How To Win The MINDSET Game | Greator Festival Keynote

the 90 of you that are standing there is a substantial chance that you have not even lived half your life there are people sitting here stressed that they [ __ ] it up they missed their time they misplayed it they shouldn't have and they've got the majority of their life left that blows my mind and the timing was very good for this talk because literally just 24 hours ago i was very much back to my entrepreneurial routes i was in atlantic city new jersey for the last three days and i was set up at a table and i was selling trading cards sports cards and sports stickers the way i learned business when i was 11 12 13 years old but unlike 30 years ago when i was doing it the majority of the cards that i was selling the last three days were v friends cards which is which is an intellectual property that i'm building and that intellectual property those 250 characters are very much the sesame street pokemon characters that i'm going to use for the next 45-50 years to really talk about mindset and perspective the things that i've been doing as gary vee have been really fun for me but i'm one human being one man i also have a very specific style that i communicate and live and that works for many but it doesn't work for everybody watch this how many people here by show of hands the first time you ever saw me on the internet thought that i was a jerk or an [ __ ] raise your hands look hurts but i'm incredibly self-aware i understand why i get it and for the you know the way the world actually works luckily for me that the truth always wins in the end and i'm able to persevere eventually make the right piece of content at the right time that fits for somebody but i'm also aware that for some people because of the cursing or for some other reason i'll never be able to be the person that speaks to them about the true virtues that matter to live a joyful life and thus many years ago i decided i'm going to build an entire universe of characters to do that so that i can start from people when they're three years old all the way to their 99 that's not what i want to talk to you about but those characters enable and represent the things that i want to talk to you about the things that i want to talk about are the things that are hard on a journey to achieve happiness and joy fulfillment whatever one tries to achieve you know i've been thinking about something a lot lately which is a lot of my friends and acquaintances always ask me why i go so hard why i'm pushing so hard you know because i'm very fortunate at this point in my life that i've put some wins on the board i've achieved a couple of things it always reminds me how surprised i am when people ask me this question it reminds me how many people genuinely believe that financial status is the north star their question is almost always baked in the framework of how much money i've acquired or have and i always ponder that it's always so interesting to me how the data the math is black and white on this issue there is absolutely no correlation to one's wealth that maps their happiness this is black and white we continue to have a world that is confused that money buys happiness it continues to be what someone who's hurting thinks is the potion or the anecdote to fix it yet we have unlimited amounts of hundreds of millions of people who prove otherwise we must start there the concept that you're going to buy your way to happiness is the biggest falsity in human society and we must stop doing that [Applause] thank you was getting a little annoying this is a message that's extremely challenging for me to be the person who delivers it almost always when i say that 20 of the comments are easy for you to say that's because most people consume my content today what my high school friends and college friends and friends of my 20 know is i was arguably happier at 29 making 45 000 a year than i am today the process of doing something you actually like is my great addiction the fact that i am able to actually wake up day in and day out day in and day out sleep easily for seven eight hours a night and wake up genuinely excited while always being prepared to grab my phone and know that i have a problem in my 300 person singapore office or something happened in l.a or one of the other 17 businesses that i'm associated with are in trouble i sit on top of almost 3 000 employees and two very large businesses actively as the ceo and then on the board of four others and heavily invested in others and many other things i'm involved with and family and this and that i have plenty going on but the fact that i do what i want to do enables all of it to work this is grounded in something that is the absolute answer for this entire arena the one thing i can absolutely speak on that fundamentally touches every person here is the relationship between self-esteem and insecurity all of the things that you do are based on this if you look at what's really been going on with people for a very long time why when one is sold fear that they believe it versus when they're sold fear that they don't why so few people have a framework of believing in optimism versus protecting themselves with cynicism why people lack patience i can tell you right now that for the majority of people in this room that want something to happen the biggest flaw in their mental framework and perspective is their lack of patience it is why i make so much content around people that are 22 25 35 40 and laughing and joking and trying to some way somehow communicate to them that they are extremely young how many people here are under 50 years old please stand up stand up stand up i want everybody looking around under 50 first of all let's clap up for the over 50 crowd that's sitting and respect our elders [Applause] now now love that now for the 90 of you that are standing there is a substantial chance that you have not even lived half your life if you are under 40 continue to stand please sit 40 to 50. i'll sit as well for this crew given where modern medicine is there's a dark horse chance that you haven't lived a third of your life think about that there are people sitting here stressed that they [ __ ] it up they missed their time they misplayed it they shouldn't have and they've got the majority of their life left that blows my mind it really does every day of my life that blows my mind sit down if you're over 30. 30 and under continue to stand for you [ __ ] [Applause] you know i had this saying i used to do where i would say i would rip my arm off to switch with you because there's so much time so much opportunity but now with tick-tock and you can clip things people have really taken that out of context so i try not to say it as much but my friends if you're standing right now for you even to begin to deploy anxiety against your own self judge your own self that you have not done you did not accomplish you were unable is completely unacceptable [Applause] you have literally the rest of your life in front of you you have foundation as a matter of fact if i actually with all the depths of my heart if i was actually able to give you the a piece of advice if i had one though i think everyone's situation is different i would try to get you to just enjoy the next 10 years more not go as hard as you think i would tell you to go because you have that much time you have that much time most of society's rules and traditions are based on when people were dying at 50 years old most of the rules of when you should get married and what you should do and what you should have accomplished is literally based on the last century's dna you are so young [Applause] you have every opportunity technology is exploding at a speed where your life can change in a minute on a decision and literally literally the only thing that is [ __ ] you up is you worry about what other people think about your life whether that's your parents your friends me [Applause] please stop doing that wear crazy rose suits i like it it's very nice do random [ __ ] try new things you have your whole life in front of you i i couldn't be happier for you if you're standing right now you have a hundred years to live that's actually how it's gonna work out for you and you need to start acting like it sit down [Applause] it's real let's talk about why you actually listen to somebody else's point of view on your life let's talk about why somebody else's point of view on your life is something you're willing to accept i am fascinated by people's ability to take strangers comments on a social media post and allow it to make them upset [Applause] you post something and you're happy to post it and then somebody literally leaves a comment that you're unattractive you're stupid like literally high school and junior high teasing and your entire day sometimes week sometimes month is completely ruined by a human being who is on the other side on their phone who is hurting so much with their own life that the need for them to make it palpable is for them to take time to go to other people's lives and try to tear them down to make themselves feel better this is what i call [Applause] let's stop clapping so i can finish this one this is what i call a circle of insecurity a circle of insecurity the concept that that is happening is not facebook's fault is not instagram's fault it's not tick-tock's fault it's not we have become infatuated with blaming the platforms for our own shortcomings until humans decide to lean into accountability and stop blaming platforms and politicians people will continue to be unhappy [Applause] let me tell you something that is the most interesting secret of all time i'm so this is my newest thought that i've not finished i'm still in the laboratory of my own brain and heart but i'm gonna try it here in germany i've been sleeping on something for about six months and i'm really excited about it because it's super true i'm just trying to get fully there so it just in my soul because i think you have a sense i only know how to communicate in improv form there is no slides there is no deck there's only this and and so i often don't talk about things until it's fully ingrained but i think i'm there and it's something i want to tell you that is very much in line with what i've just been talking about which is this concept of who we are how we roll why are we affected by what and how where do we go and how it's always been the same thing as if people were unhappy before social media as if right i think everyone here at this conference needs to leave knowing one very important thing this one very important thing and that is you are not tricking anyone you are not tricking anyone people continue to live life posturing sharing photos that they're so happy and crushing it having dinner and saying everything's great my favorite one buying [ __ ] that they can't afford to make it seem like they can afford it and living basically their entire life as if the [ __ ] that they're trying to project is actually working think about how many times you've gone home after being with three or four friends and have had a conversation with one other friend about a different friend who was posturing but you both knew it wasn't true think about how the world's currency is actually working the real obvious thing to me is if we all knew that the only people you ever trick are the only people you don't want to be hanging out with in the first place i think a lot of things in our world would change it is time [Applause] my friends why why are we trying to impress people so much why for what we must really work on not allowing outside validation to dictate our lives you love yourself is real the problem is people don't love themselves the reason everyone's trying to do it is they don't because they've decided because it was put into their brain that their worth is based on things that are very surface level their appearance their bank account and lots of other dumb [ __ ] we have such an opportunity as the world is changing see everyone's paying attention right now and they're focusing on the media landscape changing and the negatives that come along with it the politics the nationalism they focus on that what they don't realize is in parallel the platforms also create the opposite this is the first time since the printing press where we can collectively change the perspective of how the world works it's true [Applause] but the confusion for almost everyone is very similar which is there is a relationship in the world between being selfish and being selfless now this is where it gets very interesting for me too many people feel as if it's one or the other one of the biggest challenges in the world today is that people think the world is about ore one of the biggest challenges in the world today is that people think the world is about or it's this or that it's them or us it's this or that when the entire world is always and people are so obsessed with things to be black and white when the world is purely gray and so what i'm very very fascinated by is everyone here genuinely taking a step back and having a conversation with themselves about them being selfish and them being selfless most people's relationship with those two things is an extreme challenge some people are inherently selfish and they struggle with it because they think it's bad some people are absolutely selfless and they see it as tremendously noble but when they deliver on it on too big of an extreme they create subconscious resentment to everyone that they're bringing value to and then it manifests in vulnerabilities later down the line if you are able to actually understand selfish and selfless behavior and find balance within both of those for yourself you can start creating an incredible mental framework to be able to navigate the world if everybody was able to bleed a little more selfless if they were definingly selfish and for the selfless people if they weren't so noble on paper and could understand that they need to be selfish to themselves to be able to be selfless we could have a much happier world please leave with that today for sure [Applause] it's a big one [Applause] for me everything i've ever wanted selfishly is happening because of my aggressive selflessness a funny thing happens people always talk about i want to build a brand like you gary i want to build a brand i'm like okay they're like i want to build a community i'm like okay i'm a very weird dude and what that means is a lot of times i'll go and audit what that person's doing when i tell you 99 out of 100 times when somebody's crying about not building a big enough profile that when i go on their account that 98 of their content is selfish as if you are entitled to followers as if you're entitled to people buying your [ __ ] as if you're entitled to likes just by existence just by posting you should be getting it the entitlement in our society is extraordinary the accountability is equally extraordinary in the negative the sheer lack of accountability in the human race today is staggering we are so good at telling everybody and the world what's wrong with everybody else besides ourselves we love to point fingers we hate a [ __ ] [Applause] thumb there is nothing there is nothing more obvious to me than that happiness starts with accountability my life is happy because i think everything in my life is my fault all of it it is the most liberating truth of all time of course i'm logically understanding that there's other people that there's other variables that there's things i don't control but i'm completely in control to what i do how many people here have employees raise your hand raise your hands higher employees here's here's my favorite one about people that employ people they're the boss they have employees they sit around and complain about their employees 24 7 or often and they're in control of firing them fire them yeah by the way you know what was the best part of that line none of the bosses wanted to clap we suck currently at accountability we suck at it and for a lot of people here it's the answer to the trivia question when you actually understand it it's actually fundamentally true you are capable of doing anything you are capable of firing your employees you are capable of breaking up in your relationship you are capable of moving to another town another country you are capable of selling your home and downgrading your home to a smaller home so you're always not tight on money you are capable of all of it but we don't like that we like to blame all our problems on putin [Applause] bad day at work [ __ ] putin bad day at home facebook the algorithm and the dictators are not impacting your day-to-day anywhere close to what you've decided your lack of accountability is dictating this is a very focal point of the conversation we must understand this everything you talk about gratitude empathy kindness all things that i live on they all come from me thinking everything's my fault they all come from me knowing i have control everybody when they get into the accountability and control game immediately much of this audience starts thinking to the counterpoint they immediately start thinking to the counterpoint the natural human spirit for most people when told everything is your fault you are in control of everything will start giving you 800 answers to why that's not true for them and that's how they're missing the point when i brought up earlier sell if you are tight on money and you own a home sell your home and live in a shittier home do you know how many people do that on earth no one do you know how logical what i just said is you were tight on cash you were really struggling you own a fairly nice home and your mortgage situation you have an asset and you will not sell it to live in a lesser home because you worry about what people think about that move [Applause] my favorite chess move to this debate is like but gary i can't do that to my kids my counterpoint is that's the best [ __ ] you can do for your kids [Music] we now live in a universe where one of the biggest reasons we have so much anxiety i love when people by the way can we keep that light on i know you guys are doing some production but seeing all these beautiful faces really gets me going really one of the biggest elephants in the room in our entire world this is an american a german a south africa this is a global you know one of the great things of having fans everywhere in the world and reading all the dms it's all the same [ __ ] it's all the same [ __ ] of course there's massive cultural differences and it's interesting because you have to really do the work but at all when you when you file it down when you bake it when you melt it it's all the same [ __ ] it's cultural up here but just keep blending it it's all the same here and when i tell you when i say moving to a lesser nice house and giving your kids some adversity is the best thing the elephant in the world the elephant not in the room the elephant in the world today is for the last 30 years it became popular culture to raise our children and do everything we could to demonize losing and protect them from literally everything thus creating 20 and 30 year olds who are basically zoo animals we kept them in the zoo and then we tell them to go into the wild and then a [ __ ] lion eats them in an hour [Applause] and my favorite part of the whole thing that i'm watching is you have people in their 50s the boomers and older gen x my crew by the way which nobody talks about as if gen x doesn't exist it's just millennial boomers like yo what the [ __ ] we're here you have boomers the people that i [ __ ] i love young millennials and gen z i think they just understand they have way more options and i think people [ __ ] on them i do think that we did wrong by them i do think that they shouldn't blame their parents because that lacks accountability there's a lot to this but let me say this the funniest [ __ ] of the whole thing is we are watching boomers run around the world [ __ ] on these kids when they're the ones who [ __ ] parented them like gary i mean i had a friend the other day he's like gary my kid my kid is like can't [ __ ] like he's he's a mess like he's like scared of everything that i'm like that's because you gave him a trophy when his team came in eighth [ __ ] place now it's super fun to laugh at the kids let me promise including myself every person in this arena has a version of that in them as well this is a game of insecurity of course you're insecure at 28 years old when your parents behavior their whole life showed you that they didn't believe that you could they didn't believe that you could you start believing that you can't either if they're protecting you in every step of the way they're telling you i don't think you can do it thus you believe it we have that as 30 year olds and 40 year olds and 50 year olds and 60 year olds and 70 year olds i know this because what i do for a living is read what people say at a scale that would make this collective room head spin it's what i do for a living six seven eight hours a day i am consuming ungodly amounts of information on how people are reacting to things what they think what they believe and then i go deeper into my own content and other content that i see behind the scenes on the world is this close to being happy and it feels like it's this close from being happy and this is why i'm so motivated i'm so motivated because almost everybody is sitting around dinner tables saying dumb [ __ ] like it's never been this bad i don't need to remind anybody in this room it's been worse this world is actually dangerously close it is it's one of those things when you know it's like so many stories and so many things in life where it seems so far away but it was right there the reason i get inspired to take overnight red-eye flights to an event like this is this is a lot of people that know it's this close this is a lot of people that decide on a weekend that they want to commit to making themselves happier for themselves the people around them and the people that they're bringing into the world it is actually scary how many people are this close the part that's left is we have to talk about the [ __ ] that people don't want to talk about it's fun to talk about the fufi stuff it's not fun to say everything you're upset about is 100 your fault it's awesome to think about you putting in the commitment to give a [ __ ] to come to something like this on a saturday it's not as fun to say what the [ __ ] are you doing here on a saturday do you understand let me say it again it is awesome that you are making the commitment to be here on a saturday the bigger question is why are you here the reason is every piece of the puzzle is not there yet the missing piece of the puzzle is not the stuff that you hear every day the stuff you think about every day if it would be it'd be done the missing part is the part that you're not willing to look at yourself in the mirror for let me be vulnerable and tell you mine now we're getting it now we are getting it three four five years ago i started having a conversation with myself on what i'm trying to push you to do with me right now which is if i'm so [ __ ] great why are there people that exist on earth that don't love me and i don't mean the people that um [ __ ] this [ __ ] that on a 30-second video and they're like this guy's atrocious that doesn't even register for me that's appropriate that's the way it should be i'm talking about people that have worked for me and so i had to go through a real journey over the last five six years and it culminated with the book that i put out last year where i had to talk in depth about the fact that by far the biggest weakness in my life professionally and personally is that i am so positive so optimistic and on stage i'm incredibly candarous as i've been so far but in my real life one-on-one i am atrocious at conflict i hate being the person that starts anything that looks like an altercation when there is an altercation i use my incredible communication talents to get out of it or divert everyone from it immediately and because of that i was incredibly not candarous with anybody in my life not i mean everybody in my life which was fine because i'm incredibly good at picking people to be around me and thus it worked most the time but you don't get to pick all of your family and you don't always have it right and thus the biggest weakness in my career and life has been my inability to be cancerous i have always looked at somebody that shoots it straight as using it as an excuse to be mean i grew up in an environment where one side of my family was incredibly candarous but the candor was always negativity and combative so i didn't understand that candor is quite healthy as a package but they were filling it with poison and thus i demonized the package along with the poison when i tell you my life is dramatically better dramatically better that i am remarkably better as a ceo today that vaynerx has doubled in revenue in two and a half years solely on the back of me being dramatically more candarous and when i tell you if i was a one out of ten four years ago which i was and 10 is like where we all want to be as i stand in front of you here today i'm a five and from one to five my life is 800 times better not fun for me that's not that was hard for me what you understand you have to understand is the thing that i'm trying to accomplish in this talk today you don't see it i did not see it i'm [ __ ] all i do is think about this [ __ ] all i do is think about this [ __ ] for the last 40 years of my life literally since i've been a child all i think about is this [ __ ] they used to be different words you know the feel i remember my teenage years i knew i had something weird i'm like i have the feel i don't know what the [ __ ] it meant but what it meant was my intuition is weird i believe in all sorts of [ __ ] like ghosts and [ __ ] everything just because of my feel you guys half of you can't listen to my podcast because i'm always interrupting everybody because i already know what they're going to say and with all of that because i'm a human being i was completely blind to why people would be upset with me but it was very logical i would literally see employees on a thursday and be like hey ron good to see you keep up the great work have the best weekend and on tuesday ron would come in and be like ryan you're fired and ron would be like what the [ __ ] because i would tell him on thursday have a good weekend da da da what i didn't tell him was for the last two and a half years i was super frustrated with ron because he sucks but i didn't have candor as a weapon everybody here has that too and i didn't see it and i'm very in tune my question is why are you here on a saturday every one of you needs to completely take the thing i didn't see it and yet i knew it i didn't see it and yet i knew it you understand [Applause] this and i and can you do you guys have a good camera let's see can you it's gonna go away but i just got goosebumps because i'm about to tell you something my number one goal in life let alone being a ceo is to eliminate fear [Applause] the thing i'm most proud of even emotional as i sit here right now is that for my sister and my brother and my parents i lived my life to take on all the stress that i was capable that i have the ability to take it all on i am so proud that i am great at eliminating fear for my family then i started doing it for my employees and today where i am on my journey i do it for many people it's something i'm very proud of [Applause] we're getting to the meat of this talk i'm very proud of that however remember earlier when i told you you can't trick people you're tricking no one the lowest point of my professional career by a country mile nothing is even close is when it was very clear to me off of a series of meetings that my inability to give candor though on the facade led to an incredible culture there was my senior leaders not my junior people but my most senior leaders were scared because they didn't know exactly where they sat with me my lack of candor was tricking nobody that was spending those meetings with me that was the low point for me i need you to understand we've got this time together this is it i'm with you right now i need you to understand you know why you're here on a saturday you don't want to tell anybody you don't even want to tell the person you're sitting next to who's the closest to you in the world but they already know the quicker you get naked and tell the world what you suck at is the quicker you don't need to come here on a saturday because let me tell you somebody who was living it at 85 or 90 without the candor part and now is living it at 95 percent do you know why i'm nice do you know why i'm nice it's because i'm happy i don't need anything from you i want nothing from you i need nothing from you financially i definitely don't need anything from you emotionally do you know why people are not nice because they do they're grasping at straws they're they've caught a tiger by the tail and have a relationship with a nice person or they have a nice boss they're scared every single day for that person to leave because that person is the energy of balance because they themselves are super hurt inside they're hurt because they haven't put the poison into the world they've demonized therapy so they don't do that if they've done that they definitely don't tell normal people they peacock and hide behind money behind status behind things my friends the world is this close the reason it feels so far away is occasionally people come around and realize how much fear works how much demonizing others works it makes people feel safe for a second it is the least sustainable thing in the world it is the least sustainable thing in the world you know how i know this i was an atrocious student but there was one class i was always good at history i never understood why and then finally in my 30s i realized oh because my entrepreneurial spirit knew that i would need it to recognize pattern recognition today many people [ __ ] on me or laugh at me because i believe in nfts in a decade in a decade in a decade i'm gonna laugh at them you know how i know this history in 1996 i told anybody that would listen to me that the internet was a very good thing in 1999 when the stock market crashed everybody said the internet was a fad in 2005 in 2007 i was in germany three times for three different talks talking about social media how twitter was phenomenal and i was on a panel with debating somebody and they said to the crowd how many people think twitter is stupid and everybody raised their hand everybody and the person interviewing me said gary why is twitter so important and i said because people are going to tweet that they're walking their dog everybody laughed not at it at me the reporter rightfully said that sounds ludicrous who cares if somebody's walking their dog my reply everyone i suck at almost everything thank you it's true it's people are so confused how the world works everybody in this room pretty much sucks at almost everything except a couple things i suck at almost everything but the one thing that has been with me since i was a child when i listened to my late grandma's stories about me from zero to seven or my mother's it's very clear that dna is a remarkably powerful thing i suck at almost everything except one thing i know you collectively as well as any person that works on earth i understand people i do it comes to me it's natural to me and i'm so grateful for it because i have such deep wants for it to be good i'm in such a good place and i want you to be in a good place and it's a lot a lot easier than people realize it seems so daunting but it's kind of like working out you know figuring it out mentally is like figuring it out physically here is how you get physically more fit you eat healthier and you go to the gym i know you're trying to stop her from eating the popcorn keep eating it it's delicious that was the best i'm like you eat healthier she went in for the popcorn and friends like stop you literally eat better ratios of protein versus carbs and sugar and you go to the gym and you get your heart helped up and you use your muscles and you build up your leg it is actually remarkably simple yet so [ __ ] hard to execute with this [ __ ] you want to win this game tell everybody what you suck at tell them [Applause] instead of talking in thesis i'm going to give you a piece of homework i want everybody to leave this conference i want you to take your cell phone i want you to put it into your face and i want you to speak for 15 minutes or 3 or 9 or 17 and say [ __ ] you've never said before that you have no interest in people knowing [Applause] you want to get value out of this conference you want to accomplish what you came here for i'm going to ask you once again to do the following i want you to leave this conference preferably right the [ __ ] now like actually get up and leave right now take your phone and tell the world what you're not good at what you are not proud that you have done what you are scared of and why and post it on every social network you have and if you don't and i know there's some people like yes thank god i don't have social media for all of you it's even harder you take that video you go into your contacts you start at a arn anderson and you finish sending it tonight to charlie sanderson and you send it to everybody in between who in here is interested in doing that now let's stop right there eight percent are interested of the eight percent who just said they're interested 98 of them will not do it i am going to fly back home tonight smiling because i know three of you are three three three what i just said is [ __ ] impossible i know it's hard it's really hard but it's the answer everything that's not work my man are you going to do it i'll see you there make your video you do it on stage let's go [Music] [Applause] let's see let's see if we believe him [Applause] you ready i'm ready i i i can hear you we can hear you guys we get nice and close go ahead um i feel fear yes but i will do it anyway let's go what's your name lawrence florence hello answer his password is 1097. yes so i i have tik tok instagram linkedin we need your whole video we need yes yes we're gonna have to chop it up here we go okay okay yes we're gonna gather your thoughts i know how to do it yes yes so my biggest hero what not only your biggest fear i want you to talk right now about what you're not good at who you've let down what you're bad at who you've hurt yes what you're scared of everything go okay start with your name my name is lawrence uh i'm i'm gary vee lawrence is in front of all of these people yes man yes yes so lawrence lawrence is making this video because my hypothesis is that our secrets our insecurities the things we're not transparent about are the cancer of our life and it's why we're not as happy as we can be so he's about to make a video that i hope all 8 billion people on earth make eventually and we're gonna we're going to judge him on how much we actually believe him he's going to tell us everything bad go ahead um yes i will do it i i feel how old are you i'm 20. where do you live in austria vienna with whom sorry do you live alone with your parents with my mom with your mom yes no and where's your dad my dad lives 20 meters next to there they're separated yes they're separated how old were you when they separated three years ago three years ago yes but it was the best thing that ever happened because my ever no no no uh the relationship the relationship to my father was better than yes i think that this could be the point um i judged my father because he worked a lot and he didn't took time for me and i said yes dad i want you to leave home or i want to um yes to go away because my mom had the role of my mom and dad yes and so i when when they they were divorced my mom went away from home but in this time i was i was angry at my dad because he never asked me how i am and he never asked me any question and then it was the first time he did it and i was like who is this man or why why is he asking me this and then i said please this is so confusing i don't want you here because it's not normal to me yes but he's my dad yes and when when they got divorced we had a better relationship because my heart was open yes i was hurt but my heart was open i said i i love you you're my dad i'm i love you so much and we talked openly and i said but i was hurt because you didn't ask me um how i am and i accepted it and i i'm i'm yes i love him and i told him that so yes everything got better because i i knew who he was now and not in the past it was okay to me all right that was nice to talk about your dad now let's talk about what you're not doing well what i'm not doing well yes what are you not good i am impatient why because i i have the feeling that i should be here why oh i am here i am here yes so i'm proud of myself but you didn't earn it what but you didn't earn it i earned it you did not why do you feel you should be here when you didn't earn it yes i have a message to spread yes that's the reason but how many tick tocks instagram posts and youtube shorts do you make it once a day once a day if you want to be in front of crowds like this do you think one post a day is going to get you there i should do four yes okay yes because i have a message you mean yes i understand but this is luck you being on this stage is luck me being on this stage is earned yes yes do you understand i understand so what what are you telling your friends that are it's not true what are you today yes telling your friends that isn't true what are you communicating to them about yourself that you think is not true i'm a really honest person okay so i tell them hey i suck dead or what what do you think is my problem now what did i do wrong to you so i have no regrets in front of them so i i speak really um apparently there is good yes and what about with your what about to yourself yes i'm sometimes i put myself down and say i'm not worth it or i i don't have any message to spread or something like that because the world tells me i'm not okay how i am and sometimes i believe this and i would say that's the biggest regret i have because it's not true because i i can decide who i am and that's the reason why i'm here why i listen to you yes what about there's a lot of people watching this on your social now yes who do you want to say sorry to who have you hurt yes and why i have one person in in school it was um he was he didn't shower and i i didn't bully him but you made fun of him a little bit a little bit yes yes yes i i stand to that it's okay for me what's his name his name is timon his name is timon but i had an open conversation with him as i said i'm a very honest person and i cleared it up it's very nice but it's good to see uh good to say again so he knows that i love him and it was just because of my insecurity that i hurt him because i don't i didn't want to be the one who gets bullied in school so i i jumped on the train and did it against him say that one more time because everyone's clapping because you didn't want to be the one that was going to get picked on yes you saw someone who was potentially weaker because of his showering situation and you jumped on that train to deflect so it wasn't you yes and it happened to me also and i was the little kid and i was always the best friend of the girls and they said [ __ ] about me and i think it's a yes you know it's a security reason why i said okay i don't want to be this anymore and i bullied him but since then since i knew i heard him i was in other school every time if someone got hurt you would jump in i i was i was always there it's good yes thank you brother thank you man [Applause] [Applause] the reason the reason i cut that short before going deeper into him and kind of let him off the hook is two things one it's very interesting to see how much honesty is a liberator and it was very obvious to me on that but number two he said something that i want to finish with he said i didn't want to be the person picked on so i jumped on the weaker link and i wanted to deflect and if you listened carefully the next thing he said was but it still happened to me one of the things i believe in the most in the world is doing the right thing is always the right thing and equally on the other side of the coin doing the wrong thing is always the wrong thing we have a decision to make here today we have to decide are you in a place where you are ready to actually shift and do and execute on why you're here all of that is foundationally on your own self-awareness of who you are being okay that you suck at most things being accountable and most importantly finally cutting out the cancer of insecurity out of your body on the things that have always been there by shedding light i wish actual cancer i wish actual cancer was as easy to cure as emotional insecurity emotional insecurity is the biggest mental cancer in the world and it is shockingly easy to fix it is called putting it out there for some of you that may be you're finally ready to actually just do therapy and the safest thing for you is saying out loud what you feel about your mom or your dad or your husband or your wife or your kids that you're embarrassed or scared to say to anybody else and in the closed room of a therapy to a stranger for today it's the safest place for others you might go radical and say [ __ ] it i'm going to do what gary vee just said on stage and i'm going to literally post it everywhere and there will be a lot of pain with that there'll be collateral damage but you're ready for others you'll find a different way whether it's meditation or exercise or eating differently or journaling or a million other things that you've heard a million times but the reason you're not getting what you want from it is you're not being truthful with it you're protecting yourself from yourself yet you're tricking no one [Music] please always remember that thank you [Music]

Channel: GaryVee

Views: 229,014

Keywords: Gary Vaynerchuk, gary vee, gary vaynerchuck, garyvee

Id: eWFsQLtry08

Length: 63min 0sec (3780 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 16 2022