How Doritos Gave Us Trump

okay this might sound a little weird but bear with me I believe Doritos the snack chips are responsible for Donald Trump the presidential candidate how's that you say okay follow this once upon a time we had Doritos they came in very simple normal flavors like nacho cheese and ranch and we all said well that's just fine thank you but then there were so many snack chips competing for space and the Doritos people wanted to stay on top and stay out in front of whatever snack chip trans might be coming just around the Riverbend so someone at Doritos headquarters said what if we came up with flavors that were more you know and everyone else said more what and this guy will call him Jack and Jack said more what's the word and they said come on Jack spit it out and Jack searched around his vocabulary and said you know flavors that were more extreme and they said more extremely what extremely good extremely tasty and Jack said no no not extremely tasty just you know more extreme and so we got extreme Doritos and flavours like extreme nacho cheese and hot wings slash blue cheese and habanero slash guacamole and pretty soon if you were eating regular old Doritos people would look at you like you were a wimp and you'd think I don't want to be a whip I better get me some extreme Doritos and that has spread to candy like Sour Patch Kids which became extreme mega super sour patch kids stopping just short of medically damaging your mouth and we said yeah now we feel alive and then we looked at our sports our golf our baseball our gymnastics and said I get more of a buzz from eating a habanero slash guacamole Dorito than from watching this gymnastics tournament sure you can do a double backflip but as far as I can tell so can every nine-year-old Russian girl let's see you do a double backflip on skis let's see you do a double backflip on a motorcycle let's see you do a double backflip on a wait for it snowmobile and extreme sports were born an ESPN launched the X Games where the X stands for extreme even though extreme starts with an E and we said yeah now we feel alive but some of us wanted to participate in extreme sports even though we had no actual talent so we invented I'm not making this up ultimate taser ball a new extreme sport for the bold but talentless where two teams kick around a giant soccer ball while trying to take each other suffice it to say you get tased you're out literally and figuratively and then we started extreme our clothes our tennis shoes our menus our meal portions our TV shows extreme weight loss and Extreme Home Makeover and my 600-pound life and my 45 children that I homeschool while producing a reality television show and pretty soon a storyline didn't even register in our brains if it wasn't taken to extremes just as snack food flavors no longer registered in our mouths unless they were taken to extremes and then we looked at our politics and we thought hmm this is a little dull Michael Dukakis dull Mitt Romney dull Mitch McConnell dull dull dull we accidentally watched c-span one day for a couple of minutes and learned that governing a country is so dull it almost made the golf channel tolerable but not quite and so we thought oh if only our political candidates were more you know extreme like the rest of our lives and so we tried a pizza magnate and then a strange reality show beauty queen from Alaska and we thought not bad but couldn't there be something even more extreme and then a noise arose out of the east somewhere around Fifth Avenue in New York City and a great puff circus peanut of a man descended from penthouse heaven on a golden escalator to give us to give us exactly what we'd been asking for and we said yes now we feel alive never mind that his policy positions didn't actually make any sense never mind that he insulted whole classes of people condoned a little torture and maybe a war crime or two and maybe just a little bit encouraged violence against protesters who stood in his way never mind that we felt alive and it all started when someone realized our snack chips seemed a little dull as followers of Jesus we don't need our snack chips or our sports to make us feel alive and we certainly don't need our political leaders to make us feel alive we are alive in Christ we have a kind of life the world can only dream of and as followers of Jesus we live our lives without fear fear of boredom who could be bored on adventure with God fear of rejection who could feel rejection you're bathed in the love of God fear of scarcity of not having enough economically of outsiders taking our jobs our success who can fear scarcity when God is our all if you are a follower of Jesus and someone tells you you won't be happy until you buy their chips or watch their show or play their sport if someone tells you you won't be winning until you build this wall or shut out this world religion tell them you aren't buying what they are selling love does not fear in God there is no scarcity so eat regular old chips play your old sports and beware politicians who court extremes who trade in fear who paint others as boogeymen out to get us to quote a famous tomato God is bigger than the boogeyman don't live in fear don't vote in fear let divine love guide your way let divine abundance fill your hearts live fearlessly love Christianly

Channel: Phil Vischer

Views: 137,433

Rating: 4.6593933 out of 5

Keywords: Doritos, Donald Trump, Phil Vischer, extreme, extreme sports, christianity, christians, christ, politics, republicans, phil vischer podcast, x games, taser, ultimate taser ball, veggie tales, veggietales, Bob the tomato, bob, the, tomato

Id: FEvSJbwNbWI

Length: 5min 39sec (339 seconds)

Published: Wed May 11 2016