How to Give and Receive Blessings

good abba-baba-baba okay hello everyone Simon Jacobson here and we're gonna be speaking about how to give and receive blessings this is based on many questions that I've received over the years since you asked the question I began this class in 1982 long before technology existed and we just had face-to-face heart-to-heart conversations people from all walks of life and over the years thank God it's grown and with technology we've been able to reach many more people obviously so people can be in the comfort of their own little environment and be part of this class so based on many different questions that come in either by email or in person so one big question a lot of people talk about it blessings and everybody wants to have a blessed life and and there's nobody that is going to shy away from someone says I'd like to offer you a blessing most of us would say yes I'd love to have a blessing and blessings are a part of living a balanced and healthy life with his blessings for health for many for a long healthy years with his blessings of livelihood blessings and having healthy families and blessings and really being able to live up to the mission and calling for which we were sent to this world these are all blessings and their many many more you look in the Torah Judaism blessing is a major statement you have right away the big statement that says that God says it's Abraham those that will bless you shall be blessed I will bless those that bless you which is of course a beautiful statement that when you bless somebody you also get blessed in return you know in this very selfish and often narcissistic world where the dog eats dog survival of the fittest we all need the blessings we all need to be kind and compassionate to each other but the word is used a lot and many people have what exactly is a blessing what does it mean and there's a blessing something was just a matter of grace that comes from heaven a gift or can we do things to initiate and actually actively draw blessings into our lives and of course god forbid the other side can we do things that black blessing from entering our lives so we really have to understand what is this thing called a blessing what is a blessing and Hebrew the word blessing is braja we'll be analysing that in a few moments so that's part of the questions which of course also includes issues like the the gifts that some people are blessed with in this world sometimes seem random sometimes we they say the wicked people prospered because prosper good people suffer and of course it all touches upon that so that's that's the theme of this discussion and of course with the goal of us coming away with actual tools and skills to be able to bring more blessings into our lives and as you'll see when you really dissect the anatomy called the secret anatomy of a blessing it's quite surprising to understand what it really is a blessing and how we can actually use it as a as I said a tool in our lives so I mentioned the word blessing comes from word bracha in hebrew Braco the Hebrew languages I've often discussed is a language that is a more of a metaphorical language as opposed to latin language like english which is a descriptive language in hebrew every word has multiple meanings and actually when you know hebrew you can in hebrew one sentence sometimes needs a paragraph in english and two paragraphs in french because it's language is very concise and very metaphorical I'm very very content rich words mean things so what does the word bracha blessing really mean when we say blessing we mean its own bless of somebody someone has blessed in their life but actually the word blessing in hebrew illuminates a very unique element to what the real blessing means the word blessing comes from one of the expressions is in the talmud and the good morning the talmud is especially maverick as I gave him the world maverick in that context and the word bracha means to actually graft the Americans the effort given refers to a vine and sometimes if you're a gardener you're dealing with let's say vines why wine wine or the chrome wine wineries and vines so often to take care of the vines you need to redirect a vine that may be growing in the wrong way sometimes you may need to grab something basically it's redirecting redirecting and channeling and sometimes grafting that vine for it to grow properly to be able to produce healthy and rich grapes in that context what is that to do with a blessing so that tells us that a blessing is about redirecting a blessing is about directing about channeling that may be the best word channeling channeling something so we all know that let's take an irrigation for example if water is running you want to make a irrigate a field you need to channel it to that field you have to redirect it we also know in our own lives psychologically and emotionally for example person has a stroke sometimes the the body has its own capacity to heal and it will create new pathways and the same thing is with it with in other parts of the body it will reach channel or redirect so in that context blessing is about really a proper channeling of a particular flow of energy that's how it's really understood in a deeper meaning and of course the mystics and the catalysts elaborate on this and I'm gonna explain it in this context let's go to the stories in the Bible you find sometimes expression of a blessing and sometimes you have a prayer what someone prays for you or so and blesses you and we have in Judaism you have prayers we say prayers and we ask for things in our prayers we ask for livelihood we ask for health we ask for peace we asked for many different blessings for many many we request many that doesn't that's prayers but then there's also thing a blessing we say please bless us or someone blesses you with the blessing of the priests the priestly blessing that we do on holidays in Israel they do every day another thing what's the routine a blessing and a prayer so there's an interesting episode in the book of Genesis that can illuminate this and will teach us what it means to channel and here's the story the story is that Jacob and the end of the book of Genesis before he passes away so he called his son Joseph over and he says bring your children and John was actually Joseph's initiate Joseph says I want to bring my two children and I'd like you to bless them before you pass on and he brings the children one of his name Manasseh and one was named a fry him two sons and Manasseh was the older one so he put marsha to the right side of Jacob the right side is always considered to be the priority and the number one and then he put his Ephraim on the left side so ever the two children standing before Jacob Jacob as he began to get ready to bless them Jacob crossed his hands and put his right hand on the hand of a frame of the younger son and his left hand on the hand of Manasseh and and Jacob and Joseph was obviously bothered by that because the reason he put his on his firstborn there was because he wanted the right hand and here Jacob was crossing it and basically Jacob said I will bless them accordingly so the question is why couldn't he's gonna bless them why couldn't he give the blessing to the firstborn the one that the first one deserves why did he have to cross his hands why didn't he just give the blessing to the firstborn so the answer is given is because a blessing does not have the power to accomplish something entirely new the destiny of Menasha of the older one was a certain destiny and Afram is another one a blessing is a channeler it's not a creator it channels energy it does not create energy that's what a prayer does a prayer does even if the destiny of somebody let's say God forbid somebody's not well in the hospital and you say a prayer for them the prayer is able to invoke a new destiny for them it can change the course of their destiny a blessing does not change the course of blessing a blessing channels energy so something that may be blocked that is destined for you a blessing will open up the channel like I said my Marvel channel it opened up the channel and direct it into your life so a blessing is really the equivalent of someone for example it say you have a musical talent or your athletic talent or whatever talent what's a good educator do they don't create your talent they help you access it and they help you actualize it in your life that's what someone does they don't create creating something new has certain accomplish a certain call a certain virtue but it does not really give you something that is the same thing we all are born with much potential we'll never even know how much potential human being has we have potential in so many different areas often is by accident or by trial and error that we learn that we're really good at something question is how much more potential do you have within you that's what a blessing does a blessing is when someone says you have a blessed life my blessing is to help you access something that's lying dormant within your spirit within your psyche which of course in the healing process and especially a psychological type of growth and work well from what you really want to do is achieve is not just help people and give them something new you want them to be able to access deeper strength so they can maintain and have sustainability in whatever it is that they're dealing with if you think about it remember I was once speaking to a doctor so doctors they were humble doctors they're arrogant doctors this doctor happened to be a very humble doctor is a great doctor oh very well known doctor in the area of infertility and he said to me something which struck me and he's well known and he's successful and he has a lot of a lot of many successes under his belt and he could be very proud of and he said to me you know something and we were dealing with we were talking about a certain a certain situation that was very complicated and I said what do you think does this person have a chance of having a child he says I don't know to God he wasn't even Jewish and he says it's up to God as I said and what's your role in the case he says my role like well our role is to help facilitate the process that the natural healing and the natural fertility that a person has can be accessed he says remember we don't heal people the healing human body heals itself however sometimes there are infections impediments deficiencies that need to be overcome to allow the healing to take hold so if there's an infection that's too strong you may need to have antibiotics or some other way to minimize it's it's the the the the inflammation or other things that is causing but healing he says the body but a natural body heals you get a scratch it's going to heal you don't need a doctor to make it heal however if it gets infected or anything else you need to protect it you need to facilitate it and I thought about it because it's exactly what the Mystics and the Torah explains about a blessing I told us them I said that's what a blessing is you go to someone for a blessing a blessing means they're not giving anything new they're helping facilitate to get rid of impediments or blocks that may not allow this blessing to manifest in your life I deal with this all the time people come for advice let's say in areas of most popular areas relationships relationships someone's dating and they just can't find the right person can't make the commitment so of course you go through all the usual suspects of like what the causes may be fear of commitment your own maybe traumas and your own childhood may be a bad marriage your parents experiencing divorce I mean there's a lot of reasons that people may have resistance to having long term and sustainable healthy relationships but what you're really working toward to doing is not creating something new for this person you want to help them access within them the natural inclination is to find the right partner in your life the right soul mate and build a family with them everybody wants that so why can't we just as easily its human because our skills or our tools may be flawed not because we're not capable but like like go ahead good so one has not learned how to swim even though they're capable of swimming they need to be trained and many people are simply missing not and people make a mistake they think they're missing the fundamental piece they're not listen to them and they're missing the training they don't know how to deal with it I was just dealing unfortunately to deal with this conflict management straight you know domestic conflict management husband-and-wife and not getting along and and sometimes it gets to a point of so much acrimony is so much bad blood it's very hard to reconcile what you really want to do is try to sorry I said to them so let me ask you did you ever love each other absolutely can you describe what it was like and nothing of that is left maybe it's love but I don't know how to access it and I saw with my own eyes how both of them don't have the tool they know they're fine when things are calm they can handle things soon as there's a crisis they don't know how to handle crisis one person becomes very silent and withdraw withdrawn retreats the other one becomes very aggressive and very angry and they just don't know how to deal with within emotion so when you explore it you start realizing okay their parents didn't know how to deal with the problem so they don't either so it's not that they don't have the capacity they just do never taught how it's like someone trying to eat a piece of steak without a knife and a fork you're not gonna manage that easily so we have much more potential in capacity than we think we have so a blessing really in that sense is realigning yourself and finding the tools and skills to be able to access and chat ditch and channel those potentials in your actual life that's what a blessing is and that's what Jacob was doing Jacob was not gonna give Menasha anything new our frame he was helping them access and facilitate the process of what they really deserve in their lives now prayer is another story a prayer is where you come and say listen I've done everything possible and it may not be even my reservoir in my reach I don't even have that resource so a prayer can actually give a person a new resource a new tool and I shouldn't say tool because that's confusing with what I said a new capacity to do something that would be like you have stories for example someone who helped another person they they were given the ability to achieve something very new that they would never have been able to achieve on their own this happens in life as well but that's not a blessing that's already a prayer that's like an literally like opening up something a new door has opened whereas a blessing is the doors are there the resources are there and we're just channeling which is really that this is what I said before about grafting or channeling or redirecting or realigning now a tremendous point because when you think about it in that sense a blessing is really a skill that is able to help us find access things that we ourselves are may not be aware of you know it's one thing when a person says listen the situation is hopeless I don't know if I have the ability to achieve something but let's say you have confidence that you have the ability but you just don't know how to do it yet it's a very different type of attitude you know you see this all the time you see people who have the confidence even though they have not yet achieved success but they have the confidence that they will achieve a success there was a custom in the olden days where people when we're armies went to war even before they went to battle they would sing a song a victory song you see this all the time you see when that's a team team's got to play each other was it's a football team or a baseball team they there's they cheer each other on why because you need to have that energy that infusion of confidence you could be extremely skilled but if you don't have the confidence you see this all the time very very brilliant players or brilliant musicians or brilliant in any given area and then they suddenly lose something now they have not lost talent they've lost belief in themselves exactly the same talent sometimes that psychological block is far far harder to deal with than actual injury that's why you'll find many people get injured once the injury is healed they still have a certain tentativeness they don't want to get hurt again or they sometimes lose that total confidence this is where blessings come in a blessing is the ability when we bless somebody to help them get beyond those psychological blocks and that's why going back to the story with a bruh and he said I will bless those that bless you you think about you know that is that saying essentially that when we bless somebody we open up the channels of blessing to ourselves there's another expression from the Talmud a very interesting expression which is a tremendous tool as well in healing it says someone who has a problem prays for someone else with that problem you will get answered first in other words if you pray for somebody and say listen I know the word pray are there but you could just apply the same thing to blessing you bless somebody that needs a blessing let's say to find a good job or a blessing to find to have healthy children so the Talmud says that you it reciprocates a boomerang effect that you get blessed with the thing that you pray and bless someone else why is that the case so there's a thing called mirror neurons which has become the last few last while has been a a as a real study mirror neuron what a mirror neurons then in some way we mirror reactions and feelings of another person it relates to empathy thank you the classic as an example they give is that sometimes you see that say somebody's about to close the door on their fingers and they don't see it happening and you stand there and you could literally cringe as if it's happening to you because in some way your mind is seeing it and you are able to mirror the feeling real empathy is a form of a mirror neuron that you can actually feel the pain of another so in the kabbalistic texts and literature talks about this in the context that we are all really part of one larger organism based on a Talmudic statement that think of a body is it conceivable over the left hand of your body so does something wrong your right hand is gonna hit it of course not it won't strike it because it's part of one body if we all saw all seven billion people on this earth so it themselves as different components of limbs of one large organism we would have complete peace and love for each other because we see we're all connected so how can people behave cruelly and injustice from one person to another is because we don't feel it you know modern physics there's a lot talk about the integral unity of all of existence of all cells of all microscopic micro subatomic particles there's an integral unity to nature to all of the world the same is with humans but we don't feel or sense that into that unity when in fact the fact is when one person hurts everybody hurts when one person celebrates everybody celebrates but because of and I'll explain this in the Kabbalistic Sun because God concealed that unity from us we live in a world where we can see ourselves as fragmented pieces even though we're indeed actually parts of one big picture I guess be ready and an illustration for this musical notes on musical notes so a great composer composes a beautiful composition of music there's hundreds and hundreds of notes someone who knows how to play the notes in the right order the right tempo and the Wrights beat and everything beautiful music let's say for a moment some plays the results in a very disjointed way or basically misses bunch of notes what is it gonna sound like it's gonna sound ridiculous it's gonna sound horrible so all those musical notes are different pieces of one larger symphony the same thing is with human beings each one of us has a unique role a unique object a unique mission that's indispensable you're a musical note nobody can play the music that you will play there's like a fundamental principle in Jewish thought it's really a universal statement and it's really the essence of all psychological health because if you don't think you matter if you think you're dispensable or negligible and everything you do also become somewhat negligible so here's the fundamental prince of you are a piece of the divine creator the Creator the divine image and you have music to play that you and only you can play that music Oliver Wendell Holmes in his classic poem called the voiceless makes this this devastating line when he says alas to those who die with their song still inside them we all have a song inside us more than one song and your song nobody can sing your song no one can play your music at the same time we're all musical notes in larger composition so if we really had a sense of that then we all see that we're both indispensable what you you comes your to your role you must play your role at the same time you need others and they need you we all intertwined in one in one interconnected universe what happens if we don't realize that that's what the Kabbalists caller of the Isaac Luria calls the doctrine of the symptom the concealment think of it like a darkness that descends that doesn't allow you to see the integral connection between things viewed they're suddenly shut the lights in this room right now it was pitch dark pitch black what would happen nothing changed in the room the chairs are still here the tables are here the people are here everything else is here the only difference is you can't see it so you can bump into a chair god forbid you can hurt yourself you can use objects now for with their purpose because you're dark so what is light really do light does not change any object light simply illuminates and lets you see clearly what's what this is how the Mystics explain existence our existence is a dark state as the Bible says right at the beginning darkness company had to harm darkness developed in all of existence what does darkness mean doesn't mean that's a physical darkness it means a spiritual darkness that we don't see clearly what's good for us what's not good for us you walk down a path is this a go right should I go left someone offers you something is this healthy for me or they're not relationships am i doing it the right way it's all uphill battle because we're trying to find a clarity and illumination in the dark world and that first darkness does not allow us to see the integral connection between each other and that's where all impediments begin that's on a macrocosmic level it's going to microcon yourself as I said before we have within us we have a psyche we have a soul a spirit that has tremendous amount of potential a child comes appears in this world a new child a newborn child what is this child capable of we have no clue the child has a mind has a heart has faculties now the child begins to grow we hopefully the child gets a good education a good upbringing there's their skills are cultivated nurtured like a garden the flowers begin to grow and hopefully if it's garden properly by the right gardeners by the parents and educators flowers will grow weeds will be uprooted and you'll have a beautiful garden but we all know it's not that simple life is a hostile world people get hurt innocent people get hurt children get hurt they get disappointed they experience duplicity they're people who take advantage abuse trauma all kinds of things what is it technically what's actually happening when those forces come into play they are bringing down a cloud of darkness and a person's psyche to the point that you become unclear to what you really capable of and it like remains undercover so here you are living your life on a survival level on the outside on an external level with very little knowledge of what you really are able capable of and very many people especially if they grow up in an environment in a home that's invalidating and and even more so abusive what does that do it does it's creates that the child loses confidence constantly second-guesses himself or herself and does not believe in themselves that doesn't mean they're not capable that would mean basically essentially they're losing a psychological war which is they don't believe in themselves so essentially this darkness is what creates all human misery the misery of not knowing who you are the misery of not knowing that you're capable of dealing with challenges that you may think you're not capable of dealing and the misery of not being able to access your real strengths you can go on with your life and the song will never be sunk and here enter come the concept of a blessing when we bless each other when I come and bless you and you bless me what we're saying is I believe in you I believe in your capacity and the blessing I give you is that to reveal the hidden to shine a light and channel your resources in ways that you can actualize not just in a state of potential that's what a good friend does that's what a good mentor does that's what a good coach does they help you build the confidence and they help you see clearly the strengths you truly have I mean they're a greater gift than that so it's clear as clear as day and everybody can realize you have much more strength than you then you know you have but two things are possible either you don't know you have them well you're not confident in yourself you can do anything with them and that's often due to the environment around us that invalidates that challenges that's skeptical that puts you down you get beat up enough times at some point it affects you you know a boxer in the ring knocked down enough times you know you start losing your willpower and you start feeling weaker but a friend blesses you and says here's a blessing my blessing to you is general sense a blessing is opens up these channels and builds the confidence that you can access it you're really capable of something here and that's why when we bless somebody like in the case where God says to Abraham I bless those that will bless you because if they open up your channels I will open up their channels because that's how it works when you're kind to somebody you become a kind of person you're not just helping them you're helping yourself you're exercising the muscle called kindness obviously kindness has an element to it I have compassion someone who's needy I'm there for them that's one half of the story the bigger part of the story is that your kindness is you are helping yourself because you're exercising your actualizing your capacity to love ask anyone that truly loves in a healthy way they will always say my love that I give is gives me more than when I give to others what I receive is far greater than what I give now of course selfish love and unhealthy love has other manifestations that's what it comes down to there's an expression in the medicine says that when someone gives a poor person charity it says more than what the owner gives the pauper the Pope who gives honor another expression would be like teacher the teacher that said where did you learn so much he says I learned much from my teachers I learned even more from my colleagues available but I learned most Natal me died for my students Jason McCullough I learned more than all you could ask yourself a question one second my teachers are smarter than I am so of course I learned from them my colleagues are not as smart as my teachers have more peers but my students they know less than me how could they teach me but ask any teacher ask any writer ask any communicator then when you have to teach you forces you have to force yourself to dig deeper so when your blessing another person with teaching is blessing you return because it's causing you to open up channels you never would have opened so blessings are essentially a circular flow that create channels that open channels for everybody that's really what it comes down to and that's why the idea I read a lot about gratitude how gratitude is such a good tool in in psychological welfare a person is healthy psychological where for gratitude because when you thank people it just brings out something in you that makes you a healthier person they think why why would grata to do that because gratitude is the same like with a blessing you are opening up it's like a breathing circle when we are selfish people when we allow ourselves to succumb to the darkness that separates us instead of the blessing that unites us you know what happens it's exactly what happens when an infection begins to fester inside your body got for a bit weird to infections thrive in closed spaces they can't breathe there's no fresh air so then in the dark place look at look at maggots look at the Z's with it where does it thrive it thrives when there's nothing fresh you know decaying decaying bodies water that is toxic anything that just sits there and doesn't have any fresh water running in or fresh air is prone to toxic to toxins so the whole idea of health is really opening up the door opening up a window opening up fresh air creating something new look in human beings if you continue doing your patterns day by day every day meet the same people listen to the same bad news and never ever change your routines what do you think happens it becomes a rut and that rug becomes like a broken records it continues to go again and again it creates a monotony and you get you dig deeper and deeper into the point it's very hard to break out of one of the best solutions is bring fresh air in meet a new friend start a new class read a new book travel somewhere shift things shake things up so that's exactly the same idea the world can extremely become extremely narcissistic and selfish and then what happens is all problems begin when you are a loner and don't have any interconnections there's nothing in nature and nothing in the human body that's not networked every part of nature is network with other parts of nature there's nothing that's a self-contained entity on this earth and nothing can survive being a self-contained entity you cut something off from other things every predator has its prey every prey is a predator of others there's a certain cycle that's continuously needing it needed it's the mineral world of the vegetable world of the animal world an ecosystem and then our body the same is true if one part of the body decides to break away and say I'm becoming independent not only it's will be not only the rest of the body will compromise it will be compromised there's something about a United flow floo a but i said before a channeling flow that allows things to breathe allow things to interact with each other so this is sure across the board and a blessing captures that idea the idea of am blessing another person we have the concept of blessing children for example some do it Friday night some do before Yom Kippur some do it every day but Chloe's blessings are always a great thing to do it's essentially going out of your own self to be there for another to extend something to bless them to open up a channel in them as I said that mayor inish name of I it says when you illuminate someone else's life illumination comes back to you so in that sense blessing is a gift it's a really a gift something that is underappreciated and underestimated its power it simply means that any given day today tonight tomorrow go over to somebody that you may have a co-worker a friend a family member someone you may have not spoken to in a while you say you know I want to send extense you a blessing that that your life should go better you know you have any aggravation to get over it you need more income more income a little more health there's something powerful when you do that you open up a door the true door that connects us all that's what blessings are about their channel openers that's what they are and who doesn't need an opening we all want openings we all want openings a sherbet filter said to Sasha that the the measure says which means when you give somebody you tithe and you give them charity you become a wealthier person physically and also spiritually and also emotionally if you think about emotions you see this very clearly emotions can't function in a vacuum you know love is with another person love compassion empathy any type of emotional experience is going to be with another person so it's like a dance and what it's doing is its counteracting the forces that I mentioned before the dark forces that separate us the forces that do not allow us to see these channels there's no greater gift that you can tell somebody is to be able to say can access the strengths that I have internally because then you can overcome any challenge now God knows we all have our challenges in life but the difference between one person and other is not the challenges is whether you are able to access and feel confident that you can access tools to navigate that's the gig biggest gift is that know how to navigate to know how to navigate good swimmers don't just swim all the time good swimmers know when to swim want to stop when there's a great storm or there's the tide going against them they don't fight it they let themselves float with it they let the energy carry them that's what a good swimmer is a navigator knowing how to navigate the vicissitudes of life and of course because we are subjective people and we can't always see clearly that's why it makes it so difficult for us to really be able to do this that's why we need someone else to bless us we need someone else to advise to guide and to help us along the way now when I add another component to this whole thing which is connected to this week's Torah portion which actually talks about blessings but they're not regular blessings this chapter in the Book of Numbers 7th chapter in the book of numbers called Bullock so Bullock was a king of the moyu F mob which was a country that bordered on Israel and Israelis the Jews were coming back after their long exile in Egypt they were marching back 40 years to the Promised Land bollocks wasn't marching and he became frightened of them because he knew he had heard what had happened and he was afraid they would overrun his country and basically take could take or take power take away his power so he commissioned a prophet a prophet by the name of Balaam Balaam a true prophet but the one prophet however a prophet of the other side a prophet of darkness and this prophet he asked him he said I want you to curse these Jewish people so Balaam sets out a long story short I'm not going to tell all the details I discussed this in previous years he sets out his way on his way and the story is told how an angel of God comes and does not let him go travel basically your prophet of gods how could you curse the people that God does not want to curse and that's what Balaam tells but look as much as I'd love to curse them and as much as a little to take your money and your commission of doing this but I cannot say something that is not going to be put into my that's not in the mouth of God is not put into my mouth because that's what my power is you're asking me of curse that's just a cursory human you want me to invoke my powers I cannot say something then God does not allow me to say so Bullock agrees tells us he put tells him to bring offerings and bilham opens his mouth and to his chagrin bullocks and even to bilham chagrin instead of curses come out blessings some of the most beautiful blessings ever stated in history and some of them actually we see every day in the prayers if I might over ilaha Yaakov look how good and beautiful are the tents of Jacob Michigan sfe is wrong and the dwellings of Israel and he goes on to and so but Bullock system what are you doing I asked you to curse them your blessing them he says I told you I cannot utter a word that God doesn't put in my mouth that's the words God put into my mouth so let's try a second time and but look again brings different offerings and Balaam opens his mouth and this time not only blessings even better blessings even greater blessings and they try a third time and even greater blessings to the point blessings that talk about the Messianic age the future of the universe most beautiful as I said eloquent blessings at this point of course bill occurs in Bullock is enraged even bilham is not happy but what could he do that's what God wants him to say but the interesting thing is at the end of the story it's not a happy ending bilham says the Bullock look I'm paraphrasing I can't curse these people if God doesn't want to curse them they're being protected by God and since God wants to bless them I'd to bless them if you want to destroy them we can't do it we have to get them to destroy themselves he says send the beautiful Midianite women to seduce them and once they transgress and show how they defy God they will hurt and destroy themselves that's bilham's brilliant advice it wasn't a prophecy but prophecy forget about they were protected God was not going to let him curse who's gonna need to only let him bless them but everyone has free will and but Balaam gave advice was get them to hurt themselves we cannot hurt them and that's what happens now how does this play into our lives and a lesson as I always discuss what difference does this make to us this happened thousands of years ago in this type of miraculous event about Balaam and Bullock but it has tremendous lessons and continuing where I left off with blessings but first one big question here besides what's the meaning of this story what's going on if God wants to bless the Jewish people just bless them why does it have to come in this like weird strange way that first bilham wants to curse them instead of curses coming out of his mouth blessings come out of his mouth what's what is this and why didn't bill them give that advice in the beginning while he waits after three sets a blessing great blessings which remain with us forever so this gets into a deeper discussion of what I said earlier remember there's two states of consciousness one is when we are blind and dark and dark in the dark now we a person who does not know how what to do with their lives person they say I'm in the dark I have no direction I have no clue what I should be doing I don't know where I should be passionate about and the psychological level a person was lost they're lost they don't feel the ability to really forge ahead and set their mind to something and grow that's a state well call that shrouded consciousness that's like the state of darkness that I mentioned before and that type of situation we are all of them fragmented different pieces you lived it for a moment a moment you don't have a cohesive plan you don't have a focus that and that leads to all of other problems and maladies that we know that they lead to there's a second state will call it illuminated consciousness where you are a in a state of awareness you are aware of your situation doesn't mean it's perfect but you have clarity and even when there's a problem you realize this is a problem I need to overcome and you have direction you know where you're going differently so in traveling and they're lost in the woods and someone's not in the woods but they know where they're going they have some sound traveling in the dark another traveling with a flashlight someone with a GPS and some without a GPS so when we talk about life obviously when we come into this world a child emerges from its mother's womb it's in a dark world it's the parents of the child and then the educators and the peers and the friends that will help train and educate the child to call from a darkened state so the child should have we should have the as I said the skills and the resources to be able to really function as a productive adult if the child does not have those tools or those tools are someone's compromised you can have a child growing into an adult that is pretty much lost this doesn't mean they can't be successful at work it doesn't mean they can't make money doesn't mean they can't have pleasure but from a point of view of direction and saying I know the purpose of my life I have that focus I'm reaching to a transcendental state No so this is two different situations in two different states one is called the state of a blessed state the one is called a cursed state not cursed as in some type of curse from from above Christie means it's in a darkened state what this chapter comes to teach us is not that we avoid darkness and that we don't and we ignore it then even the darkness which balaam represented and Bullock who wanted the people to be curse even that turns into a blessing that's what it teaches us that that we can go into this dark world and yes counterfeit counteract the the word I wanted there divisive this the fragmentation the compartmentalization that so often plagues us internally and collectively to counter that that's why the story has to go through a dark state because the point is that blessings come from the darkest place as well because when you come from the dark and you come to realize the blessing the blessing can be even greater like the expression goes that you really produce good olive oil when you press the olive pressure creates greatness so in a strange way this dark world which we where we are sometimes feel listless listless aimless directionless if you really turn it around it can turn into a tremendous catalyst that can be a catapult us to tremendous growth and that's the story that's why big that's why it happens this way Balaam is commissioned to curse because we deal with adversarial situations revealed with all kinds of forms of darkness but it turns into great blessings but then comes the great warning remember don't become arrogant in your blessings don't become arrogant because end of the day we're all vulnerable son so it's true Balaam could not curse them but he could gave advice when we starts getting seduced by our own temptations when we get distracted and succumb to our own gratification and we lose sight of the picture that's when the trouble comes in so to have that type of focused and illuminated conscious living cause I would say they called mindfulness what's mindfulness the different meanings in different ways it's applied but the basic way mindfulness means your mind is on it you're aware how many things do we do because we're so like we don't even know we're not even aware there are people today completely unaware how rude how arrogant how hurtful they can be to others it's much worse when they're completely oblivious you know it bothers me to no end when people sit a meeting and everyone's texting now you say what's it if everyone's doing it rude since when is collective Rudin's not rude you're sitting with someone I mean I can't say I'm not been guilty but I really work very hard not to because we're so addicted to it you're sitting with someone either I contact you have any conversation and you gotta check your texts you mean phone rings now let's say both of them are doing it that doesn't make it better there's a respect and dignity human beings you look at me listen to me you don't wanna have time for me let's make another time but when you give me your time give it to me entirely this is called a blessed attitude however we can be rude today you know people have thousands of friends on Facebook but they're not friendly people you can sit in a stadium with 60,000 other baseball fans and and everyone's cheering it seems like you're all camaraderie then people call each their own way and don't even look at the other person the sensitivity that's necessary for humans to thrive is often very lacking in our callous universe and that's that's like you're even oblivious we don't even know we don't even know that's that's real darkness you don't even know there's a problem and that's what Balaam realized the best way to get to them is bed then let them bring their own problems upon themselves we don't have to bring it upon them so you have the whole story of blessings the opposite of blessings as I said profit from the word the blessed abraca paid to borrow jato blessed a blessing is drawing forth energy this is in the zohr there's a very interesting actually odd episode narrative what does it say says that Russia Mabuhay was a great mystic was the greatest mistake of them all the author of the Tsar what once upon one episode goes like this remember how the students wanted him to teach but he wasn't motivated for whatever reason he wasn't doing so so the suggestion was they should praise him giving compliments must be your brilliant option by your high your compassionate you are loved you know all the club bunch of compliments flatter him and when you do that he'll start teaching so of course the obvious questions what is that what is this first of all kind of behavior is that flattery we would say flattery won't get you anywhere but we're talking here one of the greatest sages flattery is what made him start teaching and before in the teaching is an obligation you have to hear that you're a great guy before you start teaching and the commentaries and when you read the Zora properly it's very obvious the reason the the compliments were not to flatter him the competence out to make him feel good the compliments were to elicit those strengths that those compliments offer from him so sometimes the person may not even always be aware or sometimes is distracted or busy with something else then you could say to them a competence not to compliment to make them feel good its to draw out the wisdom the compassion and so on so if you think about it it's a really of tremendous tool this is in marriage this is like one of the most underrated and and underused tools giving a compliment yes people do that in the first few months of their marriage when there's the honeymoon is still going on but then you start taking granted of people for granted when's the last time asked self someone's married for 30 years for 20 years he's just not for any particular reason just said you know I really appreciate you you're just a person that has these in these qualities I really appreciate it I think it's great now because they did something feel they give you dinner you said thank you or you want something from them so you know it's he warmed them up you're gonna butter them up with a few compliments who is it that told me this story it was very interesting yeah there was a couple different issues they had and one of the things she really disliked doing was washing dishes and especially even though they have a dishwasher taking the dishes out of this wash she once commented that on that and they would have also romantic issues intimacy issues the husband came home one day he looked at the the dishwasher he saw that was full the dishwasher even though was not with what he usually like to do either but he did it survive comes home she sees that dishwashers empty and with like a Rosen her a very romantic reaction a real appreciation cuz he did like a nice gesture and it like really created a connection and a bond at least for a while I don't know how long that lasted but it was something because it wasn't she didn't ask for it he just did it maybe this was shared this was shared in a workshop maybe of helping couples and the story was told the next thing we know there the women are saying you know something my husband has heard this workshop online or maybe YouTube forever and they're coming and telling me go check the dishwasher go check the dishwasher they thought by telling their wives that they did clean the dishwasher their wives will be very romantic with them you can see and obviously that's not gonna work if you tell them go check the dishwasher go check the dishwasher it has to come natural so the point is there's a certain element of reaching out and you take an initiative and not for any particularly reason whether it's a compliment whether it's praise or whether it's a blessing well it's a blessing is goes tremendous way not just because it touches another person's heart because you're opening up channels that's what it comes down you're opening up channels that's what a blessing is about channels to others and channels to yourself and allowing the ecosystem allowing your psyche your soul and the soul of those that you love to breathe and when it breathes is a certain give-and-take there's a symbiosis and a circulating flow of interconnectivity that makes things healthier and the same is true not just for spouses the same is true with children same is true with coworkers same is true even with strangers you know smile to somebody in a subway share a good words these things go a long ways you never know what can happen you never know what a person is going through you open up a door so easy in this survival of the fittest world where people just take care of themselves unless I get something then I'll give you something but that ability to just give without particularly necessarily getting something in return has tremendous tremendous implications it sounds simple but many of us need to train ourselves to be that way to be as they've come natural and to make that particular effort so let's destroy my friends of blessings and blessings that even come from negative experiences that negative experience can also bring tremendous blessings but Yaffa is the expression closer the broker says transform a Christian to a blessing I want to discuss this at length I believe I also wrote a long article about it another story in the Talmud the rubbish in the same rap assuming by a height he sent his son rabbul izza to go get blessed from the sages the great sages of the time his son goes off and to his it shocked by the fact that the stages instead of blessing him a curse comes back to his father is all traumatized father says so what were the blessings they gave you he said they didn't bless me they cursed me says father so tell me what they told you he began to repeat things that sound like a curse that's about and I don't really want to repeat it you read this article meaning flight comm check out it's a very interesting story his father listens to him and says that's not curses they really bless you they're all blessings you just didn't ought to read it what's he here it their cryptic and he went on to interpret how all those lines and they sold are really blessings so all the commentaries jump on this Talmud and say what is going on why they just bless him in a way that he could understand why have to be cryptic and why does his father have to interpret it so the different answer is given one of them I'll share two one of them is because they saw on the destiny of this person of rabbul izza they saw that these curses would be fallen so they wanted to transform it so they used language of like a curse but really they intended a blessing so they took his destiny but they turned it around by using those same words that sound negative with a positive intentions that was one answer good and another answer given by the ballet Tonya's almond of Lodi he says because there are two types of blessings some blessings that come flowing to you in a direct way very obvious blessings but there's some blessings that are so powerful they can't have come in a direct way they have to come concealed and that reveals and they can contain even more intensity you see this in life sometimes the things we express are never as intimate or intense as things that we can't express so that's why sometimes comes in a garment or in a container that looks negative but in truth it has even more power what it calls this hidden love the concealed love that can only be captured in a concealed in a concealed way but it has even deeper love pama however you explain it what you see here is the same thing you know when you wouldn't when the student comes to a teacher or or a child to a parent or we come to our friends and say bless me sometimes if they're wise they'll say make a statement that's you may not sound like a blessing today but a five years from now you realize it was unbelievable blessing because that's what a true teacher is a visionary can see sometimes things we don't see right now so you right now may say you know what's one should we'll give me a blessing then find out later what they actually said was a blessing except you didn't realize it at the time there's a story in the Talmud as well where one blessing was given that the wall in your house should fall down kind of blessing is that the hole in your wall yeah yeah they were destitute and when the wall fell down they discovered a treasure that was buried in the wall that will never been not known so that's just a small example there's times that we don't always see the blessing until later I want to conclude by saying this should all be blessed everyone here everyone listening I give you my humble blessing but most importantly more than blessing the blessing that opened of channels you have within you tremendous awesome awesome power that is bottled up and locked up and often we're not even aware of a blessing opens that door opens that that chat a channel to that energy so find people that bring blessing to your life and you blessed other people and that will also bring blessings that's what blessings are about we need a lot more blessings than we have we need lessons all the time because we have so many challenges in this world above all we're so comfortable in a way so we feel blessed no we don't have we don't have a war to fight we can live peacefully nobody's coming knocking on our doors to arrest us to kill us I'm not saying life doesn't have a challenges but we live in very blessed times in many ways Comfort prosperity compared to our great grandparents our grandparents 70 years ago what was going on in Europe so we are blessed sometimes we take it take for granted these blessings so we need another blessing you just appreciate the blessings we have and appreciate them in a real way not to just think a sense of entitlement that I deserve it it's recognizing it's a gift and how are you using it to the fullest how are you using the gifts you were given to help this world become a better place it gives you given to actualize your skills to help actualize others there's so much investment in fighting demons and I always think about it I always ask psychologists I always ask how much what would you estimate people invest more time in fighting darkness or in bringing light unfortunately most people are fighting more time invested in fighting their demons not judging them not Chao I'm not I'm not criticizing however it's sad because you could take all that energy if you could really take that energy and focus on building I'm bringing light bringing blessing instead of fighting curses how much healthier would we be so we live in this world where we have these challenges but the good news is that beneath the surface lied these chapters these assets and these resources and we need to build these channels says everyone should be blessed I hope I could say that many of you brought blessing or all of you have brought less into my life I hope I bring blessing to yours and please be in touch meaningful life center myself we're here as a resource as an asset as a friend in any possible way and may we always bless each other everyone have a blessed week we continue on this journey every Wednesday as I always say the most dignified thing to be involved in is in the intersecting in the majestic and dignified soul a journey of another person's soul I feel honored that I have been part of so many people's souls journeys and and that and then you've been part of mine and I think that's an unbelievable way to celebrate and that may be the greatest blessing of all that ability to create that synergy the synergy that comes from that type of interconnection so again everyone have a blessed week Simon Jacobson here both YouTube and Facebook or faith that's YouTube and that's Facebook please share your thoughts your comments like it hope post it get the word out there and hopefully we can create a ripple effect the butterfly effects and impacts and creates a perpetual blessing that feeds the next blessing in a as I said perpetual domino effect and everyone be well and be blessed thank you yeah it was nice meeting you

Channel: Rabbi Simon Jacobson at Meaningful Life Center

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Keywords: rabbi simon jacobson, kabbalah, chassidus, blessings, balaam

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Length: 61min 51sec (3711 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 05 2017