How to Quit Masturbation w/ Dr. Trish Leigh

welcome back uh i am psyched that you are  here and today we are going to talk about   masturbation and you know what green day  says if masturbation's lost it's fun you're   effing lazy well i disagree and we're gonna  break that down in this here uh episode so   what we're gonna talk about is masturbation first  of all we're gonna talk about can it be addictive   and how it's related to corn consumption two  we're going to talk about the neuroscience behind   masturbation then we're going to talk about how  masturbation impacts your memory your thinking   your anxiety your mental health then we're going  to transition into your physical health and talk   about erectile dysfunction then we're going to  move on we're going to talk about the relationship   to testosterone we're going to talk about how  that how masturbation impacts your sex life   and then finally we are going to talk about how  you can stop masturbating if i have inspired you   to contemplate it by the end of this episode so  let's dig in masturbation can it be addictive and   how is it related to pornography and you know what  we're going to transition right into neuroscience   when we talk about this so absolutely compulsive  masturbation is a thing and if you've seen my   youtube channel i take some heat when i talk about  masturbation but it's heat i'm willing to take   because i have created a channel on youtube where  i tell the world what it needs to hear not what   it wants to hear and i know that many men want  to hear that masturbation is harmless that it   doesn't impact anybody it's just a harmless way  to de-stress and to you know fill the boredom   of the holes in your schedule and it's a way  for you to have a sex life without a partner   you know i've heard it all but the reality is in  fact it's coupled and associated with pornography   consumption or the fantasy that results from there  of thereof and it is not good for your brain thus   it will impact your mental and emotional health it  will impact your physical health and it's going to   show up in your world so in fact masturbation can  be addictive and we know that there is compulsive   masturbation so when other professionals are  talking about masturbation being fine for you   or even good for you they are not talking about  people who struggle with compulsive masturbation   which is the majority of people who masturbate  and honestly i just reached out to a professional   and no it's not one that i've talked to on my  podcast yet and no it's not a professional should   who should even be talking about masturbation  but i'm sure this person is looking for clicks   and if you're listening uh you can search your  heart because i'm sure you're looking for clicks   by telling the world that you know masturbation's  harmless everybody masturbates there's no shame   surrounding masturbation even though the  professional whispered the word masturbation which   assumes there is shame associated with it so  you know i won't tell you what you want to hear   which other people are telling you that  it's fine and it doesn't impact you or   your relationship because that's bs so  yes in fact it could be addictive you can   get in a loop where you need it to feel okay about  your life it becomes your number one self-soothing   tool that's the why behind masturbation it has  nothing to do with sex for most people and you   might not be aware of that but if you peel the  layers back you might find out that that in fact   is true and i'm spitting straight facts there but  the neuroscience behind masturbation especially   if you have been consuming pornography the  neuroscience behind it is this when you were young   you found pornography in masturbation and you  likely found it in a world that's difficult   to exist in right the human existence it is a  challenging one in fact so you found porn and   masturbation and it made your brain feel good  you felt that rush in your brain it took you   away from the worries of the day or your life it  made you feel good for a time you were watching   pornography which was highly exhilarating you were  masturbating and it gave you physical stimulation   that you had never felt before because  most people experience this when they're 10   11 even younger so this is this new mental and  physical stimulation that is awesome and it is   literally rescuing you rescuing you from your  life now this is the way that your brain works   your brain will keep going in the direction of the  reward and we know when dopamine floods into your   system it's a dopamine deluge and it's a highly  rewarding neurotransmitter it's the pleasure   seeking neurotransmitter so it gives you pleasure  and when it's coupled to porn and masturbation   basically what you're training your brain to  realize is that the way that i can deal with   difficulties in my life is by masturbating to porn  or to fantasy to take me away from that and give   me this amazing feeling not only in my brain but  also in my body and it is a neurochemical cascade   that makes you feel that way and it's primarily  dopamine when you get the dopamine deluge what   it teaches you is that there's a your brain is  that there's a dopamine deficit in your world   so ultimately you keep going back to porn  and masturbation to feel good but you don't   even realize it's making your life worse your  brain thinks there's no dopamine in the world   that there's only stress because of cortisol and  your work doesn't do it for you your friendships   don't do it for you your hobbies don't do it for  you and you find yourself back into the screen   masturbation so over time what happens is you  develop a masturbation habit and you convince   yourself it's harmless it's no big deal it's  your way to de-stress but in fact it is keeping   you coming back for more because of the dopamine  deluge you've linked your brain neurologically to   your self physically so if you're linked to your  brain and we know when you have sex with a partner   you link your brain to that partner neurologically  that's the beauty of it so if you have a partner   and you have healthy sexuality there's dopamine  for pleasure serotonin for happiness and oxytocin   for connection or linking and so when you find  a partner and you get those brain juices flowing   when you're with that partner you've linked  yourself to that partner which makes you want   to go back to that partner for more and more not  only physical intimacy but intimacy so that you   have love and happiness connection and pleasure  but if you keep masturbating you're literally   neurologically linking your brain sexually to  your self and that is a self-defeating loop   because it keeps you caught in it so you might  know that this is true if you prefer masturbation   over having sex and you might want to have sex but  it feels better to masturbate or it feels better   to masturbate to porn you're stuck in that loop  so that's the neuroscience behind it is you're   getting this flood of dopamine and your brain's  feeling good and oh sorry i'm dropping things here   uh your brain is feeling good and you continue to  want to come back for more and more and more okay   so let's talk about how that impacts your memory  so let's move on to porn masturbation and memory   loss so when you masturbate you are flooding your  brain with dopamine so what that does is it floods   your frontal lobe which is in charge of working  memory concentration focus socialization judgment   impulse control it's in charge of all of that and  you're flooding the reward center so what happens   is when you're flooded out with dopamine your  brain can't think and it can't remember as well   so the more consistently and frequently you  masturbate you're knocking out the frontal lobe   and it becomes this vicious cycle that is impacted  by neurochemical release so depending upon where   you are in the cycle you'll have the worst brain  fog and then when you move through the cycle it   might get a little better and then it'll get worse  again and so it becomes this vicious cycle but i   want you to know every time you flood your brain  out you're making it so that your memory memory   will actually be negatively impacted from that  dopamine flood now obviously it's more involved   than that one other aspect is that we know  this again from the science is that the more   you consume porn and masturbate you're increasing  slowing in the frontal lobe so you're slowing your   brain down it's like you're putting the brakes  on your frontal lobe and that's another reason   why memory and thinking becomes impaired and you  might experience brain fog and you know thinking   and is not going to be as good or work out as well  for you okay let's move on because we're trying to   move through lots of things here in this here  uh in this here episode let's move to erectile   dysfunction so hopefully you kind of get the gist  of you know you've got all this going on you think   it's about physical stimulation but where do  you think the physical stimulation comes from   your brain you're feeling it in your brain  and it's delivering the signals to your body   so now when the signals are delivered it's  delivering the signals to your mind and your   body so that's why this slowing can impact your  thinking in your mind your cognitive behaviors   but then it also can impact erectile dysfunction  and delayed ejaculation so it works like this   if you're desensitizing the reward center in  the middle of your brain you're knocking out the   receptors the reward sectors that basically can  perceive arousal and perceive levels of arousal so   porn's a super normal stimulus when you're  watching sexual acts and behaviors that   don't actually exist in the real world  especially in the way that it's portrayed   with partners that don't exist in the real world  it is a super normal stimulus it gives your brain   tons of mental arousal which means you get large  amounts of dopamine at the same time masturbation   is extreme amounts of physical stimulation i work  with some people who their grip is so tight they   have hand prints on their penis the amount of  physical stimulation that some people apply   is extreme and so it's anywhere from extreme  to still more than what would happen if you   were having sex with a partner so that physical  stimulation makes it so that your brain needs   that level of mental and physical stimulation to  be aroused so now it's time to have sex with your   honey and when you're with a partner you don't  have that physical stimulation you don't have that   tight grip and at the same time you don't have the  mental stimulation so now you can't get where you   need to get being with your partner and we also  know from the science that if you're consuming   porn that your attraction level to your partner  literally goes down so you're just less aroused by   your partner even if she was amazing because she's  not doing the funky things that you're watching on   the screen she can never live up to this super  normal stimulus thus even if you have the best   partner in the world it's still not to the same  level as the screen and if you're not masturbating   and you're having uh your your healthy levels of  sex you're not getting the physical stimulation   leads to erectile dysfunction you can't get an  erection which means that you can't have a sexual   experience which means now you have performance  anxiety we know performance anxiety is going   through the roof for young people and they are  not associating it with porn and masturbation but   the performance anxiety is coming from the fact  that they may not be able to get an erection plus   they're worried about sex as a performance because  they watch it as a performance not experience   it as an experience the same time they might not  be as aroused by their partner and they don't have   the same mental and physical stimulation so let's  jump to how it impacts your sex life and then   we'll go back to testosterone so we know that the  way that it impacts your sex life is now you might   have delayed ejaculation because it takes you  forever to get anywhere near the arousal and this   is how you know you might have a problem you're  with your partner but you have to go to fantasy   to get the mental stimulation going you have to  recall some porn scenes that you've seen you have   to run a highlight reel you have to think about  your favorite porn performer many people have   said to me before so i should be thinking about my  wife when we have sex yes obviously if you're not   that's a problem at the same time if you're having  sexual intercourse with your partner and you're   feeling a really strong urge to masturbate or do  some other activity that gives you more physical   stimulation it's because your brain needs it  it's no longer getting the level of stimulation   from your partner that it would so let's just say  if masturbation and porn were out of the equation   and now you're with your partner it would feel  amazing and that's why when you give up porn   and masturbation your sex life goes from zero to  hero it goes through the roof once your brain has   unwired the porn and masturbation pattern rewired  into healthy sexuality and mood regulation   sex becomes better than ever as it should be  because that's what's healthy so it impacts your   sex life in that way now let me tell you something  else your partner knows things are getting funky   in the bedroom so even if she doesn't know that  you watch pornography if she doesn't know that   you masturbate daily she knows something's up  she knows that you're not enjoying it that much   it's getting weird and she's not enjoying it that  much things are going wrong so i encourage you to   know that don't blame your partner i have so  many people that i work with and they're like   yeah if my wife wanted to have more sex with me  i wouldn't have to watch porn that's not true   because you started watching porn and masturbating  long before you met your partner and then you've   continued it and then your relationship's gotten  funky so it's dynamical the dynamics need to shift   and porn needs to come out of the equation because  when porn's in the equation we know that divorce   and breakups are more than doubled and the desire  to cheat or infidelity is 300 increase which is a   terrifying statistic um okay so let us move  on to testosterone because i've read a few   studies in terms of testosterone what we  know is that abstinence from masturbation in   from orgasm but some of these studies  looked at at masturbation from   abstinence from orgasm can increase  testosterone one of the studies shows   that it increased 104 percent which is awesome  obviously on day seven and so on the seventh   day there was a spike in serum testosterone we  also know that there's another study that was a   three-week abstinence period and testosterone  levels increased over that amount of time so   another thing we know is that  orgasm creates more testosterone so   there's enough science supporting abstinence  as a way to improve the way that your body   makes and utilizes testosterone and i know many  men are worried about their testosterone levels   and i know a lot of the dudes that i interact  with are on testosterone supplements and i'm   like dudes if you just stop watching porn and  masturbating your testosterone levels would even   out you wouldn't need those supplements you're  doing it to yourself you're draining yourself   you're making your brain's electrical  energy go back and forth pendulum effect   you're making those neurotransmitter cascades  go wonky when the system stabilizes your sleep   improves your workouts improves improve your  muscle growth improves things get better when   the system is stable when you keep watching porn  and masturbating you're destabilizing the system   and then the nervous system then the body the mind  and the brain are not able to handle things well   okay so we also know that when you are stuck in  this loop of masturbation especially when it's   associated with porn that it can be so difficult  to get out how do you stop masturbating let me   tell you how number one you have to stop watching  porn i know it's challenging but you are frying   your brain you're damaging your brain and it is  the thing that's keeping the masturbation alive   because i challenge people to masturbate without  fantasy on a schedule so you're not using it to   de-stress or to fill the boredom and then stay  with the sensations in your body and so many guys   will like burst out laughing and be like what's  the point and i'll be like exactly that's exactly   it there is no point if you're just doing it on a  schedule with no fantasy especially no porn and if   you're just staying in your body but that is you  know a quote unquote healthy masturbation habit   if you are in a culture or a religion where you're  not able to have healthy sexuality with a partner   at this point in your life so how to quit it is  to stay out of the screen and make a pivot plan   what you're going to do instead of masturbating  to decrease your stress levels and to not be bored   especially if you're using masturbation as a sleep  tool find a way to wind down at the night if you   find that you're masturbating in the morning  you're likely trying to get a dopamine hit to   help you get through the day so build in more  breaks in the day build in more mood regulation   activities favorite hobbies that you love to  do and you won't need to masturbate anymore   okay i hope that helps you out if you're looking  for help on your journey please go over to dr   trishlee.com on my 90 day program has everything  that you need to leave masturbation behind for   good um when i work with people what i do is i  can individualize you know kind of how you can   break this loop of masturbation it's different for  all different people depending upon what you have   going on and i would be happy to help you okay  as always control your brain or it'll control you

Channel: Dr. Trish Leigh, P*rn Brain Rewire

Views: 333,491

Keywords: quit porn, how to quit porn, steps to quit porn, porn addiction, sex addiction, sex addiction recovery, stop masturbating, quit masturbation, stop jerking off, Dr. Trish Leigh, trish leigh, porn, porno, sex, erectile dysfunction, nofap, no fap, nofap motivation, nopmo, need porn, porn addiction coach, stop masturbation, pmo addiction, porn brain rewire, sexuality, pmo, how to stop masturbating, is masturbating good for you, excessive masturbation, how to increase testosterone

Id: lt6t3sDyyXs

Length: 19min 30sec (1170 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 14 2022