How to stop catastrophizing? I gotcha. I'm Barbara Heffernan and for almost 20 years
I've been helping people transform their lives by recovering from anxiety and trauma. And I created this YouTube channel to try
to help more people do the same. And if you support the work that I'm doing
here, I would really appreciate it if you would subscribe to my channel and give me
a like on this video and then comment and let me know what you think. Today I'm going to walk you through five steps
to stop catastrophizing and I'd love to be able to say five easy steps, five simple steps. And they actually are simple and easy. They take a lot of practice. So five steps that will take some practice,
but that will help you stop catastrophizing. And step number five is almost an Ninja trick. It's a Ninja trick to get over anxiety. So hang in there and we will go through these
one by one. So if you want to stop catastrophizing, the
first step is to be aware of what you're doing. So increasing your awareness of your thoughts. Now how do you do that? I think that the best ways to do that are
mindfulness meditation and therapy. But then again, I'm a therapist and a mindfulness
meditation instructor. So I guess if you go to a surgeon, he tells
you you need surgery. No, I'm sort of joking, but I really do think
that therapy helps to increase the observer part of your brain. The part of the brain that says, Oh wow, my
thoughts are going in that direction again. And mindfulness meditation does the same thing. So both of those combined or separately can
really help you begin to be aware of when you're catastrophizing. And I talk about both of these things in my
video, CBT mindfulness, which I will link here. So step number two is to label your thought,
label it catastrophizing and know that it's not true. So first become aware of the thoughts and
then distinctly label it. Oh, I'm catastrophizing. That is a catastrophizing thought. I'm awfulizing whatever word is the most comfortable
for you. But label that thought with what it is and
know once you've labeled it that it's a cognitive distortion. You can actually say this is distorted thinking. And even if part of you doesn't believe it's
distorted thinking, part of you wants to argue with me that no, no, this really is a potential
problem. Know, that you have another part that can
look at it and say, okay, we've been here before, we've worried about things like this
have never come true. So I can label this and I can know that this
is distorted thinking and this is part of my anxiety. Step number three, be keenly aware of the
connection between your thoughts and what they're doing to you physically. So you know when you go to a movie and you're
watching the movie on the screen and let's say it's a thriller and you are feeling all
hyper and you're feeling scared and you're feeling all excited, your body is producing
all the chemicals that go with those feelings as if it's actually happening. Now, there might be a little part of your
brain that knows it's not happening to you, but a large part of you is responding to it,
right? Same kind of thing. If you go to a movie that's sad, you might
tear up, you might cry, or a movie that's joyous or inspirational, you will feel the
feelings that the characters are having on the screen. Our imaginations are incredibly powerful and
our imaginations directly link to the chemicals we produce in our bodies. So when your imagination is catastrophizing,
your body is experiencing it on some level. So if you're catastrophizing is like, okay,
I had a stomach ache this morning and Oh no, what if it stomach cancer? And then Oh my God, I could die soon. And what about my children? What are they gonna do? And as you're going through this story, your
body is pumping adrenaline and then cortisol and all of those fight and flight chemicals
are coursing through your body with the story. So catastrophizing is not just about your
thoughts, catastrophizing directly links to feelings of anxiety that you will have physically. And then those anxious feelings are gonna
make you feel like you need to worry more either about that topic or something else,
but you will just get spinning into an anxious cycle. So will you comment below and let us know
what you have catastrophized about recently? We all do this sometimes, all of us, some
of us more habitually than others, but we all do it once in awhile. So it really helps people know that they're
not alone. So let us know below what you've been catastrophizing
about recently. So as you become aware that these thoughts
are creating this chemical reaction in your body of stress chemicals, you can begin to
consciously change how you're breathing. That would be step number one. And so diaphragmatic breathing is awesome. You can go for a walk if you have a pet, sit
down on the floor with your pet or pull it into your lap. If it's small and pet your pet - like petting
an animal, hugging a baby, hugging somebody else, all of these things help our physiological
response system go down. They really calm us down. And so stopping your catastrophizing thoughts
is not just about changing what is going on up here. It's also about changing your behavior and
your physiology. And I know I talk about this so much in so
many of my videos, and I do have a free mini course which leads you through diaphragmatic
breathing, a safe place, exercise and grounding exercises. And you can sign up for that course. It's free and the link is below. It's called the aah! mini series. And so that's a great tool if relaxing physiologically
is hard for you, but there's also lots and lots of videos on YouTube about diaphragmatic
breathing and other guided meditations and guided relaxation exercises. So absolutely highly recommend that as a means
to stop the catastrophizing thoughts. Step number four to get over catastrophizing
journaling and or a CBT thought log. Now I talk about a thought like in my video
that I will link right here called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Exercises - feel better. And that video gives you a more comprehensive
explanation of cognitive behavioral therapy, how it helps and how it can help you with
this kind of thinking. And today I'm just going to suggest a journaling
exercise with your catastrophic thinking. So when you realize you're having it, when
you become aware, you label it, you physiologically relax a little bit. And then when you can take some time, which
might not be right away but could be later is fine. I'd like you to write out exactly what you
were catastrophizing. So find the very first moment that the catastrophic
thinking started. What triggered it? What little thing was it? The little stomach ache? Was it looking at a bill that hadn't been
paid? Was it your boss giving you kind of a nasty
look in the morning? What triggered the entire stream? And just take a few moments and write that
out to its most horrible extent. And as you do this, I'd like you to think
about the fact that our human brains have this ability to project into the future and
we're very lucky we have that ability because we are hairless toothless creatures who would
have been eaten by wild animals a long, long time ago, which maybe would have been better
for the planet, but that's a different story. But in any case, our ability to project problems
into the future is really what has helped our survival. However, what seems to be happening today
is that we are elevating every little tiny problem in our lives to survive a level crisis. And that is causing all sorts of stress related
diseases and some pretty unhappy lives. So knowing that our brain has this ability
to project into the future has this ability to imagine all sorts of things. How could you take that very first nugget
that triggered you and tell an entirely different story about what's going to happen? So just give that journaling exercise a chance,
you know? So, okay, so I wake up, I have a little bit
of a stomach ache and instead of going to immediately the worst case, I think, okay,
maybe I shouldn't have eaten that ice cream before bed last night. Maybe there's a connection there and I'm going
to see what happens if I skip the ice cream tonight. Maybe I won't have a bellyache tomorrow. So very simply, just think of what could be
another reason for that little trigger. Your boss giving you a nasty look. Maybe your boss had a really bad morning,
maybe they had a horrible commute. Maybe something bad is happening in their
lives and maybe you could go in and say, Hey, everything okay? So use this powerful tool of your imagination
to create an entirely different story. And then the last piece of the journaling
exercise is to come back and say, okay, what needs to be done today about this problem? And so if anything needs to be done today
or this week, you can pop it on your to do list and then you can take care of that. But bringing it in, just really the journaling
exercise is to let yourself go way out in terms of the catastrophe way out in terms
of totally different scenario coming from the same events and then bring it all back. What is the actual problem right now and what
do I need to do about it? Step number five to stop catastrophizing the
Ninja trick. Drum roll please. The serenity prayer. Have you done like prayers? Don't worry if you don't have a belief in
God, it's okay. I will help you get through how to work with
the serenity prayer. And if you do have faith in God, you do believe
in a higher power, a spiritual being. That's also hugely helpful for anxiety. So the serenity prayer grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the
wisdom to know the difference. This prayer really goes to the heart of anxiety. So if you have a belief in God or a higher
power, you can say, God grant me the serenity or higher power, grant me the serenity. And if you don't, grant me the serenity can
actually be a an invocation to your wise mind, your internal wise mind that knows what you
can and what you can't change. And most of our anxiety is about those things
we cannot do anything about, can't do anything about them right now because if we could do
something about it, we would do it. So when our imaginations are spinning out
to the worst possible outcome, we are usually five six, seven steps beyond anything we have
any control over or anything we can do now. And the serenity prayer works really well
with that physiological relaxation that brings things back to this moment. The serenity prayer helps us say, okay, right
now, what can I change? Right now, what can I do about this problem
that I'm worrying about? So I'll use an example from my own life. When my children were little, I was the sole
financial support. So it certainly occurred to me that things
would be really bad if something happened to me. So I went and I wrote a will and I got some
life insurance and I got some disability insurance. And those are practical steps that we can
take for living in an uncertain world. We just, we live in an uncertain world, but
we don't have to go to the point where we are imagining all these horrible things happening
and thereby hurting ourselves in the present moment, hurting ourselves physically, our
health and our emotional wellbeing. And so if we take the steps to do something
like that, like I put in place a will and then for the most part put it out of my mind. I did what I could, and this can be easier
said than done. This is definitely a practice, but repeating
that serenity prayer on a regular basis, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
change. I'm stuck in traffic, can't change it. The courage to change things. I can. Okay. Not much I can change right now I'm stuck
in traffic and late for an appointment, but I know I'll be able to apologize and maybe
be honest. That'd be a good thing. Or tomorrow I'll know I need to leave earlier. And then of course the key that wisdom to
know the difference, the difference between what I can and what I can't change. I mentioned earlier that spirituality or belief
in God or higher power can really, really help anxiety and it's true, but even if we
just have a view that the universe sort of takes care of things, some kind of general
faith that can be really helpful in terms of turning over those things that we have
no control over and we might as well, like we might as well believe that the universe
overall will take care of things. Why not? You'll feel better and believing the opposite
doesn't change anything. So maybe you get to choose some of your beliefs,
but really whether you believe that or not, it makes no sense to worry about the things
you can't control. So really take a look at your worries, pull
them back in, pull them back into today. Okay. What's the problem happening right now and
is there anything I need to do about it today? I do believe you can make a lot of progress
to stop your catastrophic thinking on your own and it can also sometimes be very helpful
to see a therapist. So I do have a video on how to find an EMDR
therapist and a lot of the tips and tools I'll link it here are also useful to find
a CBT therapist or a different type of therapist. But if you have anxiety, it's very helpful
to find somebody who specializes in working with anxiety. And I do work with a handful of people via
video. If you are interested, there is a link below
for a free phone consultation with me, so feel free to click that link and sign up and
also feel free to make good use of the free resources I have here on this YouTube channel,
the free mini course that I offer, and I'm really hoping that these videos are helpful
to you. So leave me a comment, let me know. Give me a, like if you found this video useful
and I look forward to the next time.
