How Single Christians Find a Beautiful Perfect Person | Dr. Gene Kim

[Music] and I teach you about I mean this teaching will be named for singles today is for you singles you want to find love in your life okay so those of you who became saved Bible believing Christians I'm sure you understand how hard it is to find the right person right because Bible believers are like a diamond a dozen or it's smaller than that or really small the world is huge and vast so they have all the options of finding their own spouse whereas Bible believers they're just like a small little dot and then what you're trying to do is you're trying to find the love of your life within what range this big range you know within this small range here now think about it this is the temptation great now to go to where because look how big it is and look how small your options are see so I want to give a teaching that will help you find the love of your life push me try and try to encourage you okay try to encourage you now the first thing to understand is is is that I believe that this is the number one problem now you don't want to hear this but it will be the most helpful for you to find love life your your problem is you're all living in a fantasy now that's your number one problem you might say why is that creature I'm going to find me a beautiful drop-dead gorgeous stud or woman I'm gonna look for one who loves Jesus Christ loves God's Word and will attend a Bible believing Church and then is willing to work her way for the Lord and she has this great character to God's love god bless you what how are you gonna find one like that now keep your headache please you asked ease mom look at proverbs 31 proverbs chapter 31 verse 10 who can find a what virtuous woman for a price is far above rubies look at that what are the chances of fighting that see you want no problem I'm gonna find me a rich girl how's it turn out fine and she's gotta have a great character beautiful looks and look look bro you're not gonna find one like that okay so the problem is is that you know what now let me ask you this question where did you get that idea from yeah I think you maybe look at too many magazines you want you too much television they're not going to put an ugly actress over there on the screen okay I'm not going to put an ugly actor there - they deliberately go through a huge screening process to find the best one for the role you teach appreciate a woman like that a guy like that good luck man so you see you got to realize you got to get outside of that fantasy now here's the number one thing that is going to be very helpful for you so your hand is that includes you actually swung right keep it there and go to first Corinthians 7 first Corinthians 7 you know what you don't want to do you don't want to pay the price marriage is not about what pleases you it's paying the price you're going to have to sacrifice appearance or some character defect our financial defect or your own standards of your own fantasy of a husband or life you're going to have to lower those standards and give up those standards and be willing to pay the price now you're not the problem you know why this is evidence of fantasy it's not just Bible believers you think that if you're in here you'll have better luck know this world so vast they also have this problem too you know why it's now 50% of Americans went through divorce that's huge man we're getting more and more prone into a fantasy not into a reality majority of Americans don't want to pay the price of marriage see that you don't want to go up because their jobs conflict their dreams conflict their goals conflict etc etc see it's you thought you got the right person didn't you no that's not how it works that's a fantasy do you think when you first date the person that the person is going to show you all the defects of his or her side oh they're gonna be smoothly theater they're gonna try to impress you they're gonna fool you into the fantasy this is me you with let me add this to man I gotta be wise about the prime but I'm saying a lot of important goal here the greatest evidence is Hollywood celebrities see even if you get the looks like the Hollywood stars how many of them always divorced like I like I'll be safe and generous nearly all of them [Laughter] just to be safe but you know my personal opinion is definitely awkward I knew that when they cuff those couples got together I give it 10 years it's always that kind of a gap five or ten years did you know there are some who only got married within one day and they divorce many missed actors famous actresses Jonah Hill American this girl got divorced within the the honeymoon or within several days after the marriage you see it's not all about your it's not as ideal as you think you think so let's assume that you're not in this small little circle you're over here it's not gonna get any better this is the number one most helpful thing you gotta be willing to pay the price I saw the people who I counseled here in this church they even realize the vanity of beauty the vanity of their own ideal you know why it goes away it goes away and then when it goes away how are you going to stick to that spouse in that you're supposed to love them if those ideals are gone if that fantasy is gone now how are you going to stick to that husband unless you have the willingness to pay the price to begin with you will stick to the all right so I told you to turn to first Corinthians 7 as well so I'm spending so much time on this one because I'm trying to make you understand something so let's read this quickly first Corinthians chapter 7 first and look at verse 27 art thou bound unto a wife seek not to be one loose art that loosed from a wife seek not a wife that's also look at some more verses right here verse 12 but to the rest speak I not the Lord if any man have to wipe that believe it not and she be pleased to dwell with him let him what not hug her away and the woman which hath an husband that believeth not and if he be pleased to dwell with her let her what not leavin pay the price that's what God wants you to do pay the price what God hath joined together Genesis chapter 1 let not who make it asunder man he said your job I made in asunder is it her appearance her fault I made under his appearance that meeting in asunder he said his my career his goal her goal her life career the one that costed us under or you you caused it to make it a thunders you're the problem you're in that fantasy he please she asked his lung well if I get that woman I know I will hit it solid it went through a thousand he didn't hit one you think you can have it made then after that it's almonds a king man he had a thousand man pay the price it's the most ladies notice what King Solomon said well look at chapter 2 chapter 2 verse 10 and whatsoever my eyes desired I kept not from them I withheld not my heart from any joy from my heart rejoice in all my labor and this was my portion of all my labor then I looked on all the works at my hands that rock and on the labor that I labor to do and behold all was what vanity and what vexation of spirit and there was no profit under the Sun look at that all that he had all that he owned brought no joy in his heart but include she asked he pointed out that the women did not give enjoy all right so you're in a fantasy all right another thing is this reality so what you've got to do is this is that if you want to get the girl and the guy you got to realize this they've got the same expectations as you do so here's the thing okay you're not some princess in a story it's going to get some kind of Prince Charming all of a sudden now here's the thing though is that people have those kind of lemons so if they have those kind of expectations what you've got to do it is this you've got to be the one that's got a little good you've got to be the person that people want it's a matter of fact if you're going to look beautiful then you're gonna have people that want you it's a matter of fact that if you're gonna work out have a nice body there's gonna be some people who are more attracted to you it's a matter of age you got a lot of money in the bank a lot of people are going to be attracted to you if you're very smart and have several degrees you're gonna have several people attracted to you that's a matter of fact you might say no I don't believe that no you believe that because why else right now you would be sensitive about how you look how you're dressed why would you be that sensitive if you didn't really believe that see it's a matter of fact everyone knows deep down inside the heart they gotta look good so when you're talking to a person you can't just be weird now you Bible believers you don't understand this man if I'm a believer long you can't believe you can't be weird okay you can't just go up to a girl and then tell her that because you're a Catholic you're going to burn in hell for all eternity [Music] so you got to realize this person that a person will find attraction - well I'm ugly hey did you know that if you put the effort in getting the right clothes in looking good and working out I don't care how bad your genetics are oh you're going to catch somebody so now I'm drunk now I'm trying to tell you something here there is no excuse that works for you that everybody hates you that no one likes you no there is someone out there but if you're not using the means to become the person alright a lot of people that's why they'll do some kind of dumb plastic surgery that's really bad in Korea okay so they do that because they're not because they're trying to look like this Barbie doll fantasy and you got to realize this is that you can't do some kind of fake cheap way like that you gotta use the means that God has given to you now what God has given to you now more cunning it's giving you an opportunity we stress a lot about proper dressing not looking like the world but that does not mean we want you to look ugly for crying out loud okay my goodness people say we just want me to look like an element's when I come in - no your problem is your back into fantasy that's not what we are okay coo coo coo coo that's the problem all right so the point is this is that be smooth okay what is it that you can do to attract the person use a little bit of humor be normal be kind be interesting what they love what they like look good how good press when you talk to them alright don't be weird that's reality now another thing is this you got to be honest but you got to be wise about it got any lies can't just be to Frank you know you gotta be like hey how did I get these people in line I use wisdom see did I get you through a long word called dispensationalism or was it Satan has a side it was dr. Jean Kim UC Berkeley and PB I see that's the thing is that no I'm not lying but see it's being wise that's good you got to be realistic you got to realize what is people's ideals now this is especially important for you internet people internet people have a problem of their own kind of world okay you're watching too much of this and you think that your own kind of character is going to somehow attract the person and if no one's attracted to you you feel like that you're the most miserable person you're the most ugly person you're the most only person you're the only body believer and you will never find love that is wrong you've got the effort you will catch somebody out there and you got to be wise when you talk to the person - there's another thing is yeah you got to take the initiative they don't take the initiative they think that somehow in some way God didn't dump down some kind of super model from heaven who's going to be King James only okay you've got to take the initiative of getting a life one Bible I said got a great wife because he had somebody going traveling on the other side of the world to get a good woman for you you got to take the initiative well I'm ugly I'm not could you be surprised if you take the initiative there's this one person okay and Pensacola Bible Institute and he did not look at it was not a good looker okay but you know what he came across this girl at the mall and she was I'll be honest she was good luck okay so then when he hit on her me what he did he took the initiative but he was also being what he was trying to be the person but when he took the initiative he was being wise about it so what he did was is that put such smooth you know is like saying he was dressed up like you know like a guy who worked there almost I said can I help you find something and she was like oh I need to find a certain shoe and then he was like hating her they're trying to fit in shoes but then it was all it was all clumsy he didn't work out and then she obviously knew that but she was playing along because why he'd attracted her and then he said at the end I'll be honest with you I don't work here I'm just doing this because I think you're attractive would you go out with me she went out with now here's another thing what he did was he was being smooth and natural after that he took her to the last Church he would want to take to dr. up his church the problem is a blunt person man but you know what she said in there not only that she sat in pbi classes you know what happened after that she got stay she became a Bible believer she got married at dr. Altman's Church I know that there are some people in my church even in my church as well and in my home church I've been to several churches they've done the same thing too that's why they got the woman or the guy they wanted well I'm too ugly no to be surprised that there are sometimes pretty people who are attracted to that see but you've got to try to be the person you got to take the initiative you gotta take the initiative Isaac took the initiative all right why he was screwed man he didn't Trump his own horn yeah something servant trumping about his horn right there and greatest thing he's rich he's famous he owns a lot of cattle you know he loves dog she went for that so take the initiative without me why is about C so when you're trying to be the person and you're taking the initiative you obviously have to use wisdom to catch the person so here's the thing is that obviously when you come up to the person you obviously don't say we will you marry me I know some DVI students didn't have common sense and they just said that to the girl on the first day she spit out food from her mouth after that so the thing is is that obviously you got to be natural and smooth so like so just let me give you some examples here okay so then there were some girls actually that actually I went out with because they didn't come out and say blatantly like you know will you marry me will you go out with me or something like that and when I did that to the girls it wasn't that way either you don't understand this is that how we did it was something natural something comfortable okay it's probably asking an honest biblical question first and then asking more biblical questions and then it develops into friendship then after that then you can catch the intimacy there after that and once you see glimpses of intimacy then you can actually break the ice will you go out with me in separate etc so you gotta take the initiative and you gotta realize the reality but all that culminates with wisdom all that culminates with wisdom some people you got to realize well I don't have that pastor well see that's like you got to get out of your house you gotta deal with real-life people you know look I never let me encourage you with if this is any encouraged this is any encouragement if this is any encouragement to you alright if this is any encouragement to you I'm not a smooth guy all right during my whole teenage life during my whole teenage life I never made it all right during my whole teenage life and even in my early 20s I never made it and I did not have the common sense of people well you know how I'm not saying I'm smooth okay but I did okay I did win a few points obviously no why why because of dealing with real-life people how many different people of different backgrounds and cultures and age groups have I seen in church school I went to college okay I got just the people of the world see you've got that's why there's so much about attending a Bible believing Church you can get a common sense of different people over there after that so what you've got to do is that if you want to develop something that's why to find the right woman obviously then is what we talked about Hebrews chapter 10 verse 25 then right you won't turn there for time sake because they spend so much time doing babble babble but Hebrews chapter 10 verse 25 if you're gonna find the Bible believer you got to go to them I will believe it's that simple assemble was saved Christians Hebrews 10:25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together as a manner of some is but exhorting one another so much the more as you see the Day approaching if you do that you get better chances of finding a Bible believer in there now I want to say this with caution the caution is is that I do not recommend social media to find the right person but you got to realize is there are some people who found the right person to social media as well because why their time to find they say believers summer they're trying to simple with some kind of safe believer out there I had family members or friends who knew of a girl and they hooked me up with them how did that happen because I assembled with the same so you gotta if you want to find a Bible believer you got to connect to a Bible believer in church caution caution with the internet or with other Bible believers that you know of here's another thing is that they're not going to come out the way like you are King James only dispensational and all that so you got to realize that they're not going to be like that so you got to realize the reality is that it's too big of a world so take the initiative and with wisdom make them grow to become like you and then once you get them to become like you you draw the line then you tie the knot in marriage and dating after that because well the world is wicked yeah I know but you won't know until you get to know them until you work with them see so that's why it's important that you either find it among saved Christians here and if you're going to go out into the real world you got to be wise about it and you got to face the reality of it and naturally work with them to become a Bible believer now there was this one person buying you at church she married this person through online and I felt very uneasy because it was too soon it was too soon and then I was like you know this takes some time and all that but the person didn't listen guess what the person already had a wife in North Carolina it was horrible so what you need as well as this is that this is the most important point and then we'll close all right you need approval by Bou God and and you know what we got a church this is extremely important lady's father get the parents did well that's between them and God you know but anyway the approval is this is that you gotta get God and the church well why because you got to realize this just because you're involved with that person that person may not be good for you so there are fellow pastors who counseled many different marriages and seeing ruined homes they'll say that's not the right person for you you've got to be more cautious about that that's why God laid out rules right here don't marry an unbeliever because he knew what will happen at the end see so you got to get approval by God and the church if you don't do that that's why I really believe in pastors doing the weddings see because it's a it's a public act that the pastor approved of it and the church approval that is very important is that you get God and the churches approval because the thing is if you don't get their approval why are they why do you need their approval because there's a spiritual reason behind it you don't understand now here's one thing that I want to say this I'm going to give a personal testimony of myself this is why this very different teaching so I gave you a few glimpses of myself here but let me say this for those people who are discouraged online well I still think that I can't find the right person alright lovely I've done all these steps too okay and I had chances with several women but that didn't work out do you know why it's because I thought what would be right in God's eyes in the future and how the church would improve of it that's why here's another thing is that there are some women who are Bible believers and then I could have tied the knot but then I realize that they don't have they're not able to become a pastor's wife because I went through a lot of hurt and my life is going to face a lot of her too but the kind of she had was not going to be one that would fit the rule of pastor's wife so - for their betterment to rescue their life is that I would have to break it off why can't you be like the other person who took the initiative right with a unbeliever growing them up to become a Bible believer I could probably do that but I can't do that as frequent as you you guys have more freedom to do that than I do you know why because how will I be known then to my church a pastor who's trying to hit on girls what if I use social network to hook me up with mom a pastor who's going through social media there's more hope for you than for me you don't understand because a pastor's life is an extreme burden and limitation and I did everything I could I'm trying to look real good and then you know I graduated from Berkeley my family background had a lot of wealth but my dad gave that up and became a pastor but my relatives you'd understand they were really really rich so when my dad first took that to live in a small little apartment that had no air condition that was quite a sacrifice you guys seemed nice accra fice living in a small shack for two years because why my love is more extreme for God and say they're leavers the body of Christ then what pleases my flesh and that's the ultimate thing and if you had that kind of heart do you think God is going to let you down perhaps perhaps a person will be single for her life or the rest of his life perhaps they will have a person that doesn't shoot their standard or level but trust me on this one okay you have the perfect one that you thought you got if it's not under the approval of God in the church you're going to be like those Hollywood celebrities who are miserable and they divorce within a short time even if you have everything perfect but if you have the approval of God in the church they will never let you down now of course our son say believing in the body of Christ who did let me down but overall the entire TV all all by the believing body of Christ as well as God himself they never let me down all this time see that's the reason why I know that I am alright in Jesus Christ see it can be discouraging that when you fit out everything you know the good looks the money and the education and then if you can sing and if you have some kind of some kind of smooth skills and talking that a girl would be interested in you or a guy would be interested in you and then what they hear that you're a pastor I have that so look here's the thing is that during my teenage years in early 20s I was unable to date and then other girls that had the opportunity didn't work out but see I did not live in fear during my early plenty or in the life I knew everything was gonna be all right and God will not let me now if I had that much faith in God during my early 20s to send me the right person and I had more of a disadvantage playing than you guys there's more hope for you that's more hope for you all right so I hope that this will be a help to you you

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Keywords: The Vigilant Christian, Israeli News Live, BP Earth Watch, Paul Begley, RichieFromBoston, Robert Breaker, The Watchman, conspiracy, End Times Production, SoulJa Of GOD, J.D. Farag, Acts17Apologetics, flat earth, antichrist, Trump, Obama, Rob Skiba, rapture, Jonathan Kleck, Sid Roth, Steve Cioccolanti, King James, Mark Dice, Ravi Zacharias, Wretched, bible believer, aliens, Living Waters, Doug Batchelor, Joel Osteen, Joseph Prince

Id: egSMFaGMBPs

Length: 31min 1sec (1861 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 01 2018