- So please welcome back
the author of my favorite book If You're In My Office,
It's Already Too Late. (audience applause) James Sexton everybody. We got some folks in the audience. We've got some folks in
the audience who have some relationship questions,
so let's just get right to it. Katrina what's your question for James? - Well James, we've been
together for eight years. I mean, married for eight
years, together for 14. But he's got a major
addiction to video games. He's a big time gamer,
doesn't come to bed. Sits up six hours playing the game, and I have a very important
birthday coming up. I'll be 50 in about three weeks. (audience applause) And so I want him to
pull out all the stops. I want him to go really hard
for me for this birthday. So how can I get him to be more romantic and do something fun
that I can remember for this 50th birthday I want. - So tell me, how do you feel
when you're playing the game, and you're right in it, how do you feel? - It depend on if I'm winning or losing. - [James] You're winning. - If I'm winning, I'm excited
till she come and be like trying to shut it down. - Okay, okay, but let's
focus on how you feel. When you're playing the game,
you said you feel excited, how else do you feel? You feel like a winner? - Victorious, yeah. - Okay. When he's playing the game,
you're in the other room. You're thinking about
spending time with him, you want his attention. How do you feel? - Neglected.
- [James] Okay, how else? - Like he should dedicate more time, romantic time to me,
not just late at night. - [James] But I want to know
inside, how do you feel? So you said you feel neglected, sad, okay. You love this woman right? - Yeah.
- Okay, I know when you're playing those video games you're not sitting there going, I'm gonna sit here and make
her feel neglected and sad. Right, you're doing it
because you want to feel those things you want to feel. You just described, you
want to feel excited, you want to feel like you're
good at something, right? You have to figure out if
you can, ways to make him feel those same feelings
in the marriage, right? And in the activities he does with you. And you have to figure
out ways to still enjoy this thing you enjoy then don't leave her feeling neglected and sad
or any of those things. (applause) - I try to get her to play with me. (laughs) - You know what, that's not a bad idea. It's not a bad idea to
bring somebody in to things they love so much--
- She's never played no damn video games.
- so much, there's something you love so much, pull her into
some of the things you love. You're shaking your head
at me, I can see it coming. - She don't want to play
no video games with you. - No sir, no sir. - Your wife will be
turning 50 and she wants you to go hard for that date. She don't see that
happening cause you gonna be in your man cave, go ahead. - Cause I might have a game that day. - You might have a game that day? - See I play a season. - Bro, okay, no. See right now, see, I'm glad you said that cause now I don't have to hold back. (applause) Cause see, what you just said to me, what you just said to
me was just ignorant. Your wife's 50th birthday coming, but you might have a game that day. But you really ain't got no game that day. (applause) Here's what I think should happen. You should have play days. You should have days where she leaves you to play the video games till
you feel like coming to bed. And she should have play
days where you should be her husband. - Mm I like that. - You should be romantic. Her play days might
have something involved. I know she got some things that
the video games don't have. (laughs) - Anytime I think about a problem that a person thinks is a problem, I try to flip it a little bit. So think about it this way,
what if you had the opposite problem, what if you had the
problem a lot of men have. Probably some men in this audience have. Where they had a wife who didn't
care when you come to bed. They don't care if you want
to spend the whole weekend playing video games,
because they got plenty of other stuff to do and they don't want anything to do with you. Think about that problem,
if you had that problem that's a problem you
would never want to have. You have a problem, you
know what the problem is? You have a wife who wants
to spend time with you. You have a wife who just says she wants you to come to bed. - So James, so let me ask you this. So what you saying, man, is if he had the direct opposite where she didn't care when he came to bed, cause
she's somewhere else. She having play dates. - Having a great time. - Maybe it's somebody that already want to spend time with her. - Absolutely.
- He don't have that problem right now. - How does that feel now? What we're talking about,
how does that problem feel? - I don't. - Probably worst than losing
the video game championship. - Yeah. I think we're on to something. Katrina Morell good luck. We'll be right back with
more marriage questions and more solutions from James Sexton. Don't go away.
