How To Deeply Connect With People And Grow a Powerful Network With Keith Ferrazzi

but what I can say is that if you just share your passion or you share your your vulnerability that in and of itself is your connection that's the ultimate human connection hi everyone and welcome to another episode of the mind valley podcast today's topic is networking now if you've been following me for a while you know how big a believer I am on the power of creating deep rich human connections in your life I have spoke about this widely I have started festivals I've started regular monthly dinner parties in cities like LA and New York just because I sold value people around me now the funny thing about human connection is this mine Bali is a health and wellness company we're a mindfulness company we're about living your best life but in study after study after study after study it is not just learning a new exercise routine or meditating that creates this huge elevations in your quality of life and your happiness but it's the people around you take this for example The Hobbit very happy people study by Edina this study showed that there was only one thing that correlated with human happiness it wasn't great clothing of warm weather it was the strength of your human connections and it was a point-seven correlation and then they were the blue zone studies and in those studies you know there was something really interesting that was published they said that countries or cities rather like Sardinia Okinawa where people live to a hundred at around ten times the rate of regular Americans they observed these things about how these cultures work and one of the things to observe this low to moderate alcohol and I thought this was kind of curious because I love look I love a glass of red wine every now and then but how could tell qahal wine be increasing Osaka in Japan the increasing longevity and so I texted I literally got an introduction to one of the scientists behind the study I texted him and he said you know the alcohol thing it's just a correlation really it's the fact that when we are drinking wine when were drinking sake what are we doing we're socializing with other people and so what are you looking at increasing your lifespan are you looking at increasing your happiness it's about the people around you which is why mine Valley we decided this week in our last strategy meeting that we're gonna stand for community as much as we stand for education we are literally now building a new app to create community an app to help connect people with the right people in their network with learning buddies with allies with people who can help you grow and whatever it is you're studying because again if you think about universities right it's about the classroom but it's also about the campus community matters and as we step into this new evolution of our company we're community and and being real and authentic and connecting with people become so critical I wanted to bring you the number one mind in the world in the topic of networking his name is Keith Ferrazzi and he is this week's teacher featured teacher online valley teach new networking program astronaut then tech networking launches online valley this month it is such a powerful program and it's inspired by many of the ideas in in Keith's best-selling books including the book never eat alone which has inspired so many people I know to to literally change their lives to put human connection first including myself and so if you're wondering how to close the gap between where you are right now and your dreams and to do it in a way where life just seems alive and radiant you want to be following this man so let's bring on and give a big welcome to keep varasi Keith how are you I'm great what an intimidating and glorious introduction thank you very much vision thank you thank you well you know I gotta say Keith your book never eat alone GameChanger and i also want to also want to thank you keith for the impact your ideas had in my life I mean I've shared these stories with you how I started a that's my festival so I could have people come and travel with me I started mine Valley University so when I moved to Ann you city people I have a network around me I do my dinner parties in LA which if you've attended three or four of them again because of networking and I learnt the importance of this from you and one of the most interesting things about you is that and I'd love to dive a little bit deeper into this is you actually have three people maintaining your network which I believe is around 10,000 names at this point well it's detects you a lot more than that but that said you know first of all I want to thank you I'm I've really fallen in love with the mine valley community and the people that I've met there have become important parts of my life so mission I appreciate the mission and the work that you do and the people that you cultivate I've actually been really blessed I live my life in my passion and helping people understand how relationships in collaboration can transform not just you but transform the world and to that end you know folks like yourself have comment on that there's a lot of organizations that I've coached and supported in how to transform their mission leveraging effectively the relationships and the collaborative effort of those relationships to achieve unbounded joy and success I mean you were talking a lot about the the mind valley mission of joy success happiness etc but I have to say that this also turns around businesses I mean this is a tough time right now vision there are so many people in the world that are underemployed or unemployed and I can promise you that if you are not achieving what you wanted to achieve in this struggling and difficult time there is a very clear perhaps only one clear pathway from where you are today and where you dream of being and it and the answer is not where am I going or what do I need to do but the answer is who who is on that pathway to achieving everything that you want to achieve I mean mission you know you know me I was a poor kid in Pittsburgh and I didn't have nepotism meaning I didn't have folks that could open doors for me they couldn't get me the good jobs for me I had to create my own nepotism you know nepotism is nothing more than people in your life that care for you deeply and are there to support you and open doors and create opportunity right but you can create that for yourself you can have all of the access that you are looking at other people in saying boy I wish I had that but you can and through that you can achieve your mission and you've certainly gone really far I mean keep an eye the audience at this point know your bio because you've been all of a MindValley this week but one of the most fascinating things about you is that you become you became the youngest CMO in the fortune 500 am I correct I did it was a really ridiculously stupid age it was in my 20s so the simple answer is this again um there was a there was a gentleman who was the CEO of the company and I happened to meet him briefly at a cocktail event and I asked him a simple question I said Pat what do you want your legacy to be as you would leave and exist Deloitte the weight consultant okay so what do you want your legacy to be as you exit being CEO of this companies you look back in your later years what did you want to have left here and he said someday I want I went Deloitte to be at par with McKinsey and extension was called Anderson consulting at the time and and I recognized that what he was asking for was a roadmap for how to build the brand and put the prominence in the eminence we were at the lowest of the eight firms at the time and I basically just took the I said that's that's amazing sir thank you and I went back to a professor of mine at Harvard and I asked if I could do a course on marketing but focus only on professional services I identified who the chief marketing officer of McKinsey was a guy named Bill Matta took Madisonian identified who the chief marketing officer of Accenture was a guy named Jim Murphy I called both of them and I said gentlemen I'm just a kid I've been in consulting I was working at de Leite this summer I want to do a study on the world-class best practices of marketing in professional services and I'll give you the study I'm interviewing all of your peers I just want to know what's out there and they thought it was so cute and clever right and they didn't even have any intimidation the fact that I worked at Deloitte and I was a child it didn't matter so I did this study and I presented it to Paulo Kanto right he didn't remember meeting me I said sir do you remember I had asked you a question about what you want your legacy to be and and with that he looked at this thing and he basically gasped and he invited me down to New York to spend dinner with him and at that point he said to me Keith he said we need you in this firm I had only been a summer intern he said we need you in this firm we want you to come into this firm Wow I said sir I'll do it under one condition for the remainder of time that I'm here I want two dinners with just you and me you don't get that with a CEO I because I knew what was important was the relationship hmm right it wasn't about whether or not Deloitte was prestigious or not at the time it wasn't about whether or not my salary although I did ask for more money and he said no but it wasn't about the salary it was really about the connection to power and with that connection to power I was able to serve and be generous which is what I started off being extraordinarily generous right I was extraordinarily generous to him nobody else had done that none of his partners had done that I became the youngest elected partner in the firm in the history of the firm and I was the chief marketing officer of this worldwide global organization before I was 30 this this is such an amazing story and and firstly like kudos to you Keith as a 20 year old that takes a lot of hood spot but how what a beautiful idea and a beautiful concept can I just tell you it doesn't it doesn't about tell you what it is um so I mean kids getting even emotional my old man was my old man was a very poor immigrant steel worker from Pittsburgh for Italian and he busted his ass back in the 70s to make sure that his son had a good education to make sure that his son had potential he used to show me his hands and say Keith don't you have to work this hard you can you could never get them cleaning when you scrubbed them with gasoline and and and I just had to fulfill that wish and I had that in me that I did not want all of his work and my mother had to be a cleaning lady she hated doing that just to you know make a little extra money to afford the school uniform which we couldn't afford I mean I had I had something that I needed to achieve not just for myself um and then but the point is this even when I was in fifth grade I knew that nobody I knew had gone to college and I asked my my best friend from school whose dad was a lawyer I as name was George I asked George if if I could meet his dad all right because I didn't even know what it was like to meet somebody who who went to work outside of the steel factory or digging ditches which my dad dad did both and I i sat I remember I literally it's so vivid I remember sitting in mr. loves library his name was George love mr. loves library and asking him what does it take and I don't remember the advice per se but I remember that he took me under his wing at that point in time and he even came down and had dinner at our family's home which is this poor little house out in the woods so you know you could say that it tapes good spy guess it does but it takes a mission you know at that early stage I didn't know what my mission was my mission was just to help people not be as struggling as we were we were unemployed a lot and the industry around us was crumbling and I just had made a commitment that I would grow up someday and make a difference in people's and people's lives who worked that was what I wanted to do I didn't know what that meant and and what didn't what you've been able to pull off is amazing and I'm looking at the books behind you right and there is leading without that's leading without Authority there's never eat alone and let me just and then there is who's got your back all your books are about one's relationship with other people what what caused that spark in you what made you decide to explore that area so deeply n and and you are currently the modern Dale Carnegie and what I mean by that is that one of the best-selling books of all time 50 years ago was how to win friends and influence people I remember reading that book eight times before my 18th birthday me too right yeah my father my father opened that book up to me as well and it was a huge influence and um people do say you're the modern master in that genre but how did he get it how did you step into that field well like I said it was really just a very simple idea which is it worked it worked it got me out of poverty it got me to be the the number one speaker in the United States when I was in high school in in forensics it got me access and got me into Yale University and when I was at Yale at it networked me with Bart Giamatti the president of Yale University who took me under his wing and introduced me to the corridors of power that I couldn't even possibly imagine it got me in societies and clubs at Yale that I would not have ever been able to access based on economic I'm so curious than that one can we hear some of those stories about the bar design societies and clubs in Yale how you connected with Giamatti you know look at Yale University there's a lot of people people have seen the movies about secret societies at Yale universities have about 12 members and each member taps another individual to rise up from the junior to the senior year into that secret society and that is that subotica you under their wing and deciding that you're the right person for fill in the names of the some of the secret society but what was most interesting is once I got into the secret society what I realized was it was just about vulnerability it was so amazing it you there's all these crazy stories about what these things are like it none of them are true um but what it is is it's a bunch of kids in our senior year vulnerable sharing so please stories and truths about ourselves that we've never shared with anybody else and the intention is to be fully open so that you can deeply bond with and with a set of humans in a fully transparent fashion and it's not you know deaf it you know nefarious at all its literally about the most intimate it's about MindValley on steroids over an evening you go so deep there are so many tears there's so much revealing and vulnerability but you what it's teaching you is how powerful it is to fully trust and how possible it is to fully trust and it was it was what I learned there actually in that room there's a couple of rooms at at Yale that were most powerful to me one was what I learned in the secret societies about vulnerability and authenticity and Trust and full openness and the second thing was a class that I took at Yale School of organization and management which is Yale's business school and it was focused on the idea of what was called a T group at the time they put myself and another white man in the room together along with eight other individuals all people of color gay and lesbian individuals that were of various races creed sex sexuality etc but there's only eight of us and what we would do is we would read something every week that was a bit provocative or incendiary and we would come in and we would say exactly what we were thinking in the room together and we would learn what it's like to be in relationship and in conversation with people that were other and not like us and and how we triggered and of course the the the the conversation was crazily rich and very vulnerable and angry and all of those things and I learned what it was like to navigate those dialogues so you take those two experiences right and you spin way ahead and what do I do today what I do today is I coach the most powerful executive teams in the world to transform their come nice so my job is to save jobs my job is to grow companies I work with the most powerful well-respected brands and companies in the world helping them be able to secure their success right so they can employ more people and serve their customers and everything I learned was all from those early days and what's most important is it's all about people dammit it's all about people I mean I literally there are companies today who are at the middle of the pack and heading down because there are two individuals inside of the organization that have resentment toward each other Wow really I mean I literally have seen the head of sales in the head of marketing have resentment toward each other or the head of sales in the head of solutions or product however resentment toward each other that is born from their own right and my job is to turn that relationship around and what I teach you in our quest as you know is whether the relationship is a currently a negative relationship whether it's somebody you don't know but only dream and aspire to know or whether it's somebody you've not had the courage or didn't have the recognition that you need to move that individual from an acquaintance to a true lifeline partner what I would i teach people is that there is a new philosophy of relationships and I even had to create a word for it the people in relationship need to be Co elevating I hate like any relationship you had to be Co elevating going higher together and what I teach individuals whether it's the most powerful individuals in the world or or one of your listeners here I want to teach you to be able to embrace the people around you or the people you don't even you couldn't even imagine or dream of having around you and create the kind of a set of relationships that that allow you to fulfill your and their mission in parallel you're in their mission in parallel to Co elevate and I get goosebumps when I talk about it because I have seen it as the special sauce and by the way you know I have helped the presidential you know this I've helped presidential candidates you know I I don't want to be partisan but there's two candidates that I respected great one of them one and one of them did not and I helped both of those individuals understand how to organize their relationships and network to achieve the kind of success that they needed and one made the presidency amazing amazing that's really really really that that's that that's quite a remarkable story Keith and and you know just for the public who's listening I've brought Keith in to advise me as a leader as a CEO of a company we have around 300 people right now and so like honestly managing those relationships can get really really really complex and the idea of Co elevation is such a powerful idea and recently Keith got in a zoom call with my entire executive team and coached us for two hours through a methodology to deeply connect with each other and it's amazing how much more efficient you can perform when you build that that bridge between people but in addition to companies and and again if you happen to be a CEO and if you're listening to this podcast go check out Keith's consultancy at Ferrazzi greenlight comm keep would that be the best website to send people yeah I think or even just started keep Faraz e.com because what we've started to do double R and a double Z Oh Keith and I have to say mission let me just thank you I knew that my serving the upper echelon of society and the world in business was not it what was absolutely the fullest of my desire when I was a child I wanted to save jobs I wanted to create jobs and we served the World Bank we helped the World Bank negotiate relationships with the most powerful countries in the world so that the World Bank can eradicate poverty right I mean I kind of want to just swear I'm so excited about it it's like it's amazing but what I really wanted to also do is other than my books I wanted to be able to provide a vehicle to be present and to be the coach of a lot more people and you open that door to me vision and you've opened the opportunity for me to think about how I can serve individuals right and it's through our Quest's together and some of the more senior things that I'm creating you know in at Keith Ferrazzi comm I'm trying to create mechanisms so that I can serve the individual and be your coach that's and and that's and thank you vision if it wasn't for you and let me just say this you and I become Co elevating you know I know you've got a lot of people in your life but I truly love you vision you're an extraordinary man I love your mission and I love your tribe and you've given me so much and so as a result I have really worked hard to give you so much I remember the first dinner by the way that you and I met it was in New York City and I remember you were quite occupied your family there the kids were there etc right and there was a young man sitting there who was responsible for your University and it's very important for people to know this when you're in proximation with people of power that have brands that are that that are busy and perhaps even outside of your reach an individual themself may not be the right individual to build the relationship with is it there's a part of our quest where I talk about how you connect to connectors and manage the gatekeeper so as I was sitting there and visions juggling his children and in his wife at the time we're having a dialogue about different things and and there was a whole table of people that he was curating I knew that trying to get visions attention first of all trying to get visions attention in general he's bitter but I knew trying to get visions attention was not going to be a place that I could be of most service he wasn't going to land that right so I looked around the table and I realized there was a young man there whose job was to bring content into and create community for mine valley and so I sat right next to him I almost ignored Bishop not not out of rudeness etc but it was not relevant what was relevant is that by coaching this young man and helping him think about how he could reconsider deepening the community mind Ali I focused on that young man because I knew that I could serve a MindValley and by serving mine Valley my brand would elevate in the in the world of mine Valley and by by serving that man and offering everything for free offering everything just generously and following up and giving you more advice by through that act I got on visions radar so I want people to recognize ambition probably I've never even told you that story right right but it's not even about trying to scrape and grab for time from somebody that you don't think has time for you it's about being thoughtful it's about being thoughtful of how do I help lift this man and I knew it that night I was not going to be given the permission to lift this man directly my job to lift mine Valley was going to be through the individual whose job was to build community amazing and and I remember what happened next Keith ended up speaking at a fest we were so blown away by by not just his talk but by the essence of your being that I knew I wanted to make you one of our mind valley authors but there's one more thing Keith that I remember from that dinner and those of you listening I want you to pay attention to this Keith's program and mine Valley is not called mastering networking it's called mastering authentic networking now I remember in that dinner there were different groups there there was the mind valley group they were group sprung that co-working space the assemblage there were technology leaders there like like like a mutual friends but you made everybody share something varner about an authentic and you asked me you asked me an open question and it actually kind of shocked me because we barely knew each other and you asked me to talk about what's really bothering me what is my I can't remember the exact words what are you babbling what are you struggling with right and I lied because what I was really struggling with I wasn't ready to share right with people I just met so I lied and you called me out in that lie you pointed out like I can't remember what you exactly said and you didn't say it in a bad way you called me out of it weeks later as we got to know each other right but explained to us what was going there why do you deliberately get people to become raw authentic and vulnerable with each other and what can we learn from that you know thank you for that look there's one thing that ties us all together and that is that we're all human and humanity struggles and humanity has passion you know in the olden days if you were in sales you'd walk into into somebody's office and you look around and you'd say oh you play golf I play golf let's play golf together we try to find something some form of shared you know connection or passion but what I can say is that if you just share your passion or you share your your vulnerability that in and of itself is your connection that's the ultimate human connection and what happens is this seventy thousand years ago when we were born as a species we were born into tribes that that Co elevated that's at the core of our DNA as a species we were born into tribes that served each other we had to if we didn't we would be alienated and we would beaten by something right so we needed that and we still do as a human species we need that bonding in connection and unfortunately the research has started to show that we have been become further and further away from that connected tribe we don't have those tribes anymore it's as why people are magnetized and drawn toward MindValley because it truly is offering that kind of a loving open connected tribe of individuals it's why I love my connection with mine Valley and so if you as an individual can can be that light that connects people through real humanity then you you have power you have power in your grace you have power in your authenticity you have power in how you hold yourself now listen one of the things that yeah that I've talked to you about is I'm an introvert and I have only found that out because I've had three months of social distancing in the United States before this comes out and I've loved it I've loved it now I have I have continued to foster my dinner my network etc in a medium that is new I'd haven't done at my traditional way I'm doing it in a new way and I for your sake though what I want you to recognize is that as an introvert my my challenges to you are challenges that allow you to be yourself to be authentic and to be open to relationships which we long for and I will give you all of the tactics by the way most of the CEOs that I serve are introverts most of the CEOs of major corporations are introverts and they they would rather hide behind their desks and their papers and their brands and I want to give you the seeming past I'm smiling because that's so me right now right I'm so enjoying working from home and I'm dreading going to the office I enjoy working from home with the kids around but that but thank you for sharing that Keith I want to play a quick quest we have a few minutes left I want to ask you three questions three really pressing questions and I want to just get you at once whatever comes true but you have three minutes to answer each question okay and for those of you listening um I believe many of these questions are going to apply to you two now the first question is a very personal one I'm about to go to a major shift in my life this is actually my last week in Malaysia I've lived in this country for 15 years prior to that I was in the US for 10 years I'm about to move permanently to Europe and the reason for that move is is my children really in Malaysia the schools are all shut down till January my kids are my kids mother is European they got into a European school and obviously as a dad I mean you're a father you know how it is I'm I'm moving to Estonia I'm excited about it I'm gonna find an apartment there but it's very sudden and I'm gonna end up being a CEO with 200 employees in a beautiful office in Malaysia but I'm in a different time zone and I'm trying to figure out how to adjust I mean I figured out how to use tools like zoom and an air table and all to manage but I'm trying to figure out how do I stay connected as a human being with the people I lead if I'm going to be hardly in the country yeah so at the core of what we teach in the quest is a process that we call a relationship action plan if you have a financial plan because you want to make sure your finances are solid you and/or you're making sure your business is solid you need to have a relationship plan and so vision what I would suggest you is a couple of things um the first thing I would do is I would create a of the 200 individuals you need to make sure that you're curating time to dip in with those individuals and I would identify your your let's put your executive team off to the side because you know I have coached your executive team right and there is a strategy but how you manage your executive team that I can you know that I have taught your team and using personal professional check in using sweet and sour all of the tools that I've given you around leadership in that so let's put that team aside but then you take the next 15 individuals the next 15 individuals I would like you to meet with each of those individuals for 15 minutes in whatever rotation feels appropriate to you every other week every third week etc but I want the agenda to be really simple 15 minutes five minutes I want you to dip in and I just want them to come to you and check in with what's going on personally and professionally in their lives and I want you to ask them to share the things they're struggling with or perhaps their greatest joys but I want you to be open to be the kind of human that creates that it relate an environment that asks for the struggles right um the next five minutes I want them to give you a pitch of what they see that could be possible for growth that could be possible for risk something that they see that you might not see and there's no obligation in your part to act on it I just want them to give you that information and then the last five minutes you can ask questions about that right Wow so and that deep dive of 15 minutes very powerful it's like aim superfood nugget of connection but information growth it's all wrapped up into one little 15-minute package so the first question the first five minutes is what what again five minutes is them being vulnerable and open to you what's going on in their personal watch they are struggling with really nobody tell them in advance I'm prepared for this this isn't something they need to rugby but what are the ideas what what are the what are the thoughts division for the menu pepper them with questions amazing I love that that that's amazing I do what I would do is I would do that to like the first 15 to 20 outside and then I would do it separately with about the same amount of time but the next tier doesn't get one-on-ones the next tier gets twos you have two people show up right and the intention there is to do a quick sweet-and-sour check-in but also to do a little bit more sharing about what their perspectives are and then the next group might be a larger group that you're doing so you're as you go out in terms of priority and by the way I'm not talking about hierarchy I'm talking about you could have a one on one check in with somebody that you just got who's there an entry level employee because you've decided you really want to do that you can migrate that right and you think that that's an amazing tool you think once a month is enough a per individual short for individuals sure mm-hmm no that could work I'm gonna figure out how to scale that I really like that so I by the way this this simple serendipity I have executive teams of the largest companies in the world doing that with the top 1,000 employees they have found more ID more growth ideas they have identified more risks and they become deeper connected and it's here's the power in the olden days vision you would be most connected to the people that you serendipitously bumped into in the hallways right but with this you have equalization around the globe with all of your people there's a human quarters wait I love that but as you go lower lower in the hierarchy let's say you get to level four you have this book it's still 15 minutes but it may be four people at once yeah exactly okay but it's 15 minutes it's more of a group dialogue I'm just look I know how about it but I'm trying to keep your time I'm trying to keep though I like that I like that that's amazing okay second question and and by the way that was one of the most powerful insights I've heard probably this entire month so I can only wait did like the probably just let me just convert this to what we teach in the quest though the importance of this is that all of us need a relationship action plan so we need purposefully about our relationships in a remote basis the world is open to you right and then with the practice as I gave you as a practice I call pinging you know in a radar it's like Bing Bing I've seen what's out there you need to create a regular cadence of being in touch with the most important people otherwise those relationships grow stale you need to stay connected to these individuals it's what I did with you know Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton I would say you need somebody at a at a fundraiser but if you've identified that individual is important to you for your future what I want you to do is I want you to put them on the list and identify the frequency with which you have a small toughing tapping conversation with them and then that keeps the relationship strong for perpetuity right I love that so that's a powerful idea now the second question would be the opposite of that let's say you are in a company and you want to connect with your higher up you want to connect with the CEO you want to share an idea with someone who may be I mean you could be in a company of a thousand of 2,000 people what do you do how do you apply keith's ideas Koel evasion the other concepts you teach the relationship action plan in a scenario like that look everybody likes ambition and growth so you do a little research remember for me with mr. la canto the CEO Pat LeConte or the CEO of Deloitte I heard his vision so if somebody in my company were to hear my vision which is I want to bring these ideas to transform the world I transform teams that transform the world that's what I do today and I want to bring that to everybody I want you and your team which is by the way your team's waiting to the your team they're not even there yet you may be a solopreneur you me an individual but I want you to have a team mission is on my team I don't pay vision but he's on my team Peter Diamandis the abundance is on my team so my team members are the most important people that matter to my dreams and success so what I want you to recognize is that no matter where you are you've got individuals and your job is to serve them by serving individuals you you earned the permission to co-create great things right so that little dinner that I had where I served mine Valley turned into me being an author at mine valley ryan of trend of visions right so I want all of you to recognize that the people that you would like to build relationships with your boss your boss's boss your CEO listen to what matters to them reach out to them and offer to be of service now be as specific as you can so that they can have a sense of reaction if you just reach out to somebody and say how can I be of service they would know how to answer that question you know if you reached out to me and said Keith you know I've noticed your social media following isn't as powerful as the connections that you have in the world and I'd love to do an audit and help you I'd be like I'm all-in right now all of a sudden of the people of the thousands of people that want to get my time right you'd be at the front of the row right so how do you identify what somebody needs in this world you know if you wanted to learn about my foundation for foster children and you wanted to be able to be of service to that foundation you be at the front of the line so you work on identifying that and then you offer your service and you will find yourself similar that I had with an extraordinary growth path to achieving your mission and and that reminds me of two other really important lessons I learned from you right the first one that the first lesson I learned from Keith is don't keep score it's not about I'm gonna do a favor for someone but I'm gonna make sure that they return that favor you just don't keep score and and that that lesson was so powerful for me um I trained my entire team because I noticed my team and they were sometimes working with authors to would say okay well this alternates as the mail for that particular event we will but let's see if they will mail back and I might forget it we don't we're not gonna keep score and so now if one of our mind value authors say submission listen I have book coming out instantly we mobilized the team to mail for the book Jim quicks new book recently came out in he's mission if if I just get a little bit more of a push this book could hit the New York Times we and we have 24 hours we changed our entire communications calendar we shoved other promotions and we put 30,000 dollars in marketing budget behind Jim's book and I'm proud to say it got in the New York Times we didn't keep score and now I do that for any author including you who steps in to mind alleys ecosystem but I'll bet I didn't Rick you know I thought that was just being a nice guy I didn't realize it's actually a powerful principle that can change your life and so thank you for that lesson what I like about how keep teaches by the way is he gives you new ways of looking at the world and these these methods have really cool names never keep score Koel evasion relationship action plan and I love that because it's like you have a toolbox now of managing the diverse network of relationships around you listen one of the things that I frustrates me is when anybody talks concepts without practices right you'd not think your way into new way of acting you act your way into a new way of thinking I want to change your mindset but you don't I don't change your mindset by preaching at you I change your mindset by giving you a little thing to do and it works and you're gonna want to do more of it and then you're gonna wake up a month from now believing it so in all that I do it's about the practices and I give you tons of them keep okay now the final question cuz there were three questions and before we get to the final question which is probably gonna be the most important one I want to tell you guys to go to mind valley.com forward slash networking mind valley.com forward slash networking to learn about each new program you can sign up directly for the program or you can enroll in a 90 minute free masterclass completely free where Keith and I are gonna go deep into many of his concepts way deeper than what we're doing here in this podcast completely free MindValley com forward slash networking Keith the final question is this you maintain a massive network what tools what web applications what apps are you using to run this you know the reality is it doesn't matter you can use but you need a CRM system customer relationship management system um you can use you know Salesforce comm which is a bigger one there are tons of these out there you can use an Excel spreadsheet it really doesn't matter I the the tools but but it is important that you become systematized and processed so you need to recognize and we teach what's called FTD AOR focus target to find a line outreach renew and in every step of the process that we teach you focus how do you align your your dreams to individuals how do you align your goals to individuals and its focus targeting is actually getting those specific individuals written down and actually beginning to put metrics around these we measure is somebody a zero that's an aspirational contact that you don't know all the way to a5 like vision and I are under the tent deeply being of service to each other as real partners right so you write those down and then you can have a metric by which you recognize how your relationships are scaling and how your how they're growing and how they're strengthening so you just need a system like I said I'm perfectly comfortable because you just use Outlook focus target define what you can do for them align people who are critical to your network so vision and I are now connectors helping connect each other ok let's focus and target different focuses so focus is the goal no way to go ok targeting the individuals against the goal and then making sure that your systematizing and putting metrics around on as individuals yeah focused are so to use so to use your earlier example focus might be I want to grow my social media right and then target might be who are people out there who know how to grow social media or like them cell already have a great social media that we can draft off of its after August target and what is the third item define what you can do for volume define how you can serve them first right that's right amazing I love that I love that and and I think that's a really key outcome this isn't to use your word Swami it isn't it isn't you and not manipulation Italy writes various look I know you serve other people right and you've got to have your heart aligned and one thing I love in my Valley community is you do you know if you're worried about will this feel insincere I don't know are you insincere right yeah the answer is if you're not insincere and you're passionate I am passionate about my mission I want to transform the world through elevation there is no more deeper passion I am working with the World Bank I'm working with governments I'm working with individuals like vision who have reach I am I am out there in the world trying to bring Co elevation to the world that is more fractured and more schism as a schism addict than it ever has been and in my deep passion and mission is to close that gap and I will and I am doing it today and I am achieving things that I could have never imagined as that poor kid in Pittsburgh and that's what I want for you I know you have a mission I know you have a mission and I want you to achieve it and even if you don't know what your mission is I want you to co-create with others to achieve your mission you can refine it with other people you can refine it and then achieve it beautiful Thank You Keith and and thank you everyone for listening I'm so excited to apply some of these techniques especially that 15-minute technique I think that can be a game-changer and you just helped me solve one of my biggest worries about my big move that's happening so so thank you for that and when you go into this program folks it is gonna blow your mind I learned that it's really the number one thing that helped me become Who I am that helped me become a best-selling author was the connections I had and most people approach that with no intention blindly just as if luck is gonna fix things for it when you go into that with deliberate intent with the right tools have its practices techniques and mindset your entire life changes so go to MindValley com forward slash networking to read about the program to sign up for a free master class and go to ferocity green light calm to check out Keith and see because I can I can swear by this he's an amazing mind to bring into your business and into your company if you're looking to get your team to the next level then you keep fishin Thanks it's gonna be a great ride great partnership salutely Thanks I'll see you guys on the next podcast next week thank you for tuning in and the website again is mine valley.com forward slash networking if you enjoyed this podcast go and leave us a review and be sure to mention keep varasi in that review I know Keith like any one of our other authors would so appreciate those rubies thanks guys and thank you [Music]

Channel: Mindvalley Talks

Views: 24,783

Keywords: human connection, Deep conversation, dream come true, how to connect with people, how to get attention, how to hold a conversation, the conversation, how to start a conversation, awkward conversation, how to keep a conversation going, how to have a good conversation, conversation skills, how to start conversation, how to have a conversation with anyonen, keith ferrazzi, How To Start & End A Conversation In English Politely? 10 Daily English Expressions You Should Know!

Id: kD2I_dpJr3Y

Length: 47min 26sec (2846 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 13 2020