How to make Money in Arbonne (AntiMLM Parody)

so you've joined our bond you've been doing it for a while now and you're probably thinking why don't I have my free car yet my mansion my six-figure income and all the free time that I was promised well you've come to the right place first of all it's your fault it's not the system creating a saturated market no it's new things pull your finger out of your ass look at all of these other people in our bond who are doing so well and on millionaires why do you think you're not doing as well as them no it's nothing to do with them getting in early being complete psychopaths and already having our I'm following before joining on no there's nothing to do with that it's because you're secondly you're going to want to sponsor people you can sponsor for people under you to do the exact same thing you do and then they sponsor four people each under them to do the exact same thing that they do and then it goes on and on and on so sponsoring means recruiting people into my downline that I can make money off no it's small Turing them to make a better life for themselves and for others it's a bit like a charity but wait so I'm actively recruiting my own competition on entrepreneurs supposed to find like gaps in the market to fill instead of further saturating an already saturated market I must say this is looking awfully like is virtually a rectangle scheme in a rectangle scheme anybody can pass anybody else but that's not the definition of a but it's it's shaped like that because of the amount of people at the bottom versus the amount of people at the top all those people are lazy and didn't work hard enough you're not tired of working the nine-to-five you need to have an entrepreneur mindset hashtag bas pain are you tired of working to make somebody else rich but in the job I'm at now the amount that I earn doesn't directly affect the amount that my boss earns but in this system however much I earn directly affects how much everybody else above me earns isn't that the definition of working to make somebody else rich you're your own boss you have no one to answer to at all anymore financial freedom but how I'm on my own boss when I have to adhere to a strict policies and procedures manual doesn't sound like being your own boss to me no one wants to read that so how do you recruit a doubt I mean how do you sponsor people I hear you ask well you need to send a message to everyone you even briefly bullied in high school hell even some messages to your primary school buddies hey Tara it used to like Lego how about building your own business hey Sammy still pissing your pants how about pissing your income into the wind now it's always a really good idea to recruit as many of your close friends and family as possible in fact make a list right now of a hundred people that you know my relationship with my bestest friend has never been better ever since we introduced a system into our friendship that means however what she is directly affects my income oh yes she is now one second always on the grind you know hi Rachel yeah I'm great thanks yeah yeah let's meet up for a coffee sometime anyway by the way do you think you and your team are going to make your targets this month what do you mean Briana's dropped out well drop her back the in or I'm not gonna meet my quota for my Mercedes payment this month and it's gonna be in my tow truck in the morning Rachel no I don't care if she's got a serious illness I don't care if she's dead Rachel just make her buy some mascara call Brianna now Rachel Rachel she's gone to court Briana anyway what was I saying yeah it's always a really good idea to sponsor your closest friends and family if they don't want to be a part of the dream then it might be a good idea to choose not to interact anymore how about keeping track of all of your figures so keeping track of all of your expenses not if your sales on a spreadsheet so you can see exactly how much money you're making you know like any entrepreneur should do oh I would advise against doing that Instagram is your spreadsheet now instead of looking at boring numbers though you can look at inspirational quotes that keep the dream alive I would only take advice from something now on if it was either written in cursive font or on a pink background okay okay so just one more question do you have any tips about selling the actual products so we're meant to be independent consultants for the products aren't we and we're supposed to be selling to loyal and returning customers all the time and people who aren't attempting to be independent consultants themselves oh man you are funny you're gonna go far with that sense of humor girl you

Channel: münecat

Views: 31,615

Rating: 4.924603 out of 5

Keywords: arbonne, arbone, arbonne nvp, arbonne rvp, multi-level marketing, mlm, anti-mlm, pyramid scheme, bossbabe, antimlm

Id: QC_o8R4hA5s

Length: 5min 29sec (329 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 20 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/BigBob-omb91]

Anyone interested in more videos about predatory MLMs and their shitty tactics should check out Kiki Chanel on youtube. She has a lot of good content on the subject.

[u/theBIZNUSbitch]

A coworker of mine is now an Arbonne “Executive District Manager” (whatever the hell that means) and keeps trying to recruit people right now because the job is “recession proof”. These bitches are ruthless

[u/erinsnives]

I love this video. I just was messaging back and forth with a close family friend last night, who decided to join Monat. I was very nice and gave her a lot of facts and information, but they told her there was a "30 day money back guarantee " so she's still gonna try it for 30 days. 🤦‍♀️ bless. I tried!

[u/Timelessemptiness]

Books, movies, music, and a very select few things bring success overnight. This ain't one of them.

[u/sideofspread]

Very interesting...

I noticed recently Javi gained a little bit of chubb (I think there was a post pointing it out). He also JUST joined this stupid arbonne garbage.

My money is on he PURPOSEFULLY let him self go a little bit, and now he can get back on his regular regimen. That way when their "30 day challenge is over" Javi is gonna look like he lost weight because of the arbonne products. Then boom HUGE push for that crap.

Javi is WAY too fit and self disciplined (when it comes to fitness only....) to suddenly gain a dad bod. My money is on he knows an actual diet and exercise regimen that will help him lose weight and look fit quickly. And I promise you it's got nothing to do with arbonne.

[u/Yeahashley]

I love this

[u/wildnaturemama]

I love how all of these predatory MLM’s are being exposed at this level. At this point if you do the minimum amount of research into any of them, typically the top results are the in depth reports about them and how much of a scam they really are. That’s why I don’t have sympathy for those that fall for it. The facts are out there.

If you’re going to ignore factual reports and blindly follow some bullshitting hun desperate for more down lines, you might as well join a cult, because you pretty much already did.

[u/amek33]

Who's Lauren?

[u/sunset_sunshine30]

Hahaha brilliant