I don't work here, I live here! r/idontworkherelady

welcome to our /i don't work to your lady where we share stories about folks that are mistaken for employees by irate customers and the first story is I don't work here I live here mostly i lurk here as i suffer from a combination of resting be face and what I call retail invisibility meaning I often seem to be invisible to both retail workers and other customers all apologize in advance for my worthiness when I have a story to tell I like to tell a story no TL DR czar forthcoming from my keyboard also I apparently really like parenthesis today today I was out in my front yard weeding nothing I was wearing looked like any kind of uniform or had any logo on it in fact I was wearing paint stain shorts and a t-shirt that had both seen better days I was on my knees wielding a weed knife it's a great tool and if you do any gardening I highly recommend it I'm sure it would make an excellent weapon in the event of a zombie apocalypse as well I live at the top of a busy T intersection so I paid no attention to the cars passing by until I heard hey hey hey you for a moment I honestly thought it was probably that brat Brandon's mom from down the street Brandon's mom stands on her porch and yells Brandon Brandon Brandon incessantly Brandon ignores her because his mom never actually leaves the porch to make him do anything except that the voice seemed to be coming from right behind me I turned around to find a white Mustang sitting in the middle of the intersection and pretty far into the oncoming lane and a middle-aged guy hanging out of the driver's side window while a middle-aged woman with an 80s helmet hair slash Margaret Thatcher dude leaned over him what are you charged for yard work the guy asked now I'd been out in the Sun sweating for a few hours and not thinking about much other than the other chores that needed doing today so I wasn't too Swift on the uptake what yard work I asked yard work yard work gardening mowing that kind Sh what do you charge who do you work for seriously I must have had a touch of sunstroke I was so slow I work for insert name of company I work for name of which does not indicate their business what are you asking about for the record I don't live in the kind of neighborhood where people hire gardeners even the elderly people some of whom are weirdly obsessive of Mount mowing their yards don't do more than hire some kids to run a lawn mower they're grass most people on my street just have grass or ivy but the previous owners of my house made an attempt to landscape so I've continued and improved it it certainly doesn't look professionally done though I think you can see where this is going what do you charge for yard work is your boss around at this point it was clear the guy was starting to think I was a bit slow too then came the really choice bit the rest of the yard crews around here all s's and w's they won't do a thing if I'm not there to watch over them every second I want to hire decent white people to do my yard work sorry for the use of slurs that's what the a-hole actually said and I'm not fond of the practice of partially blanking out a word when everyone knows what the word is the light bulb finally dawned I stood up my knees probably made a god-awful sound but I did it without mooning I replied in a monotone I don't work here I live here this is my yard don't give me the runaround this neighborhood is much too expensive for a girl like you who's your boss I don't have all day here all this was said in a very belligerent don't you know who I am tone at this point the synapses had woken up and were firing again mr. Mustang thought that he was in expensive high tax borough which borders am i much less expensive lower tax borough high tax borough is about five blocks over you can't actually tell you're in a different municipality unless you look at the house prices which run half again to twice as much as my neighborhood when you get a bit further over on the other side of the cemetery you get into the really pricey fancy area of high tax borough we're quite a few people do indeed hire yard crews who are in fact mostly Hispanic but they have much bigger yards than mine in other words mr. Mustang is an idiot I wasn't too happy about the girl bit either I'm 42 I'm starting to look at or at least within five to ten years of it maybe I looked even a little younger due to my shabby clothes unstyled hair and lack of makeup but still I'm pretty obviously passed the girls stage I've also learned that you should never ever assume that appearance equals income this is my yard in my house tip Sh I told him coldly you're in low tax borough not high tax borough get your race it's a the F out of here you're blocking the intersection this is paraphrase slightly there were more swear words and what I actually said a lot more swear words and some other insults but this is the gist of it all so while all of this was going on several cars had driven up to the intersection honked at mr. MA dang ninja Rove around him it's sadly not uncommon for d-bags to block our rather narrow streets while they do whatever it is that they do missus Mustang I assumed gasped mr. Mustang went red in the face and started to make like he was going to get out of the car so I held up the weed knife and started ostentatiously wiping the dirt off of it this worked really well with the dude who drove by last summer while I was working on the front yard and yelled some choice insults at me mr. Mustang drove off real fast and nearly hit someone coming in the opposite direction unfortunately he missed them however he managed to clip his passenger side mirror on one of the parked cars and knocked to clean off when he stopped to retrieve his mirror I managed to catch his license plate number and left a note on the car he hit here's hoping mr. Mustang car insurance premiums go up he finds out he actually lives in my low-tax borough and not the fancy neighboring high tax borough and all the grass in his yard dies the second story is I don't work your home edition so although this didn't happen in a retail setting I believe it fits in the spirit of this sub one recent afternoon I was home alone my preteens 11 and 12 had gone to play with some friends at the park across the street I had been up late the night before so I was running on fumes I fell asleep for a lovely lovely minute in the living room only to be woken moments later by an angry loud banging on my front door I groggily answer it it's a neighbor I vaguely recognize she of course is wearing yoga pants pushing a jogging stroller with a wee one inside and has a stellar rvf you have the blonde kids right she barks no my kids have dark hair like me I tell her wondering WTF she wants well you know them right I see them over here all the time I tell her that yes I know them they are my kids friends well where do they live she demands now I'm not about to go giving out private info to strangers and I can't remember their exact address anyway they live down that street I said pointing around the corner well anyway she replies I just wanted to let you know that I've seen those children on multiple occasions cross the street without looking ok I said getting annoyed at this b-but they're not my kids well I see them over here all the time what are you gonna do about it it's just not safe again I said they're not my kids well I have seen them on several occasions besides those kids shouldn't be at the park by themselves I just stared at her blankly realizing in my sleepy state that she's a horrible coptor mom and that she's never going to get off my porch or STFU okay I said thank you for letting me know I then very gently closed the door this was my mistake I immediately heard sputtering and yelling how dare you slam the door in my face how rude I demand you open this door this very minute and speak to me the yelling continues and I decide this lady has lost her mind I decide to go out my back door leaving her yelling on my porch I run across the street to the park see my kids and their blond friends and tell them to look both ways I then ask my kids to come home I'm afraid crazy lady will show up with her jogging stroller and make a scene as we're heading home dang I run into said crazy lady barreling down the sidewalk towards the park SH how dare you slam the door on me you're a very rude horrible person she exclaims listen lady I tell her while cutting across my backyard those weren't my kids but I told them to look both ways I didn't mean to slam the door on you or to be rude but you woke me up to complain about kids that aren't even mine well you didn't need to be sleeping while your kids are at the park anyway she then stomped off his spreaders joy elsewhere and I wish this story ended there except I've heard from other neighbors she's talking trash about us she is a lovely Jim thank goodness she at least isn't my direct next-door neighbor and the last story is yeah yeah it is also I don't work there and I live here stumble across this sub and it triggered a fun memory I'd like to share this was a few years ago and I had just got a new phone number a day after the phones connected I started receiving calls from a rather unruly gent the phone would ring and I would answer with my usual chipper good evening this is Rev only to be greeted by a gentleman that would start screaming into the phone how I was a piece of sh my company was Sh and the products I sold were Sh I tried to calmly inform him he must have the wrong number to which he replied f you do your D job or I'll come down there and f you up so naturally I hung up the next day and the same gent calls again with the same level of vitriol this time he says he's going to burn future shop to the ground after he's done stomping me I once again explained to him he has the wrong number only to be threatened again I tell him this is a private residence and not future shop and that quite likely he dialed wrong my number ended in a 5 future shop ended with an 8 and was once again told to do my job I hung up again this went on for a week and admittedly I got tired of it I stopped being polite I picked up the phone let him scream at me for about 30 seconds and told him you're a piece of sh you need to come down here so I can flush you like the human turd you are flash-forward five years and I'm having a discussion with one of my co-workers pour razzle when he tells me how he was once a manager at Future Shop and how one of the gentlemen on my caseload came in and punched him in the face after knocking over three display TVs in a fit of rage before being violently subdued by police that afternoon I had a meeting with the man in question telling him his request for a transfer was denied I started the meeting with a rather chipper good afternoon this is rev thanks for watching see you next time

Channel: /Start

Views: 58,951

Rating: 4.8655715 out of 5

Keywords: i dont work here lady, r/idontworkherelady, reddit stories, i dont work here, best of reddit, funny, STORIES from Reddit, IDWHL, stories, daily reddit, IDontWorkHereLady, reddit top posts, Reddit Cringe Stories, I DON'T WORK HERE LADY, idwhl reddit, from Reddit, r/ i don't work here lady, r/IDontWorkHereLady KAREN, entitled karen, Entitled Lady, entitled, subreddit, Entitled People, Employee, karen, customer, r/idontworkherelady I Live Here, I Live Here, I don't work there

Id: K7prSCPs3DU

Length: 10min 0sec (600 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 17 2019