How to Know If It's Time to Break Up | Relationship Theory

she deserves and she needs to believe that she deserves more period and you need to be with somebody that makes you feel like that period hey everybody welcome to another episode of relationship theory i'm your co-host tom bilyeu and i am here with my deeply fatigued albeit still amazingly gorgeous wife elizabeth what's up homie let's get right in all right first question this is from erica i have a boyfriend i really love and admire but he feels disconnected with everything the relationship and his projects we live in different cities and he says he doesn't know if he wants to see me again we have been together for two years i travel every two to three months to visit him and he says he doesn't know why he should be in a relationship he says he is surrounded by failed relationships and he compares me with his mom and what she went through with his dad until they got divorced he says he doesn't know if he is someone good to have a relationship with because for him there are two parts one the path of greatness to the path of family i don't know if i should end the relationship or give him space wow so yeah this is where i earned my reputation for being the cold-hearted bastard like i i don't personally understand when a relationship seems to have very little that it's giving and a whole lot that it's taking i don't understand um acting as if the relationship in and of itself is a sacred thing that has to be protected so there's no mention of kids here which definitely would complicate the issue they're not even married if he's saying i don't even know if i want to be with you i don't know if i want to be in a relationship if i'm good to be in a relationship like there is so much work that needs to be done for certainly for him to find the stability and all of that and is this all just a guy's for he's just not that into you and otherwise he is fine and he just doesn't know how to communicate that or is he really that dysfunctional where he thinks so little of himself that he doesn't even know if he should be in a relationship this relationship to me sounds like it has just an extreme level of dysfunction i mean dysfunction in the sense that it is not functioning in a way that i would say is worth the sacrifices of being in a relationship it's not making them each feel better about themselves it's not lifting each other up they're not working together on common goals like it just there are things that make a relationship thrive and the easiest way to say it is do you feel like you're their number one do you feel better about yourself when you're around them like once those things stop being true then it's like well if you guys like she's not sure if she should give him space or work with him he's not sure if he should even be in a relationship he's not sure if he wants to be on what he calls the path of greatness or the path of family which to me they are not mutually exclusive they definitely are trade-offs there's no question there's very much reason i did not have a traditional family but for me like our marriage is the highest priority and it's worth those sacrifices and it's worth it in the times where i say doing this would be good for business like literally just today there was an awesome opportunity that came up and jun didn't even get the words out of her mouth and i was like she said you've been invited to dinner no i was like absolutely not and she was and i said you know tell me what the dinner is and it was like actually good and it's one of those from a business perspective i should go to you need to talk to me about that because you didn't say you said no because so we can spend time together i said no out of a selfish desire to spend time with my wife so that's and and because my response is like depends what dinner it was right and look there is a threshold where it's like hey steven spielberg called he wants you to come cool i'll be there um but it's it is a comically high bar right now and when people don't have that when the relationship does not seem worth that sacrifice that's okay and i think where i disconnect with people is i don't feel people have a moral obligation to be in a relationship i don't think that a dysfunctional relationship makes your life better than being alone and i think when people are afraid to be alone that is something that has to be faced and so when being alone is a beautiful experience and being in a relationship is just a more beautiful experience than being a relationship and yes i get it there's ups and downs and it's work and all that and but i think part of that is beautiful and like like i said earlier the building lives together like it's beautiful and it's worth every ounce of the up and down but when it's like just down then i'm not sure what people are fighting so hard for i would say reset focus on yourself get into doing the self-development work that will be tremendously rewarding and then approach another relationship or even this one again once you've both done the work to come back together but just staying in a relationship that that isn't feeding you emotionally i don't understand yeah i'm gonna pick up my mic a bit here hopefully don't deafen people because i want to say this but i want to get really close erica you're worth more honey like i really mean it like for someone to say they don't know if they want to see me again and they don't know if i want to be in any relationship and that i just remind them of their mum like erica you're worth more period like it actually breaks my heart actually getting a little emotional right now because she feels like she has to cling on to this guy and i get it like there's some she may love him and all of that but like man you you should be with somebody that's making you feel amazing you deserve to be with somebody that's telling you how special you are and yes there are going to be relationships of course it's not always going to be like that so i'm never saying like me and you have the perfect relationship you always make me feel special at all times but of course you make me feel special of course you make me feel wanted that's why i want to be in this relationship and when someone is deliberately not thinking about you and not caring about how they're going to make you feel like that isn't a relationship to me and i'm like kind of getting hard now on this answer yeah yeah but i really mean it like she deserves and she needs to believe that she deserves more period and you need to be with somebody that makes you feel like that period and that's all i have to say on the matter word i felt very strongly about that one i like that and yeah i mean do the work on thyself do the work on thyself because i think you're right part of this is she's not sure what her value is which means she needs to do the work you

Channel: Relationship Theory

Views: 34,986

Keywords: Relationship Theory, Tom Bilyeu, Lisa Bilyeu, relationships, couples, marriage, engaged, dating, relationship advice, advice, self worth, you are worth more, deserve more, deserving more, knowing your worth, breaking up, moving on, letting go, dysfunctional relationship, disfunction in a relationship, what you deserve, you’re worth more, feeling worthy, feeling worthy in a relationship

Id: D7VkGW6rmRA

Length: 7min 1sec (421 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 28 2020