How to DEFEAT Your BOSS Every Time (Robert Greene w/Brad Carr)

[Music] there's a whole literature about what we call the psychotic boss um we've all dealt with that i've had to it's the boss where nothing you can do quite will ever please them they're very difficult and it's a really awful situation and then there are gradations where there's the less than psychotic boss but they're he or she's just just an a-hole and they're just really hard to deal with you know yeah we've all been through that well okay so what i'm talking about and what you're referencing is um you have to realize the worst thing is to take everything personally and get emotional so people who are psychotic bosses their power is in grabbing your emotions and entangling you in in in a drama they're better at it they're more aggressive they're nastier they're more difficult they're more amoral than you are you're never going to win playing to their strengths they thrive on on making you emotional so you have to learn in general in life to stop taking things so emotionally now it's not everything i do want you to fall in love and have a family and love your children etc but in the work world it pays to cool things down and to not real to realize that it is never personal so when you're facing this person this boss um your tendency is to think is to take it personally to think their anger and their um difficultness and their aggression is directed at you that there's something about you they don't like whatever definitely this this other guy he he felt like uh like a person was trying to try to pick on him yeah okay yeah okay yeah um oh all right um it's never about you personally never hardly ever people who are like this i go into the in the book i delve deeply into their psychology i give you numerous ways for understanding them but the gist of it is is they're reenacting dramas from their own troubled childhood they have terrible issues they're reliving things from their horrible father or their mean narcissistic mother or whatever it was generally from very early in childhood maybe a little bit later and you're the target they're just simply replaying their old dramas with new actors it's not personal it has nothing to do with you don't take it personally see them for what they are understand um that they are twisted people with some kind of issues and i i talk about what these various issues are i i go into it in all the different types of horrible people that there are in this world and there are good many types of them from the passive aggressive to the the narcissist uh to the control freak to all those types you know knowledge will will liberate you knowing that this is what is motivating them all right now i have options i don't have to react i don't have to get emotional i can retreat i can withdraw i can play certain games on them that'll in if you want to infuriate them and imbalance them so they'll leave you alone you have more than enough material to do that you have deterrent strategies from deterring them from being aggressive you have options when you have knowledge the other thing is you cut them down to size you see them as the little child stomping their feet in the war book uh having to read uh joseph stalin is sort of my quintessence of the awful psychotic boss there's nobody worse in history than joseph stalin imagine you have a boss that if you anger you're sent to the gulag and you're going to die so you have a boss that is holding life and death over you he's terrible he's horrible i talk in war about the the great russian composer shaw stakovic who suddenly is meeting face to face with stalin he's so intimidating he's got this look where he's just like people were like i'm so serious people would literally in their pants when he looked them at this certain way because he knew he he looked him that way they're going to go dead they're going to the gulag they're going to die yeah life is on the line life is on the line he gave that look to shostakovich basically this other person that was in the meeting was saying uh stalin was was upset because this was a meeting about um who was going to compose the new national anthem for the soviet union after world war ii and shostakovich had written something and cochiturian or something and stalin was critiquing these people and this one and he was critiquing this one man's orchestration and the man said well you know what i actually didn't orchestrate it this other guy did and shostakovich was realizing he just signed the death warrant for that young man who did the orchestration by saying that he did the faulty orchestration it literally was going to mean that so shostakovich in a in a flash realized that it didn't fall for stalin's intimidation game he saw him as a little child as a six-year-old boy with a philandering father and a mother who beat him in an awful childhood and he cut him down the size i'm not intimidated by this man he does not intimidate me and in that moment he had presence of mind and he said oh such and such your orchestrator is a very fine orchestrator you shouldn't blame him um you know you should do your own orchestration from now on he sort of saved the situation but the mental process was he cut this person down the size he didn't fall for the myth he saw them as a human being with temper tantrums with issues etc when you fall for the myth when you start real thinking that they're greater than they are when you start trembling when your bowels start moving from fear you're in their grasp when you're reasonably calm you maintain your presence of mind you see them as a little baby that's throwing a tantrum or whatever it is you've got some control and you have options if we're talking about strategy the number one strategic principle that i say is the most important of all is the person who has options has more options is the one who will win in a competitive situation if you only have one option you're generally under the control of your opponent but if you create a situation where you're there and you can go here here here or here that means you can react in the moment and you can take the path that might be the best for that situation you always want options and when you get emotional when you react when you get caught in their drama you have only one option anger um you're you start repeating in your mind the same thing over and over and over again you've lost you've already lost when you're calm and you can you can not say anything you can quit you can be a toady for a few moments but not really feel like you're that's who you are all right you can choose you're in control and that boss is not in control because you have options you

Channel: Brad Carr

Views: 36,854

Keywords: strategy, brad carr, 48 laws of power, power, work, bad boss, boss, job, career, workplace, great resignation, bosses, robert greene 2022, psychotic boss, How to DEFEAT Your BOSS Every Time, defeat your boss

Id: vZ7ZTyDhifQ

Length: 8min 14sec (494 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 17 2022