How Mediumship Saves Lives: From Chaos, Fear & Grief to Awakening, "An Unexpected Mystic"

you know you can get addicted to mediumship especially when you're in the deepest grief like I need a reading I need a reading I need a reading because the only time that it feels okay is in a reading you know the only time that that life is is like not painful is in a reading when I'm talking to my person but if you don't know any more then then that that's the thing that is the fix and that that is not the fix that's the foundation hi everybody I'm so excited this is the second interview in my ongoing series of interviewing the beautiful friends who are also my assistants in the awaken way team that supports this work that I do we talk to Miss Bev and we're taking people in the order in which they came to work for me and with me and so today is the lovely Miss Lynette sets corn and I know we're going to dive deep into a lot of personal subjects but that also will help all of you understand better how living the awakened way can change your life because Lynette is walking the talk and if anything gets too personal I don't have to worry about it because she is the executive producer of this show and still edit it out without allowing me to have a say in it so before we go any further bring lyette on the show hi Lynette that's too that's too yes I'm quick with the clip get that out of there Hi Well people know you first and foremost for that laugh you've helped me with the Q&A programs that I do you sit in the front row at many of my workshops when for a long time you were a self-proclaimed number one stalker with our friend Brenda we'll talk about that tell us about that laugh have you always had it I have not I have not and I mean there have been long long periods of my life that uh were deeply troubled and very painful and in particular I remember after U maybe two years after my husband's death I was sitting in a gallery reading and he came through the medium at the time and he said I heard you laugh this week and I thought oh my gosh I did I laughed like we used to just for a minute and he said and when I heard you it zinged straight to my heart and that was just because that was one of our things Mike and I you know our our laughter together was one of our greatest Joys he was hilarious and very subtle so a lot of times he would just be like straight man and I'm you know cracking up like I do so to have lost that during the years of his illness and suffering and then to have come to that again wow that means everything yeah this is one of the key points that we'll be making today because people who only know you for that great laugh and your enthusiasm and your joy helping with the monthly connection webinars and all of these things that we do we'll think you're you've always been this joyous person but there's such a deeper side to you such side I have to tell you as you were talking about Mike the second you mentioned him my lip twitched it took my breath away and he stepped in showing me those cowboy boots so I'm going to give him permission to throw anything in as we go along that's great but let's go back and let people know that your challenging life and it of course it comes and goes for all of us the challenges is started long before your beloved husband passed would you take us back to part the part that really defined the first part of your life and your whole life I'm sure well I was very fortunate in being born into a wonderful family very bright people um you know professionals good citizens and also religious and they took me to a church and so I know what you're asking me about when you say where did it start but I know also that it really started when I got scared and I got scared at about the age of five and that happened in church um because I you know you're going to die because they tell you and you need to be good because then you'll go to heaven and I was objectively like a really good little girl my dad used to sing this song about what a what a good little girl I was but in church I heard you must love God with all of your heart and all of your might and I knew that I didn't I didn't I didn't feel anything I didn't feel anything for God and so I would sit in that Pew on Sundays and think how do I muster up some kind of feeling and and I and I couldn't do it and so what I knew from that was that I was I was going to go to hell I was really young and of course you know I'd been indoctrinated with what that was about what hell would be like the Eternal fires the tortures you know blah blah blah and so I developed a fear that plagued me throughout my life and affected me in so so many ways so may I ask yeah did you ever discuss that with your dad when you were a little girl or with your mom no no because as wonderful as my family was we were not really good about you know talking about feelings I did I mean I would go to my mom if I was afraid and she would comfort me but I couldn't put that into words because because along with that came this really deep sense of unworthiness and and that meant that I was somehow broken or damaged inside I wasn't like other people and that's how I felt my whole life even you know from that young young age is that I didn't I didn't fit in because I saw people who seem to be getting it that is also a lifelong habit of mine to compare my insides to other people's outsides and you know I mean we don't know what's going on with anybody with anyone unless they tell us but to look around and say oh I'm not I don't measure up you know but you know I say these things and as I'm saying them I'm thinking you know the reality is that those all of that has become like the greatest the greatest Gifts of my life because it it was those things those early Terrors the the losses everything that's happened in this lifetime has led me to this and you know well I mean this is just like pretty magical so anyway my mom's my best friend um she started experiencing some depression when I was in the third grade and we were so close and so I took it upon myself to fix her I thought that I had to do that for some reason again sometimes I think we have these templates that are installed because we're gonna like I had the template of being a caretaker that's one of my personality things and so I get this mom who is who starts to struggle when I'm in the third grade or so and and so I'm going to I'm going to caretake well that's not a nine 10 year old's role but it was what I did and so again that led me down the road to a place of just this I'll just I keep saying this when I say this I mean post 2012 meeting Suzanne geesman this the awakened way process and how that's unfolded in my life so um my mom tried to end her life when I was in the fourth grade and my sister and I were there with her at home and she collapsed at the table and somehow my dad came in and that was a big deal but um my helplessness in the face of her despair was just it was really really hard to deal with when I was 12 I woke up one morning and heard my father on the phone and his voice was shaking and he said my wife is gone and I think she took a gun and uh that was like the last beat of my husband's heart I think like there are these pivotal moments in our lives where like life was this and now it's this and hearing my father on the phone that morning knowing that nothing would ever be the same again it was like hearing the last beat of of Mike's heart you know it's like it's things are this way and then they will never be that way again you cannot get it back cannot get it back so you just go forward and um she was never found she's the oldest missing person's case in Oklahoma um we didn't know that she had actually died until my oldest sister uh happened into cadea down in Florida just out on a LK a Sunday drive and they walk around this little village and there's a woman standing on a porch and says come in come in I think I'm supposed to talk to you and and she sits down she says I need to CER myself and then she went oh there's a woman rushing to get to me she's rushing to get to me and and she says I think this is your mom and my mom's here because I can feel her in the Goosebumps on my arms yeah you're not afraid of that now but you yeah my be my beautiful mother H what what a she was an incredible Soul so then we knew she had died sometime in the 90s we thought and I got more information about that later we still don't know what happened to her you know don't we don't know where she ended up and that that not knowing and being in a family where we want to be on the bright surface of things and not really go down you know it was really hard to talk about this ripping out of our hearts and so we really didn't and that led me to some uh dark methods of coping with with that pain and uh I won't go into all that but I got sober at 25 so there's that that'll tell you something anyway um that was the first that was she was my first first experience of unconditional love and then my husband was the next so yeah I feel like I've had book ends you know I had my mom I had Mike and and I had my little dog and your dog Boo yes who has also crossed the veil so you have had your share of very very tragic losses we call them losses at the human level yeah so tell us how it is that you have this infectious laugh now well I did you know I was in 12ep programs from 1980 I finally got it in 1982 um that was the beginning of a really profound change because there was not the god the get you God that I was brought up with but instead a god of your own understanding and and the methodology to find that connection you know to make the connection and I did I did I didn't think it was possible and the other you know the other real gift of of 12 step programs is they tell you just to do it anyway you don't have to feel it just do it and then the feeling comes you know if I didn't believe in anything and just persisted in doing the things that I was told to do and then I had experiences you know little adventures in Consciousness nothing like what would come later but um I did the process I cleaned up the past you know I cleared away the wreckage I did all of those things to see I know we all come into this world with this light inside and I think that it gets covered up by fears it gets covered up by ugly behaviors it's almost like they're a clouding of our shine and you can't avoid them in this human life it's not a judgment you know it's just that's part of this world we if we could come here in our Pure State and never interact with another person then maybe you know we wouldn't get cloudy but the world the world is full of other people and we're out there interacting and things get cloudy so I got to clear all that up you know I got to clear away those things so that I felt more on a level with other people and um and I had this connection with something thing you know when Mike and I got together oh my gosh for probably 12 or 14 years until he was really too ill to get out of bed most days um we we prayed on our knees every morning to the god of our understanding not to the god that we brought up with his was Baptist mine was Missouri Senate Lutheran um but we prayed to that that power that enlivens everything so I knew those things and it's no wonder because you know your spirit guide William James had much to do with with AA and Dr Bob and Bill Wilson the two co-founders of AA were mediums and into spiritualism and believed in in something so much Beyond this world um we were happy I found happiness and peace and Mike and I oh my gosh we just I mean we had such Joy it was like a story book like a storybook life and then another one of those you know pivotable pivotal is like life is never the same after we were uh in Jin Missouri in a hotel room at a conference and um he said I'm really feeling like a pain in my in my belly like uh he had gotten sober when he developed pancreatitis he said it really feels like that and he was terrified of pancreatitis because it was so painful really painful um so we went back to tulso went to the doctors and that just started a long process you know the the wonderful thing is that we had a lot a lot a lot of good years and they were between 99 and when he died in 2012 but um that connection you know it was on our connection was spiritual we we laughed together we loved life we had so many friends you know the night that he got really sick in 2002 there were there were almost a hundred people showed up in a waiting room that night because they knew that Mike was in the hospital and um you know we we had a lovely life we had a beautiful life together so you were pretty traumatized when he passed we we um I'd love we're going to move on to the the the things that helped you heal good stuff the good stuff I want to give people the hope that that things do get better from that but I wanted people to know the depths of the pain that you went through and you're just touching the surface there but you've had some spiritually transformative experiences I'd love if you shared even for those who may have heard already that experience you had when you were riding down the road in your convertible I believe it was right yeah that was I think of that I mean I think of like my guides are like what are we gonna do about her what are we gonna do she's not she's stuck she's stuck and I was stuck he had Mike had a complicated death and it was unnecessary at the time I'm sure he would have died eventually but but Hospital errors some really egregious things happened that led to his death death and um I you know there was there was a Nile to say this and I know we don't want to go into great depths but I was in the ICU with him one night because he'd been overdosed with insulin and they could not get us and it affected his breathing eventually just a Cascade of events and there was a nurse in there there was a doctor who was my stepdaughter's friend who had assured me that should it become necessary to intubate him he would be there and then he wasn't and I'm standing by my husband's bed and I'm watching his oxygen level drop you know 70 60 50 he's down into the 30s and he said I can't hold on and his eyes went dead and there is nobody to help us and we're in the ICU I called the hospital operator myself and I said my husband is dying and I need help she said but you're in the ICU like I know and there's no help so I was just hysterical I heard the nurse call a code I heard a door slam and for two hours I thought he was dead it was it took him I think seven attempts to shock him back to life and uh so that's traumatic for you well it is and and the echo of that comes back goes back to my mom I couldn't help my mom I couldn't save my husband you know I couldn't help him in that moment and yeah so classic recipe for PTSD classic and I had it I my nightmares began that night and continued U until after his death which came just a little over a year later and um and I it was you know I was a social worker I worked with traumatized children I was a sexual abuse specialist with the state of Oklahoma I did abuse investigations of really serious injuries and hospitalizations um child deaths that kind of thing so I wasn't unfamiliar with difficult circumstances or with the results of trauma but it didn't make a difference when it came to dealing with my own um so I'm most days all I could do was cry I could barely sleep um I was in an absolute rage and um really felt like you know it's so weird because I feel like I'm still that little good citizen good person that my parents brought up but I wanted to kill that doctor I mean I literally wanted to kill him I was so angry so angry so a desperation you know I'm driving around town Mike's dead I'm crying it's a beautiful day tops down on her little car and and I'm as always crying reliving it reliving it reliving it and I hear this voice on the radio and it was like something about his tone grabbed me and I started just you know listening and it was this man his name was Hector black and uh he was on The Moth Radio Hour if you're familiar with INR people tell stories and he was telling the story of his beloved daughter that he had adopted while he was an activist in the civil rights movement in the South um who had lived here in Atlanta and had been robbed and then raped and then murdered by a man here in town and his daughter was you know this lovely person a teacher she made wedding dresses as a gift for people and um when he said that that he had come to love the man who hurt her his voice cracked and I had pulled over by this time because I couldn't control my tears and and my just listen I was riveted he was my angel you know our Angels come to us in so many different ways and Hector was was one of my angels but what happened as I was listening to him telling the story of coming to love the man who had murdered his daughter of meeting with him in prison and and hearing his story of his horrific traumatic life and and forgiving him it sounds insane but it's like the top of my head opened it just like a lid on a jar and all this stuff just rose out of me like this swirling dark mistiness that just went up and out and I'm still listening to the story and I'm still crying at this it's just leaving me it's just leaving me and that was it and I think about how how that was orchestrated you know that I'm I'm driving across town at that moment I'm listening to The Moth I didn't make an effort to listen to The Moth it just came on on Saturdays if I was in the car I heard it if I didn't I didn't and I heard that story I heard that man he was my angel and I had that experience and then I was free that was a spontaneous healing of severe PTSD that happened to me in that car and I'm so grateful for that because that once you can again when she can sleep again you know and let and and have peace then you can start to heal because I couldn't even begin to that point and that that was the beginning yeah what year was that that was um March or April of I believe it was 2013 and you know what else happened in 2013 something else happened in 2013 that yes September 23rd of 2013 I first heard name s Suzanne gesman okay um how did you hear about I I want to get to the part where I found out about you but you go you go ahead and say how you found out one year to the date of Mike's death my sister called me and said Suzanne geesman you've got to look her up she's this incredible medium but she was also in the military and youve just got to look her up and watch her video and you can rent it on Vimeo blah blah blah so I did I was like oh my God oh my God what is this you know you afraid of mediums at the time I was more afraid of Psychics but yeah I was pretty petrified I mean I just because still the death thing is with me the fear of dying is with me I mean honestly after Mike died I would have given anything anything to get off this planet but I was so afraid of it I couldn't you know I couldn't which I'm glad now I wasn't glad then so so to you mediumship wasn't oh you're not supposed to talk to spirits it's oh a medium might tell you you're going to die and you were afraid of dying yes you thought you were going to hell yes because my dad started going to psychics after my mom left you know my brilliant chemist father total left brain religious you know he started going to psychics to try to find my mom and and people started telling these old wives tales about how you know we you got to be careful when you go to a psychic if you walk into the psychic's layer they might see something over your face and refuse to read to you and and and then you'll know that you're GNA die and uh that was just you know my my big fear I had all that stuff just lodged in my brain you know the thing about fears I think it's almost like when you rough up your skin then you start attracting all sorts of things to be afraid of you know it's like you attract dirt into an open wound you just it just it becomes this thing like a magnet for more fears and that just builds and snowballs and so yeah I found you September 23rd 2013 watch that video and you just said well that's nice and stop but well no because I mean I wanted to believe I'd read all the books in the 90s you know um Celestine Prophecy embraced by the Light Neil Donna Walsh's books I'd read all those things but underlying everything for me was this debilitating fear of death because it it was debilitating because it kept me from a lot of things like flying for one thing 35 years not getting on an airplane because I'm afraid of dying um and and lots more just it also kept you from having knee surgery which you desperately needed because when we met and I don't want to get there yet because there's a part before that when we met you had two crutches that you permanently used the kind that go that your wrist not under your arm temporary the kind you were a crippled lady I was and you know people think that's so awful but here's how I looked at it because I knew I would not be able to have the surgery because I was so scared I had to do something to be able to extend my range so you know instead of just sitting in a chair I had those little arm sticks and I would just go and do what I wanted to and it helped with the pain and it let me go further because I knew that surgery would not be possible because too scared you afraid you wanted off the planet but you were too afraid to get off the planet I'm so glad you were because we're thrilled to have you here shing with everybody and helping so many people so I came to know of you when somebody sent me an article by a an evangelist that was in the paper that talked about mediums and how it was wrong to consult mediums and I usually don't defend my work but I put something about it on my Facebook page and there was this reply from somebody using an anonymous name that was so eloquent so beautifully stated that's that I responded I replied to that comment and said please contact me and somehow well it was clearly you I don't know how I said to please contact me because I didn't I don't put my phone number on Facebook how did that come about and what was your reaction I remember seeing that and just being like electrified I mean excitement of course because like you're this amazing person but absolute Terror because what would that be about what could you possibly be wanting to contact me about I wanted to say who are you that can express these beautiful thoughts so eloquently like I said I just I just needed to meet you and just say that was one of the most amazing comments in just a comment on Facebook I've ever read I see it now as a setup right that we were supposed oh yeah and what's funny is you and I both remember where we were when we had that initial conversation I was in the car in a parking lot in es Park Colorado what about you I was in a I was at a gas station at 11th in Pittsburgh in Tulsa Oklahoma and I was filling up my grey Honda were were were you really were you afraid I wanted to talk to you because I was going to tell you I'm a psychic and you're going to die well I don't know if you remember that you you picked up the phone and I just started babbling it's like oh my god I've been afraid of Psychics my whole life are you going to tell me I'm going to die you know how I do I get excited and I I start running on but um yeah that was and then and i' said something about um I wish it didn't take so long to have a reading with you and then you you told me on the phone you said well I've looked at my list and I don't see you on it and the funny thing to me is that so that's probably early 2014 maybe and um I said well I read your little thing on your page about because of course I wanted a reading um even though I'm scared I read your little thing and it said if you're not in the deepest most agonizing grief please do not request a reading and you know let's help these other people who just can't get out of it that was back when I was adding to my wedding list right yeah yeah and I thought well I'm fine because I've watched messages of hope I read the daily siia messages I had been had started a practice of reading the back channeled messages of siia which are on your website and as Podcast manager I will put a link to that because those are incredible gifts incredible Gifts of comfort pages and pages of wisdom from siia and so much love so I had been doing all those things and I'm cured right I'm fine I am fine but I didn't really have any tools you know I was meditating but I didn't really know it's like I start I was starting to believe that there was well I knew there was life after death because i' had signs from Mike you know from the beginning but I I I didn't know anything about the bigger picture and what I didn't understand then you know you can get addicted to mediumship especially when you're in the deepest grief like I need a reading I need a reading I need a reading because the only time that it feels okay is in a reading you know the only time that that life is is like not painful is in a reading when I'm talking to my person but if you don't know anym then than that that's the thing that is the fix and that that is not the fix that's the foundation that is the thing on which we can build this incredible life of being awake and knowing the truth and and living in a way that is peaceful and not fearful and just just joyful instead of the way it is when you don't know and I would just like to invite everybody to to get this video and Rewind right there and listen to that point over and over again about how mediumship helps but it also it's not the be all and end all it leads to what we're leading into here about how it changes your life the bigger picture so we first met in person when you have all these dates memorized which kind of blows my mind you know big things happen yeah so we had the conversation sometime in maybe March or April and um you so funny because she said but when you come down to Florida because I was goingon to see my sister we'll get together for coffee and I thought we will not and then but you said and you're you know you have that Commander thing going on so you said you call me when you get to or email me or whatever you said you let me know when you get here so I have some obedience um and I was at my sister's house I thought God it's I've been there like one day two days three days I thought oh my god I've got to call Suzanne and um I said okay I'm here she and you said oh I'm so I'm just can't work in I can't work in coffee but I'll see you at the channeling on Sunday and I have never been so relieved in my life the idea of going to coffee with you oh my God oh my God I told my sister and brother-in-law I said you cannot leave me alone with that woman you must come with us I cannot go see her on my own why I don't know I don't know because you know probably the same reason that I used I would sit in in court and testify and all this you know this wisdom would pour out and this you know good stuff or we just won almost every case that I ever testified in and I was and I was up in the corner of the courtroom watching what you that person down there talking out of my mouth is what you're yeah it's like you know who no who is that so anyway um we went I saw you at the channeling and the funny thing because I was so convinced of my own healing this is 2014 um you came up and you hugged me and went like so much pain and it was just under your breath and it wasn't mean but you felt what I still had not gotten to you know I I I'd had readings um I was getting better I was believing the stuff I'd had like short readings in in a gallery in Tulsa I was believing there was more than this but I hadn't had an Awakening and so un usual for me to have uttered that out loud when I felt and to just feel what was under the surface even though you were smiling on the outside I just o it was it was it was empathy it was compassion so much pain and I didn't know at the time what to tell you I didn't know that it had an effect on you it it wasn't it didn't hurt me it didn't hurt me it was just it was actually like a it was kind of gift because it made me aware that you know as much as I was whistling in the dark pretending like everything was okay because I knew Mike wasn't dead or my dad wasn't dead my you know I mean I counted up the other day it was like 15 or 16 people that I love have died since the turn of the century which I guess is quite a long time ago but it's been a lot you know my dearest friends my beloved husband my father just it goes on and on and there's like surface of of pretense that can come with I'm better I'm better but I'm really not better until for me I had to dive deep into it and stop blocking you know when when you block pain you also block joy and you you can't live only in on the bright side that's not even what we're here for you know we're here for the complexity for the richness of the experience like chocolate is wonderful but it's so much better with a little salt on it you know people add salt to watermelon you know salt and sweet you get that contrast we want that's what gives this life Dimension and meaning to me is the contrast between the good and the bad and that's even a judgment and I really really have have been striving the last few years just to eliminate judgment from my vocabulary even from from life you know to not look at and assess but just to see and experience things the way that they are including my own state of being whether that's on any given day you know happy joyous and free or maybe I'm a little Melancholy you know things happen in this life and what I've learned as a result of go going Beyond a mediumship reading is that peace can be had in all situations even I can be crying and still feel peace and joy on the inside I can be sad and still know that all is well and the tools that I have you know as a result of being on this path now intensely um since 2013 the tools are just like life saving life saving sanity saving uh Serenity well I think the biggest one that I have now because because of the level of awareness that I've achieved is that at any moment I can step out and I and I'm and I am the Observer I am the one experiencing Lynette and it's that's the you know with the the book that's just out the awaken way the subtitle is making the shift to a divinely guided life so when you're talking about stepping out that's shifting to The Observer right and to me I you know I laugh and I say it feels like um you know dipping into a phone booth like Clark can't Ed to turn into Superman you know you know um just to get that distance and and I don't mean like oh step back from it but it's actually to dissolve into who I Who I Am who we all are and to recognize that these are experiences experiences that I signed on for um that I most likely chose to come into this life with these attributes in this package with all of the challenges that have occurred um my one of my first mediumship readings with with Sandy soul sister who's our friend and uh she brought my mom through in a beautiful way you know I was like sy's third practice reading ever in her mediumship training and my mom said even in the hard times my soul was rejoicing and that has become a mantra for me because my mother's hard times were horrific she's why I became a sexual abuse specialist um it was horrible and um that gave me a mantra to to see there can be it can be this and that I can be having horrific times and I am still okay you know I've really in the last couple of years been focusing on living in the and space you know it's this and it's that I'm a healthy now 67 year old woman and I have some weird thing with my wrist that causes pain you know I mean there's this and that and it's all to not judge it because to judge it puts up barriers and causes me more pain ultimately than then to accept and say Here's what is and let this how can I flow with this how can I flow with this new reality how can I flow with this new experience and to find just to find ways to to be at peace I feel like I don't want to avoid the feeling I want to avoid the suffering and the suffering is what comes when I resist there's a quote you can pull out right there I don't want to I'm writing that down I don't want to avoid the feeling I want to avoid the suffering yeah and I went 12 when my mom left and I you know first I dove into chocolate chip cookies all by myself at night you know eating just a bowl full of chocolate chip cookies and then I dove into pills and I dove into alcohol and and all of it was pushing away pushing away pushing away trying not to feel what ultimately you have to feel you have to feel there is no way out except to go through you know I mean we have to go through it and pretending like we can tunnel around or you know find a a just you we can find distractions of course there are distractions you know um so so what do you tell people when it feels horrible you're I mean so there's what's the difference between I don't want to feel this but I'm feeling it versus suffering where's that line and what do you do when you don't want to feel it anymore well what I mean what I do are are Comfort measures and for me Comfort is to sit and breathe into that heart space and to be quiet and then physical Comfort measures a hot bath a hot shower something hot to drink unless it's a really viciously hot day and then you know something cool to drink and to cuddle up and I have this wonderful friend you gave me this gorgeous uh blanket from New Zealand thank you Suzanne because it's so comforting yes it's comforting and and this is a world where we need Comforts we need comforts you know maybe it's lighting a CLE and listening to some music there's some beautiful beautiful tunes that have become like you know the soundtrack of My Life um what is the name of the one that you used to play before the channelings the OM Kumari Mantra Kumar Mantra Mantra there's another one um by ji Jagdish that I listened to when Buu was dying on my lap and it talks about you know it just says beloved child beloved child may I share with you Lynette that um your wisdom you know we we share all the time you and I have talks about things like this and the other night I was uh deeply grieving with a friend of mine and it affected me greatly and I came home and I said to Ty I just need to veg with a movie and I just don't usually take the time for movies and TV and I watched that movie and then I ended up eating popcorn and then ice cream as I'm watching it and it felt so good but I realized the next day that was escapism and that was SED and what you just shared there is exactly the kind of thing I was thinking the next day I took it into meditation I said to the guides what do you do instead and what you shared there was such wisdom there of ways to not sedate and to feel it again everybody rewind right there those Comfort measures that aren't ultimately harmful and Escapist well and I'm I'm not going to judge those times when I do Escape into something that you know maybe isn't in my best interest but at the moment it seems to help me because the the Judgment hurts me more than than the thing and I'm not talking about self-destructive stuff like I used to do you know my escapism between the ages of 12 and probably 28 or 29 were wildly self-destructive and hurtful to my to my not to my soul because my soul is always fine but very hurtful to me but um yeah you know when I I sponsored a lot of women in AA for a lot of years and and in AA they say when when all else fails in your life when all else fails work with someone else who is still suffering which is why people in 12ep programs reach out to others so I can be in a complete total chaotic horrible case in fact I I think one night when I was at the the regular meeting place and a phone call came in from Central service which is a place that with people who needed help and call and I was really just done I was like I'm just this is stupid I'm not going to do this it's too hard I don't like life with about vodka I don't like it um but this somebody needed help and I grabbed another woman and we went out to her house and I sat with her from it was about 7 o'clock in the evening until 3 the next morning and we talked and we talked and we talked and what I was telling her because she wanted to die she thought she couldn't quit drinking what I was telling her was how There's Hope and there's joy and in the process of sharing that with her I came to believe it again too so it healed Me by helping someone else and and we do that with each other like in your community on Facebook which is where I met most of my dear friends right now people support and love one another in in the monthly um in our weekly radio whatever it is what is it Suzanne it's a podcast this is a podcast Lynette you produce this is a podcast but on YouTube the comments from people you know as the premieres are rolling there's just so much love and reaching out and someone will say I just can't go on and five other people will chime in and say how can I help you know let me help you and it's that it's extending a hand somehow that fixes me it's not thinking about me for a minute which gives me time to reregulate and sort of you know come back to Center because I'm not obsessing about how bad I feel I look at somebody else how can I help them and then the other thing that I would tell him is like you know we're not going to solve this problem today go take a long hot bath I a proponent of hot water I want to tell you I need to tell you that repeatedly throughout this time that we've been talking your mic keeps telling me you lyette hear his heartbeat like you've literally heard it why is he saying that well you know it's so funny to me that people people that you absolutely cannot imagine losing you can come to wish that they could be that they could go it was that way with my father it was that way with Mike and the morning that I knew that he was going there was no coming back from where he was I had been praying for his release because I could not imagine my amazing vibrant funny Lively husband living the kind of debilitated life that he would have had he lived through that last episode and I was lying on the bed with my head with my ear pressed to his chest and I was hearing his heartbeat and I mean over the years you know when you snuggle up in bed and you just listen just listen that that was such a comfort because Mike was he was so steady and calm and I'm you know like this little hot toad so he was that influence for me always the the stable thing the force that I counted on you know you once told Brenda and me or it Brenda and I you said I've got your back girls Mike once said to me and I've never forgotten it in 1992 he said honey I have your back always I just nobody had ever said that to me in that way so he was that and then i' listen to his heart and it was slowing and it was slowing and it got so slow that I would think my God was that it was that it was that it the last beat and then that last beat came and the silence the silence I still can't put it into words I've written blog posts about it trying to describe that thing of where one life ends and another life begins and I I still can't communicate the profound nature of hearing it of hearing it and so that his heartbeat to me is like it's like the rhythm of my life even now even now and there are times when I'm in meditation I think I feel it I don't hear it you know audibly like I feel it I feel it in my heart now I know why he wanted me to say it yeah because I was just I was I've been experiencing his heartbeat throughout your show and he's saying talk about it talk about it he also just drew my attention when you just started talking to a bracelet it I mean it was the left hand but you must have some bracelet that's significant with him oh I have a bracelet of his yeah that all these years I've known you and I don't know that but he's yeah he had a it's beautiful we bought it at the Grand Canyon where we had a wonderful time and uh it's turquoise and coral inline silver and it's just it's a beautiful so he's right here and he dropped in took my breath away the second we started and you know that yeah you know it Beyond any doubt tell people how that's changed your life well you know sometimes I I talk to other widows who are like every day they get up and have coffee with their husbands and and they make that effort to communicate but I don't know if it's just in spirit yeah yeah yeah with their dead husbands I know a bunch of widows who still have relationships with dead man um and I don't do that anymore I started doing it um but I don't do that anymore but what I what I know is that he is always here always here and he's he's a part of me which of course makes sense and the big Oneness thing you know of course he is of course um but I feel him I feel him with me when I do hard things I feel him with me when I'm you know like reading something and and getting something out of it I just I feel like him he leads me to things he sends me signs I mean we just with Cheryl page and some of her friends we had a little widows meeting last Sunday and and I don't and I was listening to them and thinking gosh I really should do more but Mike is really okay with what I'm doing now Mike Mike likes this you know he doesn't want me to well I'm not going to say that because because those relationships are are lovely when people want to continue them for 10 or 12 years it's been 12 years for me and it's there's never ever in this world going to be anybody like Mike and I'm good with that but uh but knowing he's with me every day is like he was my best friend he was my soulmate when I had a reading with you you said oh I don't even talk about this I don't this doesn't come up but he's showing me twin flames twin flames and I you know I don't know what I think about that but I know that there was something incredibly incredibly special about what we had so I I go into meditation sometimes once he asked me he said I want you I want you to experience me as I am now not in the way that you remember me and so I sat in a meditation I said okay show me like bring it oh Susanne it was just I mean I I dissolved he was present in that dissolved state of pink light and I was aware of Mike I was aware of me but then I was aware I the real eye the big eye yeah and so i' read Billy fingers not long before that and one of the reasons why people throw the afterlife at Billy fingers across the room is because Billy talks about dissolving into the Oneness and we don't like to think about that you know we don't want to lose our sense of self we certainly don't want to lose our loved ones but what Mike showed me in that was that there's never any loss it's all always here and it's held in this immensity this boundless immensity of just pure love and it was incredible so I felt him that way I've felt him physically as Mike my husband he's hugged me he's he tapped me on the chest once in meditation so so physically that I raised up my little sleep mask to see who had come into my house as I was meditating um he's but after the thing with Cheryl I I was oh see this is how my mind runs away with me um I went out the next hour she's the hour after that little get together I got like this Cascade of signs and wonders and you know music starting to play on my phones like he was he was showing me I think that yeah we can do that we can do that but we're good the way we are you know we're good the way we are and and I love it I love it he drew a rainbow just then as you were talking about I know that meaning to um yeah you you talk about the difference and you knew certain things before he passed but then after and after getting into living the awakened way and and there's this big difference for you and what I take from what you're saying is the difference is you've now had the personal experience of making that shift to what because you have to you have to you can talk about this but you just gave us several examples of being in meditation and experiencing this expanded State what do you what is that to you it isn't that I live this way all the time and I don't even believe that we're supposed to I mean I don't want to not that there's any chance of it but I don't want to get so holy that you know I'm just skipping down the Primrose path and about to ascend um because I had that before I came here as Lynette I already had that we'll go back to it every one of us without fail but what I I used to feel like I was you know lenette experiencing everything in the world and it's just coming at me pelted like and not always lots of good things too butterflies come by flowers bloom you know life can be beautiful and awful at the same time and I read Jim Carrey a quote that he's he had he said I used to experience the universe from the Viewpoint of Jim Carrey he said and now I recognize that I am the universe experiencing Jim Carrey and that's how I feel it's like the roles have been reversed like even there's nothing I can do now to forget what I know I know that I am the universe experiencing Lynette expressing as Lynette and and rejoicing in cherishing and loving this experience of Lynette with all of the flaws with all of the I mean we call them flaws I don't even I don't even want to call them that anymore um just the contrasts all of the contrasts you know it's the yin and the Yang of existence and it's living in the and space and you know some of us are more prone maybe to a a Melancholy look at life and some of us are more prone to the sunny path but we're all going to get some of it all the time always it just it's unavoidable I remembered that we recently went to Sedona I was speaking conference and you came along and uh we were sharing our beautiful friend Connie's house thanks to her and I got up in the morning and there you were and oh your energy felt so different to me you were in a funk because of some animals that had been some Havas that had been herded away since the last time we were there and and you were grieving for them and I I saw you and you were so sad and I wanted to comfort you and say it's okay you know how their souls are and instead I just let you sit in your grief for a while and I thought it was so beautiful that you felt so deeply for them and you allowed yourself to feel that well I connected with them because I the other time that we were at Connie a year or so before I had been out on the path in complete darkness right before the moon was rising up over the mountains and it was the the golf course that is down the way from Connie and I had found myself in a herd of little Havas and just hearing their little Hooves on the the in on the pavement and in the grass and you know their breath and just being surrounded then the moon came up over the mountains and it was just magical it was a gift so I had hoped to go back out there encounter them you know have another encounter with the little the little pigs but um you know they done damage to the golf course and so they had been done away with but I don't know if you remember you found me in that St and I was doing a meditation and what should appear but like an opening and all those little pig faces those sweet little and they were just looking at me I know that sounds it sounds ridiculous but also anything can be created from the artistic medium of this universe and if it's you a bunch of little pigs looking at me to give me Comfort it's possible you know I think they might have materialized that night just for the just for the joy that it brought me um I love that and then again they came to me that weekend you know again we were doing something and some sort of a guided thing and there they are again this little herd um I think they're Bound by I love them I fell in love with them that night I think think everything that we love is forever Tethered to us in some way and that's really really a joy to know you know I I experienced that in a reading with Sandy once where she brought through all of the little the children who had died and the ones that I knew before they died and and you know one baby in particular that IID held as she died and two young men who had been murdered and um they all came through and that was their message that your work as a social worker yes yes but that was their message is that where there is love there is an eternal connection and that that did it had meaning and um I was reading something about um who's that guy you're always quoting that wrote he was a concentration camp Survivor search for me yes yeah and I was reading about how you know we can have experiences and think that we're under a salt and life is not fair and life is awful or we can have experiences and find some kind of peace with them or we can have experiences and find some sort of meaning in them and and those are the ones that that enrich our lives to the greatest degree and those are the ones that bring us freedom and peace and allow us maybe to help others you know with with the bad things or the the things we we don't want as humans even though our souls are like woohoo you know our crazy souls are like bring it you know bring it on um it's finding the meaning in those things finding the meaning in the losses finding the meaning in you know the the experiences that are painful finding the meaning in the joyful times how how do we turn that to love how do we turn that to the what's good and and healing and and brings more more love to the world that's it I don't do that well you have mentioned uh you know spontaneous spiritually transformative experience that that healed you of this PTSD but you've also several times mentioned having beautiful adventures in Consciousness and healing and amazing experiences in meditation and you and I both know the value of sitting quietly in the silence regularly what is your practice of meditation well my morning practice is um my guys have tried to redirect me from making coffee first but I just I just don't I mean at one point it's so funny I actually spilled my coffee over my journal which I always keep handy and that morning the siia message said something about it and showed coffee spilled on a written page in a notebook it's like but I have free will I can be disobedient if I want to nobody's the boss of me I'm really working on not interrupting today but I have to say right here that Lynette has she she's loves dogs takes care of dogs so beautifully and we entrusted you with taking care of our dogs one Tai and I went to Argentina recently and everybody she thoroughly ruined my dogs because we have our routine and we get up in the morning and we get going but miss Lynette would get up with the dogs let them out make her coffee and then they all went back to bed while she meditated and the dogs are like yes going back to snuggle so you get up get coffee and you go back and meditate and and I I come to my chair which is what I'm sitting in now and I light a candle I put I might put on some music or I might not and I have you know some sort of reading that is uplifting I've been reaching reading Rachel remon's books lately and are so beautiful um and then meditation and I write um I ask what love wants me to know today and ask you know to be guided and um then I feel like I'm ready to go about my day and then there are other you know other times just for the fun of it I'll sit and do like a really deep Long meditation you know because I'm I'm generally 10 to 15 minutes um but just to maybe go have an adventure you know to have an adventure in Consciousness maybe I'll get to travel someplace and um or or do things like I have Rewritten past experiences as a result of meditations that that I had my you know I saw because of my mother's history of Abuse and Mental Illness and disappearance all of that I I had this vision of her as someone to be pied and I was shown in a a meditation that she was she was not that and she wanted me to come to know her as she was then also as she is now and I sat with her every morning and I I heard about her life not just the hard stuff but the wonderful things because she was amazing you know vious outgoing everybody loved her that yeah in meditation and meditation just just feeling her writing what she wanted me to know and and it gave me something that I had always been sad about missing you know young women they talk about their moms becoming their best friends but I lost her at 12 so um to to develop that relationship with her now to see her as whole you know yes these things and again it's that and space yes the abused child you know 4 to 18 vicious violent abuse the college girl the you know the one who became depressed when the abuse came out you know just the attempted suicide The Disappearance and also this magical lovely brilliant loving woman who had all these interests and friends and and and to know all of that the whole of it it balanced it out it was just it was beautiful beautiful took a month and a half I think that I sat with her in the mornings and uh whole new experience now I don't even think of her as you know oh poor mom you know and that was how he always said oh poor mom you know poor mom and not poor mom yes things happened she says even in the hard times my soul was rejoicing she says it's just a silly little human life she said that too I don't say that one very often because that's not something people in pain want to hear but it is and the overall scheme of things it's a life it's Rich it's experience we enjoy it we don't enjoy parts of it but when we come out of this we always come to Bliss we always come to safety we always return to Absolute love and wow that gives such Freedom you know we can do whatever we want to because we know that in the end all is well and I mean that not in the trivial sense of saying all is well but I mean wow wow you and I remind each other of that when the other person is going through human stuff and that's why we all have friends and and confidants just to say right now my life is Scrappy and then the other person reminds you all is well at the deeper level you mentioned earlier writing something in your blog and i' I'd like to start wrapping this up by letting people know about your blog the name of it is and anex Ed mystic.ct soul level it is because you were meant to write and you do so so beautifully it's what Drew you to me your beautiful writing so um I am requesting executive producer that you put the link to that blog in the description so more people can find because these beautiful wisdom that she shared with all of us today my friends is is come it comes through so amazingly in her blog it'll touch your heart and soul and you'll get more and more of a dose of this beautiful wise hard earned energy yeah you can see the gifts in your pain just today yet who would want to go through that and yet look what it's LED you to well and I think part of the the way that I experienced you know painful things in my life was through this lens of what is wrong with me how am I broken why am I not why why me you know why did this happen what did I do wrong and I just recently had an experience with this you know this wrist thing that just came up out of the blue and and in the way of metaphysical people I'm like okay you know what have I done what have I what energetic thing has gotten a hold of me how can I as my friend Raven says I have wire brushed myself to the Bone and I've not gotten to the bottom of why I have pulmonary hypertension well I had wire brushed myself to the Bone trying to figure out what was wrong with his wrist and it's pretty much undiagnosable don't know what it is um and I had a I sat with Christine Lang and she said she said well you know there's no time and there's no space like yeah she said so all of our lifetimes are concurrent I'm like yeah she said well you had an overlap of of one life into this one and in the other life you are like a professional level jouster it wasn't jousting it was something similar and you have so badly damaged that risk but you won't quit you won't quit you're wrist is agonizing and you will not quit doing what you do because that's who you are and it just overlapped into this life and I just I mean that was an ansd for me like if I didn't cause it oh my gosh then it's just a thing and I really want to look at all of life that way life is just a thing if we could stop judging and and give ourselves a break with this Relentless you know comparison and competition and you know I I'm not good enough I'm better than all that stuff then we could just keep in that flow and stay in that peaceful State and we might cry one day we might laugh another but but we wouldn't be tortured I think is the thing so I tortured myself about the wrist it wasn't even mine I mean yeah it's mine another life I'm badass jouster but anyway I just think there's so much that we don't know uh the the ways that we punish ourselves and and question ourselves in this lifetime when we don't even know the full story it's just kind of pointless so let's don't let's don't do it more wisdom I want to tell you that our dear friend Brenda has been here the whole time and she very clearly said to me I don't want to talk today it's her turn and I don't want to talk about me today I was on the podcast already so we will acknowledge lovely Brenda she's played such a role in our coming together but she's right this is your turn we'll be talking about her more in the future we always will but I would love if you would tie a bow around this beautiful program by just telling everybody what does it mean to you to live the awakened way what is that what is that it's it's just freedom I mean it is it's Freedom it's not feeling beset by life and life circumstances but knowing that yes it's everything is happening on this human level it is but this is not all there is and to act it's one thing to say that you know I used to read about things like this long ago and I didn't understand them it's one thing to say it but it's an entirely different thing to really understand it and then directly experience that knowing that freedom because it changes everything and that is to me that's like it's like a river now underlying everything that I do all of my awareness is all of my human perceptions and awarenesses are influenced by the fact that I know I know I remember once you and I were talking and we were trying to you know we're always coming up with analogies to try to to put this wordless formless knowing into some kind of words and and we reached a point where we both just quit talking because if you go far enough trying to describe it there aren't words there aren't words there aren't well you have put it into beautiful words today it looks like you just had some words I don't want to cut you off there well I as I was saying that I thought oh God I know people are gonna hear that and think well I just can't get there I can't get there yep everyone can get there start start by admitting that it's true say it's true whether you believe it or not continue to say it's true read near-death studies read Suzanne Gman books watch videos read the siah transcripts and I'll put all these things in the links below just keep doing the deal and and treat it like is it William James with his one white crow yeah if one single person in this world knows that this is true then it's true for everyone we aren't separate we aren't distinct from one another one person doesn't get the good experience While others are cast out it's not the Lutheran it's something entirely different and and just keep doing it but do it from a place of expectant gratitude and knowing you know just I I expect things to be shown to me I expect to know and if not in this lifetime it's going to be okay because I have my white crow over here there's a lot of white crows out there listen to those white crows and Trust because you know at the ultimate level there's only one of us here so you know white crow one having an experience is the same as you having that experience maybe not consciously in this lifetime but I just say keep going but keep going with a sense of peace and hope and gratitude and and don't quit don't stop well Lynette I can't thank you enough for coming on here what you remind me of is uh when we're together sometimes even just if it's in the morning and you're getting up to get your coffee and go back to meditate we'll share that good morning hug or the goodbye hug when you you leave after watching the dog or whatever and and we hold it for a long time it's one of those comfortable hugs it's one of those hugs that doesn't get to the point where oh this is uncomfortable and you want to pull away we just we feel that connection and it's so rare to have that and I feel like today you have given everybody one of those hugs I hope so if is she awesome everybody so again rewind replay write down the quotes pull them out make them into memes uh this is hard earned wisdom but it's coming from a beautiful soul thank you Lynette thank you everybody see you back here next time all around close as a [Music]

Channel: Suzanne Giesemann - Messages of Hope

Views: 19,465

Keywords: Suzanne Giesemann, lynette setzkorn, an unexpected mystic, life after trauma, IFS, spiritually transformative experience, STE, near death experience, NDE, psychic medium, psychic, mediumship, missouri synod lutheran, religious trauma, overcoming religious trauma, death of a loved one, healing from grief, regulating emotion, mediumship addiction, the awakened way, spirituality, 12 steps, alcoholics anonymous, bill wilson, dr. bob, william james, mental illness

Id: EN_V2vkvc_A

Length: 69min 0sec (4140 seconds)

Published: Sun May 12 2024