- [Narrator] Thanks to Mack
Weldon for keeping Legal Eagle in the air and helping me look fly. (eagle screeches) "Imagine being a layer,
skimming through old records "for months, working on a
strategy to free your clients "and this mo (beep) shows
up to court like this." You can't fix stupid. (upbeat music) Hey Legal Eagles, it's
time to think like a lawyer because I am outside of the eagle's lair in a secret location that
may or not be related to some skiing and snowboarding
that I am currently doing and it's secret not
because it's a true secret, but maybe because I don't want
people to judge me based on my skiing and snowboarding skills, but because I am on location,
I asked you to provide me with some great legal
memes, and once again, you guys did not disappoint. I have so many legal memes to get through. We're gonna be laughing and crying and everything in between. So without further ado,
let's dig in once again to meme review. (rhythmic noise) Meme Review! Meme Review Trademark of
PewDiePie. All rights reserved. All right, so let's
dig into our first meme that you guys sent in. "The look you get when
opposing counsel is approaching "the well without permission." (laughs) So, as you know, you are not
allowed to enter the well without permission. The well is the distance
between counsel table and the judge, and if you are
overly aggressive about it, the bailiff will tackle you. Don't do it! Get permission first. (rhythmic noise) "When the only case you can
find to cite is from 1823." True story, this happens
all the time, and yeah, we definitely feel like we
are in Victorian England here with the powdered wigs and
the ridiculous ensembles. The thing is the older
cases are easier facts and the opinions that judges
write were way easier to understand a hundred or
two hundred years ago than they are now. Now, if you get to court and
the appellate court writes a decision, it's on a
very, very marginal issue that's gonna be really
splitting some fine hairs, so often, the really, really
old cases are often the best, and of course, we lawyers feel like we are characters in Amadeus. (rhythmic noise) Okay, "when a first-year
redacts discovery." A blurred face, another
blurred face, and the woman whose face was blurred before. Ugh, first-year associates are the worst. When you graduate from law
school, you then often go to work for a big firm, and when that
happens, the thing you realize is that law school didn't
prepare you for anything. So, you are really being an
apprentice for a law firm, and guess what? You're gonna make some
mistakes, like redacting things that are obvious and
then forgetting to redact the exact same thing later on. So yeah, first-years,
definitely double check your redactions. (rhythmic noise) "When your client tells you he's done "his own legal research." (laughs) This happened to me a couple of days ago. It wasn't a client so much as a potential opposing party who had clearly
done some legal research on their own by going on Google,
which is the equivalent of going on WebMD and then
diagnosing yourself with cancer. Do not do your own legal research. You will be wrong. You will look like an
incredible idiot to anyone that actually knows what they're doing. Friends don't let friends
do their own legal research. (rhythmic noise) "When someone tells me
they got into law school: "My deepest sympathies." Oh, man. Attorney Problems is
really knocking it out here. Law school can be a lot of fun. Law school can also be
very, very terrible, and like the video that
I did last week about my crazy ex-girlfriend, a
lot of people really, really hate it, and they say,
"Don't be a lawyer." I am not necessarily one of those people. Some people should not go to
law school, but some people definitely should go to law school. So, if you go to law school,
you have my sympathies, but there are ways to get through it. (rhythmic noise) "Um, yeah. If you could
stop calling every other day "for a case update, that'd be great." (laughs) So I think this is about
a client that wants too many updates. I don't really mind that. The clients need to be informed,
and frankly, it's the duty of the lawyer to reach
out to their client and give them updates, so, often
lawyers don't give updates nearly enough. But yeah, they can definitely
ask for too many updates. (rhythmic noise) "Me as a lawyer: my client is
innocent. Them: your client is "on video dragging a
lifeless body into the woods. "I said what I said." (laughs) You know, it's not so much
video that is the thing that really kills clients, at
least in a civil context. That definitely does happen
in a criminal context. But in a civil context,
which is most of what I do, it's really the emails. The emails will kill
you every single time. People don't understand that
those emails are going to be used against you in a court of law. The lawyers are basically stuck with arguing what we have to argue. I said what I said. (rhythmic noise) "When the old dude asks if
you're the court reporter." Oh, oh, that's bad, yeah. Law often can be an old
boys' club and they will make all kinds of really sexist
remarks, and it's a problem for female young associates
especially that they get mistaken for court reporters
or staff or something else. Times will change eventually
and people will understand that that's not appropriate,
but it definitely happens. (rhythmic noise) "The sales contract had
a few strings attached. "I played with them for 2 hours." (laughs) Aw, kitty. (cat meows) I don't think this needs
any explanation from me. This is just a perfect joke. (rhythmic noise) "When you're a law student
that hasn't argued with anyone "for a few seconds: I
will argue with anyone "about anything." (laughs) Okay, yeah, law students have
a well-deserved reputation for arguing a lot. In fact, there's actually a term for that. The person or people that
have to argue all the time, they're called gunners, and we hate them. They just can't shut up. They have to have the last word. They have to ask questions. Yeah, they will argue
about anything with anyone. They're terrible people. Don't be a gunner. (rhythmic noise) "Civil law in a nutshell.
General Rule. Exception." Oh my god. Oh, that really hits home. For example, we've talked
about hearsay a lot on this channel. As you probably know, there are
a lot of hearsay exceptions, and as you probably know, the
exceptions to the hearsay rule swallow the hearsay rule in general. Most things that are considered
hearsay will come in. Like this dam, the dam is
broken, and all of that stuff is coming in, and frankly,
I don't think that's the worst thing. Civil law, especially civil
procedure, man, the exceptions really preponderate over the general rule. (rhythmic noise) "Courtroom exchange of the day.
Doctor, before you performed "the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? "No. "Did you check for blood pressure? "No. "Did you check for breathing? "No. "So, then is it possible
that the patient was alive "when you begin the autopsy? "No. "How can you be sure, doctor? "Because his brain was
sitting on my desk in a jar. "But could the patient have
still been alive nevertheless? "Yes, it is possible that
he could have been alive "and practicing law." (laughs) I definitely have seen this one before. It's been floating around
the internet for a long time. I would love for someone to
track down to see if this is actually a real deposition transcript. It's just too good to be true. I really want it to be true. I kind of doubt that it is. And also, I don't think that
an autopsy would have begun with a brain in a jar. I think you would have to
perform the autopsy for their brain to be removed. If only there was some sort
of medical professional that could let me know how
autopsies are done, that would be really helpful in this situation. - [man] Hey, Legal Eagle.
Doctor Francis here. Now, I'm somewhat dubious
about this particular meme and I'd like to present
the following evidence for your consideration. You see an autopsy or
post-mortem normally begins after an external examination
of the body by making a large incision from
the neck all the way down to the pelvic bone. Sometimes it's Y-shaped,
starting at either shoulder and meeting around the ziphy
sternum and again continuing down to the pelvis. At that point, all the internal
organs of the chest and the abdomen are removed and inspected. Only at that point is the
skull cavity opened and the brain removed, so I
find it hard to believe that the brain would have been
on the pathologist's desk at the start of the procedure. Hence, I submit to you thus,
that this joke is guilty of medical meme malpractice. - [Narrator] Thanks,
Rohin. I learned something. (rhythmic noise) "I think I found my new
lawyer. Just because you did it "doesn't mean you're guilty." (laughs) That's actually true, believe it or not. So for example, let's say that a person kills another person. You would think that that
would be murder, but let's say that they acted in self-defense. Just because you killed
someone, you "did it", doesn't necessarily mean
that you're guilty of the crime of murder. So yeah, this lawyer, he knows what's up. (rhythmic noise) "0L: people have to be
exaggerating about how miserable "law school is, there's
just no way it's as bad "as they say." "1L: I too was hustled, scammed,
bamboozled, hood winked, "lead astray!" (laughs) I wonder if that is in reference
to the Fyre Festival that Ja Rule did. - [Man] The cheese sandwich. (breaths heavily) That was when I knew this was done. - [Narrator] It's pretty much
as bad as they say it is. It doesn't mean that they
can't have fun, you definitely will have fun, but man, 1Ls are tough. Oh yeah, and 0Ls are
people that are accepted to law school but haven't
yet started law school. So yeah, they definitely have
questions about law school and it definitely sounds bad,
and then you get to law school and you find out it's pretty freaking bad. (laughs) - [Women] Turn around!
Turn this bus right around! (rhythmic noise) - [Narrator] "Sprinkling your
law school essay with Latin "legal terminologies like Non est factum, Contra preferentem, Ratio decidendi" (laughs) I can't even pronounce that. Ratio decen Decidendi. That's a new one by me. "Onus of proof. Obiter
dicta. Stare decisis." Okay. Common misconception
about lawyers: good lawyers really try to avoid adding
too much Latin terminology and really any kind of inside
baseball legal terminologies. It's not persuasive. Sometimes, you have to do it,
but good legal writers will do everything they can to avoid
adding the kind of language that isn't going to resonate
with most people, so yeah. Law students like to add that
(bleep), but good lawyers should generally not if they can avoid it. (rhythmic noise) "I am a law student. I have
this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself yet I
still think I am better than everybody else." It's so true. Oh my god, it's so true. We're really hating on law students on this episode, but I love it. When you get to law
school, everyone has this imposter syndrome. You are questioning yourself. You think that you're not
as smart as everybody else, and yet at the same time, you
really can't help but have a superiority complex over
basically everybody else and especially other grad students. - [Man] I graduated first
in my class from Princeton. I have an IQ of 187. - [Narrator] It's obviously
not warranted in most cases except for business school
students and management students. They're just the worst. Basically, business school
is two years of keg parties and karaoke. Business students. (rhythmic noise) "Imagine being a lawyer,
skimming through old records for months, working on a
strategy to free your clients and this mo (beep) shows
up to court like this." You can't fix stupid. (rhythmic noise) "Clement Vallendigham, a
lawyer who, while trying "to demonstrate how the
victim might have accidentally "shot himself, shot himself and died. "He then won the case. "Task failed successfully." (laughs) Ya know, I have never heard of this. I need to go on Wikipedia
and find out if this is, in fact, true. You can imagine that a
demonstrative that ends up killing the lawyer, who is using the
demonstrative, that would be very powerful evidence. I would probably also vote
to acquit if the lawyer killed himself in the process. Cue, insert, lawyer jokes,
dead lawyer, good outcome, blah blah blah. This is legal memes. We're not making lawyer jokes here. (laughs) (rhythmic noise) "Sure you have a lawyer,
but does your lawyer have a lawyer? (laughs) I just need to do more "Better Call Saul." It's so good. Usually, the lawyers don't
need their own lawyer, but with this presidential
administration, the lawyers need lawyers and those
lawyers need lawyers. - [Saul] Let's just say I
knew a guy who knows a guy who knows another guy. (rhythmic noise) - [Narrator] "Thank God the
Facebook lawyer is here." Oh, god. It's so true. I've run into so many
people who basically went to the Zuckerberg law school in Palo Alto. I mean, it's just, it's crazy. If you do your own legal
research, or you make legal arguments on the
internet and I'm reading them, that's basically what I assume
you look like all the time. (rhythmic noise) "Lawyer: No guys, you can't show kids. "Us: Baby Yoda is 50, so
technically he's 21 plus. "Lawyer." (laugh) Oh, Keystone. Such terrible beer, but
great memes. Well done. (rhythmic noise) "Making actual findings. "Appelate courts. "Deference to the trial court." (laughs) Okay, this one probably needs
a little bit of explanation. So, the trial court technically
is the only court that can take on new facts. People get this wrong all the time. They say, "Oh, I'm going to
appeal something," and then think that they can add
new facts on appeal. You can't. The appellate court, well,
at least generally speaking, is not allowed to add new
facts into the record. So, this guy that's looking
away from deference to the trial court, the appellate
court is supposed to give deference to the trial
court's factual findings, and yet, appellate courts
will often find some way of bringing up a new fact into the record. They shouldn't do it. It's not their job to do it. It does definitely happen. This is one of the most
inside baseball legal memes, and I love it. (rhythmic noise) "Big law firms, solo attorney." (laughs) I just love the idea of
like, a solo attorney out on a paddleboard, trying to
use an umbrella to windsurf. That's amazing. The joke here, as you can
well imagine, is big firms have all of the resources
and these solo firms have very few resources. I would say that in this day
and age where even the smallest attorney has access to legal
databases like LexisNexis or Westlaw, the disparity is not
quite as big as it used to be. Big firms can still throw
tons of people at a problem, but the solo firms still have
some advantages as well, so (laughs) We're all gettin' by with our
umbrellas on a paddleboard. It gets you where you need to go. (rhythmic noise) "Can you guys please recommend
books that made you cry? "Introduction to Property Law." (laughs) (groans) (ice freezing) (machine powering down) Yep, that's me. I bet you're wondering how I got here. Well, the camera just
froze over, so I'm gonna pick things up from the inside. (whooshing) Ah, the joys of modern
technology and trying to use them in the outdoors. Okay, so where did we leave off? Ah, yes, property law. So, the thing about property
law and why it's reading that will make you cry is that
when you go to law school, you are required to take
certain law school classes, and one of those is property
law, and of all of the first-year classes that you
take, property law is probably the one that is the
most archaic and arcane. It's totally ridiculous. You have to learn this
whole new vocabulary. I really did not like property. I really haven't used property that much. I use contracts all the time,
I use torts all the time, I use crim law all the time,
but I rarely actually use property, and it's really
antiquated, and yeah, it'll make first-years cry, for sure. (rhythmic noise) All right, "arguing a
motion to compel discovery." (laughs) Okay, so the joke here is that
when you are arguing a motion to compel discovery, you're basically just throwing accusations back
and forth, like two Spidermen who are, ya know, pointing at each other. If you make an accusation
that the other side is not giving you the documents
that you want, or they're not giving you the depositions of
the witnesses that you want, they're going to go right
back and they're gonna make the same accusations at you. This is very, very accurate. It's a little too accurate. It's a little too close to home. (rhythmic noise) "When opposing counsel
wins a discovery motion." (laughs) Oh my god, oh, that look
on Nancy Pelosi's face. So, the joke here is that
when the other side wins a discovery motion, just like
the ones we just talked about, where you're arguing that
they're not giving you the documents or the discovery
that you need, and they win, you give the most insincere
congratulations of all times, because you really don't
like the opposing council, and you really don't want
to give them the documents, or you want to get the
documents from them and maybe the judge is saying
you can't get them. I definitely feel Nancy Pelosi. I've lost my fair share of
discovery motions, and it sucks every time. (rhythmic noise) "Using the Bluebook. Guessing
and effing up my citations." Oh no. So what you
probably don't know is that in law school, and really
only law school, you have this thing called the Bluebook,
and it's a reference manual for citations in the papers
that you write in law school. You really don't lose it as a
practicing attorney very much, if at all, but it controls
your life when you're in law school. They're these stupid citations. They're not like Chicago. They're not like APA. Law school has their own stupid
citation system, and yeah, after a while, you get fed up
with it and you just move on because it's terrible, so, all
those law students out there know exactly what the Bluebook
is and they hate it because it's stupid and I wish it would die. (rhythmic noise) All right, "What if you
wanted to understand contracts "but God said Cardozo, Judge." (laughs) I just did an episode featuring
Judge Cardozo, the case of "What's in the Box?" where
Judge Cardozo, who was initially on the New York Court of
Appeals, eventually went to the Supreme Court, that guy
is a genius, and that guy writes some opinions that are really, really hard to understand. So, if you wanna understand
contracts, and you have a Cardozo case, good freaking luck. (rhythmic noise) "Where were you the night of the murder? "Me: home. "Lawyer: you weren't as Jason's? "Me: no. "Lawyer: lmao dude everyone was there." (laughs) I'm sorry you weren't there, bro. The party was, I don't know, slappin'? Is that what the kids say these days? Party was slappin'. You
should've been there. (rhythmic noise) "Did you hear? Everyone
on Facebook just graduated "magna cum laude from law school." Oh, boy. There is definitely
a time of the year when everyone graduates from
law school and they definitely announce on all social media
that they just graduated from law school, especially
if they graduated with honors, and everybody knows about
it because they're telling everyone all the time. Very true. (rhythmic noise) "Why yes, I totally spent
three years in law school, "took the bar exam, and spent
$150,000 just so I could "give you free legal advice." (laughs) Oh, boy. Yeah. So, word to the wise,
for future law graduates: when you graduate from law
school you won't really know anything about the law, you
won't know anything about practicing law, but that will
not stop all of your friends and family from asking
you for free legal advice. If you give free legal advice
to someone, they effectively become your client. That's why you hear lawyers
all the time, myself included, saying that this is not legal advice, do not take this as legal advice, do not get free legal advice
from a YouTube attorney because if I were to
purposefully and intentionally give you legal advice, that
would make you my client. I'm ethically bound to then
represent you, and so that's why I try not to do it. And that is why all you new
law graduates out there, remember that that is your
best defense from preventing a thousand people from being
your clients, including friends and family. So, remember, friends
don't let friends give free legal advice. (rhythmic noise) "When you're at court and
someone is pissing off the judge "before your case." (exasperated sigh) (laughs) I really feel this meme. When you go to court, there's
usually a long docket. There might be literally 20
cases in front of the judge that morning. Usually, the hearings are
in the morning, or if you have a trial, it's in the
afternoon, and the judge will just wanna knock these
out one after the other, and the thing is if the people
ahead of you are arguing, they're going to piss off the
judge, and they're going to make your hearing particularly difficult. So, yeah. You just sit
there in the gallery, amongst all the other
people who are waiting to have their cases heard,
and you're just like, "Bruh, "come on, let it go. "Stop riling up the judge. "I have this, like, tiny
thing that I need the judge "to rubber stamp. "Stop screwing up my hearing." And obviously, when I go to
court, I have to wear a suit and tie because you have to
look good when you're in court, but when I'm not in court, I
tend to wear things that are a lot more casual, like
the stuff that I'm wearing right now, which is why I'm
so thrilled that Mack Weldon is today's sponsor, because
this shirt that I've been wearing for this entire time
both in the snow and inside is a Mack Weldon polo. It's incredibly soft and
incredibly comfortable. I've worn it for hours
at a time playing tennis. It's great for athletic and athleisure. I love it to death. Now, I'm also wearing their
world-famous boxer briefs, but obviously I can't show you
that, but here is a picture of me wearing those boxer briefs. It's definitely me. It is not a model. It is not stock photography. That's clearly my body
there in the background. I'm sorry that we couldn't
show my face in this picture, but I assure you, that's
definitely me wearing those boxer briefs. Mack Weldon is a men's
essential clothing company that focuses on smart design and
premium fabrics, and as I said, if I'm not in court, I'm
probably wearing something like this, much more casual,
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world-famous boxer briefs, and if you're watching this
channel, you're an adult, and you probably deserve
to have nice boxer briefs, and I can tell you it makes
a world of difference. I ordered with my own money. I had multiple sizes shipped
to me to try different sizes on and then I just returned the
ones that didn't fit me right and kept the ones that fit perfectly. Now, if you would like to try
Mack Weldon and you'd like 20% off your first order, just go to MackWeldon.com/LegalEagle or use the promo code
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link in the description. Clicking on that link really
helps out this channel. So, do you agree with my
analysis of these ridiculous legal memes, or do you
have another legal meme that you would like me to review? Let me know in the comments,
and check out this playlist over here that has all of
my other meme reviews and my reactions to the things
on Reddit and Twitter and all the other crazy legal
issues that are happening on social media. So, just click on this playlist
and I'll see you in court.
I watched this earlier today and thought he presented his case well. As he should. I love his lowkey but intense loathing of the Trump family as well.