If You Can’t Change Your Emotions Do This Instead | Hal Elrod on Impact Theory

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everyone I hope you enjoyed this episode and today it's brought to you by our friends at Wix we all want to fulfill our potential and sadly most people don't and I believe that it's because this is what we want in our lives this is who we are [Music] [Music] hey everybody welcome to impact theory our goal with this showing company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams all right today's guest is the best-selling author of miracle morning and then of these highest-rated keynote speakers in America his book has sold more than 600,000 copies worldwide has been translated into 27 languages and his teachings are being practiced by more than 500,000 people daily in more than 70 countries but all of that almost never happened at the age of 20 he was involved in a catastrophic drunk driving accident that was so violent it ripped his car in half and actually took his life his heart stopped beating for a full six minutes and over the next week as he lay in a coma he died two more times after seven surgeries in just six days to repair the extensive damage he sustained including 11 broken bones he finally stabilized but doctors warned that he may never walk again but not only did he walk again through sheer force of will he ended up running a 52 mile ultra marathon and recovering fully but just as everything in his life were finally humming along he found himself near death once again this time it was a very rare very aggressive form of cancer that took him from symptom-free to the verge of multiple organ failure in just days he immediately began a brutal chemotherapy regimen and once again through discipline of thought and action saw his way through and back to health but just surviving is not his mission he wants to help others thrive as well and his unique ability to teach the lessons he's learned are allowing him to do just that so please help me in welcoming the man whose book has over 2,000 five-star reviews on Amazon the Hall of Fame business achiever how Elrod good to see you yeah you as well dude very excited to sit down and talk and what's crazy is even all the madness that I talked about in the intro I didn't get to cover one of the crazier parts which was what happened when the economy went bust in 2008 you lost like half of your income and had to fight your way back from that yeah and I want to understand like the thing that really seems incredible about you is your ability to regulate your emotions to get back on track and to keep pushing forward so what was that like in that moment you said that you were depressed or close to depression how did you restabilized well so was 20 when I had the car accident in a year and half before that I had started a career in direct sales and I learned something in my training from my manager called the five minute rule and he said that when you're out there in the in the field you're gonna have disappointment you're gonna have rejection you're gonna set a goal for the week you're not gonna hit it you're gonna hit it and then have the order cancel like he's like you're gonna deal with a lot of stuff it's a microcosm for life and he taught us what he calls the five-minute rule he said so when things go wrong we have a rule it's okay to be negative but not for more than five minutes give yourself five minutes set your timer on your phone you would literally teach us at the timer you get five minutes to bitch moan complain cry event punch a wall whatever and after five minutes you take a deep breath and say three really powerful words can't change it and it's simply an acknowledgment that I can't change what's already happened so there's no value in wishing it were different and essentially I learned through reading Eckhart Tolle on things through years after that every negative emotion that we have is self created by the degree of resistance that we have to our reality whether it's past reality whether it's happening right now or whether it's even a projected future reality that we're afraid of and so in the span of five minutes I woke up I was told I would never walk again United eleven broken bones permanent brain damage and I went well can't change it and the doctors thought I was delusional because I was so happy and I told my dad I said dad there's two possibilities number one the doctors are right and I'll never walk again and I said and I've already decided that possibility okay I'm in a wheelchair the rest of my life I promised dad cuz my parents were concerned the doctors were concerned said I promise I'll be the happiest person you've ever seen in a wheelchair because I'm in a wheelchair either way I'm gonna be happy I'll be grateful why be miserable just because that's my unchangeable circumstance and I said possibility number two is I will walk again and I don't even know if it's possible but I do know that that's what I want so I've accepted the worst-case scenario I'm at peace with it and all of my energy is going into walking again I think about it every day I visualized that I pray about it I talked about imagine it and a week later the doctors came in with routine x-rays and they said we don't how to explain this but your body is healing so quickly we're gonna let you take your first step tomorrow and that was three weeks after the accident it went from like never walking again I'm thinking maybe like in a year not in three weeks and then I took my first step the next day so I share that kind of backstory because every adversity that I've had since then I'm able to leverage the lesson of hate if I can't change it the only intelligent choice I have if I want to be happy is to accept it 2008 was hard it was actually harder for me to deal with in the car accident and I think the reason is the car accident was the worst thing I'd imagine happening to me happen and then it could only really get better from there like I was in the hospital I woke up from a coma it's like okay I'm gonna heal over time right with the economy when it crashed it's like I lost a couple clients I'm delusional first of all right like there's a fine line between optimism and delusion you probably cross it too but I but I would people be like you know you were worried about the economy I go I create my own economy I don't watch the news I don't pay attention to that right and I guess it was you know I'm losing client after client after client after client because they were affected by the economy they couldn't pay me and after I lost my first client I went oh man can't change it five-minute rule alright that's a bummer man I've never lost a client and then within a matter of weeks I lost you know about a month I lost half of my client half of my income couldn't pay the mortgage and so I got really scared and really depressed like they can't change it thing wasn't work because I would just kept getting worse and worse and worse and worse and worse like this downward spiral so yeah and that's that's when I did some google searching I was just simply trying to figure out what are the world's most successful people doing that I'm not doing and I kept coming across morning rituals and morning routines but I went not a morning person like what else do they do like where's the night owl like success plan right and I finally saw one I remember the headline but it caught my attention and I went I got to read this and I dove in and this was 2007 so more like morning rituals now everybody talks about him they're all over the place they weren't quite as prevalent and I realized that it was the one thing that most of the world's most successful people had in common and then I went okay I'm gonna wake up an hour earlier tomorrow and start a morning ritual then the question was what am I gonna do during that hour to really maximize it I want it to be the ultimate morning ritual so I ended up continuing down my google searching and came up with six it was meditation affirmations visualization exercise reading and journaling and I went which of these is the one thing I should do which is the best which is gonna change my life the fastest and the Epiphany happened when I went what if I did all of these what if I woke up tomorrow I did the six most timeless scientifically proven personal development practices in the history of the world that you know for centuries they've been working for people and the next morning I woke up even though it wasn't morning person did all six and I went from being depressed and scared to like my mental and emotional I was at a peak I went wow if I started every day like this it's only a matter of time and it was less than two months that I doubled my income decided to run that ultra marathon that you'd mentioned um and it felt like a miracle I told my wife I said sweetie this is like a miracle she said it's like your miracle morning I go yeah it's my miracle morning they say writing my schedule is my miracle morning it was never a book idea and the lightbulb went off that I went well if this is changing my life and I wasn't a morning person and it's changing all of my clients lives and none of them were morning people this could change the world like I have a responsibility to get this message out there and it's such an extraordinary story when you were telling that you said something that really caught my attention and that's the the duality of I accept that I can't change it and there's something that I really really want so maybe I'm never gonna walk again and I can come to peace with that but over here I'm thinking I'm praying I'm visualizing about getting up and walking and I know that you've used that in other places in your life how do you maintain that duality how do you talk about that other people because to me I've always told people you have to be able to hold to conflicting ideas in your head like it is and I I don't remember where I heard this but that one of the hallmarks of real success is the ability to do that and hearing you talk about it when the stakes are as high as I may never walk again was the first time I heard somebody that had that much on the line talk about the duality tell me a little bit more about that and how you manage that yeah and you mentioned how do I talk about that or teach it right like when I'm brought in I'm brought in every keynote that I give is the miracle morning it's always like a CEO that read the book is that you gotta come teach our sales team or staff or whatever right so that's why I'm brought in for ten years as a keynote speaker I was telling my accident story and teaching this lesson of the power of accepting what you can't change and giving yourself the gift of emotional what I call I called emotional invincibility right and it's where you're invincible from any emotions controlling you and you're in control of your emotions and so um I talked about how we out what you said the duality where the more we want something usually the more disappointed we are when we don't get it right and you know or devastate right the more we want it right it's that spectrum of if you really are like if you want it more than anything in the world and if you don't get it your deficit you're suicidal I mean you're right and so um I think that for me what a it takes practice now we say this is the audience I go how many of you think this this is really a powerful idea it makes a lot of sense but it's easier said than done and everybody's hand goes up like yeah this is crazy right Ali yeah I get it but I don't know how I can't do that and it's because we're not addicted but we're simply we've programmed ourselves over our entire lives the way we respond to adversity is the way we respond to adversity right so for example traffic is usually a low level of adversity if you're running late and you leave late cuz you woke up late or kids were getting whatever it was you at traffic what's the response normally frustration I'm stressed I'm frustrated right and we literally spend the entire drive so let's say it's normally a 30-minute drive to work and it takes us 45 or whatever because of traffic you live in LA you write you know it better than anybody but we spend that entire 45 minutes literally killing ourselves right being that we're stressed out we're tense were frustrated we're riding the car in front of us like does that work does that that doesn't move them right you know and I realized that so people think well I'm upset because of this thing we always have something to point to of course I'm angry look at what she did of course I'm sad look at what I lost of course I'm frustrated I need to be at work in a half an hour and this is gonna take me 45 minute right we think it's the thing we always point at the thing and when I realize it's it's it's never the thing it's our resistance of the thing so when I I was like anybody I hit it traffic and I'd be frustrated or upset or you know mad at myself that I left late or mad at the person that made me late or whatever and then I went wait a minute I actually used up these wristbands that said can't change it that I used to give out to high school students after me speeches and I'd be driving and I would go I'd see my wristband I'd go oh yeah wait this applies I can't change traffic or take a deep breath and I would just go I'm gonna enjoy the ride like I'm go and I would turn the radio on and enjoy and so all of a sudden traffic had zero control over my emotional state and so whether it's traffic or it's being in a horrific car accident we are completely in control of our emotional state and the the key that unlocks the door to emotional invincibility if you will is acceptance its accepting it and so let me let me wrap this up answering your question of how do you get there for me it was logic I went okay I can't change that I was in a car accident time I get league what I said with the wheelchair thing right so in a wheelchair the rest of my life I can either be miserable in a wheelchair and and blame the wheelchair and the drunk driver and the car accident and all that from that's why I'm miserable right that via the victim mentality I thought that that's no quality of life and so I think for any of us we go well yeah I don't want to be stressed out in traffic so virtually the only choice we have if we don't be stressed out or or depressed or you know and I'm not talking clinical depression that's a different state but right is to accept our circumstances unconditionally that's where I called emotional immense ability that's where when you get to that point of where you've accepted everything that's ever going to happen to you and you've made peace with it before it even happens what happens you're like oh okay the soft worst thing that could ever imagine but I can't change it so I'm not going to like problems are difficult enough to move through and overcome why add emotional turmoil to those problems it doesn't help you get through the problem in fact it simply makes it harder it takes longer or it prevents you from solving the problem altogether because you're so emotionally engaged in it you can't see you know the sunshine through the clouds yeah now that makes so much sense and I think having that emotional resilience is is life-changing now you said something that I think is really powerful and that is when you're dealing with people that really want something it's the thing they want most in life where they're about to lose something and it's the thing that they're most terrified about losing what do you say about still allowing yourself to want something believe in it even though the more you invest in getting it the more you think about it people can feel like the farther I'm going to fall like the more people I tell I'm doing this the more people I potentially embarrass myself in front of when it doesn't happen how do you help them deal with that potential fear of embarrassment or failure or just outright disappointment I think that if you like if you go to the age-old adage everything happens for a reason I believe that's true but not the way that we've been taught or conditioned to think right usually most people that's used in a circumstance where something terrible happens right you lose something or right away everything happens for a reason it's gonna be okay you know you're like screw you and your reason so to me it's it like Chris people think it's predetermined right or they look up to the heavens and they're like why why did this what did I do to deserve this right like they're searching for a reason outside of themselves and it's really just perpetuating the victim mindset versus I believe that everything happens for a reason but it's 100% our responsibility to choose the reason and so I think that if you can go into any endeavor pursuing it knowing that if I fail at this and and and and on a side note you know the book failing forward by John Maxwell and if you've read that right but that was a huge game-changer for me where I went you know almost every successful person failed at something that they really worked hard for they were striving for they might have committed their entire life to and then they failed and then they learned and grew from it if they if they chose to do so and then they achieve something even better right you know every relationship that ends Lee creates a space for a new relationship right every venture that comes to a you know screeching halt create space for a new venture so so I'm not saying that it's easy and you might need the five minute rule or and if you need five days they're like you know and by the way I don't think negative emotions like call them negative I don't mean they're negative meaning there's value in all emotions you know if I were to lose a loved one I would grieve and I think it's healthy to grieve right if a man accosted my wife I'd probably pull anger out of my pocket and right get a little right you know I mean so so there's definitely valuable even all emotions but the difference is is whether the emotions are controlling the person right because they they think they don't understand they think it's the thing that's causing the anger and because of the thing that's out of their control the anger is out of their control right so I think that once you take full responsibility for your emotional state no matter what's going on around you it's always about what's going on inside of you yeah I really like what you said about things like that one being a choice and two that you're creating space rather than that oh the ending of a relationship means that you're gonna have another relationship which is not always a case but it does create the space for you now to act in accordance with what you want to get something new and different but then what you were saying about looking outside yourself looking to the heavens why did this happen to me it's a pretty strong impulse and I have to say in hearing your story I was like I might have thrown up why is this happening to me when you got diagnosed with cancer it'd be one thing if you lived like a you know if you're doing a bunch of drugs you're smoking eating terribly but you weren't you had if I remember right read a book about how to eat four anti-cancer benefits and had been doing that for years when you were diagnosed with cancer why didn't you say why is this happening to me I mean I definitely said that but with a smile on my face like god what in the heck like I already died I had like I had my big life-altering thing what can I possibly learn from another one and a lot you know in that it being the thing but I will tell you this yeah there was no emotional pain in fact so I was diagnosed because you had accepted life before it happens exactly yes um and and now and and to be fair like I have a new book coming out and I talked about this a lot there's old chapter or called emotional meant ability and I talked about this and I say look I had an unfair advantage and that I had like for a major the cancer thing where because I was able to look back and go the car accident was the best thing that ever happened to me because of who I became by overcoming it right by moving through it with a positive attitude and all of that um and also became my life's work talk to me about fear like it I I have a um from an emotional standpoint I am I will put myself in the almost emotionally involved in position like I've spent an inordinate amount of time on that yeah but I would have to process through some real fear even if it was just okay now what happens to my wife what happens to my family so how did you deal with that um here's an important piece of this is when it comes to accepting all things that you can't change death is one of those things so I made peace with death a long time ago and and I think that death is a big fear for all of us and to me it I've gotten the point where I realize it doesn't even make sense for it to be a fear for anything that's inevitable or that you can't change right that there's no point in in in resisting it and wishing it weren't gonna happen and in the way that I look at death is it's the other side of birth and we don't fear birth right but birth and death are both just as inevitable and there are two sides of the same coin that is life right but how man it's that's the one thing I've heard you say whereas I and I'll say why birth gives death takes or such is my perception right now and maybe you're about to give me a breakthrough and I'm so fucking open to that you can't imagine but like the the thing that that I really want to understand like how you've dealt with an intern is that that what and maybe I'm packaging it wrong when I say it out loud but that sense of I want something so badly and thusly I am terrified to lose it and though the wanting is so powerful and so important and so beautiful that I know I don't want to give that up but yet it creates the fear it is the I mean like the old Buddhist notion of life is suffering because you want things because you want things and you may not get them because you want things you may lose them like the love for a child I imagine I'm not a parent I imagine is transformative Lee profound but it fucking sucks you in dude and it gets you to the point where now like right now I'm not afraid to die except for my wife legitimately for myself yeah whatever like I I won't say that I'm not bothered but it's like not a grand fear of mine even though I talk a lot about living forever that's me moving towards something not away from I don't I'm not moving away from death I'm moving towards the things I would be able to do if I could live forever but dude the thought of having kids or the thought of leaving my wife mind that shit makes me emotional yeah and so I really want to know like how did you process through that because in there somewhere is is a breakthrough for me if nobody else yeah so that was the hardest thing like said because I've made peace with death I was imagining my wife and my kids losing me and especially my kids like the most important thing in my world in my life is that I can influence my children in a positive way to set them up for a great life right and so that that I might not have that opportunity was the the hardest thing to deal with I think that part of it is I didn't spend a lot of time on thinking about that right so that's the thing is people that have a lot of fear you're thinking about the things that you're afraid of right you don't have the fear of if you're not thinking right if you're not thinking with the thing you're afraid of but as soon as you're think about the fear comes up so for me I use affirmations a lot too that's one of the miracle morning practices affirmations and affirmations I think have a kind of a bad rap you know like Stewart small you know I'm good enough I'm smart enough and people like me and then they're taught by like a lot of self-help pioneers is like lie to yourself it's gonna be a millionaire just say I am a millionaire over and over and over until you believe it right but we're if we know the truth you're like I am a millionaire you know your brains like do no you're not right you're like shut up I'm doing my affirmations right like soon at the point is the way that I view affirmations is they simply direct your focus on wherever you want your focus directed so you can literally like a computer program you can go okay what are the beliefs that I want to focus on so they expand inside of me even the thoughts that I want to focus on what are my values what are the behaviors that I need to embody right so so you read these affirmations every day and you're programming yourself to live in alignment with that program that you've designed right so I add these my anti-cancer affirmations which I still have I use those to manage my mindset right so if I have a fear I will look at what's the opposite of the fear what's possible so I could die yes does focusing on that I might die and dwelling on that and right and thinking about that and going down that rabbit hole and most people live that they live with their fear that's where their focus is so they're consumed by fear right for me I go oh yeah this could happen and that's that's not what I want to happen so I'm gonna accept it make peace with it and then I would put all of my energy into what I want an affirmation some your the best way to do that because if we if we if we leave our brain up to whatever it's up to dude it's like you know it's like a pinball bouncing around it's like negative thought negative thought negative thought I have positive the negative thought negative it right and so we can't trust our brain you know until we've conditioned it right but so if someone's consumed with fear right utilizing affirmations every day that you combat the fear yeah give me the examples of your anti cancer affirmations I think there's statistically sadly a lot of people watching this that are battling cancer right now and it might be particularly useful before I say shared that I want to say because for people battling cancer I want to share what I did um that's different than most so I'm like you said I had watched a documentary called Healing cancer from the inside out like five or ten years before I got cancer and I'd lived an anti-cancer lifestyle yeah how am I getting cancer I literally like a plant-based diet I you know I don't understand so I went to my dump my oncologist when I was diagnosed and I'm Mike my yeah my my lung was collapsed my kidneys were failing and my heart was on the verge of failing when I went to my oncologist and that was like what happened from healthy to a week or two later and I said hey I'm not big on chemo it I view it as you know it's poison it's very toxic I would like to you know heal my cancer holistically and I've been doing a lot of research on that can you support me in that and he said how I appreciate that you want to do that but he said you're you don't have a cancer that you don't have that luxury you've got about a week to live if you don't start chemo maybe maybe a few days he said look a week oh you were healthy now your heart lung and kidney is on the verge of failing he said this is one of the most aggressive fast-acting cancers and you you literally have a few days maybe a week and I thought it was a scare tactic right I was like you know like in my head like kind of middle finger like I don't know let me I said give me 24 hours let me go home and I'll find out the truth all from Google and so I consulted dr. Google right and basically found out that oh he wasn't exaggerating so I found out that was true so I basically almost against my will like everything might my values my beliefs I had to go get chemo it's the most intensive chemotherapy regimen to my knowledge isn't that there is and so that even made it harder and it's a 20 to 30 percent survival rate so I go so what you so you're gonna put this poison in me and I have a twenty to thirty percent chance of surviving and the side-effects on one of the chemos in particular so I had acute lymphoblastic leukemia the side effect was may cause leukemia and so what I ended up doing because I felt like my hand was kind of you know armless forced I had to do the chemo so here's what I did though and I think this is what not only saved my life I mean in the chemo I believe definitely saved my life but my symptoms and it was it was I went it was hard but I had less I had a an easier time than a lot of people that were getting one hour of chemo and month when I was getting you know 70 or 80 or hunted whatever it was and is what I did is I did everything holistically that I would do if I weren't doing chemotherapy so and I didn't you know and I had never found anyone that really had done that it was usually either or but so I did coffee enemas right there's nothing no effort more extraordinary than you know sticking a tube in your butt I took like 70 supplements a day I did you know my diet was it was already on point so he's gonna you know kept added juicing and some other things I did ozone saunas I did acupuncture I mean you name it right I did everything I could and I combined the two and like when I asked my oncologists hey chemo is really toxic to your liver and some people get a lot of disease from that what should I do to detox and he'll be like you know we give you a saline flush it's fine right so so they the the medical community right they're not there don't learn anything except what's in the textbook that they go to school for and so um so for me I did Everett you know I googled how to detox your liver right so taking milk thistle to detox my liver and the coffee and I mostly talked to my liver and you know and all of these things so I just want to share that because like you said people watching might have cancer or know someone that does anyway so sorry I got no bar done really really interesting and another thing along those lines that I want to talk about is you said that obviously you kept your mindset the way you've always kept your mindset you're very positive you knew what you wanted you had affirmations but you said those work when you're not like just doubled over in agony but in the days you're doubled over and agony it it basically knocks you for six how did you deal with those days how did you bounce back rebuild your mindset so here's what's interesting is when we well I experienced negative emotions right and the difference is what do you do with that emotion right so the emotion isn't the problem it's what do you do with it and so what one thing that I've learned and it's really powerful and I didn't I I've learned this price in the last few years in fact it was a cancer lesson I don't know but um it was that when I have a negative emotion you know you wake up and you feel depressed what like I feel just horrible I feel I have no confidence today I don't know why rightly hormones or something's going on right and what I realize is that it's not that's emotional state that's the biggest problem for most people myself included it's what we do with that state and we usually judge it and we get we get afraid that what why do I feel this way and the problem is human beings we're not good at space by creating understanding um like what's the word spatial awareness in terms of time we think the way we feel is just how life is right like we is this all-encompassing like oh my god this why do I this is how I'm gonna fill the rest of my life like we don't understand that no there's temporary it might last a day it might last five minutes my like don't make a big deal out of it that's the that's the most simple way I could put it don't make a big deal out of it so when I had negative emotions with cancer I didn't make a big deal out of it I go this is temporary so when you feel in a negative state simply just remind yourself it's temporary and even just smile go man this sucks hopefully it's not too long that I feel like this because I don't enjoy it but don't don't give it a lot of importance don't give that that temporary emotional state a significant amount of significance right just go this is temporary I accept it you know whatever and so yeah so I mean there were a lot of hard day and there were days where um you know my I mean I had this infection where my entire face roll up like the Elephant Man my I was completely shut I had horrific migraines um you know when you're in physical pain you know I mean I'm like anybody I I wasn't super positive I was like but but if I was a positive is like it's always be as positive as you could possibly be even when you're going through those difficult time in your life and that was the thing with cancer with the car accident and that's the lesson for everybody is that we can choose to be consciously choose to be first you accept what you can't change and then you go what emotion would best serve me and I think more often than not it's gratitude and happiness for the most part or optimism you know as an emotion but we can be the happiest and the most grateful we've ever been while we are going through those difficult painful scary time in our lives and it's and it doesn't and here's the thing it just makes it that much easier it doesn't mean that it doesn't suck but it means that you're not letting the fact that it sucks completely control your emotional well-being you're going this sucks you know but I'm gonna make the best of it how do you talk to your kids about this man because how old are they my right now and they just turn nine and six so when I got cancer that was which I asked my to anniversary of being diagnosed about a month ago so they were four and seven and how do you talk to them about that how do you try to give them mindset around what you went through how to think about it for themselves my daughter her she went right when we told him I had cancer and the way that we you know told them as hey I have I have cancer and some people died from cancer but I'm gonna do a lot of things that those people don't do right you have to explain the way that a child will understand you know um and I said I mean I actually have a plan I'm gonna do a lot of things that most people don't even know about that are gonna make it so that I'm gonna beat the cancer like I have no doubt in my mind and they're like okay and then my daughter goes to school like the next day and she says my dad has cancer you know she's telling people her classmates and her friend goes oh my my grandpa died from cancer you know and so she's like oh my god right so so yeah but that was that was the whole thing was kind of just maintaining my mindset which is so I have this thing called the miracle equation III came up with when I was 20 when I was in sales and it was to break a record that I had a very limited amount of time and it felt like doing it would be a miracle it was like pre-miracle morning it's just a coincidence that I guess I like the word miracle I don't know but it's just a coincidence that there's even a correlation but it is my new it's the book that's gonna come out next year so I've been working on it um but here's the miracle equation and it's it's how you create miracles which and when I say miracle right I don't mean party in the red sea or biblical miracles but I mean extraordinary results that are beyond what you even believe is possible right it's really simple two components unwavering faith an extraordinary effort and if you if you if you if you break down any person in history yourself included that has accomplished extraordinary results beyond what they maybe as children or whatever point in their lives even imagine possible right I'm sure you with you know quests and stuff you've done you you're like I can't believe this is like I do how do I like you know I can't believe this happen right but every single person they those were the two common denominators they established faith that they could accomplish something that they had never accomplished they had no evidence there pass that they were even capable of it right so they they just went out on that's why it's faith right it's out on a limb like I can do this I don't know how but I can do this right I'm going I'm committed I'm going to do it and then the faith the unwavering piece is that most people even if they like start out that way as soon as they hit an obstacle a failure as we talked about right the faith wavers they're like oh never mind I guess I I thought I could do this but apparently not right so the faith goes out the window the second piece extraordinary effort most people as soon as the faith goes out the window the effort follows right behind it because it's like well what's the point even trying if I don't really believe I can do it but every person that's had a that's created extraordinary results that changed the world that's become you know financially free whatever the result is they established faith that they could do it the faith was unwavering and they put forth extraordinary effort until and the operative word underlined the word a circle the word until until they got there we're programmed in the past and we need something in writing to program us based on what we want for our future yeah that's pretty extraordinary man what do you think is like the key trait that you have that has allowed you to be successful to build this mindset like what's that foundation because I know a lot of people they love what you're saying dude they're in like they buy into it but like there's it's like they can see the latter but they can't reach the bottom rung like what's that like foundational trait that you cultivated in yourself is it optimism is it something that simple or I'm glad you asked the question because like I I've you myself as a lazy person I view myself like I have so many insecurities i I don't view mice and I'm like really using affirmations to keep trying to see myself as different in fact the other night I had this Epiphany she was last night it was last night in the hotel getting ready for this I had the fifty that I go and I wrote an anyone have an epiphany it goes into like this this affirmation app that I use right so that I can again can't have a thought and go it's great idea and then fall asleep and forget it you know so my epiphany was I still view myself as this 20-something year old kid who was trying to make it who wanted people to accept me who was trying to who really loved all people but felt like I didn't know how to get that across so people like thought I was a you know Punk 20 year old kid or whatever right so I so this is the point is right like I still deal with all sorts of insecurities and you know so I just want because I meet like I saw is it David buggins right I was watching his everything you know I'm like this guy's from a different planet like I don't have anywhere close to his discipline or will you know um so part of it is I've been put in circumstances that I that I have you know it was either like right fight or flight you know what am I gonna do I've had great mentors that have taught like the five-minute rule and the power of acceptance that was taught to me when I was 20 my parents they lost my sister died when I was 7 or I was 8 she was a year and a half and my just my mom and my sister at home and me and my mom was breastfeeding my baby sister a Marie and she all of a sudden I was across the hall sleeping and my dad was at work my sister was out of town and I heard my mom screaming my baby my baby and I'm kind of like coming to and I thought she was playing with her like oh my baby my baby and all of a sudden like I get clear that like the the horror my mom's voice and I run across the hall into her bedroom and Amory's dead in her arms oh shit heart failure and she was born of the really rare condition my parents within a within a matter of it was less than a year my mother devastated but she found that a support group for parents that had lost children like under the age of five or something right so she led that for years they started a fundraiser to raise money for the hospital that that cared for a Marie while she was alive and so I really I didn't even know it then but I learned right I think it was planted in me that you take adversity right and you you find the advantage or you turn it into an advantage right tragedy into triumph I mean um so I think it's just the conscious choice to to take to an optimism as probably yeah I mean that might be the simple way to put it optimism and and then I will throw one other quality in there which was a chosen learned quality which is what really led to the miracle morning the day I've came on the mirror good morning and it wasn't called that but I heard a quote from Jim Rohn and Jim Rohn said your level of success will seldom exceed your level of personal development because success is something you attract by the person you become and in that moment I went dude I'm not dedicating time every day in my personal development I'm in survival mode I just go into my office I just like work all day and really not productive I just spin the wheels you know and I'm in I'm in fear mode I'm in scarcity mode right and then I do that until I'm exhausted I go to bed that's my daily routine and for a while I think that's it you wake up you deal with life and then you go to bed right and I went there for because I'm not dedicating time every day in my personal development I'm not becoming the person that I need to be that has the knowledge and the beliefs and the energy and the qualities the characteristics the skills the talent right to create the results the success I want in my life and that's when I went I've got to create the most extraordinary personal development ritual in history of humanity and I got started doing it and that's how the miracle morning was born so the point is this I believe that that is one of if not the most fundamental key to success is that quote that philosophy from Jim Rohn and and here's the way that I equate it in my head if we're measuring success on a scale of 1 to 10 in any area of life I don't mean you know usually success we think like professional success I'm talking about your level of success in your relationships as a parent your level of physical energy your level of success you know in terms of your emotional invincibility rate on a scale of one to ten what level do we want 10 10 right nobody's like I don't want to be too happy I don't to be annoying happy like I just I'll do a 6 like I don't want too much money I don't want family coming out and asking it no no we all want like that's one thing we share in common as humans is we aspire like we actually all have an in us we all want to fulfill our potential and sadly most people don't and I believe that it's because it's for me I went okay I want level 10 success in every area of my life but like Jim Rohn is saying my level of personal development is like a tattoo maybe a three on a good day right now right and this is the disconnect this is what we want in our lives this is who we are and that's not a judgement it's just right in terms of our level of personal development and then I my epiphany was if I dedicate time every day to personal development I will gradually become a level three and then a level four and then a little seven eventually if I become a level ten person in terms of my beliefs and my knowledge and my habits and my skills I can only help but attract and create and sustain level ten success in my life so it's a result of who we become right and so I think that is you know optimism combined with a relentless dedication and I know you have it too and in almost any successful person on the planet does right to personal development and it's that idea that if I want to create an extraordinary life I have to become a level-10 life I got to become a level-10 person I love that awesome before I asked my last question tell these guys where they can find you online Hal Elrod calm or Miracle Morning Calm that is awesome my final question is what is the impact that you want to have on the world yeah of course a beautiful question and it feels good to have clarity on that and it changes to by the way I always tell people that so my mission in life is to elevate the consciousness of humanity one morning at a time one person at a time and I had a it was probably a year ago we were talked about somebody asked me this question were talking about it a friend and I had it like a realization I go this is kind of grandiose to say this but the miracle morning literally could lead the world peace and the reason I say that like right now we're working on doing a program in schools where across all grades from preschool to college where teachers start every day with the miracle morning with their students right so they lead them through it's a six minute version of one minute of affirmations one minute meditation one minute of exercise 1 min of reading right journaling all the way through and um my thought like imagine if every student in the world started their day with meditation out with those practices like it could end bullying how are you gonna beat up the kid that just you just you know you just meditated with and you heard his dreams and his M his affirmations and so on and so forth so um yeah so I'm seeing it in the community and around the world that that really as it elevates the consciousness of each person each morning there's a ripple effect that expands out to their world their families their communities CEOs are better leaders for their employees so on and so forth so yeah that's that's the mission that I'm working on damn good mission awesome thank you so much for coming on the show man all right guys there are few people in this world who get to show what their leadership is really about because they've been tested and I think after hearing his story I think it's very fair to say that he's been tested not once twice but three times and built that mindset by going through those things and really seeing in the trenches what works what helped and then bringing that back ups telling him before we started rolling the thing that I find so extraordinary about him is in the classic hero's journey the ending of the story is always the person bringing the lesson back to everybody else and teaching and that's how I see him I see him as somebody who is living the hero's journey and really engaging in that final most amazing piece which is to share the things that he's learned and I think as you engage with him engage with this content read the book you're going to see that you're gonna see the profound way in which he's able to really explain things and make it accessible to everybody else so that we can use this stuff in our own lives I think that what he says is just extraordinarily powerful and it works and it's the kind of thing that I've seen countless people in my circle that have achieved just amazing things in their lives they're all using the elements that he's talking about so like he says this really is tried-and-true stuff that a lot of people are putting to use his own community 500 thousand people every day wake up and do the miracle morning routine so check it out it is something that could be really profound in your life the affirmations a lot of the stuff I just think is unbelievably powerful so give it a shot I'd love to hear how it's working for you I think it's gonna serve you well if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends be legendary take care now my man the awesome impact to this I hope you loved that episode and now I want to take a moment to share with you about our friends at Wix it is no secret Wix is an awesome website building platform that lets you create your own amazing site with ease you may be looking to find a more fulfilling job start your own business create a blog YouTube channel whatever even put a portfolio of work together whatever your plan is to execute it starts with an amazing website so the world can get excited about what you're doing and what you're building and Lisa and I know this firsthand our very first business Billy Photography was built around our own website so we know how critical it is to reach your audience to build that site and then of course with quest that was everything building the site from scratch to get people amped up to build that direct-to-consumer relationship that was everything I just wish that we had Wix back then because Wix is the easiest and fullest featured website builder around and you can use it to create your own customized site for completely free Wix takes care of all the heavy lifting with reliable hosting to keep your website safe email marketing ideas simple ways to manage invoices and a whole lot more getting started is free it's that simple just click on the description below and what I love about Wix is that they give you total creative freedom what I mean by that is that it offers infinite literally infinite design possibilities making each website unique and original to your vision so to make it easy Wix has a straightforward site building process tons of site gadgets hundreds of templates for your very specific needs great mobile site building tools and and amazing support if you ever have an issue or question so there's a solution for any need that you guys have Wix blog Wix booking Wix restaurants Wix forum which stores and more but most importantly once you've created your website you'll be surprised at just how much that will improve your business traffic and opportunities with a professional and creative branding you know me momentum matters and I'm telling you that the easiest to begin building now momentum is to have a really professional high quality website that's easy to use and brings value to your customers it is the only way that you're gonna build that community that you need to actually get your project off the ground we live in the most incredible time where this is all possible and that is one of the many reasons that we love Wix here at impact theory and we're thrilled that we're able to bring them to you guys and help you on your journey all for free so whether you're a business owner advanced designer blogger aspiring hustler or anyone in between get after it with Wix just click the link in the description below and create the website that you want all right guys enjoy and be legendary take care hey everybody thank you so much for watching and being a part of this community if you haven't already be sure to subscribe you're going to get weekly videos on building a growth mindset cultivating grit and unlocking your full potential

Info

Channel: Tom Bilyeu

Views: 512,895

Rating: 4.9082475 out of 5

Keywords: Tom Bilyeu, Impact Theory, ImpactTheory, TomBilyeu, Inside Quest, InsideQuest, Tom Bilyou, Theory Impact, motivation, inspiration, talk show, interview, motivational speech, Hal Elrod, Hal Elrod Impact Theory, Hal Elrod Tom Bilyeu, hal elrod goalcast, hal elrod the miracle morning, hal elrod accident, hal, elrod

Id: g9yg5cDagJ0

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 47min 41sec (2861 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 05 2019

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