How To Make A Good Confession | The Catholic Talk Show

hey everybody welcome back to another episode of the catholic talk show today we're going to be examining how we can make better confessions that's right we're going to give you some practical tips to get the most out of confession and really open yourself up to repentance and the forgiveness of god saint augustine who authored the confessions and had one of the most epic conversions in the history of the church shares the confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works so it's kind of important that we would confess well [Music] [Applause] [Music] all right great topic here i'm stoked about this i really liked the conversation we had planning for this and i think we're uh really excited to hear you know everybody's take on on how they prepare for confession yeah i mean there's confession and there's a good confession i mean how often have you went into confession and left some of your sins kind of hidden in a cabinet how often have you not really fully opened up how often has it become something that's mechanical and it's just a formality of of a sacrament instead of a real credit core a real opening up of yourself and a real moment of repentance and conversion good word there creative core beautiful what does that mean it's a cry of the heart this is beautiful i didn't know that look at that but but it's so true you know you saying that i remember back when i was a kid and going to confession and not burying my soul and still walking out of the confessional and burying that disposition of sadness yeah and and it's true we we need to make good confessions and that's what this show is about is making a thorough and deep confession so that the effect of the sacrament can be clearly experienced yeah and and i think a lot of people have experienced this they go in the confession and they will confess maybe the bare minimum that they need to and it's almost like mechanics it's like you're kind of going through the surface level of okay i spoke ill of my neighbor i you know i i gossip kind of it's like a checklist and and that's important you know to have a recollective experience of you know kind and number but you can't stop there like you have to realize how these sins or these activities of your life since your last confession are affecting you spiritually and you want to open up the depth of your soul within the context of confession in those spaces i mean i think of mary magdalene getting on the ground you know getting on the ground weeping and cleaning the lord's feet with her tears and her hair true that's the kind of confession you want yeah not uh you know i told de la crosse he was a wiener and i called howard a nerd you know i witnessed that well no that's why i'm trying to do this episode because i'm not sorry for it i still feel justified but um yeah so let's talk about it like i think the first step in really understanding how to make a good confession is really understanding why you start to feel the need to go to confession like how your conscience starts to pick on you and how you're like i mean i mean there's obviously like the the self-awareness of having committed immortal said okay that's that's an obvious one okay and that's the uh um the technical aspect of it i'd say but how do you really know like look man it's time to get rid of this and really free myself and really be able to you know clean the gunk off my wings so i can actually fly you know sheila it's like you know it's so important to realize that feeling of a need to go is really based on a relationship with god that you're having on a day-to-day basis and that and that relationship is the premise of of what is the catalyst to that movement of actually going yeah yeah and and my experience in confession is that it's it's it's part of your journey and your relationship with christ and the church it develops over time um and and it's something that should be considered uh as a staple of your relationship with god right i mean this is not because we're always sinners like we're always turning into always going to be sitting like the whole premise of the church is to pour out the mercy of god to draw people closer to christ these are things that he instituted they're lifelong the sacraments are lifelong our baptism never goes away it's constantly there um it can be fed spiritually by reading scriptures by going receive time the confession is the same thing and so like what a lot of people think is like i it's kind of like a nitpicky thing it's like i did this and then i feel bad and then i shouldn't even go to confession because last time i went and it's like no if you if you look at this and take a step back what you're doing is you're incorporating something into the life of god inside of you that he's granted to you through baptism and so feeling the need to go there's a difference between guilt and contrition contrition is something we can pray for it's a grace it's a grace from god if if you're gonna make confession a part of your spiritual life that's the prayer you want you want to see how sinful you are you want to be able to do that because you you're because you when you take that real contrition to christ that's that's the synopsis of your joy and your love for him amen right and isn't that scene in the description that you shared of mary magdalene at the feet of jesus like that's exactly it and like you said like jesus instituted this in his church he instituted this relationship the incarnation is god literally coming to earth to establish and institute this relationship so when he he wants this in the church active in the gospel of john chapter 20 when he had said this he showed them his hands and his sides then the disciples were glad when they saw the lord jesus said to them again peace be with you as the father sent me even so i send you and when he had said this he breathed on them and said to them receive the holy spirit if you forgive the sins of any they are forgiven if you retain the sins of any they are retained and this is exactly what you're saying the lacrosse is jesus institutes this in the church and he puts it into motion and we get to participate in this beautiful intimate relationship with god who is merciful yeah and your prayer for contrition develops over time like i mean i look at my contrition in the the beginning stages after i have my conversion uh and and how that contrition has developed and matured right like like i i you know like the the the suffering that i inflict on myself you know and the contrition that i experience now has developed over time it was it's not just this constant contrition that's the same it's it's a relationship that you have and i think that's very important as we go into this to say hey look if if you're going to incorporate confession in your life pray for a perfect contrition pray to see your sins and tell jesus that you want to be closer to him through the sacrament that he's granted the church because that's what it's for yeah i think that's a great tip in making a good confession is finding the distinction as to why you're going to confession right you know is it guilt is it contrition is it a full openness and a um a um what's the word i'm looking for maybe like a vulnerability to god where you're completely open with god anything that's done in the darkness comes to light and if you're holding back anything because you don't you're keeping up just a little bit of a wall to protect yourself you're you're short selling your relationship with christ and you're short selling your ability to receive forgiveness you know there's something to be said for guilt guilt is good you should feel guilty when you do something you're standing self-accused by your conscience but then the desire for contrition is even more powerful than just guilt alone guilt alone is what judas led you know is why judas hung himself contrition is why peter's the first pope right and there's a big difference between those types of things they're they're a progression and one shouldn't exist without the other contrition without guilt is empty and guilt without contrition is damning right yeah absolutely you know i want to share um some wisdom here from saint francis de sales in in that respect and bringing your deeds to the light is is very important but you know people may have the question and i hear it all the time like why do i have to confess my sins to a priest we actually did a show on that and we could link that show in in the show notes for this but um you know why why would i manifest my my sins in the context of something like that well christ in his in his wisdom ultimate wisdom established the order of the priesthood you know as in persona christi he is continuing this ministry of forgiveness so that we can come into these vulnerable positions open ourselves open ourselves up in the context with someone that is flesh and blood in front of you and that is helpful to express contrition because you know when i when i think about who i've opened up my heart to um in my life primarily like at the deepest level was my confessor you know that's where i could truly be myself yeah and it's the only place that i could truly be myself in all reality you're not holding back anything you're not holding back i learned so much from father moore in the seminary like because i would just throw it all out and he would just direct all of what i threw out he would just direct it to god and he's like you know you can share this with him you can and so like my relationship with god grew into a more of a more of a a personal relationship i don't want to cheat in that word but it was more you know personal like he wants to hear all this stuff and he and he is so and i agree he was my spiritual director as well all throughout the major seminary and he almost becomes invisible on senior michael moore he becomes invisible in the sacrament and it gives you such an openness to just pour everything out and like you said he just continues to direct it to jesus direct it to jesus and what a gift to have a priest like that but to approach every priest like that because saint faustina explains in her diary you know which if you haven't had a chance to check out her diary make sure you get one because it's it's so helpful to the spiritual life especially as it relates to god's mercy and there's so many sections in here on reconciliation but to approach your confessor with prayer and and with the with the understanding that you are approaching christ in the priesthood right and and to pray for your confessor before you before you go that's a good tip yeah ultimately he had to die right jesus had to die he had to rise from the dead like all of this would not make sense without it and then the gift of the holy spirit and the apostles and those whom he called a lot of them you know most of them are you know they're humans just like us but the fact that he can come to us in the eucharist through your hands in the hands of other priests and the fact that he can actually reach into our souls and clean us out right after this contrition how does that happen like i feel like the weight that i have from sin is completely lifted off of my soul i see things clearly i do things i don't normally do out of love for other people like i'm i'm able to love more because i'm not loving myself and committing sins you know like if if anything developing this relationship with christ is the fruit of his mercy but it's also like being present as him in the world like you know be you know being i don't know being a better christian or living a better christian life i think is where i'm going with that but um a lot of a lot of benefits that people just don't know about so you guys just talked about month senior morning and you just talked about saint faustina talking about how to you know pray for your confessor but i think that's a good thing that a lot of people have a question i was like how do i find the right confessor for me because there's a lot of priests around there's a lot of options and the reality is that different styles of of hearing confessions exist i mean there's great um confessors like you know john vianney and padre pio and there's other ones who are you know fulfilling the requirements of their priesthood and there's there is a difference so what are some tips on finding a confessor that's that's right for you you know that you could really open up yeah and i would and i would say um the right confessor is the confessor that has been sent to you so approaching the sacrament in in the reality of being in a geographical location and searching for a priest and times for confession doing that prayerfully and intentionally entering into the confessional that you enter into god is presenting the priest that you need you know but but to open yourself confidently to that relationship outside of that when it comes to the charism of of of ministry of counsel for example or other charismatic gifts related to priest confessors clearly you know when padre pio's reading your soul what a gift sure i'd love to have padre pio you know grill me you know and and like please you know but between saint faustina and padre pio i turn to them all the time in preparation of a good good confession so the way that i prepare is is first and foremost you know what you were sharing before de la crosse i first recognized the fact that my heart feels the effects of sin like i i feel it like i feel it in my heart i feel it in my soul and now i know that i need to go and this has come after 20 years of going to confession regularly every month at minimum so and it's also your journey of contrition too is developed and it has so if somebody's here is thinking about going to confession or going back to church like that's part of your your spiritual journey is pray for this contrition yeah it's very valuable and taking to the confession and and having phenomenal mystics that that had the charism of reading souls like a faustina like a padre pio you know what a gift to have them intercede for you so that you can make a good confession but approach your priest approach your confessor with the mindset that christ will indeed minister to your soul because he has been sent by god to do that now outside of that we have missionaries of mercy we could put the we could put the link in uh the show notes which gives you access to wherever a missionary of mercy is and you are a missionary mercy which is a priest given special faculty for confession because of their nature as mercy-filled priests it's the faculties of peter yeah you know so you have like a petrine faculty as a what's a papal faculty as a parish priest yeah okay this is the successor of saint peter you know the pope um i know i i share i share in in his ministry and faculties of mercy so you're deputized almost like that it's incredible the way that pope francis has established our order in the pontifical council for the new evangelization and he's granted us the status of of being in order practically you know and it is an order of and it is ordained by the pope himself so that the fullness of the faculties of his mercy is impacting the world on a daily basis so there are missionaries of mercy all around the world and uh if you click on this website that shields people yeah you know you'll you'll be able to find uh you know a local deal you just you just contact this this priest and say i want to go to confession you can if if there's a if there's a specific need that that you're really you're really carrying something that that deserves that faculty or that charism but i say that also in the light of the fact that you know you you have a priest with the faculties to celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation in your parents in your parish and that's where that's where you ought to go now i'll say i'll say something for some people a little bit more anonymity than seeing their parish priests is going to help them open up so a practical tip is for most people you're going to have multiple options in parishes within a reasonable driving distance i mean certainly within an hour you're going to have at least five churches in most areas and there are some churches out there that only provide confession for 15 minutes sure you know that's not that's not the type of church that you probably want to go to for confession you want to go to a place where you know they are there's a vibrant there's a vibrancy to the sacrament and there's an availability um but even if you're in a parish where you know they only a lot 15 minutes to be able to set up an appointment with your priest to be able to go to confession that's that's the route that you should go yeah i i would just say that there's there's some people who have a preference of sitting in person with a priest and really looking eye to eye and having a very personal um conversation to really let things out and that kind of face to face can really elicit that and then there's other people who look they can really let it all go when they're behind a screen and it's a priest they don't know and they can just kind of feel that freedom of not feeling judged by someone who might know that yeah there's a difference in people so kind of determine which one are you you know do you want to have someone who you trust and you know and can sit down face to face and be honest with or do you want to have someone a place where you can really just kind of have a a secret confession where you spill your secrets right with with without the fear of being recognized and that's a discernment that each person should make but i would say that's a very good uh bifurcation of maybe approaches or attitudes towards picking confessions i think the other thing too is like you were saying god send some sends you know confessors to you like in mine it was simple as my schedule right like it was that simple it's like every day this polish priest celebrates mass right after i drop my kids off from school and so once we pick the kids up from school it's like now you got basketball and all this other stuff so that's where i go and he's he's the one where you know he just sits behind the screen and and when going to him i'm like okay well you know he doesn't talk a lot back he doesn't know the language very well either um but i need to be more diligent in my contrition and my you know because i'm literally bringing that there and and you know sharing it with them i need to make sure i got all the right stuff because she's not gonna dig yeah dig in to get it out and the other thing too i'm thinking is this is not spiritual direction there is a very big difference between confession and spiritual reduction i don't know if i'm saying this because i'm angry at people for being in the confessional forever and i know that their sins are not even close to mine but you have to like you have to understand that you're going there to confess your sins you're not going there to get spiritual help if the priest feels like there's a need to to discuss that with you i'm sure they will but if it's a matter it is it's a great point and it's and you know there was a great irish priest who during a penance service one of our older irish brothers he's like now when you go to confession save us all the dirty details okay and he's like and he's like you don't have to go into a story for every single story the story doesn't matter the point is is that you have come to the confession with with a sense of contrition and you have conceded your will and you've sinned in this manner and you confess that right and opening up that opening up that space of the inner recesses of the heart that's where we want to go but you don't have to share the story around it how you got it there swivel kate or that too that's equivocation is that's that's borderline not having contrition yeah well you know you know i i punched toward in the face but he really is howard you got a beautiful beard yeah you punch him in the face and your hand gets stuck in his beard like a non-newtonian liquid powered poor powered no but i would say that's that's a good point of of of equivocating your sins in the confessional that you can you know you're telling the whole story and you're like nah man it's like you did it you you're not trying to explain it away that's one of the i think a big thing that people do in confession that um or at least i know that i have is that you're like well i did this but then immediately start getting defensive about it and you immediately start saying well why i did it he's like i don't care you did it right and i think if it's a matter of conscience to ask a priest during confession father i'm not sure if this is a sin that's okay that's good that's a good thing um but ultimately the end goal is for you to open up that place that is is affected by human sinfulness by your own sinfulness and being able to put words to it and naming these sins is how you manifest what is happening in your interior life so that you can step out of these things that are restricting your freedom to live as god has called you to live to live as you ought to live you know so that you can manifest and be set free from the bonds of these things i think saint francis de sales gives such great wisdom and in that respect intro to devout life if you want to read on confession i mean that's that is the most amazing book on confession so check that out and we should probably put a link to that go to your confessor open your heart to him display to him all the recesses of your soul again it's it's in that respect that you you want to open these places take the advice that he will give you with the utmost humility and simplicity for god who has an infinite love for obedience frequently renders profitable the councils we take from others but especially from those who are the guides of our souls namely your confessors so opening yourself in that dynamic god will most certainly even if you have a confessor that doesn't give counsel and that's okay you know it counsel is an option within the within the sacrament but even the experience of you know go in peace i absolve you from all of your sins the father the son and the holy spirit you know the the the right of absolution says a lot you know says a lot and thank god it's in the vernacular so that we can understand what's being said in in the words of absolution yeah um so i think in in preparation for making a good confession you said like you know father is this a sin you're not really sure um what are some ways that people can start to like look at an examination of conscience and really start to prepare themselves for this confession and say well did i do this and like oh yeah i guess i do those kinds of things like an examination of conscience i think is a very important part of making a good confession because you might look through maybe a structured one like one of the ones that i like is based on the ten commandments because all kind of sins can be categorized under those but going through that almost systematically and saying well yeah i am guilty of that well oh i did do that and you know what that reminds me i did this with that it's there's a structure to it that allows you to really recall what it is you've done so do you have any tips on that yeah and i would say what de la crosse is doing right now like he's pulling out his phone um on the show some people on the show think that he's pulling out his phone just to like check messages and stuff like that or nobody look up to me but but what he's doing right now is he's opening up the hallow app because active contribution i mean this is th these things are great i even pray a litany of st joseph with it um but yeah i mean like here you've got you know all sorts of ways to prepare for confession just in this app i mean obviously i use it mostly for prayer but uh before uh going to confession they have resources and they have what six thousand different resources in there five thousand five thousand uh so like you know to have resources like this at your fingertips everybody has a cell phone you know to be able to use an app like hallow is very very helpful to the spiritual life because they're gonna give you a substantive uh examination of conscience yeah so that you can be prepared hollow app which uh if you go to catholictalkshow.com forward slash hollow you can try this app out for free but they've got an examination examinations of conscience on here and multiple ones there's yeah there's a lot and you're gonna find one that really fits your approach to examination and some of the some of the examination of consciences out there based their approach on the ten commandments that's helpful yeah there's one in here based on the seven deadly sins on the hollow app there's one based on you know a uh just a a full examine right so there's a lot of great resources in holland and and saint francis de sales in that book they talk about a general confession i never knew about a general confession you can actually take a step back and look at your life in a decade or however long your journey's been and and realize the the places that you've gone where you know i look at like you know some of the stuff that i've done in business you know where i'm just like why did i think that that was a good idea and then i started looking at the reasons and the and that like those types of things because they're not really they're not really that sinful but but when you look back at your relationship and you see the lack of trust there because you're able to look back on it the general confession in that book is is amazing too as well so there's a lot of different i i would say types of confession too like approaches to that spiritual practice and i think general confessions fit in very well in the latter years of life not to say that you shouldn't do it as a young person i did it in college and it was phenomenal yeah um and it's not something that you want to do over and over and over again but it comes at a particular time in your life when when god is really calling you to something like that um but it's i see it all the time with people who are older they remember with great clarity sins that they committed back when they were in their youth and they're like father i don't think i ever confessed this well it's clear that the spirit as you're praying the spirit's moving you to recognize this so that you can you can bring that to jesus in his mercy and now would they have been absolved for that sin if they went to confession i mean i would state that they have been absolved i forgive you of all your sins right uh but still there's the need for openly stating it right because the words who can ever keep count of all of their sins whoever would be able to and if they if you had to take a full accounting of every one of your sins no one would ever receive a full absolution especially if the letter of saint james which i believe is absolutely the holy spirit you know it's in the bible but um you know the righteous man sins seven times a day well it's hard to be able to capture seven times seven times man i'm i'm super righteous i sin six point five times a day six point five super radges i'm i'm interested what's your half sin chef now listen my my uh grandfather ezekiel he told me this with his bare hands okay he take one of my sins breaking the nap saying now you are righteous you only have six and a half cents this is oh it's ridiculous um so yeah you know like we said hollow has a lot of great examinations of conscience now i particularly when i'm getting prepared to go to confession i like to be in the church and i like to sit in the you know the sanctuary and just be prayerful and then do the examination of conscience there i think it helps me now some people like to do it beforehand but i'd like to be right in the immediacy of i'm about to go in there i do the examination of conscience and these are really great guided ways to go about that now i i you know one that uh you mentioned before on the seven deadly sins for me a lot of my examinations earlier on my journey with christ was really based on the ten commandments but then they really started to develop more way at a greater depth when i started spending time with the seven deadly sins and then most recently getting into the eight evil thoughts of evagrius um between between that approach and where i am spiritually now i feel like i've i've unlocked a whole another level of the practice of of going to confession myself just as a penitent like how so because i'm kind of intrigued by that well i think it's just a different way to look at yourself a different structure too okay to look at your sins like the ten commandments i think is the most traditional look these are the ten commandments and how in each one of these have you offended this commandment and so many people say well yeah i i i didn't disobey my parents click i didn't lie i didn't murder anybody i didn't you know covet my neighbor's goods i don't even know what that means but i didn't do it and then it's like okay i went through all the ten commandments i really didn't send yeah okay so it's kind of like saying okay here are some ways that you can sin during these commandments but they don't really cover like the pathway into your soul well like i'll give i'll give an example here like in one of the examinations i do it's like the eighth commandment i'll just pick that one you shall not bear false witness against your neighbor okay well have i lied have i knowingly and willfully deceived another have i perjured myself under oath have i gossiped committed distraction which is destroying a person's reputation about you know telling others about his faults for no good like you know de la crosse nice guy but he's kind of a you know this or that right there's no reason to bring it up so that's that's detraction slander have i committed libel have i been guilty of rash judgment so it gives you all the different ways that this commandment can be broken through sentences all the way out of the way they it's good it's a good it's a good process and then i like that with those they would typically pair it with the precepts of the church have i went to mass have i went to confession have i prayed for the holy father have i uh received at least communion during the easter season so ten commandments in the precepts that's the most traditional examination of conscience but what he's saying is he's finding you know like the seven deadly sins but then the eight deadly thoughts of evagrius i think that's even a more internal i like that i'm gonna start trying that yeah and and i did a and and we could possibly link this to you but um my presentation at lent on the seven deadly sins um i i did that on we'll put that in the patreon yeah i did that for um preparation for lent we did it on uh the tuesday before ash wednesday which is um fat tuesday and we all got together and it was just like i didn't want to have a candlelight ceremony during lent where people are bringing food and beverages and drinks and you know it's kind of that setting so we had a a mardi gras celebration but i presented on the appetites of the seven deaf friends and i mean i i it was it was great though it was great i watched that it was really good it was so helpful for so many people who approached confession that week in the first week of lent and they recognized like wow these are the inroads to my soul like this is how demonic influences are are guiding me and and leading me to these different dispositions one thing that evagrius says is sadness is one of the eight evil thoughts and how many of us are succumbed to sadness on a regular basis well since well he's talking about a spiritual sense well that's what i mean so sin can absolutely create a sense of depth of sadness in the soul because you know god wants to fill us with joy and the fullness of life what prevents us from living the fullness of life is our human sinfulness and and backtracking that sadness and being able to discern around that sadness your eyes will be open to different sins in the holy spirit that you can recognize in the light so that you could bring out in confession so i i find where i am now personally in the discernment factor of preparing for a good confession um i'm seeing so much more fruits uh even in my pastoral care for people in the eight evil thoughts of evagrius and the seven deadly sins so what would you give as a as a good tip for somebody because you've heard a lot of confessions you know and you've heard a lot of different types of how people are opening up and confessing their prayers so what tip would you give for a penitent going into the confessional what tip would you give to them to just open up while they're in there what's something that you could recommend well you know i i i truly believe i'll just answer it in my own sense as a penitent some of the greatest experiences i've personally had going to confession is spending substantial amount of time praying to the holy spirit to open my mind and my heart and soul so that i could come to discern my sins thoroughly and then being able to journal those down and be able to get a sense of where my sin is i've also turned like i said before through the intercession of saint faustina and she opened my eyes to particular sins in my in my life that i never really considered sinful and when that happened i mean i remember weeping inc in that confession and the effect of that there was just so much freedom and the experience of being loved in an area that i was sad in um the the depth of catharsis is available but we we have to pray to the holy spirit i am a firm believer in praying to the spirit and turning to intercessory prayer um and and then also um having others that you can kind of journey through an examination of conscience with um so that you can kind of get a better understanding on where am i personally um and receiving counsel like you know like saint francis desales is saying receiving counsel on what is sinful is is also very very helpful and that could be done online there's so many resources out there that can help you come to a greater understanding but you want that to kind of drop from your brain into your gut and your heart so that you could recognize it and then and then you know pour it out let it go into the mercy of god's love for you and that is done most appropriately in the in the in the sacrament of reconciliation what would you say to somebody who comes into the confessional and and is repeating the same sin time and time again month after month i mean there's so many people who have kind of these uh neuropathies of sin and it's just you know that's their struggle the devil the devil entices people to such despondency in that like you know it's like you are hopeless that you're never going to be able to get over the sin that you continue to just stop going to confession and that's the devil's tactics for sure um but what i say is like look at your baptism you know the priest clothed you with a white garment and charged you to keep that garment clean you know you're going to go out as a kid in white or as an adult and you're going to get dirty the idea is you wash your clothes don't you like you you wash your baptismal garment by going to confession and if you fall in the same place and your knees get dirty because you're running around the playground you know just wash your knee area spend a little bit of extra time washing out the fabric and the and and the fibers within your within your cloth and just continue to maintain a discipline of cleansing you know one of the one of the priests from the apostolic penitentiary big shout out to don charlie um he heard my father's confession after 40 some odd years and and my dad tells a story to everybody but he's like you know he was trying to help him through confession and it was a perfect example because my dad like at the time took two three showers a day you know he's always clean and uh he's gotta look good you know um but he i bust my dad's job so i'm just looking at all the genetics yeah that's so so anyway like i was thinking the same thing he turned to him and he said um you know rich you know it's like taking a shower you haven't taken a shower in 45 years or whatever it was like 40 seconds you know it's like the discipline of taking a shower and being clean and fresh so fresh and so clean that's that's the idea behind it so don't don't be despondent if you continue to confess the same things right and then also again going back to what i was saying before is like contrition is in it there's an evolution of contrition where i would say in the beginning stages you're like well i just did this again and you know the devil's tricked you that time right but but after you know going through that and then then it does become like a shower and it doesn't become like this this moment in time where the skies open up and now you're all of a sudden good and you may have that once in a lifetime or or maybe a few times in life which is good you may have an experience of reconciliation like that but it is it is more of a a rinsing and i think i think a lot of our culture builds uh prides itself in being good at something or be doing well and and accomplishing your goals and and i think confession kind of just meets all that cultural significance out right it's like you're never going to reach your goal the goal is heaven that's a really good point it's a cultural thing that we put that allows the devil to you know sneak in there and say you know what what are you doing this for you're not getting better everybody else is getting better at stuff you're kind of stuck in this rut and so the idea is okay well you know what i tried the confession thing it really doesn't work i think their perception of confession is completely obliterated by all the cultural signals that are out there phenomenal yeah yeah because you know the the end result teleologically is the eternal gaze of the father and the beatific vision yeah like that that's not going to be accomplished on on earth and and the transformation that we experience in life in in my opinion and i'm definitely looking at this through the lens of of mercy as a missionary but like the only hope that we have in this life is to be exposed to god's mercy on a daily basis yeah as a sinner no and that's what transforms the outlook so you know if i just turn from the merciful father and i just go out into the world well i'm just going to be exchanging eye for eye tooth for tooth on a daily basis and i'm going to be exchanging sin for sin but you know possibly i can turn from the father for a moment and a glimpse in time where i could show mercy in this occasion because i've received it now how would you separate that because i i agree 100 with what you guys are saying about yeah it's like a shower you know you know you're gonna do it and you have to go and maintain it but how do you then separate that from maybe the uh the uh presumption of forgiveness which is a sin in and of itself like look i know i do this i'm gonna do it and just go to confession and then how do you how do you separate it from that where you just like i'm gonna do it and this is the remedy for it nutrition but is it contrition if you're saying look i'm just going to confess i'm going to do it now i know i can go to confession later i mean are you really looking to amend your life are you really you would go to confession if a lot of people do dude a lot of people say look i like watching porn i like smoking crack i like you know killing rabbits whatever it is you should do right killing rabbits smoking cracks smoking crack killing rabbits and watching porn i'm a weird dude right uh so they do stuff and they say look but i am a catholic and i'll just go to confession i'm just trying to put a caricature on this i'm like already in looney tunes right now he's got over he's got overalls look okay let's be serious this is elmer fudd all right um so i'm refunds like well how do you get you know he knows he's going to do this so if he keeps going back and doing the same thing i know that you stumble and fall and you have to go back to confession so i'm not encouraging to say that but i'm saying how do you make sure that when you are receiving absolution you really are making a firm resolution to sin no more right and now even if you stumble how do you separate that thought father rich i think it's i think it's hatred for sin you know like even even in my own even in my own case of repeated sins and offenses to god smoking crack killed rabbits yeah you know like i i just like rabbit stew yeah and mix that with a little bit of crack a little crack i mean that just makes it chef so bad bad examples but um but no like you know when it when it comes down to it what's grown within me is a hatred for sin and that's a that's a good thing to come to despise and hate the world in which we live it's it's it's not the created order that god has created that's beautiful it's worthy of love and to adore the the work of his hands like that's important but the fall and and our human sinfulness that's something that we we grow to disdain and you know that growth is the most important thing and it and and it deserves a resolve now presumption of god's mercy is one of the worst things that you could ever get sucked into it's like you're you're conceding your will knowing very well that it's flagrant this is yeah this is a flavor that's fun yeah right it's like a flavor and foul yeah you're like oh you didn't have to do that it's nearing it it's nearing like apostasy i mean like it's it's just blasphemy almost it is i mean it's a it's a really that's a serious sense it's a serious sin but you have to be a you have to be seriously twisted to to like and some people presume i think some people presume that they are presumptuous no well yeah i see what you say there i think some people presume this in a very innocent way because they don't really under it's again the journey of mercy the journey of contrition i'm way more mature at my contrition than i was you know when i first started practicing my faith you know it's not as drastic up and down it's it's more you know i would say a simple movement of my heart like it's not a drastic thing but the presumption i think with people i think it's easy to fall into but when it's deliberate when it's deliberate yeah like that's blasphemy that's just like that's a sin against the holy spirit yeah this is serious this is such a great quote and and uh sheila and i as you're saying that we're like we gotta the want of proper examination true contrition and a firm purpose of amendment is the cause of bad confessions and the ruin of souls so saint benedict joseph labrae so you know again then again yeah i gotta say the want of pride like if you don't have a proper examination true contrition which takes time it takes time you have to invest time to get to this place of contrition and understanding the effect of what your sin is doing and a firm purpose of amendment that's what i was getting through that firm purpose is a necessary part to a good confession if you don't have the amendment that you like this needs to be but again that's that's that hatred of sin you know and that's the cause of bad confessions when these things aren't there that's when a bad confession occurs and it is to the ruin of our souls and that's where presumption is just such a bad place to get into yeah because it can cause the ruin of the soul yeah i'm glad you brought that up uh ryan um you know one of the things thanks ryan well one of the things i was thinking about too is like just the failure the failure associated with you know being a disciple or you know and and so you've got like this firm amendment which i've experienced several times and and then i'm back in there again and i got another firm amendment but uh you know i see like pope john paul ii saint pump trump and how many how much he went to confession was like weak mind-boggling to me i was like he's he's going to confession like every four or five days you know and i'm thinking like well he he can't be doing new sins like i mean he's not he's kind of old and you know it's just not so he's got to be in there confessing i would guess half of them are the same sex yeah you don't smoke crack and kill rabbits your whole life and all of a sudden you know stop stop and then start burning down houses you like that crack rabbit stew all right oh goodness you know i i think this is a good point is um you know it's the amendment part there is some things that you can do to really start to take preventative maintenance right there's this is the washing there's some things you could do to prevent your stuff from getting dirty and that's that's prayer that's fasting that's uh fraternity with other people um you know having support having uh your penance having your spiritual direction spiritual reading we've talked about all these in an episode before and one other a great resource i'd recommend for for you know particularly for men is exodus 90. that's a great app to keep you on the straight and narrow especially to maintain your purity after confession and to make a full a firm resolution towards and to not be governed by your appetites right which are avenues of through the senses yeah avenues to sin yeah exodus 90 it's really based a lot on the two the wisdom of the desert fathers are like evagrius right they distract you from acknowledging your sin and amending them right i think there's so many distractions in the world you could just take take those things away those little comforts away you put it i mean i'm just thinking the phone like just the the way that they don't do social media or whatever they're fasting from it yeah yeah you're not doing that godly man like when i got rid of facebook man i my whole my life changed man i'm just like wow there's tick tock [Laughter] i'm yeah so go to catholictalkshow.com forward slash exodus 90. um and you can download this app and they've got a lot of great resources they have prayer they have structures for you to be able to you know do these types of things that are like i said their preventative maintenance to maintain your purity after a confession so we couldn't recommend them enough yeah they really help with amendment and and the discipline that it takes to live an amended life to god's will discipline great word that's that's really they've really set a culture into movement right now that is really helping tens of thousands of people that i you know i've i've met so many people that have been impacted by exodus 90 wherever i've gone in in my travels it's it's really inspiring you know so i guess you know as we close this episode out that's just some tips on making a good confession but i can't stress enough the most important aspect is a full openness and honesty and not holding anything back because god already knows your sin he already knows you're not hiding it from him by not confessing it and the priests don't they really don't they don't even i mean they're not going to bring that out it's okay that dude that was in confession today oh my god one of the best confessions i've ever had even if you want to get into a more regular confession schedule one of the best confessions i ever had was with a filipino priest who could not speak english while i was traveling for business in atlanta and i just laid it on him i'm like this dude doesn't know me i don't even know if he knows what i'm saying and i laid it out it was a great confession that might be something for you you know and then you can get into uh you know you're more to filipinopriest.com yeah we should get that out dude all right but um you know really being fully open and honest with your confession is the number one tip you know and and the other things are structures to help you get to that that that real honesty you know getting washing the lord's feet with your tears that's that's where you want to be with confession and that's that's what i want to leave with everybody with uh is really the words of saint ambrose on tears we started with mary magdalene and we have one of the great fathers of the church explaining to us that tears are important and and god wants to get into that place of the depth of our soul and for us to go through the tears of repentance so saint ambrose says of the two conversions that in the church are there are water and tears conversion the water of baptism and the tears of repentance and the tears of repentance come subsequent to our baptism and to realize that we have the opportunity to be washed in those tears of repentance and to pour them out on the feet of jesus just like mary magdalene did now i want to remind everyone if you want to become a supporter of the show you go to catholictalkshow.com patreon we uh you got a lot of great benefits for that a lot of cool gear you get access to hangouts virtually in-person hangouts if i can maybe i'll post my recipe for crack rabbit stew on there there's a lot of good not a great benefit so go to catheter.com for slash patreon to help support the show and then also just a shout out again to exodus 90 and hollow our sponsors go to hollow.com forward slash the catholic talk show or exodus 90.com forward slash to catholic talk show to try those out yeah we really appreciate their partnership exodus 90 and hello and we really appreciate all of our subscribers and our patrons out there thank you to each and every single one break don't do it it's a bad idea and if you do go to confession and we'll see you in the mercy of god god bless we'll see you next week [Music] you

Channel: The Catholic Talk Show

Views: 112,246

Keywords: Catholic, Catholic Podcast, Catholic Talk Show, Ryan Scheel, Ryan DellaCrosse, Father Rich Pagano, Catholic Radio, Catholic TV, Catholic Show, Matt Fradd, Mike Schmitz, Robert Barron, Catholic Answers, Catholic Stuff You Should Know, Bishop Barron, Breaking In The Habit, Confession, Reconciliation, Examination of Conscience

Id: 8A6DSEJ0V3g

Length: 52min 25sec (3145 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 18 2022