I Broke My Computer Over Calculus

before we get started with this completely unhinged rant look at this this is fan art from at casey mccoll and redspickit on instagram they look sick as hell and i wish i could draw like them so if you want to send me fan art consider checking out my instagram at story time with jeff or the discord server which has a dedicated art channel both are linked in the bio with that on to the video this is the story of my summer also known as the most stressful and utterly meaningless four months of my life so far but i wasn't just sitting on the couch watching horror movies on netflix oh no i spent those four months relearning the entirety of single and multi-variable calculus from scratch for a university placement test this in itself shouldn't have happened but my university wouldn't accept any of my school or ap credits so in order to take higher level classes i had to test into them this is stupendously annoying because first off i have to review for these tests because i haven't taken some of the corresponding courses like biology in years and secondly it meant that the 12 ap credits i had from getting 12 fives and no i'm not lying here's the proof eight of which i didn't even take the class for and just self-studied for the ap in the hopes that i get credit for them in college well all of that time and money which is around twelve hundred dollars was wasted but what can you do i'd sold my soul to the university by applying early decision which illegally obliged me to attend the school if i got in even if it wasn't my top choice my college counselor had told me that was a bit too brain dead to get into any of my dream schools and like the massive kentucky fried chicken that i was i listened to her and abandoned my hopes on the side of the freeway either way i still had to prepare for these tests because there was no way i was going to sit through calc 101 after taking two years worth of calculus in high school the placement tests were administered right before the school year started so i decided to spend my entire summer cooped up inside like some sort of gremlin hunched over the computer memorizing a college calculus textbook i'd pirated because i'm too broke to afford the thousand dollar cost of buying a real one and that wasn't pleasant it probably saved me from contracting the virus but i wouldn't say it was good for my health definitely not my mental health here's an example why in multivariable calculus you can have a domain d which for the purposes of this video will simplify to be an arbitrary region in 3d space now how many ways do you think you can describe this giant blob two three maybe five well it's a little higher than that allow me to list them for you you can have a bounded domain an unbounded domain a closed domain a non-closed domain an open domain a piecewise smooth domain a simple domain a horizontally simple domain a vertically simple domain a connected domain a simply connected domain an axially symmetric domain a parameterized domain and a map domain more commonly referred to as the image of the domain or just the image or the image of the map or the range or the range of the map that's 15 ways people often joke that lawyers are some of the most anal people in the world because they manage to turn a sentence into a paragraph but i feel like mathematicians will take that same sentence and turn into a 12 volume historical compendium that manages to use every single word in the merriam-webster english dictionary but strangely enough when it comes to variables mathematicians are stumped take lowercase n for example it's the index for a sequence or series it's the unit normal vector for a single variable function it's the generic normal vector for a multi-variable function it's the winding number and it's one of the most commonly used generic variables uppercase t is most commonly the unit tangent vector for a single variable function and the period with a vector subscript it becomes a generic tangent vector in the direction of set vector with an n subscript it's the nth taylor polynomial capital phi is one of the angles in spherical coordinates the upper surface of a vertically simple solid region and the x component function of a map capital phi with some bars on top is a map how literally how do mathematicians manage to make things this convoluted if you manage to describe a blob in space in 15 different ways why can one letter represent five different things i know you're limited to the latin and greek alphabets but can you at least put a squiggle or something over the line to symbolize that was different or maybe just maybe you could open your squinted eyes that you have from solving equations in your darken basement all day to avoid the tax collectors coming after you because math won't pay your bills and realize that there are more than two alphabets in this world cyrillic slovak and runic scripts all exist hell the entirety of mandarin chinese is literally just different symbols how in the name of the internal soviet premier yosef vyasaranovic stalin did you manage to mess this up and as if slogging through nearly 2 000 pages of inconsistent incoherent symbolic jumble that's more confusing than the minecraft enchanting language wasn't enough there was the issue of actually learning the material after i'd read it because there's a lot of formulas and theorems to memorize i decided to use quizlet the last time i'd used it was in junior gear to memorize spanish vocab and back then it was okay i think i actually learned more new words from calculus in spanish but that's a small gripe compared to the big problem i have with quizlet because quizlet and i didn't think this was possible is having a mid-life crisis like the average office worker who turns 40 and suddenly realizes that their only contribution to society is consuming natural resources and making some numbers in a database go up because they're just cogs in a giant corporate machine quizlet has come to realize that its sole purpose in life is to be an online flash card thingy as the middle-aged man suddenly buys a convertible sports car gets hair implants and picks up as many new hobbies as possible quizlets try to do the same thing they've added all sorts of quizzes games and network integration so you can refer people to quiz it like it's your favorite high school drug dealer hiding behind the bleachers and just like the middle-aged man they failed miserably at every single new thing they've done they didn't realize that anyone beyond the age of 12 doesn't use flashcards to memorize words for a spelling test so why have a spelling quiz they didn't realize that nobody in their right mind wants an ai driven learning progress tracker that first off doesn't even work and secondly feels like it's some sort of useless biometric instrument on your fitbit that measures the saltiness of the sweat you generate as a function of the amount of green you see in a day and to top it all off just like the middle-aged man losing his office job after he's become irrelevant after spending all his time on his useless hobbies quizlets managed to script the only thing they were good at making flash cards the display doesn't work because for some reason the default window is small enough that the arrow keys move the whole card side to side instead of changing cards the option for which side is up doesn't make any sense because some idiot decided to put answer with instead of just shown side or something simple like that nobody wants to listen to that god awful bootleg google translate robot thing read you your terms because it mispronounces any word more complicated than something you'd find in a wow wow wubsy episode and then there's the text editor for the cards that has less features than the one that used in the 8-bit apple 2 computer from 1977. you can type uppercase lowercase and some greek characters that's it if you want anything more you have to pay 35.88 a year except that only gets you offline access and no ads the latter of which you can get around with pretty much any good ad blocker so in reality you need to pay 47.88 a year to get bold italicization underlining and adding pictures also known as stuff that word has had for the last 37 years sure there's other things but half of them are redundant filler and the other half are as worthless as trying to bail a sinking ocean liner with a teaspoon unlike word however there's no support for case-sensitive greek letters no unicode no superscripts no subscripts no equations and no different fonts in other words nothing remotely worth that much of your money oh and as if this couldn't be a more blatant cash grab by a company flailing like an epileptic in the hope that they'll somehow become relevant again there's a third way you can waste your money on this piece of bloatware quizlet premium which lets you buy study guides that you could have found just by googling them the methamphetamine abusing inbred man-child behind this identity crisis having sellout is this lego minifigure of a man who's so bland that nobody would recognize him if he was on a missing person's poster matthew goldsbach he's the human equivalent of a sock photo a toast sandwich or a beige paint job he has no redeeming hell he has no discernible features whatsoever besides a hairline that's running away from him faster than his wife words cannot describe how much i'd like to bean him over the head with a frozen pool noodle but moving past that moving past the inherent frustrations of calculus and the way i learned it we arrive at test day a day four months and countless torn hairs in the making and how did it begin with me realizing that in order to take the placement test i had to fill out a google form three months ago so i emailed the math department they didn't respond i called every single faculty member in the math department that taught undergraduates none of them picked up i emailed my academic advisor she didn't respond and i called just about everyone in the administration whose name i could pronounce until i got to the secretary of the assistant dean of students she passed me through to the math department who then opened up the test for me because it was now five in the afternoon and my concentration was starting to slip like a quadriplegic lemur on ice i decided to just get the test done before i completely lost my mind and started ranting about the consequences of the industrial revolution long story short i failed 14 out of 68 20.6 percent but the way i managed to fail was spectacular i got every single multi-variable question correct on the multiple choice section so all of the difficult stuff and then manchester screw up easy stuff like series and sequences and then came the free response questions somehow a good third of them were number theory questions even though that wasn't on the test description but regardless i managed to solve almost all of them and scan them in as i was about to upload them however i realized that being the massive brain dead clot that i was i'd scan all of the questions as one pdf instead of separating them into separate ones like the quiz had asked so i opened adobe acrobat to separate the pdf and what do i find but a login screen apparently when i wasn't looking my mom had logged into my adobe account on her phone to scan some documents even though free apps like camscanner exist and she can get adobe for free by recounting it as a work expense and that had logged me out keep in mind through all this that i pay for adobe out of my own pocket with youtube money so after being redirected a couple hundred times because i forgot my password i finally managed to log in only for my computer to brick and much like a brick i was so tempted just to hurl it through my window and see what it'd do to the lawnmower people who hadn't shut up since 6am this morning after spending 5 minutes trying to get it unfrozen i figured there was nothing to do but to hard reboot it now because this is my workstation and not my laptop it's got a 1tb hdd for all your computer nerds out there and that means it takes forever to boot up this normally isn't a problem but on this occasion with my time sensitive test it definitely was by the time it booted up i still had a good five minutes left to edit and submit everything but that wasn't going to happen not discord spotify my vpn word sticky notes firefox opera razer chroma razer synapse and the adobe creative cloud had anything to say about it with all these apps booting up on start my computer fans were screaming almost as loud as i was after shoving that stupid bear back in this tunnel beating the nitro out of the wampus and throwing addison ray's podcast in the trash where it belonged say no i hate that girl she has no likable features whatsoever besides being rich enough to afford enough plastic surgery and implants to turn her into a first silicon-based life form that still doesn't have a personality after all of that i got back to the quiz but it was too late i arrived just in time for that stupid canvas notification that goes ipsy's time's up to pop up and stop me from submitting anything at all in my free response section and then i got my result 14 out of 68 enough to get me into calc 101 and possibly qualify me for some learning disability resources certainly enough to tell me that i'd wasted my whole summer so yeah i don't know check out my socials like and sub if you want to or something proton plays roblox just handed me a full gapple bees menu in the subway and i'm too exhausted i don't care see ya [Music] you

Channel: Storytime With Jeff

Views: 724,036

Keywords: calculus, learning, fun, math, funny, story, storytime, hilarious, irl, vlog, meme, warzone, call of duty, cold war, black ops, mobile, minecraft, fortnite, among us, fall guys, gamer, game, gaming, egirl, gamer girl, compilation, rich, advice, pog, college, study, teaching, zoom, collaboration, cameo, lemonade, xxl, debate, presidential, commentary, star wars, gameplay, leaked

Id: hN0yBctuMqU

Length: 11min 56sec (716 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 02 2020