How to Reconcile What You Want with What God Wants (feat. Sr. Maria Regina S.V.)

choice becomes this way in our culture of thinking i have to define myself i have to figure out who i am by what i choose i mean when i go to the grocery store and i see the cereal options i mean the cheerios alone it's a little overwhelming how do you pick hey i'm father mark mary i am sister maria regina and i'm a franciscan friar with renewal i'm sister of life uh sister maria regina welcome back thank you as mentioned last week she's the vocation director for the sisters of life and doing this like three-part series last week we laid the foundation the first question first principle uh who are you sweet lord who am i right and we're gonna get into it in some challenges and some of the truths and temptations um but you feel very strongly that you got to begin with watching laying the foundation it's essential identity receiving the gift knowing who god is and who i am it's essential all right so we're there we've been there we've prayed into that what can what's the next step yes how do we receive the gift what are some things to be aware of along the journey of discernment i think there's some very common truths and common temptations along the journey so i wanted to start with two main kind of ideas along the journey of discernment the first is the idea of choice and i think to speak about choice and discernment my vocation is actually not something i choose and that should take the pressure off in some ways that it's actually like we said before it's receiving a gift i don't have to choose the right one and be afraid that i'm going to make a mistake i'm following a relationship of love i'm receiving a gift and so not to feel the pressure that i have to choose the right vocation secondly this idea of desire desires they're so important you know they're really they're delicate they're deep they touch really sacred places in our hearts and it's important to be in touch with our desires you know to be able to name them to feel them to ask myself what do i really desire you know what am i willing to sacrifice for what do i long for and to name is it just a piece of chocolate or is it a love that will really satisfy my heart you know what do i desire to name those things in prayer with jesus and through naming them it's in the journey of discernment the next step is to surrender them to the lord so what does that kind of look like in discernment i think sometimes we can have a desire for a particular vocation but that desire in and of itself doesn't mean that that's something the lord intends to give us and you know you can think of a silly example i could desire to eat chocolate all day it could be a desire of mine but it's actually not good for me and it's not something the lord wants to give me and so the same truth is present in discernment of vocation i might desire a particular vocation but that might not actually be something that the father wants to give me it might not be for my good and it can be hard for me to see that sometimes but we know that he has the big picture he's got my heart he knows what is going to bring me joy and peace and so as i name my desires going deeper and deeper what's what's at the bottom of that then i surrender them to the father and i say you know father i offer this desire to you for you to fulfill as you know best like you know my heart you know what i'm made for i give this desire to you and over time he he will reveal constantly what his desires for us are so it's like god's desire and my desire surrendering them to him and allowing him to reveal his desires to me sister i'm grateful that you brought these up because for me in my own discernment really a pivotal key part of it was actually desire because my vocation to actually be a friar and to be a priest was not at all like something i had thought of like growing up and it was almost like it's part of it was like kind of like crazy but it but it was like but if i was really in touch and honest with my desires i wanted this it's unique it's not something that i had planned but i actually deeply desired it right and and this is going back to why we it's so important to start with who are you lord and who am i like part of the desire part is knowing who we are but part of the how we're able to actually surrender them with confidence to the lord is being deeply rooted in who he is and i think that it is really important to nor desires but it's also important to surrender and acknowledge that what i desire what i know or i think is my for my good uh i have to surrender to the lord because ultimately he knows what's best right so so now um so one of the things that might happen is there can be a like an experience of like a a conflict and desire where it's gonna be like okay i desire or i feel sort of an attraction for religious life for priesthood but also maybe there's a cute boy or girl and i want a date can we can we date and discern at the same time what do you think about that that's a great question it's a great question father discerning two vocations at once let's be honest it's a little confusing it's a little confusing the image that comes to me when i think about this is it's almost like i'm trying to stir two pots at the same time so there's this pot over here and there's a spot and they're both smelling really good and i i really want both of them and it's when one maybe starts to get a little bit difficult i'm kind of drawn to the other one it's like oh this is getting a little bit difficult and i'm drawn over here it's very difficult to know when our heart is totally open to both which one is is for us if that makes sense so if i'm dating someone the first discernment is to say should i be dating this person is this relationship is this a discernment toward marriage that's the question if i'm if i'm dating someone and i think to take it one disturb at a time so that's the first discernment should i be in this relationship is this a discernment for marriage and answering those questions kind of make the next step clear okay maybe we need to talk about this relationship and where it's going maybe it's clear to me wow i'm i'm not thinking about marriage with this person maybe it's time to think about ending the relationship and then once that clarity has come then is a good time to ask the question of religious life or the priesthood discernment of of serving the lord in an exclusive way so one discernment at a time i think can be really helpful however like you said there should be a healthy attraction to both vocations you know on a on a natural level each of us is made to be a gift you know it's written into our bodies as men and women like we're made for communion we're made for love we're made to be a gift and marriage is a natural vocation it's on a natural level what we're made for and so we should have a desire for marriage and children like that's a natural good and beautiful thing that that you know god established in genesis and so if there's something in my heart that is hesitant when it comes to toward thinking about marriage or maybe a fear of intimacy or uncertainty if i want to be a father or a mother that would be something good to look at with the lord in prayer you know to ask him to shed light on that place in my heart is there healing or growth that can happen there because the call to religious life or the priesthood is actually a supernatural calling to spousal love and spiritual maternity or paternity so the same place in my heart that is made for intimacy and communion and you know being a father and mother that is just gonna come alive in a supernatural way in religious life for the priesthood so it can be really helpful and important to kind of name okay where are my desires for marriage and what does that look like in my heart and uh do i desire religious life like desires like we're talking about important to name these things and that it's a sign you have a healthy heart if you're drawn to both locations i think when it comes to discernment one discernment at a time but healthy attraction to both is really important you know no matter what vocation we're called to we're made in the image of god made to give a gift of ourselves and love and yeah so just if there's hesitancy or fear to look at that with jesus in prayer all right and so you mentioned looking at this with jesus in prayer how do we do that what does that look like yeah prayer i mean prayer is really where it's all at prayer is essential for discernment i i can't say that strong enough prayer is essential for discernment and when i say prayer i i don't mean just you know praying the rosary in my commute or praying the liturgy of the hours those things are good and i would highly recommend them but if i only have half an hour a day for prayer and i'm trying to discern my vocation heart to heart silent prayer with jesus is essential that's the most important thing so i like to think of it where am i hanging out in prayer you know not just externally but internally where am i hanging out in prayer if my vocation is a gift i'm going to receive from the god who loves me i have to be in a place where i can hear his voice so another question i love to pose am i thinking daydreaming or praying about my vocation signs that you're thinking about your vocation include planning trying to rationalize be logical with myself trying to control and understand and in my experience that process often turns into a merry-go-round in my mind and i kind of get stuck going around and around and it's hard to get off and it just leaves me anxious and frustrated you know i know that from experience so thinking about my vocation is not going to get me very far daydreaming about our vocations i used to do this before i was a sister you know i would imagine myself as a sister in an empty cell praying all by myself for hours in mystical prayer and i had these images of what it would look like and afterward i felt kind of empty and unfulfilled because it actually wasn't based in reality you know i was just imagining things but it didn't go anywhere so daydreaming about our vocations you know god is in reality he's he's speaking in reality and in our hearts so our heart is is where we want to be so lastly praying about our vocations prayer is essential i would highly recommend reading the catechism of the catholic church this section on prayer you know it's part four at the end it is so beautiful many awesome nuggets about prayer there saint therese has quoted you know prayer is a is a surge of the heart toward god prayer is where god's heart meets my heart it's an encounter of the heart and i can actually talk to the lord in prayer the same way i would talk to a friend you know i can share with him what's on my heart i can say jesus this is what i'm feeling today i'm really happy about this i'm i was really hurt by that um this memory is coming to me i'm really ashamed of that like actually telling him what's happening in my heart the same way i would tell a friend and after i share that it's kind of quieting my heart and asking him jesus how do you respond to what i just shared with you how do you feel about what i just shared with you you know how do you look at me right now and over time kind of growing in the ability to hear in our hearts his response to that the image of it first and foremost it isn't like looking at a map with jesus okay like where are we going to go or or it's not like it's not just like going through like a pros and cons list but it's um it's heart to heart right and it's it is because it's a love thing it's a beloved thing and so uh the image of discernment is is heart to heart i love that yeah i love what you're saying i think sometimes when we're discerning our vocation we tend to look more at the vocations and less at jesus we think more about what does he want i have to figure it out and less at jesus whereas sometimes when we're discerning it can actually be helpful to say i'm going to think less about my vocation and i'm going to look more at jesus because he is the one who's going to reveal it and so if i'm not looking at him it's going to be hard to find but if i'm looking at him i know with trust and confidence he's got me he's leaning so it's it's like the emphasis is on the relationship and less about trying to figure it out i know for myself when i catch myself in prayer thinking on that merry-go-round i'll say okay sister you know get we're going to move from your mind to your heart so sometimes i'll even just close my eyes and i make it this conscious movement okay i'm getting out of my head and i'm moving to my heart i'm going to be in my heart in prayer and bring that to jesus because that's where i can receive the gift that he wants to offer well thank you sister great great to have you back we're um we're laying some foundation get into this i think really beautifully uh next week even kind of a little bit more practical as well and um yeah so thank you for being with you thanks sister thank you um for for being with us here we remember we are pilgrims on this earth someone's pericarino spoco a poco little by little obama sagar we're gonna make it god bless y'all

Channel: Ascension Presents

Views: 30,654

Keywords: spiritual gift of discernment, discerning of spirits, ascension, ascension press, ascension presents, catholic questions, discernment of priesthood, religious life vocation, vocation to the priesthood, vocation to religious life, vocation to priesthood and religious life, catholic discernment, how to discern, catholic advice, catholic inspiration, catholic motivation, cfrs, franciscan friars of the renewal, fr. Mark-mary, fr mark mary, father mark-mary, catholic friars

Id: 322oG_t7lb4

Length: 14min 9sec (849 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 29 2022