How to Write a Good First Line

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“The boats arrived in springtime, carrying the bodies of headless men.” I once built a story entirely around that one sentence. I didn’t know anything else about the characters or plot beyond that, but I itched to discover them. I’d been following the advice of a creative writing professor, who had told me, "Write a first line that makes you want to know more.” I became obsessed with studying first lines. After learning the openings of classic novels, I went to Barnes & Noble and thumbed through books on the center tables—the new releases and bestsellers of different genres. From my research, I composed a simple thesis: The first line of a story should create a sense of character, conflict, setting, mood, theme, or style—or any combination thereof. Most importantly, it should make the reader ask questions. In analyzing examples, I’m going to simplify what makes a good first line into four possible ingredients: questions, character, imagery, and theme. Some sentences utilize only one of these; others, several. You’re looking for a sentence that pushes readers to read the second. Questions are the most powerful ingredient in a first line. It’s whatever makes the reader go, “I NEED to know what happens next.” Octavia Butler’s Kindred opens with this: “I lost an arm on my last trip home.” Immediately, I crave to learn more about this incident and the narrator. A question might also arise from an oddity, as in one of the most famous first lines of all time: “It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” That’s from George Orwell’s 1984. The cold weather provides atmosphere, but it’s the “striking thirteen” that captures our attention—something is slightly off here. You might also recognize this question-raising line: “It was a pleasure to burn.” Who is doing the burning, and why is it such a pleasure? And what are they burning? If you’ve read Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, you’ll know that this sentence conveys the central conflict of the story—that of the main character burning books. In addition to oddities, you can raise questions through conflict, such as conflict between characters, as shown in Stephen King’s The Gunslinger: “The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.” We have two people at odds with each other, one fleeing and one following. Who are the man in black and the gunslinger? How did this conflict come to be? Conflict might also take the form of a crime or misdeed, such as theft, arson, arrest, or escape. A character is doing something they’re not supposed to be doing, or they’re just caught in the middle of a bad situation. Here are a few examples: “Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested.” “The first thing I did was, I stole a body.” “He wakes to the sound of sirens.” “The building was on fire, and it wasn’t my fault.” Opening with a character involved in something illegal or taboo is sure to generate questions because it promises future trouble. The most common type of conflict in first sentences involves death, whether that be a natural death, murder, suicide, or the imminent demise of the protagonist: “This is how I kill someone.” “Maman died today.” “Marley was dead: to begin with.” “I like to think I know what death is.” “People often shit themselves when they die.” First lines that involve death can also blend in other elements, such as setting and tone: “It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York.” As humans, we are constantly preoccupied by our own mortality. Death may be a common trope in first lines, but it works on me every time—it makes me want to read the book. A writer can also generate questions by introducing a significant event or character in the protagonist’s life. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline hints at the story’s plot right away: “Everyone my age remembers where they were and what they were doing when they first heard about the contest.” We get the sense that this contest is a huge deal, and we wonder why that is and what it involves. Instead of an event, the narrator might note a specific person who changed their life forever: “If I’d known I was about to meet the man who’d shatter me like bone china on terra-cotta, I would have slept in.” In what way, exactly, did this man shatter her? We’re anticipating a tense interaction between the narrator and the man. By zeroing in on these moments, the authors are calling attention to the catalyst that propelled the story into action—the moment that divides the character’s life into “before” and “after.” Oddities, conflict between characters, crime, death, and important moments—they all evoke questions that make readers want to find the answers. Many first lines focus on character, oftentimes introducing the protagonist by name, like in Neil Gaiman’s American Gods: “Shadow had done three years in prison.” Although this is a relatively simple introduction, we have an interesting name followed by the question of how this character got in prison in the first place, as well as what he’ll do now that he’s out. The author might also highlight the protagonist’s most unusual quality. Guess what character this first line refers to: “All children, except one, grow up.” That’s J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan. When it comes to first lines, character introductions often convey the tone of the narrative voice. You might recognize this voice in particular: “If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.” Holden Caulfield, from J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, has a distinctive way of speaking that is immediately recognizable, even within the first line. Rather than introducing the protagonist, a first line might put the spotlight on a key secondary character instead: “I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice—not because of his voice, or because he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument of my mother’s death, but because he is the reason I believe in God; I am a Christian because of Owen Meany.” Given that the novel’s title is A Prayer for Owen Meany, it’s no surprise that the opening idea centers on him. We’re able to not only visualize the character’s appearance, but we also get a taste of the narrator’s voice. We have questions about how Owen was involved in a woman’s death and how he turned the narrator into a Christian. Drama surrounding a character attracts our attention, but so does humor: “Daisy wore a clingy black dress with a neckline so deep it could tutor philosophy.” The narrative voice surprises us with a joke, and it’s that writing style that keeps us reading. C.S. Lewis does this, too, in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader: “There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.” We’ve got a secondary character’s name, but also a hint of his personality: he’s badly behaved enough to deserve a horrible name. When focusing on character in a first line, writers typically establish the point of view, whether first, second, or third person. We’re shown what’s interesting, what’s unique about that particular character. Imagery is another technique authors employ in snagging the audience’s attention. This might include a description of the setting or an important item. Oftentimes, these visuals generate a certain mood. Take this setting-oriented first line from Stephen Crane’s The Red Badge of Courage, published around 1895: “The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting.” We’re given this haunting, almost cinematic image as an opening, inviting us into the scene. Here’s a more contemporary example from My Absolute Darling, a novel published in 2017: “The old house hunkers on its hill, all peeling white paint, bay windows, and spindled wooden railings overgrown with climbing roses and poison oak.” We might question the importance of this house, why it’s decaying. From this line, we also sense that it’s going to be a more descriptive, literary type of novel. Rather than reveal the larger setting, the author might show a close-up shot of a particular object, one that captures the essence of the story. For example, much of A.S. Byatt’s Possession takes place in libraries, with the plot centering on two scholars researching a pair of Victorian poets. The first line presents a simple image that captures the heart of the story: “The book was thick and black and covered with dust.” The idea of a forgotten tome suggests that there are secrets to uncover here, and we want to know what “the book” is and why it’s significant. You’ll see this focus on a specific object in other genres as well, such as the best-selling thriller The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins, which opens: “There is a pile of clothing on the side of the train tracks.” The statement seems ordinary at first, but several things are happening here: we get that the story is in present tense rather than past, the train tracks are presented as an important setting, and the idea of abandoned objects creates an ominous atmosphere, with abandoned clothes hinting at the idea of missing people. You can establish a lot about a story’s setting, plot, and theme with one simple image. Sometimes it’s not the setting or object that’s unique but rather the way an image is described. Look at this line from William Gibson’s sci-fi novel Neuromancer: “The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.” There have been countless descriptions of the sky across literature, but this sentence really showcases the author’s writing style, in addition to evoking the sci-fi genre with a technology-related metaphor. To create an eye-catching visual, you can take something ordinary and describe it in an unusual way. The final category is theme. Many older novels open with a sweeping statement or an aphorism—a universal truth. Here are three famous opening sentences that use this technique; see if you can name them. “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” 1. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.” Respectively, those quotes are from Anna Karenina, Pride and Prejudice, and A Tale of Two Cities. These sentences are memorable openers in part because they emphasize key themes: family life, marriage, duality. Some modern novels have thematic first lines, too: “History has failed us, but no matter.” “Life is bullshit.” Side note: Curse words can call attention to a first line, too, as they usually add humor and convey the narrative voice. If you decide to open with a sentence that summarizes your theme, be careful about echoing cliché sentiments like “Love conquers all.” Instead, strive to convey a surprising, funny, or brilliantly worded truth—and look to the classics for reference. In conveying the larger theme of a novel, you’ll give the reader a taste of what’s to come. Questions, character, imagery, theme: some books cram a number of these elements into their first lines. Take a look at Yaa Gyasi’s Homegoing: “The night Effia Otcher was born into the musky heat of Fanteland, a fire raged through the woods just outside her father’s compound.” We have a named character, a setting, a conflict (the fire), a secondary character (her father), and the question of “What exactly is the compound?” Here’s another first sentence that packs a punch with information: “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.” That’s from One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Marquez. Again, we have a named character, but the conflict this time arrives in the form of death—the character’s own execution. Then the author highlights a significant event in the character’s life: when his father took him to discover ice, which is an odd concept. I also fell in love with Patrick Ness’s The Knife of Never Letting Go after reading the first sentence: “The first thing you find out when yer dog learns to talk is that dogs don’t got nothing much to say.” It combines narrative voice and humor with the oddity of a talking dog, which also hints at the genre; we know that this isn’t going to be a realistic novel. In addition, the dog is an important secondary character. Shoving more ingredients into your first line doesn’t necessarily make it better, but it’s fun to experiment with different combinations. A side note about opening a story with dialogue: Many editors advise against doing this, the reason being that the reader hasn’t grounded themselves in the story yet. They can’t visualize the setting or character, so the words are just floating in space. Not many books start with dialogue, but there are a few popular novels that have gotten away with it: “What’s it going to be then, eh?” “I’ve watched through his eyes, I’ve listened through his ears, and I tell you he’s the one.” If you want to open with dialogue, I recommend pairing it with a visual element that grounds the reader in the story, as E.B. White does in Charlotte’s Web: “Where’s Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast. Give context to the quote. At this point, you probably feel like you’re drowning in examples, but there’s another factor you should consider when writing your first line: genre. In literary fiction, setting and theme might be the focus, with a lengthier and more complex sentence structure, or one that breaks the conventions of grammar. In genre fiction, narrative voice and conflict are often more important, as is a punchier, attention-grabbing style. So, let’s play a game. I’m going to read six openings. After each one, name the first genre that comes to mind as well as the primary ingredient the opening uses: questions, character, imagery, or theme. “I have a theory. Hating someone feels disturbingly similar to being in love with them.” “The madness of an autumn prairie cold front coming through.” “Kalak rounded a rocky stone ridge and stumbled to a stop before the body of a dying thunderclast.” “The abstract painting on the bedroom wall was new. It had been painted in fresh blood.” “So, the thing is, I come from the world we were supposed to have.” “There was once a boy named Milo who didn’t know what to do with himself—not just sometimes, but always.” Your answers may vary a little from mine, and that’s fine. I identified the genres and ingredients as follows: romance (theme), literary (imagery), fantasy (questions), mystery (imagery), sci-fi (questions/character), and children’s (character). The purpose of this exercise is to show that the genre of a story is often apparent from the book’s first line. It doesn’t need be, but if you can convey the genre right away, embrace it. Having an interesting first line is beneficial, but it is by no means necessary. Plenty of memorable novels have utterly forgettable first lines, and vice versa. In addition, you might decide to change your opening line later on so that it better reflects the heart of the story. And even if you have the perfect, attention-grabbing sentence, it needs to be followed by an enticing opening scene. But those are topics for future videos. As Stephen King states, “An opening line should invite the reader to begin the story. It should say: Listen. Come in here. You want to know about this. How can a writer extend an appealing invitation—one that's difficult, even, to refuse?” Do you have a first line you’re proud to have written? I’d love to hear it in the comments. Whatever you do, keep writing.
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Channel: Diane Callahan - Quotidian Writer
Views: 139,748
Rating: 4.95821 out of 5
Keywords: writing, write, author, novel, novelist, fiction, first sentence, classic novels, Diane Callahan, Quotidian Writer, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, Pride and Prejudice, Anna Karenina, A Tale of Two Cities, story, storytelling, book, literature, literary, reading, read, how to write a good first line, diane callahan, creative writing, writing motivation, how to write
Id: bm9trk8xRpg
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Length: 16min 38sec (998 seconds)
Published: Fri Jan 12 2018
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