How to ACTUALLY Rest if you have ADHD! #adhdtips

today I want to talk to you about rest and probably not the type of rest that might immediately come to mind for you I know for myself when I hear rest if a friend or a family member or a co-worker were to come up to me and say I'm so stressed out I'm so burnt out I need to take some rest what comes to mind for me is just sitting on the couch watching TV scrolling on your phone or maybe it's like going on a vacation that in my mind has always kind of been the definition of rest growing up I was a very high division soccer player and so I was taught that rest was the period of time between your practices and your games where you were still needing to take care of your body I was stretching and I was ensuring that my body was still moving and I was fueling myself in a way that was good and that was all rest and I think that definition of rest followed me into adulthood and so when I think of rest and when I was feeling burnt out let's say in University when I was so stressed in University holy like I wanted to be done and I was just completely burnt out and so rest to me was I'm going to go home lie in bed scroll on my phone not talk to any body and that'll be rest right because I'm not moving my body so that must be rest but here's the thing that type of rest never actually fulfilled me it might have made me feel a little bit better temporarily but in the long run it wasn't solving a much larger issue the thing is is that when I was just lying on the couch or lying in my bed and scrolling on my phone I would often also feel really guilty during during that time and I still face this where if I am just lying on the couch and watching a movie because I feel like I just need some downtime my brain will go into that space of you need to be productive you should be doing the dishes right now or you need to call that person and ask them about that thing and why are you not doing any of it and so that rest time is spent just feeling guilty and so I'm not actually resting and even if I weren't to be feeling guilty in that time time that type of rest of just lying there and doing nothing doesn't always scratch the itch that I need and so what happens is I would fall into these periods of burnout just over and over and over again and I would cycle between getting really burnt out and then you know doing nothing for a couple of days and then going right back into it and then getting burnt out again and I would cycle through this over and over again and it was so un productive and what I realized in August of this year was that I needed to figure out a better way to be spending my time when I'm resting because I was getting burnt out so frequently so what I decided to do was do a bunch of research look into what the best doctors and psychologists in the world are saying to do when you are burnt out or to avoid burnout and what I learned blew my mind genuinely blew my mind did you know that there are seven different types of rest seven of them why why are we not taught this because here's the thing every type of rest is necessary for your well-being hear that again every type of rest is necessary for your well-being there's a good chance that you're already doing different types of rest without even knowing it I know that when I was reading through I would see one type of rest and go oh well I'm doing that and I feel really fulfilled in that area of my life so that makes sense because I'm resting productively in that area so what I want to do today with you is to go through these seven types of rest so that you can consider am I actually doing each type of rest or maybe you are but you're maybe not doing it in a way that is fulfilling you I realize that very quickly so let's go through the seven different types of rest and figure out how to actually rest as a neurod Divergent person or as anyone welcome to the busy be with ADHD podcast a podcast about tools and strategies for ADHD all while laughing at my very dumb but plump ass Haley Honeyman I'm an ADHD coach and influencer with the goal of helping my fellow ADHD Pals let's get into it so the first type of rest is probably the type of rest that you think about um as I do which is physical rest physical rest means taking a break from the physical activities that we do all day maybe you're at a really high demand job and you're moving all of the time or maybe you feel physically drained from sitting at your desk all day because that is just draining to sit in the same position all day maybe you have kids and you are running around all day it's physically really draining so there are different types of physical rest there's the type that you're probably thinking of which is if you have a high demand physical job or day-to-day you spend some time maybe stretching relaxing not doing a lot of physical activity maybe you get a massage to support your muscles but you lower your physical activity to get rest there is also a second type of physical rest and this is the type that I realized I actually need to do more of which is an increase in physical activity hear me out I spend a lot of my time sitting at my desk I'll be doing work all day I'll be editing things talking to people I'll be at my desk all day and my body during the day is not being fulfilled and so the physical rest that I need to take is walking my dog first thing in the morning ensuring that I have some sort of physical Outlet during the week such as going to training sessions with a personal trainer which I do um or going to workout classes with friends tonight I'm going swimming with my friends but that for me is actually physical rest from the physical activity I do all day if you sit all day your rest is going to be the opposite is movement actually so for me that was kind of mindboggling because I felt like at at the end of of the day when I feel really tired my body just doesn't want to sit anymore I'm like well I should just rest which means lying around which realistically is actually not the like a benefit when it comes to physical rest for me so the next type of rest is mental rest this is probably the other type of rest that you are aware of mental rest means taking a break from the constant mental stimulation that we face every day so think about you know your phone going off non-stop during the day or people asking just a ton of you all day at your job at your home wherever it is there are a lot of mentally taxing jobs and things you can be doing during the day and so what mental rest could look like is it could be turning off your phone no more notifications it could be avoiding social media uh media it could be turning all of your screens off it could be practicing meditation like mindfulness to give yourself an outlet to just unleash some of the you're carrying around with you from that mental load on a day-to-day basis the purpose of mental rest is that we give our brains time to recharge and process information which will in the long term help us stay focused productive and alert and so you have to think about how that looks for you I know for myself journaling is a really great way for me to process information and it's a great way for me to just dump my mental load out onto paper so for me mental rest can be journaling or talking to a friend and just getting the out there the next type of rest is emotional rest emotional rest means taking a break from the emotional demands that we face every day here's the thing I had never made the connection that emotional rest was was not mental rest and that they were in fact two different things when I was in my state of burnout what I realized was that my day-to-day was incredibly emotionally taxing because I was doing one-on-one coaching with clients every single day that you know have their own set of issues and I was holding space for them and I loved to do it but I didn't have any capacity or space for emotional rest in my day-to-day life so what emotional rest could be it could be spending time alone or maybe avoiding stressful situations maybe you know that family event that's coming up is just going to be so stressful and I don't want to deal with it an emotional restful Choice could be to decide not to go to that you could talk to a friend you could do some self-care or journaling as well for emotional rest is to give yourself a space to dump your emotions out too I find for myself emotional rest really looks like um spending time alone being by myself feels really good in that sense but also talking to people talking to a trusted friend feels really nice to just get all of the like H this thing happened and I have emotions about it and I need to talk about it so that's emotional rest and really the purpose around emotional rest is to give ourselves time to process our feelings which will help us maintain our emotional balance and avoid burnout there it is there's that word avoiding burnout comes from when we preventatively take emotional rest so something to consider the next type if you are a neurod Divergent person like myself this one is going to stand out the next type of rest is sensory rest uh-huh I said it sensory rest now this is for everyone but if you were neurod divergent This is especially For You sensory rest means taking a break from the constant sensory input that we face every day oh my God there's so much going on all of the time I know for myself when I worked in a corporate job it was just so much sensory input there were always people around everyone was talking all the time the lights were awful they were so bright and there was a lot of sensory input on a day-to-day and so when I went home my solution was often to lock myself in a dark room and just lay there and I didn't realize but at the time what I was doing was taking sensory rest now on a day-to-day for me I spend most of my time alone and I'm in control of all of my sensory inputs and so I don't really need that much sensory rest but if you are a person that you know has a lot of sensory input on a day-to-day basis and have no time for sensory rest this could be a good one to consider maybe you need to turn off the TV maybe you need to close your eyes and spend time in a quiet room like I did maybe you could take a bath or listen to calming music um practicing deep breathing or taking control of your sensory input so each of your senses finding something new for them that feels relaxing and calming the purpose behind giving ourselves sensory rest is that we give our bodies time to recover from the overstimulation that we experience which will in turn help us avoid sensory overload and will reduce stress and again this is for everyone but if you are neurode Divergent and have sensory processing challenges like I do that one's especially important the next one which I know when I ran my burnout recovery program this month this one surprised IED a lot of people this is creative rest creative rest means taking a break from the constant creative demands that we face every day now this might be interesting to you maybe you do not work in a creative field I happen to but a lot of people don't necessarily but creativity can be demanding in many different ways you might have to get creative at a job to find solutions to different problems um that is all creativity right and so when we take creative rest that might look like taking a break from the work you're doing um or it might actually require uh personal creativity such as pursuing a hobby that is independent it's not money making it's not involved with work it's not high pressure it's just fun having a hobby or engaging uh engaging in some sort of creative activity like drawing painting knitting cooking any of those things I actually find for myself cooking has become my favorite type of creative rest it is so supportive and so a reminder there that when we rest creatively what we are doing is giving our mind time to explore new ideas which will help to keep us inspired and motivated and so being creative can be creative rest and that's often how it looks right is being creative but just for the purposes of fun enjoyment and for your mental well-being the next type of rest this is number six is social rest social rest means taking a break from these social interactions that we face every day I know now think about this when I was doing my burnout recovery program I watched someone in our uh program have like an aha moment of holy that's what's going on because they work a customer service job they spend every day interacting with people and being social and not in necessarily a fun way but in a way that is demanding of them and requires them to be kind of on top of their game for the whole day and they felt really guilty that during the work week at the end of the day they didn't want to go see their friends and here is why it is important to understand the types of rest because what you're body was asking for this person in my program was social rest right their body was saying holy I've got so much social interaction in a day I just don't want to be around people right now and that's okay that's okay understanding social rest can also help support you with communicating with the people in your life you might be able to say like hey I have a super demanding job when it comes to being social and I find that during the work week I need the time to rest up so that when the weekend comes that social interaction can be with you and I want to do that with you right that's a really great way to communicate to someone why social rest is important so some of the ways that we can take rest in our social time is spending time alone avoiding social situations when we don't necessarily want them having solo picnics or hikes or like dating yourself practicing self-care and now this one is interesting spending time with close friends and family here's the thing about social rest it also shows up in two different ways I myself am what I call quite the extrovert I love talking to people I love being a part of a group I love being social in my day-to-day life demands of social interaction is very limited I work alone I work at home I spend most of my social interactions online and so my social rest is in-person social interactions crazy right the actual way for me to take social rest is to go out and be around people so it shows up differently from person to person but for me that was a huge aha of like oh my God I need to be spending more time around people I need to be prioritizing okay I'm going to see a person this day and this day and this day and for me I almost want to see a person every other day at least and that's kind of how I've set up my life to succeed around social rest the purpose behind our social rest is that when we rest socially we give ourselves time to recharge and maintain our emotional boundaries which will help us avoid social burnout and in the long term staying connected to others because if you get socially burnt out what are you going to want to do see nobody ever and you're going to disconnect from everybody so taking social rest can be really important to ensuring those connections long term we are at our final type of rest and this one was really interesting too and it's still one that truthfully I am trying to understand how it shows up in my life this is spiritual rest spiritual rest means taking a break from the spiritual demands that we face every day this does not necessarily mean religious and that's very important that I distinguish that um spiritual rest can show up in many different ways and there's a good chance that you're already practicing a type of spiritual rest some of the suggestions are meditating praying if that feels good to you engaging in a spiritual practice that you enjoy spending time in nature practicing yoga or maybe volunteering for a cause that you care about and that one I find really interesting because how I perceive receive spirituality is the connection of mind body and spirit for you as an individual and part of that is purpose I find for myself that where spirituality sits in my life is it gives me purpose is when I connect with my mind body and spirit I think well who is Haley and what does Haley want out of this life that is how I perceive spirituality and so this idea of volunteering for a cause that you care about can be super spiritually restful because it is supporting this idea of like giving you purpose and so here is the purpose behind spiritual rest when we give ourselves spiritual rest we are giving ourselves time to connect with our inner selves and Find meaning in our lives which helps us to stay grounded and fulfilled and I think for a lot of people uh especially in my programs what they realize was oh I'm spending every day going to a job coming home zoning out and then repeating that cycle over and over and over again and they didn't have anywhere in their life any sort of time blocked out for Spiritual rest and so they didn't feel like they had a purpose or that their life had any meaning to it and so we talked about well how can you add that into your life for myself I am hugely passionate about neuro Divergent topics and so my spiritual rest shows up in my day-to-day of doing the work that I do but for you it might be well I want to volunteer a little bit I want to Mentor somebody or I want to get connected with a religion or a spiritual practice that feels good to me and makes my life feel like it has meaning so that's our spiritual rest now I think one of the other important pieces that I covered in my program was how do we incorporate seven different types typ of rest in our day-to-day lives well I think when I went back and started reflecting on how my weeks looked is I realized certain types of rest required me to schedule it in such as my social rest required me to make plans with people it had to be scheduled or it wouldn't happen and so my first suggestion would be to schedule in time for your rest if you need physical rest maybe you need to just pause and and take a little vacation and go get a massage and do those things but schedule it in the next one is to be intentional I know for myself I still struggle with this where at the end of my day I'll go oh my God I'm so tired and I'll just go to the easiest thing which would be maybe scrolling on my phone and watching TV but now I consider well what type of rest do I actually need right now and surprisingly I realize quite frequently that I'm actually needing social rest and so I'll message a friend and say hey can we play games together right now and then I'll go get some support there and it feels really good to be intentional about my time the next one is to take breaks give yourself opportunities to reflect to understand what it is your body needs and is asking for another suggestion would be around setting boundaries I know that it's important that I communicate to my friends my family my partner what types of uh rest I need and when I need them because there are also times in social situations where my battery burnt out and what I need in that moment is to leave and so I'm able to communicate with them and say hey I'm going to come tonight to this social thing and I'm really excited to do it but I actually had a really draining social week and so I expect that I'm only going to be there for like 2 hours so I'm setting some boundaries of just hey I want you to have some expectations around how I'm going to show up here or in the same sense maybe you say to a partner it's really important for me to have spiritual rest I need more time to find higher meaning in my life and I want you to be a part of that or maybe I don't want you to be a part of that but communicating it to whoever it is that feels you know you feel the need to communicate it too the next one is one of my favorites which if you watched my most recent video you would understand why but it is disconnecting actually giving yourself permission to turn off the phone stop talking to people and just exist in the moment without the constant demand of your phone and the notifications can be so supportive to resting and then I would also suggest experiment try different things maybe you don't know what it means to mentally rest yet that's fine it's time to try different things and figure out what suits you so there it is the seven different types of rest that might actually allow you to rest for once now I am so curious which was the most surprising type of rest for you which one where you were like holy that's a type of rest and I'm definitely not doing it because I know for me I had some of those moments when I started reading about them thank you so much for showing up today and being here and listening to this I'm kind of trying to come back to doing more sitdown videos like this I put a lot of pressure on myself to create really high quality content for you but what I realized is so many of you are asking just for me to sit and talk and so I want to do that more frequently because this feels good to me too so I'm excited to continue to do this I've got some episodes coming out with other people in them too so that will be fun um but for now if you haven't been told today if no one has told you this today I am so proud of you for continuing to do the thing love you so much and I will see you in the next episode bye

Channel: Hayley Honeyman

Views: 429,546

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Id: erwj2_5MlBk

Length: 24min 55sec (1495 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 27 2023