How the Government Botched the Coronavirus Response

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I watched this earlier today and thought he presented his case well. As he should. I love his lowkey but intense loathing of the Trump family as well.

👍︎︎ 7 👤︎︎ u/LillithScare 📅︎︎ Mar 22 2020 đź—«︎ replies
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- [Narrator] Thanks to Mack Weldon for keeping Legal Eagle in the air and helping me look fly. (eagle screeches) "Imagine being a layer, skimming through old records "for months, working on a strategy to free your clients "and this mo (beep) shows up to court like this." You can't fix stupid. (upbeat music) Hey Legal Eagles, it's time to think like a lawyer because I am outside of the eagle's lair in a secret location that may or not be related to some skiing and snowboarding that I am currently doing and it's secret not because it's a true secret, but maybe because I don't want people to judge me based on my skiing and snowboarding skills, but because I am on location, I asked you to provide me with some great legal memes, and once again, you guys did not disappoint. I have so many legal memes to get through. We're gonna be laughing and crying and everything in between. So without further ado, let's dig in once again to meme review. (rhythmic noise) Meme Review! Meme Review Trademark of PewDiePie. All rights reserved. All right, so let's dig into our first meme that you guys sent in. "The look you get when opposing counsel is approaching "the well without permission." (laughs) So, as you know, you are not allowed to enter the well without permission. The well is the distance between counsel table and the judge, and if you are overly aggressive about it, the bailiff will tackle you. Don't do it! Get permission first. (rhythmic noise) "When the only case you can find to cite is from 1823." True story, this happens all the time, and yeah, we definitely feel like we are in Victorian England here with the powdered wigs and the ridiculous ensembles. The thing is the older cases are easier facts and the opinions that judges write were way easier to understand a hundred or two hundred years ago than they are now. Now, if you get to court and the appellate court writes a decision, it's on a very, very marginal issue that's gonna be really splitting some fine hairs, so often, the really, really old cases are often the best, and of course, we lawyers feel like we are characters in Amadeus. (rhythmic noise) Okay, "when a first-year redacts discovery." A blurred face, another blurred face, and the woman whose face was blurred before. Ugh, first-year associates are the worst. When you graduate from law school, you then often go to work for a big firm, and when that happens, the thing you realize is that law school didn't prepare you for anything. So, you are really being an apprentice for a law firm, and guess what? You're gonna make some mistakes, like redacting things that are obvious and then forgetting to redact the exact same thing later on. So yeah, first-years, definitely double check your redactions. (rhythmic noise) "When your client tells you he's done "his own legal research." (laughs) This happened to me a couple of days ago. It wasn't a client so much as a potential opposing party who had clearly done some legal research on their own by going on Google, which is the equivalent of going on WebMD and then diagnosing yourself with cancer. Do not do your own legal research. You will be wrong. You will look like an incredible idiot to anyone that actually knows what they're doing. Friends don't let friends do their own legal research. (rhythmic noise) "When someone tells me they got into law school: "My deepest sympathies." Oh, man. Attorney Problems is really knocking it out here. Law school can be a lot of fun. Law school can also be very, very terrible, and like the video that I did last week about my crazy ex-girlfriend, a lot of people really, really hate it, and they say, "Don't be a lawyer." I am not necessarily one of those people. Some people should not go to law school, but some people definitely should go to law school. So, if you go to law school, you have my sympathies, but there are ways to get through it. (rhythmic noise) "Um, yeah. If you could stop calling every other day "for a case update, that'd be great." (laughs) So I think this is about a client that wants too many updates. I don't really mind that. The clients need to be informed, and frankly, it's the duty of the lawyer to reach out to their client and give them updates, so, often lawyers don't give updates nearly enough. But yeah, they can definitely ask for too many updates. (rhythmic noise) "Me as a lawyer: my client is innocent. Them: your client is "on video dragging a lifeless body into the woods. "I said what I said." (laughs) You know, it's not so much video that is the thing that really kills clients, at least in a civil context. That definitely does happen in a criminal context. But in a civil context, which is most of what I do, it's really the emails. The emails will kill you every single time. People don't understand that those emails are going to be used against you in a court of law. The lawyers are basically stuck with arguing what we have to argue. I said what I said. (rhythmic noise) "When the old dude asks if you're the court reporter." Oh, oh, that's bad, yeah. Law often can be an old boys' club and they will make all kinds of really sexist remarks, and it's a problem for female young associates especially that they get mistaken for court reporters or staff or something else. Times will change eventually and people will understand that that's not appropriate, but it definitely happens. (rhythmic noise) "The sales contract had a few strings attached. "I played with them for 2 hours." (laughs) Aw, kitty. (cat meows) I don't think this needs any explanation from me. This is just a perfect joke. (rhythmic noise) "When you're a law student that hasn't argued with anyone "for a few seconds: I will argue with anyone "about anything." (laughs) Okay, yeah, law students have a well-deserved reputation for arguing a lot. In fact, there's actually a term for that. The person or people that have to argue all the time, they're called gunners, and we hate them. They just can't shut up. They have to have the last word. They have to ask questions. Yeah, they will argue about anything with anyone. They're terrible people. Don't be a gunner. (rhythmic noise) "Civil law in a nutshell. General Rule. Exception." Oh my god. Oh, that really hits home. For example, we've talked about hearsay a lot on this channel. As you probably know, there are a lot of hearsay exceptions, and as you probably know, the exceptions to the hearsay rule swallow the hearsay rule in general. Most things that are considered hearsay will come in. Like this dam, the dam is broken, and all of that stuff is coming in, and frankly, I don't think that's the worst thing. Civil law, especially civil procedure, man, the exceptions really preponderate over the general rule. (rhythmic noise) "Courtroom exchange of the day. Doctor, before you performed "the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? "No. "Did you check for blood pressure? "No. "Did you check for breathing? "No. "So, then is it possible that the patient was alive "when you begin the autopsy? "No. "How can you be sure, doctor? "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive "and practicing law." (laughs) I definitely have seen this one before. It's been floating around the internet for a long time. I would love for someone to track down to see if this is actually a real deposition transcript. It's just too good to be true. I really want it to be true. I kind of doubt that it is. And also, I don't think that an autopsy would have begun with a brain in a jar. I think you would have to perform the autopsy for their brain to be removed. If only there was some sort of medical professional that could let me know how autopsies are done, that would be really helpful in this situation. - [man] Hey, Legal Eagle. Doctor Francis here. Now, I'm somewhat dubious about this particular meme and I'd like to present the following evidence for your consideration. You see an autopsy or post-mortem normally begins after an external examination of the body by making a large incision from the neck all the way down to the pelvic bone. Sometimes it's Y-shaped, starting at either shoulder and meeting around the ziphy sternum and again continuing down to the pelvis. At that point, all the internal organs of the chest and the abdomen are removed and inspected. Only at that point is the skull cavity opened and the brain removed, so I find it hard to believe that the brain would have been on the pathologist's desk at the start of the procedure. Hence, I submit to you thus, that this joke is guilty of medical meme malpractice. - [Narrator] Thanks, Rohin. I learned something. (rhythmic noise) "I think I found my new lawyer. Just because you did it "doesn't mean you're guilty." (laughs) That's actually true, believe it or not. So for example, let's say that a person kills another person. You would think that that would be murder, but let's say that they acted in self-defense. Just because you killed someone, you "did it", doesn't necessarily mean that you're guilty of the crime of murder. So yeah, this lawyer, he knows what's up. (rhythmic noise) "0L: people have to be exaggerating about how miserable "law school is, there's just no way it's as bad "as they say." "1L: I too was hustled, scammed, bamboozled, hood winked, "lead astray!" (laughs) I wonder if that is in reference to the Fyre Festival that Ja Rule did. - [Man] The cheese sandwich. (breaths heavily) That was when I knew this was done. - [Narrator] It's pretty much as bad as they say it is. It doesn't mean that they can't have fun, you definitely will have fun, but man, 1Ls are tough. Oh yeah, and 0Ls are people that are accepted to law school but haven't yet started law school. So yeah, they definitely have questions about law school and it definitely sounds bad, and then you get to law school and you find out it's pretty freaking bad. (laughs) - [Women] Turn around! Turn this bus right around! (rhythmic noise) - [Narrator] "Sprinkling your law school essay with Latin "legal terminologies like Non est factum, Contra preferentem, Ratio decidendi" (laughs) I can't even pronounce that. Ratio decen Decidendi. That's a new one by me. "Onus of proof. Obiter dicta. Stare decisis." Okay. Common misconception about lawyers: good lawyers really try to avoid adding too much Latin terminology and really any kind of inside baseball legal terminologies. It's not persuasive. Sometimes, you have to do it, but good legal writers will do everything they can to avoid adding the kind of language that isn't going to resonate with most people, so yeah. Law students like to add that (bleep), but good lawyers should generally not if they can avoid it. (rhythmic noise) "I am a law student. I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself yet I still think I am better than everybody else." It's so true. Oh my god, it's so true. We're really hating on law students on this episode, but I love it. When you get to law school, everyone has this imposter syndrome. You are questioning yourself. You think that you're not as smart as everybody else, and yet at the same time, you really can't help but have a superiority complex over basically everybody else and especially other grad students. - [Man] I graduated first in my class from Princeton. I have an IQ of 187. - [Narrator] It's obviously not warranted in most cases except for business school students and management students. They're just the worst. Basically, business school is two years of keg parties and karaoke. Business students. (rhythmic noise) "Imagine being a lawyer, skimming through old records for months, working on a strategy to free your clients and this mo (beep) shows up to court like this." You can't fix stupid. (rhythmic noise) "Clement Vallendigham, a lawyer who, while trying "to demonstrate how the victim might have accidentally "shot himself, shot himself and died. "He then won the case. "Task failed successfully." (laughs) Ya know, I have never heard of this. I need to go on Wikipedia and find out if this is, in fact, true. You can imagine that a demonstrative that ends up killing the lawyer, who is using the demonstrative, that would be very powerful evidence. I would probably also vote to acquit if the lawyer killed himself in the process. Cue, insert, lawyer jokes, dead lawyer, good outcome, blah blah blah. This is legal memes. We're not making lawyer jokes here. (laughs) (rhythmic noise) "Sure you have a lawyer, but does your lawyer have a lawyer? (laughs) I just need to do more "Better Call Saul." It's so good. Usually, the lawyers don't need their own lawyer, but with this presidential administration, the lawyers need lawyers and those lawyers need lawyers. - [Saul] Let's just say I knew a guy who knows a guy who knows another guy. (rhythmic noise) - [Narrator] "Thank God the Facebook lawyer is here." Oh, god. It's so true. I've run into so many people who basically went to the Zuckerberg law school in Palo Alto. I mean, it's just, it's crazy. If you do your own legal research, or you make legal arguments on the internet and I'm reading them, that's basically what I assume you look like all the time. (rhythmic noise) "Lawyer: No guys, you can't show kids. "Us: Baby Yoda is 50, so technically he's 21 plus. "Lawyer." (laugh) Oh, Keystone. Such terrible beer, but great memes. Well done. (rhythmic noise) "Making actual findings. "Appelate courts. "Deference to the trial court." (laughs) Okay, this one probably needs a little bit of explanation. So, the trial court technically is the only court that can take on new facts. People get this wrong all the time. They say, "Oh, I'm going to appeal something," and then think that they can add new facts on appeal. You can't. The appellate court, well, at least generally speaking, is not allowed to add new facts into the record. So, this guy that's looking away from deference to the trial court, the appellate court is supposed to give deference to the trial court's factual findings, and yet, appellate courts will often find some way of bringing up a new fact into the record. They shouldn't do it. It's not their job to do it. It does definitely happen. This is one of the most inside baseball legal memes, and I love it. (rhythmic noise) "Big law firms, solo attorney." (laughs) I just love the idea of like, a solo attorney out on a paddleboard, trying to use an umbrella to windsurf. That's amazing. The joke here, as you can well imagine, is big firms have all of the resources and these solo firms have very few resources. I would say that in this day and age where even the smallest attorney has access to legal databases like LexisNexis or Westlaw, the disparity is not quite as big as it used to be. Big firms can still throw tons of people at a problem, but the solo firms still have some advantages as well, so (laughs) We're all gettin' by with our umbrellas on a paddleboard. It gets you where you need to go. (rhythmic noise) "Can you guys please recommend books that made you cry? "Introduction to Property Law." (laughs) (groans) (ice freezing) (machine powering down) Yep, that's me. I bet you're wondering how I got here. Well, the camera just froze over, so I'm gonna pick things up from the inside. (whooshing) Ah, the joys of modern technology and trying to use them in the outdoors. Okay, so where did we leave off? Ah, yes, property law. So, the thing about property law and why it's reading that will make you cry is that when you go to law school, you are required to take certain law school classes, and one of those is property law, and of all of the first-year classes that you take, property law is probably the one that is the most archaic and arcane. It's totally ridiculous. You have to learn this whole new vocabulary. I really did not like property. I really haven't used property that much. I use contracts all the time, I use torts all the time, I use crim law all the time, but I rarely actually use property, and it's really antiquated, and yeah, it'll make first-years cry, for sure. (rhythmic noise) All right, "arguing a motion to compel discovery." (laughs) Okay, so the joke here is that when you are arguing a motion to compel discovery, you're basically just throwing accusations back and forth, like two Spidermen who are, ya know, pointing at each other. If you make an accusation that the other side is not giving you the documents that you want, or they're not giving you the depositions of the witnesses that you want, they're going to go right back and they're gonna make the same accusations at you. This is very, very accurate. It's a little too accurate. It's a little too close to home. (rhythmic noise) "When opposing counsel wins a discovery motion." (laughs) Oh my god, oh, that look on Nancy Pelosi's face. So, the joke here is that when the other side wins a discovery motion, just like the ones we just talked about, where you're arguing that they're not giving you the documents or the discovery that you need, and they win, you give the most insincere congratulations of all times, because you really don't like the opposing council, and you really don't want to give them the documents, or you want to get the documents from them and maybe the judge is saying you can't get them. I definitely feel Nancy Pelosi. I've lost my fair share of discovery motions, and it sucks every time. (rhythmic noise) "Using the Bluebook. Guessing and effing up my citations." Oh no. So what you probably don't know is that in law school, and really only law school, you have this thing called the Bluebook, and it's a reference manual for citations in the papers that you write in law school. You really don't lose it as a practicing attorney very much, if at all, but it controls your life when you're in law school. They're these stupid citations. They're not like Chicago. They're not like APA. Law school has their own stupid citation system, and yeah, after a while, you get fed up with it and you just move on because it's terrible, so, all those law students out there know exactly what the Bluebook is and they hate it because it's stupid and I wish it would die. (rhythmic noise) All right, "What if you wanted to understand contracts "but God said Cardozo, Judge." (laughs) I just did an episode featuring Judge Cardozo, the case of "What's in the Box?" where Judge Cardozo, who was initially on the New York Court of Appeals, eventually went to the Supreme Court, that guy is a genius, and that guy writes some opinions that are really, really hard to understand. So, if you wanna understand contracts, and you have a Cardozo case, good freaking luck. (rhythmic noise) "Where were you the night of the murder? "Me: home. "Lawyer: you weren't as Jason's? "Me: no. "Lawyer: lmao dude everyone was there." (laughs) I'm sorry you weren't there, bro. The party was, I don't know, slappin'? Is that what the kids say these days? Party was slappin'. You should've been there. (rhythmic noise) "Did you hear? Everyone on Facebook just graduated "magna cum laude from law school." Oh, boy. There is definitely a time of the year when everyone graduates from law school and they definitely announce on all social media that they just graduated from law school, especially if they graduated with honors, and everybody knows about it because they're telling everyone all the time. Very true. (rhythmic noise) "Why yes, I totally spent three years in law school, "took the bar exam, and spent $150,000 just so I could "give you free legal advice." (laughs) Oh, boy. Yeah. So, word to the wise, for future law graduates: when you graduate from law school you won't really know anything about the law, you won't know anything about practicing law, but that will not stop all of your friends and family from asking you for free legal advice. If you give free legal advice to someone, they effectively become your client. That's why you hear lawyers all the time, myself included, saying that this is not legal advice, do not take this as legal advice, do not get free legal advice from a YouTube attorney because if I were to purposefully and intentionally give you legal advice, that would make you my client. I'm ethically bound to then represent you, and so that's why I try not to do it. And that is why all you new law graduates out there, remember that that is your best defense from preventing a thousand people from being your clients, including friends and family. So, remember, friends don't let friends give free legal advice. (rhythmic noise) "When you're at court and someone is pissing off the judge "before your case." (exasperated sigh) (laughs) I really feel this meme. When you go to court, there's usually a long docket. There might be literally 20 cases in front of the judge that morning. Usually, the hearings are in the morning, or if you have a trial, it's in the afternoon, and the judge will just wanna knock these out one after the other, and the thing is if the people ahead of you are arguing, they're going to piss off the judge, and they're going to make your hearing particularly difficult. So, yeah. You just sit there in the gallery, amongst all the other people who are waiting to have their cases heard, and you're just like, "Bruh, "come on, let it go. "Stop riling up the judge. "I have this, like, tiny thing that I need the judge "to rubber stamp. "Stop screwing up my hearing." And obviously, when I go to court, I have to wear a suit and tie because you have to look good when you're in court, but when I'm not in court, I tend to wear things that are a lot more casual, like the stuff that I'm wearing right now, which is why I'm so thrilled that Mack Weldon is today's sponsor, because this shirt that I've been wearing for this entire time both in the snow and inside is a Mack Weldon polo. It's incredibly soft and incredibly comfortable. I've worn it for hours at a time playing tennis. It's great for athletic and athleisure. I love it to death. Now, I'm also wearing their world-famous boxer briefs, but obviously I can't show you that, but here is a picture of me wearing those boxer briefs. It's definitely me. It is not a model. It is not stock photography. That's clearly my body there in the background. I'm sorry that we couldn't show my face in this picture, but I assure you, that's definitely me wearing those boxer briefs. Mack Weldon is a men's essential clothing company that focuses on smart design and premium fabrics, and as I said, if I'm not in court, I'm probably wearing something like this, much more casual, much more athletic. I've tried their polos, their t-shirts, their shorts, and of course their world-famous boxer briefs, and if you're watching this channel, you're an adult, and you probably deserve to have nice boxer briefs, and I can tell you it makes a world of difference. I ordered with my own money. I had multiple sizes shipped to me to try different sizes on and then I just returned the ones that didn't fit me right and kept the ones that fit perfectly. Now, if you would like to try Mack Weldon and you'd like 20% off your first order, just go to MackWeldon.com/LegalEagle or use the promo code legaleagle at checkout, or you can click the link in the description that I have put down there in the doobly-doo. So, just click on that link, go to MackWeldon.com/LegalEagle, or use the promo code legaleagle for 20% off your first order. And Mack Weldon's loyalty program can get you 20% off, free shipping, and access to new products. And if you wanna try their famous boxer briefs, and you decide for any reason that you're not satisfied, you can just keep them and still get a free refund, because who wants to return used underwear? (dog yips) So again, just click on the link in the description. Clicking on that link really helps out this channel. So, do you agree with my analysis of these ridiculous legal memes, or do you have another legal meme that you would like me to review? Let me know in the comments, and check out this playlist over here that has all of my other meme reviews and my reactions to the things on Reddit and Twitter and all the other crazy legal issues that are happening on social media. So, just click on this playlist and I'll see you in court.
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Channel: LegalEagle
Views: 645,565
Rating: 4.6328573 out of 5
Keywords: Legaleagle, legal eagle, breaking news, case, congress, court case, crime, guilty, jury, latest news, news, not guilty, political, politics, politics news, scotus, supreme court, the trial, trial, Verdict, copyright, law advice, legal analysis, lawyer, attorney, Real lawyer, Real law review, coronavirus, covid-19, donald trump, coronavirus explained, virus, pandemic, outbreak, how to prevent coronavirus
Id: r4EVn03aCJg
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 20min 46sec (1246 seconds)
Published: Sun Mar 22 2020
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