How to STOP Overthinking All The Time

[Music] hey everyone and welcome to top thing today we're going to learn about how to stop overthinking all the time now let's begin number one balanced hypotheticals how can you be decisive when you're facing a huge life-altering decision well just imagine deciding whether or not to go back to school it could open all kinds of new doors for your career you could make helpful connections you could learn about new avenues to explore within your field but on the other hand you'd be sacrificing a ton of your time and a whole lot of money there's also no guarantee that you'll get anything out of it after working your tail off for years you might end up in the exact same place that you are right now now there are obvious advantages and disadvantages to both sides so how do you make up your mind well many people start with a pros and cons list it's sort of like the one we just outlined you write down all the good things on one side and all the bad things on the other and then all you have to do is compare now in this case you'd put opportunities connections and learning in the pros column while putting time money and uncertainty in the cons column when they're side-by-side it's a lot easier to figure out which option carries the most weight but there's one thing a pros and cons list just can't do it doesn't account for the way your life's going to change pros and cons lists sometimes feel unsatisfying because they don't take your emotions or your lifestyle into account sure going back to school could be great for your career but what if it makes you miserable what if you end up overworked and unmotivated because you took on more than you could handle my point is if you're making a life-changing decision it's not just about the pros and cons you need to consider things like your habits your happiness and your long term goals so let's go ahead and compare something else just visualize what your life would look like if you chose not to go back to school how would you feel how would your goals change what kind of future do you see yourself having ask yourself these personal questions and then make sure you're being realistic write them down in their own column do the same thing for the opposite side paint a picture of a future where you do go back to school you could even imagine the little things like your daily routines would going to school turn your life upside down or would it help you develop a healthier lifestyle just like before write your answers down in their own column now look at your list it isn't just pros and cons anymore it captures two different futures two possible ways that your life could pan out because when you make a big decision it's not about the stuff you're deciding on it's about how each path will shape you as an individual so if you visualize your options you can make decisions by choosing the you that you aspire to be number two survey the room asking for help doesn't make you indecisive in fact gathering outside opinions is a great way to get a better understanding of your problem so if you're having an impossible time with something take a quick survey talk to your friends your co-workers or family members explain the situation and see what they think this strategy works for a couple of different reasons the first is that it gives you some new perspectives chances are you've been mulling over this issue for a long time you've tried to approach it from every possible angle but there's only so much that you can see so what do you like it or not you'll end up recycling the same points over and over again hey don't worry it's not your fault you're just too invested in the problem to take a genuine step back but your friends aren't they can approach the same issue with a clear head and rational state of mind so they might see things you never could the second reason that surveys work has nothing to do with the people you're asking it comes directly from you as you explain the same information several times you're basically talking yourself through the problem by your fourth or fifth explanation one option is going to start pulling ahead and without realizing it you'll be making better arguments for one side over the other at that point you don't really need people to weigh in on your decision if you're leaning in one direction you've already made up your mind number three the incomplete picture over thinkers feel like something's missing from every decision that they make there's always more information they need to know more options they need to explore more perspectives they need to get they keep searching and searching without realizing that they're diving way too deep the truth is an incomplete picture is still incredibly useful just imagine you're looking at a puzzle with a few pieces missing you can still tell what the puzzle is right well a few missing pieces isn't going to turn a coral reef into an African safari decisions work the same way they're going to be incomplete but you know enough to make up your mind so try to approach every decision knowing that you're not going to get everything you want there will be loose ends no matter how much you analyze it but how do you know what information you can leave out there's actually an easy way to narrow things down you just need to figure out the pieces that you absolutely can't live without let's say you're trying to choose between two jobs just ask yourself what factors would make you choose one job over the other is it salary a good location maybe you're looking for more responsibility if it's important enough to change your mind well then it's something you need to know but if not you can probably see the bigger picture without it number four live by the numbers when your mind is moving a million miles an hour you need some kind of anchor to hold you down something stable and concrete you see most people get bogged down with abstract problems you can't make up your mind because there isn't really a correct answer everything's opinion based it's all up in the air you might be feeling option a one day and then option B the next but what if I asked you this which is more money five dollars for $100 she obviously $100 it's not an opinion it's just a fact you're not going to wake up one morning and suddenly think five dollars is worth more that's the beauty of concrete problems there's a right answer so you don't need to waste time overthinking but how do you turn an abstract issue into a concrete solution well instead of jumping into your thoughts do your research gather some data let the numbers speak for themselves sometimes emotions are important things to consider think back to those life-changing decisions that we talked about earlier but other times emotions just get in the way at work for example you shouldn't let feelings like fear stand in the way of your performance you have to be decisive and more importantly you need to feel confident that you're making the right call living by the numbers doesn't just show you the most rational option it gives you a reason to believe in your decision I can't understate how important this is because the more you believe in yourself the more decisive that you'll be in the future number five understand your gut the phrase go with your gut gets thrown around a lot it means you should follow your intuition choose the option that feels right even if you aren't entirely sure but many chronic / analyzers think this advice is a bunch of nonsense and for good reason how can your gut understand all the details of a really complicated situation yeah sure your gut reaction may make sense in the moment but how does that decision affect you in the long run / thinkers don't like to use their intuition because they're worried it doesn't know the whole story but your intuition isn't some wishy-washy flip of the coin it's a genuinely effective decision-making tool why is that well because it's a product of years of experience even if you can't consciously recall why one option feels better than the other that doesn't mean it's random your intuition is an educated choice based on all your successes and failures that's why some instincts are more valuable than others just think about it the instincts of a CEO with 40 years under her belt are worth a whole lot more than the instincts of a new intern thanks to all her experience her instincts have been refined and developed so if you want to stop overthinking just learn to trust your intuition you may not know what to do but there's a good chance your gut does number 6 flood the negatives with positives overthinking is a destructive cycle especially for your productivity when you realize you're diving too deep what do you do you might try to bury those thoughts or pretend the problem just doesn't exist but it's almost like a song that's stuck in your head the more you try to ignore it the catch here it gets in other words neglecting your indecisiveness means more stress less focus and a whole lot of negativity so what's the best way to free your brain from this frustrating cycle bring those thoughts into the light put them center stage and then make an active effort to challenge them you can do this yourself but it helps to bring in some outside sources books videos and podcasts are all great tools to get you thinking about your decisions in a more positive way they'll leave you feeling motivated and confident which ultimately makes you more decisive so instead of pretending your obstacles aren't there get inspired to challenge and overcome them hey thank you for watching top thing and be sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way you

Channel: TopThink

Views: 122,662

Rating: 4.8893185 out of 5

Keywords: how to stop overthinking, how to stop overthinking and anxiety, how to stop overthinking relationships, how to stop overthinking everything, how to stop overthinking all the time, how to stop stress, signs of overthinking

Id: Jha-wGYgIw8

Length: 10min 47sec (647 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 24 2019