HOW I DO HOMESCHOOL||LACK OF EFFORT|OFF TASK||BAD ATTITUDES

hi you guys welcome back to my channel for another video today i am making another video to add to the how i do homeschool playlist that is a new playlist on my channel if this is the first one you're watching i have been creating these videos to go on to this how i do homeschool playlist to help homeschooling families that are coming behind me but also just to be kind of like a friend that you're sitting down having a chat about homeschooling with and um just share what we've done and what's worked for us since we've been homeschooling for the last seven years so this was the kind of information i was looking for when i first started homeschooling it's actually a large part of why i started my youtube channel was because i could not really find information like this and i still think i still think to this day that um this type of concise information on these topical things can be really helpful so i have a list that is running um because i told you guys to leave me a comment on the other videos that are going up if there's something that you want to see like how does ashley do x y or z fill in the blank in her home school and then i also told you guys that if that's something that you're wondering or you would like to see click like on their comment and so those um videos that a lot of you are wondering about how i do something i write down on my list and i'm just filming these as many as i can and hopefully we'll be continuing to upload about one a week i've got months of content here so um before we get into today's how i do homeschool video which you'll see in the title um i just want to throw the disclaimer out there i'm gonna say this every single video because you never know if this is the first video someone is watching so i have to say this every video if you're watching every video that's going on this playlist you'll probably have this memorized by video number four and i apologize but this is how i am homeschooling i am not saying that this is how you should homeschool and i'm also not saying that this is the best way to do it or a better idea than someone else's i'm simply sharing how i do things in my home school that have been working for my family for the last seven years so take what you will from it take it as just opinion take it as you know you're gonna give it a try whatever you feel take it as that but i just want to make sure i cover all the bases so today we are going to be talking about this was probably um the second or third most requested video um is basically i'm combining a few things how i handle distraction no focus and lack of effort um in homeschool so again these get to be touchy subjects when you're talking about discipline and you're talking about how you parent but again i'm sharing what i do what i've done and and a lot of this is coming from a place of you guys telling me that you can tell that my kids are really well behaved even with the minimal amount that you guys are seeing from them um from what i share on social media it's about like one percent of their life that is lived out on um a picture that i might snap candidly or a day in the life video where you see you know 25 seconds of something we're doing so this is coming from you guys making this observation now i will tell you of course that my kids are normal kids they are not perfect children there are no perfect children um but i will tell you that i would agree with you that my kids for the most part are very well behaved now i will say that um you know if you're dealing with a child that has special needs or special circumstances you know i i can't speak to that because my kids are do not have any of those situations so also be aware of that now what i'm going to say as far as handling distraction no focus in school not staying on task or dealing with an attitude of a lack of effort a lot of you guys message me how i handle these situations now also important to know just like in parenting in general there's not a one-size-fits-all answer for this question it depends on what the situation is sometimes if my kids are not as focused as i know they can be and it's because they are tired um because we've been having late nights as a family that i'm gonna handle that differently than if my child is just being disobedient so i wish i could give you a one two three step-by-step process to make your kids be really focused and diligent on their schoolwork but that doesn't really exist and the reason it doesn't exist is because there's not always one reason for lack of focus lack of effort um or a bad attitude now with all that being said in terms of generality um my children know my expectations and you might say well how did you teach them their what you expect well i told them and i also informed them you know from early early on you know this is that you know if they handed me something that i didn't feel like was their best effort or they weren't giving it the time and attention that they needed then we would have a talk about that um so much of homeschooling is developing your children's character developing their spiritual character developing that discipline and um just those qualities that we do not naturally possess um some of us are born more disciplined than others but discipline is a skill learned through someone teaching you how to become more disciplined and so a lot of what you guys see is result of many many many hours of heart talks many many hours of discipline many many hours of correction many many circumstances that we have lived out in our homeschooling journey that i of course would never post online and so i think the biggest thing you can do when it comes to dealing with a lack of effort dealing with an attitude when it comes to schoolwork is all going to depend on the expectations you've set for your child if you've set expectations that they need to have a pleasant attitude when they're coming to the school table or wherever you might do your homeschooling work talk to them about why they need to have a positive attitude why do they need to be pleasant to be around use yourself as an example do you want to be around me when i'm acting like i can't stand to be near you do you want to be around me when i just wake up and i'm grumpy and i'm short with you and you did nothing wrong um these are actual conversations i've had with my children and kids require discipline it's just the cold hard truth you guys and i am not a parent and again this this is how i do it and i'm not telling you guys to do the same thing as me but i'm just saying i am not a parent that spends um that allows my child to dictate what goes on in my house so i will hear out their feelings i will meet them where they are i will honor their feelings i will say well i'm really sorry that you're feeling that way but unfortunately i'm going to have to have you complete this or if they're really being difficult and nasty you know i'm not gonna allow you to speak to me that way you're not honoring me as your mother and you're also not honoring the lord with that type of tone so i would like you to go into your room until you feel that you're ready to apologize for the way you're speaking to me you know these are actual things that i have done and do and will continue to do as i raise my kids so my children do not dictate my house i and my husband are in charge of our home and our children understand their place in our home so that's just something we've set up we we don't do the whole um oh well you don't feel like doing your school work today so we're not gonna do it i mean that's just not the way that we operate now that doesn't mean that we don't care about our kids feelings or talk about them so don't hear me wrong but we're in charge and my kids know that we're in charge and if they are just being directly defiant then there are consequences for that i get asked all the time what kind of consequences do you do well it just depends on your home your kids ages what you feel comfortable with and what um works quite honestly you really have to find out what works on a certain child all of my kids don't require the same discipline because they're not the same people i've got stubborn kids i've got hard-headed kids and then i've got really passive and um sensitive kids i've got them all and so the way that i discipline is not a one-size-fits-all situation and i also parent out of grace um so i understand that my kids are not gonna be perfect so i give them grace but i will when i when i am giving them the grace i let them know i am actually not happy this would be something i would say i'm actually not happy with how you completed this but i'm going to give you the opportunity to do it correctly in the way that you know it needs to be done again now if you choose to not put your effort into this piece of work again for the second time then unfortunately there's going to be a consequence for that and that would be something that i have said and directly have said to my kids so sorry my camera battery died but um those are conversations i would have with my children now i know a lot of you guys who watch me have younger kids and you might be thinking okay well that's how she does things now but how did you do that in the younger years well in the younger years i was establishing this foundation um and it was very difficult to do i'm not even going to tell you it was easy it was not there were so many days where i would just be in tears because i was dealing with a certain kid who was just being so difficult and it just felt like we were never gonna get through to that child but i'm happy to report that all of those initial super super duper hard days of disciplining and taking things away and loss of privilege and just feeling like that's all i did over and over and over again were not in vain they were in fact um cultivating character in my children so that the days we're experiencing now although there are plenty of difficult days they're not quite as difficult as that season was for me and i think the reason why is because we were very um diligent in our discipline we were very diligent in sticking to consequences once they were issued and we we met what we said and we said what we meant and because we parented that way from the beginning now it's just like it's not even a question in my home if if that can make any sense at all so i think if you have younger children and you're wanting them to um be respectful to you then that starts when they're really little with the way they speak to you if you want them to learn that if they disobey they're not gonna get away with it then you must follow through with consequences even if that's all it feels like you're doing um if you want them to put effort into their schoolwork then that starts with you know early on in their schooling journey you know if you can tell that they're just really not giving it their best shot talking about that working out those things so that by the time they're nearing high school and upper middle school the foundation has been laid and so that is kind of my thought process on all of that now to quickly summarize because i want to keep these videos short and sweet um the whole handling distraction and no focus uh you know there's no one-size-fits-all answer for that so like if my kid is distracted by something in the room it leaves the room if my kid is distracted by you know a pencil that they're tapping on their hands or rolling it around during morning basket i i might remove the pencil and and put something in front of them that's not noisy to to keep their hands busy um if they're having a hard time focusing on their schoolwork because they're tired then and i'm aware that they're tired then i probably wouldn't discipline in that instance i would just have them go to bed earlier that night um and if it ever just becomes really ugly and there have been a few days where it has then i i just know in my mom heart that my relationship with them is more important to me than uh you know talking about a test or something like that and so we just will not talk about that or we'll set it aside um but i think you have to have realistic expectations of your kids and so i obviously would not require a six-year-old to sit at a desk for two hours that's just unrealistic and that can sometimes be perceived as having a distracted child but really they're just a six-year-old so there's so much that i could say to to this video and it's just impossible for me to give one answer um but that is that's how i handle distraction and and loss of focus is just identifying what it is and then deciding what needs to be done about that another thing i want to mention in this video is that children are meant to be very physically active um adults are also meant to be physically active but children require a lot more physical activity and so if you're having a hard time with your child not focusing and um being very distracted and just got a lot of energy and really can't contain it figure out ways to allow them to burn off energy before you try to do school work with them because sometimes you know kids especially now with the way things have been they're just not getting the physical activity that they need kids need way more than 20 or 30 minutes of pe a day you know if they were in public school so allow them to burn off their energy move their bodies exercise all of my kids play sports and some play you know more intense sports than others and i think certain children require more intense um exercise for mental or physical benefit and sometimes that can be the answer so you know um if you've got a child that just has a little bit more of a struggle you might consider upping their physical activity um and you might see an improvement of course not like in an instant but over time so those are kind of an overview of how i handle attitudes you know and lack of effort and all of those things i hope that this video was helpful it was just impossible to tell you exactly what i do because i address each child in each case on a case by case you know what is going on and then i assess it but i hope that you heard me clearly on you know what i've established in my home is that disrespect is not tolerated disobedience is not tolerated and it's not just not tolerated because i said it's because that's what scripture says and so that's where we kind of operate out of and when we have to issue consequences we follow through and they my children have learned that we do that and so i am not often met these days with a lack of effort or bad attitudes um because it's just not something i tolerate i will excuse my teenagers quickly if they are speaking to me in an inhumane way so um i hope that this video helps let me know your thoughts and if you have a request from me for a how i do homeschool video post it down below and i will add it on to my list should i see enough people want to see it so i hope you guys are doing well and enjoyed hearing from me on this topic and give me a thumbs up if you're happy about this playlist in this series and i will see you all in my next one really soon bye guys [Music] misty mountains

Channel: Grace and Grit

Views: 6,753

Rating: 4.9552002 out of 5

Keywords: Ashlee williams, grace and grit, homeschool, homeschooling, homeschool mom, mom of 4, mom motivation, productive mom

Id: iMu0Pxsoh-w

Length: 18min 11sec (1091 seconds)

Published: Tue May 25 2021