How I Survived My 20s | Relationships, Money, Career

rapid fire reasons why your 20s are so important and suck all at the same time in your 20s you can choose a career path that you spent tons of money going to college to get and then it pays nothing and you're still having to pay that student loan and with those student loans you try to get a credit card to help pay them off but then your credit sucks and nobody tells you how to fix it in your 20s you are very fertile have the baby with the wrong person you have to see that person for the rest of your life oh in your 20s if you marry the wrong person there's always divorce there you go so you'll be fine in your 20s you make a lot of money but no one tells you that you have to pay taxes so you spent the money on shoes that was it waxing your eyebrows cause it's a trend and then they never grow back tattoos in your 20s oh currently been laser removed and there's still hands in it straightened my hair bleached my hair lost my cheetah girl my cheetah curls oh that's okay not cheap i'm on my cheetah a moment for the cheetah moment for the cheat girls [Music] what's up you guys okay i know i've said it so many times how much i've loved my 30s but just keeping it real my 20s were rough so mariah is here with me how old are you 25. she's right in the thick of it people so prepare for survival this is how to survive your 20s [Music] you made it halfway girl i'm halfway through halfway through your 20s no one talks about this comment below if you are in your 20s or you've gone through your 20s and you're like wow that for me was hands down the hardest time in my life so mariah's gotten through half of it you're doing pretty awesome thank you you're doing amazing thank you so much but i just need a little help okay what do you feel is like the hardest part about being in your 20s i think the hardest part about your 20s is that you start off you know you're out of high school you're young you're you know you're 18 and then you're turning and then 20 is like oh you're an adult yeah and everyone tells you know your 20s are wild and fun and enjoy them yeah but like the duality of that is you're also growing up and learning about everything your first home your tac like you're doing everything on your own exactly so you're like trying to have fun and be free and enjoy and then at the same time you're like responsibility responsibility exactly and it's like no one really prepares you your 20s are really hard because they're really important they kind of lay the groundwork for what your 30s are going to be like which seems really obvious but the beginning of your life the beginning of your adult life like who are you going to be what are you going to do that's when you decide what your career path is going to be where are you going to live yes now you finally get to have fun and you get to do whatever you want to do i loved my 20s for the freedom i hated my 20s because i had to make really hard decisions yeah i think you have to make the hardest decisions in your 20s like when you're 13 14 it's like oh it's okay they don't know like when you're in your 20s and people are looking to you like well how do you feel about this yeah you're like i have to learn to be honest i have to learn how to like stand by what i think yeah what i feel look up for yourself find your voice yes like these are things that you're thinking about and it sounds really trivial but i'm in the thick of it you know like in the middle of it yeah i think it's really good to sit down with someone like you who you've been through a lot your 20s were very interesting and these are the things that we need to know in our 20s we need to know how do you learn to find your voice how do you learn to cut off toxic relationships how do you learn which relationships are healthy and which or not you may not even know literally you don't know you don't know you don't even know how to say no and i think that was probably my biggest problem in my 20s was learning how to be like i don't like the way i feel and now i have to take action so that i don't feel the way i feel that was toxic relationships toxic friendships peer pressure that i wanted to be successful but at the same time i had standards and morals so like that was really difficult especially in like the entertainment industry it was really hard to be like i would like to be hungry not thirsty that's a word for like and that to me was where i found balance in that kind of place honestly my hardest part of my 20s was guys the heartache that i experienced learning to be myself in my 20s and not become who i was dating was oh that was a that was all that was a whole other thing if i liked certain things i would have to do the things that i genuinely liked by myself i either was embarrassed to show them the things i actually enjoyed whether it was like tv shows or the music i actually enjoyed ron cannoli so instead i just was listening to ratchet music but on the inside when i was alone i'm like lift him up yeah you talk about yeah be hungry not thirsty when did you figure that out though like when did you figure out um i'm being thirsty i need to be hungry i need to be motivated when i first was living in and i think the cheetah girls had already come out and now i'm in my 20s there was like the hollywood it girls that like you want to hang out with and i swear i literally was telling mariah this i'm like they didn't want to be my friends i go to bed really early i am not a rock star like i'm just not on that level i've never been one to do drugs i've never been into drugs it's just not it's just i'm not even a big drinker like it's just never been my thing me and mariah go to bed at 9pm okay i was about to say i couldn't relate you i couldn't relate more so imagine like that's the scene and like if you want to be cool and you want to hang out with those people where do you meet them you're going to meet them at club shout out to club le du which we all were at in that time it was a whole crew of people it was when like the hollywood it girls was all the rage i would find myself at these clubs in these circles and one day i just was like why do i want to be friends with these people so badly at the time i joked and said i'm just not cool enough and i actually recognized that because i wasn't cool enough to hang at the clubs and do the drugs and things that's why i have a career today that made you even cooler long term that's where knowing who you are plays a huge part it's like how far am i willing to go for this what am i what what am i just not gonna do yeah i'm not gonna do drugs to be cool and hang out with somebody yeah like that's on a on an industry and success level and just recognizing that i had to put the work in to have the career that i wanted to have i know it's a corny quote but it's a very real quote where it's like do something today that your future self will say thank you for something to that effect like for you i will say this mariah is hands down the most self-disciplined person i've ever met in my life and i always say that that's something i also think just naturally we're innate in recognizing strengths in other people that are our own weaknesses right i will credit myself to this i've never been that girl that looks at somebody and i'm like oh she has something that i want and instead i'm like ugh yeah i'm just i'm literally like she has something i want i want to befriend her yeah you're like that too i was actually gonna ask you about this that really reminds me a lot of like comparison like i feel like in your 20s you're kind of out there alone figuring it out and then you have other friends in your 20s and whether it's someone that's in let's say an amazing relationship and you're single or you see someone with an incredible career and you're like oh i don't really know what i'm doing you know i think all of my friends and i have different strengths and i could see where you can look at other people your same age and be like not really recognize what you have going for yourself because you're like okay they're all these areas that i feel like by 30 i'm supposed to have something together and then at 30 and thriving and then i settle down and then i have kids like there definitely is this order to things that i feel like we think we have to do exactly and there's this pressure to okay i have five more years to my career is on point yeah my finances are on point how much money do i have saved what is my do you know what i'm saying people there is no timeline there is no blueprint yeah literally when i was in my early 20s i was like oh my gosh i'm dating somebody we went through a huge breakup then i got in a relationship soon after and there was something inside of me that made me feel like because my previous relationship had failed this one had to work and now looking back i'm like you were a baby like and i know you guys hate hearing that when you're in youtube like oh my god i didn't get married until i was 33 years old and for some people that's like older like for me that was older like i genuinely in my mind had thought okay i'm starting to date this person at 25 by 20 six i'll be engaged 27 engaged married by 28 i'll have my first baby bite third like i had this whole thing mapped out it doesn't go the way we plan it girl it's not gonna but it's it's so hard it's not gonna go the way you plan it tell me that i'm right what they tell you have a plan plan out your life yeah how do you plan out your life but still leave room for god's plans and the unexpected yeah do you know what i'm saying prepare to pivot and i gotta say my pivot game is strong it is we buy a house in calabasas things get strange with the hoa we like um pivot we're going to new york in new york about to renovate my home the real calls we're back in studio pivot wow you have to learn how to pivot like if that's one thing you could learn in your 20s it is how to pivot and that's pivoting in situations that are maybe not what you expected or what you wanted but finding joy in like the journey of it all you're so good at that like i i joke about this all the time but like disappointment yeah you'll you're realistic like you'll feel a disappointment for like maybe 24 hours and then she has a plan like i this is something that i really learned from you i tend to over analyze overthink and kind of stress i i you know i'm like i'm so worried i am a warrior that's like that's okay and i know that there's other people like me 100 out there yeah but it's important for me to surround myself with people like you like dad who are you're really really good at pivoting and and you're really good at when you find a disappointment and a disappointment comes into your life you literally look at it face it feel it and you move on and you have an even better more exciting plan have you always been like that have you did you learn how to do like where did that come from how do you learn how to be like okay yes i'm disappointed yes this is reality but i can i can move forward a lot of disappointments so it's just experience i think experience i really i'm not going to say that in when i was 22 and i had a huge disappointment in my life that i was like 24 hours later i'm back at it i genuinely think that it's the bounce it's the bounce bounce back okay speaking of bouncing back i literally have you taught me a lesson i never told you this this is when we were like okay let's let's we decided we want to be in calabasas we loved the area and made sense so my friend here is a professional house hunter online oh baby we could be in the middle of nowhere kentucky she's like look at this cute little bungalow i found and i'm like for what she's like there's a coffee shop right here whole food's five miles away we could live here we can do that a pivot okay we got a pivot in kentucky we got a spot right we're like okay calabasas that's it we would look at one house fall in love plan our lives like this is mariah's room this is my this is the furniture literally and then we'd get excited for three days and then it would be like hello somebody made a cash someone bought the house in cash today sorry bye and we would just be like okay the first time we're like oh that happens second house even better tom petty's house better oh my gosh yes they said tom petty's house in encino and it's got a studio built in it and we walked through and i'm like we were just free falling [Laughter] selena gomez lives in fun fact no way i swear she bought it she stole her dream i swear she selena have fun in there we were like oh my gosh that's so rock and roll that's so fire yeah they call they're like sorry selena gomez okay never mind the next house even better than that house we love this one we love the area something about it there's a lemon tree in the backyard we wanted 11 training we're so excited hype focused something happens it falls through and i remember each time we were like maybe we're just not suppo like what are we supposed to do like we're made at that house anyway do you remember but you know what i mean like that kept happening but what was so cool about god and just the whole situation every next house was even better it was better we almost gave up we were like i was like forget it literally imagine we have an offer on the table the offer was accepted gosh in the middle of their vacation they called me and they're like we're actually getting divorced and so we can't sell the house because they're gonna fight over the house and we were like okay like deletes all furniture like literally i had eric come to the house we mapped out what the renovations were going to be but stacks then all of a sudden this house shows up you move in and he's like i'm in my 20s i need help so and then this house came up we've never seen it before it never came up it wasn't even on zillow and it was quick it happened fast and that ended up being your house and bible i have the best some of my best memories in that house yeah never stop believing manifesting praying for the like the next thing will always be greater and the thing after that is going to be greater and i think for me like you know every birthday i have like a mini like panic session i'm like oh my god i'm 25 getting older i'm like am i doing good and i have to call and ask you sometimes i called you on face i'm like can you just reassure me that i'm doing well and yeah it worked for where i'm at in my life and honestly what's gotten me to 25 so far is like a string of pep talks that i bring together you need to surround yourself with people who are going to encourage you uplift you and empower you and remind you that your story is just getting started i promise you even though it feels like oh my gosh i'm far behind i always tell mariah this in our pep talks it's one of my favorite things to remind her to separate your feelings from the facts oh my gosh okay this for me has been life-changing separate your feelings from the facts your feelings may be that you feel discouraged your feelings may be that you feel so concerned about your future the feelings may be that you're anxious what's gonna happen what's in store for the future i'm so worried about what i don't know about or what i can't control am i setting myself up for the future am i smart enough am i good enough am i prepared enough am i qualified enough to do the job that i'm doing to have the success that i want so badly to have the career that i want so badly do i have the talent for it there's a million questions you're gonna ask yourself and for me it helps when i'm like these are the facts mariah you are 25 years old you have your own business like for you whoever it is make a list for yourself you have your own business you're healthy you're smart you're kind you're funny people like you people love you you have a group of people who love you like make a list of what are the facts and the facts will be different for every person like at 25 years old i i was heartbroken like i had you know was going in a tumultuous relationship like are you cheating on me you're not cheating on me what's going on uh like that was that my facts had to be that i had a mom that loved me i had a sister that would do anything for me honestly at 25 the cheetah girls was over i didn't know what my career would be at that like i told you this if i'm honest i was broke those were my facts so there was good facts and there was bad facts but i had to separate my feelings of anxiety from what i knew to be true and what i know to be true is that i was just getting started that there was so much more for me to do in life and that i had people that loved me and supported me in whatever that was gonna be it was almost surrendering to what i knew was true about god and my life versus all the feelings i had about it and i don't know why that just helped me get through like it literally helped me be like okay let me refocus and not allow how i'm feeling to be the driving force in my life and instead let me reassure myself of what is true that's so good and i think i love what you said like there are some good facts and there's bad facts there is you can choose which facts to focus on yeah and you tell me that all the time like if you sit and focus on the bad the bad is that's the energy that you're spending you're spending energy on what you don't have what you're not like what you're not doing but it's like even down to really funny things like you'll be like you have amazing eyebrows you need to focus that you have great eyebrows you have great eyebrows no you have a fun like you make a slap you have a good sense of humor like even little things about yourself that you're like are you know may think are minuscule guys every single one of you watching this whether you know it or not you've got gifting you've got talent and you've got purpose and god has a plan for your life it's now just figuring out how to surrender to that yeah i literally always saw her this and she's probably like oh my gosh but i'm like you're a baby but it's not even about the number 25 that makes her a baby technically we can all start over and start fresh at any age like i literally am going to be 40 in a few years and that for me is going to be a whole new beginning like and i i can literally decide tomorrow i want to start over today i want to choose a different career path if i want to recognize that this does not serve me this does not make me happy i can decide that tomorrow and so you can choose to have those experiences and guess what maybe a year later two years later three years later 10 years later you might again choose to do something different like for me i am not afraid of taking chances because i've experienced so much disappointment and i survived it like you will get through it like i always say this you know you're gonna get through this right that is the number one like if you're alive that's a fact if you're alive and you're healthy you get like you're going to get through it and that sometimes is just the key that i need i just want to say thank you for all of these things that you've taught me you i'm halfway there don't mess up my makeup i'm halfway to 30 and then we'll be sitting here and i'll be like how to survive your 30s enjoy it enjoy the journey enjoy the good enjoy the bad um recognize that at some point you're going to be in your 30s and you're going to be helping someone in their 20s and you're going to have a story that encourages somebody that hopefully tells somebody girl it was rough and i got through it so you can get through it too that's pretty much what i'm doing here today so i hope that no matter what stage or what age of your life you're at that's something we said here one thing that we said here helped you or encouraged you right yeah and if you guys have any of those life hacks for your 20s whether you're in your 20s past if you're in your 40s if you're in your 50s we want the wisdom let us know comment below what would you tell yourself when you were in your 20s yes we want to know and thank you for talking i love you i love you guys make sure you follow mariah mariah.houton on instagram she's amazing tell her all the facts in those comments but i love you guys and don't forget to tune in next week to all things adrian don't forget to subscribe [Music] you

Channel: All Things Adrienne

Views: 756,716

Keywords: Adrienne Houghton, Adrienne Bailon, All Things Adrienne, All Things Adrienne Houghton, Adrienne Houghton Youtube Channel, Adrienne, Kin Community, Lifestyle, Beauty, Fashion, How To, tips, Entertainment, Tutorial, what i wish i knew in my 20s, what i learned in my 20s, how to survive your 20s, 20s, advice for 20s, advice for 20 year olds, 20s advice, mariah houghton, advice for adults, advice for young adults, young adult, young adulthood, becoming an adult, how to survive adulthood

Id: tWs3vcQaoIs

Length: 20min 53sec (1253 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 15 2021