How To Deal With Toxic Coworkers

coming up i'm going to tell you how to deal with those toxic co-workers and then what job quitters are looking for now a bizarre blockbuster nfl quarterback contract and i'm going to coach you up let's go [Music] helping you win it work and life by coaching you to make more money and experience more meaning in your work i'm ken let's go all right so toxic co-workers this topic just keeps coming up uh like uh well you know what coming up like the throw up you know it's like i put out the old q and a every i believe it's tuesday or wednesday on instagram and i just tell people uh over there on the gram hey uh ask me anything right and so uh people do and you know they'll ask me a variety of things you know from you know sports questions to pop culture to coke or pepsi i get the occasional silly question but the question that seems to pop up the most is a very specific question to their situation but it's all around how do i deal with a difficult co-worker toxic co-worker uh and we've talked to him on this show recently taught on how to deal with a toxic leader so today i'm gonna i'm gonna give you what i believe is a very practical three-step process to consider when you're dealing with a toxic co-worker because here's the here's the overarching thought here that i want you to embrace i i my whole purpose for doing this show is to help people do what they were created to do right step into their sweet spot and and and live and work the dream right but the reality is is you could be absolutely in your sweet spot doing work that you are absolutely created to do but if you are in a horrible culture whether it be a smaller team culture or a greater company culture that's just horrible and toxic let me just tell you something you'll still be miserable doing the thing that you were created to do in the wrong place will absolutely burn you out it has nothing to do with the work has everything to do with the environment and the answer isn't and i understand this and i want to be practical i understand the answer always isn't as simple as we'll just leave i understand that that's not always an easily made decision or rather it's not always simple to execute on it is possible but it takes time gotta find something to leave too so i don't ever wanna be uh overly simplistic and just dismiss well you know if you're dealing with a difficult worker if you do this this your kid doesn't work you just leave immediately no i understand that so i want to encourage you and i believe these three steps will allow you to have the best opportunity to overcome the difficult or toxic teammate here we go number one you have to try to have empathy for them in other words you have to give the effort to try to understand what's going on with them below the surface one way i said it on a social media post in this particular topic was there is pain inside of them that is causing the problems that you experience uh you know another way of saying it and i've heard this a million times it's a beautiful way of saying it hurting people hurt people now let's just pause for a moment and get real if these people are hurting you it is very very difficult to step back from that situation and go okay they are hurting me with their words with their actions and yet the reason they are hurting me is because they are hurting and that is really difficult to do because it's it's the equivalent of them you know uh shooting you with a nerf gun or one of those little things that stings it's like hey pop pop it is hurt and it stings it's like ah and in the moment when that's happening to you all you're thinking about doing is covering up protecting yourself defending yourself that's very normal but you have to after the wound and and the pain is inflicted you have to be able to while you're recovering and dealing with the pain you also have to go okay is this deeply personal is this very intentional or is this a result of pain now i can tell you this whether it is unintentional or intentional it's still a it's still about pain so it doesn't excuse their behavior but many times we can figure out that this is not this is not actually intentional remember pain is at the source of intentional poor actions or bad actions or toxic behavior just as it is at the source of unintentional toxic behavior but the reality is is that if we can determine and understand them understand what the pain is below the surface that's creating the problem now we have ourselves some perspective by which we can channel let's keep moving i'll come back to that number two if that doesn't work if you can't dig into the pain and find out what's going on and treat them with some empathy and maybe some compassion now you've got to go okay i've tried the empathy compassion part i understand what's going on and i've given them grace maybe i give them mercy and i try to win their heart over if that doesn't work it's not your job to be their counselor you're their co-worker so now you got to remove yourself don't engage don't empower their behavior by engaging in the behavior well can that's easier said than done yeah i understand but the reality is they come over and they start talking negative to you they come over start telling you what to do and it's not their job to tell you what to do i'm telling you folks there is honor in going oh i got to take this call and there's no call there well you say you're lying ah i think it's acting remove yourself from the situation i don't care there you're not breaking any ethical moral laws of the universe get out of there come up with an excuse hey i gotta go over here well you didn't say you had a meeting if you don't like my fake phone call all right i'll give you the completely uh guilt-free hey i gotta go take care of something well at which point you can come up with anything to take care of hey i gotta go to the bathroom well ken that's a little awkward yeah but that'll shut this stuff down get out remove yourself from the situation avoid them in other words you're creating boundaries to guard yourself from their destructive behavior and then third and this is for you people who like confrontation and it doesn't freak you out and i know that's very few of you but i got to address the ken coleman's of the world because i this is where i go i always want to start with number one i want to try to understand what's going on try to have some empathy and compassion and if that doesn't work i'm going straight to confronting them baby this is where you go hey you're over here telling me what to do you realize you're not my leader right hey listen i appreciate this suggestion but i'm doing exactly how our leader says i need to do it or hey can i tell you something i actually like working here i value this place and when you're gossiping um it brings me down could you not do that around me that's a form of confrontation or look at him go hey i know you're hurting i have tried to help you i've tried to understand you i've tried to pour into you i've tried compassion it's not working i need you to act like i don't exist only mandatory communication and spare me the pouting spare me the poisonous looks whatever you got to do folks now why why am i teaching on this because here's the reality there are times when we can't change our environment right away but we've got to be able to go into work and do our job so hey you'll lose your ever-loving mind if you don't put some boundaries in place and push these problem people away from you coming up next what people are searching for as they quit [Music] so you just landed the new job congratulations you've made it past the interviews and now it's time to onboard with excellence that's why i created how to stand out at your new job this free checklist will help you succeed from day one and may even help you get promoted these practical steps set you up to add value help your team win exceed your leaders expectations and ultimately set you up for a successful transition to get started just go to kencoleman.com new [Applause] [Music] [Applause] all right couple things i want you all to do for me real quick uh for those of you who are thinking about something new we're gonna about we're about ready to break this down what are people that are quitting jobs looking for i'm going to break it down in detail for those of you that are looking um this information is going to be very relevant but i'm also telling you we have a lot of people that are taking my advice and using the free services zip recruiter because here's the deal you may be one job change away from completely changing your path your perspective and your potential and sometimes a fresh start is the best thing we can do and if that's you ziprecruiter.com ken is the site for you why do i endorse and promote ziprecruiter well they're a world-class service that allows you to live your life and you're not submitting 50 to 100 resumes a day one profile in five minutes or less and your resume is uploaded and they start pitching you they are recruiting on your behalf while you're living your life going to soccer games football games doing your work they're working for you companies pay them so you don't pay them a nickel companies pay them for access to people like you and i know my audience is serious and i know my audience is clear and i know my audience is hungry and so they love you it's free to you they send you jobs directly because they say the company wants to interview you here you go we're contacting you and connecting you directly to the company takes all the yuck and suck out of the job search ziprecruiter.com ken ziprecruiter.com ken okay uh also really quick to our live audience on youtube it's a special hearty group of characters give us a thumbs up you're watching for free the least you could do is click on the thumbs up for heaven's sakes i'm like a parrot that's your version of giving me a cracker and patting me on the head as i squawk along to your enjoyment give me a thumbs up let's go those of you that are hardcore and already gave a thumbs up guilt everybody watching and let's go get those thumbs up that helps us grow we are growing by the way thank you so very much okay so mckenzie and company very respected uh uh consulting company in the business space to do a lot of research got a new study out and i'm just gonna roll through this very quickly because this is very relevant to those of you who are always having an eye on moving up and moving up comes down to two decisions as it relates to destination right so if we talk about moving up climbing up the ladder climbing on the next rung of the ladder you're gonna do that in two ways one internally two externally okay we get that and so if you're very serious about growing and you should be about progressing you've got to always have your eye while you're focused on one eye is on the now you must always have an eye on the next and this is fascinating stuff now i also know that i've got a bunch of leaders some of you are in leadership and you watch the show and you're about while you're in a leadership business you're looking at attracting and retaining people this is vitally important stuff so here we go now we all know the current environment but i'm going to remind us to give us context right now and we saw the end of may the latest numbers where we had about 11.3 million jobs available that's that's stunning all right almost twice the amount of people are unemployed and companies are still hiring they're still paying more so this quitting rate continues to be very high you've heard me call it the great resignation it's happening it's not slowing down okay um the voluntary quit rate is 25 higher today than it was pre-pandemic staggering number now employers who are being left behind are continuing to rely on the traditional levers or let's call it bait to attract talent those are compensation and we're seeing a lot of people leave for that they're going okay i could get a 14 15 20 bump i'm leaving just for a bigger paycheck but we're also seeing in the data a lot of people regretting that because the high of the paycheck and the promotion wears off if you're not in a healthy culture or you're not doing work that you love that's why we exist i'm just telling you the paycheck wears off now uh compensation titles advancement opportunities these are always the carrots and those are still important for what mckinsey is calling from this study uh workers that they call traditionalists so it's a large group that go you know what that's all i'm looking for i'll gut it out if i don't love the job i don't care as long as i got a good check good title and a good chance to get promoted and unfortunately that's what i'm fighting settling for okay work all right now there's a new pool of workers that has created this gap between 11.3 million jobs available and let's call it 8.3 8.4 million people unemployed there's a gap why well because of these non-traditional they're not looking for that type of stuff they're looking for flexibility okay they're looking for uh remote opportunities they want to start their own business and uh so mckenzie in this report has has grouped these uh these non-traditional workers uh into three categories this is interesting do you fall in any of these categories and leaders listen to me you need to be aware as you're trying to compete for talent and attract talent and leaders if you're not aware of this you're going to lose the race for good talent here there are the three groups these are reshufflers these are employees who are quitting and going to different employers in different industries so they're switching industries all together then there's the reinventors these are employees leaving traditional employment to go to non-traditional work that's the temporary gig the part-time role or starting their own business and then the third group are the reassessors these people are not quitting for other jobs but because life has changed for them could be a mom that needs to go home daycare's not working out maybe there's some medical issues going on a whole host of issues that would have a person go you know what for this season of my life um i can't be working the traditional job okay um now um of the employees who quit without a new job in hand meaning they didn't quit to a job okay so there's a lot of these reinventers 47 of those chose to return to the workforce so that tells me again either it was not a good financial move they thought it would work out and it didn't or they took care of the issue at hand and then they want to get back to work um and and and so that's that's pretty fascinating stuff now we've got a graphic i want to put up on the screen really quick and uh i don't have time to break down this whole article this study is huge but look at that right there top reasons for quitting your previous job now this is for people who quit between april 2021 and april of 2022 and this is a sizable shift okay we've always seen lack of meaningful work and compensation towards the top but look at the top reason right there a lack of career development and advancement i've said it on this show alex before and i was right people don't want a better job they want a better life then total compensation is second and then closely and third is uncaring and uninspiring leaders people leave leaders not companies wow really interesting stuff all right next unbelievable story from the nfl world and it's a leadership example uh kyler murray for those of you who aren't nfl fans he's the quarterback for the arizona cardinals and uh he won the heisman at oklahoma so all you sooner fans love you some kyler murray well during the off season there was some contentious negotiations with the cardinals signing he stopped following it on instagram there was a lot of drama and all this kind of stuff and so was just announced this week you ready for this the cardinal signing to a 230 and a half million dollar contract 160 million guaranteed no matter what happens in in his behavior or performance 160 guaranteed the minute he signed it that's 46.1 million average salary that's not bad alex not bad at all so those numbers is not what has caused a stir among nfl executives the number that stood out in the contract and stood out to me was the number four little clause in this contract that said murray has to spend four hours per week in independent study during the regular season in playoffs during that time he must review material provided to him by the club in order to prepare for the club's next upcoming game so now this is when he's not in the locker room or he's not in the training room he's not in the film room he has an additional four hours a week that he has to do homework now let me tell you why this is wild here's the takeaway talent is not enough leaders if you're spending that much money on somebody and you're mandating that they gotta do four hours of homework that's probably not a good deal and number two they're covering their butts in case they fire him because they don't trust him [Music] did you know that just like a product you have a personal brand it's the image or impression others form about you based on your interactions and whether we realize it or not our personal brand impacts opportunities to grow in our careers that's why our team created the personal brand survey it's free and it will give you personal and professional feedback so you can own your strengths and uncover any blind spots holding you back to get started go to kencoleman.com brand [Music] hi my name's ken i'm a man of the people by the people for the people and no i've not turned into an injury lawyer you know you say for the people now and that's been completely just perverted right into oh you're the guy i call if i get hit by a car no i'm the guy you call when you want the truth you want perspective you want coaching you want encouragement you want to be challenged to be who you were created to be and you know what the result of that is you're going to make more money enough money and you're going to experience tremendous meaning because you spend over 90 000 hours in your lifetime on average if you're an american worker and if you're spending that kind of time at work you take sleep what's left over you better be doing something that you're good at you better be doing something you love and you better be doing something that produces results that you actually give a crapola about and that's why we're here and this is a perfect story i mean this is fascinating to me and i think it's happening alex a lot more than we realize even though this is in the headlines what am i talking about by the way you notice that there's a trend going on here alex that we keep reporting viral tick tocks so even adults are on the old talk now and they're just sharing real stories and it's going bananas here's another one a man an ohio-based teacher goes viral on tick-tock after revealing that he was quitting his job as an early education teacher to make more money working at walmart let's show you the tick tock and then we'll break some stuff down here you go so he's not talking by the way so he says hey i'm leaving teaching after six years and i'm going to take a job at walmart the direct quote was leaving teaching after six years to go be a manager at walmart and make more not using my degree that's what you saw there quickly in the caption all right now um he goes on uh in the comments uh that people are making he goes on to reveal that uh in his county in ohio teachers make between 23 to 30 000 per year he said his salary in his first year was 23 000 and his last salary in his sixth year of teaching was 43 000. um he then goes on to say i know a lot of people that were starting to retire in my district were making 75 to 80 000 but that was after 25 years he says in the video that as a walmart coach he can make a starting salary of around 65 to 70 000 but even more as a walmart manager so this is really awesome because i have a lot of teachers who call this show and they'll say things like ken i'm burned out by the way this is an epidemic this is a real problem talk about an epidemic it's the amount of people that are leaving the education field and by the way it's not limited to just teachers we're seeing principals leaving droves if you don't believe me go look at the nea the national education association look at their own data where they said recently that over 52 of their members were considering leaving the profession holy cow it's a five-alarm dumpster fire now that's a separate rant i'm not going to get into that but i get calls from teachers who are saying ken i'm in that situation i'm in the dumpster fire i want to get out and they say things like i don't know what to go to and this is a great example and i'm excited about it because i remember many times alex talking to teachers and going hey look i would ask them do you do you what do you hate about the job what's driving you out of it and it was always external circumstances in other words the remote teaching responsibilities they now have to counsel uh council students and they're not trained counselors they're having to deal with mental health issues and they're not equipped and trained to be mental health counselors i've talked to teachers about this directly not just on the air but off the air and zoom calls where i've gathered teachers um they are dealing with the fact that they can't teach the actual topics they are teaching for a standardized test and there's massive stress and they feel like their job is on the line if they don't have enough kids tests at the levels that are required by politicians in the standardized tests and parents those of you watching those of you that may have been sued you know there's a real stressor here so anyway so we get through all that and i say to the teacher if i removed all that crap would you be calling me they go no i just love teaching and instructing so then i say well what are some other areas that you can still be that instructor or do the work of instructing and here's an example as a matter of fact i just had an idea i want brittany to reach out to this guy we can find this guy and i want to have him on the show i just want to do a brief interview with him to have him describe the position because i saw this and i said this is great he's going to be a walmart coach so they've hired a teacher who's been trained in the art of instruction and now he's going to be an internal coach for walmart coaching instructing guiding training come on folks that's the same thing a teacher does even in early education great fit for this guy and so now he's going to make 65 to 70 and he's got a track to leadership and it's walmart and by the way walmart's benefits alex i mean they got the benefits baby and that's really good money and so here this guy moves from an environment that he feels limited in and who knows what his other frustrations are let's try to get him on the show i think it'd be great to hear his story i'd love to interview him on that all right so that's a really fun story um let's see if i want to do anything else here uh oh gabriel pointed out that being a teacher involves lessons planning grading report cards after school events um and and and he said but look um that's taking up my night time and people pushed him it's like well you're gonna give up your nights and weekends maybe by being a manager and he said look i already didn't have much nights and weekends just because of the overwhelming amount of work that teachers have to deal with according to indeed the average annual salary of a business coach at walmart is 58 000. so there you go fantastic all right next story boy am i bringing the goodness today here we go oh i haven't done this for the crowd yet they love the that when i do that so i gotta do that okay seven companies that help employees pay off their student loans what and they're hiring this is fascinating real quick 44 million student loan borrowers that's how many we have in the united states right now 44 freaky million people have student loans and they're wondering if uncle joe is gonna save him spoiler alert he's not they've been talking and talking and talking they're not going to do anything there is a law called the cares act which was signed into law march 2020 allows companies to make up to 5 250 of student loan payments for a worker each year and the employees don't have to pay income tax on that and the employer doesn't owe payroll tax so that was a nice gesture in 2020 the society for human resource management reported that only eight percent of employers offer student loan repayment assistance saying it was an uncommon benefit despite its popularity among younger employees but an october 2021 report from the employee benefit research institute found that close to 50 of companies either already offer a student loan debt assistance program or plan to introduce one so here are seven companies that are leading the charge on this number one google google said they would match up 2500 per year in student loan payments for any full-time employee with outstanding debt fidelity investments fidelity began offering its student loan assistant benefit in 2016. it's available to employees working at least 20 hours per week and um they can receive up to 89 a month uh towards their loan 7 500 total chegg i don't even know what chegg is sounds fun um they're doing it well i'm not gonna roll through all the details each one of these estee lauder uh offers a hundred dollars per month up to 10 000 lifetime and paid off so this is so that headlines a little tricky so i'm not seeing companies just paying it all off although some might and it might be part of your promotional package if you negotiated for it but um live nation they're in the big concert space 100 a month up to 60 months price waterhouse coopers 1200 per year nvidia uh 6 000 per year up to 30 000 total so there you go folks it is possible and i always think it's worth bringing up if a company wants you really bad say hey this is what it's gonna take and i'll be there with a smile [Music] if the thought of attending a networking event makes you break out in hives you're not alone and i'll let you in on a secret networking in the traditional sense doesn't work but genuine connection is all about relationships that's why we created networking the right way this free guide is the low pressure high impact way to overcome the awkwardness build real relationships and turn your connections into opportunities to get the guide go to kencoleman.com network [Music] welcome back to the ken coleman show thrilled to have you with us it's time for a little uh coaching session allison is going to join us in honestly one of my favorite cities in all of the united states charleston south carolina allison you're on the ken coleman show thank you ken for taking my call what's going on i took your quiz and um it said i was in the right role at the wrong place oh okay you took the i quit my job quiz yeah okay right roll wrong place right i have great benefits great pay and i'm five years from retirement okay well so tell me before you get to your question i just want to know really quick what has what made well first of all did you agree with the outcome of the should i quit my job quiz did you feel like it was correct in some aspects yes because i do enjoy what i do yeah right but that's the right role right but they're your answers and so if you agree with this assessment that you were in the right role but the wrong place there's something about the environment or the culture that made you score that correct correct what is it i would agree with that um being unappreciated and uh not being offer i was offered something ownership that was taken away because of my age um and i'm not degreed i'm a controller um yeah so sometimes it's just lack of appreciation but i work by myself i love what i do okay um so the environment it's not the environment you like working by yourself and that's ideal it's just you don't feel valued because they took away something from you i mean that's awesome correct yeah okay i get it all right so what's your question well should i just hang it out for the next five years six years to retirement well let's look at this all right so let's just walk through this um you're on track to retire and be very comfortable yes or no i wouldn't say i'll be comfortable but i don't know about very comfortable okay sorry all right but comfortable so the point so you're gonna be comfortable we're just walking through some scenarios here okay okay so you're gonna be comfortable uh you really enjoy your work you like the work and you like the environment or the rhythm because you work by yourself you're pretty much left alone you do your thing and you really enjoy it so it's not something that drains you it kind of lifts you and it's it's good true right yeah okay so the only negatives are that there was some ownership there and that would have been a financial payout at some point uh for you or the benefit of your family or something like that and they pulled that away from you and not only did they pull it away from me they cited your age which is just so disrespectful and quite frankly just boneheaded uh it's a kind of it's a caveman move uh and that hurt your feelings and it and not only did it hurt your feelings it then devalued you after you got over the initial pain it devalued you and so you go you know what these people don't really value me or appreciate me i don't feel wanted so that's the negative now we're not ready to retire we got five more years and that just gets us to comfortable not very comfortable so if we leave we are leaving for one reason maybe two but the primary reason that you would leave is because you don't feel valued the secondary reason that you would leave is to make more money over the next five years and potentially take you from comfortable to very comfortable is that fair analysis yeah but i'm already i think at the top of my pay grade okay i think it could make more so now see what we're doing so we're going is it worth it to go through the change and everything that i would go through to then land something that's largely the same amount of money and i might be more valued i might feel better about myself because of them but is it worth it for that trade-off i would say no that's what i think i think that your response should be you know what they're boneheads they're boneheads they may not be evil people but they're boneheads they may not have intentionally tried to you know make you feel the way that you felt but they made you feel the way you feel and you got to get over it because they're not going to change right not only they're not going to change they're not going to change their decision and give you back the ownership so it's like it's it's done my grandmother used to say don't cry over spilt milk and i never knew what she meant until i became an adult it's like well the milk is already spilled i have tenure i've been there 16 years so yeah i think you're fine i think what you do is focus on finishing well for you that's it i'm gonna finish well for me i like the job i need the job i only got five years left i got a really ideal environment so what i know i'm valuable i don't care what they think or what they do [Music] are you wondering if you should leave your current job or stay put you're not alone that's why we created the should i quit my job quiz in just five minutes or less this quiz will help you determine if you're at the right company and if you're in the right role if you need to make a move you'll even get practical next steps to keep you moving forward listen stuck is a choice and life is too short not to do what you were created to do to take the quiz go to kencoleman.com quiz [Music] all right folks very important information in my hands here this is off the old bulletin board uh for those who watch the show and know that i coach people up and you really enjoy diving in and listening to the coaching or maybe you've called in and got coached before you know that i have limited time to be able to coach you up and that's why i've created ramsey career coaching these are professional coaches that have been certified they have been doing this a long time in fact all of them longer than i technically been doing they're world class women and men so you've got a variety to choose from what's the best fit for you and i've talked with these folks i've vetted them and let me taste it for those of you who have the margin to do this and it's not very expensive kick the tires and just check me on that for some of you don't have the margin at all for those of you have margin and you want to get a bigger shovel now dave ramsey if you're familiar with him he's been saying that for a long time bigger shovel means i can scoop more dirt out of the hole get out of debt right that's the concept or for those of you who want to save catch up on retirement put the pool in buy the car for the 16 year old i mean fill in the blank more money then i'm telling you growth in your financial and professional life is directly related to how fast and how firmly you are growing and a coach is the game changer any money invested in a coach in my opinion if you allow them to coach you is always going to return multiplex i don't know the number that would be foolish for me to predict but i'm telling you you won't just get the money back you'll get it back then some that's how much i believe in coaching go to ken coleman.com coaching today we have limited spots in our first kind of trial run as we work through the best engagement for you the customer ken coleman dot com slash coaching ken coleman dot com slash coaching i'm telling you something breakthrough is on the other side of coaching that's what i believe for everybody in multiple areas of their life michaela what is it charleston south carolina day this is very exciting i got to tell you this might be a sign stacey and i were looking at a little fall getaway got some southwest miles that we got to use george campbell told me about the hack and i got some unused miles gotta use them and we're thinking about charleston south carolina now i feel like this is a sign so i may patch stacey in for this call and we'll get a full breakdown from michaela no i kid michaela is waiting but kayla you're on the ken coleman show hi ken thank you so much for having me on you bet what's going on so i am an actuary i've been working for my company for two and a half years now out of college uh it's what i studied in college but i've always had my sights set on but i've been struggling with the actuarial exams that we have to pass and because of that my company is moving me to a non-actuarial role and that has kind of prompted me to and i've sort of been i've always i always wonder like is there a better career out there for me but this is prompting that question even more i know i can do the exams i've been getting more and more test anxiety every time i haven't passed it and has retaken it but i guess my question is what do you think do you have any advice should i look for another actuarial role somewhere else that will help support me through the exams yeah boy this is really interesting that's where i was headed my question was and is if if we got over the anxiety issue and we got through it because i believe you can with help and you knew you weren't going to struggle with the exams would you be on the phone with me right now talking about a different career option it ebbs and flows about three months ago which was around the time that i was taking the exam back in april yeah but so that's that's tied to the anxiety of the exam i want you to and by the way you already had an answer i know this about people i've done this now over five thousand times i want you to tell me what you actually were thinking that you didn't say i'm going to ask the question one more time because it's a yes or no answer if you knew that you would have no issues with the exam no anxiety and you you're gonna sail through it would you be calling me right now asking for my help to come up with ideas for different work no of course not so i mean listen i sometimes i don't give people the answer that they want but that's not my job my job is to get you to answer and you just answered it so now that tells you you gotta double down now the challenge is it seems like maybe the ship has sailed with your current company because they you've expressed your anxiety issues they've seen you not pass the test and so they're going well we like michaela enough to keep her around but we're going to put her in another position so it seems like that ship has sailed or is it still in transition or is it possible to go hey you know what if i go get counseling on this would you guys be willing to pay for some of it if you're not um would you allow me to stay in the role if i go get professional help and i get victory over this anxiety and i get some tools to be able to manage the anxiety and pass the test is it too late to do that no they've told me that i can come back into the actuarial department in our company but it will have to be after i pass an exam and there's a role that opens up okay so for right now the answer is it's not an option it's down the line right so then what you asked me a moment ago i think becomes your best option going and being an actuary somewhere else yeah but i will tell you the way people treat stuff like this in today's world is still truly up in the air what i mean by that is you go in the interview process and you say look i struggle with test taking you're going to get one of two reactions you're going to get a person who goes okay i get that i love that well we'll support you we we'll we'll you know we'll pay for you know counseling or hey we'll work with you on that don't feel any pressure what seemed to be the issues it would be an open-minded response versus somebody going uh okay and they kind of give you that weird smile and you know what they're thinking they're thinking you're damaged goods would you agree with me that's that's it's gonna go one of those two ways yes so i think for you i would be looking for another actuary job and if it were me this is me so this is not a my way or the highway suggestion if it were me i would commit to counseling because i think this is going to help you in other areas listen and i'm speaking as a person who always struggled with tests and if i had it to do all over again i probably would have asked my parents okay can i go see a counselor and try to get some tools get to the source of why i am so nervous and why i don't test well now i never had any anxiety um symptoms that were outward but i know that i was a ball of nerves inside and that's anxiety on some level and i just i didn't focus well i didn't i just didn't do well on tests i over analyzed that so i would sit with a counselor and go i tend to overanalyze how do i determine what i believe is the right answer versus talk myself out of what was the right answer that would have been my issue do you understand michaela and so i think for you i believe that you i believe in counseling and i believe professionals mental health professionals can give you tools that can allow you to overcome that and you'll be a fine test taker yeah because i don't think it's a function of you doing your job you don't have any performance issues as an actual actuary do you nope it's only when you have to take the stupid test yep folks this is why i hate unnecessary testing you shouldn't even have to take the test but let me tell you what this is this is bureaucracy and politicians they create unnecessary hoops that people have to jump through am i right michaela tell me if i'm wrong yeah you don't need to be tested you just need an annual review and regular communication with your leader to make sure you're getting proper training and that you can actually do the job true or false yep shame on your leaders shame on them they ought to know that they ought to know that you're a high performer they've probably told you that true yep and yet they're moving you on because of the stupid test they ought to go you know what we think the tests are stupid too because we know michaela gets it done so you know what they ought to do you know what they ought to do they ought to say to the government and whoever's by the way who's uh i'm running out of time i'm not even gonna ask you here's the deal michaela i want you to look onward look upward that's where you're going you do the work that you need to do to get victory over the anxiety around test taking and i know you can and i know you will and there's no holding you back this is the ken coleman show press on [Music] thanks for listening to the ken coleman show for more you can find the show on demand wherever you listen to podcasts and watch the show on youtube you can also find ken across all social media by following at ken coleman [Music] you

Channel: The Ken Coleman Show

Views: 4,437

Keywords: The, Ken, Coleman, Show, the ken coleman show, career, job, life, dream job, motivation, work, jobs, how to find your dream job, how to find your passion, business, tips, career advice, success, passion, how to get a job, dream career, how to find the right career, personal development, self improvement, Ken Coleman Show Video, How To Deal With Toxic Coworkers

Id: nZZpPzyuiAg

Length: 47min 25sec (2845 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 26 2022