How To ENJOY LIFE

welcome to the effortless English show at the world's number-one English teacher AJ Hoge where AJ's more than 40 million students worldwide finally learn English once and for all without the boring textbooks classrooms and grammar drills here's AJ with a quick piece to help you learn to speak fluent English effortlessly I'm AJ Hoge the author of effortless English learned to speak English like a native father of the effortless English system and club that trains you to speak English fluently you speak English powerfully you think in English you speak English effortlessly people understand you when you speak English you feel relaxed and confident when you speak English those are the results you train with my VIP program you commit and don't quit how do you do that it's easy go to my website effortless English club comm go there today effortlessenglishclub.com commit don't quit commit to my VIP program commit really commit and you will get those results just like other great VIP members live on Facebook a little earlier than normal today because I'm watching a baby and my baby is sleeping right now and let's all just hope she continues to sleep or else I might I might need to end this show very quickly if she starts going crazy but anyway we'll try it we'll try as always just want to say hello to everyone is checking in live still live on Facebook by the way you know I don't like Facebook Facebook's a terrible company lots and lots of censorship is happening at Facebook and so I mean to be honest I don't really like using Facebook but the problem is that right now for live shows live-streaming shows this is the best option the best choice part of it is that my system I have a very easy simple system that's important for me because I'm very busy especially now with the babies that I don't have time to deal with I don't have time to solve a lot of technical problems and other some other streaming software you know programs I have used always have technical problems and problems with the stream and problems with the connection and it's very frustrating and that means I do fewer shows so I need a streaming service that will a live streaming show that will let me kind of use this very this great software that I have and I'm using Apple computers mostly and then the second part is that the live chats that we have a very good community that we think on Facebook is only people who follow me only people who follow effortless English watch the live shows usually so we have a very good audience a very positive audience it's just effortless English fans supporters or people who are interested in effortless English and that's why we have such positive comments and we can have really good discussions and great questions all of that so that's the other thing that I need from a streaming service many of them this is the other problem many of them they let anybody watch you know without following without subscribing so you get a lot of trolls a lot of people just coming they don't care about effortless English many of them are Americans or British or they already speak English they just want to cause problems and get attention and I don't again I don't like to deal with that it's just waste too much time so for those two reasons I'm using Facebook still I don't use Facebook for other social media I do not use Facebook for my personal life I do not put personal photos on Facebook anymore fact I do I'm deleting all my past photos from Facebook especially I've already already I deleted all photos of children no but I had some photos of cousins and not cousins of nephews and nieces and I deleted all of them from Facebook already and then slowly I will delete its I have so many right now but I'm gradually deleting all my personal stuff from Facebook I recommend you do the same you know right now we'll just use their video serve but don't put personal information on facebook it's not safe they give this to governments they give this to companies they're spying on us they're censoring people they're a terrible company so don't support them just I've used to advertise on them I'm not advertising on Facebook anymore because I don't want to give them any money so anyway hello to everybody from all around the world as usual Brazil Turkey Egypt said a little earlier so maybe we have some different places I don't know Ukraine maybe a few new people can join us Kurdistan Sri Lanka Somalia Vietnam your eyes are beautiful well thank you that's very sweet thank you how we have mena Suvari to see you like alexei so yeah i'm seeing a lot of familiar names here which is good I'm doing well today okay let's talk about our topic and then we'll come back and I'll do the live questions and comments by the way follow me on gap speaking of social media and getting away from these terrible Silicon Valley companies see the problem with these companies they're communist they want to control us it's all about mind control it's all about spying it's all about censorship all these companies they're all in the same little area in this in Northern California right and that's why they all think the same it's a very kind of left-wing communist marxist corporate area of the San Francisco area just south of San Francisco and also including San Francisco so we want to as much as we can we've got to get away from these companies so that's why I'm on gab now and we have a good gap group effortless English gab group gab has improved a lot has improved a lot which is great this time my first time with gab was not so good but this time having a very good experience with gab so I am trying to do more and more on gab I will be doing less on Twitter and less on Facebook because those are their enemies they don't like it like us so why should we support them and the good news I think more and more companies will start to compete with them in especially companies outside Silicon Valley and even outside of America even better I think you'll start to see Asian companies Japanese Chinese Korean competing with them and you're gonna see you're more and more European companies it's already happening Russian those are the main areas that I see so far and then even in the United States away from California so gap is a Texas company they're located in Texas they're not a Silicon Valley company which is good very good there's a new one coming called social galactic it's go it's like another kind of social media Twitter replacement it's coming and I think in a couple months they're based in Italy Italian it also looks promising looks like it might be good so I you know we're going to have some good choices other choices we just you know in time little by little we'll find other choices and we can leave these terrible companies but that's not our topic today that's not the topic our topic is how to enjoy life I promised you a happier topic right the last show was kind of heavy serious and so I promise you today we would discuss a happy topic so this is a happy topic and it's how to enjoy life how to enjoy life now Europeans not all Europeans but I'd say I would say generally Europeans have an idea an ideal maybe is a better word to use put an L on the end ideal means a like it's a high idea maybe it's something we we hope for we try for an ideal and I'd say overall in Europe especially in the southern Mediterranean European countries there is an ideal of an idea of the good life living the good life not a good life but the with a with th the good life and what does this mean this kind of European I it's not only European but certainly I see it in Europe especially southern Europe quite a lot Mediterranean Europe and it's the idea of of enjoying life is really what it is it's about having balance and life enjoying life and much of it means especially balancing work and money against everything else and so many Europeans and these countries they for example they look at America and they think Americans work too much Americans just work work work work work work work American life is unbalanced it's not balanced Americans don't enjoy life enough because they're working working working working working all the time and they look at Japan and Japanese and this kind of even worse than America write work work work work work work it's not their work is bad work is fine but it that it's unbalanced and the Europeans the southern Europeans have more of this idea that oh well you know work is only one little part of life but we have to balance it with these other parts to fully enjoy our life that we need enough leisure time I'll give you an example that I saw in Spain okay Spain I think you'll probably see this in Italy you probably see this in Greece and maybe some of the more northern European countries too but but certainly in Spain so when I when I visited Spain and when I traveled around Spain I saw this very much the Spanish have a different view of work some might say lazy some Americans might say lazy but you know fair enough but I think there's some very positive things about it and for example you know the Spanish very famously have a siesta traditionally some of their international companies maybe not but still there is an idea of siesta siesta what is a siesta siesta is a break in the middle of the day there's not an exact time but let's say from I don't know 1 o'clock 2 o'clock in the afternoon until 5 2 to 5 1 to 4 you know it's 2 or 3 hours long something like that it might be a little later maybe it's 3 to 6 maybe varies different parts of Spain the exact times might be a little different but basically it's the middle of the day and siesta and the idea is during the siesta what do you do you take a break right they don't this idea of working 8 or 9 hours without a long break just work work work all day they I don't like that so what they do is they work in the morning and then they maybe they have their lunch but then they take as long siesta what do they do in this siesta well really anything I might go home and take a nap or take a nap in there at the office I think mostly what they do is they'll go out and maybe they'll have a very long lunch or go to a little cafe and just sit and relax and chat with co-workers or friends maybe they'll read a book whatever every most of the business is closed during this time but you usually can find like a couple little cafes with the Spanish often called bars but really in English what we call cafes will be open but it's basically this is relaxing quiet time in them in the afternoon and this is again you know the idea of it's a balance okay you work work work in the morning but then take a break don't just work work work work work work work work without a break all day like Americans do like Japanese do like many others do now of course you know the the history of this it involves the weather right especially the summers in Spain and Italy too can be really hot especially middle of the day and so especially before air-conditioning it was crazy to work work work in the hottest part of the day so they would go and uh take a break right but um but it's also connected to this idea of the good life of balancing work and other parts of life and then what the Spanish will do they'll go back and they'll work more and then the second thing that connected to this this good life is that the Spanish stay out late they go out late 8 9 10 11 at night they go out and they typically will go they'll get you know tapas you know there's those little um small snacks or little small meals but they go with the ideas you go out with friends or family or at home home also but the idea is that you spend time social time you have this social time at night with friends and with family friends and family friends or family and they'll stay up late you know till midnight or 1:00 or later and it's not of course especially young people there maybe they go out drinking and they get drunk but it's different than America when people in America stay out late usually they're getting drunk and it's younger people but that's not really the common thing I saw in Spain it's a more of just it's more about again appreciating and enjoying social time with the people that you care about your friends and your family if you're have family then you maybe you go do things with family or you know they come over to your house another part of this idea of the good life especially the European idea is that you appreciate and enjoy the good things in life right so what does that mean good people social life good people the people you care about most good food they definitely like to appreciate and enjoy good food but again it's an there's an eye idea in all of this of balance and moderation that to enjoy means to slow down a little bit take time and appreciate not just food eat a huge amount of food and become until you're you know you're completely full and then you get really fat that's not the idea again that's more of an American idea and British idea and maybe other places too but this is not the idea that for example in Spain Italy Greece it's uh enjoy good food yes but by good they mean quality right not junk but higher quality food and they mean enjoy it in moderation I mean slow down appreciate the taste not just I eat it really fast for calories or for some quick good feeling but slow down and appreciate it now the Japanese also have this idea Japan this is the same idea Japanese have about food Japanese value what we would say subtlety in Japan food right not just super strong tastes I love Indian food I love Thai food but those those are strong tastes but Japanese food to them it's fantastic taste but in Japanese about the quality that you're you have to notice it you have to slow down a little bit and appreciate the they're not quite as strong but they're really good the the tastes of the food the quality of the food and I think that the Europeans have this idea to I mean the French are favors for there's the Italians and the Spanish they're all famous for this kind of thing so um even alcohol alcohol again so you know I don't drink but but in Europe you'll find again the ideal of enjoying alcohol but in moderation that it's something that like you you drink a nice wine that tastes good use you drink it not glue fast but slowly appreciating the taste and quality of it not the American college student idea of drink just to get drunk and lose control different than that and you'll see this also with whiskey now you will see this for example up in Scotland - and and other parts of Europe all around Europe same idea that you're not just drinking whiskey fast ku-ku-ku-ku drink it fast and get drunk and lose control no no no no no that the idea is that it this is something that there's all these little very small little complicated flavors in the whisky and you you smell it you drink it's very slowly you notice it you appreciate it like an art speaking of art same idea along this the idea of good life that part of the good life is enjoying and appreciating art good art good music quality music sports all of these things not just work work work right so here's the I and I think this is a wonderful idea and you can really you can see this when you travel around Europe especially if you go to get out of the fast big cities and you get to smaller towns and you take your time and you talk to people and there is this slower more enjoyable speed of life maybe I like it I'm from the South in the United States and traditionally in the south of the USA south east we have the same idea slow down don't go so fast we look at people in New York City and we think they're crazy on they're just running around working working working busy busy busy every you know go go go go go go all the time and we have a different idea in the south and again especially in Mediterranean Europe probably I don't know I haven't been there but I imagine probably similar to also in Turkey and Syria and Lebanon and I imagine it goes down into what we call the Middle East but into Mediterranean areas there too I've just I've been to Turkey and you probably actually I don't know I've only been to Istanbul so I'm not sure but I imagine that's it's a it's an overall Mediterranean thing even not not just southern Europe so anyway I think this is a wonderful idea but how does this connect with our idea of simplicity see sometimes when I talk about simplicity right voluntary simplicity lives simply cut your expenses super low people think it's the opposite of what I'm talking about people think I'm talking about the opposite of the good life don't enjoy life right live eliminate everything we have a word in English austere there's like this is a good vocabulary word for you austere austere is this idea of not just simple but but strict strict tough like you eliminate everything no pleasure right people you know people imagine like a monk in a cave meditating no enjoyment that's what people some people not everybody but some people imagine when I say simplicity when I say cut your expenses when I say live live live cheaply they some people think I'm talking about that they think it sounds boring there's no enjoyment how could you can't you're not enjoying life here you're you're living in you know in an ugly place and you never enjoy anything and so that's why they think oh that sucks why because we've been trained right again advertising advertising advertising we're trained we think to live a good life equals spend money right we think that live a good life means consume consume buy consume spend we think that's what it means but it doesn't so the truth is exactly the opposite when you when you look at the for example my example of Spain what gives the Spanish that balance what gives the Spanish that enjoyment its time it's the time it's not money it's the time it's the time they take the time they take a break from work they have that time in the middle of the day to slow down to relax take a break they take the time in the evening to see their friends to enjoy with their family to enjoy good food and appreciate it they slow down and appreciate whether it's drinking or eating they slow down to appreciate art to appreciate music they take the time to do all of this they're not working working working 60 hours a week 50 hours a week exhausted from work like a lot of Americans a lot of Americans they have no time for this stuff this I don't have time to do this I don't have time to take a nap during the day I don't have time to spend four hours a night with friends and family I don't have time you know this is what Americans complain about a lot and Japanese and others too it's the time that gives that balance that moderation that enjoyment of life work is great I I like my work but we need them out we need the time for it's the own it's only part of life not shouldn't be the biggest thing the Europeans are correct about this so it's not money it's time you don't need a lot of money to have a good life to enjoy the good life to enjoy life you need time you also need a mindset an attitude of appreciation and mindfulness mindfulness means awareness this is what import is important not a lot of money you know for example you can go sit in a park you can take two hours in the afternoon like a siesta you don't have to spend money you can just sit in a nice park read a book you can make a coffee at home and you know bring it in a bottle like a that keeps it warm if you like warm take it to the park with a little sandwich or a snack in a book sit in the park a couple hours watch the birds watch the people look at the sky look at the flowers read your book drink a little coffee or tea or water that's great and that's almost no money super super super cheap spending money is not necessary just the time is necessary and the attitude it's the same thing you can go walking this is why I encourage you when you listen to effortless English lessons or my podcasts go for a walk walk around maybe you have a nice city go look at the buildings look at the architecture look at the people look at the sky look at the trees appreciate appreciate it all each day what about you know some people say like with the Spanish well it costs money to go out to eat to go to restaurants and Spanish do you like restaurants they do go out a lot but uh you don't have to do that you can do the same thing at home cook at home have dinner parties at home and bite your friends and their family come to your house and you make dinner or maybe everybody bring something right we call this um no there's different names for it in English but you know basically everybody brings one dish and then you just enjoy several hours in your home with friends or with family other family and just talk and relax a dinner party so no no money for restaurants you don't have to go out you can do it in your home and maybe then next week you go to someone else's home right it kind of goes around to different people's houses I used to do this when I was in grad school when I was in grad school I didn't have a lot of money but uh my friends in grad school we did this we had a weekly dinner party and each week someone new would host it so we would go to different people's houses we each bring each of us would bring something some dish or some snack and then we just it was very nice it was fun it was very cheap but very social it was fantastic really fun really enjoyable I miss it actually so dinner parties again very cheap um what else and another thing you can do to enjoy the good life this really enjoying life without spending money is a basic idea do do do instead of consuming instead of being a consumer right we get the messages TV movies especially advertising consumed by consumed by watch all of that is passive but instead do create make for example art appreciating art is wonderful but even better do art okay maybe you don't have money you don't have money you can't pay to go to a museum well learn to draw learn to draw just sketch and draw you don't need to become a great artist that's not necessary but just start to learn the skills and each day go to a park go outside drawing it you can draw anything you can draw a cup you can draw things in your home you can draw fruit you can draw trees you can draw plants you can try to draw people become an artist do art make art instead of just looking at it again what do you need to draw a pencil and paper cheap super cheap a pencil paper maybe an eraser I mean that's super super super cheap you can learn to sketch and draw and the other cool thing about this doing art instead of just looking at it you will also appreciate it more you know I I learned to sketch and draw a little bit I'm not very good there's a long time ago I did this I might try to do it again eirick actually miss it a little bit but um but after I did that I when I looked at famous paintings and famous drawings like masters I saw I looked at them differently I could see I realized the skill I realized Wow now I understand why this is amazing you know when I visited Sistine Chapel and I saw Michelangelo's work and I real ah okay you know of course it's beautiful but if you learn even just a little bit you try to draw you'll appreciate those masters much more the same is true for music you know again instead of just listening to music right we listen to music as a product it's kind of brainwashing especially popular music popular music is garbage mostly garbage there is good music now but it's I think it's smaller it's independent it's more local again that's a cheaper way to enjoy music if you go to see Paul McCartney you know from the Beatles or u2 or ariana grande or whatever Lady Gaga you will pay a lot of money for those tickets expensive but probably in your little town or city there are many fantastic just amazing musicians just little you know local they're not famous you can go to a small club and see them or a cafe for very very cheaply very very cheap and the other thing the cool thing when you see these local musicians you're it's like front row seats you're paying little money the music is great and you're right in front of them like front row better than any expensive concert you can go to see classical music so often it's not it's not expensive many times sometimes it is but often you can find it where it's not and also with music instead of just listening to it become a musician now again you do not you do not have to become a good musician you know I tried to learn the bass I practiced bass guitar a little bit and eventually I stopped but uhm just a little bit doing it again I now appreciate music more first of all now when I listen to music I hear the bass in the past I died I really did not notice the bass at all I didn't notice the drums very much in the past but well after learning bass a little bit it now I appreciate I can listen I can hear the bass I hear the drums and I like why appreciate just the overall rhythm the overall music much more now just by trying a little bit it's the same with singing I did singing lessons for a while and I'm not a very good singer but I can't sing a little bit now I'm less shy about it now and I enjoy it now and at home I'll sing a little bit sometimes it's great and again I appreciate good singers now more so again you can learn to play guitar just basic guitar you can buy a cheap very cheap acoustic guitar or electric you can buy a cheap one you can get on youtube and learn chords you can learn to play songs very cheap you can learn to draw pencil and paper only very cheap and this is true again for any kind of art you want to do so again your your appreciating and enjoying the good life and enjoying these good things about civilization does require money even something like wine some people are they love to enjoy wines there's so much good wine I can't tell you from experience but just from reading watching videos from what I see that there are some very very very very very good wines quality wines that are not expensive now because you know you've got your pian wines you've got Australian wines they grow them in Chile they California so you've got all these places around the world now and there's so many people and there's little small growers that you can find some excellent wines quite that are quite cheap and this is just true in so many areas like I said with music you can find local musicians cheap great you can see them face to face often you can talk to them after the show and have a conversation with them tell them you like them it's amazing it's great so we can live this good life without a lot of money and the reasons simplicity is important voluntary simplicity cutting your expenses it gives you the time you you don't need to work so much so then you have time to do all of these other things in life you know for example a lot of women they face they complain that they have children I don't have time to stay home I have to go to work they want to raise their children be at home with their children all the time well cut your expenses and do it your children are more important than extra money you know cut your expenses enjoy cheap things enjoy free things appreciate life slow down the time with your children is magic no job can replace that never never and dad's do you know I'm a new dad same thing I work some yeah my wife doesn't work she's full-time mom but uh you know I'm mostly a full-time dad now too i-i have simplified my business and my work so i have lots and lots and lots of time for my children to so they get to enjoy their mom and their dad all the time and again it's more important than money we need some money to live but we can we can live more simply than we imagine and when we do when we change our attitude change our mindset we appreciate the free things the cheap things the simple things in life when we become creative this gives you that good life the europeans talked about because the most precious thing is the time and the appreciation not the money all right so there you go I hope that's a you know it's a positive thing the great thing is students can enjoy this poor people can enjoy this rich people can enjoy this it doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter how much you're making you can simplify your life to give yourself more time you can change your mindset your attitude to appreciate to slow down to enjoy all of these parts of life these wonderful gifts we have all of these things are better than an expensive car all of these things are better than an expensive house all of these things are better than expensive clothes all of these things are better than expensive electronics computers phones all of these things are much better so enjoy life yes enjoy it yes there's evil like we talked about yesterday and it's all this programming to make us choose to spend money and buy and be slaves and follow them but the good news you have this other choice and this other choice is not expensive this other choice is simple this other choice is wonderful and it's happy and it's enjoyable it's not boring it's the opposite of boring it's fantastic it's wonderful so choose that all right let's go to the questions and comments live questions and comments on Facebook I'll give you a minute now see Louisa this is I'm gonna call you out on this this is absolutely starving one kids for free time who said starving that's a negative victim mindset you're saying you can't reduce your expenses you're saying you have to buy phones and expensive cars and expensive houses and lots of consumer stuff now you're you it's an excuse you know how cheaply you can feed your children in fact you do you have to take your children to expensive restaurants do you know how cheap good food is quality food a huge bag of rice for example organic rice huge or beans cheap or just regular quality meats to go to your local butcher fresh vegetables even better grow your own you can't a garden make your own garden that is the highest quality food you can feed your children the best nutrition and it's also cheaper than going to the grocery store so that's a book that's a attitude I think your children would rather have your time what they want is your love and your time not new clothes not an iPhone not expensive plastic toys you know like vatra Slav here says spend more time with kids without spending your money exactly how expensive is a ball a soccer ball well it's cheap you buy it one time and you can play with your children for years and years with that soccer ball take them to the park run around you can play soccer you can play dodge ball you can chase them you can climb oh there's so much you can do costs nothing almost nothing or it costs nothing like my little nephew who live in near me I play with him all the time we play with a ball we climb trees and we look we look around for bugs we catch bugs and we look at plants and we collect plants I mean all that is free and we have a great time and because of that because I spend that time with him I'm very very close to him we are very very very close my nephew and I because of the time and it cost no money we don't we never spend money now what if I was working working working all the time and I didn't see him much and I just bought him stuff would I have a good relation no he'd say thanks and then throw it you know and that's it and he'd forget about it you know those plastic toys they get they are excited before they get the toy because of marketing and maybe social pressure from other kids they're excited about this plastic toy oh yeah yeah yeah when they get it they're excited for maybe what one week usually and then what happens they throw it in the closet and they just usually forget about that toy it's gone and then they want the next one and the next one and the next one that's bad training they don't need that crap it's garbage man it's garbage train bus says nice glasses but your eyes look nicer without it yeah the glasses are for reading that's why I'm taking them on and off and see Snuggle says exactly it takes zero dollars zero to be a friend with your children and to create a healthy member for society that's right zero dollars none even feeding your cell and this is also not just children yourself look you will eat healthier and more cheaply if you eat at home quality fresh real food it's cheaper and it's healthier so I don't know I just don't I just don't understand this that mentality because you know I've done it I've done it I and I still doing it so this this idea you have to spend lots and lots of money for your kids to be happy is absolutely wrong the idea you have to spend a lots and lots of money for you to be happy is totally wrong and in fact it's really the opposite if you focus on spending money and all your time working working working you will be less happy here's a book recommendation from Chrissy on how to enjoy living life by there's a book called the monk who sold his Ferrari the monk who sold his Ferrari haven't I haven't read that I've seen it but I haven't and Liebherr see you boomer leo boomer says you're definitely right I spend too much time a day for my job I see as my children suffer from lack of time I set aside for them I hope I'll be able to change my job in the future good good good I'm not attacking you by the way I'm not criticizing people you know I understand you like you're a bad person I'm saying you will be happier if you do this I'm trying to help you okay I'm trying to help and it's a choice I'm not I can't force you to do anything I'm just giving you my opinion and my advice and my experience you do what you want of course you do does it mean you're evil and a bad mom if you're working right now no but I'm just saying think about it and if and think about reducing your work time not just women men - men - you know in Japan they have this problem where the the women will stay home with the children which is fantastic but then the man will work crazy hours not all but many of them they work 60 hours a week 70 hours a week they're working until ten o'clock at night so they do not have that close connection to their children it's it's stupid it's terrible it's there they're crazy and there it's not human so men too by the way you know not just women my dad you know I can't say this from my own my dad did this not sixty hours a week but you know I didn't see my dad enough my dad was not enough of a leader not enough of influence in my life as a child because he was working too much and I know you know I'm not blaming him not attacking him he thought he was doing the right thing he you know he was programmed like all of us like you and I he was programmed you know that that more money more money bigger house that was the key to happiness and a good life but he was wrong he was wrong this was he a bad person no but it was a mistake it was a mistake and the reason I'm teaching you this and telling you this is because we're all getting this programming all of this programming and it's a lie it's a lie okay the other thing is another thing to think about is you can make small improvements okay you don't need to quit your job right now 100% and completely change your life suddenly you can do that I have done that in the past but you don't have to you can make little improvements you know reduce your work time a little bit reduce your spending a little bit increase your savings a little bit take a little extra time with your family with your children get a little more balance in your life slow down a little bit and then later a little more and then later a little more you can make a very slow gradual change in one year two years five years yeah it depends on your personality it depends on your situation some people like big sudden changes and they'll just jump in and do something big and some people will do they prefer small and little by little even for me actually it depends on the situation some parts of life I like to jump in and make a big change suddenly other parts of life I prefer very slow and gradual so it's okay right that's okay I'm just saying we can enjoy this good life we do not need to be slaves to money more money's not going to you know spending lots of money does not make you happy and this is the key I think Marianas got a nick is 100% right about this people can't live simply because they are afraid of being different or unusual from others and it's again it's the social programming schools media and others they're afraid of being different or unusual from others that is I agree I think she's a hundred percent right about this I think this is exactly what it is I think that's the biggest factor they measure success by what they have compared to what other people have done or have we must remember to live happily and have peace of mind success measured by what you should and could have happened and done yes that's right here's an idea measure your success by your happiness there's a good definition of success how happy are you if you have a billion dollars and you are super unhappy are you successful you are successful financially yes but are you generally successful in life I say no if you live very very simply and you are very very happy in general yeah we all have problems but overall you're appreciating your life you have gratitude you have love you have happiness you're successful that's success not you know what what it what is money it's just numbers it's paper or numbers on a screen it's useful yes of course we need it in our modern world we need it but don't worship it yet Liza is it with a good point and I see I see in my environment many parents buy horrible video games for their kids they don't deal with them talk to them they just let them immerse themselves in this false false world terrible awful yeah well I mean here's what the problem is a lot of parents a few problems a lot of parents are tired all the time why they're working too much okay yeah they're tired they're trying to do too much their life is too busy so because of that they're they're tired all the time I understand they are tired because they are tired when their children are being energetic when their children are being naughty they are they can't they don't want to deal with it they don't have the energy children require a huge amount of energy I understand that and so what do they do well what's the easy solution oh give the child a video because when you give a video to a child they just become quiet and yeah but it's programming okay they're learning a lot of evil terrible programming video games same thing not all video games are terrible and evil but a lot of them are very violent and again too much is bad for their brain bad for their happiness but they're babysitters this is also by the way why a lot of chil parents I think most parents like school public schools babysitting it's free babysitting again they get a break because they're tired they don't really believe the schools are good at education what they but what they do like is the schools take their children for many hours a day so that's problem number one they're tired the other reason they're tired they're tired because they're working or too busy too many distractions too many things the second reason they're tired is because they don't understand how to do discipline and leadership this is a problem my parents generation I'm talking about American culture I don't know other countries but American culture my parents generation the baby boomers they were the first TV generation they were programmed and because of that many of them did a bad job as parents bad job meaning they did not discipline they did not have enough discipline they did not have enough leadership they were afraid to be leaders for their children they were afraid to teach their children to guide they were afraid to give rules they gave their kids too much freedom at a young age well when you do that it's not good for your children it does not make them happier it makes them little monsters and when the children become monsters when they have no self-control no discipline no rules no respect well then what happens then it's very difficult to be around them you don't enjoy them you become very tired you become even more tired why because the children are bad all the time they are disrespectful not respectful they're they don't follow rules they have no self-control no one likes this no adult wants to be around children who are rude and uncontrolled and spoiled and the parents also don't like it and it makes the parents very very tired and so again what do they do instead of learning leadership instead of learning discipline what do they do here's a video and it's fast but it's terrible you've got to learn and I understand like if your parents did not do this if you didn't learn from your parents how to do this then you have to figure it out read books you know books are good watch videos figure out how to do discipline okay you can do it in a kind way you know discipline is love you discipline means you are training and teaching your children and preparing them to be great adults you're teaching them self-control you're teaching them how to be good socially with adults and other children okay this is love it's not control it's love and when your children are generally you know polite generally have good self-discipline for their age then everybody loves to be around them including you including the parents then you don't want to give them a video you want to talk to them you want to play with them you want to be with them more they're wonderful to be with all right so and this is good for them then they're around more adults they get good all these good influences they have this great social life so disciplining your children and having rules and guidelines and teaching them good social politeness is love and you will love and appreciate and enjoy your children much much more when you do this but if you let them go wild and crazy and be rude you're not going to enjoy them so this is why we also with homeschooling people think people think oh I could never homeschool oh my god so difficult well they think this because they think it would be terrible they think their children at home all day acting naughty and uncontrolled would be a disaster it would it would it would be terrible but if when you discipline loving discipline when your children learn good social skills then it's easy you will love it you'll enjoy teaching them I mean teachers do this I when I taught children long long ago that's the first thing I had to learn the first skill I had to learn was these children must be disciplined this is a good thing about being at teaching children because you have a you have many children in a class 5 8 10 20 30 if if they go wild if they go crazy you it will be hell all right so teachers know this and they learn how to make rules and how to make you know good behavior and they do it with 20 kids you can do it with two you can do it with three or five how or one you just have to learn the skills that's all learn the skills you'll learn it you'll be good all right sorry I'm talking long about that ratha says just stop the digital addiction stop sleeping with it by doing so you can start to think more clearly about how you are choosing to spend your time enjoy ibly 100% agree these are dangerous things these where's my old dead phone anyway you know what I'm talking about we say in english a nice idiom double-edged sword double-edged sword right a sword has two sharp sides so the Internet is has a good side which is what we're doing now you can get good books you can find wonderful things on the Internet but it hasn't a bad side you can also find a lot of garbage a lot of programming a lot of lies TV is TV is mostly negative movies and TV are almost all negative Internet is mixed but the good thing about the Internet is you can choose TV there's not much choice because the big companies control it completely Umbra hey bruh what book helped you the most to take care of your own business now I'm not sure if you're talking about my financial like in a general way like my my financial life or if you mean specifically my actual business but in general I recommend your money or your life your money or your life by Joe Dominguez is really good about how to live a simple life and also enjoy life a lot your money or your life live a simple life and enjoy it your money or your life by Joe Dominguez and Vicky Robyn for business books think about that sorry I'll do another I'll do another show about business sometime we'll talk more all right just continuing to read comments one second okay here's um let's see huele I'm sorry about pronunciation nowadays there are so many people getting stressed for their work pressure yeah so sports workout hobby spending time with your friends and family are all good ways to reduce stress you can practice yoga to reduce stress all good suggestions see this is again this Europe I say European of course it's not only European but I always think of Europe about this because they many Europeans do a good job with this at least traditionally and so there is a right there's that there's all these wonderful parts of life and we can enjoy all of them if we do too much of one it's unbalanced and it actually be creates unhappiness maybe this you know I say Europe maybe this goes back to Aristotle it's you know Aristotle very famously talked about moderation the value of moderation meaning this idea of not too much not too little not too much not too little I mean you know Buddhist and Buddha taught exactly the same thing the middle way so it isn't just a European idea but maybe in Europe that's where it goes back to so right sports are fun exercise you need to take care of your body not just for exercise but enjoyably I enjoy walking I enjoy doing exercise you can play sports whatever do it enjoyably and it can be free you can join a gym but I don't I pay no money for exercise hobbies you could be drawing it could be painting it could be I don't know anything building furniture anything you want that you enjoy and then of course of course your family and your children and then also your friends we all need friends also that and meditation and God and all of it yoga I mean all of these things give you a this complete life and yes work is part of this of course work is one part of it but it should not be the main part the only part the work should not take over everything else money should not take over everything else money is one part yeah no this is good some yacht kind says just supporting money to your kids is not enough I don't think it's enough right it's not help them have goals in fact that's probably the smallest thing help them have goals yes help them know what they're good at what they really want to be in life yes give them some guidance some coaching as they get older especially right most young kids don't know what they want to be where to put their time energy and focus yes another topic dating in women and men marriage parents don't talk about this anymore you know sakya so many I mean on I'm you know I talk I talk about different topics mostly education and philosophy but so many especially young men but sometimes young women ask me questions about dating in marriage I'm not an expert about that at all but but then I realize yeah you know parents don't teach this anymore this is one of your big jobs as a parent not just quickly say something to them but I mean tell them how do you have a good relationship with a man or a woman how do you date if you're a young man how do you attract a girl what should you do and not do what works what doesn't work what should you be careful of what kind of girls are bad and you should avoid them what should you look for and a girl that's good it's not just a good body or a nice face right we all know this and of course moms and parents need to do this with their girls too but they don't you know mine didn't I think they're embarrassed by it I think modern parents not all but many modern parents are embarrassed about this topic so they avoid it so where do the kids get information where do they get information about dating love sex marriage the media movies TV and their stupid friends and the stupid friends get the same ideas from movie TV or worse the worst one is pornography porn which is everywhere online now and this is why young men have no idea how to attract a girl how to date how to get married and this is why the girls the same thing it's why they're all just trying they think just having lots of sex is the answer they're confused they're upset they're lost parents it's your job to help them with this I wish my parents had helped me it took me probably a full 20 years it took me 20 years to learn this and thank God for the internet because finally I started to figure it out what do women what are women really attracted to how do I really attract girls how do I really have a relationship with them that will work what should I really look for for a girl or a woman for marriage and how can that be good and how can I keep a marriage strong took me 20 years to figure that out and like young men now I was lost completely in my 20s I was clueless and lost and upset and unhappy and about this topic in this area of my life because my parents gave me zero information none so I just completely lost and I got all my information from media and it's the and I got the exact opposite it was lies lies lies I tried what the movies say tell you to do was a young man and the TV shows and it didn't work in fact it made me super unhappy and young they do the same thing to young women they tell you oh yeah just have fun party sex in the city and that's fun for a short time and guess what then you get older and then you're not so pretty and then you don't have a family and then oh the men are not so interested in you anymore and you wasted your youth on this so I understand from both sides so parents this is one of the big ones my aunt is is right about this and it's it's money is another one so sex dating relationships marriage and number two money my parents never taught me anything nothing zero about money they'd accept go to college get a job that was there that little sentence go to college get a job go to college get a job nothing else they didn't teach me about debt and usery and how dangerous it was they didn't teach me about financial independence probably because they didn't understand it themselves they didn't know so I don't blame them again I'm not attacking my parents I love them very much and I appreciate them I'm grateful for them they cared about me they loved me I have a good relationship with my parents they were programmed okay but we are not we are waking up and so we must teach our children about money to financial independence the truth about money Rich Dad Poor Dad you can read Rich Dad Poor Dad together that's an easy way to do it you don't need to be rich you don't need teach but just help them understand these ideas so as they grow up they have an idea they don't become slaves to money you know read your money or your life with your children teach it to them Riaan Rich Dad Poor Dad with your children teach it to them maybe they'll do better than you did I hope I hope my children are more free than I am I hope they're more happy I hope they know this before they're 38 because I was 38 when I finally figured out a lot of this stuff my late 30s well I hope they know when they're 18 or they're 16 right so we can you know we must do this don't don't don't think the schools will teach this stuff they won't or they'll teach lies don't think the media will teach this stuff it's it will be completely lies it's our job to be leaders and not just you know coaches leaders all of this okay I'm passionate about this topic can you see okay um oh man this is um I'm not serve as Georgian letters or any Russian hmm anyway I can't read your name I'm sorry a brand or yes but first someone has to teach me about money you got to teach yourself now I understand this because again my generation in America maybe you'll generate younger generations maybe some older generations maybe you did not learn this right maybe your parents never taught you any of this stuff don't blame them don't be angry at your parents because of this because they didn't know they also were programmed by TV and remember for your parents they did not have the Internet they only had TV they they they they couldn't learn this red pill stuff so easily we this is a good thing for us so don't blame them but you must teach yourself right I did not learn a lot of this stuff mice from my parents I didn't learn it from school so where did I learn it why did it take so long because I had to teach myself I did it with books and life experience how do you learn financial independence and money I just told you two great books read those books and then try to do what the books tell you how do you do leadership and discipline with your children there are many good books about this there's one called tools for teaching it's for it's for teachers but it's great for parents the same techniques work for parents I'm gonna type it now tools for teaching as a teaching or teachers I always forget anyway it's by Fred Jones now this is a great book about it's about discipline it's it's for teachers who teach children how to have discipline kind discipline okay kind not me not hitting and all that not yelling it like the exact opposite no yelling in this system this this technique no yelling at all yelling is a sign of weakness if you yell at your children it means you're angry you have no control it shows weakness to them so it's the exact opposite tools for teaching by Fred Jones you can use his methods for your own children when they're when they're being naughty when they're doing something you don't want them to do or when you want to teach them good things it's a it's it works so well it's very peaceful it's very loving and kind but it is also strong and it works I promise you it works it works it works so again you have to find out yourself maybe your parents didn't know this they didn't teach it to you you've got to learn it what about relationships like dating look like maybe you're a father and maybe you're like well you know I'm lucky I'm married but you know really I'm not confident about dating me really I don't really know how do they date how do they attract a girl and how do they you know then you know have a relationship and get me so you have to learn it if not for if you don't learn it for yourself learn it so you can help your children so you can learn like the rational male books for men the rational male by Rollo Tomassi three books I think and others but anyway you got a research maybe you find other books that work for girls I'm not sure cuz I'm I'm a man so I'm not really sure for we know mom's you know teaching girls about these topics but I have my wife will have to learn this and teach this to our daughter so you got to teach yourself independent learning that's why independent learning is important this is true for it does any topic health how do you cooking a lot of a lot of us men and women we didn't learn to cook I didn't learn to cook my mom didn't teach me my dad didn't teach me so I've got to learn it myself it's actually not that difficult you know get some cook books watch some videos you can learn how to do it pretty easily it's if it can be fun so just teach yourself that's how you do it teach yourself then teach your children and what this is what's cool is if your children are older if you maybe you have two children a little bit older you can learn together it's kind of something you do together this can actually help you become closer right you can say let's learn to cook you can help me let's both learn to cook at the same time you know dad needs to learn how to cook I did I don't know how I'm gonna try to start learning let's let's learn how to make some stuff and you can help me you know your children you can say to your children your children can help you they're learning as you learn that's what a great experience as a family you learn together okay Sayid says right now I'm living simply my life but I want to open my own business oh because because I want to open my own business to be financially free but it's very hard to live simply nowadays how can I continue continue well do what I said watch this video again because ah I just spilled coffee sorry one second yeah okay um you have to learn it takes time but you have to learn how to enjoy life without spending money all these things I talked about today then it won't feel hard it should not feel difficult I lived in a car I lived in a car I lived in a van for one year so I think I'm proud I probably lived more simply than you and I loved it it was enjoyable it was great I had a good time it didn't feel hard at all it felt fun it was fun it was an adventure but I knew how to enjoy it every day I went to I went I had my dog my dog lived with me in the in the van in the car every day we went out to the forest this great big area and I would get we'd go run I would run and exercise and sometimes just walk my dog would run around I'd play with her for a couple hours I went to a little local coffee shop I'd get a coffee and just sit I'd read books and write and draw a little bit there's so many things you can you can learn to love it and enjoy it but you have to learn how this is the challenge when you have all that free time you have to then learn how to enjoy that free time in a different way we're programmed to spend money for program to spend money in our free time we enjoy it Wow go to a movie buy a ticket spend money go to a movie go to a restaurant spend money right go shopping spend money this is the programming what do I do in my free time Oh spend money that's how you enjoy it it's programming it takes some time but you can learn other things that are just as fun more fun that are not expensive or that are free so that's what I would say to you you've got to learn to enjoy this I don't think of it it's not it doesn't have to be hard it can be fun it can be great yeah Aleksey says if you're focused only on money you're blind you can't see clearly and make reasonable decisions that's right again it's not that money is bad money as it has it's a tool someone just mentioned this it's something you use you become the master of money you become the master of work not it's your master right wait there it's the is it the Bible it's the love of money is the root of all evil the love not money doesn't say money is evil it says the love of money it's focusing on it too much making it the focus of your life too much that's where the evil is that's where the unhappiness is and and Alexie's right if you focus too much on it you're blind you can't see all of these other things that are so wonderful that are so fun that are so enjoyable in life but you don't see them okay on my or the question about students how does this apply to students I am a student great our parents and teachers always scare us fear they scare us to score good marks yeah we have to study even if we don't want to now I love to read books but these colleges eat up all my time is that okay to score less and enjoy more yes it is what are your thoughts I'm in the third year of my bachelor's degree for most degrees it's totally fine to get lower grades don't you know if you don't fail just get your degree instead of an a get a see see you still passing so you spend a little less time you're less stressed and you enjoy that other that extra time so yeah absolutely a hundred percent it is fine now if you plan to go to grad school see these grades these grades are only important with inside the school system I think companies don't care most companies don't care but if you plan to go to grad school well then they'll look at your grades of course because it's all part it's all the same system but if you don't care about that then it doesn't matter just get your degree and get out and get into the real world nobody cares nobody cares about your grade point average certainly not in America I don't know you have any I guess it's an Indian name you have a Ganesh avatar I don't know about India but I can say in the United States I never no one ever asked me my grade point average they don't care they care about your skill your experiences I don't know your first job just get experience be good at what you do this all this school stuff is nonsense liebherr liebherr boomer says american TV speaks a lot about money in comparison with Ukrainian or Russian media poor countries don't want their people to be financially free it can cause problems to the government oliva many you-you-you boomer sorry about the pronunciation american government also does not want people to be financially free it's a different kind of slavery so maybe in poorer countries you're correct but in America they all they talk about money but they do not teach independence they do not teach freedom they teach spending they want you to work work work work work work work and then spend spend spend spend spend so yes maybe there's more money in America they certainly talk about money more but they will not teach you how to be free in American media they don't teach you how to avoid debt they don't teach you how to avoid loans not the main media they don't teach you how to leave your job they don't teach you how to have more free time no no no no no they want you work work work work work work 40 hours a week 50 hours a week have two jobs mom and dad both work so they use money to make people into slaves work slaves it's just a different approach it's the same goal well this is an extremely you could possibly gonna ban some people here AJ Hoge says do you hate India from Balasaheb well that is actually absolutely crazy of course not and then card oh you are going to be banned because you're saying yes he hates India I heard lots of times he said that you are lying and you are a liar and I have never said that card Oh after this I'm going to go on to Facebook and ban you never again can you join not only do I not hate India I absolutely love Vedic knowledge and culture the bhagavad-gita I consider to be the greatest book ever I love and study the Bhagavad Gita every week I have traveled and visited India three different times so you are lying and I don't like liars and Liars break our code we do the right thing is number two in the code and lying about me and saying something absolutely I have never not one time said I hated India you are liar quite the opposite I had amazing life experiences in India it was my first time to leave the United States fantastic and soon and I am a follower of sanatana-dharma so you don't know what the hell you're talking about Haseena with a nice comment you can't learn everything overnight right but you can try to learn new things every day little by little little by little every sunrise is a new chance for you to change yourself and your life late is better than never it is right it's better than that's a good point I'm glad you said that Hasina because in a here's another slang we say late bloomer late bloomer comes from a flower to bloom is when a flower opens right so a late bloomer for a flower is a flower that opens late maybe later in the spring maybe later in the summer of course it's a metaphor so for people what is a late bloomer it's someone who has happiness or success later in life later than normal I'm a late bloomer you know I became financially free I started my business at age 38 38 in America that's late most entrepreneurs start their business before age 38 not all but most I got married at age 38 it's a little late I have I have children at age 51 very late don't do that do it earlier but I'm happy very happy but it was you know it was not a good decision but so what's my choice should I cry about it should I cry that I waited too long should I cry that it happened later no Hasina's right if it's better than never it's better than ever having children younger probably would have been a better decision it is a better as a smarter decision but I didn't you know I was programmed I made mistakes it gets done I can't change it however I'm 51 and now I have two children two new babies and I'm very very very happy I'm not going to focus on regret why that's crazy at least it's better than never I'm very very happy and it's the same for you it doesn't matter your age now you're learning you're doing new things wonderful enjoy it now it doesn't matter if you're 60 it doesn't matter if you're 80 it doesn't matter if you're 30 or 20 it doesn't matter right we have this moment now so don't worry about the age the number just love life enjoy life now your past mistakes it's okay we all made mistakes we all were programmed just like your parents don't blame your parents for these things okay yeah they also had the programming right they didn't know they didn't know don't blame them don't be angry at them understand just understand and learn now do your best now that's the first code we have do your best do the best we can we do the best we can just now all right we're going long it's a long one today why not okay globert Cardozo says great indication AJ I have read the rational males first part cooking is a challenge that requires practice yeah and healthy cuisine even more important yes thanks for mentoring us these last year is much more than language coach your insightful podcast episodes empowered my life perspective and reality perception great thank you I hope the basic membership by effortless English comes soon even as you can sell again your business career program Oh fact that reminds me I'd have to do that god bless your family always Thank You glower that's really nice thank you yeah the business English course is coming again you just reminded me I forgot I'll have to send the files to my computer people we will resell that in the next few months this summer now I am planning to do some kind of like a membership for the podcast for this show too just to support the show it'll still be free if you want it free but if you want to help support the show we'll have some like cheap membership may be some small benefits like transcripts or something like that maybe some extra shows that are only for members that's the next project so first I want to do the business course again coming and then after that we'll look at a membership for supporters for this show and again like you can give me a suggestions what benefits should the members get Oh Cardo says I was kidding with her okay card oh sorry sometimes sometimes in text it's hard to no joking or sarcasm so my apologies card oh I didn't realize you were joking here's a here's the one way you can do it this is something I see online a lot if you're being sarcastic so being sarcastic in what is that it's a kind of humor right joking where you say the opposite of what you mean right you say the opposite and it's meant to be you're joking or you're make you're laughing at what you're saying so in when you when we do it speaking it's easy to understand because we change our tone like he says oh yeah AJ hates India he really hates it can you hear my tone changed so then it's obvious it's sarcasm it's a joke the problem is in writing in text it's dangerous to do sarcasm okay it's dangerous to do it on chat for this reason right I just got angry at Cardo I thought he was serious because in in writing there's no change in the tone there's no tone so I only just see the sentence AJ hates India you see this do you see the point so then it's like you know if I know Cardo if I know him personally then maybe I okay I know I know he's joking that's fine but since I don't know him personally then I just see it and I say oh why he's he's lying right I don't understand that it's a joke so sarcasm be careful with sarcasm in chats with text because it's very difficult to do it it's very easy for someone to think you're serious and to get it angry as we just saw now one way you can do it after you write something that's sarcastic you can put us line a slash right we call slash a vertical line and in the small letter S this is kind of a internet slang I'm going to type it in the comments small s equals sarcasm and what it does is so you can say you could type for example or type it right now AJ no I don't know what forget it I'll just say you could say AJ hates India and then at the end of the sentence you put the line and a little s Y well it's it's like changing your tone when you speak it means sarcasm the small s means sarcasm so it's telling everybody this is a joke actually it's the opposite AJ loves India right Tony Accardo sorry to get upset that's just I really like India as you know I'm really loved agita so my apologies for getting angry but this is it's a good example to show the danger of sarcasm online just put that little slash the line and little s and then we all know you're joking or or Dora here Dora says you have to say lo lol is also on although that one is less obvious for sarcasm but although it does work sometimes I think the little s is better because it really is saying I'm telling using it for sarcasm if you're joking put LOL but the little laugh emoji for sarcasm again sarcasm you say the opposite of what you mean put the little s / s so anyway Cardo you gave us a chance to learn something new passionate about that topic too I love India love it I know I know I realized I remember you're a top fan you've actually Cardo you've said some good stuff anyway no worries we're fine we're fine accept the apology please accept my apology and we're good you're not banned all right Sarah ones just giving advice about okay Eileen hello to you please say hi to me hi Eileen all right I think I'll give them one you visit Algeria sarcasm I have not been to our Algeria so you're getting the idea that's right the little sloshed yes all right couple more and then I gotta get let's see my baby's still sleeping wonderful you're being so good yes c-can dad can do a show and you okay I'm gonna go back in the comments a little bit see if there's any ones I missed okay Zeno sama with a good nice comment I believe you can get happiness by money but how you can help people with your money yeah this is a good point but it's not the money making you happy it's the generosity it's the kindness right because you can help people without money - so money again it's a tool it's a tool it's something we use right don't worship a tool just like a cell phone is a tool it's something we can use can you use it in a bad way of course you can and watch pornography you can do all kinds of stupid stuff on your phone or you can use it for good to talk to your someone you love talk to your mom on the phone right it's a tool it's so it's it's what's inside of us and how we use it that makes it happy or sad or bad or good or evil right and this you're exactly right with money so that's why we don't it's not the money that creates the happiness it's not the money that creates the sadness or evil it's how we use it how we see it or ideas about it so you're exactly right about that I'm not saying I'm not a monk okay I understand money's useful in life and we need some of course a bra if I bought a ticket to Okinawa which you find a moment to meet me but probably not Okinawa right now I'm so busy with the babies because you know I have a baby in the hospital I have a baby still in the hospital I can't leave Osaka so I if you came to Osaka I would find a way to have coffee or lunch with you but uh I can't Okinawa is too far I have to fly there I can't leave my baby in the hospital Sandor says how to buy friendship love caring health it isn't possible right somebody who's the richest in the world also not possible for him to get these things they just buying for appetite well said very well said that's and we know this by looking at rich people I mean they're happy rich people of course some rich people are happy but um we also know there are very unhappy rich people and why because they don't have these things that sound or said they don't have real friends a lot of rich people they have fake friends the friends just want their money real love caring health all of these things they can that you you don't have to you can't buy them right now you can be rich of course you can be rich and you can have good friends and real love and care and health and you can also be poor and have those things so again money is a tool it has its it can be used in a good way just like a hammer if you have a hammer you know hammer you can use a hammer to build a house you can use a hammer to kill somebody it's the hammer evil or is it good it's just a tool Cardo is asking what's the popular pronunciation for the for Ussery so American pronunciation is usery so it's got that zzzz it actually is like a Z sound that buzzing right not use you three with an s soft s is not American it's usery we have that we get that little for the proper pronunciation user e congratulations Russians on victory day says Tata excellent as that World War two Victory Day that's an interesting area of history I fascinated by that military history of actually both Russia and that I would say probably the most famous Russian campaigns Russian military history Napoleon and the German invasions it's quite a fascinating to me just for military history don't invade Russia it's a bad idea to invade Russia okay let's see I'm just reading through some of the past comments let me jump down to the bottom I think we're almost done see family requires a lot of sacrifice indeed here's a good comment and I'm sorry again a long time listener but it's in the I think I think it's the Dravidian script I'm not sure but it says my interest lies and doing well for people that makes me happier in a true sense there's there's a lot of wisdom in that there's a lot of reason that you know religions talk about helping people of course there's you know kind of a spiritual benefit to that there's also though just a psychological benefit a selfish benefit I see which is strange if you think about it it's it's it's it's it seems like it's not logical but but it's true that when you focus too much on only yourself oh this is my last one maybe is getting hungry when you focus too much on just yourself only right just me me me me me thinking of yourself all the time how can I be happy how can I be happy me me me haha what's the best life for me you need some of this of course you do need to do this some but if you do it too much if you only do this it's only me me me me me III always you become less happy you will be less happy you'll never find the answer because the answer is outside of you I mean the answer is in inside of you for meaning your your mindset your mind your virtue but the answer is also outside of you meaning you have to do good things in the outside world you have to contribute to other people you have to connect with other people love gratitude appreciation generosity that all involves others not only you so it's it's you know it's both right it's like we learned in the seven Habits book yes first you need that independence you've got to take care of yourself learn your skills learn self-discipline be proactive but then what happens next is you then have to take that all these good things about yourself and connect them with others socially you know family friends the world and that's where then the greater happiness comes right I mean for example this baby you know if I if I was only selfish just me me me well there's baby you know is causing me lots of effort and difficulty right I'm not getting as much sleep I'm getting less sleep I have less free time right I've got to take care of her all the time all right I've gotta change her dirty stinky diapers all of this stuff right it's not selfishly me but I'm happier I'm happier now with her helping her taking care of her and of course our other baby in the hospital then I was only just me like before I was married just single only me only thinking about myself all the time I was less happy I was more focused on myself but less happy and now I have my wife I have two babies I'm a lot of my time and a lot of my energy and a lot of my effort is for them and I'm happier because we all need something bigger we were part of something bigger I think eventually it goes to you know the idea that we're all you know created by God and part of something much much bigger and we only focus on just me me me III we're forgetting all of that and so we do find happiness connecting to and helping caring for others beyond just ourself we eventually have to go beyond ourselves yes take care of yourself of course this learn self-discipline learn your skills all these things of course of course of course yes but not only not only then you must go beyond yourself and that's where you really find I'm telling you from life experience I'm telling you from the wisdom of thousands of years of people much more wise than than I that this is important you must go beyond yourself okay guys I babies quiet but she's going to get hungry soon it's time for her to eat so I'm gonna go now as I said we will eventually have kind of like a supporter membership for the show where you could this will be kind of a cheaper membership just to help you support the show you know just so I can continue to do this especially because I think eventually YouTube will ban me Facebook I'm sure will ban me someday so I want to create a new website a new system we can host I can host my own videos not on YouTube not on Facebook and that you know so your support would help that so I will think of something it won't be expensive and tell me your ideas get on gab GA be calm gab calm follow me AJ Hoge aj h o GE follow me and tell me your suggestions like what Ben it's could the show supporters get I know transcripts as people suggest transcripts a lot that might be one maybe extra premium shows sometimes I don't know give me your ideas but another way to support effortless English support the show and more importantly improve your English speak English powerfully speak confidently speak effortlessly think in English is when you become a VIP member but not not just become a VIP member you've got to commit commit and don't quit you do that at effortless English club comm go there join commit don't quit today at effortless English club dot-com lots of love to you see you next time you

Channel: A.J. Hoge

Views: 220,306

Rating: 4.8772306 out of 5

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Id: 6NngPSUyLgw

Length: 109min 40sec (6580 seconds)

Published: Thu May 09 2019