How to Build Confidence | Robin Sharma

[Music] hi it's Robin Sharma author if the leader who had no title founder of the Titan Academy welcome to this mastery session this mastery session is all about how change makers generate confidence I don't know if you'd agree with me on this but in many ways one of the key factors to legendary success isn't your natural ability it's not whether you have the right product it's not whether you're in the right field it's not whether you've had a blessed background it's not whether you have the right IQ I want you to really think about and deconstruct and play with maybe later tonight in your journal I want you to deconstruct this idea of confidence and it seems like a very simple word but just think about it in your own life when you have confidence or we could even call it fire when you have that fire within you that confidence that interior bravery you almost have this power to do whatever it takes to get your brave vision done you see in this world it's not about you know in many ways your strategy in your business or your ability in your life it's about this thing called confidence and we have all had these times in our lives when we are full of confidence and what other people see is a problem we simply do see as an opportunity other people see it as a stumbling block or a wall and we see it as a stepping stone or this solution and so confidence is sin that you really want to wire in confidence is something you really want to develop confidence is a practice confidence is a muscle and like any muscle the more you focus on it and practice it and train it the stronger your confidence is going to grow and I just have to say it again when you are at a place in your life when there is an ongoing steady stream of confidence moving through your mindset moving through your heart set you do the heroic in your business and you achieve the remarkable in your life and so the first thing I want to offer to you with deep respect as always is simply this study the alchemy that's really the first lesson in generating rare error levels of confidence study the alchemy now here's what I mean by that what happens to most people in life especially the victims is they reach a part of their life you know a difficult time and they call it failure I mean even just labeling a setback as a failure trigger something into your mindset to release cortisol the fear hormone which blocks your best performance and so you want to see yourself and you want to study the alchemy which is where other people are seeing a failure or setback or even a little problem you want to look for the gold you want to train your brain so you have a dominant belief it just becomes automatic because you've practiced it so much where when someone says there's a problem or there's a wall or there's a failure you literally see the alchemy to turn the lead into gold maybe you're going through a divorce maybe you're going through an illness a lot of people who watch this podcast are going through difficulties or outright tragedies but you want to practice seeing the setback or the dark time as fuel to leverage your growth and so on this first point about study the alchemy no matter what you're going through in your life whether it's a large difficulty or a small setback you want to ask yourself how can I use what I'm going through as fuel for my growth you want to ask yourself what is the gorgeous opportunity hidden inside this so-called problem I mean and if you look at the mass of humanity they really train their brains to focus on problems right the hit a wall and then just because of their belief system they don't know it because most people are not really that aware of their belief systems so they blame it on the world they blame it on the supplier they laman on the team mate they blame it on their husband or wife they blame it on their childhood versus understanding our daily performance reflects our deepest beliefs and so if you are experiencing some kind of a setback whether its large or tiny you want to train your brain to see the treasure within the led which brings me to the second way the change makers generate confidence they flow with the seasons I mean our egos and our weak ourselves now then maybe I'm getting a little philosophical here but I think we're all philosophers at some level and our weaker selves think that success in life is being happy happy happy always being in the sunshine always being successful and society has sold us a bill of goods that if we're not successful and we're not on our games and if we're not waking up happy and if we're not full of joy and if we're not feeling all this confidence there is something that is wrong and we deep love and respect this could be one of the most important things I share with you in this podcast that is just your ego screaming and that's why I say flow with the seasons a life beautifully lived is a series of seasons a legendary producer is not always at the top of the mountain and so stop resisting I encourage you stop resisting the natural flow of epic performance stop resisting the natural seasons of life you see and so what happens is when you stop struggling and you learn again it's a muscle but you just learn to relax with life and you simply understand part of living a legendary business life and part of living a rare air personal life means you're going to have seasons of so-called success in society maybe it's making a lot of money being really productive being at the top of your game receiving the accolades of peers feeling you are nailing your your your goals and your ambitions and your KPIs or key performance indicators and you're going seasons where you're confused seasons where you feel heartbroken these seasons where you feel depleted seasons where you are struggling and the more you learn to relax into every season the more you will generate this internal power which I call confidence the third method that changemakers use to generate great levels of confidence they bulletproof their TBT f-type bubble of total focus in previous podcasts I've encouraged you to build a tight bubble of total focus around yourself in this age of dramatic distraction you can be distracted you can do iconic work you just don't get to do both and so the most productive people on the planet the people with the greatest impact in the world they all have this metaphorical tight bubble of total focus that they build around their mindsets their heart sets and their work routines and so to generate massive amounts of confidence you almost have to bulletproof yourself so nothing toxic nothing distracting no interruptions can get in and then what happens is you literally start to drop into transient hypofrontality that's the neurobiological phenomenon that happens when you drop into solitude and you get out of distraction and you get into this monomaniacal focus where you slow down the cortisol flow which is the fear hormone and you increase serotonin and you increase dopamine which is the inspirational neurotransmitter and your prefrontal cortex which is the seed of reasoning and that chattering mind that goes on all day actually gets silent for a brief burst of time and that's why they call it transient hypofrontality for a short period of your time your prefrontal cortex becomes really really quiet and that drops your brain from beta waves to alpha waves and researchers like me hi chick sent me I call this the flow state when you are playing basketball and you're really in the moment in the flow of life hours go by in minutes and all of a sudden you find these superhuman abilities maybe you're at work and you're just jamming on a project with your teammates and you're actually having fun well again the whole day goes by and you did your best work that's flow and how do you get to flow by protecting and bulletproofing your mind set your heart set and you doing your best work another way to bulletproof your your mindset and this create this tight bubble of total focus is really understanding the importance of reading great autobiographies listening to great podcasts you know turning off the news because the purpose of the news is to frighten you you know the news is actually not objective in terms of the way the world is reality is so much better there it's so much more positive there are heroes on the planet there are so many kind people out there there are so many people building remarkably awesome businesses there are so many people scaling great nonprofits there are so many people out there in your own community living these great lives in their own unique way but the news doesn't report that it's one negative story after another because the purpose of the news is to frighten you and if they frighten you they're going to addiction one way to really generate great confidence is to build this type bubble of total focus around you and another way to do that is to clean out the toxicity in your life stop watching news start reading great autobiographies so you understand you know you will have your Robin Island moment or season or year or maybe even a decade I mean rah Nelson Mandela I was fortunate enough to be in his prison cell last month and I learned he was on Robben Island for 18 years his total period of confinement was 27 years and again he could have seen that as failure he used it as fuel the fourth way to generate confidence is to understand that the brain has a natural negativity bias and I've alluded to this than spoken about this on previous podcast but you know this ancient brain the amygdala it served us really well it was a survival mechanism that was developed within the human brain hundreds and thousands of years ago so we were out on the Savannah and we had to fight we had to be hyper-vigilant to saber-toothed Tigers to servation to being killed right and now we are in modern society but we still have this ancient brain this negativity bias and what I'm suggesting to you and I know you know this but how many times in your own life you have a great day you focus on the tiny losses you have a great life your brain naturally goes to the things that are not right you give a great presentation to a hundred people and you focus on one negative comment with your intimate partner he or she has a thousand incredible qualities and you focus on the three negative qualities why does that happen it's because your brain has a natural bias towards negativity the negativity bias and again tonight pull out your journal and write about the negativity bias and how that's depleting you and how that's limiting you and on this fourth point about how change makers generate great confidence you want to recode your mindset to fight and then beat and then transcend your brains natural negativity bias and how do you do that you simply focus on where you are winning rather than saying what needs to improve you can ask yourself this great question and journal journal about it you can do a 30-day journaling challenge where you start to ask yourself where am i winning in my life and you do that every day you start to rewire your neurobiology and your interior psychology you can ask yourself before you go to sleep every night I call this the nightly three it's one of the rituals I teach at my events like the Titans and every night before you go to sleep you can do this while you're laying in bed just mentally or you can write it down you can keep your journal by your bedside table it's a ritual you can install ask yourself what are three good things that happen to me today and wherever possible let's say you do a nature walk let's say you're commuting home from the office you start to build these rituals where you train your brain because the brain is a muscle and you start to ask yourself where am i winning what was good today what am i grateful for in my life here's another great question how could this be worse you know I live in Canada and there is an iconic rock group they're almost like Canada's national rock group and they're called The Tragically Hip and they have been famous for decades and they do beautiful beautiful music you know and I mean their music has got me through great times and their music has got me through painful times and I just think in many ways their music is genius and the frontman his name is Gordon E and a lot of people describe the way he moved you know he moved like he was on a trance and he was a poet he was a great friend definitely one of the greatest frontman in the history of rock music and you know I don't say that lightly but if you watch some of their videos you'll know what I mean and my loved ones and I were very blessed and privileged to be at their last show which was a few weeks ago in their hometown of Kingston Canada and it was a it was just a unforgettable night the music was just so magical you know and the Prime Minister was in the room and people honored him and they celebrated him but this concert was very sad because it was actually the last show they will ever do gore Downey the frontman of The Tragically Hip has been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and so this summer they did a final tour ten shows and I think of him often you know after that show because so many of us have so many blessings in our lives that we take for Grint and positive psychologists call it hedonic adaptation you know we get something good in our life maybe it's a great relationship maybe it's a promotion maybe it's a new car maybe you're blessed to be healthy and hedonic adaptation is the very natural psychological tendency for us to dismiss and take for granted what we experience every day and I think of Gord downy you know I think of his family I think of what he must be experiencing you know if it's indeed true that these are his last days and that was his last show and what he must be dealing with you know and I when I watched him on the stage you know bringing on his a-game you know with his bandmates and they've gone through so many shows around the world together and here he was you know I mean he's reportedly going through intense chemotherapy and yet he was just singing with such heart you know and one of the lines he said when he talked to the audience he said thank you for pushing me you know thank you thank you for pushing me and I'm simply reminding you with great respect you know focus on where you're winning focus on where you're grateful for rewire and recode that natural tendency of your brain towards negativity bias because you know we live in a world where half the world lives on two dollars and fifty cents a day you know it's that Persian proverb I curse the fact I had no shoes until I saw the man who had no feet and then the final way the changemakers generate confidence is they stop comparing and this may seem obvious but I'm going to invite you to really think about how many times even in a single day you compare your success to competition you compare your life to what it looks like your neighbors have you compare where you are on the journey of your life to what society says other people are living and what's what the majority defines success as and you know I'm encouraging you when you stay in your lane there is no competition and one of the great recipes for a life lived unhappily is to spend your best hours if your best days comparing yourself oh this person has a nicer car oh this person has a nicer family oh this person has a beautiful home they must have it all together well here's the reality almost every single one of us alive today we're struggling we're struggling with something we're struggling with a job issue a financial issue a health issue a relationship issue a spiritual issue and you know all these people that you see on the street that are wearing happy faces designed to suggest they have massive confidence they're just like all of us we're all just trying to figure it out we all have something we want to work on in our lives there's all some weakness we can pivot on and make better that's the human journey and so my encouragement to you here today on this podcast where I share from my heart as much passion and love and wisdom and leadership insight as I can bring on for you stop comparing your life because you know what everyone has something that they're working on and the people you think I mean I've worked with billionaires and I get an inside private glimpse of how they live every single day of their psychology of their emotionality of the struggles that they have within their family many of them are self medicating themselves you think they have a beautiful life they're struggling with just getting through the day and it is such a illusion that so many of the people that we think have everything many of them have nothing it says please stop comparing your income your car your social status your house your family life whatever it is you know your business with other businesses in your field with others you stay in your own lane run your own race develop have the wisdom bravery and confidence to say here's what success stands for for me it might not be society's measure of success it might not even be my neighbor's measure of success it may not be my mom or my dad or even my loved ones measure of success but this is what instinct feels right to me and this is how I define success in my life according to my values and in the world and then just don't compare to anyone else live that I hope this podcast has been a value to you I hope it's given you some great ideas to dial in on your confidence and remember ideation without execution is delusion I want you to start acting I mean confidence really is a muscle start acting on these ideas even tiny incremental improvements and execution ability today we'll build this momentum over time write small daily improvements over time will lead to stunning results so make those improvements today right so tomorrow is an even better day I'll talk to you in the next mastery session thank you so much for being with me this is Robin Sharma I hope you receive great value from this mastery session if you'd like to receive potent training videos blog posts learning tools and information on my two live events personal mastery Academy and my flagship 4-day experience the Titan summer go ahead and visit Robin Sharma talk

Channel: Robin Sharma

Views: 637,180

Keywords: Robin Sharma, Mastery Sessions, Mental Mastery, Toolkit, Better Life, Confidence, Titan Summit, Alchemy, Seasons, TBTF, Bulletproof, Tight bubbles of total focus, negativity bias, stop comparing, Change-makers, game-changers, generate confidence, deconstruct, deconstruction, legendary success, natural ability, Personal Mastery Academy, how to, build confidence, become confident, become fearless, become successful, lose fear

Id: okqrdrmCedo

Length: 21min 35sec (1295 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 13 2016