How I became the fastest pencil sharpener in the world

pencil sharpening everyone knows what it is and almost anyone can do it but can anyone claim they're actually good at pencil sharpening well i think i can and i can prove it to you this was my journey to get the world record this all starts way back in december of last year i saw a video that easyscape had made titled meme speedruns it included a bunch of wacky speedruns but the one that piqued my interest was the pencil sharpening the run featured in the video was pencil sharpening using a drill which was just ridiculous 10 pencils sharpened all the way down in under a minute this record i knew i wasn't going to try to beat so i just moved on and kept the video in the back of my mind until january i got recommended the video again and was reminded of the speedrun i got curious as to what the leaderboard looked like so i went over to speedrun.com to check it out and as expected the leaderboard was pretty empty and then i noticed it the drillless categories i was immediately interested and clicked on the tab to find there were just seven runs and first place took 35 minutes and 35 seconds to sharpen 10 pencils down to stubs over 30 minutes to sharpen 10 pencils it couldn't be that hard to beat and hey if i got the world record it wouldn't make a great title for a dumb video so i put it on my stream schedule for the week did some prep and streamed my first attempt at speed running pencil sharpening now when i say i did some prep i mean i did a lot of prep i went out i bought three different kinds of pencils two different sharpeners before the stream i did some experimenting and determined which two sharpeners were faster and that the higher quality pencils sharpened easier but that wasn't all i prepared i also bought something else to assist me in the run i feel like i did a good job of explaining it live now right now my hands they're soft they're weak like my hands are a mad cat's controller i need a premium controller to be able to get this world record or at least to help so i bought some gloves now i have two styles of gloves all right a flex time work armor dry hide water resistant leather the pencils just run right along it i wasn't sure if this would be good so i got the opposite end of the spectrum maximum dexterity durability and impact protection in a single glove mad grip how much money did all this cost i'm gonna be honest it was over fifty dollars the true big brain threat isn't one kind of glove it's one kind of glove each you got one for sliding and one for holding the sharpener it feels good the nerves let's do it we're going and so i started my first run confident i could beat the world record just over a minute in i realized one of the gloves wasn't actually helpful two minutes eight seconds for the first pencil while sharpening the second pencil i realized the other glove was also slowing me down i tried multiple strategies but nothing felt fast the sharpener got jammed and i had to switch to the slower one i finished the second pencil at the 5 minute 34 second mark from there things began to deteriorate pencil 3 took almost five minutes my hands started to form blisters and my forearms were screaming in pain but i went on sharpening away i kept on sharpening as hard as i could and by the eighth pencil the world record came and went i pressed onwards i'm too far to quit i finished my first 10 pencils drill the speed run in 49 minutes 18 seconds all the preparation was for nothing and my hands were blistered and broken but i had secured myself a fifth place spot on the leaderboard i waited two weeks for my hands to recover and decided to give the world record another try when the day came though i was met with a surprise there's no way one second pencil sharpening speedrun 80 10 pencils and pencil someone did it in 11 minutes what the hell oh my god he mows through those pencils i had uploaded a video of my first pencil sharpening attempt and it seemed to have inspired some to improve the record because the leaderboard had doubled in size comfy boy had beaten the previous world record by 25 minutes a huge improvement to what seemed like an already difficult run to beat i was disheartened but that wasn't going to stop me especially because i had done more prep this time i had a secret weapon the kutsuh stad 2 maiba double blade pencil sharpener i ordered the sharpener from japan it contained two blades and claimed to be the fastest pencil sharpener i was confident in my chances with bare hands and the best sharpener money could buy i started the run and began to sharpen like a madman the first pencil was slower than the previous run finishing in 223 but after the first i got into a rhythm and i started plowing through the pencils my hands felt far stronger and faster than the previous attempt i saved minutes with each pencil i sharpened the time save just piling up and i finished the run in just under 30 minutes that's it we're done it was enough to get me fourth place on the pencil sharpening leaderboards still almost 20 minutes off the world record i knew it was going to be a long grind to be the best but i was determined i would not stop until the record was mine so uh two weeks later i tried again and failed the blades in the sharpener had become dull i couldn't even get past the second pencil it's not sharpening it won't do anything and on top of that things became even more disastrous from my hopes at getting the world record two pencil sharpening titans appeared seemingly out of nowhere their pencil sharpening strategies and abilities were unlike anything the world had ever seen before their names were foot cream and begrim34 how fast do you think they could sharpen a pencil down to nothing maybe one minute 50 seconds 40 seconds no six seconds their pb for a single pencil was six seconds by holding a specific style of sharpener between their feet and spinning the pencil between both of their hands they were able to decimate the 10 pencils leaderboard foot cream's 10 pencil world record was 3 minutes and 50 seconds a time so unimaginably fast there was nothing i could do but give up there was no way i could ever come close to these pencil juggernauts and so i i did i gave up i realized my dream was unachievable and i stopped sharpening pencils until the next day when i received a message from the sharpening masters themselves we heard you would like to sharpen your skills i would be happy to lead you in the right direction the pencil sharpening dudes like benevolent gods they bestowed upon me the knowledge and sharpeners required to ascend to their levels of pencil sharpening brilliance one month later i received a package containing their finest sharpeners 30 individually packaged 99 cent sharpeners from their local walmart the next day i was ready to crush my personal best using the revolutionary new foot holding technique and superior sharpeners i was not going to let these sharpening deities down i sharpened it was clear this method was far superior to everything that came before it as i saved more and more time with each pencil i wasn't perfectly comfortable with this new approach but it was working wonders i finished the run in 8 minutes and 58 seconds 21 minutes faster than my previous best it was still quite a ways from the record but it was a huge leap in the right direction my hands were torn up a bit from the sharpening so i took a two week break over those two weeks i did some testing on my own the sharpener between feet method was uncomfortable and awkward i needed something better and what i came up with was the final piece of the puzzle i went to the floor hey that's pretty good i found that if i kneeled i could squeeze the sharpener between my thighs and sharpen near effortlessly and when i returned to the run i was focused like never before here we go and start oh almost done one pencil one done pencil two down the last little bit like so on to the next five down already half done let's go one more last pencil here we go 526 another personal best and only 86 seconds from the world record and with this time i started to believe i knew it was possible but i had to make a few more small changes to my strategy i should not have wore sweatpants it's slipping so hard the sharpener was slipping between my pants during the run so i needed to hold it against my bare skin it took far too long to get the pencils into the sharpener so if i used one sharpener per pencil instead it would save time i also hit my keyboard to track my progress for each pencil losing a few seconds for each one i needed to stop that so i made the necessary changes and the next week i sharpened once again i got some shorts i had 10 sharpeners all in a line shorts on and a basic timer i started the run go but it didn't go well most of the sharpeners were new and since i hadn't tested them i didn't realize that many of them would just jam up instantly it lasts me several seconds with each pencil no it's not sharpening 6 34 10 pencils that's okay it wasn't a pb this was the first run i had ever done that was slower than the previous and i was slow but i was not defeated my hands and forearms were exhausted and floor was covered in shavings but i chose to do another run i used one sharpener one i knew wouldn't jam another run that wasn't a personal best this run though confirmed the feeling i had in my heart i was running on empty the entire time and yet i was so close to the record using this final strategy kneeling on the ground wearing shorts with a 99 cent walmart pencil sharpener thousands of people cheering me on and the blessing of the speed running titans i knew the next attempt would be the one the run where i achieve my dream of becoming the fastest pencil sharpener in the world i let my hands and arms recover refreshed my stock of pencils then gave it one final try i started the run and immediately something was different the first pencil i finished in under 30 seconds the second pencil i finished by 53. this was a pace i had never previously experienced every pencil was spinning within the sharpener faster than all others in the past what was different well all runs before this i had bought cheap dollar store pencils that broke and caught in the sharpener's blades but this time and i'm not quite sure why when selecting the pencils i opted for the premium brand they made all the difference pencils three four and five all went down smooth my hands and arms weren't tired at all so i focused and picked up the pace pencil six took 20 seconds seven took fifteen pencil eight ten pencil nine fifteen but at the three minute mark the final pencil got jammed let's do this heck that one's jammed no i fumbled around with my backup sharpeners and finally i got the final pencil into the new sharpener and began to spin the pencil between my hands it was slower but i kept going until come on done okay three minutes 38 seconds is that world record i don't know that might be world record i can't remember what the record is is that it still in my pencil sharpening delirium i didn't realize what i had just done i completely forgot my goal time and had to check the leaderboards to see how i ranked casual 10 pencil drill less 350 that's a record i think we just got the world record let's go after four months of sharpening my skills at long last i had surpassed the legendary foot cream and secured myself the most prestigious world record i will ever hold i am the fastest pencil sharpener in the world well that that's pretty much it um if you want to watch live check me out on twitch if you liked the video subscribe for more i play games wrong all the time um so yeah uh thanks for watching i'll see you next time

Channel: undefined

Views: 6,859,570

Rating: 4.9472642 out of 5

Keywords: speedruns, speedrun, speedrunning, speedrunner, speedrunners, any%, world record, wr, world, record, personal best, pb, strats, skip, fail, agdq, sgdq, gdq, games done quick, meme, memeruns, meme speedrun, top 10 meme speedruns, pencil sharpener, pencil sharpening, 10 pencil, 10 pencil speedrun, 10 pencil irl, how I became

Id: oKEsSNJCVe8

Length: 13min 9sec (789 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 23 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/redsavage0]

Amazing, what an absurd yet satisfying journey

[u/jcornell]

I can’t believe I just watched this for 13 minutes. But I’m glad I did.

[u/Se7enLC]

Related documentary on how to sharpen pencils

https://vimeo.com/60718161