Hello and welcome to this video. Today let's talk
about what you can do when you're speaking in English, and you, you forget your words. Does
that ever happen to you when you're speaking in English and you forget what you wanted to say.
I hear this from a lot of students. They say, Jennifer I forget all my words when I speak
in English. So today let's talk about why that happens and what you can do to prevent it. Of
course I'm Jennifer Forrest, and this channel is dedicated to helping you feel confident speaking
English in public, so you can take your career and your life to the next level. Now before we go
any further, make sure you subscribe and hit that bell icon so you're notified every time I post a
new lesson. Now, let's dive in with this video. Let's say you're in a meeting at work and you
have this amazing idea that you want to share, and you open your mouth and you start speaking,
and as you're speaking, you just can't think of that word. You have a very specific word in
your head, and at that exact moment when you're speaking, it's not coming to you. This is one
thing that I hear from students all the time, and it's one of the reasons that a lot of
students will avoid speaking because they're afraid that is going to happen, either because
it's happened in the past, they've heard stories of it happening to other people or is just a fear
that they have. But here's what you need to know. It is normal. It is normal for you to be
speaking and not remember a word, not remember and the entire idea. This is normal, even if you
practice what you wanted to say and you practice and you practice and you practice, and then you
get to the point where you're sharing your idea, maybe it's in a job interview or at work in a
meeting, and you're speaking and you're speaking, and then you forget. You forget the word that
you just spent hours and hours practicing. Why does that happen. Well, you just have to
realize that, for one, your brain is not Google. Okay, I think a lot of people have this
expectation that their brains job is to give them the precise piece of information,
the moment they want it. Now that would be amazing if the brain could do that. And our
brain is capable of doing incredible things, but it does not work the same way that Google
works when you want some piece of information Google or Siri will give you that information
instantly, your brain is not like that. Your brain has all that information, but it doesn't
have a filing system, that it can just open a file and take that piece and give it to you on demand.
That is a limitation. So you need to understand that this is normal. You have to think about this
in your own native language. Are you telling me that you've never been speaking in your own native
language and forgotten what you wanted to say, forgotten the name of a movie, the name of a
restaurant, the name of a street the name of a co worker, and you know their name but just
at that exact moment you can't remember it. Are you saying that doesn't happen to you in your
native language. Well of course not. Of course, it happens to you in your native language, so why
wouldn't it happen to you when you're speaking in English as a second language. The best solution,
I can offer you is to have strategies in place when you forget your words. So I want to tell you
about one of my students in my program speak to impress. Now, this is a public speaking program
so my students practice their public speaking, and they learn strategies to help them share
their ideas effectively and impressively, so one of my students was talking about her
favorite Disney movie. Now, as she was talking, she couldn't remember the name of the Disney
movie. A lot of times students will just use a lot of word fillers, they'll get really stressed
out, or they'll just stop talking because they forget a specific word. But remember what I said,
you need strategies. So this student was able to keep talking. So she forgot the name of the movie,
she's instantly started talking. Oh, I can't think of the name of the movie. What's that name again.
Anyway, it doesn't matter. So as I was saying, so she talked for a little bit to give her
brain some time to think of the information. The information was not coming, so she had to
move on. She had to keep going. And that's what my students learn, they learn to have these problems
like forgetting their words and they learn how to overcome them with specific strategies, so they
can keep talking. So you just need to have some strategies in place to help you keep talking,
when that situation happened, because that's a normal situation is going to happen is going
to happen when you're in a meeting is going to happen when you're in a job interview is going to
happen when you're giving a speech at a networking event or a conference is going to happen when
you're at a party just socializing with friends, you cannot stop talking. You have to keep going.
So you just need to have some strategies to help you keep talking. So ultimately, you can just
relax, because that is a normal situation. But there is one thing you need to understand,
and not that our brains don't work as effectively when we're under stress, so if you have a fear
of public speaking, and before you go to speak, you're already nervous before you begin the
presentation before you go to the job interview, your heart is racing. Your hands are shaking you
have that feeling in your stomach. At that moment, your body is under a lot of stress, and in that
stressful environment, your brain doesn't think as clearly, your brain is under stress, at that
moment. So, is going to be more difficult for you to organize your thoughts and think clearly
and get the words out, just think about how you feel when you didn't get a good night's sleep.
Let's say you had a terrible night's sleep you only slept two to three hours, and you're
in a meeting in your own native language, and you're asked a question, and you've only
had two to three hours of sleep. You're not going to be able to articulate your ideas very
clearly or effectively because your brain isn't working properly. It's only had two to three
hours of sleep. Now, that exact same thing is true when your body is under stress. So it's really
important that you learn to control your fear of public speaking, it's very normal to have a
fear of public speaking, but you need to take action to minimize those negative emotions.
I'm not going to tell you that you're going to eliminate them 100% But you can absolutely
minimize them, you can minimize the nervousness, the heart racing the hand shaking, you can reduce
it and minimize and minimize and minimize and with enough practice, you can get it as close
to zero as possible, and when your body is not under stress, your brain is going to work
more effectively, and it will be able to give you the information that you need when you need
it. So first of all understand that it is normal, even when you're not under stress, your brain
does not operate like Google, but understand that when your body is under stress, because you're
having a negative reaction to public speaking, your brain is not going to work as effectively
as if you were calm one strategy that I can offer you to overcome your fear of public speaking
is to use your breath. So take big breath in. So, big breath in, hold, and then a big exhale out
so take it in for three to five seconds, hold it for two to three seconds, and then exhale for five
to 10 seconds. And when you take those big breaths in and Big breaths out your heart rate is going
to slow down, Because your body is in stress, you need to get your body back into a calm environment
and you can do that with your breathing. So before you go to the job interview, just sit in your car,
or go to the bathroom, and just do some breathing exercises, or let's say it's a few days before
the job interview, and you're thinking about it, and you get nervous just thinking about it and
your heart starts to race at that exact moment, do some breathing exercises. The second you
have that fear. Obviously, you can't do that in the middle of the job interview while you
were speaking, you can't do that right I think that's obvious, I don't need to tell you that. So
you have to do this as a preventative before you go into the event, and that will just help your
body state in that calm, relaxed state. So you can think clearer. Another reason why you forget your
words when you speak, is because you're thinking too much about your words, you're obsessing
over your English, and you're thinking too much about individual words. And you're forgetting
the purpose of communications. The purpose of communications is to share an idea. You should
not be thinking about the individual words that you're going to use, you should be thinking about
your overall message that you want to communicate, and then focus on your message, because there
are many, many, many different ways that you can communicate a message in English, but I find
that students, When they're public speaking, they forget that they're not in a classroom.
When you're out work, and you're in a meeting and you're sharing your ideas, you're not in the
classroom in a classroom, you might be required to practice specific verb tenses or to practice a
specific phrasal verb that you've been studying, and when you share a practice example in a
classroom setting, you have to practice that specific phrasal verb, but when you're in the
workplace environment and you're communicating, and let's say you want to share an idea, and
you want to share it with that phrasal verb, but you can't remember that phrasal verb, if
that's what's happening, then you've forgotten the purpose of communications, you've forgotten
why you're there, you're there to share an idea whether you share that idea with
a specific phrasal verb or a different word, a synonym, all of that phrasal
verb, Does not matter in the classroom, it matters in the real world, it does not matter,
you should not be thinking about individual words, individual verb tenses, individual phrasal verbs,
individual expressions that is not your goal. Your goal is to communicate a message. So if you
focus on the message, then you won't worry about what words you use to communicate that message.
So the only thing you need to do as a solution is you just need to focus on your message, focus
on your message, and remember that there are 10, 20, 100 different ways to say the exact
same thing. So you may have wanted to use a specific phrasal verb, but who cares. There
are many other ways you can communicate the exact same idea. And remember, you're not in English
class. Your boss, the person interviewing you, doesn't care about your phrasal verb vocabulary.
They care about your ideaa. They care about the value that you can bring to the organization.
They care about the solutions that you provide that what they care about. They don't care about
your English. So stay focused on your ideas, and remember, you're not in English class. So now you
know why you forget your words and you also have some very simple strategies, strategies that you
can use starting today to overcome this problem, so you can share your ideas effectively and
impressively. And if you found this video helpful, please hit the like button, share it with your
friends, and of course subscribe. And before you go, make sure you head on over to my website:
speak to impress.com. And there, you're going to find a free masterclass. And in this masterclass,
I'm going to share how you can feel confident speaking English in public without worrying about
your grammar or your accent, or your mistakes in only 30 days. To get your free masterclass,
simply click the button, enter your name and email and you'll get instant access to the
Masterclass. And I'll see you in my next Video.
