself in the past year and i'm finally at a place where i feel whole by myself so i kind of wanted to make this video just to share some of the things i've learned and what's worked for me in the hopes that it might help anyone who needs to hear it i thought the best way to talk about all this stuff is by baking a cake in the spirit of loving myself i'm going to bake myself a cake because those two things go hand in hand baby and yes i am using packer mix because best for us all if she doesn't bake the cake from scratch trust me i've gone for the rainbow chip party cake mix all i need is eggs butter and milk i don't think i've got milk or water i can use water okay you may or may not know that i have become obsessed with minimalistic cakes fyi fear actually called minimalist cakes and they look like this for someone who's quote unquote obsessed she's failed to get the name right shake my head i made this cake and i haven't stopped talking about it basically i needed an excuse to make a cake and turns out this is the perfect one so we shall make one so my plan for this one is to make a bright pink aesthetic cake with like red icing with lovely stuff written on it and some cute red heart shaped chocolate on top i mean if that doesn't scream singing alone i don't know what it does and that's the vibe we're going for needy and desperate not to go chickens look how much uh buttercream i got it's naughty snorty i've got myself pink and red icing okay so i need 90 grams of melted butter i don't have a weighing scale so i'm just gonna wing it okay i think that looks like 90 grams to me all right you know what a bit of butter never hit no one five minutes in and we're already screwed today we are talking about two things loving yourself and confidence i didn't even know what love yourself meant you know when people say like oh you should just love yourself and i was like okay i'll try that what does that even mean what does loving yourself actually mean and the same with confidence like people would be like oh you just should be confident and i was like oh yeah i don't know why i've never tried that before i thought loving yourself meant you loved everything about you and that you saw yourself as a perfect human being how i would have seen confidence in the past is if i saw someone say on instagram and they look amazing 10 out 10 power pose i thought that was a definition of confidence so you had to look like that to be confident turns out neither of those ones are true now how i view it is for me loving yourself is more about accepting yourself in order to love yourself you have to be really real with yourself you have to accept every single part of you even the bad parts even the parts that you don't like so one of the reasons why i always struggled loving myself in the past is because i'm so aware of my flaws i'm so aware of all the things i don't like about myself i'll put my hands up i will be the first person to say i am not perfect i don't like it when i get angry when i get frustrated when i'm impatient when i say things and then later i regret i'd be like why did i say those things and i get really frustrated with myself and i beat myself up over it if i'm like this how am i gonna ever love myself because i don't like these qualities about me and i'm very aware of that but i'm also trying to acknowledge that yes i do make mistakes and i do things i regret all the time but i'm also trying to work on myself to be better and you know i feel like i've come a long way to the place i was a few years ago but i still have a lot of growing to do and that's fine like loving yourself doesn't mean that you think yourself as perfect loving yourself to me means that i care about myself enough to want to be better i acknowledge all of me i acknowledge the bad parts of me and the good parts of me and i love myself enough to work on the bad parts and try and better myself every single day am i the perfect human being no but am i trying to work on myself to be the best vision of myself every single day i would say so i would say i'm trying to be better it doesn't mean i wake up every day thinking i'm god's gift i mean i would love to know what that feels like it must be amazing it's looking at myself in the mirror and truly seeing myself and the same with confidence i focus so much on my confidence on looks so if i didn't look at 10 then i can't be confident and that's not true confidence has nothing to do with how you look it's a feeling and actually when i look back on my life and i think when was i the most confident it definitely wasn't when i looked the best usually my confidence happens when i'm happy and i'm usually happy around like my family for example i feel like i'm the most confident when i'm around my family and let me tell you around my family i look rough as hell because i don't care what i look like because i'm just messing around and like just being myself so it's just proof that confidence has nothing to do with how you look it's a feeling you feel when you're just being yourself pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to look because it's all clumpy just keep whisking whisk with swiss swiss swiss swiss oh it smells so good this whisk is doing nothing all for sure but it literally brings nothing to the table it's so useless for a whisk oh i just got everywhere oh maybe i don't need that much water oh did i put the wrong amount in i'm gonna say oh how do you turned out all right in the end this is a definition of trust the process guys guys this smells so good they should make a candy uh no no they should make a candle that smells like this i would light it up every night oh it smells so good i wonder if there is a candle that's what guys i need good candle recommendations that is the most adult homebody thing i think i've ever said yeah can you tell i just spent all my time in the flat by myself oh that's really good oh so excited yes oh look how cute look how cute the little sprinkles are i'm gonna put some vanilla buttercream and raspberry jam in between the layers as the filling i don't know what this specific utensil is called but i really like it i like it a lot so i'm just going to put like a light spread on because last time i felt like i was too much of and a tiny layer of raspberry jam all good and well talking about loving yourself and confidence and all of those buzz words um but like how does one actually become one right what's a step to step manual on this i need to know the instructions because i seem to have lost them since the day i was born i'm not saying that these are things that will work i'm just saying that these are things that i did and it kind of helped me um but by no means am i an expert on this topic we've been new case and points my channel for the past few years biggest thing that changed my mindset was how i looked at myself especially in the last year because i had to basically spend all my time by myself i started to see myself as my own friend so you basically treat yourself how you treat your friend so you spend time with them you are very complementary to them you support them you love them you're there for them when they need help you give advice to them and you are genuinely happy for their success and you build them up basically right i mean i hope you're doing that to your friends otherwise might want to question your friendship and when i started thinking about it i was like wow we do that for others so we're clearly capable of giving love because we do that every day to all the people around us so why are we not doing it to ourselves okay i'm not saying i'm gonna look in front of the mirror and start complimenting myself because that stuff is cringe if you do it that's completely fine but i remember watching uh like videos about like how to love yourself and they'll say things like you should stand in front of the mirror and give affirmations and talk nicely about yourself the thought of me standing in front of my mirror and tell myself i'm pretty just makes me want to be sick that sort of just didn't doesn't work on me and there was another one where they say like oh to be confident you need to go into room have your shoulders back look up look at everyone in the eyes and stuff like that and i was like well that doesn't really work for me either because that's just not who i am i'm not going to pretend to be something else to feel confident because then that's not really confident that's just me pretending to be someone else which is a lot more wick i can barely be this person i don't want to try and pretend to be someone else the method that worked best for me is seeing myself as my own friend ask yourself this do you want the best for yourself do you want to see yourself be happy do you want to see yourself thrive if you genuinely want those things then the best way to do that is to support yourself in that now i'm like i'm rooting for myself like i want to see myself thrive i want to see myself go on to do all the cool things i've always wanted to do i want to see myself be successful be happy thrive go on to live a very fulfilled happy life so i'm gonna support myself in that whenever i feel like i'm not good enough and i can't do something or whenever i just feel down and not that great about myself and my life um i think about like 14 year old has 14 year old house was in a much different place and like she would have killed to be at the position i am in now you know sometimes like that's what stops me from ever complaining anything if i want perspective right i think about 14 year old tires and where she was and how lost and stuck and just like sad she was and then i look up how i am now and i'm like listen girl you have nothing to clear complain about 14 your towers would have killed to be where you are right now so you have nothing to complain about if anything live your best life and be happy to make her proud i want to be a good example for 14 year old taz and i'm sure there's a lot of people watching who do feel and are like fortunate has and i also want to be a good example to them too because i want to show them that i know you're in a sad and bad and dark place right now and you don't see much hope but look at what you can go on to do and i want to show her that she can go on to do whatever she wants um and the only way i can do that is to be that example now those are two things that i do in my brain that uh keep me going oh i'm gonna just lightly cover the whole thing in buttercream and then put it in the fridge for it to like harden okay this is not going well these are my top tips on how to become more confident and love yourself tip number one get rid of toxic people and by the way when i say all of these tips i'm not saying that these are easy they're not easy but they are in some cases very necessary how are you gonna thrive in an environment that is wanting you to fail i know it's really hard to cut toxic people out but at the same time if you value yourself with and your mental health and i really would recommend you try to cut toxic people up growing up i was a massive people pleaser and i looking back now i definitely let people walk all over me because i didn't have enough self-worth i didn't value myself enough and i would value other people's opinions of me way more than myself right and i was just really sad and depressed and then one day i just was like you know what i'm gonna be selfish and i'm gonna put myself first and i cut a lot of people out and it helped me a lot i'm very lucky i have a lot of supportive loving people in my life you guys included you guys are a huge part of why i am more kind to myself and why i'm more loving if you surround yourself with supportive loving people it makes you want to be more yourself and you put out that positive vibes and it motivates other people to do the same and it's like this lovely wholesome [Music] positive circle it's very hard to love yourself in an environment that doesn't love you and that's something i didn't really understand until i got rid of toxic people and then i realized how much like weight just lifted off of me it's like almost getting rid of the barriers and suddenly you're unleashed and you're out in the world and you're just doing all the things also you don't need people to do things i've never traveled growing up and things like that so i didn't have a lot of experience in that sort of stuff and i also i needed someone to travel with and then i traveled myself and realized you really don't and it's really liberating and nice and i quite that i think that was when i first started to realize how much i enjoyed my own company and um that i'm perfectly fine doing things by myself obviously doing things with people is great too but you don't need them classic be yourself people say sometimes oh i can't be myself because the people around me will judge me or they won't accept me don't care the reason why i say that is because the more you are yourself the more you put out that energy out into the world you'll attract that energy back who i was a few years ago is very different to who i am now when i was younger i was much more academic i didn't show my goofy side as much my sense of humor and then the more i started showing myself and my personality i found you guys you guys started watching my videos and i found people that were like-minded and liked me for me but how am i gonna find those people if i'm not showing them who i am in order to find those people you need to be that person just be your authentic true self and someone somewhere will like it i mean you guys have put up with me for this long and like sometimes when i look back i don't look back at any of my videos because they make me cringe so much but the fact that this many people have watched my videos and have stayed listen if i manage to do it you can do it people have seen me spit out of a cup in my car and they subscribed and they stayed it's proof that if you are just yourself you're gonna find your own people also i think i'm doing this wrong okay we'll go with it boundaries i'm not gonna lie this one i struggle with every single day i think it's just ingrained into our mind since we were young to just please others right whether that's in school to get the grades to get into uni to get a job in your job you're constantly having to like please your boss or your co-workers all the customers because customers apparently are never wrong as someone who's worked in a supermarket for five years i would beg to differ but you know i mean you're constantly all societal pressures beauty standards life just is constantly putting pressure on you to please others and we very really think about what is it that we want and we need if you set yourself boundaries it basically gives that control back into your own hands and you're controlling how much of yourself you give to others it's just really important to have certain boundaries for your own mental health i know you mean well because you just want to help people and you want to give all you can to people and that's like a pure nice good thing but the risk of doing that is that you're losing yourself in the process we want to protect that energy we want to nurture it make sure that it's done in a healthy way so that you feel good about yourself the more boundaries i've set in my life the happier i've been and the more confident i've been none of this is easy in the beginning once you've done this and you practice at it it gets so much easier and you never go back so this is my chrome coat it's probably too much but i mean what's the girl to do now i'm gonna put this in the fridge uh for a few hours so that it hardens i put my cake right next to the tuna that's not good for example one thing i really struggle with is i post videos of myself online and i feel like online there is this pressure to share every aspect of your life i'm someone who likes to keep my private life private um for example my family i like to keep that private because my family is like my safe space especially when the world gets overwhelming and all that i go to my family and that's where i feel the most safe and so my natural instinct is i want to protect that and i don't want to share that with the whole world it just doesn't feel right to do that so that's like one boundary i put it's hard navigating that but if you do put these boundaries in place it just helps with your mental health so much now it's the exciting thing because now we're gonna make the pink icy oh okay this is basically the moment i've been waiting for i want it to be like really bright pink okay so i just made the icing and look at this color oh look at it is that not the most aesthetically pink pink you've ever seen in your life which brings me on to my next tip do things that bring you joy this brings me an insane amount of joy and i'm feeling pretty happy right now just looking at it oh it's so pretty i don't know why this makes my heart so happy it came out so much nicer than doing me oh my god this can look so nice i now want to paint this whole flap this car imagine if i just like spreaded that around the flap oh that's a lot buttercream looks nicer and if you don't know what it is that makes you happy just do a bunch of lots of random different things and eventually you'll find something that you like i had never shown any interest in poetry growing up didn't really think that was going to be like my thing turns out now i love it i never traveled grown up and i never saw myself as someone who would solo travel like that's wild did it turned out i really like it performing on stage it terrifies me still but i never saw myself as like a public speaker person did it turns out i really like it oh and i skydived once and i thought i'd be terrified of skydiving but when i did it i bloom me loved it if you're not sure what it is that you like just try anything and everything there's so many things to do in the world right there's about to be something that you enjoy i think when i was young i saw it as like you grow when you're a kid and in your teen years and when once you become an adult that's it you've done your growing this is who you are not true you can be so many different people in one lifetime i can wake up tomorrow and decide to be a completely different person like i could who's stopping me no one um i mean i'd get a lot of people saying you've changed in the comment section but like as long as i'm happy who cares who you are today could be completely different to who you are in a year's time like when i look at myself throughout the years i've changed so much in the past couple of years it's insane i think i'm lots of different things depending on my mood depending on the day depending on the time of the year i am in a different mental place right so i don't like labeling myself i just like to wake up and feel whatever there is to feel and decide that's what i feel like that day if you know yourself well enough and you know who you are truly deep down and the best way to do that is just to learn and about yourself the less outward judgments are gonna affect you because they're only gonna affect you if there's a bit of truth in there right like the best way to have a shield against the judgment is to know yourself well enough and that's like your protective layer i hope i explained that well i probably didn't for example there are a lot of things i'm insecure about right so what i would do is i try to understand why am i insecure about it why am i this way why does this one thing really bother me and when i break it down and come to the root of it i can work on that and fix it and suddenly that's not something i'm as insecure about anymore um so it's about working yourself i think as humans we try to avoid all the things the ugly parts of us and we don't want to we want to suppress it um but it doesn't work because it comes out in your behaviors in so many different ways like insecurities and stuff right the best way to deal with being the best way to truly be confident is to accept yourself through and through because confident isn't a look it's a mindset wow can you tell i've been listening to a lot of podcasts recently because my mind was on fire today look really so now it's the scary part because i gotta do the writing and i pretty much just have one go i'm just gonna go for it and then it's too late oh god it's a lot quicker than i thought it was gonna be okay that was really really fast okay it's really fast yo it's coming really fast so and an f people oh my god yeah oh my ho love yourself and then i got these like little chocolate love heart things i thought i could just put them how cute oh my god i'm so happy with how that turned out why aren't you doing that sick that didn't look so good oh my god is that not the most aesthetic thing you've ever seen in your life i got my projector out and decided to create a home cinema setup i've been wanting to do this for such a long time i love a cute den moment got popcorn my bluetooth speaker and it turned out so stinking cute [Applause] don't beat yourself up over not being where you want to be in life everything takes time loving yourself and confidence is like anything in life it's a skill you have to practice at it to get better we didn't learn how to read or write or speak in a day we weren't just born able to speak a language we had to practice at it every single day till it became natural and normal and second nature we didn't have to think about it anymore and it's the same with confidence and loving yourself you're not gonna just wake up one day and feel confident it's something you have to practice but if you don't start you won't get there the more you practice and by practice i mean put yourself out of your comfort zone try new things get rid of toxicity do things that make you happy focus on working on yourself to be a better person naturally you will grow in confidence so it's just about putting all those things into practice and then hopefully one day you'll realize that you are more than enough everything you need in life to feel fulfilled is within you i want you guys to know yourself with your value realize that you matter and you're so important and you have so much to give you just don't realize it yet but imagine when you do realize it's going to blow your mind and you'll be so happy and fulfilled and you're going to go on to do so many amazing crazy beautiful things and i'm just so excited for you at the end day you're going to be stuck with you for a really long time basically your whole life so you might as well get to like it as always thank you so much for watching i love you lots please know that you matter and that you're important and you have worth and you're valued and you matt to me and i appreciate you lots and lot thank you so much for watching i love you lots and i shall see you next time thanks for watching bye

Channel: ClickForTaz

Views: 308,834

Keywords: bake, food, cake, minimalist, advice, help, love, valentines, day, self help, baking, tiktok, challenge, sweets, dessert

Id: f98PXL4fGW4

Length: 26min 7sec (1567 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 10 2021