How to Seduce Someone on a Date

on a first date with someone we like we really want of course for the evening to go well there are many varied bits of advice in circulation don't do all the talking be funny and light ask them about themselves don't pry select a small perhaps Italian restaurant leave a generous tip wear nice shoes wear understandably nervous we're trying to do something which is very strange and tricky seduce another person not so much in the narrow and potentially sinister sense of trying to beguile them into having sex with us but in a larger more fundamental way of getting them to like us a date is in essence an audition much more than we usually admit we're trying to imagine each other as prospective long-term partners seduction in its larger more important sense means gradually persuading someone that we're applause abour candidate with whom to be in a relationship the question then is what are the things that might properly show us in this light what do we need to do to get them on board there are two central priorities the first is to show that we have a good relationship to ourselves this doesn't involve saying how wonderful we are or what exciting lives we lead our culture hints that it might be seductive to say things like I love Paris's museums or I'm excellent at swimming in moonlit lakes but such statements don't really convey that we will be pleasant or even bearable to live with day to day on the contrary what makes us attractive as a potential partner is the degree to which we can recognize our own failings it's not that we should exhibit our flaws getting furious with a waiter starting to weep about an old friend who let us down or going on throughout the first course about an insult at work that happened years ago this is weakness unbound given total victory what is really sweet and charming that is powerfully reassuring is weakness handled strongly for example it can be hugely seductive to drop in with an air of confidence and wit you know coming here made me a bit nervous that's a sign both of insight and strength we're not simply being nervous gulping down a cocktail or frantically insisting that the decor is wonderful we're vulnerable but have an overview on our anxieties and the capacity to handle them lightly it can be equally seductive to mention in passing as you can imagine after that I had a little temper tantrum with myself but in a profoundly calm and smiling tone that indicates both an accurate ability to dislike oneself at points and a mature ability to digest and learn from ones less impressive moments at the heart of seductive self revelation is the idea I'm a touch crazy of course but very much sane enough to tell you about it in a modest unhistorical way we're indicating that we have the best possible relationship with our own shadow sides the second hugely seductive move is to signal that we view the other person with a mixture of tenderness and realism it's often imagined that it'll be seductive to convey an air of adoration to hint that the other strikes us as exceptionally attractive or accomplished but surprisingly it's deeply worrying to be obviously adored because everyone from the inside knows very well that they don't deserve intense acclaim are often disappointing and sometimes quite simply pitiful so seduction involves suggesting both that one likes the other person a lot and yet can see their frailties clearly enough that one can cope with them and forgive them with gentle indulgence one might towards the end of the evening drop in a small warm tease that alludes to our understanding of some less than perfect side of them I suppose you stayed on to the duvet feeling a bit sorry for yourself after that we might ask with a benign smile such a gesture implies that we like another person not under a mistaken notion that they are flawless but with a full-on frightened appreciation of their frailties that ends up being powerfully seductive because it is first and foremost reassuring it suggests the ideal way that we would like someone to us within the testing conditions of a real relationship we crave not admiration but to be properly known and yet still liked and forgiven many things are in the moment exciting but self-knowledge and perceptive generosity are the most properly seductive things in the world because they are what make life with another person bearable they are would indicate that we have what it would take to embark on the long exciting beautiful and intermittently extremely painful journey beyond a first date we love bringing you these films if you want to help us to keep bringing you thoughtful content please consider supporting us by visiting our shop at the link on your screen now you

Channel: undefined

Views: 2,367,089

Rating: 4.9143267 out of 5

Keywords: the school of life, relationships, alain de botton, sermon, philosophy, wisdom, secular, curriculum, big questions, love, seduction, dating, the game, tindr, flirting, how to, success, date, flirt, get people to like you, the opposite sex, PL-Relationships, dating advice, dating tips, boyfriend, relationship advice, romance, girlfriend, guys, sex, dating game, relationships goals, Relacionamentos, des relations, Relaciones, रिश्तों, 关系, Beziehungen, namoro, sortir ensemble, Citas, डेटिंग, 约会, amor, Liebe, 爱

Id: v9OdeEzon_0

Length: 5min 26sec (326 seconds)

Published: Mon May 08 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/Supertribi]

Best channel on YouTube

[u/Kukantiz]

Basically it says let on that you're not perfect, able to have self awareness, recognize the other person is not perfect, and you're willing to accept their flaws.

[u/Bud_Johnson]

So many upvotes and no discussion. Makes it seem a little like click bate.

[u/PhiLLyinDaLLaS]

Reminds me of Manson & Models. Awareness & vulnerability.

[u/Bud_Johnson]

Written version?

[u/circlhat]

Awful video, and doesn't really talk about seduction, some helpful tips, but there is a much better way.

1. Meet for drinks , not dinner, dinner is to long
2. Invite her back to your place
3. put your arm on her shoulder,breast,legs, and go in for a kiss
4. Sleep with her

If she likes you she will say yes, if not she will say no, not everyone is going to like you so part of seduction is not actually trying to seduce but find the person who you click with.

Some women are disgusted by me, and some women treat me like I'm brad pitt, the most important thing is being your true self.