HOW TO STOP SHOPPING: QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU BUY 💸

hey you guys welcome back so today I've got another low bye video for you guys thank you again so much for your amazing response on my first two videos it's really motivated me to keep on track and in check with my own low bye and I really hope it's inspiring you guys to pursue your own or at least start thinking about one please subscribe to my channel if you want to see more videos like this I have a lot of other content coming just about how I'm doing in my low by how to stay motivated things like that so please hit subscribe if you're interested in seeing more content like that so the first two videos I did in my how to stop shopping series the first one was just like why I decided to start my own low by year and just some tips to kind of get yourself started into not shopping and then the second video I did in the series and I will create like a playlist for you guys my rules and like regulations that I tried to stick to when I'm thinking about buying something but for me as I have gone through this low buy year the more I am getting deep into it the more I'm realizing that there is a lot of emotion and emotional connection tied to my shopping behavior and I've been seeing that a lot in the comments from you guys as well a lot of us are shopping out of boredom we're shopping out of happiness out of rewarding ourselves for something out of impulse but what is all of that a reaction to so these are some of the questions that I asked myself before I'm going to buy an item and I will have timestamps down below for you guys so you can kind of speed through whatever is relevant or not relevant to you so I have about 10 different questions that I ask myself when I am catching myself either wanting a new thing if I am catching myself shopping or perusing or checking Instagram or finding myself going from a YouTube video because I saw a lipstick and then trying to find what that lipstick is I have really had to practice and challenge myself in mindfulness to catch myself in these moments and that I really need to ask myself these ten core questions so let's get into them so the first question that I immediately ask myself when I'm looking at if I want to decide to buy something or not is do I need this I think a lot of us are lucky enough to already have everything we need the needs of human beings if you really think about it are not that many we need food we need shelter we need water we need emotional connection we need clothing a little you know but not in excess there's really not much else but at the same time you know it's fun to spend money it's fun to buy new things my problem was that it became excessive and it became a straight-up problem do I need this item stop yourself and ask that question whatever it is that you're looking at whatever it is that you catch yourself starting to covet think about what you already own that is similar think about why why are you gravitating towards this item are there patterns and things that you catch yourself liking or admiring are there similarities in these things so think about all these things but really narrow that down back into whether you need it or not so if we're talking about clothing if it's an item that I have been seeking for a while I'm going back to my you know to the rule of stopping and waiting if you're giving yourself like a 24 hour period a week a month however long if that item is filling a gap in my wardrobe and it's something that I have been looking for that I don't necessarily have right now then maybe I can move on to the next question nine times out of ten you probably don't actually need the item I can't tell you how many times I've caught myself admiring an orange a red lipstick color I have like 10,000 of them already all of those will do just fine so I didn't really need that new lipstick to begin with so start there do you need this item the second question I asked myself and this has come up a lot because as I've gone through this low by year I've done a lot of thought as to why I'm shopping when I catch myself shopping and a lot of the times it's because I'm bored so ask yourself are you bored right now if I had nothing to do even like you know if there was a lull at work or even getting home from work if I didn't have any plan if I wasn't going to any classes anything like that I would immediately hop to my phone and just start scrolling websites like oh I want to see what's new what's new and exciting what's on sale and I would do that as a reaction of being straight-up bored I would shop is almost a reason to fill up my time I didn't have a lot of passions I didn't have a lot of hobbies especially coming out of school things like that and then finding like YouTube and photography that's really filled up a lot of my time and actually has really helped curb a lot of my shopping by just creating content for you guys and doing things like that that I absolutely love doing but before I had that I really didn't have anything to fill up my time and I would often just like go to the mall spend my Saturday afternoon just shopping around so instead of finding something more productive to fill that time with I chose to shop within that I would find that I would find something that I wanted and purchase it and then it would just kind of spiral into that so really think about when you catch yourself shopping or you catch yourself wanting something what are you doing right then and there like stop and think about it feel yourself in the room or where you wherever you are whether you're in bed scrolling on your phone mindlessly maybe you're on the subway or bored at school or work or something and if you catch yourself shopping and really ask yourself are you bored right now are you trying to fill your time with this activity and is there something else you can be doing the third question I ask myself is am I stressed not only what I shop personally out of boredom but I would definitely shop when I was under stress or just kind of feeling yucky in any sort of sense and I would I would shop as a way to relieve the stress to release that and to give myself a hit of ooh shiny objects it was something new something fun and exciting I would shop as a distraction to avoid whatever was stressing me out and to avoid addressing whatever was causing me stress and anxiety or anything like that you know shopping would delay maybe having to deal with it but then that stress would always come back and my jaw would still be clenched and I there would still be something there that I was avoiding deal with that I still had to so instead of facing my stress head-on I decided to shop if you catch yourself in that moment of stress you can prevent yourself from moving forward with that shopping because you have to really think is this a response to a negative feeling that I'm experiencing right now and what can I do about it instead of shopping question number four is does it fit in the budget like I said in my videos past almost everything boils back down to the budget and if it's not in the budget then that has really for me at least created a hard stop into deciding if I really want like if I'm really gonna buy it or if I am gonna let it go I create my budget at the beginning of every single month I do sort of modify it as things go you know I do move money around but my clothing budget and my low by budget is very strict I really try not to allow myself to move around with that too much just because I already have enough and I know that deep down so if the item does not fit into my budget and I find myself really manipulating then the rest of the numbers in my budget in order to make this item fit I really like to me that is just self sabotaging behavior and I'm skirting around like avoiding the healthy choice and the healthy decisions that I'm trying to make for myself by stopping shopping and doing all that is just it's just too much manipulation it's just too much work in order to acquire this thing and I just feel like if I catch myself starting to do that then it's really not worth it I mean arguably you could say the opposite maybe I really want that thing and now I'm like really trying to make the budget work but like I'm not gonna take money out of my groceries and out of my gas in order to buy a new pair of jeans like it's just not that's just really not reasonable behavior to me and that to me is dangerous behavior that I've even exhibited before so I really just want to avoid that if it doesn't fit in my heart stop budget I can't buy it or I can I can keep saving for it the next month if I'm still thinking about that item but the main question to ask is does it fit in your budget and if it then forget it at least for now the next question I ask for myself still ties into the budget and is it do I have the cash for the item right now so in my previous video of my little bi rules I did talk about how I really tried to not use credit in acquiring things that are on my low by hit list so because of the fact that credit it prolongs that gratification of spending but later on I really felt that like oh crap like what did I just do here by using credit it would often be where did my money go instead of me telling it where to go so by using cash and debit I also really think about if I want to inflict that sort of pain response of physically seeing my money leave my wallet or physically seeing my checking account dwindle by purchasing that item most of the time I really don't want to break like my twenty I don't want to spend the money on it I don't want to spend the cash on it whereas if I was using credit I'd be more than willing because it's almost like not real money at the time until your credit card bill comes and then you're just like what did I just do so if I don't have the cash on me right now then do I really want to spend the money on that item question number six is to ask yourself how much will this purchase set me back from my goals in the long run for me I needed to do a low buy and I did a no buy for the first couple of months of 2019 I needed to do it because my shopping was starting to get in the way of the goals that I wanted to reach for myself financially later on I was finding that I would rather spend money on clothes and makeup and stuff instead of taking a vacation or instead of putting more money towards a down payment or towards paying off my student loan faster I kept choosing to almost like have this image of wealth instead of like without actually being wealthy because I was just straight-up irresponsible with my money I was as Dave Ramsey calls a financially unfit person where you know you have like you look like you appear to have this nice lifestyle you go for brunch drive a nice car I don't drive a nice car but some people do for me I was shopping to maintain an appearance and to you know keep like I loved that the compliments that I would get of oh I love your outfit where did you get it hopefully no one said that was the ugliest effing skirt they've ever seen after they said that but you know I would shop to validate myself and to seek validation from others to you know to try to emulate the life of the girl that I saw wearing the same jacket because I put myself beneath her because I emulated her but all in all all I was doing was just spending money and it was living in my closet and nowhere else so think about where you are in your financial journey are you paying off a student loan are you saving up for a vacation that you want to pay in cash do you have a car payment do you are you saving up for a new car do you want to move what are your bigger financial goals and bigger experiential things that you want to reach and is shopping or buying this thing going to set that back and is shopping going to get in the way of that goal so trying to do the most responsible thing like for me what I've learned this year is that stuff will never replace what you gain from a connection with another person from experience with another person from spending time and creating memories with people those are the things that you take with you not all of this stuff and I know that's like a little bit deep but shopping was trying to fill this void for me that relationships around me could have been filling the entire time think about the goals that you're trying to achieve whether it be financial a lot of times money is really connected to certain to certain goals is buying that new lipstick or is spending $250 on makeup because it's on sale or because the sale is going on and you want to take advantage of the sale while you still spent $250 that you could have put elsewhere and again was it stuff that you needed were you bored where you stressed were you comparing yourself so all of these questions really work together in order to really help you decide if you really want to buy something or not the next I asked myself is something that I would have I would deal with quite cyclically oftentimes I would shop and I would get that rush and I would feel so excited that I got the new thing I got something new that I got something new that I could share and show off and maybe get some compliments on and get that validation but the question to ask that I needed to ask myself was will I feel gross after I buy this so a lot of times I would buy the item or I would have a pile of items that were ready to check out and I knew that it would be a certain amount I kind of would calculate it in my head and then the girl would actually tell me what I spent and you know I was still in that rush I was still in that moment if like like yes let's do this these are all beautiful things I feel beautiful in them I feel amazing swipe and then immediately as I'm walking out of the store I'm like what did I just do and oftentimes I would pretend like the item wasn't new if somebody asked me I'd say oh no I bought it like a while ago or I would I would hide that I bought new items and those are classic shopping addiction behaviors but this is a question to ask myself now will I feel gross will I feel yucky will I feel ashamed embarrassed like I need to hide this item after I just bought it or do I want to show this off do I want to wear it proudly is it something that I absolutely love and that I'm happy that I bought it those are two different spectrums of feelings that for me personally I really need to ask myself and what really determine now from shopping or from choosing to buy an item or not if I feel like guilty or embarrassed or to straight-up gross I really hate that feeling I really do I don't want to feel that anymore so really ask yourself the same the next question I ask is will it make me happy so this kind of ties into the question of doesn't make me feel gross or not will this item bring me happiness most of the times probably not I find stuff very rarely does it actually bring you happiness and joy unless you're doing the whole Marie Kondo thing then maybe you can decide that but if you're trying to bring in something new into your space really think whether or not it's going to serve you and make you feel happy every single time you go to wear it or use it or whatever when I would catch myself shopping or when I would shop I knew I was trying to find that certain thing that I thought would make me happy if I got that pair of boots then I knew then I would tell myself great I'm never gonna need another pair of black boots again and then a different pair of black boots would come and I would need those and I would get that and then I would get those now I have two pairs of boots but I'm still not feeling that fulfillment I'm not feeling any joy I'm not feeling any happiness not to say that I don't like love the pieces that I purchased but a lot of times I would even forget that I had them and for me thinking back now the times when I feel the most happy and the most fulfilled is not when I'm wearing you know that pair of boots or when I'm like looking back on Instagram wondering how many likes I got it for my surf or my blog or whatever the times that makes me feel the most happy or when I was spending time with people when I was developing and you know working on relationships when I was spending time with my dog like think about the things that make you most happy and really think where stuff like clothes and makeup and purses and skincare go into that how do those tie in ask yourself that question think about an object that you told yourself you absolutely had to have was it a pair of boots was it a jacket was it a purse when that thing finally comes into your life and when you finally spend the money on it how do you think your life will be different now that you have that thing for me overall it's been it's been negative because I kept shopping I kept getting the thing that I thought I absolutely needed I'd get it and I'd have it I'd wear it a couple of times maybe maybe because a lot of stuff still had the tags on it it never brought that happiness it never cured the stress it never cured the boredom if anything it brought on more stress think about how your life will be different if you actually get the thing is it something that is actually useful if it is and maybe it's something that you actually needed and you can go back and ask yourself all these questions that we just went through in this video but if it's just something that you catch yourself wanting on impulse really stop and ask how will your life be better how will it be different now that this new shirt or new thing is in your life if you think your life will be different for the better then maybe consider making the purchase but really try to be honest with yourself and really ask and think will your life be different for the better or not the other thing I would want you to do when you're asking yourself these questions is almost say it aloud or write it down or say it to someone else because when you're doing you're doing all of this internally within yourself you can create these dialogues and these conversations with yourself and rationalize yourself into buying the thing I would say even most of the time for me by writing it down it almost like it would put it into a reality of and really put it into perspective for me where it would where I would really catch myself in that like either you're being ridiculous right now you are self sabotaging yourself you're not doing right by yourself or even just something as simple as oh yeah maybe I really don't need this by writing it down or saying it aloud to your partner holding yourself accountable just talking to somebody about it can really really help you get through the dislike that in the moment decision or those I think really complex and complicated feelings that come along with an impulsive shopping habit and trying to get out of that and the last question that I ask myself and it kind of goes in with everything that I've talked about so far and is that just simply is it worth it and this can be thought about in a you know in a number of different angles think about the cost per where think about how many hours you had to work in order to pay for this item think about how many more hours you'll have to work in order to pay off the debt that you're trying to pay off or to pay into that vacation or to pay to that down payment or to reach that goal whatever you want to do like think about how much longer all of those things will take by just picking up this new item that you probably saw on impulse and that you had an emotional reaction to quickly instead of thinking about something long-term I'd say most of the time and if you have your and I'm talking about more like clothing here because again that's still my main problem and probably always going to be the focus of my low-end no buy but this is something that you're not going to wear for years to come if this is something that you see that you just you know immediately thought about in your head just because you saw it on Instagram in one moment to go is if this is something that you saw out of boredom and that you decided that you wanted and that you purchased was it really worth it because in the end you did something to feed your boredom but you didn't do anything to you know feed yourself long term you just fed like not like not speaking you but like me I guess we would feed into this reaction this reaction Airy impulse and it's never been worth it long-term for me it's the straight-up answer it never has been because now I'm here making a video about how to stop shopping and I've gotten that tired of trying to feel something that I've been avoiding with stuff instead of addressing it and wondering why I need to make myself feel better by buying stuff think about it long term instead of the short term ask yourself these questions you can go back and look into the low buy rules and you can couple these rules and the tips that I had in my first video all together with these questions and see if you really want to buy the item or not so that's what I mean about is it worth it so is it worth it in the short term but really is it worth it in the long term as well that can sometimes be difficult to think about a lot of what I'm finding in this low buy year especially in my self-reflection and looking inward and looking inside it's really hard there are a lot of hard questions to ask trying to find balance and that is has been really difficult don't get me wrong but I think all positive in the sense that I'm just stopping to think about these things so I hope these questions to ask yourself and to stop yourself before you buy are helpful I have written them down in my little journal I refer back to them quite often but I almost have them memorized they don't you know maybe you have your own set of questions that you can ask yourself when you catch yourself shopping and when you catch yourself wanting to buy something new or seeking or shopping around to fill some time really stop and ask yourself whatever questions work for you or if these questions work for you but really the main point of all of this is to catch yourself in the moment to hit pause and to really think about what you're doing and why you're doing it if you can even do that then that is a step forward in progress and being mindful and taking control of your own spending habits and your own shopping habits and I think all of that is an absolutely beautiful and positive thing let me know if you have any different questions that you ask yourself or any additional questions that maybe I might not have addressed here and let me know how that helps you in your own low by and again guys please subscribe if you haven't already I would really appreciate it and I would love to see you back and leave me a comment down below you guys have been absolutely beautiful down there and I love reading all your comments and just getting inspired and Riaan spired by all of you so thank you again and I'll see you in the next video bye you

Channel: Christina Mychas

Views: 80,144

Keywords: how to stop shopping, how to stop spending money, questions to ask before you buy, how to stop spending money on things you dont need, how to be a minimalist, low buy year, no buy year, how to save money, shopping addiction, stop shopping, shopping addict, budgeting, minimalism, saving money, shopping, spending money, konmari, zero waste, emotional spending, how to stop impulse buying, impulse buying, budgeting tips, simple living, get out of debt, declutter

Id: lertj4MuIT0

Length: 22min 58sec (1378 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 14 2019