How Narcissist Man-child Self-supplies

foreign an adult grafted onto a child the narcissist is often described as a men child but he is actually neither and the reason he appears so outlandish so eerie so creepy and weird the reason he provokes the famous uncami Valley reaction as if he were some kind of Almost Human an Android a robot the reason he provokes these emotions in his human surroundings is because he juxtaposes wrongly he becomes an adult where he should have been childlike then he becomes a child in adult situations and this misappropriation and misallocation of Roads render him monstrous or freakish and very frequently both gradually the narcissist is shunned by one and and Everyone by one in Sundry he he's left alone he is avoided he's ignored he's mocked and ridiculed and derided he's exposed is confined and so in this situation The Narcissist sources of narcissistic Supply are depleted to the point that they cannot be recovered or reconstructed and it is then that he resorts however reluctantly to self-supply the more of a man child the narcissist is the more likely he is to end his life totally self-reliant self-contained self-subsisting in self-supplying a solipsistic atom drifting in the world with zero interactions the narcissist's mental age is anywhere between two years and at the maximum of nine years nine years is a high functioning narcissist the vast majority of people with narcissistic personality disorder gets stuck at age two when separation individuation from mother faders imagine that's an infant not even a toddler and that's the mental age the emotional age of the narcissist cognitively the narcissist is capable of the most amazing deeds and feats but then when he has to process the consequences of his actions reactions by people input feedback attempts to interface with him or to relate to him he lacks the most basic apparatus the most basic instruments and he doesn't know what to do and then he chooses to become an overbearing coercive sadistic threatening controlling adult a parody of a man an imitation of some kind a simulation gun or eye artificial intelligence which consists only over hallucination or he regresses he regresses at the speed of light it's disorienting and infantilizes becomes a baby in order to avoid responsibility and to broadcast to signal to the environment I'm a child don't hurt me in both situations self-supply is critical today I'm going to touch upon the eight or seven or eight techniques that narcissists use to self-supply all narcissists go through schizoid phases all of them withdraw from a world that because had become injurious or mortified all of them process lick their wounds process process trauma all of them get re-traumatized narcissism is a post-traumatic condition the form of cptsd so all of them get re-traumatized pretty easily they're triggered and so the go through schizoid phases self Supply is a critical component in the Armory of the narcissist it's so it's it's a prime tool for self-regulation now in the narcissist case regulation is usually external The Narcissist does not have a self is selfless so he doesn't have a sense of self but he has a sense of self-worth and his self-worth keeps fluctuating to stabilize it and regulate it and monotonize it if you wish he resorts to Outsiders to sources of narcissistic Supply so he's very much nonsense is very much like a borderline or to some extent like a codependent there is external regulation going on when this fails for objective reasons and sometimes for subjective reasons The Narcissist undergoes a mental health crisis or develops a kind of micro psychosis so so these are subjective it's a subjective background for avoiding people whenever the narcissist is incapable of extracting narcissistic Supply from people at that point he becomes his own audience his biggest fan a member of his own cult his God and the only worshiper becomes a one-man Society a one-person culture in the totality and entirety of History compressed into a single body and that's the narcissist today's topic how the narcissist men child sells supplies and a proper Man Child my name is Savage I am the author of malignant self-love narcissism I'm a former visiting professor of psychology in Southern federal University or servandon the thriving Russian Federation and I have been a member of The Faculty of siops for many many years now only a decade siops is the Commonwealth for international Advanced professional studies and outreach program it has campuses or offices in Toronto Canada Cambridge United Kingdom and another thriving location Lagos Nigeria there was a mouthful wasn't it okay look it up let's delve right in surf Supply is the ability to generate narcissistic Supply attention adulation admiration affirmation Applause self-congratulations Etc oh congratulations so the ability to generate Supply from the inside while convincing yourself that the supply is actually coming from the outside so clinically speaking self Supply is a delusional disorder that's a clinical term it's a delusion and it involves a suspension or impairment of reality testing and a host of defense mechanisms and I refer you to my video on defense mechanisms that I've made about a few days ago and so they're all in action in the case of self-supply but there are ways to engender Harvest soon Supply there are techniques developed early on in life by the narcissists and I'm going to discuss these techniques today technique number one reframing reality rewriting The Narrative Reinventing the story in a way that buttresses upholds affirms and confirms the narcissists inflated fantastic grandiose view of himself reframing reality involves filtering out countervailing negating and challenging information and data on the one hand and taking in elements of reality which can be profitably recombined into a plausible sounding story or narrative that convinces The Narcissist himself that his false self is not false so it's The Narcissist treats reality it's a kind of raw material and then he processes this raw material produce narcissistic Supply in-house it's like moonshine a moonshine factory making in-house in making whiskey at home during the prohibition period so he generates narcissistic Supply inside but he does use elements from reality and the reason he needs to use realistic elements is because the narcissist is not actually clinically delusional he is he is partly delusional but he is still very much in touch with reality through representations of reality in his mind through internal objects so he internalizes reality and then of course he photoshops it idealizes it devalues it processes it reframes it falsifies it and everything else so while the psychotics raw material is his internal world The Narcissist raw material is the external world and he converts it into a 100 internal representation internal tableau so The Narcissist reframes reality in a way that helps him to admire himself to pay attention to himself to adulate his own accomplishments to be old or struck and speechless faced with his own Grandeur magnanimity charity intellect etc etc when wherever the locus of control may be so this is a reframing of reality mechanism number one now we all to be clear we all reframe reality very frequently but we usually do it in order to avoid hurt and pain and palatable outcomes in order to protect ourselves from dissonance and the anxiety that ensues and so these are practical functional reasons to reframe reality the analysis reframes reality needlessly absolutely needlessly just in order to support a narrative or a story that is counterfactual mostly not fully but mostly so in this sense The Narcissist Behavior is very similar to the generation of an ideology narcissists are ideological they have an ideology and they are religious narcissism is a form of private religion when narcissist is this God and the only worshiper in the body of the church so this rigidity because religions are rigid ideologies are even more rigid ideologies are secular religions so this rigidity is what forces the narcissist to constantly rewrite reality because reality is not rigid reality is surprising inflexible and unpredictable and indeterminate and uncertain and that's not helpful that's not helpful because the narcissist only difference against disintegration against the compensation the only defense is the belief that some things are immutable unchangeable forever no not God The Narcissist or more precisely his view of himself that is for eternity the second mechanism is to create an inflated count of factual self-perception in a way that no longer requires external external input so to kind of augment ossify regenify and fossilize the narcissist's perception of himself which is as I said often counterfacture always inflated and fantastic so to cast this self-perception in Stone and Marble so that it becomes a work of art for the ages so once this is done there is no need for narcissistic Supply from the outside the only thing the narcissist needs to do is to regurgitate recycle rehash old Supply become nurses becomes his own secondary source of Supply his own recording mechanism recording and replay mechanism a reenactment of his days of Glory his accomplishments the the reactions from the from the environment etc etc so he sits there convinced of his own uh grandiose perception convinced of his own divinity convinced that he's a deity and he recycles memories essentially also refrained also falsified but what he perceives as memories he recycles them to constantly buttress and support this self-perception so if the narcissist for example has an image of himself as a good helpful person um if he has an image of himself of someone who is always victimized or if he has an image of himself as someone who is constantly at the center of conspiracies and malign attention by others because of Envy or hatred or whatever it these are examples of self Scripts self-narratives that no longer require input from the outside the narcissist The Narcissist would say um and it flies in the face of evidence The Narcissist could commit any and every conceivable reprehensible moral Act anything from stealing to to I mean you name it nurses would do anything and then he would say I'm a good person I've done these things because I had no choice I had no choice because I'm traumatized or because I'm victimized or because I was forced to do it or because it was manipulated because I was misled because I'm a paper pleaser and I just wanted to please others well because I'm codependent and I'm mentally ill and I can't help it and so this is an example of of self-supply similarly when the narcissist is constantly casts himself as a victim he can do no wrong he's never responsible for his choices and decisions and it's everything is coming from the outside all his intimate partners are evil and corrupt and horrible and tormented the poor the poor thing and you know he couldn't help it if he's just that's an example of self Supply and of course paranoid ideation is a major instrument of cell Supply it was Paranoia by definition requires secrecy requires isolation you isolate yourself because you are at risk you're under a threat you're threatened so you isolate yourself but you can perceive the act of isil isolating yourself as an aggrandizing act you're isolating yourself because you're a very important person you are the butt of conspiracies at the center at the center of conspiracies you are you are of Interest I don't know to the CIA or to some group of people who are gang stalking you and and so paranoia is the flip side of the narcissism coin it's a grandiose reaction a grandiose cognitive distortion and when you develop paranoid ideation it's a double yummy as far as cell Supply because it legitimizes your isolation and it convinces you that you are a very very crucial person a person of import as a parallel deviation is very common in Surf Supply the next technique is to reassign weights to sources of supply so you rank certain sources of Supply as low and others is Rich poor in Rich negative and positive fake and real so your sign Waits to sources of supply and it is your power as an Arbiter as a judge as a referee to decide which source of supply would count and which one would be discounted or discarded it is this power that constitutes self-supply so the narcissist who sells supplies this way sits sits at home alone and ticks off boxes this source of Supply is meaningless this source of Supply is important but I got all the supplier needed this and so he kind of rearranges the narcissistic Supply space the pathological narcissistic space in a way that all sources of Supply become extensions of the narcissist under his judgment in control he decides their Destiny in fate in hierarchy and ranking and gives him a feeling of being Godlike thank you the next technique in cell Supply is to convert negative to positive Supply when the analysis receives negative supply for example when he is criticized when he is attacked when he is ridiculed or mocked when he is threatened when is he can take this and convert it into positive Supply one way of doing it is via paranoid ideation they're threatening me because I mean a lot to them they are stalking me because I to this very day I'm a very important person in their emotional lives they can't give up on me they said the heartbroken that I'm out of their lives they are threatening me because they're desperate and there's nothing else they can do um they're hopeless helpless because I'm omnipotent they are ridiculing me and mocking me because they're stupid they're getting it wrong they can't understand certain things and so ultimately they are they they are the derizory figures they are they are worthy of derision and and so on and so forth so taking negative Supply in converting it into positive Supply by reframing the situation making many assumptions and creating many hypotheticals and then constructing a coherent cohesive self-consistent narrative around this around these assumptions in in figments and so the negative supplies suddenly becomes proof of importance proof of meaningfulness proof of significance so narcissists very often would brag about having enemies they would share the threats they are getting they would they would be gratified by by how important they are how important they still are to the people who are attacking them threatening them berating them uh mocking them etc etc because this is exactly like paranoid ideation the narcissist is still the center of attention this is one way of self Supply the next technique of self Supply is future or past orientation The Narcissist can tell himself I will be recognized only in the future I am so ahead of my time I am such an incredible genius that only future Generations will adulate me admire me and appreciate my contribution in these future Generations become real to the narcissists because the narcissist interacts only with internal representations and so he basks in the glow of his future Glory yet to be realized actualized and accomplished another way is to go back to the past to develop a past orientation and to say well I have changed the world I have been meaningful I have done this and I have done that and then to assume that you are still present in the minds of no general of those Generations in the past somehow so it's to impute presence influence to people in the past or to people in the future that's one way of self Supply the next next way to self Supply is very similar to paranoid ideation but not exactly it's self-againizing referential ideation ideas of reference it's to assume that any post made on Instagram is about you any video or video snippet has to do with you they are hidden messages they are occult signals there's an attempt to communicate or beg you to communicate this so the belief that other people's speech acts behaviors choices and decisions revolve exclusively around you is known as referential ideation and is a major form of self-supply the narcissist develops theories multiple theories as to why people behave the way they do especially if they do it in public why they behave the way they do because of him it all has to do with him they are processing grief they're threatening him they're making a promise they are attempting to communicate you name it it's gonna create a theory of why they behave the way they do which has to do with him of course in the vast majority of cases these theories are wrong preferential ideation is often wrong and finally another method of self-suplying described by Scholars who worked with multiplication with narcissistic modification it's the delusional Revenge fantasy delusional Revenge fantasies especially after modification are major ways to self-supply The Narcissist goes into extreme intricate fine detail in planning Revenge upon his enemies real and perceived he he leaves the Revenge this is known as imagery it's like an imagery exercise he he enters his revenge becomes like a theme park and he enters the theme park and he he cultivates and nurtures in waters and thinks about and contemplates and considers and analyzes and synthesizes everything it becomes a full-time job it becomes a Pastime a hobby and the Revenge fantasy fulfills him with a sense of omnipotence and even omniscience because he knows what he's planning they don't he knows what's coming they don't and this asymmetry of information gratifies him no end and caters to his sadistic side as well this is a form of cell Supply now there are many other forms of self supplying but these are the most common strategies self Supply is a crucial maintenance phase in the narcissist in the narcissist cycle of existence narcissist is often run out of narcissistic Supply and they have to self-supply or perish and so they serve Supply additionally self Supply is a mechanism of self-regulation that appears to be external regulation so it's ego congruent it doesn't disrupt the narcissist's balance equilibrium it the narcissist experiences self-supply is a natural continuation of external Supply because he makes no distinction between external objects and internal objects everything is happening in his in his mind in his head so self-supplies perceived as external especially if the self-supplied is linked intimately to specific internal objects which represent people out there real external logics internal objects in his mind are infused with the energy of the self-supplied they are perfected with self-supply and so they attain these internal objects attain an existence of their own and are misperceived as external the synopsis is classic confusion between internal and external objects in many ways what I'm describing is a bit psychotic because it involves elements of hyper reflexivity and this is what can bird this is canberra's observation that's why you call borderline border line on the border between neurotic and psychotic surf Supply is the purest form of supply and the crystallization of the narcissistic disorder of the self it is true self-supplied through the prism of cell Supply that we can study pathological narcissism better than any other way isolate the narcissist on an island in his narcissism would transition smoothly and seamlessly from external Supply to self Supply the narcissism will continue unhindered the narcissistic personality structure and organization will not be disrupted or interrupted but the supply would become internal into a very large extent delusional the narcissist's men child Is On The Border between men and child undecided in limbo borrows elements from both and because it's a very young child self-supply is very very reminiscent of certain Dynamics in childhood such as primary narcissism and yet it involves adult adult elements such as Revenge fantasies and so again we see the chimeric nature of the narcissist the hybrid nature of the narcissist it is a men or a woman of course not fully formed half-baked disrupted in a process a human being interrupted similarly magical thinking which is typical of childhood is an integral part of self-supply The Narcissist confuses the reality of his internal world with the reality of the external world consequently events and dynamics that are happening inside his mind are misperceived to have occurred or to be occurring in the outside externally in the real world gradually The Narcissist comes to develop superstitions and believes that he is capable of affecting the outside world by merely altering his internal landscape by by merely thinking about something or wishing something to happen or imagining something or believing in something he induces in his mind he induces change in his environment both human and inanimate this is very typical thinking in childhood children have this more or less until age 36 months but it survives into adulthood in pathological narcissism and is at the core of self Supply The Narcissist projects his Supply onto an unsuspecting environment but because to his mind there's no distinction between in and out internal and external this act of projecting the supply outward is misperceived as receiving Supply from the outside actually the supply is 100 internal but perceived or misperceived is 100 external magical thinking is another example of the men child hybrid in narcissism and there's also the issue of the action of primitive defense mechanisms such as projection but also splitting projective identification and so on this infantile regressive defense mechanisms no longer operate in adulthood in the vast majority of healthy and normal people but with the narcissist they're still very much dominate narcissism pathological narcissism is a failure at develop developing adult defense mechanisms and so the childhood ones the childlike ones or the infantile defense mechanisms survive self-supply relies on these mechanisms for example The Narcissist splits everyone into all good people and all bad people and the old bad people are after him they're out to get him and this this Fosters paranoid ideation but of course paranoia is a form of grandiosity similarly The Narcissist divides the entire world into good and evil black and white hot and cold loving and hating and so on and so forth this splitting mechanism creates the equivalent of a morality play the narcissist is on the side of good versus evil is on the side of good people versus evil people is being persecuted and prosecuted and threatened by really really bad characters now this is a form of rewriting the world as a theater play rendering the world a theater play The Cinematic aspects of the narcissist's mind and life are undeniable in self-supply that's why I keep saying that self-supply is the purest form of pathological narcissism some reminders locus of grandiosity the narcissist is grandiose he distorts reality reframes it so as to support an inflated and fantastic self-image grandiosity therefore is a cognitive distortion but there is a Mis misperception of grandiosity as usual among self-styled experts online grandiosity is not about being the best the Father the fastest the greatest the most amazing grandiosity is about being special unique one of a kind sui generis unprecedented so listen well even negative input even scaving feedback even the most extreme criticism humiliation put Downs you name it even these can constitute narcissistic Supply sometimes you attack the narcissist you go into the narcissist you try your best to humiliate The Narcissist to expose The Narcissist to derive The Narcissist to laugh at the narcissist to mock to ridicule and so and so forth only to discover that all this time you have been providing the narcissist with narcissistic Supply a plenty thank you very much so if the attack or the criticism or the the humiliation or if they are sufficiently extreme they constitute narcissistic Supply so if you tell the narcissist you are the biggest abuser ever you're the most accomplished con artist you are the most egregious failure you're the most unprecedented ways these are forms of narcissistic Supply they will not lead to narcissistic injury and they will not result in modification because they aggrandize the narcissist they render the narcissist's special unique fascinating amazing the center of attention it's a wrong way to go about it okay so this is um the first point the locus of grandiosity the narcissist could be very proud of his failures of the fact that he's a loser of his abuse of his misconduct simply because they are unprecedented they are special and unique and amazing and egregious and extreme and radical that renders him rendezim One of a Kind hence narcissistic Supply

Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin

Views: 39,986

Keywords: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths, antisocial, psychopathology, therapy, relationships, abuse, psychotherapy, personality disorders, cluster B, DSM, self, ego, schizoid, borderline, pathology, compensatory, shared fantasy, collapsed, mortification, psychopath, somatic, cerebral, healing, dissociative identity disorder (DID), dissociation, re-parenting, integration, dysregulation, emotions, narcissistic supply, self-supply, false self, addiction, dependency

Id: pdExnn0QsRw

Length: 39min 19sec (2359 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 09 2023