How To Dream Bigger and Build the Life You Want

[Music] hey everyone and welcome to business boutique I'm Christie right and today we are talking about dreaming again now gonna tell you I love this idea of dreaming it comes naturally to me because I'm creative you'll know this I have a hundred ideas a minute but you know what I think we often underestimate how important dreaming is to our business to our entire life and even to our relationship with God now I've got to tell you when we're little like I was it's easy to dream we think oh my gosh like I can be a doctor a lawyer wouldn't play in the NBA I'm gonna do these big things I'm gonna accomplish big dreams but at some point life gets to us and disappointments get us down and practical people come into the picture giving you lots of practical advice like practical aunts and uncles and moms and dads and teachers and coaches telling you take the practical path and pursue something we're stable and pursue something that has a guaranteed path to success and in this process of becoming oh so practical our dream style we even forget how to dream we let those things collect dust we forget how to think big and dream big and consider the possibilities and think of things outside the box think of things that are unconventional and oh my gosh impractical but you know what it's not too late I don't care how old you are it's not too late to dream now I know that dreaming is hard let's go ahead and acknowledge that up front dreaming is hard it's vulnerable you're vulnerable because what if that dream doesn't come to life then you feel Cillian and you're worried about what other people think because they might feel sorry for you oh she really dreamt of that working out and it didn't they dreamt up getting that house and they didn't get it they dreamt of having a family that looked like this and and it didn't work out of course there's always the possibility of disappointment so you're vulnerable you also feel a little silly especially if you're dreaming big because I got to tell you we live in a world where this is not celebrated it is not encouraged its take the safe path that's take the the practical path so when you say you're gonna do something weird different big creative outside the box you're probably not gonna have a ton of people lining up high-fiving you telling you to go for it it can be a little scary because it's different because it's big maybe you think you're too old maybe you think it's too late maybe you think selfish oh man I've struggled with this y'all so often as women we think of our hearts desires as selfish well if we love it well if it's important well if we want it really really bad it must be selfish we've got to put someone else first we have to fulfill our responsibilities as if God created you for Legos and laundry and that's it oh no that's selfish I can't I can't I can't dream that it seems too good too good to be true I don't want to get my hopes up maybe you've been embarrassed before because you had a dream and it didn't work out and you feel let down maybe you think no one will care about your dream maybe you think your dream is too big maybe you think it's too impossible maybe you think God doesn't care about that dream maybe you think somehow God isn't heaven watching you and here you are with this dream and you're thinking this is selfish God doesn't care about it no one else cares about it so I just need to shove it into the back corner of my mind and forget about it that's why I'm so excited we're talking about this today because all of those things are things that can be overcome and not only can they should be overcome so that you can dream again believe it or not the Bible has a lot to say about dreaming I love Psalm 37:4 and I have this scripture at the bottom of every one of my personal emails that goes out and it says delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart now this doesn't mean that God is a genie in a bottle and you rub the genie tell them what you want you get what you want it doesn't mean that what it means is as you delight yourself in God he will actually plant his desires for you in your heart and then bonus he gives them to you isn't that amazing God has a lot to say about your desires about your dreams Jeremiah 29:11 I'm sure you've heard this before but it's worth repeating I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you a hope and a future hope dreams future big things good things are in store for you those are God's plans for your life you know oftentimes we think we're dreaming but we're really playing small we're thinking oh well I'd be fine if I just have this small little Etsy shop or I'd be fine if I just get this career you know this this entry-level position position or I'd be fine if I just made just this income level or I'd be fine if I got a house in just that neighborhood when you and I both know you are playing small you want bigger things for your life and I'm not saying that all your happiness and satisfaction life comes from money or neighborhoods or a certain family or a certain business you know that's not what I'm saying but the point is we play small we play it safe why because we want to have something in front of us that we know we can control contain make it happen we don't really need God that much it's it's more practical we we don't have that risk of not knowing how it's gonna work out so instead we play small but you know what I've never called you to live a small life and God does not give you small dreams if you look at Scripture some of the dreams he's given people some of the desires he's given people are massive and crazy and challenging and impossible that's kind of the whole point y'all the whole point is for you to have these dreams in your heart that you can't see how they're going to work out because why because God is going to stand in the gap God is going to show up between where you are today that seems absolutely impossible and where you're going to be where all you can do when you get to the other side is go God did that God did that I could not have done that God did that you know we want the miracles in our lives we look at scripture we look at people that have these amazing miracles miracles that happen but you know what needs to be true for a miracle to occur it needs to be impossible in between see we want the miracle but we want to see the path that a miracle that's just a plan you worked good for you we talked all about plans I loved plans I loved goals I loved time management I loved that and you need that to bring your dreams to life but that's not what we're talking about today today I'm challenging you to dream bigger it is not too late you are not too old I don't care how many times you've been let down or disappointed God wants to do a new thing in your life he might be resurrecting an old dream but you thought you let die that he wants to bring back to life or maybe he's gonna give you a new dream a dream that seems silly and impractical and not safe I want you to dream so big that if God's not in it you'll fail dream so big that you can't see the path that's kind of the whole point dream so big that you need God to show up and perform a miracle in your life for this to happen that's what has to happen for a miracle to occur now we're gonna talk about how to do this we're gonna talk about how to dream again and I'm gonna give you three practical steps to walk you through this process of dreaming and they seem common sense and obvious but we miss them and we don't do this so if you will do these three things it will help you dream again and it will help you learn this practice this habit of dreaming where it doesn't have to be a one-time thing it's something you begin to do in your life in your business in your relationship with God all the time so let's talk about these the first one is I want you to own it I want you to own it now here's that means it means you need to acknowledge it you need to accept that you want this thing and this is harder than it may seem you have to first acknowledge to yourself between you and God that you want this thing so what do you want what do you want what do you want for your life what do you want for your future what do you want for your children what do you want for your marriage what do you want for your finances what do you want for your business what do you want for your career what do you want for your health what do you want for your friendships what do you want for your faith life what do you want you've got to be able to dream again you've got to be able to own it some of you have been so defeated and so discouraged and so down-and-out that you don't want to let your self dream again you've tried so many diets that you will not let yourself dream again that you could be a healthy weight that you are proud of and be comfortable in your own skin in your own body because you've been disappointed what do you want some of you have had so many businesses fail you won't let yourself dream again but you could have a business that could succeed what do you want some of you have been so discouraged in your marriage because you feel like this is as good as it gets he's never gonna change I'm never gonna change we play our roles and this is as good as it gets what do you want what do you want for your marriage what do you want for your children for your teenager that you feel disconnected from what do you want you first have to own it it will not happen if you don't start by just acknowledging what you and your heart desire for your life and for the people that you love the most it starts with just acknowledging but y'all this is so hard to do we spend our entire lives and our entire thought process convincing ourselves we don't want those things I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine at this weight I'm fine single I'm fine in this career it's fine it's fine we don't need more than this it's fine I don't really need that I don't want that that's selfish I'll never get there that's for other people that's for someone that's prettier that's for someone more successful but that's not me see I've said this before to you guys but I want to remind you we place labels and limitations on ourselves and then we live within them but God is calling you outside of the box you put yourself and him in what do you want you first have to own it I love in Scripture where you see Jesus asking people again and again and again what they want ok let's just acknowledge this he is God and he knows what they want he knows every thought we think before we think it he knows what they want when a blind man comes and grabs his cloak and Jesus turns and says what do you want me to do for you what do you think he's doing there he knows what that man wants he wants to be healed he wants to see but Jesus first wants him to own it he wants to draw out that desire he wants that man to acknowledge and own what he wants and then trust him to provide it for him what do you want you know I spent so much time in my 20s my early 20s and late 20s convincing myself that I was fine single I was fine people would ask me are you J do you know - no but I'm so busy at work like so busy and I have like your farm and my friends and like a social life and really busy at church and I also like coaches soccer but I'll just rattle on about nothing trying to convince the other person and certainly myself that I was fine single what did I want what did someone to spend my life with I wanted someone to love me I wanted someone to pursue me but we do that don't we re rattle on about how fine we are all the time trying to convince others and ourselves that we don't want more but I know you want more because God created you don't want more because God wants to give you more so the first step is just simply to own it you're not kidding anyone when you try to convince yourself you don't want more and you're certainly not convincing your Creator that you don't want more start by owning it what do you want the second step and this is simple but scary I want you to say it out loud I want you to say it to someone what do you want I want to improve my marriage I want to lose weight I want to run a marathon I want to start a business I want to make more money I want to move into that neighborhood I want to send my kids to this school I want this type of future say it out loud here's what's so powerful about this when you say your dreams out loud they take on a life of their own they are now outside of the battlefield of your mind where you will have the voice of the enemy and voices of doubt and voices a fear trying to just beat them down all day until hopefully they die right you say them out loud they take on a life of their own they have more power you now have input from other people to help support you the ground begins to move beneath you and people rally themselves around you and your dream hey I can help you with that I know a great counselor I've got a graphic designer that can help you their business hey my kids are in this great program and they have a scholarship maybe that could work for you people begin to align themselves with your dream but first you have to say it out loud I know it's scary I know you feel silly I know it feels vulnerable and make sure you're saying it to the right people don't just blast off to complete strangers or someone maybe that you don't trust because they might unfortunately reinforce those doubts oh you shouldn't do that that's a bad idea it's not practical if you have someone that you love and someone that you trust someone that you would see as wise counsel someone that would believe in you especially someone that knows God and would speak life over you say it out loud as silly as it sounds out loud as vulnerable as it feels out loud say it out loud to someone that dream takes on more power when you say it out loud and then you have some more accountability to actually do something about it because someone knows that you want that thing it's taking on a life of its own the third step to dreaming again is to write it down and this is one more level of accountability and where this dream is now going to become even more tangible in the real world no longer is it just a conversation that maybe you and this other person might forget about you're gonna write it down on paper it's another step of taking it outside the battlefield of your mind where there is a war for your thoughts and you're putting it on paper it's tangible you can touch it you can see it you can hold it you can feel it you can show other people you can carry it around with you you can tape it to your mirror this dream is real and it's that thing you can point to and say god I'm trusting you with that god I'm giving that to you I don't know how this is gonna work out yet I don't know we will figure out the plan the tools the steps the resources the time management the schedule later but right now this thing is real now I know that dreaming is incredibly personal it's personal for you but it's also this amazing connection point communication point with you and your Creator I want to remind you god knit you together in your mother's womb he knows every thought you have before you even think it he is neither surprised nor intimidated nor overwhelmed at your heart's desires your heart's desires are not bad things they are not selfish things they are God things and you know what's so amazing our God delights in seeing his children come to him with a big bold faith and trust him for big bold things I love in Luke 1:45 where it says blessed is she that has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her but you have to believe you have to believe that he will fulfill his promises to you you have to believe and trust him for those dreams to have that blessing you know and share a personal example with you guys that is very personal but it's also this amazing season that I have been in where I have grown in my relationship with the Lord and I want to share it with you because I feel like the Lord has given me a word that not only taught me and challenged me and encouraged me but hopefully it will do the same for you regardless of where you are on your faith journey regardless of what your family looks like regardless of what your dreams are I feel like this truth is so important for all of us so months ago I was dreaming of growing my family and this is something where my husband and I we have two boys and we were dreaming of having a third and I just wanted to get to the place that I was great with either gender a boy or girl you can't control that despite what people and books and articles say you really can't control that and so I wanted to make sure before we move forward and praying about growing our family that this is something that we would be just as excited if we had a boy as if we could have a girl and you've seen all the families families that have ten girls or five boys or whatever like I believe that God knows exactly what your family's supposed to be and I always did rest in that so we got to this really good place where yes we'd be fine with either well then thankfully we found out we were pregnant we were expecting a baby in September and so from the time that we found out we were expecting a baby until we found out the gender which was several months I felt God take me through this season of drawing out my desire for a daughter and y'all it was excruciating because the more I wanted to insulate myself from that desire the more I wanted to pretend like that desire did not exist I'm fine I'm fine with a boy I'm fine I'm a great boy mom I'm an awesome boy mom I love being outdoors I love sports and hiking like I'm great with a boy God reminded me again and again how much I wanted a daughter there was one particular day in church where I remember standing there and I was worshiping and I was praying and I was thinking and I just was thinking about how much I would love to have a little girl and I stood there and I said but God I just have to guard my heart I just have to guard my heart that sounds so spiritual it sounds so mature we've heard that phrase guard your heart guard your heart guard your heart guard your heart I just don't want to get my hopes up and I don't want to be disappointed I've got a guard my heart and I felt the Lord speaks so clearly to me in that moment and he said this you never have to guard your heart with me you might guard your heart with other people but you never guard your heart with me I created your heart I know what to do with every single desire that you have and I know what to do with every broken peace when you're disappointed don't get your hopes up I'm the god of Hope get your hopes up you can bring those to me bring your dreams your desires your hopes to me because I promise you I can handle it y'all that day was transformational for me I didn't know that I was gonna have a daughter I just knew that I was allowed to want one I was allowed to dream and I trusted that on the other side had I found out that I was gonna have a son that God would know exactly how to lead me through that transition as well and wouldn't you know several weeks later I got the call from a nurse saying it's a girl and I bawled as I am right now I just bawled bawled my eyes out at the goodness of God at the faithfulness of God and we know it doesn't always work out that way we know it doesn't always work out that way God is not a genie I always trusted God knows what our family's supposed to be I always trusted our God is good all the time he is good he does good and he has good plans for us so even if my circumstances don't always work out how I want them to even if my dreams aren't always fulfilled exactly how I want them to be God is still good but the message is the same he wants you to dream he wants you to trust him he wants you to dream he wants you to trust him with the desires that he has given you because I promise you he can handle it don't get your hopes up he's the god of Hope get your hopes up sister it's time to dream again hey everyone and welcome to business boutique I'm Christie Wright and I'm so excited because today we are sharing with you another exclusive behind-the-scenes video training lesson from our business boutique Academy in today's lesson I share with you the key relationships that you need to win in business and in life this is important because relationships will be pivotal in your ability to get to where you want to go check out this week's lesson on the relationships you need to win hey everyone welcome back I'm so excited about this lesson because we are talking about four friends that you need to help you build your business you know several years ago I was in a small group with my good friend Annie F downs who many of you are probably familiar with from our business boutique events and from the business boutique podcast I remember sitting in this small group with her and she was talking about how vulnerable it is to speak on stage now I've spoken on stage and I know how hard this can be and she said that one trick she has is that every time she speaks she already has a friend waiting for her when she walks off stage and the friends job is one thing and one thing only to tell her what a great job she did I love this story because it shows that Annie knows what she needs to be successful it is scary on stage all and a lot of times you walk off and you're insecure thinking man no one laughed or they looked bored she knows how vulnerable it is to stand on stage and deliver a presentation and since then through hundreds of speaking events I can attest to how hard that can be it's really important to have someone cheer you on whenever you're done but it gave me an insight into something bigger than that she knows the relationships that she needs to be successful and it's really easy to overlook the value of key relationships to help you in any area of life but if you want to be successful in anything new you're working on you're going to need four types of friends to help you on your journey so let's talk about what these four friends are that you need so that you can seek them out if you don't already have them the first friend is the connected friend now you know this person when you guys meet up to grab coffee they know the barista the janitor and probably 10 people that come in while you're there they are the one who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone now this in my case is my friend Jenny Jenny has endless connections that have helped me through the years and that's exactly what your connected friend will do for you - their connections will open up a world of options they will open up resources to help you and open up opportunities for your idea or your project the moment that you speak your dream to your connected friend they'll say oh I have a graphic designer that can help you oh I know an accountant you know I've got a lawyer that can help you with your business setup I know someone who knows someone who knows someone who can help you that's what the connected friend does for you if you don't have a connected friend in your life I want you to find one and believe me when you find one you'll know because they know everyone now after your connected friend the second type of friend that you need in your business is the creative friend in my life this is actually me now you all know this I talk about this all the time I have no less than 100 ideas a day and the more ideas that I have the more that come to me and I love it when I coach clients that are stuck and I can shoot out five new ideas on the fly that might help them and even though I'm usually the creative friend to many people I also need friends to bounce ideas off of for example in my life ken Coleman and Chris Hogan have given me so many great ideas to help me make our business boutique event or any speaking event even better creative friends help make projects stand out they make your ideas more interesting and they make the whole process of building a business a lot more fun creative friends help make your project stand out they make your ideas more interesting and they make the whole process of building a business more fun they're gonna come up with solutions that you may not have thought of they'll help you overcome challenges that you might be stuck by and they have so many ideas that can help you in many different aspects of your business they can help you stand out from your competition in creative ways they can even help you build things like social media on a really practical level I love the quote by Maya Angelou where she says creativity can't be used up the more you use the more you have and that's what the creative friend will do for you they have no end to their ideas and they can help you with all of their creativity now the third type of friend that you need for your business is the cautious friend this is my husband Matt I love my husband Matt I love Matt you'll know I did a video with Matt if you watch the video training with Matt then you know that we're very different I am very creative he is very practical he's very cautious he is insanely and maddeningly detailed he drives me crazy the good kind of crazy and the bad kind of crazy and I need him like crazy and you're cautious friend is the one that makes sure that the creative friends ideas can actually happen they will shoot holes in your idea painful holes by the way but they help make your idea stronger so that it can actually work they also by the way save you from so many mistakes down the road that you may not have thought about or planned for not that I know anything about that but here's the thing with your cautious friend they help you think things through they help you follow through they help protect you against future mishaps and they make everything stronger in the process if you don't have a cautious friend in your life I want to challenge you to go find one now like me they will probably drive you crazy especially if you're like me and you're creative but this person can help you be successful it can be someone as practical as your CPA which is gonna help you pay your taxes to the IRS which is like you know kind of a big deal or it can be someone that helps you in an assistant role maybe you hire a virtual assistant and they're very very cautious and detailed and they think things through if you remember from our lesson on communication this would be the how person remember this we talked about while people the ideas people like me and then the how people how will we do this how much money will it take how will we follow through that's you're cautious friend cautious friends are so valuable in your business so if you don't have one I want to challenge you to find one you'll know it's them when they start asking you a lot of questions you've probably found you're cautious friend now the fourth friend that you need for your business team is the cheerleader friend this is the friend that Annie was talking about in our women's group they are the person that is gifted with words and they're generous with encouragement this is the friend that makes you like you can conquer your problems your messy house and the world all at the same time she is everyone's number one fan and she'll keep you motivated and encouraged and confident all along this scary process of putting yourself out there in business in my case this is my friend Ashley every time I talk to Ashley I leave feeling great about myself that's what Ashley does she builds people up she's always saying look at you look at how great you're doing look at how hard you're working look at what an impact that you're making even when you're discouraged or you have a setback talking to a friend like Ashley the cheerleader friend you leave believing in yourself again you leave believing in your dream again they help you refocus and stay encouraged along the way what I love about people like Ashley is that they use the gift of words to speak life over people in it's amazing impact that you can have when you speak life over people thank God for friends like Ashley if you don't have a cheerleader friend if you don't have that person in your life that builds you up and speaks life over you I want you to find it it's crucial not only in business but in life life can be hard business can be hard and as we all know people can be mean so you need those people around you that love you and speak truth over you and build you up now even if the only person that works in your business is technically you you still don't have to go it alone you'll actually be set up for success and reduce your stress and have a lot more fun if you have these four types of friends with you along the way you need the connected friend they know someone who knows someone who knows someone who can help you you need to create a friend because they have a lot of creative ideas that can help you in many aspects of your business you need the cautious friend I know it's hard but you do you need the cautious friend I need the cautious friend we all need the cautious friend to help us be better they're gonna help you avoid mistakes and make your ideas stronger and then lastly you need the cheerleader friend this is someone to pick you up and dust you off when things get hard and you get discouraged they're the ones that speak life over you and keep you going when things are hard alright so you may already have these friends in your life and they probably came to mind if you do however if you don't your action step for this lesson is to find those friends but I've got a great resource that's going to help you in the business boutique community you can actually reach out and find these people so I want you put a post in the business boutique community I'm looking for a fill-in-the-blank type of friend now hopefully you already have a couple of these friends so maybe you're just looking for the cautious friend you have avoided the detail type your whole life and now is time fine you would post in the business boutique community I'm looking for a cautious friend or if you need a cheerleader friend you would say that or if you need the connected friend you would say that use the business boutique community to post what you're looking for and then you could start to build these four key relationships today I'm so excited to have the business boutique community to bring you guys together there's power in women championing other women so your action step for this lesson is to reach out and find your four types of friends that you need for your business [Music] everyone and welcome to business boutique I'm so excited because today I get to share another awesome conversation with you and this is with someone that is so fun and you probably know who it is Bob Gough is a New York Times best selling author speaker and encourage or he's also just a really funny and really fun guy I'm so glad that I get to call him a friend and by the way he will be speaking at our business boutique conference coming up in a couple months and check out my conversation with Bob Bob thanks so much for being here hey you bet thanks for having me Christy I'm so excited about this I have been a fan of yours for a long time not just from your book from leaked reading love does then even back in the young life days you're a young life guy and that's how I met Jesus and I've been a volunteer for years and I'm highly connected to young life so I just feel like we are kindred spirits oh that that made you a hero status a long time ago but I just like the people with young life and they don't have a corner on it but they're sure good at plugging into people and just loving them without an agenda and that's when you know it's love when there's no agenda otherwise it's a program we don't need another program yeah that's right I love that well for anyone watching or listening that may not be familiar with what you do and who you are tell us tell us a little bit about yourself well I'm married to sweet Maria Gough and I have three awesome kids that's all you need to know about me that's the important stuff right the good stuff yeah I just nailed it everything else is just crumbs a recovering lawyer and then we do some stuff with kids in different places that are in difficult spots gotcha awesome well I know so many people are familiar with the the main thing that they probably remember right now which is love does they're just such a great book and then you're doing some really cool stuff right now with dreaming and helping people dream again and I'm so excited to talk to you about this because that's really the focus of this show today and like we were talking about even before we went live I think a lot of us start out you know as children with these big imaginations and we got big dreams and we want to do big things and then at some point we stop and we get practical and we get scared to dream so talk to us a little bit about this why do you think it might be hard as grown mature professional whatever adults why is it so hard to dream and tap into that inner child that we have well I think there's a bunch of return addresses for that sometimes we don't feel like we're worthy of having the dream like yeah you'd say like there might have been a past screw-up whether it was a big private one or a big public one until you said let those kind of robbed you of your dreams you defer you say it's well somebody else it's not for me sometimes this can be some limiting belief that you have them for those listening a limiting belief would be something that becomes like on a loop in your mind like if you grew up in a family where your parents split up you might have a limiting belief that I've actually loved somebody eventually they'll leave right and so if your relationships or you find going really shallow there might be something underlying that which is this idea you might leave and so it happens with their dreams they get hijacked sometimes by other people sometimes if you're hip to the Enneagram I I'm a 7d enthusiast you wouldn't have to know anything about it at 7:27 but if you're like a consensus-builder so something that might keep you from getting to your dreams is trying to get validation from everybody else like do you think that's a great idea do you think that's great it's not a bad idea but it's a it would be understanding do I want to let my dreams be held hostage by everybody else's opinions and so sevens we're little hallmarks of us is that we don't like sad things so we avoid that like the plague we also don't wait for permission we just in if you're a strong capable woman and listening to this don't you wait for permission from anybody particularly from a dude to just go be who God made you to be I mean all the gal the disciples were saying they never heard of Jesus and the Roosters going off and all the women I still serve as the Consul General for Uganda you know that crazy thing about that Uganda fired every male ambassador on earth and replaced him with women seriously yes yes guys have conversations women get it done even love does I'll give you an example we have ten people who work for me and they're all women and and because I just like that whole idea of somebody got this idea of empowerment like as if the guys have the power when I've done just get out of their way and just say like just you've got an ambition go after it so part of dreaming big is first like realizing for yourself that you actually have you've been around the Sun a couple times you've got some beautiful ambitions you'll know the ones that you've got and then just just go after them it's quit waiting for permission quit letting some of these limiting beliefs in the getting away just take the next step and that's the thing about steps like I'm a grandpa now which has been my ambitions since junior high school I hadn't even got out on a date but I knew that's what I wanted and so when this grandchild of mine takes their first step at one Uros old I'm not gonna say like well I've seen better no like it's our first step and and there's a great first it's a cry for 10 it says that God delights in watching the work begin I to just not despise the small beginnings and so I hope if you're a woman and you have this idea of starting a business or going after this ambition of yours there's your one way for permission you won't get wrapped around the axle with all the stuff in the past that's getting in the way at your future and they just take the next step don't take all the steps just the next one I love that okay so you brought up the Enneagram and I think this is a really interesting point do you think that there are certain personality styles that it's just easier for them it seems like from the outside otome Evans you guys just dream like no big deal but then you might have a six that is a little bit more fear-based going well what if it goes wrong and what if this doesn't work and what if I feel so for someone that maybe their natural wiring is not as optimistic and big dreamer how would you help someone like that that's just like that place feels so scary to them it fills outside their comfort zone like how would how would you help someone like that that it's really hard yeah the first thing I do is just encourage you like that we need you to be we need all of your you eNOS let's go pee like awesomely you because I think all together we make one really well-adjusted person but it takes all of us just being who've God made us to be remember that kids book Stone Soup where they just say put of the cauldron in the middle of the village and they said we're making Stone Soup and everybody just came in through in what they had and at the end of the day let turn the last page everybody's fed and so I would say for a person like a one on the intagram the hallmarks very detailed oriented so if you feel like I'm like always mired in the details I would say wonderfully so but let's also get something done so if you're spending all of your time preparing but you're never really ready then I would say that's not working to your advantage so I think you can prepare you can be enthusiastic like me but we don't need a bunch of red red bull doubt jacked-up people well we want people who know why they're doing what they're doing and if we have people that then know that where's that I love it okay so for someone like you that seems to dream a lot let's talk about the other end of the spectrum dreaming is easy for you you've got a million ideas a minute I relate to that I'm an eight but I'm an eight week seven and I have I'm the creative I'm an entrepreneur at heart and so I have so many ideas how do you know which dreams are the ones that you should really lean into they've got a fire you should act on them as you said it which ones are the ones that are just a fleeting idea that are kind of crazy and probably don't need to proceed yeah so first wave if you're listening take no short explanations we only have a little bit of time to get at this but I would say one of my ambitions one of the things I've dreamt about is to be an astronaut and so I'm sixty it ain't gonna happen unless SpaceX like duck Casey to the top of what are the route Rockets but I would say one of the things I would say viability like is it actually gonna work there's things I've another ambition is to learn how to fly a hot air balloon I'm actually taking lessons I'm two lessons away from getting my license what does that have to do with world peace or some of these other ambitions ending a war nothing but it has to do with this living and engaged life and so I would say one of the hallmarks of people that they get a lot done they're just engaged they want to know where nectar comes from in flowers they want to know like why bananas or berries and strawberries aren't there engaged in their faith or engaged in their family they're engaged in their friends they're actually situationally aware they know what's going on around them but they're not wrapped around the actual thinking their stuff is everybody else's stuff and so they don't get confused they know why they're doing what they're doing they figure out like what's on my plate in front of me and you can say what is actually viable in me being Iraq rocket scientists or a rocket astronaut is not going to be one of those things but I could get in a balloon ram or I could like get to know somebody who actually is does spacewalks right right so where do I find them go to Houston oh that's what I did I literally wanted to meet somebody who's gonna do that and then you just get to Houston and there they all are what's so fun about this choose because I feel like one of the things you're talking about is when you start to lean into it you see the ones that you can do maybe you can't be an astronaut but I'd be willing to bet there are a lot of women listening and watching that are thinking there's a lot of things they could do in your example the balloon but they're still missing out on that opportunity because it feels silly or impractical like I'll tell you about in my life I have done some weird things like I have taken Latin and ballroom dance lessons when I was like 23 just because I thought it sounded fun this is what dancing when the stars came out at the same time I hope I have gone cage diving with sharks and lived on a farm and and what people I say they're like you know people talk about doing these crazy things but you actually do em I'm like well why wouldn't you like if you want to do them and you can do them I wouldn't you do it but so many people don't Bob like so many people they either feel like it's silly or it's impractical or here's here's a common thing I hear and I would love to camp here for a second for some reason it feels selfish and I think a lot of moms feel this when they have family and responsibilities and you know we've got to do everything the right way well if I have this dream this this thing whatever this thing isn't it might be a business it might be something else you know taking ballroom dance lessons whatever it is there's something about it that feels selfish like I can't lean into this thing because it feels selfish can we just talk about that like where do you think that that again that narrative comes from it and why is it not true I think sometimes we tend to think in a binary fashion like zeros and ones like this is either wholly selfish or wholly you know altruistic for other people and and I think it could be a combination of many things to just say what are the beautiful ambitions that God's just placed uniquely in your heart and you just want to do it because it'd be just a lot of fun and then just say what are the things that are actually in your last and I spent a lot of time trying to do things that worked and I'd say one thing for me is I'm trying to do more thing that lasts like I'm gonna be a grandfather of many many children keep sending all my kids t-shirts that they make people that would be an ambition many grandchildren and I just want to be a really fun grandpa and you don't need a hot air balloon to do that but it doesn't hurt so one of the things that you could say what about ballroom dancing that hasn't come up on the radar for me but if that was important a sweet Maria I'd be like let's tango but so so sometimes it's just that idea of what's your role in this world I think it's many things it isn't just all of this or all of that and the beautiful thing that makes each of us you know a well-adjusted person is that we have many many interests there might be some that have a you know this fleeting kind of a temporary status and others that will be the things that people speak about you to eulogy and and I think it's the combination of all things it isn't all Twizzlers and at all it is and all broccoli it's many of the things to say what feeds your soul what lights you up and then what's good in it if faith is an important thing for you Matthew 25 I was hungry I was thirsty I was sick I was strange I was naked I was in jail so there's a go James talks about widows and orphans and so the things that we do like I just tried to do those things I teach a class at San Quentin I teach yeah it's a great class it's I teach these prisoners how to be clearer in their message that they get because if you've got a roommate in your in a six by nine foot cell in your roommate waits 270 that's an awesome time to have a clear message if you have victims of a crime that you committed it's a great time if you have a family you're separated from decades a parole board like I would say that I would ask this question of your listeners like what about you what's your message and it doesn't need to be a slogan it doesn't need to be a tagline but what are you actually saying to earth about what's your place in this and and I guess one of the things about you Christy and so many others in the blast radius that I've encountered is you're just saying it's possible and if you actually believe this isn't this cosmic download it's just it's possible look at your life yeah here you are and to say what might be possible with this life I've got you see like I don't know what if I got your silic well an imagination or not but if you got a friend they go like if they have an imagination if you don't have a friend with an imagination get one yeah that Starbucks so call me up like to say one of the things that I want to be available that was as easy as just putting my cell phone number in the back of two million books that's not very tell there's other ways to be available you could get a walkie-talkie today at Radio Shack hang it from a tree in the center of your town and then just carry the other end around and when somebody calls just answer it I know it sounds absurd what's the benefit of that it's just a carving this new little groove in your brain and then you want to go Grand Canyon on it want to create a new habit this new way that you see yourself I'm the person that's available and so when somebody calls me I don't see that as an interruption to the day I see that as part of my day and my friends they'll think it's rude they think it's actually beautiful because they don't know who's gonna call and what this whole idea of being available I got a call yesterday from a guy and he said I was gonna walk down the aisle with my fiancee and get married and I asked you five and a half years ago if you'd pray for us before we went down and and he said do you remember doing that and actually I didn't and I told him and he said well no matter my wife is in the hospital right now and I'm like oh heavens like what happened says she actually is in the hospital because a 21 year old girl in our church that she doesn't even know has liver cancer she's giving her half her liver today I just wanted you to know I'm like I just made me so glad to be available for that call and the call from somebody to say what's your favorite flavor ice cream like that you can decide it's not a tagline it's a life approach and what I've observed is no matter what number you are what personality type if you decide I'm going to be available within the context of how I process the world awesome things will happen if you're a small business woman just be available instead of say having a sign that says we're open just saying we're available and that a small change it's that quarter of a little twist that gives you a different perspective on who you are and how you fit into this thing I love this and so much of what you're talking about like let's use the walkie talkie example which is crazy Bob like let's just like hanging a walkie talkie from tree is crazy I love this here's what you have to do to be able to do something like that and be able to do a lot of what we're talking about to dream big to be available all these things you have to at some point let go of the obsession that I think a lot of people have about what other people think of me what would someone think of me if I hang a walkie-talkie from a tree what would someone think of me if I took astronaut class says hot-air-balloon class says ballroom dance lessons when cage diving with sharks fill in the blank start a business I can't tell you how many people don't act on their dreams because they are just worried about what other people think listen you seem to have just an immunity to this talk to teach us Bob how do I get over there all you're doing is really just confirming all their suspicions that's me like I'm certain they're nuts I I'm in gum cage diving with the budget sharks but I've been around a couple lawyers and one of the things I'm trying to do is take kind of a less aggressive approach towards the people arm around I'll give you an example like I'm licensed to practice law in like five or six states evidently and but while I'm capable of being a lawyer I felt like what I'm made to do is start schools it doesn't mean all the years as a trial lawyer were for naught but they were a preparation to do what I'm doing now and so think of your circumstance all the things have prepared you relationships that went great relationships it got wonky we see like a hole that we dug and God sees a foundation needs building and and to see these things is not the reasons you can't do it but actually the reasons that you actually have enough life experience to approach these and so you start things we've just started about schools in Afghanistan schools for little girls the Taliban will learn how to learn how to read and write and I'm liking that that's just lame to deny an entire generation of women I I'm not trying to turn him into Christians I just wanted to be able to choose if they have enough information to decide what their life was going to be life that would be a beautiful thing and so you just start you buy the ticket but here's the deal don't go across the ocean go across the street you won't find anything in the scriptures about going across oceans Paul got in a shipwreck and another guy got swallowed by whale don't worry about the whole ocean thing that but to say what's available right here in my community who's a friend that have kind of lost touch with I could make one phone call no agenda other than I'd like to find out the three things that inspire you what is it that really lights you up what is it that you're dreaming about and then ask yourself those questions don't go for the third question the first question like what's your name and you know the second question what do you do for a living but the third question like what are you dreaming about and if they had had that with you you'd say a number of things I mean like I'm dreaming of some things about for my family I'm thinking about things for some people into some other countries and so if we could be the ones that that that just think it a number of different levels what we're dreaming about those will guide the conversations that we're having I love it because it's so interesting how our experience can so easily mirror stories in the Bible that we could point to that we can read and see models and examples of this in Scripture but for some reason our situation feels different like it's so funny how you know God will ask me to do something that feels crazy and like oh I don't know this feels you know again impractical I don't know you look at exhibit like Noah like like people thought he was insane you didn't mean he's building an ark there's no rain like like you look at example after example in scripture where God calls someone to do something that seems crazy and just like you said it's preparation there's there's all these different examples of preparation when we have to trust in that and and then of course if we see how it makes sense in hindsight but at the time you're just walking on faith you're walking on water you're building an ark you're whatever the thing is and I think that's what dreaming feels like it feels scary and risky and and a little crazy at the time but it's amazing how God will come through in the end if we can walk through that in faith you know there's something to about realizing that you know he picks like these fishermen that never even get the nets on the right 50/50 jets and they didn't see that it's just qualifying themselves that they messed up yet again they thought they did just did what he said to do I love that been studying these miracles that Jesus did not just like you know wedding feast of Cana stuff but to say what was going on around that particular miracle and that first miracle Mary said to the maitre d there do whatever he tells you to do I would say that be great if faith is important to you I'd say do whatever God tells you to do if you want to know what tells you do Matthew 25 hungry people thirsty people sick people strange people naked people people in jail it's hard to find naked people it's easy to find people in jail and so find the people that are available and literally just drive around town with some burgers you have like what a burger don't you if I resent down in Texas I don't know you would but like feed people that's what chick-fil-a does like just like just give people what they need is there something I can do to be helpful all these calls that I get that's the question I ask I say how can I be helpful to you and it's not like they're ordering a coke and fries I'll just say is there something that I have that that I could use to help you along the way I think we have a mutual friend in al Andrews in Nashville and he's got this place called porters Cola I thought a porter was like a Sherpa they carried my latte machine up Everest but he explained to me very patiently that a porter in the Benedictine tradition is somebody who goes down to the gate every morning and greets people and says how can I help you on your way Kristi I think this is why you're doing the podcast you want to say how can I help you on your way with your small businesses how can I help you along your way with your marriages and your relationships I think that's when it gets really good so if we approach that that we're available to people to say is there something I can do something I got that will help you along the way then you know why you're doing what you're doing and then whether it works or not you knew why you were doing what you know I've had all kinds of things krater not working all but I knew why I was doing it and even trying to date Murray I knew I it's so it's so interesting I was just talking about this earlier but even you look at scripture like I think one of the things that we struggle with is owning our dreams like we we just pretend like we don't have any you know like as if that's the the right thing to do the holy thing to do oh I don't have any aspirations I don't have any dreams I'm just I'm fine with this and one of the examples I was giving earlier is if you look at scripture when someone came to Jesus he would always ask them what do you want me to do for you what do you want what are you dreaming about and you know usually guys there's something so important about that question where he's saying will you own it will you trust me with that thing that you want but you first have to acknowledge that you want and I think a lot of women have they're not just women this has meant to but we've got women listeners and women coming to business sweetie they have somehow pushed those dreams aside for so long they have buried them in the back of their mind to collect us for whatever reason all those reasons we covered in the beginning and and now they're trying to explore what would it look like to resurrect those dreams or dream new dreams and God saying what do you what do you want what do you want me to do for you and that question can be intimidating but it's also exciting because it could open up whole new doors like you and I are talking about I think I like underlined in italicized that you like what do you want like because it's easy to start channeling parents old boyfriends teachers other people but to say not what they wanted or what they thought the answer should be for you but what do you actually want and it takes a dollop of introspection a little bit of time to just chill out and not be stressed out if you're stressed out get a puppy like literally just chill out yes so but like but that whole idea to just chill out a little bit and then just say what do I actually really want you'd say well then what category so we'll wouldn't list list them what do you want your marriage what do you want in the relationships or most important to you what do you want to be some of your legacy what's going to outlast you what do you want in terms of the fears what do you want about reconcile things and how do you feel I wear a mood ring that is not awesome I've been where in this thing for like five years it changes color all the time and I got it for two bucks on Eva I don't get a mood ring haha and ladies if you're just dating a guy you know you're not married you got somebody if you actually are marry you're dating a guy that's a different conversation but but like if you have somebody give them a mood ring and did just say like I want to talk about your feelings too and if he says I'm actually not into feelings say like awesome down the road because one of the things is to surround yourself with people that are actually self-aware and they're asking these questions of themselves so that it feels like that is feels normative it doesn't feel weird to say what do you want that that is very normative to ask those questions and if if you don't have somebody that's speaking dreams around though you constantly I would find a couple additional friends you don't have to replace a bunch of gotcha them and find some people that are looking at the horizon and say I wonder what's over there and they show up to see if there's a green flash I've never seen one yet but I gotta believe it's there I'm just talking to one of my good friends yesterday and she was telling me about this idea she has for a business she's I mean we've been best friends for years and she's never had an interest in having a business or anything so this is a whole new conversation and she said you know here's what I'm thinking do you think this will work on so on and so of course I just sent her a video response back up here's why I think this is so great you'd be so great all these things and she will ask my friend this other friend here and she's in Knoxville and she said I asked this friend and she told me you know it definitely wouldn't work and like no one would buy from me I said who is this friend you need to defriend her like she this is this is not this is not a friend but I love that advice to surround yourself with people that speak life over you that will you know help to rally around your dreams and breathe life into those dreams even when you're not believing in the dream that they can carry you a little bit through that because we all need that and Bob I can tell you you are certainly that for millions of people which we are all so great before I'm a recipient one of the many but I would love it before we wrap up if you would tell us where people can connect with you and also maybe a little bit about what you're excited about speaking at business boutique we're so thrilled I've heard you speak at catalyst and many times so I'm so thrilled you're gonna be there the ladies are gonna just love it so tell us a little bit about what you're excited about and where people can connect with you or you know call you follow you all the things see what you're up to with the hot-air-balloon grandkids yeah if you just google Bob Gotham ever it's gonna be awesome yeah but one of the things I've been thinking about is this impact that we can leave behind by not only expressing our dreams ambitions other but to do the deep work that it we need to do is a seven if you would follow the intagram like going deep and like dealing with the sadness or some of the setbacks in our life that actually is not what we tend towards we want to I guess avoid that and stick with happy and balloons and all that and so I would say for me I'm just trying to deal with that I'm not trying to camp out there but I just go like I don't want to deal with some of those things so I can understand why am i doing what I'm doing is this a limiting but it was this little insecure Bobby golf what Bobby goth realized when he was super young is if I could just make people laugh and be happy I wouldn't have to deal with my own insecurities because I would be getting the feedback from them because they'd be smiling that I was okay I wasn't looking for validation that's like applause join the circus if you want that but but to just say I was looking for like the grins because then it would make me feel like they weren't watching me anymore and everybody who's okay and and so if you could just understand for yourself why am i doing what I'm doing I'm telling it it's it wasn't my thought but so many friends miles add calyx at it on-site that idea that she can only take people as far as you've gone yourself you want to go far in your business go on this inner journey to understand what is it that's driving this is it to get some validation from somebody else to say I'm a success or do you actually believe that you're here on earth and it's a success it's like a touchdown or a goal I'm not a sports guy but it's what you want right here you are so now what are you gonna do next and I just believe that heaven is leaning over the rails saying we want you to grow into the woman that God made you to be fully into that with all the picadillo xandrie bulls and failures and all that but to save this idea of a new creation like who is it that you're gonna be next I turned 60 a couple of weeks ago I bought a dirt bike and I've been learning how to jump it so far I've gone 30 feet but here's the deal the motorcycle only went 20 it's awesome but here's the deal I just got back on and that's gonna happen it's a relationship it's a business venture it's a whatever it was that you jumped big and you went right over the handlebars and I've just learned a little bit more I know like when to hit the gas and wind hit the brake and so sometimes we think of this idea of achievement is all all gas no brake and I would say I'd give that a quarter of a to us and say what if we have a little bit of both and I think to have enough brake that you can have some time at Starbucks make somebody else pay and to say can you tell me about three things that you're hoping for for me because I'm just feeling a little bit hopeless right now pause to say am i comparing myself to everybody else can comparisons a punk I would make you shout that into the screen right now it's steal your lunch money just keep your eyes on your own paper and just say who is it them becoming I'm a new creation tell me about that woman I'm turning into that I love that visual you just gave us not of you flying over the handlebars but the one before right right for that reason the idea of heaven leaning over the rails and what are they gonna do what are they gonna do next just the anticipation that heaven is for you not against you what is coming down the pike I love it Bob you are just a light in this world you're such a joy and just so much fun so I know everyone is so excited to have you at the event I'm thrilled and I know people are just gonna be so inspired by this content and by this lesson on dreaming there's something really special and you were quite an expert so thanks for taking some time out of your busy schedule to be here and teach us today thanks a million and I'll tell you Kristi I'm going to learn not to teach and I just being around the blast radius of people that are there women who have beautiful ambitions for their lives I think it's going to be a tree I'm knowing it alert a lot and run home to sweet Maria tell all about it Maria there's some nail polish I don't have my nails done right now Bob you can't see him but there's nail Posche that is mood nail polish and it changes color which I swear you don't it you got a letter no to try that out anyway Bob you're the best thanks for being here bye so long hey everyone and welcome to business boutique I'm Christie right and today I have some encouragement for you now gonna tell you guys a lot of what I teach and a lot of what I speak on are things that I have learned learned from mentors learned from books learned from life experiences and today's encouragement is no exception now one of the things that I have noticed in my life as a believer as a Christian is that so often we tend to want formulas for our faith right like we want a road map and we want to know okay a plus B equals C if I do this it will lead to this result and that's certainly there's a truth to that we live in a world where you reap what you sow right like there are consequences for your decisions there are results from your actions and that is absolutely true but here's what I've noticed is really challenging and difficult to grasp and understand God doesn't always do things that way right like like God is not formulaic in the sense that he is going to treat you exactly how he treats your friend exactly how he treats your co-worker exactly how he treats your spouse and if you both have the same situation it may lead to very different results well how is that like why is that does God choose to take someone a different way because he sees something they don't or maybe because he likes them more than you like like why is it that some people have a completely different experience in their faith walk you know I asked my mentor Eve Sarat who I just love she's a young life staff member and has just been a great friend of mine for years I asked her years ago how she would explain to nominations like how can we all love the same God and have such different ideas about how to love him legalism different theology different ways to practice your faith like how do you explain that when we're talking about the same God and she said well Christine look at Scripture when jesus healed the blind how did he do it gosh a lot of different ways well what happens is as believers when we have a certain experience with God we tend to get with other people that have that same experience and say this is the right way she said that's how you explain denominations all the Methodists all the Baptist all the Presbyterians all Episcopalians Catholics fill in the blank but don't we do that in life don't we see that our way must be the right way the only way if God did something in our life in a certain way then that must be the right way and what our natural inclination is is to make that a mandate for everyone around us well this is how you worship well this is how you hear from God well this is how you practice obedience well this is how you steward your money well this is how you steward your talents it's this way because God told me and this is how I've experienced it in my life but you know what I want to remind you today God is not only much bigger than that he's much more personal than that I'm reading a book right now that is absolutely unbelievable by Priscilla Shire and it's called discerning the voice of God some of you may have heard of this book one of the sections from a couple nights ago where I was reading talked about how personal God is and not only how he speaks to you but how he leads you she used a great example of a map let's say for example that you want to leave your house and get to a certain destination about 20 minutes across town well there are probably a lot of different paths to get there right you could take the interstate and in my case you could take Franklin Road you could take back roads like you could take multiple paths to get to the same destination what you'll find in your faith walk is that God will take people on different paths he will take people on different paths to get to the same destination some people he's taken 65 some people he's taken Franklin Road some people he's taken back roads and it's so easy to look at those other people go you're going the wrong way the better way is the interstate the better way are back roads it's so easy to pass judgment on other people in different experiences going a different route and not realize that God is taking them that way on purpose because he is personal your relationship with him is partial your path to where you're going is personal and I want to remind you it might be easy to say well different people go to different destinations that is true but I also love the quote by a friend that says God cares a lot more about who you're becoming than where you're going see we fixate on the destination we worry about who's getting where and win what the best route is to get there but God cares about the journey God cares about who you're becoming on the journey whether it's on the interstate or the back roads or somewhere in between so if you're seeing a friend or you're seeing a co-worker or you're seeing someone on social media going a different path maybe to even different destination don't be discouraged it doesn't mean that God has forgotten you it doesn't mean that God loves you less it doesn't mean that God does not have good plans for you all it means is that God is personal it's just like we were talking about in Jeremiah for I know the plans I have for you plans to prosper you and not harm you plans to give you a hope and a future he didn't say plans to take you on this exact same route that everyone else takes but the plans are good you can rest in the knowledge that your God is personal he sees you he loves you in his plans for you are good hey everyone and welcome to business boutique I'm so excited because today we are sharing with you another business boutique Academy video training lesson from our video training library today's lesson is all about what to do with your weaknesses we often talk about strengths but then we know we also have weaknesses what do we do with those how do we work around them how do we get help for those things well today's lesson will answer all of that and more check it out hey guys welcome back in this lesson we are talking about what to do with your weaknesses now as you know I want you to spend most of your time and your strengths but there are still a lot of things that have to be done that you might not be good at you're not good at everything and neither am i no one is so we've got to figure out what we're going to do for those areas that were weak so that's why in this lesson I want to walk you through several things you can do to help backfill for your weaknesses now I know when you're getting started in business you're doing everything yourself you're you're doing the startup you're doing the marketing you're doing the operations you're doing everything so it's easy to feel like you have to stay there I actually experienced this myself several years ago I decided that I wanted a real website for my blog so I decided you know how hard can it be you get a template you put some color some font some photos like it's not a big deal right like they basically build it for you well it wasn't long before I was sucked into the black hole of building a website the only thing is I'm not a graphic designer I'm not a web programmer and I had no idea what I was doing I spent hours and hours trying to decipher and figure out what widgets are and plugins and how to make these codes work and look good and it still looked ugly so after a complete weekend wasted trying to build a website something I wasn't good at and didn't know how to do I decided to get some help and so I want to do that for you in this lesson I want to teach you some different ideas and resources of what you can do with your weaknesses that's going to enable you to stay in your strengths and allow other people to stay in their strengths as well now over the years I have discovered many things that I'm not good at I'm not good at softball details and parallel parking just to name a few but I've also discovered some things that come naturally to me because I'm creative and outgoing and I'm extremely energetic things like public speaking or coaching we're teaching are effortless for me however learning the difference between what I'm good at and what I'm not good at didn't happen overnight you know I've discovered for many women the burnout happens not because they're doing too many things it's because they're doing the wrong things you you're going to be the most successful if you stay in your strengths but you're also going to have the most fun so I want you to find way to do more of what you love and less of what you don't love more of what you're good at and less of what you're not good at in our lesson in staying in your strengths I gave you a quick way to identify what your strengths are I told you to ask yourself the five e questions so let's recap what those are really quickly what do you enjoy what comes effortless to you what do others encourage in you where do you excel and what gives you energy your answers to those five questions will point you in the direction of your strengths and that's where I want you to spend the most of your time in your business but what about everything else what about all of the tasks that still have to be done that you don't enjoy that you don't excel at that are not effortless and that just plain drain your energy what do you do with those things you aren't good at everything as we know and I'm not either but here's the thing you have to still get those things done so what do you do with your weaknesses I want you to find ways to backfill for your weaknesses so here's how to get started first you need to face them now I know facing your weaknesses isn't always fun but it's actually a great step in building your business when you're aware of them you can find solutions for them I love what Romans 12-6 says it says God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well now while you can't do everything well you can do some things well and in areas that you are weak there are other people that are strong staying in your strengths and backfilling for your weaknesses will raise the level of excellence in your business it's also going to keep you energized for the long haul you know over the years I've discovered several options for getting these difficult things done and the best part is none of those options involve you having to do them yourself the first thing that you can do with areas that you're weak is you can actually barter for help so you could actually have someone barter services and help you in areas that you're weak and you help them in areas that you're strong so you might barter services or products for things that you want or need for your business you know this is kind of a crazy example but I experienced this years ago I wanted to take ballroom it's lessons now this was right out of college when Dancing with the Stars was all arranged and was such a big deal on a but you know what that sounds really fun like I'm gonna learn a Foxtrot and the Rumba and swing and the waltz and the tango like that sounds awesome so I signed up for dance lessons but was it long before I realized it's a very expensive hobby and since I was just out of college and not even making an entry-level salary I couldn't really afford this hobby but you know what I'd become great friends with my dance instructor he had a side business back then doing fitness coaching and he wanted to launch this new product well I knew marketing so it kind of worked out a deal with him I said how about this I will help you market your new project if you will continue to teach me dance lessons so our for our we did a trade he taught me dance lessons and I was able to help him market and launch his new project with Fitness here's what's so great about this it was a win-win he had a successful launch and I got to learn the foxtrot and the Rumba in the swing and have so much fun learning some dances now that may be a silly example but what can you barter in your business bartering is always an option you can save time and money by bartering now remember you have something to offer that other people need and other people have something to offer that you need so leverage that be sure to give yourself credit for the talents that you have and don't be afraid to offer them in exchange for the talents of other people so bartering is the first option of what you can do with the areas that you're weak now the second option is you can actually outsource now maybe you don't have a mutual friend that you can barter with you could always pay someone to do what you need now that's called outsourcing and it's a great way to get some stuff done now before you start objecting with all of your complaints about not having the money just hear me out I'm not recommending that you spend money you don't have I'm not recommending you take out loans you know I would never do that instead I want you to go make more money to pay for the thing that you're going to outsource so for example I spoke with someone recently who needed help with Texas let's say that you like her need a tax professional for your business which you do by the way but let's say you don't have the $500 or so it would cost to hire a CPA I want you to go out and find a way to earn five extra dollars doing your thing in order to pay for the accountant when you do this you stay in your strengths and you do what you love and you protect your business because you've hired a professional to do what they love and what they're good at again this is a win-win scenario so paying to have something outsourced especially those things that are really important for your business like Texas is money well spent now in addition to bartering and outsourcing the third option you have as a solution for your weaknesses is to automate you can automate some of the things that you spend time doing currently there are probably things that you do for your business that you don't want to and you don't have to for example other than a few spontaneous posts of family pictures I don't particularly enjoy keeping up with social media now if you use social media occasionally just for fun to scroll the internet memes and keep up with friends that's great but if your business like mine is built on social media then you have to maintain it consistently as a critical part of your operations now because social media is so important for my brand and my business and because my schedule is crazy and I can't trust myself to keep up with the frequency needed I just automate it every Monday I write and schedule all of my posts for the entire week then as the week goes on and I get busy writing or speaking or traveling or shooting videos like this one my social media upkeep doesn't suffer my post automatically posts several times a day and I don't even have to think about it or worry about it so what things in your business are taking up your time but they don't have to what can you automate how much time could you save if you programmed all of your social media in advance or maybe you preset your email marketing even if you can't automate something entirely you can save time and energy with the different apps and tools and resources out there there changing and improving every single day it just takes a quick internet search and you can find one that can work for you you can also ask other women what tools they use in their business as well that might be a great solution for you you can streamline everything from billing and invoicing to scheduling and record-keeping and when you systemize parts of your business that you're currently doing yourself you give yourself up this gift more time now another option for you is to delegate you can delegate some of the tasks you're currently doing yourself to someone else you might be able to have people around you that can help you in those areas for example I have countless memories of the cake shop where mom delegated tasks to me even when I was younger for example there is a type of border that you make on cakes I'm sure you've seen this if you've bought a cake they don't just ice the top and the sides they do a little border a little frame or edge and it's called a shell border it's a pretty simple thing to learn and I learned it at the age of nine or ten so mom would let me put shell borders on cakes I also remember making boards boxing cakes and blowing up balloons however I will tell you I couldn't really be trusted with the balloons because I would very frequently suck in the helium and then talk like a chipmunk so I couldn't really be trusted with that but here's the thing mom could delegate to me even as a child as business owners I know that we are control freaks no one loves our business like we do and no one can do it as well as we can but that's the problem we can't get out of the weeds of the day-to-day stuff and every dang detail of what's going on we won't even give up things we aren't good at and as a result growth slows and the business suffers now if you have some competent and trustworthy team members who can help you that's going to be the quickest way to take some things off your plate if you have employees you can entrust some of these tasks and details to them give them instructions and then without micromanaging them let them do it now if your team members are not competent and trustworthy then you've got a bigger problem on your hands anyway you can even reframe what you mean by employee like when I was a kid helping my mom you might have some cooperative competent kids at home so don't hesitate putting them to work filling boxes or sticking on labels you might be surprised to find that your kids actually enjoy doing some of those things that you need to get done especially if you give them a little money or ice cream or a special treat and here's a free bonus you actually help your kids by instilling confidence and work ethic I know a lot of adults who credit their work ethic to being in the family business as a young kid I know I certainly do now another option is to simply ask for now this is a little different than bartering or outsourcing or delegating you're just going to ask someone to help you now I know it can be hard to put your pride aside and ask for help but I promise you there are going to be people around you that want to help you now you might be surprised at how many people are willing to lend a hand when you need it in fact many people are honored when you approach them for help with something that they're really good at so just do it there might be some things you can take care of simply by asking someone for example as a part of my planned giving I give away a percentage of my time to coach small business owners for free now I also know a woman who lets people shadow her on the job for the day most people if they're able love to help someone a little earlier in their career or dream sometimes putting your pride aside can really pay off you know I have an experience that I remember from high school that really stuck with me around this whole idea of asking for help I was on the track team and my senior year my coach decided that he was gonna take our entire women's track team to a girl scout team-building day and so we go to this day we do all these ropes courses and trust falls and at the end of the day it was dark outside and we had one last activity so we were in this building and they asked us to line up single file and then they blindfolded us they asked us to put our right hand on the shoulder of the girl in front of us in line and then they led us outside they took us to a maze where we were separated and they put her hand on a rope now here was the objective they said you've got to follow the rope along the maze until you get out now we didn't know what the end would look like because we were blindfolded we had to feel the rope as we went it would go around trees but you just had to keep hanging on to that rope so they put all of our hands on the rope and they told us to start so we're all walking through I'm following the rope I can't see where I'm going none of the girls can but they kept saying if you need help just raise your hand if you need help we'll help you and of course me I'm seventeen with super-ego got something to prove I'm like oh absolutely not I am getting out of this maze and I am NOT asking you for help and I'm gonna get out first well then I hear someone Tiffany got out dang it I've gotta find the end of this may so I keep going following the rope following the rope I'm getting lost I'm getting turned around kit from way out the whole time they're saying if you help just write your and I'm like I'm not asking for help I can do this myself then I hear more and more names of girls getting out of the maze Rebecca got out Tanya got out Ashley got out what the heck is my problem how are they finding the end of this maze well eventually it was down to me and one other girl I thought okay this is embarrassing I cannot be last I guess I'll just ask for some help to get out of here so I raised my hand they come over and they said you're out that was the way out of the maze was to ask for help now that clearly stuck with me because I'm still talking about it years later but here's what it taught me pride really can get in our way sometimes sometimes you just need to set your pride aside and ask for help you never know what help is available to you all you have to do is ask as Oprah Winfrey says you get in life what you have the courage to ask for amen to that now the last option of what you can do with your weaknesses is maybe my favorite it's to simply ignore it that's right you can just ignore it there are going to be things that feel overwhelming or that you're not good at and you can just ignore them that's always an option there are so many things that we stress over really don't deserve our nerves maybe you didn't do something on your list that you wanted to do or you intended to do or you plan to do so what let's say for example you wanted to send Christmas cards to all of your customers but you didn't get around to it or maybe you wanted to decorate your booth at the crash fair so cute and perfect but it turned out really plain or maybe you wanted to put all new photos on your website of your products and the lighting turned out terrible and you had to use the old photos you didn't do something on your list that you wanted to do or intended to do or plan to do so what you didn't write Christmas cards because you were too busy fulfilling actual orders that's a good thing your booth at the craft fair looks simple but you know what people are seeing your products so get over it your plan for new photos on your website didn't turn out right so you have to use old ones let it go if something on your list is not turning out right or not work or just all-around stressing you out ask yourself if it has to be done I mean really has to be done other than paying taxes more often than not I bet it doesn't you can ignore it and move on to doing more of what you love so there you go there are several great options of what you can do with your weaknesses you can barter outsource automate delegate and ask for help and none of those involve you doing those things yourself and of course you could always ignore them so let's put this into practice I want you to list everything you have to do for your business and then I want you to circle all the tasks that fall within your strings or maybe there are things that only you can do for every item that isn't circled I want you to write out to the side what you're going to do with it are you going to automate it or outsource it or barter or ask for help or maybe even ignore it if you're going to involve someone else to help you write the name of that person and then you've got a list of things for you to do and things for other people to help you with that's the action item for this lesson I want you to write out your to-do list and then separate your strengths from your weaknesses and write out next to your weaknesses what you're going to do with them when you apply this to your business you can do more of what you love and less of what you do thanks so much for watching and don't forget to subscribe to my youtube channel and if you want to get more training lessons just like this one well you don't want to miss joining my business boutique Academy the next time it opens you can join our waitlist and find out more information by clicking the link below

Channel: The Christy Wright Show

Views: 17,220

Keywords: christy wright, life, encouragement, business, leadership, How To Dream Bigger and Build the Life You Want

Id: rcRvmgu6WpI

Length: 85min 5sec (5105 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 20 2019