Become Mentally Tough After Narcissistic Abuse/Navy Seals Mental Toughness Training Tips

Many of us need mental toughness. For those of us who have been abused emotionally psychologically especially if you've suffered narcissistic abuse ooh and you've been gaslighted I mean that sucks so I know that I've experienced gaslighting and it is it is so mean and it's it's deplorable to think that someone's agenda is to set you on fire and watch you dance and then to point the finger and go look at that crazy person, look at her dance she's crazy you know they're sticking you with innuendos and they're insinuating things and they're saying things that no one else can hear and then they flash you a look and you react and he's pointing a finger at you or she's pointing a finger at you I believe that is so psychologically abusive and cruel but we don't have to be victim to it anymore so I want to teach you a couple of things that I learned from studying Navy SEALs and just stick with me Navy SEALs are some of the toughest sons of bitches on the face of the earth now most of them don't make it I think that is like 140 Navy SEALs that are come into the program I think only 36 make it and so a lot of them can't can't get through all these all these mental hopes that they have to jump through so I think it's absolutely brilliant that the Navy comes up with these this these training techniques to help help those who apply to become a Navy SEAL actually have a better chance of making it through the program so I want to share with you some of the things that I've learned about Navy SEAL mental toughness training so they call it the big four and the big four is goal-setting mental rehearsal which is visualizations and self-talk and arousal control which they control through in a nutshell breathing if you go through my channel you will see now this is something that I'm just coming into awareness now but I was amazed because I'm listening to how these trainers are training these Navy SEALs and I'm like oh my god that's what I coach you know visualization go setting thinking about the moment meditation breathing controlling what you can't control in the moment in the moment so there's was a very cleaned up version and concise and I wanted to share that with you because I think that it may benefit some of you who are feeling so pulled around by your history you're still reacting so let's let's get very basic and let's get very scientific okay so Navy SEALs work with neuro scientists and I've studied neuroscience because I wanted to understand my own brain and figure out where my linchpins were and so that's what I was fascinated about the amygdala and the hippocampus so when we're children we're very emotional our prefrontal cortex is not wired yet you have to know that you have to know that if you're stuck and you keep reacting and you keep attracting mom or dad or your brother or sister and your adult life you have to understand that you're stuck in a pattern and that when the pattern was created there was very little connection to the prefrontal cortex dear ones that's yuge do you know what that means it's like you freakin Rika seriously oh my god that means that when we were wounded our migdal --is which is part of the limbic system press the panic button so we felt fear felt fear of what fear of being abandoned fear of not being loved now when the panic button gets hit or activated we become hypersensitive and hyper aware our memory kicks in amazing that's why so many of us say I don't have any good memories because the brain is wired for you to recall and remember traumatic events incredible so there's I mean I can go just go off on a tangent tangent just on on that fact and how that's impact Our Lives you know and but I'm not going to because I'll save that for another video so now when we're little the prefrontal cortex is not fully wired get this the prefrontal cortex isn't even wired completely until we're about 26 so that means that when we're little and we're very emotional and we don't have this prefrontal cortex wired yet the limbic system is very very active so we're seeking approval and validation which is all part of the psychological milestones that we must hit when we feel rejected and abandoned it could be the slightest thing it could be mom turning away when we're crying it could be we fell off our bike and mom stayed on her cell phone and we feel wounded and that one sends a message to the brain that says this is bad and what the brain does is the brain it doesn't have the front prefrontal cortex wired yet the brain doesn't go hmm mommy's so self-absorbed and there she is talking to her boyfriend again and sure enough she's gonna ask me to tell my daddy that um she was on the phone and there she is acting like she's all into me and taking me to the park she don't give it damn we don't do that one two three we can't it'd be awesome if we could but we can't we're very limited in our understanding of the world so the amygdala is highly activated the hypo campus stores the memory and the pattern that we create to the event very very very important information when we're adults now so now we have triggers so now if I have this pattern my mom is very passive aggressive and very sarcastic and so I'm wired and I'm hyper vigilant because my brain is trying to do me a favor it's keeping me on guard for what I know and I have identified as threatening I'm not crazy because I'm hyper aware of sarcastic people what I'm not is doing the right thing Danger Danger Danger what I have to use my prefrontal cortex down and I have to understand that this danger danger danger is my focal point it is my point of Attraction I write about with want I write about it in quantum tools to help you reveal your life now your emotional setpoint is your attracting point huge dear ones yeah that I get angry amygdala to understand what I just said you have to connect to prefrontal cortex that's what all my videos are about helping you master and gain control over your mind so that these people that have abused you no longer have emotional control over you and you get to be free and you find your purpose your purpose is to fly your purpose is to become loving life why so that you can become a conduit a pure love energy so that you can transcend this pain so that you can become a beacon of light for other people your children will watch you ascend they might hate you now because they're stuck in the pattern the suck of the program that's okay mommy daddy just keep getting better because eventually they will see joy in you it will you would be illuminated it would be impossible impossible for them not to see the joy on your face the acceptance and the surrender and and and and the love that you that you emit so you just stay that is your purpose that's another point we need purpose alright but I'm going back to the UM the amygdala so understand via ones that the amygdala stores stores patterns and the amygdala has been hyper aware since for children and we have not learned we have not learned to think with the prefrontal cortex but information like this gets the prefrontal cortex activated you know for the rest of the video if you guys do this awesome awesome awesome tap that prefrontal cortex you know it'll help you stay connected like I got to think here I can't think here I got to think here blinders this is where the amygdala is in the temporal lobe act like minders get out of the amygdala sounds bizarre but you know to me so now Navy SEAL training that when they were Panero scientists they discovered that there were four key areas that helped me be seals that increase the odds of Navy SEALs fulfilling this program so the Navy SEALs think about what a Navy SEAL has to do a Navy SEAL is under complete total stress but he has to be able or she has to be able to override the stress response so a typical stress response is tied to adrenaline cortisol now the brain stem gets highly activated and the brain wants to either wants to send signals to flee or fight fight or flee when we're children we can do neither so we freeze so there are a lot of people that when this flood of adrenaline comes in it hinders the ability of the prefrontal cortex to make decisions so lots of people freeze I'm guilty of that so many times people said things to me in my life and I just froze because they wounded me and all this adrenaline shocked in my system and I was just frozen I didn't have the skills to react in a way that was really positive and in my best interest so I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that feeling stuck and frozen and waiting for the elephant to slide back onto the rug so what they came up with I repeated its goal-setting okay if you want to be mentally tough around your family of origin this is gonna help you goal-setting mental rehearsal which is visualization self-talk and what is this one Oh arousal control which is we control arousal through breathing so let me break it down for you goal setting so having short term goals brings order to chaos so if you're living with parents who are narcissistic and you know that you dare abuse it right if you don't set a goal and it could be as simple as I'm going to go brush my teeth so what happens is you commandeer the brain you come you give your brain direction you give order to this chaos it's not about long term goals most when you're in when you're in a traumatic situation like now it's about short-term goals that brings order to the mental field so I'm going to go brush my teeth you brush your teeth I'm going to clean out the sink I'm gonna spray out spray down the sink wipe it down I'm going to clean the floor get he has an easel in the floor I'm going to go change my clothes you go change your clothes I am going to get in my car I'm going to go to the grocery store it's a nursery store don't you find the first spot I can find ok go to if you find your spot I'm going to buy my apples and my bananas and M ciabatta bread butter it up so it literally is taking control and I say it all the time over your mental field you're bringing chaos to the current such are you bringing order to the current situation if you give them the habit of setting goals eventually you'll feel calm it's all about overriding the panic response if you are panicked you can't think straight if you're panicked you cannot grow the neural associations that you need the wiring you need to the prefrontal cortex so you've got to your goal must be to calm the mental feel mom's going apeshit ok calm the mental field your ex-husband or husband's going going going laugh it'll calm your mental field do whatever you can to calm your mental field great way to do that is goal-setting so and you don't want to give up you know when things are going rough you don't want to give up cuz the minute things start to calm down you're going to eat yourself so don't make split minute decisions to bail or go back to a narcissist when things are getting tough stick it out stick it out as soon as you know the dust settles you're gonna be so happy you stuck it out so let's say you bail in the middle of a tough situation you go back to narcissist you gonna hit yourself your name you know once the dust settles and no one is screaming it more you're gonna eat yourself so stick it out so um the second thing is mental rehearsals now what the Navy SEALs do which is very interesting is they have the Navy SEALs rehearse worst-case situations all the time it's so what happens is it's not like that when they're let's say the dropped out of an Arab you know a helicopter and there are terrorists on the ground or on the beach and they're coming out of nowhere so a Navy SEAL has practiced this scenario many times over so there is no panic there's no element of surprise you know I got this many seals like I got this you know so so that's how they use it I want you to use it a little differently I want you to because I believe in the law of vibration a lot of attraction so what I want you to do is I want you to visualize having those conversations with mom and but not attached to an outcome I want you to become desensitized to hearing the word know you're battling your ex-husband in court over child support I want you to or or alimony I want you to visualize it working out but not attach the outcome so it sounds like this now I'm testing out them it would be really great if when I showed up in court today it was just a very easy process it'd be awesome if you know my ex-husband was you know very amicable it would be great if I felt heard in court I hope that there's not a lot of chaos in the courtroom today I hope that I'm one of the first cases that get heard you know I hope the kids are okay with my sister today you know I hope that we have nice weather I hope that this is a patron out process so it's visualizing the desired outcome not attached to an outcome not attached to it so it's all about going general Esther Hicks says go general because when you attach to an outcome you create a cinder block so you're saying it has to be this way and guess what happens if it shows up any other way you're going to be pissed off so now you're going to know vibration it's all about paying attention to your vibration and going from so if you're down here and you're like whoa if you're down wait a minute if you're down here with your vibration and we want you up here what we want to do is we want to find ways to get you to be able to take take control of your vibration so you can get higher and higher and higher so go in general help to ascend attaching to it now come drops you down because if it doesn't work out that way you're in a negative situation okay hope you're writing this stuff down so this the third thing is self-talk fascinating piece of information the average human being has 300 - let me just make sure I get the statistics right I believe it's anywhere from 300 yet to 1,000 words per minute per minute pass through the mental field 300 to 1,000 words per minute pass through the mental field imagine dear one if you took responsibility for that now my kidding imagine if you if you took responsibility for those words that were flashing across your mental field Navy SEALs do it if they can do it you can do it if they do if they can do it and if it's good enough for them it's good enough for you it's good enough for me this personally I think we should be teaching kids you know then in nursery school how to do this and teach them that they can slow their consciousness I call it fyf flow you're a focus so it sounds like this and every time you find that your mind drops I was just you know I just blew out my hair before and I'm blowing out my hair it's something I do all the time and so I find that I don't need a whole lot of attention to do it mental clarity to do it and sure enough when I'm blow-drying my hair doing something mundane my consciousness drops and these thoughts that aren't even mine begins to surface because the brain the brain well the mental field just it's like it's like it's like the sky holds a cloud the brain holds thoughts and the brain can only play with the clouds that are in the sky or the brain can only play with the tools that are in the shed so but you have a choice because conscious evolved human being so you get to choose what thoughts are in this mental field but imagine dear one if you said huh three hundred to a thousand words per minute passed through my conscious field oh my god no wonder I named myself I am constantly talking about what's not going to happen you know I know that before I gained control over my mind I was thinking you know what when he says this that I'm gonna do that when she does this I'm gonna do that oh yeah I know what she's thinking she said this that she meant that I was driving myself crazy and I was actually using visualization to my disadvantage to my disadvantage I felt critical of myself because everyone was critical of me I thought people were talking about me because I they did because I grew up with people talking about me and making me feel less than so I wasn't crazy for thinking that other people were talking about me that was a fact that was a fact I didn't know at the time that I had control over whether or not I made that an important aspect of my life so when I accepted that people were talking about me and when I accepted that was evidence of their loss than their low level of self-awareness it was easier to let it go so we need positive self-talk so what's that sound like so that sounds like I tell them I tell all my clients and those that that you that um that take part in my teleclasses and group coaching classes we experiment it's positive self-talk so we're driving in the car and it's now I do this that's a beautiful tree I love this music that little girl so beautiful oh my god I love the color of that balloon wow that's a great pair of shoes wow that's a great car I would love to own that crown one day Wow look at that house man I wonder what that what the 48 of that house looks like I love her hair I wish my hair was that color Danny awesome oh that's a nice-looking couple they look so happy I deliberately do that because I want to a maintain my vibration and and keep it higher and I also want to send information to my brain that tells it what I want to experience in my life the brain needs a target that's how the subconscious mind works you give your brain a target and it goes to work for you the universe conspires to meet you and you will start to manifest differently so take control over yourself talk so when Navy SEALs are in the jungle they're not saying I can't do this if they hear themselves saying I can't they go to yes I can't I can do I can do I can do I can get to that next mile I can get to breakfast I can get to this next drill I can again short term goals go up short term goals I can swim to that buoy I can get my partner over that Ridge I can make it to that tree I can now make it to the next tree I can now so it's I can do verses I can't do imagine if you took responsibility for that imagine it would be amazing so remember you're downloading consciousness downloads the brain and gives it direction so the fourth thing that the Navy SEALs do and their elite training is arousal control so what they teach their SEALs is to control their breathing very long expirations that helps control the panic button in the body that helps to override the impulses of the amygdala which is panic and fear they use all of these techniques to help Navy SEALs especially pass their water training so what the what they do what the coaches do is they they put these Navy SEALs in pools of water and then they then the coach comes down and undoes their oxygen hose and the Navy SEALs gotta stay calm so very slow breathing I can do this I've got this all I've got to do is undo this wire undo this hose then put the mask back on again very short goals that's what helps these seals get through this train so imagine if you set incremental goals every day every day small goals every day imagine if you were teaching your mind to come forward that creates forward moving momentum dear ones I don't care how many and the goal is just set a bowl and achieve it and it will grow it will it will it's like that song you know just put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking out the door so imagine if you set small goals every day and that was your purpose every day imagine if you instead of rehearsing and beating the drum of situations you don't want to happen like I know my boss is gonna say no I know I'm not gonna get that job I know not qualified for that job so so is so much more qualified for the job I know she was being a bitch when she wrote that wrote me up I knew she did I know she did it on purpose I know she's talking about it behind my back imagine if your your visualization shifted - I know she's talking about me about me behind my back but that's okay I can't control comes out of other people's mouths it would be really nice if she started picking up something else you know or it would be really nice if she got transferred that would be awesome it would really be nice if I was completely unaffected by how she felt about me it would really be nice if her attitude changed that would be awesome it would really be nice if I got a raise at work without having to ask for it so that's you playing that's part - that's your taking care of your mental visualizations part three is the positive self-talk imagine if you took control that's like I think I think I've heard somewhere that that was like 270 oh actually those are impulses impulses travel through nerve impulses once your amygdala Mikula senses fear nerve impulses travel through your body at 270 miles per hour that's incredible that's insane so that's why we have to be mentally tough when we're in these situations with others because we are pattern to react we have to get out of that state of reactivity and these tools will help you so number one is the goal setting number two is the mental reversal number three is self-talk remember you're speaking three not three hundred to a thousand words per minute to yourself take control over that and the foreign thing is aroused arousal control which is what I coach my clients on is that's why I think meditation is so important you must slow down the mental field so if I'm to live I've come out of a meditation and I'm very zen you know I'm you Shin I'm very calm and I stubbed my toe my reaction to stubbing my toe is going to be a lot more controlled and a lot less ah dammit and we'll do that because I will have taken myself back and now I'm in control over my reaction so I really hope dear ones that this information inspires you to do your own work I keep all my information in in binders just like this like this I find something that's fascinating about the brain I write it down it's your responsibility to take care of your vehicle which is your body and it's your responsibility to take control over your brain or your mind it's your responsibility to take care of your soul you don't worry about other people you have a specific purpose if you've been led to this information know that I am a manifestation of what's resonating in you or this information is a manifestation of what's resonating in you if you are hearing the message you're meant to hear it now will you act on it it depends that saul up to you so dear ones i hope this has inspired you my purpose is to bring information to you as i receive it why because it brings more love and light to my planet and i believe in sowing karmic seeds now all I can why because I will not be here one day physically and my children will and my grandchildren will and my great-grandchildren will and so I believe in investing in myself becoming as much love and light as possible and helping you become as much love and as much light as possible so that we can keep the planetary vibrations high and know this also children that are being born now are being born enlightened they're coming in now the more of us in my opinion the more and this is something that's just I believe the more of us who awaken the more of us who stay turned on and enlightened the more children that are going to be born enlightened because children coming in will match the vibrations of the souls that are here so it is that was your purpose in one I don't care how bad your life is right now you have a purpose your life matters even if nobody in your experience ever tells you that your life matters dear one it is my honor to be your breakthrough life coach I look forward to your emails they keep me inspired for those of you who are interested in taking part in my next teleclass you can reach me at healing self-esteem calm my loving the self affirmations to hat is published I don't know when it's gonna be available on Kindle and Amazon but an iPad and the Nook but as soon as it's available I will send you a shout out on Google+ if you're not on my Google+ community please look me up Google+ adult children of alcoholics for dependence and impacts stuck in the past no more namaste bye

Channel: Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.

Views: 16,597

Rating: 4.9300828 out of 5

Keywords: mental training navy seals, mental toughness motivational video, how to, mentally strong, healing narcissistic abuse, codependency healing, codependency youtube, narcissistic abuse recovery youtube, life, self help youtube, adult children of alcoholics youtube, narcissistic abuse, lifelong learning, healing emotional pain, personal development, david goggins interview, impact theory, david goggins motivation, build mental toughness, emotions, self help, become mentally tough

Id: 98vVIkUhm70

Length: 27min 46sec (1666 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 13 2019