How to MASTER the SKILL of COMMUNICATION!

there isn't anything that you can possibly do that makes you more competent in everything you do then to learn how to communicate never make a point without a story and never tell a story without a point I'll give you a couple of key things on speaking for everybody wanna be happy build a life not just a business so today let's leave your best believe life and learn how to master your communication skills okay let's kick it off with rule number one believe in what you say with IDI midlet my first time I talked I literally went up and blanked out like I literally could not think I could not see the card how I fixed it speaking was over time but I'll give you a couple key things on speaking for everybody one I had to I had to figure out you know what someone said to me cuz you love baseball you don't stutter when you talk about baseball you don't get insecure I go well I love that and I believe in it they're like oh you don't you know you talk about your kids you're great I thought oh there's a correlation here between me actually saying what I believe and what I'm passionate about in my ability to communicate it and so that now my first layer is always I must be passionate about it and I must believe it and I'm never doing an impression of another person so I always come from a place of saying what I really believe because you can't transfer to somebody that which you don't experience yourself I can give you passion I can give you energy I can give you my belief if I'm experiencing it big key is a speaker I'll give everybody stop trying to convince everybody of what you're saying that's not the threshold of being a good communicator people do not need to believe what you're saying they need to believe you believe what you're saying and as long as they believe you believe what you're saying you're an effective speaker I stopped trying to get people to believe me there's a neediness there's a salesmanship to that I stopped that it's a subtle difference I just want you to believe I believe it that's influence influences you believe I believe it number two be open to the unknown with simon Sinek rarely are we instant experts you may have a particular gift or affinity toward something but you still get better you know people would pay me high compliments when I started speaking and then people who've seen me a year or two later say that I'm even better and I feel it why is that because you you you learn more you know I think that hubris is dangerous I think to think that you're an expert in anything is a foolish pursuit you're never you're never as good as you could be there's always room for improvement there's always room to get better you know that does mean you have to listen to all the advice just you know not necessarily does everybody know best but but to believe that you can be better and to believe that you can offer more is a constant pursuit you know I used to think being a public speaker meant being poised and presenting in a way that was compelling and speaking at the right pace and that's that's a part of it but but I have been taking more risks lately doing things that are very unstructured and very uncomfortable and I will now do like if I have an hour to speak I'd rather speak for 20 minutes and do 40 minutes worth of questions and who knows how that's gonna go and that to me is the best and so I'm a better speaker because now I'm Way more open to the unknown we're a few years ago that that would've scared me also if you want to learn how to build your confidence check out my 250 for confident series it's free the link is in the description below and even though I'm gonna sell you the most beautiful hammer I'm not gonna guarantee the structural integrity of the house if you're gonna speak effectively you have to know way more than you're talking about rule number three practice more with Jordan Peterson I'm incredibly nervous to talk in front of you because you've got to be one of the most formidable people that I've ever heard of or ever listened to ever seen so my question is again you're one of the best communicators that I've ever listened to if I could be half as good at you or at communicating as you are I would be set how can I teach myself to do that practice you know really like well there's a couple of things is helps to read a lot it really helped to write so if you want to make yourself articulate which is a very good idea then not only should you read but you should write down what you think and if you can do that a little bit every day 15 minutes maybe you could steal 15 minutes and do it every day but if you do that for 10 years you really straighten out your thinking if you're gonna speak effectively you have to know way more than you're talking about you know so if you this is often difficult for beginning lecturers at university because they'll do a lecture on a topic but they only know as much as they're saying in the lecture and they get kind of stuck to their notes because of it but you want to know ten times as much as you are saying in the lecture and then you can specify a stepping path through it and elaborate with the other things that you know but to do that you have to do a lot of reading but you also have to do a lot of reading because that's where the synthesize that's where the synthesizing comes so that's on the input side and then on the output side well there's some tricks techniques let's say is like if you're speaking in front of a group you are not delivering a talk to a group that's not what you're doing the talk isn't a package thing that you present to a group there isn't a group there's a bunch of individuals and you talk to them so when I talk to a group I always talk to people one at a time and that makes it easier to because you know how to talk to a person it's like can you talk to a thousand people well probably not because it's too intimidating but there isn't a thousand people there there's a thousand individuals and so you just look at an individual and you say something and you can tell if they're engaged they look confused or they look interested or they look angry or they look bored or maybe they're asleep in which case you look at someone else and they give you feedback about how you're doing and so one thing is to to have something to say yeah but there thing is pay attention to who you're talking to because unless you're very badly socialized and that seems unlikely in your case because you know you present yourself at least moderately well you know and well I mean I don't know you very well but at first but on first sight you know you're doing fine so the probability that if you pay attention to the individuals that you're talking to that your natural wealth of social skill will manifest itself is extremely high and so you don't deliver a talk to an audience that's a really bad way of thinking about you're actually engaged in a conversation with an audience even if they're not talking they're nodding and shifting position and you know looking like this or and you can you can pull all that in and and and use it to govern the level at which you're addressing the entire audience so the last thing I would say is well having the aim to be a good communicator is a good start and you think well I could bunch us that to some degree well there isn't anything that you can possibly this is the whole point of a liberal education there isn't anything that you can possibly do that makes you more competent in everything you do than to learn how to communicate I don't care if you're gonna be a carpenter I mean being a carpenter by the way is very difficult especially if you're a good carpenter but if you're good at communicating as a carpenter you're like ten times better as a carpenter so the and this is something that the liberal arts colleges I think and I don't know if they've forgotten it but they don't do a very good job of marketing it's like what's the use of a bachelor's degree a Bachelor of Arts it's like well you can think you can write you can speak you've read something it's like the economic value that is incalculable the people that I've watched in my life have been spectacularly successful are they have skills clearly that that's a minimum precondition but they're also very very good at articulating themselves and so whenever they negotiate they're successful well that's kind of like the deaf of success in life right you negotiate and your six doesn't mean you win because if you're a good negotiator if you're really good negotiator everybody walks away from the negotiation thrilled and so then people line up to do things with you so and that's all that's all dependent on your ability to communicate so practice rule number four master storytelling with Les Brown never make a point without a story and never tell a story without a point that's number one that's keen because stories can be used to travel to people's lives yeah not just anchor two points but it creates a significant emotional event and that's how human behaviors transform we have emotionally an emotional memory the next thing in and speaking there is some fear and that fear is always there I never assumed that I know where that audience going to believe each audience they have their own personality and each audience their audience inside of each audience that's separated by age by race by income by education the other thing that's crucial in speaking is that as you speak and as you look at the audience always take the time to find out who they are and all thy getting get understanding so I have a needs assessment that I sent out and I asked some questions you know what are the things that you want this audience to walk away with what are the things that you've done things that that's stressing you out what's the unspoken conversation so I sent out this needs assessment I talked with a CEO I do research to find out their mission statement I talked the marketing director and then I interview the top performers if it's of sales organization I talked to the top performers and then the next step I interview people in the audience if you were in my position what are the things that people in the audience need to hear if you were in my position that you would suggest I asked them individually these five people and then when I'm on stage I integrate that I marry that to navigate an experience as I said Oliver Wendell Holmes said that once a man a woman mine has been expanded with an idea concept or experience it could never be satisfied to going back to where it was so when you bring all those elements in there with humor with quotes statistics and stories you're able to create special moments that can transform that audience the other thing when you tell a story don't just tell the story experience the story and the audience will go there when you see the story yeah it's got to be the story the embodiment of the story so that the audience as a result of hearing it that they can't rest that you start showing up in their dreams and rule number five the last one before a very special bonus clip is commit emotionally with me this is where a lot of entrepreneurs really fall down you've got your powerful opinion you know what you stand for you know what you're trying to communicate but when you get in front of a camera or when you get down to writing it doesn't sway people it's not emotional enough you could be saying all the best words when you get in front of a camera to make a video but because you are talking in a very boring very non exciting manner and because you're so worried about saying the perfect words that you are memorizing something or you are looking at your script or trying to read from a teleprompter nobody is going to care or listen to you you need to have emotional commitment you need to feel the thing and how important it is while you are saying it for me I'm envisioning all of you I'm envisioning all the entrepreneurs that I've worked with who have these are amazing ideas and they never get them out because they can't communicate and even though I'm sitting here in an office by myself and there's nobody around to actually connect with I'm just talking to a camera I'm trying to channel you I'm trying to channel all the people that I've connected with and seen and I want to make sure that your business does well thank you getting this self as part of that which is why I'm doing this video and hopefully the care the love the energy comes through in the content that I make and so sales and convincing people not enough against what they want but in a positive way like this is something that you guys can get together on is about the energy transfer you are not just selling a concept or an idea you are transferring energy whoever is more confident wins whoever is more convincing wins and it's usually from whoever believes in their thing more if you absolutely believe in your thing and that this is right and it's for them when they need to do this thing because it's in their best interest not because they're just trying to sell something down their throat but you really really really really care and if they feel that care as opposed to just words that you're saying that's how you bring them on board it's great to have the best words but more important is the emotional commitment that you have behind them now I've got a special bonus cut from Dan Locke on how to create participation energy that I think you're gonna enjoy but before that it's time for the three point landing questions time to go from just watching a video to taking action here we go question number one where in your week will you commit to practicing your communication skills number two what is the most important message that you believe in that you need to spread and number three what will you remind yourself up before filming so that you will commit emotionally to the message I always want to create what I call a participation energy participation energy meaning I want them to participate so imagine if I'm on stage and I'm just talking and talking and talking and talking and lecturing right and preaching about certain concepts well it's easy to get nervous because you always worried about if I'm saying the right thing but if I have a participation energy going on a learning energy a a fun energy going on example I would always ask them and how many of you believe in this how many agree with that how many ever experienced this I get them to put up their hand I get them to yell back the answer I get them to fill in the blank I gave them to discussion talking among each other when I create that kind of safe and gee celebration energy learning energy guess what you get less nervous if you want to master your communication skills with Stephen Kelly check out their video right there next to me I think you'll enjoy it continue to believe and I'll see you there we're of value for you guys and we're helping you grow your businesses be successful live your dreams so if we can do that you know

Channel: Evan Carmichael

Views: 82,711

Rating: 4.9361305 out of 5

Keywords: entrepreneur, yt:cc=on, how to master the skill of communication, how to speak better, speaking skill, improve communication skills, public speaking, effective communication, improve social communication skills, how to communicate effectively with people, improve communication skills for interview, entrepreneurship motivation, how to talk, how to talk to anyone, improve social skills, personal development

Id: BjEAkiSgTqk

Length: 15min 49sec (949 seconds)

Published: Sat May 04 2019