You know the subject burnout typically attracts
two different types of people that say, you know what, this burnout subject, I really
want to know a lot about because one, there's a group that always thinks they're burned
out. Yeah, yeah, I'm really going through burnout
right now. You don't understand, things are so hard because
I'm burning out. And then there's the other audience that says,
I'm confused, I'm not burned out. What's going on? I can push more. But I think regardless, both audiences can
get a lot from today's video. So stay with me here because I'm going to
say a lot of different things that maybe on one side contradict some of your mindset and
then on the other give you a couple of tools that can help you go through the process of
burnout. So first, let's process who goes through burnout. #1 is a person that's a perfectionist. A perfectionist, if everything isn't going
perfect, they're not happy. So this is just how they're wired and they
feel everything needs to be perfect instead of magical, they're always wanting perfection. The other one is a pessimist. The pessimist, no matter what you ever get
them, nothing ever happy. Everything could be going right. Kids are doing good, family's doing good,
business, career, they're never happy because they're pessimists. It's a mindset, it's a way of thinking. The other one's control freak. The control freak, you know, anything big
that expands, you have to lose control of. Anything big. Whatever expands, you eventually lose control
of. So if your business is growing, at some point,
you lose a little bit of control. When your kids are aging, and they're going
to school, creating their own opinions, you're going to lose control of your kids, like you
used to have than they were eight years old or five years old. You don't have control over your kids at 16
years old like you once used to have. But you've got to let go or else it's going
to drive you nuts, and you're not going to enjoy your life. You won't even enjoy these guys growing up. Or the Type A personality, super competitive
and sometimes a Type A personality will compare themselves to somebody who is 7' 2" and you're
6' 4", you're never going to be 7' 2". To someone who jumps 43" and you only jump
16", you can't ever do that. So why are you comparing yourself to that? To somebody who comes from a family with a
lot of wealth and you don't, they don't. . . but you're so competitive that you compare
yourself in every area instead of competing with what you've got and winning. You do a lot of comparing. That sometimes happens to Type A personalities. So now the cause. What is the cause of burnout? Sometimes it's neglect. What is neglect? Neglect meaning I eat fast food every day
at Burger King and McDonald's and I eat so many different burgers, I put on 39 pounds. My energy is low. I'm lethargic. I don't have energy. I'm burned out. That is neglect because of your diet. Neglect because you haven't done a date night
with your girl for the last six months. That's neglect. Neglect could be you haven't talked to your
kids or had conversations with them, neglect. Any of that stuff that's purely a cause. You neglect. Number two is overload. Overload could be always taking on more projects. Always taking on more friendships. Always taking on more businesses. People doing five businesses at the same time,
three different jobs at the same time, all this stuff. Instead of focusing on killing one of them
and doing a very good job, it's overload. That can cause it as well. Number three is lack of growth. If you're not growing, you're not seeing something
growing, there's nothing exciting about life. Because nothing is growing. So if you're not developing yourself, while
your business is going, but you're not developing, you're not seeing progress in you, that causes
burnout, because like why am I putting myself through this. Why am I doing what I'm doing right now? Working out. If you keep going out to the gym and nothing
happens, you don't see results, there could be burnout because you're not seeing your
body improving based on the hours you're putting into the gym. The other one is newness. Life needs excitement. Life needs new things. New experiences, seeing a new world, reading
a new book. You know, certain things that cause newness
in a family, that's exciting. There's new things to look forward to. There's new things to look forward to in business
and life. Then it's figment of your imagination. Let me tell you why I added this one here
on cause, what causes it. You create a problem that doesn't exist. You sabotage yourself to create something
that doesn't exist. And you make it a massive problem, but it's
purely your imagination taking control of your mind. And that turns into burnout because you created
this enemy. You created the animal in your mind. It doesn't exist. By the way, most people who think they're
burning out, they're having created this figment of their imagination into a massive problem
that's nonexistent. That's cause. Now, let's talk about people you go. Every time there's something that happens
in our lives, a crisis, a victory,, a loss, a setback, whatever happens, we typically
are going to go and speak to three different types of people. Okay? There's the downer, the upper, the Socratic
listener. Let me explain to you what I mean by this. The downer is somebody that you know, I just
recently last week man, our business was going through some challenging times and the downer
says, Dude, why'd you even go? I told you this thing never works. Man, that guy's making all the money off you. What are you doing with this thing? Downer. Downer, burnout, burnout, burnout. Yeah, you're right. It eventually stays, right? Why are you doing this, man? This sucks. You're putting. . . you get down. The upper is somebody that no matter what
you ever do, they always love you. Honey, you're amazing, I love you. You're great. You can do this. Go get 'em. You're awesome. You're amazing. That's a good person to talk to. Then the Socratic person is a person that
you're going through challenges and you feel like you're burning out, they take all of
your excuses and justifications away from you. They ask you questions. Are you really going through a lot of difficult
times? Is this real, what you're going through, or
are you creating it in your mind? Do you really think you're burning out? Do you. . . So they're putting it on you and you're
sitting there, there's a little bit of pushback so you're not too happy about it. But they're helping you grow and overcome
this, so that in your mind this imagination doesn't become bigger than it already is. They make it smaller because these guys tend
to by asking you questions and challenging you, they make the problem that you think
is this big, they make it this big. Those are leaders. Now watch. Whoever you go to, makes this [burnout] a
bigger event. If you go to the downer, this gets bigger. If you go to the upper, it alleviates. If you go to the Socratic questioner, it makes
it even smaller. My suggestion to you is, just like in sports,
when a player, a quarterback, isn't doing well, there's typically two different types
of personalities on teams that are always winning. That guy's going to go to an assistant coach,
where the assistant coach is going to say something like this, "hey listen, you're good,
bro. Go get 'em. You're awesome. Go get 'em. Man, you were meant to do this. You're an amazing quarterback. You can pull this off. You do this all the time. Do what you do in practice. Yeah, you're right! And then another coach that's going be after
the game, hey, listen, what happened? Why you'd handle that? Why'd you pass it over there? What would we do in practice? Did you really practice? Did you practice that hard? You think if you would have practiced you
would have been to this? You need both. Right? But if you go to the guy that says, Dude,
that's the worst coach of all time. You need to leave that team. You need to do this, boom, you're getting
right here [burnout]. So now, this is who, this is cause, this is
who we go to when we have issues. Now, here's some things that can possibly
help you out to not necessarily overcome a burnout, but to not even get there and not
even experience that. And by the way, I would much rather burnout
than rust out in my life. I would much rather go so hardcore in my life
where I experience a little bit of burnout than I do something that nothing big with
my life and eventually I rust out and I die. I don't want to be that person. And you don't either, by the way. Only when you really figure out what the maximum
potential of you is, by pushing your limits at times. And sometimes the great ones have to do it. That's if you want to be great. So let's go through some of these points. #1: Protect your yeses. Let me explain what I mean by protect your
yeses. You know how they say sometimes, hey, you
know, she was easy, or he's easy, or this stuff. Don't be easy. If somebody asked you, can you do this, don't
say yes to everybody. You're giving it up too easy. Protect it a little bit. Right? Protect your yeses. Say yeses to people that matter, that don't
typically ask you to do things for the hell of it. There's a lot of people that always want to
ask you for favors for nothing. It's always asking for favors and help but
there's never in return. Not only that, it's not really things that
produce the best types of results. So protect your yesses, on who you give yes
to. #2: Turn off your phone, actually turn off
your phone. This thing can be a big distraction in your
life. Turn this thing off and meditate or pray. I mean, I can tell you when it was September
of 1997, I was in the Army and I was going through hell. I was in boot camp. I'm by myself. There's not a lot of things good that were
going on in my life. I don't believe in God. I don't believe in faith. But I started praying like this. God, I don't believe you exist. But you know what? I'm going to talk to you. Odds are, you aren't there. If you are, maybe you can answer my prayers. That's how I started. Because a guy in the Army, you know, told
me to start praying. And I said, "I don't believe it." Just try it out. You know what happened? It was therapeutic just me talking to myself
and praying and meditating and having my quiet time. It allowed me to go through difficult times
of being in the military, by myself, at a unit where everybody's either from Mississippi,
Tennessee, North Dakota, South Dakota, their white, black, and I'm Iranian. Okay? And I'm going from Iran. Where are you from? Iran. Iran? Like I ran? Yes. What are you doing in the Army? I'm going through this. That allowed me to just be able to overcome
a difficult time like that so I wouldn't experience a part of this in my life. And then I ended up enjoying my experience
in boot camp, AIT in the Army, and it ended up being one of the best things in my life. But I needed some quiet time. You need some quiet times at times. #3, children. I don't know what happens when I'm around
kids, it brings out the childlike tendencies of ours, and all of us typically have a little
bit of childlike. When you're around kids, you tend to forget
about your problems. If I wrestle with my kids for 15, 20, 30 minutes,
it is so therapeutic, it's amazing. Go contribute to kids. Go give back to the community and do something
with kids. Go to your nephew, your neice, your kids,
your neighbor, whatever it is. Play with them. Play LEGO with them. Play nonsense stuff that they're playing. Just do that with them, and you'll calm down
fairly quickly. I can't tell you how therapeutic that is. Next one, quarterly getaways, especially if
you've got a girl, a husband or a wife. And what I used to do is quarterly, Saturday
afternoon I was done, I'd leave. Saturday afternoon go stay at a hotel, then
come back Sunday night, so it was a day and a half that I would do per quarter. But I was rejuvenated. I was fired up. And that typically my getaway had to do with,
there's something here with spa, when I was on my getaway, I'd go to a spa, I'd get a
massage, I'd get a facial. I'd come back and I'm relaxed. Quarterly. Regularly. That was phenomenal. And then annually, you work hard, go travel. I mean, I've been all over the world when
I travel. Mario you know, this Croatia, Athens, Venice
Italy, Guatemala, Maui, Caribbean, Bahamas, Cayman Island, Portugal, Spain, Nascar races,
Disneyworld, Kentucky Derby, Super Bowl, Pebble Beach, Dubai, you know, so many different
places. All these places I traveled to. And we normally would do one a year. Or two a year sometimes. you know what it would do? You know what it would do? It's just great seeing history. It's great seeing the world. It was fun. It was around other people who are winning. You had a chance to release, enjoy yourself,
eat good food. There was something to look forward to. There was a carrot. There was a victory. This always helped out. And I know that sometimes guys, there's certain
channels you watch and certain people that give feedback where it's like, no, I'm 24/7,
screw vacation, screw this, screw that. I don't. . . I'm going to do this till the day I die. I don't subscribe to that mindset. I think you've got to also work your tail
off and have victories. And those victories have to be being around
people that you enjoy being around and seeing the world with the people that you're doing
business with. Next, go somewhere to gain perspective. This is very good for burnout. Let me tell you what this is. It doesn't matter what it is. Go to the worst part of town, and contribute. Go to a homeless shelter and contribute. Go to foster home, go to a hospital where
it's the worst level of the hospital, these are on their deathbed and they simply want
to talk to somebody. Go to a senior home. Go somewhere to gain perspective. Go to third world country and see what it's
like. I'll never forget when I went to Guatemala
and we went to the worst part of the city. You gain perspective. You gain perspective and you realize what's
really going on, what life is really all about. You think your life is really that hard until
you go to a place and you say, I'm burned out? Are you kidding me? I'm in heaven! What am I complaining about? You know. We think life is so hard and we sometimes
forget the fact that our soldiers in Iraq or Afghanistan or in the lines, enemy lines
that haven't seen their kids for 12, 18 24 months, the birth of their child, they missed. And you think what you're going through is
hard because you're working 80, 90, 100 hours a week for six months straight? Perspective sometimes makes you realize - this
is why I told you the burnout people are not going to like this video, they say, "yeah,
I'm really going through a burnout." Perspective. Gain some perspective for yourself. Next, gratitude. Nothing like gratitude. What are you grateful for right now in life? Family, kids, relationship, shower, food,
bed. I remember I was in the field in the Army
for a long, long time. Not a bed. Nothing. We showered with baby wipes. You know, baby wipes don't clean everything. There's not really a bathroom you're going
to. It's the back 40. So it's like. . . anyways, I don't want to get to disgusting. I remember when I came back after the first
time I went to the field. I took a one-and-a-half hour hot shower. I just put my hands up, the water's hitting
my head, and you see the entire bottom is dirt and smell and clothes are nasty to the
point that even if you washed your uniform, it's still disgusting because you got to wash
it over and over and over with Downy and all this other mess. That shower, for an hour and a half? And that sleep in your bed at night, heavenly. But it made me realize, when is the last time
you were grateful for your mattress, your bed, your shower, hot water. Gratitude really takes a lot of pressure off. Music, depends on what kind of music you listen
to. Maybe Mozart, Beethoven, maybe it's Moonlight
Sonata. I don't know what it is that brings you, calms
you down. Have some kind of music. I probably don't recommend Luis' taste. Luis would probably listen to Tupac, but he's
got a complete different style. Mario, what would you listen to? Metallica. Give me a song. Sanitarium. What do you think Paul would listen to? What's Paul's taste? Voice to Men. I would probably say Voice to Men or Kenny
G or something like that Paul would listen to. Okay. So now what are we over here now, here's my
handwriting. Okay . Comedy, humor. You know how you have that one friend that
just makes you laugh? It's cool to sometimes be, when you've got
a lot of pressure, man, and then you got a comedian next to you, let me tell you, everything
is gone. Right? Go to a comedy club on a Saturday night and
just say look, I just want to go to a place, have a beer, and just listen to a bunch of
jokes, relax, come back. Or find a way to watch a video, prank, something
that calms you down. Humor has a lot of power when you're going
through a mode like this. Next is simplify life. Let me explain what I mean by simplify life. Look at every aspect of your life that's complicated
and create systems for it. So who do you let in to your life? How do you handle your health? How do you handle doctor, dentist? How do you handle expenses, bills, insurance,
kids, mom, dad, family, parents, business? Create systems for everything. Simplify. Don't complicate it. Simplify things in your life. You see so many weeds in different aspects
of your life. Why do you have that? Pull them out. No, I'm not dealing with this anymore. Simplify your life. Next, minimize relationships. I know this sounds strange for some people
here. I am not a fan of. .. . there used to be time I had hundreds
of friends. And I'm the type of guy I'm so loyal to my
friends that I want to make sure everybody's happy. And then when I realized this, I was being
drained. Because it was going like this [outward] and
it wasn't coming back like this [inward] all the time. And I always felt like I had to make sure
all my friends were happy. And all my family members were happy. And then I brought it down and I said, the
people that matter the most to me on the family side is my dad, my sister, mom, niece, nephew,
brother-in-law, that's priority. Right there. Okay? Now obviously, I'm not talking wife and kids. Because that's obviously number one because
that's family, family, okay? Friends. I looked at the list, and I really went through
it. I said, what really is genuine about this
relationship? We go to do this, what? I can't do this anymore. I just can't. How about this one here. He always takes. He never gives. So it's take, take, take, take, take and I'm
empty every time I'm done with this one. Him, there's motives. I don't know about this. Good guy, it's just we're at a different phase
of our lives. And I minimized it. Mario, I did a video on friends. What is that video called? Can you remember? It's something about friends. How to choose great friends. How to choose great friends. Let's put a thumbnail of it for you to see. I highly recommend everybody watch this video. It will give you a better perspective on what
to do with your relationships. Okay, Paul, Luis, let's not forget the thumbnail
so people can see it. Exercise. The more you move, you feel better. It's just body movement needs to happen. You feel better. I've never once gone to a gym, even when I
was not in the mood and left the gym not feeling good about myself. You probably never have done that either. Gym just makes life more exciting. Positive distractions. What's positive distractions? I don't know. Minimize negative distractions, but add some
positive distractions, a system that gets you away from the problem you're thinking
about that's getting bigger. Create some positive distractions, systems
in your life. Next is seek progress, not perfection. It's pretty obvious, constant growth. So the more you're growing, it's progress,
don't put the pressure of everything being perfect. I mentor a lot of people that are perfectionists. Quite frankly, their business never explodes. And I've worked on several of them for years
saying, stop trying to be perfect and justifying and making excuses for everything and deflecting
every problem because you want to be so perfect. Your business is not going to explode if you're
always trying to become perfect. But businesses grow when you focus on progress
and you enjoy it more when you focus on progress. And obviously last but not least is spa. Foot massage, massage, whatever you do, all
that stuff, it's figuring out a way for somebody, listen, you know why our hands are like this? Mario, come here real quick. I'm going to show him something. Look at this here. Look at how the hand is. Look at this handshake. This is why we're created the way our hands
are. Ever wonder why both of our hands are not
the same. Imagine my right and left. Because we're supposed to go like this. This is power. This is bond. This feels good. It's two of us. This feels very good. Relationships feel very good. Mario needs a hug right now. Are you okay? That's a cool way. Is that what it is? Look at this guy here man, he looks like a
gangster today with his hat on. Where'd you grow up, by the way? [Mario: I grew up in Inglewood, Compton, Long
Beach.] Inglewood. The high school you went where? The high school was Birmingham high school. We don't need to tell your whole story right
now. Listen, you know what would be great? How about Mario, one of these days, you do
a video on what it's like to be working with Valuetainment. You tell the truth. Everything. The good, bad, ugly. If you would like something like that, comment
on the bottom. Mario's going to do an episode on that. Human connection is needed. We are made because we need to be around other
human beings that lift us up as well. So strong relationships, when I'm talking
about the upper and the Socratic, this really makes the soul just happy, man. Strong, good positive relationships, I would
much rather have three incredible friends that I can talk about anything openly with
no judgment, then have thousands of friendships that I'm just, when I talk, there's always. . . so just increase the value of relationships
that you have. Mario, let's throw the pillow here. Good throw. And by the way, this subject on burnout, it
is probably something that a lot of other people are going through as well. Some of your employees, your executives, your
staff, your relatives, your family. It would not be a bad idea for you to share
this video with some of the people that you know because I do think. . . I probably said share this video maybe
on five different videos in my career, this is a video that many people will thank you
when you share this with them. If you have any questions or thoughts, comment
on the bottom. And if you have not subscribed to this channel
yet, be sure to subscribe right, I almost hit his face, be sure to subscribe, we should
have gotten that Luis, to hit his face, and he knocks out, it would have been so great,
slow motion, so be sure to click subscribe here, and the alert button to be notified
every single time a Valuetainment episode goes out. Take care everybody. Bye bye.
