I DON'T THINK I CAN GO BACK TO THE US, NUNGARI MUCHAI #SEMANAJG #DIGITALSACCO

[Music] [Music] 847 long time i know it's been a minute but i think it's a deliberate choice yes it is yes so hey to me oh my god i mean 20 years 20 years 20 years like in ukaniwa yes so long yes the last i checked it okay what happened uh what a tourney rudiki dogo by the way you'll excuse me me my kiss swahili is bad no you can speak english i don't have a problem that's why we trained and i by the way i need to see this asante sana nishikawa eric latif yes young true so thank uh i thank you guys because um yeah take time because my kid was bad at that time zakupatia salary you know and even a lifestyle true er which is a good thing so to kanzapo and then uh before i got to kbc um i trained nika can you anesha how to write edit translate and even to voice true and uh beautiful voice thank you so and then after that uh sharokina revamp and then to kind of so i i was there for four years yes four years as a continuity presenter and i loved it you know the exposure um levels the you know knowing other things it was a great great platform and i was very young yes so i thank god and even your tomb to myself i think to mungo ami panga and as i take you back professor wangarimada i met professor atasekwa by the way i had not known i had not heard about this professor so to like to look at an ender co act because i act too so to kind of cambodia professor mother and i'm thinking who is she because wow so i'm going to train and then ana tulipa which was very good that and us and all that so after kbc i i had a dream way back to go to the us because i thought u.s was it mm-hmm so nico i think class seven the my auntie had gone to the states way back so my acatumia sistango makaratasi so my sister said hatanda i cried in cambia for father let me go my dad was like a partner you need to finish your studies and then utah ender you have to give it another and you remember those days wali kwan nazeeland in a green card application i used to apply every every time and i think wali two of them they mailed back but we didn't have the knowledge of how you know to get by so later on nika nikam nika fina job nika oleva and then i stopped like because i'm okay fine maybe this is my life and then my auntie came to visit then he called me i wanted to go i can't be a yeshua you can't be a yes so i kind of can you to miami christianity and that's how i ended up in the states did you go with your husband no okay uh um i was married but i quenta it was not successful like oh or maybe i had to hike work i like work but we got two kids so you know we were very young and i hear doctors saying that before 25 braniac i know you don't make very good decisions okay and i'm not saying that they didn't make it so mine did not work out it's not a something to worry or to have pity about so they kind of nearly end up a kangaroo and i love the kids are my parents but later on their dad picked them which was you know what watertown so yeah i didn't have a problem with that but and then wakarudi home how old were they when you left i left my daughter at nine months i know i know but let me tell you joyce and i will say this about women yes we sacrifice so much do our total true and i remember my auntie i can you lisa are you sure you want to leave the kids at that time in circumstances then yeah i was going through the very tough on me so i wanted a you know something else to uh to work out okay and i was not jobless yes that time i had left kbc so and i had a shop we were gonna shop up at tomboy street uh so i was thinking a job so i thought you know what and even my ex by the way nearly named yasuo is a anti-akokama and izaku invite so even julian lillian i had no knowledge of uh state school and aj amanini you know the way now nowadays we have internet you can google and all that yes but one thing i love about is that when i went to check online on a new money 125 dollars i was like that's cheap i can't buy even two hours a day you want to earn a thousand it's a lot so you've spoken to your husband i miss him and it's it's okay you can go yes yes mm-hmm it was tough i went via zurich that's german yes so i had to lay over there i think for four hours and then the calendar so i bought i put some candy you know the currency is not the same for me i'm thinking so even in the states and they're the same so we change pesa no cinema so what can you play a change okay so i thought that the same money in italian the u.s and when i got there nippy get my auntie and so there was a call box and i and i named me and i put in the money in anguilla euros but uh state is not like here realism to see more akunam to another snatch your phone so i asked another guy named patao kwaki clean like and i called my auntie but he wasn't waiting for you they were expecting me but they knew they didn't wait for you at the airport no no no you cannot wait at the airport attack you drop and go because guna mascara you know the traffic yes so you you drop or pick no nanda you cannot stay there mm-hmm so i called them or canada so wakakuja and i got there at uh eight in the morning i'm thinking what is going on yes can you know we have different uh climate so it was summertime so gizene is in india 10. let me tell you hey juice everything that i thought about i had thought about was there the roads are good it's clean everything it was a new new environment then nearly come on and then you wake up you're like you don't even know which day i may travel like 18 hours yes you have jet lag the whole day you're confused because of the timing away then aquila came to me yes but it was a very good experience and then uh there you learned to you learn to mind your business okay because i'm talking even if it's a family the schedules working schedules okay but you're living in the same house yes so did you get a job where were money i did within that year okay i stayed yeah i was coming to that after how long did you get a job uh one you have to have an id first so it has to take three three to four weeks yes as you wait and my mind was like this narrative that er when i choke so i thought it's a it's a quick thing uh by the end of the week i should be sending money like in this evil you have to wait so i waited natural number angle and at first i i was like did i make the wrong decision mm-hmm then uh cinelifica i i got there in may so i think i got the first job but around augusta oh god what were you doing the locator home i used to know all the channels and all the programs i used to watch tv during the day no yes during the night i love you know you can go for walks but i don't know i'll go because you don't even know the place very well yes and then i i i was bought for a phone like nicaraguan myself completely yes um yeah and then i started working first you go to school also okay you need to learn there's so many jobs you can do odd jobs by the way then what one right what jobs your that they're easy uh to get and you make money and when i do i can you took on a cd you work in the bank or you work in in a radio station you're a painter and you're okay by the way you're proud according to ana jali mm-hmm so i got into health okay which is uh what you wanna end up cause it's easy to get okay so you do the fundamentals of caregiving so you went to school yes you go to school and then i'm a certified nurse assistant okay so you're trained on how to take care of those people of the people and then on how long does it take you to get to that level yes no when you get a job you know you get a job and then no i'm asking how long did it take you to train for for the school yes three weeks you'll see nearly three weeks but fundamentals of caregiving you can go for a day four hours four hours you know they're short courses okay yeah so you can do your certified nurse assistant then you go to rn registered nurse and then you can be an asthma i'm a doctor okay but to me i and i and i know i will represent so many people my thing is not in health mm-hmm sony liquina evo for me to get by okay but my passion has been media and radio and all that but as you know it's very hard to get uh for like formal jobs or even for african-american it's it's very hard so it was not even something out of anyone what was going on advice you know you can do you can do nothing i mean you're gonna say my partner because it's not in me yes it's not in me so you go for four years and then it's a course that you will never work on so i thought i would rather do communications which will help me even if i because i was planning to come back to kenya so you got your first job yes and by the way which job was this hi you know people don't tell you the truth unanimous when you go for those training healthcare is about what to maybe um accident and then now they're going through therapy or nursing homes nursing homes is where you have an old parent and you guys are not able to take care of them and then you put them in an institution so it's called a home you can call a home and they are nursing homes so you do everything you clean them you take them to the bathroom uh you feed them you know some new total care okay um to always get this idea so you do all the work you clean now unfortunately so it's humbling and also fulfilling when you unend up to maybe ali was so grumpy and then you bring light to them yes you know you talk to them and then when uh they renew their lease of life you know they look at life in a different way true so it is very good and also the exposure then you have uh is it my granddaughter is kia yes me so diseases and sicknesses that i've never even heard of in cases and then you also see um people who have developed developmental issues so you you you work with them come and they can grow yes okay yes yes so that's what you do then and then you stand there with a poster that's top thing yes okay and it's all by the way they are paid very well they are paid very well then kunaizi zakuza you know every gas station gas station in that nanny in that place you can get you can get guys one or give a and a truck contract you do truck driving you can do interstate move where you transport cars or food or whatever from this state to the other okay okay yeah so let's get back to you they wanna kaziakoni taking care of these old people yes and then later in the evening um yes how did it feel i was shocked because i remember that lady money nilianda orientation so you know she's cleaning nakila ana kilakitu you take them to the bathroom and you give them care i thought me i anyway i don't know what i was thinking because sequence of career i'll i'll be i'll be able to do that so they're following there can you be so mexican in colombia the fear that i had because now now this is reality this is something that i've never done and i never even thought you know people lie yeah what one of columbia oh i'm a nurse and it's they're lying and i think it's time joyce while our tour co-inject you know accept yeah because it pays your bills yeah it's a job so we should not uh feel like at any oucha foreign but the shock in me i didn't eat for a whole week i can imagine so i called another friend of mine welcome to america happened you need dollars in our tokyo and then we you're just with time you know no no it's the norm and in aquilipia bills so you you carry on wow yeah you're going to take a short break to takaraya to tajiwa maisha and hungary maracana de la vip ali rudi oh [Laughter] hey [Music] and she's telling us her story about going to the u.s and her expectations so non gary yes u.s remainder day one you're feeling yak yeah but you're shocked but you've decided to move on yes uh did you move out of your auntie's place so you continued staying with them after after i got a job lilly talker i i i moved out there was another lady who was looking for a roommate and another shocking thing and this will it's debatable but the highest number of people one uh one apart a roommate oh you share yes uh so that led in you know she's from kikuyu akasemana takarum so namine look when i was that time i didn't have a car so from my auntie's place to where i used to work in tacoma illuminati take a lot of time yes i was in tacoma so ilukinani took a lot of time okay so i needed to be closer because so to to kakanae and then later and you know what the funnest thing about living in the states is ukienda when you get a job and then you get a house and then you get a car unattractive to alienate for 20 years like there's nothing there's nothing you are just what i you really need it for you to be able to move from a to b and you cannot very few people and i and this is also debatable very few people can survive now one job you need two or three jobs okay so you you got more yes okay was a time i had three jobs and i was in school like 24 hours hulali who lovely 24 hours you're so fatigued you you have no breaks and then there's this there's this energy that is there unasking attack and a hotel you don't enjoy the money most people don't enjoy the money you feel like atacama will go home you feel like you should be working or you should be somewhere else okay so i used to do three jobs nah akuna breaks one time a client that i was working for got sick okay so from tacoma to uh downtown seattle lil cuaninda for one hour it was an hour's drive or more depending on the traffic so nimetoka it's a work shift senior hospital you cannot sleep so nikitaka off the parking other than kotoka i reversed because you know your mind is not you're not okay yeah i know you're almost burning out sonica ikagonga wall let me tell you joyce nilisimagari and i said that's it because so many people die um you're so sleepy oh you doze off yes it's hardly do you get water so nahuti you're confused so you run into somebody or somebody runs into you so so many people die okay go do a fatigue so you're in the u.s you've gotten a job were you sending money back home yes did you did you invest i i did and i will say this to date there's some la land i bought nasi daishi kampaka wasai why because no one has an answer just like other you know so many other thousands to so many family members they're not real you know they lie to you now i'm a cooler though there's so many of those stories you went through that no i did not but you know but at that time i hear the governor of that constituency yes so imma come a pending but even today if i asked my mom what was involved so no one has answers okay uh back at home um yes were you supporting them yes i was my kids are not seeing me then i can send the money and get give them a comfortable life yes so oh yeah i did i supported them and i'm a believer of er i couldn't build that one and a bb like a guy if if you're in this together i can pay for school fees comfortably like i couldn't believe you now will you they're your kids mm-hmm so to me i was like it's a it's a chance that i'm you know god i'm in pattaya a chance yeah yeah so not a big deal i used to take care of business just like any other person okay yeah rumenda us we met leah did your husband join you no did you start dating no i did not for the first three years my mind was set uh you know before i went like i said though i did not do any research okay so nili wanna do i go make money and i hear so many people say that i make money me jenga manumba and i buy cars and all that and then i come back but when you go there uno hey reality hits the struggle is real so for the first three years i was focused on just working and working and working okay then you know you're human you become lonely and all that and and again we we had separated we had issues and then it took uh so we are not like really married okay uh so and again the distance yes yeah so after three years i met another guy in the u.s yes so just like no no no no yes he is kenyan okay just like any other person it's just you and your job yes and then after three years you meet this guy yes kenyan yes he's kenyan um and then you know let me tell you how do i explain there's no akunawatu kushikana you buy groceries and then you go home where you are like there's no one time yeah so it gets very lonely and there's so many people who commit suicide by the way and unfortunately is your neighbor at home jewish so you don't even know they're working they're the the way they work you know what time they're in or not so hardly do you get what we engineered on a coffee coin so it gets very lonely so i got into a relationship and um and after five years i really wanted something to belong that time after uh four years new me and sarkozy i need more this is more i'm an artist so i needed more uh so i thought i there's more to see kitty akufanya around because can you only find a journal out of another and you know the following day so nikapatam total i really wanted a child wow i really wanted a child i needed that i needed to belong or maybe for my own sanity yes so but i was very very clear that i i didn't want to get married not that um i was hot i was angry and i needed to heal but i didn't want to get into a relationship nikki dunganyam to my vitokama yeah so i knew and i told that guy you know this is not leading to marriage um and i think it's very very important to be clear interesting so it's clear you know and uh and it's very very difficult to raise kids in the u.s the disconnect that i saw there is that um you're you're both kenyan the parents are kenyan but in a different place which language atachukwa english but they're lost you know you know this they have their roots yeah so they need to know okay fine mimi kappa says in wakiku so they need to learn uh language amanini and also that is you know it differs from one person to the other so no no i'm totally confused because i don't care how much you speak their language you'll never be american true because the roots are causing kenya then you come to kenya you have the disconnect because you're too american so i i there's that confusion so maybe i'm totally yes uh you continued working yes in total this period i'm totally changing how are you surviving okay maybe come on we may invite your mom so you pay or even daycare yeah or you if you have friends or night shifter mini com channel so we switch the kids let me tell you i used to drop that boy nina nikhilia i'm sorry it's not it's not easy we're doing you want to let our total go because here we still have that uh what do you call it a a child is raised by the community yes yeah but who come to nuacco okay yeah so usiano alicia maulin between you and these guys baby daddy busy and and again because uh we weren't i i never wanted to settle down so i like sequoia there was no emphasis on italy so it was not one of my priorities okay yeah so at what point did you decide now you know what i need to hit back i need to go back to my country i want to go back to kenya yes yes what is this the defining moment one uh my children the one the the ones that i had left they kept on calling me so i thought something was wrong okay and then but in my head you know back in your head when i say my you have to make it yes and you know i think we need to change what success is true because yes that's the correct word because it's different from you uh to me now um yeah so when they kept calling i was like i may be they're not okay and also i felt the disconnect i wasn't you know checking on them like attack many kiwangalia sometimes i call one malala so and then now the thatcher system and you know out of an exterior it's going to be the same so i decided i wanted to come back in 2013 but nilo 50 50. but coming back in 2017 i was starting that's what i wanted and so many people came you know do you really want to go back to kenya i can't have any life he had any now coming from this comfort of nice roads nice apartments yeah yeah but and then also i felt like i'm not leaving my purpose okay and i have one of my mentors and i to a reverend john donglo a canadian beer when you have a talent or when you wake up there's something he had for you to achieve either to change nations ahmad who changed my childhood william or tattoo and so you need to really think now or decide what you want and he helped me because even him he was in britain and he came back and he's doing very well so i nicosimo i know what i needed to come back to kenya and also i felt very caged because i was not able to do what i love i tried putting up the the radio but again you have to make money you cannot mix the two it's going to be very hard so i thought uh you know what what's your tuning day okay watch your tuning day so i decided to come back and i didn't even tell my parents oh i did not tell them no one knew so i told my sister akuje and because i'm sending a password i used to send a lot of uh any puzzles boxes zavito so they can be a monyana letter and they're going to mombasa so you have to be there no home okay so she bought the story and she came so my mom was calling me takuya too so my sister told me sit at okapa until your birthday because in guanine miami in tacoma but before my birthday suddenly i had friends like you know boy and another guy so they picked me at the airport and let me tell you joyce the feeling of when i saw when i landed and then i saw caribou kenya yes let me tell you it was like a rebuff my good lord i don't have to do somebody telling me i'm black so caribou kenya was like oh my god it felt so good so any kind of seven years you never came back home no i didn't come back okay i did not come back because again nearly two no no watch or two let me tell you hey so um so i came and the shock is my parents and my kids well got one and younger like i'm a ghost because they were happy you know there were mixed emotions yes and so by this time we were talking to our merudi cuisine our mom yes yes why did they leave their dad's place it's very hard for a guy to raise you know for women it's it's natural yes but for a guy who or shanghain and i'm not saying they don't do it but it's it's a harder in any when you have to make money and then fix the keys and and all that so what could we do to home which i was okay with okay yeah i was okay with that so wakaru d home wow nice yes wow so yes so oh it was a it was a very very humbling moment as you know sila zima went in kunaweng you know in in in jail yes when getting into drugs and let me tell you joyce it's very easy to get into drugs in the states okay because you know there's that akuna yo unity uh checking on on somebody and you see the the workload uh sana akuna time equal relax you're not balancing the two so the minute okay off on a by two six pack you chew a blue black out for you either you you know you you reboot your mind and there are so many cases when in ming so i was very very blessed to come back and my parents were very excited to see me so and i had prepared because i knew ah kenya what anger yeah i'm coming to that how did you manage our expectations i was ready i was ready to attanga yes why have you even come back home eh nagari yes so why would i pressure myself to please you i know my journey yes and i know i have so many friends who are running i'm there please don't believe because i mean you know people can be mean now how i do my shaykh so i was prepared i was like watanga and they did they talked and i that didn't stop me because i i i was ready and very ready you wanna go downgrading but they they could not have pushed me to do something that i was not able to or something sita sidney tafanianusu and then i'm left and then bad watanga so so i was okay yes any explanation oh you got two yes or three two two two more from the same guy yeah the one we called baby daddy yes so um us i'm starting again in kenya yeah demand for explanation no no because he knew and um we were not we were not an item and then to look to my pathways for so long i mean uh it was a huge uh uh those were seven years yeah so wesley i know kunawa tryna go there but they're lying you know people move on so it was not a big deal he came and i took out alec mia wow you know joyce when you get over somebody yes the drama you're two adults so move on you know it is what it is so yeah akuna and even him he had moved on you know he he was married so the akukuna nashida i used to be very a i was in the know of whatever was happening in kenya nazila programs and aquila quito so i remember uh in order they invited me for for mo for the morning show because i used to watch them learning so so many people totally do evil so i started you know getting what one anita tv stations just to talk about lafayette uh kenyan america and um transition and all that and then i have people like you who we've known for so long so to now anger you know the art is still the same yeah and then i bought so ebola you know voiceovers so it kind of like it was coming back to new york then um i have i became a musician by the way well i i have recorded music was in your name okay those songs and i by the way great respect now reverend john and i stayed with those songs for five years in the states i did not record until i came back to new york idea when i was in radio and he had opened the upper studio i know you can sing so okay record and that was it he never i never played anything wow nice yeah that's equivalent eco i have one song on youtube i haven't done the video but the music is there i have very good friends in radio and niches here so i'm grateful to god amen yes and now this is what i was i thought about and i and i wanted like i'm not limited i can act which i love i can sing i can do radio you know i'm flexible i can be able to raise kids because my parents are there i have friends so it's not like what do you call it that you know cage yeah stay tuned you can be flexible okay yeah so are you still staying with your parents no no i moved out oh okay i moved out and i thank god joyce um even if what i wanted to quote anything else this is to praise god amen and i know i'm here to encourage so many people even women raising their kids on their own and sometimes unowner women are left but when you look at the family setting so you need to take care of these kids you're making money you need to pay bills and you need to raise these kids so it becomes very hard because when you have a husband the husband can go to work and then uh for the women i want to encourage you know i want us to encourage ourselves yes honestly this is just i cannot explain like an attendant so uh don't don't be to yourself ask for help i've learned that you know we never ask for help true sometimes we keep quiet it is reality so it's part of life and we should not judge because we are very quick to judge only monarchically i may change how you don't know the situation you know you don't know what somebody you don't know my story yes so to ji encourage and let us not give up we can still raise good children yeah true numb to us and then you're you're stuck there yeah oh i'm not beautiful you know so you pick up your pieces and then you carry on come among another husband well and good eve hadja panga that was the only one you keep moving so would you love to date again i am imagine situ how now because uh i've been single in baganikuja um and and my focus was i had probably like four four years now yes it's four years nili kuana for kasana with what i had to deal with at that point yes so sijui you know dating is work depends on how you look at it anyway is there a potential there i'm here no i'm kidding i don't know okay assuming you started dating who is your ideal man you must be a walk would you do away when you're yes uh because you know women we tend to unlea honestly at where i am in age and name cena your energy i i have no time so you need to to be sober and you need to know what you want number two of course you have to be good fearing i will interchange that god fearing fast oh yes i thought so too yeah not fearing first and then sausage and then you have to be kind you have to i don't know my cousin told me when you're dating somebody they don't have to like your kids they can just you know welcome too awkward too good to the kids because yeah you know and sometimes we put pressure and people are different maybe at a hazardous but and i think you have to be mature very mature that sitaki drama okay have no time or energy for drama and you have to be very secure okay i cannot have an insecure guy my insecurities anyway yes look at this camera behind me talk again to that lady and sanasana because you've lived in kenya you've lived in the u.s yes so you can talk to that person maybe who wants to go to the us because i believe there are challenges and there are good things in the u.s yes and also talk to that single woman because you're one yes talk to that married woman because you ever got married yeah and yeah we summarize this thing before we with melissa yes i need to encourage somebody when i give birth to my daughter and i i think he may watch our journey after a day after neil young oh god yes and let me tell you joyce i don't think i've gone through what you call it god bladder little girl bladder surgery which is also very painful but that made me not work for almost a month um and i i'm totally wanna leah kablatanim so every place you move in every part of your uh whatever body you move in a perfect it was very very painful and i used to pray number and nippon you know to take the pain away but i'm able to walk but who is that like our god yani mungo you know the people that play with god and the people that say there's no god because it's ready for them yes yeah because there's a god mm-hmm i didn't go for surgery because i was uh supposed to go for nini but sequenta alinapona and the pain it kinda mm-hmm so i want to encourage somebody that took okio nam to a messy mama there are so many things what was my pizza but now to the married i'll start with the married women yes because they have an issue with us i used to lead a i was the secretary wakanisa and i was the youngest and they told me because because you guys you you have more experience with kasama panna but i used to see born an abia and you're there talking and doing your business they are very insecure and i would see my bonus attacker you know so i want to say this not every woman and i'm not saying okana what anyways but not unless joyce i give you a reason for me to doubt for you to doubt me respect me it's only that nisai sinabuana single uh single ladies i mean this then the what a single you know nakama in a demean ladies that or even the guys because they're guys who raise their kids on their own so a deal with that person on on a one-on-one level now to them men and women who are raising their children on their own you have to put god fast and your cup of tea you know the way to make good decisions you how to raise your kids and how even to pay your bills and also now to the society at large let us be kind stop judging people on a judge you know you put a tag or a name to somebody you do not know what they are dealing with so just be kind yeah and also joyce by the way before i forget i had a foundation oh okay and no garywoman foundation and i used to send sanitary towels and underwear to school girls and i also gave a uniform to the school the boys because i realized better can you imagine atikunawato hawana underwear my heart broke my heart broke and i would urge when you were across the two because there's so many you know they're cheap you know they are affordable please say dear your neighbor amam to muay guinea then just a like a yeah go to the patina food bank we had a food bank while over to needy through waiting more where the mokimani foundation tuna patiawatu mm-hmm so keonam to ananda you know don't don't judge be kind if you can help please help we are here to chicanamikono joisomenita i know we've been friends but i don't take this for granted yeah so it is humbling and i and you know i appreciate very much for that and keep doing what you're doing i love it thank you keep shining keep oh my god um thank you very much for this chance and um let us not give up true let us not give up carry on speak out when you're going through uneducated i know that you're going through a hard time mm-hmm and i cannot reach out maybe you cannot time you can't be a jewish if you know somebody is going through a tough time yeah please help reach out the only the only thing uh what a sema nyamazakamaruta sema a good thing amahutam's idea just keep quiet but if you're able to help or if you have you know you can pull a few friends to come and save this person please do it we all need each other go to the bottom with thoria we need each other so please let us be kind mm-hmm let us reach out whatever is going out in the country uh to say diane to tower yes thank you so much that last problem okay okay is an island oh okay thank you so much and god bless you [Music] you

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Id: rpZ47VK422k

Length: 53min 7sec (3187 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 18 2021