How to Stop Interrupting People (Don't Be That Person!)

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If you're frequently in high level meetings, where there are executives and higher ups in the meeting, and you understand the importance of being a great communicator, then stay tuned, because in this video, I'm going to share with you three very, very key practices on how you can stop interrupting other people and not be that person. So when it comes to interrupting a person, interrupting somebody, why does that happen? If you yourself, when you see other people interrupting, or you have a tendency, you have urgency of I want to get this out, I just want to get it out there. I just want to say it, but I need to interrupt someone to say it. If you're that, if you notice that happening in yourself or in other people, I'll share with you, first of all, why does that happen? Why do people interrupt? Because when it comes to communication, doesn't it make sense to understand why people do the way, the things that they do and why they make those decisions so that you can be a better communicator. So let's talk about interrupting, the essence of why people interrupt is because in a communication, if you perceive someone in your audience or group of people at your audience, in your audience, they have something that you do not, for example, it could be, you see somebody has more intelligence in a certain area, or maybe you see them as having more charisma or greater charisma, or maybe you perceive somebody as having more authority or more power in that conversation. And you perceive, in other words, anything, it could be anything you perceive in your audience that they have something that you don't. Then that is the foundation of what causes the interruption, because you perceive that they have something you don't, then chances are on the flip side of it, that you will seek to compensate for that which you do not have, or that you perceive that you don't have. And as a result of that, you want to speak up and interrupt so that you can assert your intelligence, that you can stand up for yourself so that you can increase your charisma or your power or your presence and so on. Right? So that's the essence of why people interrupt either you yourself are finding that you constantly interrupt, or other people are constantly interrupting. That's the essence of why this happens. Right. And so in this video, I'm going to share with you three practices on how you can stop interrupting others so that the conversation can be a dialogue instead of a monologue. And you might be thinking, well, how does that lead to interrupting? Just because I perceive somebody has something I do not. How does that lead to interrupting? Now, I want to go a little bit deeper into that because it doesn't always lead to interrupting somebody because if you perceive somebody has something you don't, and let's just say it's intelligence, they have a certain level of intelligence, a depth of knowledge that you know that you don't have, then it can go one of two ways, right? On the spectrum between passive and aggressiveness, right? So on the one end of the spectrum, it is passive on the other end of the spectrum, it is aggressive, right? We either go either way. If we perceive somebody having greater intelligence at us or power or charisma, we can either be too passive. And if you go the passive route, then the outcome is we tend not to say anything. We tend to choose to stay silent. We don't voice our opinions. We don't share our ideas. That is the passive side. If we go with the aggressive side on the other more tendencies, the other end of the spectrum, the aggressive side, and that is where the interruption occurs. This is where we speak up. We assert ourselves, we insert our ideas and we interrupt other people in the flow of the conversation. And we turn it into a monologue because we want to be the one to share ideas and get it out there. Right? So it is always a spectrum from passiveness, passivity to aggressiveness and aggressiveness, right? So that is what occurs. And either, or, and you'll notice this, if you reflect in your life, you'll see that that it is true, that there are times where you tend to have be on the passive side. And there are times and situations where you tend to be more on the aggressive side, right? So this is where it's important first of all, to develop that awareness, which situations specifically do I tend to be more passive in front of what types of people and how am I perceiving that they have something that I do not? And what is it that I perceive that they have that I do not have? So it's important to have that self-awareness right. So with that, now I'm going to be giving you a lot of knowledge, a lot of new knowledge that you have not heard before. So knowledge is not power. Knowledge itself is not power. It's not going to serve you, but applied knowledge is where the power is. So I want to hear from you, so comment below and share with me what you have learned as a result of listening to this video. And at the same time, if what I'm saying is resonating with you, if there's a topic that you is helpful to you in your career path, then give me a thumbs up and remember to subscribe to my channel as well. Remember to ring that bell as always so that you receive a notification every time I release a new video, and every single week, I release topics like this, and so much more. Because if you catch yourself tending more in certain situation towards the spectrum of aggressiveness, what happens as a result of that is the intention is to listen to rebound this the, in the perceived imbalance of power, right? So when we are aggressive, we tend to listen to rebalance the imbalance that we perceive. And as a result, we tend to want to assert and interrupt instead of listening so that we can add genuine value, right? So that's the effect that it comes out because as aggressive on the aggressive side, this is where we are taking more actions and communicating to rebalance the perception of they have something I do not. And I want to rebalance, to bring back equity to restore the equity in the perception of inequity, and that's where it comes out with interruptions so that's why the first way, which leads to the first number one, the first practice on how to stop interrupting is to practice self governance, right? So there's three practices. This is the first practice it's self-governance what does self-governance mean? Self-governance governance. The root word of governance is to govern. So self-governance is the ability to steer yourself, to be able to have alignment with your greater purpose, to understand what is the purpose, my mission, my chief aim in my life, and to be able to make decisions and real objectives and set goals that are in alignment with that purpose. But more than that, at a deeper level, it's understanding what are your true values, the values that are genuine to you, not values that you are accepting from other people, but that are genuine and true to you. What are your true values and setting goals and real objectives that are in alignment with that. It's also, once you understand what that is from yourself, it's also understanding what other people value. In any conversation, others have their own values, you have your own values and in this communication, it's about how do I converse? How do I share my ideas? How do I share my perspectives in accordance with what other people value? And so this is the, this is all self self-governance it's being able to steer is being able to be in control, having self-mastery in the, even in the presence of challenges, even in the presence of people who criticize, even in our fears and anxieties, we have that self-governance because we are mission driven because we understand what our purpose is and we know who we are. And so the fact is being self-governed means that you can achieve and set real objectives and increases your probability of achieving the goals that you set, because they are aligned with your values. But if you are not self-governed absence, the absence of self-governance means that you're living in accordance to other people's values. You try to change yourself so that you can help please somebody else or so that you can come along to their perspective. You try to adopt their values and their perspectives. But if you are not governing yourself, if you don't have self-governance, then others will step in and govern you. In the absence of self-governance, what happens is that we are disempowered in our ability to speak. We are disempowered in our ability to share our perspectives and our ideas. We're disempowered in our ability to advocate for ourselves. And at the same time, in the absence of self-governance, we are a victim of our history. So this is why it's so important. The first practice is to practice self-governance. And by the way, if this is new to you, and you're wondering, well, how do I navigate that? Because for a long time, I have been disempowered. Maybe you're thinking to yourself, well, now I'm in the presence of executives now, and they are wanting me to step up in leadership. I really want to be a leader in my industry, if that's you, and you're serious about creating that outcome in your life, and you understand the importance of setting real goals, and you really do feel, I want to make my dreams come true. I want to make my mission. I want to be driven in my mission, but you don't know how to achieve that for yourself and in your life. Then I invite you to book a call with me below this video, in the description, the very first link in the description below is a link for you to book a call. And you'll be either going to be speaking to myself or a member of my team. And this is just a conversation to explore whether or not this is the right fit for you. And if I can truly help you with what you're looking for. And if so, I'm going to walk you through the steps every single week, I'm going to train you on how to master your communications. I'm going to show you how to set real goals and achieve your most meaningful goals as well. And the same time to build a legacy for you in your career path. So only if you're serious and you're wanting, and you are on your way to become an executive in your industry, then apply in the link below. And I look forward to working with you on the inside. Practice number two is to practice principled communication. Remember earlier, when I shared that aggressiveness, if we tend towards the aggressive spectrum, what we're doing is we are interrupting to balance out the inequity that we perceive. So when it comes to balancing out that inequity, we have this sense of urgency of, I want to insert my idea in there, because if I don't, I might not have an opportunity to do so, or I want to really assert myself because if I don't, then I'm going to forget what I wanted to say next. And then I'm not. And that moment will pass and I might regret it later on. So we interrupt. So if you practice principled communication, this is where you are a master of your own principles. But first of all, it comes with an understanding of what your principles are. So let me share with you the essence of principles, principles are the truths. They are the governance, they are the laws that govern why your strategies work. If you look at your career path, just look at your resume or your CV. You have, you have achieved things in your career path, you have accomplishments and some of your accomplishments are quite notable. And the thing is these achievements, the successes you've had in your career path, they didn't get there by accident, right? They didn't get there by accident. So this is where if you are practicing principled communication, you're sharing, what are your principles? What are the truths that governed your strategies? And when you share from a principle's perspective, you're not going to forget what you want to say next, you have peace and knowledge that I have this wisdom to share, because you're hired for your principles. Application of principles will produce the outcomes that are desirable all the time. Tactically, that's not necessarily true because tactics don't always work, but principles will work in various industries and various domains as well. So instead of worrying about the details and the minutia in which you want to share and communicate, this is where the tendency to want to sense I have a sense of urgency to interrupt, that's where it's the highest is when you want to share all the details of minutia. But instead when you take it back to the big picture of the principles that you don't need to worry about you're losing your chance or missing your chance to have an impact because principles are impactful on a much deeper scale, right? So that's the second practice is to practice principled communication. Practice number three, this is the third practice, let's summarize what I talked about so far. The first practice is to practice self-governance. The second practice is to practice principled communication and the third practice. And this is to what practices to stop interrupting, right? To have a great communication and dialogue. The third practice is to practice active communication, right? And there's a lot of depth towards active communication and so much so that I created another video for it. So if you're serious about these three practices, then the very next video that is showing up is a I created before that shows you how to practice active listening, and that's coming up right up next.
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Channel: Dr. Grace Lee
Views: 17,857
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: how to stop interrupting people, stop interrupting, interrupting, how to stop interrupting, stop interrupting people, strategies to stop interrupting people, stop interrupting others, stop interrupting each other, how to stop interrupting each other, how to stpo interrupting others, stop interrupting., communication skills, speaking skills, communication tips, conversational skills, personal development, personal growth, improve communication skills at work, executive coaching
Id: P2_gHSsGOVg
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Length: 12min 7sec (727 seconds)
Published: Wed May 04 2022
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