How Mental Illness Derailed the Career of a Promising Young Skateboarder

I just remember being kid just like watching him for hours [Applause] we know what the hell who does it all that's pause pause Anders that what the he's a legend patience a legend you know very so around to see him skating out there just know there's something different about him the highest pop I've probably still ever seen [Applause] he was just unbelievably ahead of his time couldn't even fathom how you could do like that so effortlessly I don't really know what happened really with reading his when he wasn't around and stuff you know and people still talk about him and people so reminisce about myself for sure like I knew he'd had his battles you know because you'd see him come out he'd be here he'd skate and he'd be gone that's how I remember Paul always a bit gangster always got that little grin I guess we looked after Paul a little tried to influence him a little he was the kid who we could always get to kickflip the stairs that we've already didn't want to kickflip [Music] we're all from good backgrounds lived in nice villages on our boards skate in the streets causing a bit of trouble in the village never having a lift home and just having to skate everywhere just doing what skate kids did I guess and then obviously when we got a bit older we started smoking and pulled 12 to 13 when he started I was smoking by 14 it was smoking I lost he was just always out with all the guys so his praise came from the older guys which at that age is pretty cool feeling paul's ability on a skateboard he was quite frankly incredible he was progressing so quick but then with him going to Bristol he was just out killing [Music] first time I met Paul was when when him and his brother moved here to Bristol and I never met either of them and randomly one day I got a call from Steve he's like yeah you live in this house and you got like I heard you got two spare bedrooms and yeah me and my brother were moving down we need a place so I was like okay yeah calm like moving to my place so they just showed up on the door with boxes it was the first time I met they were both the pain in the ass like they cook dinner and leave the oven on and go out and like you come back a day later and the ovens about to explode well they've washed dishes which was very rare and leave the tap on everyone was around all the time you know because summer you got nothing to do but we get high and we just basically went skating and you know hung out and it was super dope [Music] the crew is really tight we would make the videos good filming like a simple back then we used to place weed all day use to smoke ten bongs and go skating it keeps a young skateboarder after me for me I used to feel off being around imp is what he did was dope the district's higher than everyone we do it up a curb you threw over a bench I've really learnt a lot from that a [Applause] Superfund DePaul definitely like whatever he turns his hand to he does it in his style and he does it his way like if you've seen him play football how he controls a ball or dancing everything he's like he's got the rhythm he's got it you're hanging out and you chillin you know after skating and he's like on his back flipping the board around with such crazy control but like some of the stuff we did without just having a laugh [Music] things were good he was killing getting more attention than ever with photographers and a film isn't getting in the mags a lot more he was climbing up my name is doing whoa he's getting covers of magazines and used pictures sponsors shoe company board company I never saw any reason to think that he's got something going on or none of that never not once you know he's smarter and quicker and sharper than everyone I remember playing his day the day when it all started happening he called me up and he's like Danny man you're in danger and I was like what do you mean I meant it more what he's like they're coming for you so I pour who's coming what he's like man I seen a car a red car went by and it had a D and a W in the license plate and then another car came and a red one and I can add some numbers in and it means they're coming for you minor and I was like dude where are you you hadn't slept for days he was having problems with his girlfriend and I think you know that and smoking and not sleeping that's what sort of started everything off right yeah I don't want to water for long - [Music] yeah oh man I can't really I can't really go into it really I was in love and I was heartbroken when it was over and a bit paranoid to be honest I don't know I don't know what's a we don't just I just I just got ill for some reason I don't know what happened I just it just clicked and I just became unwell I was trying to go to sleep if I couldn't go to sleep and I've never been in that situation before in my life so I just sort of walked off on my own I didn't come back for Chuy's it's just walking around like a zombie I'd been awake for so long I couldn't remember what I've done you know or days we'll be missing out of the week I'd keep some weed on me anyway in my pocket and I was just walking around the street at night on my own walking like 20 miles and I I think I weighed about ten and a half stone I looked ill everyone was worried about me I would be in the center of college green pretty much very deluded person I thought every time I heard the sirens of a police car there's someone rang the police on me so I used to think the police were sentence watch me the arm in descending to watch me and depending on what my eyeballs were doing like above left above right down right up down left I my own code for working it all out that's how complicated it got and I used to actually be scared of moving my eyes and stuff like that I was gambling on the tricks that I was doing I used to think that all cars were sent to me and that the girls were there to see me and that depended on what tricks are made I can leave of the girls in the cars so if I pulled a switch 360 flip first go 3 times in a row I'd make I'd have a Ferrari or something like that I used to think that it was all being filmed from above at the green when I was skating the weird part about it was as I actually believed that I'd made the greatest film of all time the film that I believed was happening that wasn't happening [Music] I don't know why I used to go to college green every day when when I was as in that is that really the problem is is my illness followed me around I probably turned a blind eye for a minute because I didn't know how to deal with it I didn't know what to do I didn't you know I got no experience of this or whatever ie B or ie get some sleeping these things of Libya rights lay off the weed for a bit you know he's a he's a homeys close mate and you're just like what I'll do like what's going on she just escalated you know I mean I've got I'm just saying something quiet people were noticing it you know saying bizarre things a little bit the mental health team was called in managed to round him up and say look we feel that you've got a Susan that you need a bit of helper here so we'll we will have to organise to send you off to a mental hospital for a short spell the first time I was sectioned or whatever it was pretty scary experience what they gave me was a drug called her a peridot and how a peridot makes she sort of like shiver it's like you know it's more powerful than any drug I've ever had on the street and it was like a proper scary experience so I felt ill all the time throughout the whole day the first time I went in 28 days seemed like years the medication was scare really strong you know you're thinking how am I ever going to skate again you can barely walk down the street I said to dad I don't want to be involved in this this medication make me feel ill it's making me feel ill please get me out of here he was kept in hospital for about further three months and then he came home to live with me yeah I remember they it sends me like you're not gonna try a few kick flips on flat to warm up forever I saw something I've done about a million he's gonna go for me I never thought that I'd ever achieve anything in the skate you know ever get anywhere good it was just a dream for me as a kid because I wanted to be a pro skater you know and then to be in the magazine I never thought that I had up and you know so I was pretty stoked went on tour first to Barcelona with a Cyrus I think they went to Ireland Portugal the prod ones and for Barcelona trips they were probably the best skate trips I've been on when I got my front cover for the magazine I had a sneaky feeling it might be from cover anyway because it was that good and idea to do a photo in a launderette lift out he was actually there during his washing I see him about a week later and I said mate you're on the front cover of the skate magazine because you're in the background it's hard if you not to be bitter it's society when you see people out there who were more crazy than you and I was doing something positive with my life I was gonna be a pro skater you know I was gonna make everyone proud I was gonna make everyone happen and that was my dream and they got shot down [Music] he's always been someone that I've had an interest in because I've had my of mental health you know like I got sectioned a few years ago so I feel like I have some what have an understanding like what maybe not as much as him but I've been in those places and I know how they are I was there for about six weeks but I know that if you stay that much longer than that and you don't have the right network of people it's just a psycho and you're never going to go out you know of all of your friends are like you probably got one too that you can really talk to that's just generally how a lot of guys are they kind of skim the surface and then they'll just keep things in [Music] especially in a circle of skiers and hanging out it's all cool and it's all this and that like everything's cool and everything needs to stay cool you know skaters for life man loves to be vulnerable and really let yourself be open like that I think opens you up for ridicule or a lot of people don't really hear you either you know tell me you just carry a lot of with you and you don't talk about it it took me ages to understand what he was going through to be fair like I didn't get it straight away because I've known him so well before I knew that it was something that was out of his control he was the same character but you'd always see in his li did there was something that he was thinking about I remember the kids that had been skating with him before Bristol and then I Wow poor scary and he was talking some weird stuff was tough to say that he's always you know don't be afraid of him he's fine he's just you know thinking of some crazy stuff like that I feel bad in a way because that I lost touch with Paul you know and he went to Leicester and he went in our sport you know I have my crazy life going on at the time to lose contact for that space of time yeah I feel guilty about that you know I feel bad about that we went from hanging out a lot to he was unless they're doing this thing and having a hard time you know them you know our lives all carried on I was scarred by being in hospital and being trapped not doing anything positive I'm a quite a wild person and I think that sometimes they get the wrong idea about that like if you put someone in prison you know they get out and they're a wild animal they just end up going back and back and it's similar to what happens to you in mental hospital I've sort of pretended that I'm cool about the situation when realistically it hurts me a lot more than that but I got out once and I didn't have any charisma left in me and my girlfriend left me and we were gonna have a family together you know I worry about some of the people in my life and some of the effects of them being around me when I was mentally ill I just wish that I could prove that I'm well so that they could rest and be relaxed and think our pools gone back to while it used to be because I feel like I am still that person that I used to be using skateboarding is Paul Saviour this is where to freedom free movement and perhaps freeing up from his problems I'm not gonna give up skating I'm never gonna give up skating and I'm never gonna give up try and they'd get myself well and give myself therapy because I feel like you know one day it were too late and I won't be on this earth anymore [Music]

Channel: VICE

Views: 6,825,819

Rating: 4.9263115 out of 5

Keywords: documentary, documentaries, interview, interviews, culture, wild, lifestyle, world, exclusive, independent, underground, videos, funny, funny videos, journalism, vice guide, vice presents, vice news, vbs.tv, vice.com, vice, vice magazine, vice mag, vice videos, bipolar, mental illness, skateboarding, paul alexander, tim crawley

Id: d09soDoUvaw

Length: 17min 53sec (1073 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 25 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/John_Molloy]

Yea, as someone with bipolar type 1, this really hit home. The thinking you're in a movie that's filming itself, or that if you do certain things you'll get a ferrari line of thought; shit is rough. Thats mania for you, or I guess in paul's case, Schizoeffective.

I've been in and out of the psych ward 6 times and can say that while they help, they're definitely traps like Paul was saying. First off, being with a bunch of other loonies doesn't help. Second, you get treated like a second class citizen or a kid, neither of which helps you establish any sort of confidence back into yourself.

I have quite a few friends with schizoeffective disorder and yea, sounds about right. I've had some similar manic episodes like Paul's though and damn, the no sleeping for two weeks thing. Been there and done that, shit blows and you end up making a complete ass out of yourself to your friends and family.

The worst part is the loneliness. Seriously. It's hard to make and hold new friends. Old friends tend to drift away. Its almost impossible to date because not telling them can only last so long and when you do, it doesn't end well usually. Suicide is pretty standard procedure for people like us. I've tried and am glad i've failed, I hope he never has or never will try something like that.

Thoughts and positive vibes Paul's way. Hope life starts to treat him better!