How To Resolve Conflict Between Two Co-workers | #culturedrop | Galen Emanuele

what is up culture drop Galen here coming at you today with a little segment skills lab and you know what lab means I mean science baby I don't know I forgot to say what it's about because I got excited about science this is about how to resolve conflict between two co-workers the situation would be here that two people have conflict together and they both are interested in having a conversation to resolve it before we get into step one step two and walk you through it what I want to talk about is the reason we do this the purpose for this the impact of this doing it this way creates an environment where both people feel totally listened to have an opportunity to share sort of like bridge the gap in understanding or like what are you really trying to accomplish here what are you truly trying to accomplish here which is so important for conflict is that we do it in a way that's like as emotionally neutral as possible that both people have an opportunity to like listen hear each other feel understood be listened to and then work together to find the resolution so step one well if there's two people here we'll label them as person a and person B what happens first is person a would explain themselves to person B they would say here's everything going on for me here's everything that I'm feeling that I'm assuming here's everything that I'm upset about here's all the things that are happening for me in my experience here and while person a is sharing person B only listens it's really important that person B does not like AI or roll their eyes or give any kind of feedback at all there's no no interrupting it doesn't matter even if things that are inaccurate person B just listens this is an opportunity for this person to feel like get everything that they need to say off of their plate and out of their head out of their mouth and for this person to listen so once they're done for somebody will repeat back what they heard so what I heard you say was this as factually uh accurate as possible is like you said this this is your experience these are assumptions that you're making this is what's frustrating you is that correct did I hear you correctly is everything I said back to you accurate person a would say yes or if something was incorrect there they say actually no that's not what I meant this is what I actually meant this is what I was saying this is the right interpretation to be like right clarify okay you meant this yes okay once that's done then we trade places so then person B would have an opportunity to share everything that's going on for them person a just listen exactly the opposite situation no eye rolling no feedback just hearing what that person says with eye contact listening to what they have to say once they're done they repeat back here's everything thing you said this is what's going on for you this is what you're thinking this is what you're feeling this is what's happening is that right yes just doing that one first step goes a long way into like calming things down making people feel listened understood that I actually get to hear your perspective now it's an opportunity for us to clarify clarifying meeting in there right in context of like these are some things that I heard you said that's not actually what's going on for me here's a clarification add to that calling pool of meaning do we both understand each other and where we're coming from once we've gone through that and sort of like you know addressed the things that are clearly way and misalignment for the two of us then it's like okay what do we both want here what is the end goal do we want to have a better working relationship we want to find a resolution here and so both people agreeing to yes this is really the end point this is ideal this is what I would be looking for this is what I want here and find common ground and then now that we've had all this listening and understanding and learning and hearing the other person's perspective to be like okay how can we get there be in solution mode right so like what can I do differently how can I show up differently in the situation that would alleviate some other ways is that maybe I frustrate you or whatever the context of the conflict is is like okay both people taking a look at how have I contributed to this because even if I think I'm squeaky clean and I've done absolutely nothing wrong the reality and conflict between two people is that we both have some version of ownership some of the ways that I'm showing up whether those are intentional or not are impacting this person in a negative way both people take a look at okay how can we both operate differently show up differently going forward what are some agreements that we can make going forward to find this resolution and come to an agreement to say okay here's what we'll do here's the plan and to leave that meeting the last step here once we've gone through all that is to say when will we revisit this not to just be like cool we had this conversation that we'll just let it go it's like let's check back in in a week let's check back in in a month or a couple weeks whatever time frame feels appropriate to check in and say how are things going is everything okay you know am I sticking to my Agreements are you sticking to your agreements does this feel better for us and if not or if it is like what are other adjustments that we can make really really important to kind of like follow this model and this is something you can if you're facilitated between two people can be a really useful way to get both people just sit down listen hear the other person accurately say like this is what I heard you say here's what we both want here let's find some common ground like what is a great solution that works for both of us what can we both do to contribute to that and you know when will we revisit this when we like reconnect and make sure that like we're having maintenance conversations along the way to make sure that we're upholding those agreements and that things are going well that's it kind of a simple model but I think that's a useful thing for you to keep in your relationships work relationships as a leader Etc if you notice some conflict that's happening and both people are willing to sit down and try to work it out it's a great way to just sort of facilitate that conversation and that's it all right gotta be awesome thanks for watching and tuning in subscribe to our Channel we put a lot of content on here you can also subscribe to the culture drop mailing list and get these emails in your inbox every Tuesday Morning follow our social media channels uh put a lot of free content out about just be more awesome and building great teams

Channel: Galen Emanuele, Shift Yes

Views: 16,624

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Id: oztmOCegutQ

Length: 5min 21sec (321 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 20 2022